Chapter Text
After. After facing her mother's killer, after pushing Aang further and further away (for his own good, she tried to convince herself each day), after the disaster of the stupid play. After Aang disappeared again, after they both faced their challenges in Azula and Ozai. After the comet ripped through the sky and Aang really, finally stepped in to being the Avatar. After Katara started feeling like she could finally breathe deeply again.
Katara and Aang were sitting near the turtle duck pond. It was decidedly their favorite spot in the palace, first because watching Firelord Zuko chat with turtle ducks was nothing short of endearingly hilarious (Katara had quirked an eyebrow at Aang the first time they saw it - this was really the same guy who sent an assassin after them? she asked wordlessly. To which Aang nodded, with a grin, sure is.)
Second, because the Royal Palace Gardens offered one of the calmest places to talk, rest, or waterbend. While the gang appreciated Zuko's never-ending hospitality, they sometimes needed a break from being in the intimidating palace. The tapestries and heat and luxury and - Ozai-ness - of it all was suffocating, at points, though Zuko had already made great changes in his short time as Firelord.
They were leaving for Ba Sing Se in a couple days, and Katara was surprised how excited she was to be elsewhere - even Ba Sing Se - in spite of the terrible memories.
Katara and Aang sat, dangling their feet in the pond. The silence between them still wasn't completely comfortable, as they'd had barely any time before this to chat on their own. Between Katara helping heal the people's injuries following the battles, Aang being called to countless meetings in the aftermath of Ozai's fall, and the general desire of the gang to stick as closely together as possible after all surviving - well, there hadn't been much time to talk in the way Katara was certain Aang wanted to talk.
But today, Sokka and Suki were doing things she didn't need to know about, Zuko was Firelord-ing with Mai, and Ty Lee was showing Toph how to anticipate chi blocking moves. Finally, it was just Aang and Katara.
It had been a good ten minutes of gentle chatting, feeding the turtle ducks, and silence, when Katara realized she was actually frustrated that Aang hadn't started talking about things yet. She looked at him, but judging by his far-off stare he was apparently entranced by the gardens.
Maybe she had done too good of a job putting distance between them, she thought fretfully as the silence stretched. Maybe Aang fully becoming the Avatar - as much as a thirteen year old could, anyway - had taken him decidedly away from being interested in someone from a tiny, remote village at the edge of the world. She wasn't oblivious to the way guys and girls from all the nations - even the Fire Nation! - had been simpering to get close to Aang in the past few weeks. He could have his pick of probably literally anyone, and who was to say it was still her?
"Katara." Aang was looking at her with concern. It was almost annoying, how well he could read her moods. She took a deep breath.
"Want to practice?" she asked, forcing a smile. Aang shook his head, surprising her. Her stomach fell a bit at the rejection.
"Actually, I've been wanting to talk about something," he replied. Katara started to feel like her insides were buzzing.
"I wanted to say sorry for - for what happened at the play," Aang continued. Katara immediately looked away. She hadn't expected this to be the conversation. "I really don't want to make you uncomfortable again, I just want to apologize. I shouldn't have kissed you. You've been pretty clear about wanting space, and not wanting to talk about - about things." Aang gulped, hoping that his nerves weren't completely mucking this up. "And you were right. I shouldn't have been trying to push our friendship into being something else."
A faint buzzing sound was now ringing in Katara's ears, and it felt like it was getting increasingly louder. Maybe she really had ruined everything, or the possibility of everything.
Aang sighed, noting how uncomfortable Katara looked at even his apology. Monkey feathers, maybe I really did ruin everything. "You feel how you feel, and I feel how I feel. It doesn't have to ruin our friendship. And I've missed talking with you these past weeks, so much." He let a breath out, out, out.
"How you feel?" Katara repeated, hope rising. "How you feel, present tense?"
Aang looked at her with confusion. Had he really not made it clear enough to her? Did she really, actually want to talk about this?
"Do you really want to talk about this?" he asked out loud. Katara looked at him, directly this time, and paused for a minute as if deciding.
