Work Text:
i.
Eddie woke up on his eighteenth birthday full of excitement. He would finally have his soulmate mark, the mark that would show him the person who would best compliment him in life. His perfect person.
He ran for the bathroom, ripping off his shirt as soon as the door was closed so he could figure out where his mark was. It only took a moment of frantic searching before he saw it on his upper left arm, just at the ball of shoulder.
It seemed to be a tub of popcorn, the red stripes of the box vivid against the white stripes and the yellow of the popcorn itself.
Eddie stared at the mark for several long minutes, drinking in every detail. No ideas of who the mark could be leading him to came to mind, though that wasn’t really strange seeing as he didn’t know many people. His mother had been homeschooling him since they moved to New York a few years earlier and even beside that, he wasn't much good at making friends.
He couldn’t think of what the mark might mean as an important part of his life either. He didn’t go to the movies much; his mom thought the air there was stagnant and the films themselves a bad influence. Perhaps he’d meet his soulmate at the movies or they’d work at a theater. Maybe they were even a movie star, though that seemed incredibly farfetched.
But there was something about the mark that tickled at the back of his brain like deja vu. Something important if only he could remember what it was.
“Eddie-bear, breakfast!”
Eddie was startled out of his contemplation by his mother’s call and he hurriedly shrugged his shirt back on. For some reason he didn’t want her to see it, at least not yet. It felt private somehow, though most people didn’t make an effort to hide their marks day to day. Maybe it was just that his mark was so new and he wanted one thing for just himself.
“There you are, Eddie-bear,” his mother gushed as he stepped into the kitchen. “I was so afraid when you didn’t come down at your usual time! Don’t scare mommy like that. And on your birthday, too.”
“Sorry, mommy,” Eddie mumbled, feeling suddenly sheepish. He should have known his mother would worry when he didn’t come downstairs and instead stared into the mirror for who knew how long. “I just wanted to see my mark since it came in today.”
His mother sniffed disapprovingly and Eddie found himself shrinking into his chair. He knew she didn’t care for soulmate marks. He wasn’t sure why, except that she was one of the small percentage of people who never got one.
“I had really hoped yours wouldn’t come in,” she said sadly, looking almost like she might cry. “There’s no telling who you’re matched to! She could be just awful. She could try to take you away from me! Oh, it makes me worry so much for my poor boy.”
“No one’s going to take me away from you,” Eddie replied dutifully.
He thought privately that it wouldn’t be so bad if they did, especially if that person was his perfect match. Yes, she was his mother and he loved her, but he was sure he’d love his soulmate more. Whoever they were, he hoped he’d meet them soon. He’d wait for them no matter what.
ii.
Eddie was thirty three years old and he still hadn’t found his soulmate. Maybe he’d been naive thinking he’d be happy to wait for his soulmate, but in his defense he hadn’t expected to have to wait this long.
Most people met their soulmates by twenty and almost all the rest by twenty five. It was practically unheard of to have a mark but no soulmate any later than that. But here he was, fifteen years after his soulmate mark appeared, and nothing. No soulmate, no hint at who it could be. To say he was beginning to lose hope was underselling it. Severely.
The disappointment and anger he felt over still being alone was only exacerbated by his mother’s meddling. She still mentioned every once in a while that she wished he’d been born without a mark or wished he would never find his mark and then leave her all alone. It was enough to give him a migraine on a good day.
Lately it had been even worse though. One of her nurses, Myra, was unmarked and she’d taken a liking to her. Every time Eddie visited his mother, he had to put up with stories about how wonderful Myra was and how wonderful of a couple she thought they’d be if only Eddie could see things her way. She’d even arranged for them to “accidentally” meet one day and probably would have insisted on them going on a date then and there if Myra hadn’t been headed out to see her own mother.
There was nothing wrong with Myra probably, not that Eddie knew much about her other than what his mother told him. She wasn’t his soulmate and he desperately wanted to hold onto the hope that someday he’d meet his soulmate, but that was looking less and less likely as time went on. He was well past the normal age of meeting one’s soulmate.
So, he thought, maybe he should just give his mother what she wanted. He could ask Myra on a date and maybe they’d get along and maybe they could be happy together. At least then he wouldn’t be alone and his mother would stop nagging him about it.
Maybe it was time to give up on that childish desire to wait on a soulmate who looked like they were never going to actually appear.
iii.
They ended up getting married two years later and his mother was delighted. The wedding was gorgeous — of course it was, his mother planned every inch of it and paid for it too, to Myra’s delight — and Eddie was miserable.
The wedding didn’t feel like his, just a thing he was taking part in because he had to. He couldn’t get out of it now, not with his mother and Myra so excited. Not that he wanted to. Because he wanted to marry Myra. It didn’t matter that they weren’t soulmates, they’d chosen each other and that was even better.
Right?
But in the end, either way, no matter what he might feel deep down, he and Myra were married.
Eddie thought afterward that he was happy, or at least as happy as he could hope for. If his soulmate mark sometimes tingled uncomfortably or he sometimes wished he was laying in bed with anyone but Myra, well, that was just how things were.
He learned to deal with the disappointments. He’d been dealing with them his whole life and he was sure he’d continue to do so. Life was all about disappointment. If nothing else, his mother had taught him that.
iv.
Sometimes Eddie dreamed of his soulmate, or at least dreamed of what it might be like to have a soulmate. They held him close and he could feel the love from them. His mother always called his soulmate a she — not that they talked about his soulmate much since she hated the subject — but he wasn't so sure. It didn't matter to him, really, what gender his soulmate happened to be, and he couldn't exactly say for sure what he liked anyway.
His dream soulmate always had strong arms and prickly stubble on their chin, but he thought that might just be because that was so different from what he had now. Myra was certainly the opposite of that. She even hated to get too close in bed at night because she said he had cold feet and he was too clingy.
He stayed carefully on his side of the bed, laying awake until long after Myra's quiet snores filled the room, wondering if he was happy. He wasn't unhappy, he didn't think, but it always felt like something was missing. Maybe that missing thing was his soulmate, or maybe it was something else altogether.
The chances of him meeting his soulmate now, well into his thirties, was slim to none. It was pointless to dwell on what could be or what might be different. All that really mattered was what he had right now. He could at least try to be content.
v.
Eddie was in an argument with Myra, like it seemed he always was these days, when the call came in. It was a relief to have an excuse to hang up on her, at least until he heard what the call was about.
The call was from Mike in Derry, Maine, a place he’d never been or even heard of. Except… he had. He’d grown up there? And… had friends?
Eddie’s head was immediately spinning even while Mike continued to talk, thoughts racing with sudden childhood memories uncovered and the just as sudden realization — though he couldn’t exactly say how that realization came about — that his soulmate was somehow connected to Derry.
His racing thoughts were brought to an abrupt stop as he hit another car and the airbags deployed. Sputtering, body aching from the impact, he shoved them away and stumbled out the door of the car. He could hear shouting, probably from the other driver whose car he hit, and Mike’s tinny voice from the phone, asking what was happening and if he was alright.
Eddie shoved the phone back up to his ear. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here, I’m fine,” he snapped. “I’ll be there. Whatever. Just… just text me the details.”
He hung up without waiting for an answer and was dialing again before he could think better of it. The other driver was still yelling at him, and there were honks from behind them where they’d stopped traffic. He ignored it all, breath coming hard like he’d just run a marathon.
“How dare you hang up on me, Eddie, I-”
“I want a divorce,” Eddie said, cutting Myra off mid rant, not giving her the chance to really get going. “I want a divorce and I’m leaving. I’m flying out today and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Or if I’ll be back.”
He hung up, feeling, probably irrationally, happier than he could remember feeling in years.
vi.
The Jade was loud and overwhelming at first. Eddie’s mind was still abuzz with resurfacing memories of friends he hadn’t even known until a few hours ago that he had had as a child. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten them.
“I’m married, asshole!”
At least for now, he thought, as Richie laughed his ass off, making another tasteless joke about Eddie’s mom. Hopefully his divorce would go quickly once he got back to New York City. It would go much quicker if he met his soulmate, though. That was the best guarantee for an easy divorce, especially since Myra didn’t have a mark and it was obvious their marriage hadn’t been a true match.
Amongst the laughter and talking, he tried to surreptitiously see if he could spot any of the others’ soulmate marks. He had a feeling deep in his gut that his soulmate was connected here, and it would make sense that one of them might be it. He liked the idea of having met his soulmate long before his mark emerged rather than being a forty year old who had somehow yet to meet his soulmate.
It was more difficult than he’d been thinking on the flight up to tell if any of them might be his soulmate. He felt connected to all of them, and as they laughed and talked and ate, it was obvious why. They’d all been best friends.
Richie, though, had been his closest best friend. He could remember that now, at least in parts. That must be why Eddie felt so especially connected to him, even more than the others.
Unfortunately he didn’t have a lot of time to think about it before the most important memories came through, the ones about It, and everything seemed to go to hell all at once. There was no time to think about possible soulmate after that.
vii.
Of course he did keep thinking about it. He’d never been very good at not thinking. But it was just an undercurrent to the terror and fear that gripped him, knowing that It was back and they — the Losers, his long lost friends — were the only ones with a hope to stop It.
Eddie wished with all his heart that being forty year old who hadn’t yet met his soulmate was again his biggest problem in the world. Because even if he hadn’t kept thinking about his lack of soulmate, It wouldn’t allow him to forget anyway.
The morning after the Jade, Eddie woke up groggy and sick to his stomach. That was his excuse for not seeing something was wrong sooner when he looked in the mirror in the bathroom. He looked up after brushing his teeth and there was something off about his reflection. It took a moment to compute, but then he frowned.
And his reflection didn’t.
“What the fuck?” Eddie gasped out, stumbling back a little. His toothbrush was held up in one hand, like that might help protect him from anything but plaque and gingivitis.
“You really are pretty pathetic, aren’t you, Eddie?” his reflection asked in a mocking voice, smile growing so wide it distorted his face until it was barely recognizable as him anymore. “But everyone always knew that about you, didn’t they? Even your mother.”
Eddie gritted his teeth. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard a hundred times before, even from himself, but that didn’t mean he liked it. “Fuck you! You don’t know anything about me!”
“Oh, don’t I? I know you’re old now and you still haven’t even found your soulmate! Pathetic. Little. Freak.”
A cold, sick feeling welled up in Eddie’s stomach and he stumbled back another step before he could stop himself. “Fuck you!” he managed to get out from between clenched teeth.
He thought for a second about arguing, about yelling out every defense against him being old or it being ok for him to not have found his soulmate. But he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. It didn’t care. It just wanted to hurt him.
Sometimes it seemed like that’s all anyone around Eddie wanted to do. And he was sick of it.
There was a bottle of shaving cream sitting on the sink from where he’d put it out the night before and he grabbed it before he could think better of it and swung, bringing the metal base of it into contact with the mirror right on It’s horrible, smiling mouth. The mirror shattered with the sound of a gunshot and It’s face fell around him in gleaming shards.
“Fuck,” Eddie whispered, looking around at the mess.
He’d have to tell somebody who worked at the inn that he’d broken the mirror so they could clean it up and fix it, hopefully soon. The thought of having to pay for it when it was that fucking clown’s fault in the first place burned, but he’d do it if he had to. It wasn’t like he had any other choice, was it?
Seemed like he never really got to make any choices for himself.
The rage that had consumed him when he broke the mirror drained away as quickly as it had come, leaving him exhausted and feeling more empty than ever.
It hurt to have the confirmation, especially from that monster, about how pathetic it was he hadn’t found his soulmate yet. But Eddie had been acting like he would never find his soulmate for the last seven years, ever since he got together with Myra. He didn’t know why now would be any different or why it would suddenly hurt more.
Even if being in Derry made his mark tingle, even if being with Richie made him wonder… Nothing had really changed, It had shown him that at least. There were more important things to think about. There always had been, he’d just deluded himself for a while that there weren’t. He hadn’t met his soulmate and probably wouldn’t. He told himself over and over that he was ok with that.
Maybe if he said it enough he’d actually believe it.
viii.
When Eddie returned to his room later that day, his mirror was fixed and there was no sign that he’d broken anything in the first place. He hadn’t told anyone at the inn yet since he hadn’t seen anyone. It made his already sour mood sour even further. That fucking clown was playing with him again. He really shouldn’t have expected anything else though. He knew better.
ix.
Things continued to go to hell over and over again and Eddie was starting to feel like he was in a nightmare that he just couldn’t wake up from. That wasn’t true, sadly, the pain in his face from being stabbed told him as much.
Eddie hated Derry with every fiber of his being. Hated It even more. But at least even with the neverending horrors and the attacks from their fucking childhood bully, the other Losers were beside him the whole way. He could follow Bill’s lead just like in the old days, listen to Mike’s stories about what had happened while they were all gone, stand up for Richie and his freezing terror just like Richie had always stood up for him when they were kids.
It felt good to stand at Richie’s side as they made their way through the sewers, even if he’d rather be anywhere else. At Richie’s side was a good thing. It had been twenty seven years ago, and less had changed than Eddie would have thought.
They meshed well, and Eddie found himself thinking that he might have been a little bit in love with Richie when they were kids. Might be a little bit in love with him now if he was being honest.
The thought burned in Eddie’s gut that maybe this was what he’d been missing all along. Maybe this was what he’d been waiting for. He hardly noticed the way his soulmate mark tingled every time he and Richie brushed against one another, so used to ignoring it as he was.
All he really had was a yearning, strong even below the fear that had pervaded ever since the Jade, maybe even ever since Mike’s call. He just hoped there’d be a chance after this to figure it all out.
x.
It stabbed him through the back right when he thought It was defeated, and all Eddie could think was that he wasn’t going to get a chance to find his soulmate after all.
xi.
Eddie blinked, eyelids feeling sluggish, body feeling cold. Richie was crouched over him, tears tracking through the dirt and who knew what else caked on his face. He could tell Richie was talking, but it was hard to make out the words over what sounded like the whole cavern system coming down on their heads and the other Losers shouting in the background.
“Am I dying?” he managed to cough out, something thick on his lips that he was sure was blood. He knew he was, but it was the only thing he could think to say.
Richie started to answer, but Eddie was immediately distracted from his frantic assurances by the sight of Richie’s arm. His shirt was rucked up at the shoulder, gunk smeared on the skin, but Eddie could see the mark plain as day there on his arm.
It was the same mark that he knew was on his own arm. A bright red tub of popcorn.
A memory surfaced suddenly — so clearly it was like it had happened yesterday instead of decades ago — of a movie theater balcony and popcorn and Richie going up against Henry and his group for him.
Eddie started laughing almost hysterically, more blood bubbling up past his lips. Richie looked even more worried, reaching out to hold him by the shoulders, trying to keep him still like that would make any difference when he’d been stabbed through the fucking chest by a demented clown from space.
“It figures I’d only find my soulmate when I’m dying,” Eddie said, letting his head thunk back against the cave wall, giving in that much at least to the exhaustion pulling at his limbs.
He could feel a tingle in his soulmate mark, the same feeling he’d been ignoring since coming to Derry, just stronger now. Richie’s eyes were wide and Eddie drank in the sight, wanting the face of his soulmate to be the last thing he saw at least. He really should have known before now. Maybe they would have had more time together then. Any time, really.
“What are you talking about, Eds?” Richie asked, already reaching for Eddie’s sleeve.
He obviously knew too, and Eddie spared a thought to wonder if he’d been suppressing the feeling all this time too. What a pair they made. Perfect for each other.
It was obvious when Richie saw Eddie’s mark because his eyes got, if possible, even wider. There was fear there that Eddie could see even though the haze of pain starting to creep outward from his chest. For all It had done to them and taken from them, both back when they were kids and now, Eddie hated It most for this. He’d never wanted to have to see that kind of look on his soulmate’s face.
Richie looked up, straight into Eddie’s eyes, and Eddie was shocked to see a fire there alongside the fear. He felt caught up in Richie’s gaze, not that he would have looked away even if he could. Not now, not ever.
“Fuck that,” Richie snarled, voice clear above the continuing sound of crumbling rock and shouting. “I’m not losing you now.”
He pressed his lips to Eddie’s before Eddie could even process what was happening. The kiss was desperate, every bit of their combined fear and love and anger coalescing right there. Eddie pressed into the kiss as best he could, aware of those feelings swelling out around them like a physical thing but far too lost in finally actually kissing Richie. Kissing his soulmate.
Suddenly everything went quiet. No more tumbling stones as the cavern came down on their heads, no more shouting from the other Losers. Nothing but the sound of his own heartbeat, slow and stilted until another started beating alongside it. Eddie knew somehow that it was Richie’s heartbeat, pulling his along, pulling him up and away.
Behind his closed eyelids he could see a great flash of light and everything else, including the feel of Richie’s lips against his own, fell away too.
xii.
It was dark. Or light, maybe. Eddie couldn’t really tell anymore. He was in a void of nothing. He couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t even smell or taste anything, though even then it was hard to tell if he’d moved to stick his tongue out or not. It was just… nothing.
And that, somehow, was the worst thing he could imagine.
Just when he’d finally found Richie — something he didn’t know he’d been desperate to do until the moment it happened, the idea just an undercurrent in the back of his mind that was finally being given the spotlight — it had been snatched away. It had taken that away from him. Just like It had taken Stan and Georgie and even his childhood.
And that he absolutely could not stand.
Eddie opened his mouth, a scream of rage and grief bubbling up in his throat, and he choked as his mouth was flooded with water. He sputtered, flailing in a way that he was pretty sure he hadn’t been capable of just a few moments ago. He’d been stabbed, he was dying, and now he was… not.
Strong hands wrapped around him, pulling him up, and Eddie opened his eyes, violently coughing water as he breached the surface. His whole vision was filled with Richie’s worried face. He thought wildly that he’d never been happier to see anyone in his whole life.
“Eds! Eddie! Eds!” Richie was saying, like he couldn't believe what was happening.
Eddie couldn't either to be honest, but perhaps this wasn’t the strangest thing that had happened to them. Or maybe it was. Ben had kissed Bev out of the deadlights, but Richie had kissed him out of death itself. That was pretty extraordinary.
It didn’t really matter which was stranger though, because all that mattered was that he was alive. However it happened, he was alive and he was here with Richie, his soulmate.
Eddie reached down to pat at his chest as Richie pulled them to shallower water where he wouldn’t have to tread water in the middle of the quarry just to keep them both up. His chest seemed fine, not a scratch or discolored patch to be seen. His shirt was torn and blood soaked, though, a reminder that not long before he had been stabbed through the chest.
“Eddie, you’re ok!” Bev shouted, and for the first time, Eddie realized that the other Losers were there too. He let Bev draw him in for a hug, her arms just this side of too tight as she held him.
The others took their turns too, then turned to hug Richie and each other like they couldn’t stand to not be touching each other now that they were all here, standing in dirty quarry water but somehow all alive.
“I thought you were dead, man,” Mike admitted as he took his turn, voice quiet enough that Eddie thought none of the others would be able to hear. From Richie’s wince, he’d obviously been close enough to hear anyway.
“Yeah, me too,” Eddie admitted. He’d been able to feel it, his life slipping away, and it was the worst feeling he could imagine. “Richie saved me.”
Mike looked over at Richie, eyebrows raised, and Richie shrugged helplessly. He didn’t seem to be able to come up with any of his usual irreverent quips, but hopefully that was just the shock. It’d wear off and Richie would be back to his normal self. Eddie hoped so at least.
Eddie reached over to grab Richie’s hand, locking their fingers together. The mark on his shoulder tingled pleasantly as they touched, and Eddie thought he could really get used to that feeling.
Already, with Richie at his side, Eddie felt happier than he could remember ever being. Things with Myra had been ok at least at the beginning, but they’d never been right for each other no matter how much Eddie had tried to convince himself otherwise for their whole relationship. This, with Richie, this was right.
“I should have known you two would be soulmates,” Mike said, this time loud enough to catch the attention of the others. He grinned, unapologetic at Eddie’s glare.
“Holy shit, really?” Bill exclaimed as he and the others crowded around, jostling to get close enough to see.
Rolling his eyes, Eddie pulled up the sleeve of his shirt, Richie doing the same thing beside him. It was nice to see the marks in the light, no longer quite so dirty thanks to the quarry water.
Eddie noticed his mark looked more vibrant somehow, like there was a glow around the edges. That was something he’d heard a lot of people talk about happening to their marks after their wedding, as an outward sign of their bonding, but they certainly hadn’t done anything like that. They’d just found out they had matching marks, they hadn’t had time for bonding!
But, really, when Eddie thought about it, what could bring two people closer together than fighting a fucking murderous clown and one of them being brought back from the brink of death by the other’s kiss. That was about the biggest bonding moment anyone could possibly have. And he had that with Richie.
And now they had all the time in the world to explore what that could mean for the two of them as a couple. Because that’s what they were no matter the fact that he was still technically married. He’d wondered why he’d told Myra he wanted a divorce so suddenly like that. It wasn’t like him, except for how it turned out it was and he just didn’t quite remember who he was. And, more importantly, his soulmate had been waiting for him. He’d known that then, even if he hadn’t been quite sure how.
Richie reached up to place a hand on Eddie’s cheek, and Eddie realized for the first time that the bandage covering his knife wound wasn’t there anymore, nor was the wound itself. It too was gone like it had never been there, all except for the slightly sad look in Richie’s eyes as he smiled crookedly at Eddie’s shock.
“I guess the turtle god decided he could do a little more than just bring you back to life,” he said. He grinned, eyes lighting up, and could see the Trashmouth was really back. “Coulda made you prettier, but I guess I’ll survive.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Fuck you. Just kiss me.”
Richie was more than happy to do so. Again and again and again, much to the other Losers’ amusement. Eddie didn’t mind in the least.
xiii.
The divorce, it turned out, was even easier to get than Eddie had ever hoped. Myra’s shouting only lasted a minute against Richie’s jokes, which were much more pointed after everything Eddie told him on the long drive down to New York City. She ended up slamming the door in their faces after only a few minutes, which Eddie was pretty sure was much more satisfying for him than for her.
The divorce papers were signed a week later and Eddie had never felt freer. Except for maybe at the wedding a month after that, surrounded by the other Losers, dancing with his soulmate and new husband.
This wedding, so different than his last, was exactly how he wanted it to be. He and Bev had worked hard on organizing it in such a small amount of time, with help from all the other Losers of course. Richie was happy to let him make it perfect, saying that all he really cared about was finally getting to marry Eddie.
Which had apparently been something he’d been thinking about since they were kids, long before their matching soulmate marks had come in. Eddie wasn’t sure that was something that had even crossed his mind at the time, but he couldn’t help but be charmed. Even before the marks that told them they were perfect for each other, Richie had wanted him and loved him.
It was a life he had barely allowed himself to imagine all those years ago when his soulmate mark showed up, but he was going to live it to the fullest.
That fucking clown couldn’t keep him down, and now nothing would.