"You shouldn't have kissed me at the play," she started. Aang's heartbeat began to speed up, but he willed himself to stay calm. He had told himself a hundred times that even if they did eventually talk, it likely wouldn't go how he hoped. He nodded.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have. You said you were confused, and I didn't listen. Is there anything I can do to help?"
You could kiss me now, Katara thought, but brushed the thought away quickly. There were too many things to get through before they got there. She brought a bit of water from the pond up, forming it into a ball that she passed back and forth between her hands.
"I couldn't concentrate, Aang," she said aloud instead. He gazed at her, unsure where this was going, but listening. Hoping, still.
"It was like - every time we'd practice waterbending, or fly together on Appa, or set up camp, or talk at night -" she thought about a cave, with candlelight and dancing, but didn't voice that part "- it was right. But as soon as I started feeling the least bit peaceful, the least bit like I had room to think about things, and think about you..." Aang's heart soared and he willed himself to stay on the ground. Katara had thought about him, and them - or at least, wanted to.
"Boom." She burst the water out from her hands, earning the reproach and scolding of several nearby turtle ducks. "Boom - the Unagi almost drowns you. Boom - some fanatical general buries me. Boom - Zuko captures you. Literal boom - Combustion Man. Boom - Azula...you fell." Her cheeks were wet with tears, but she didn't care. "Boom - I'm a bloodbender. Boom - my dad is captured. Boom - you disappear." Katara drew a shuddering breath, willing herself to calm down.
Aang reached his hand over to hers, tentatively, softly. "You've saved me, so many times," he started, but Katara shook her head as she clutched his hand.
"That isn't what I'm saying! It was, it was - what about the time I can't? What about the time you can't? I can't lose you, Aang. I can't. And I couldn't see straight or think about anything except you facing Ozai, and Azula still being out there, and us being separated. Again. Forever."
Aang's eyes were shining with tears, too. Was this what love was supposed to be like? Wrapped up with pain, and loss, and sadness. He squeezed her hand as she wiped her tears away. The leaves of the willow tree swayed softly near them, and the sun glinted off the vines of the sliver wisteria trees further away. The silence stretched between them, and Aang thought carefully before speaking.
"When I think about forever," he started, looking again at Katara. "I can't see anything." Katara inhaled sharply, worryingly. "I don't mean like a vision Katara, I mean - when I was younger, I thought the Air Nomads would be here forever. They're gone, now, except for me. I thought the Avatar would be part of this world forever - and the cycle was almost broken, I was almost lost, if it hadn't been for you. When I stopped Ozai, it felt like our terrible connection lasted forever. Like I'd be swallowed up by all his rage and terror." Katara scooted closer to Aang, resting her head on his shoulder. He hadn't shared with anyone, really, what it was like for him to take Ozai's bending away. What it cost him.
Aang warmed at her touch and attempted to lighten the somber mood. "I thought the chutes at Omashu went on forever, and those end very abruptly and painfully, as we were reminded." He smiled, pressing on. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not sure what forever is. I know what there is now, though, and the monks would say that's all we can really have. Now."
Katara nodded, her head still on Aang's shoulder, as she stared at the pond and gardens. Aang hesitated before continuing. Baring his heart had not gone well in the past, and he knew that Katara might well get up and walk away.
"And now," Aang said, "I just want to be with you. I promise I won't leave you if there's anything I can do to prevent it. I'll always come for you, no matter where you are or where I am." Katara lifted her head to look in Aang's eyes, and for maybe the first time the warmth, truth, and admiration she saw there didn't frighten her.
Katara smiled, and Aang swore it was like the sun rising. She intertwined their fingers tightly.
"Okay," she said, her smile growing.
"Okay?" Aang repeated, almost bursting with joy. She was struck by how beautiful he was when he smiled freely.
"I don't trust the universe, but I do trust you. I always have, and I always will," Katara confirmed. "And I want to be with you, now, too." She couldn't believe it could be this simple, after everything.
Aang brought their joined hands up and kissed hers, softly. Katara turned to rest her forehead on his and they lingered there, intertwined.
There would be much more to talk about, more hardships to navigate, more misunderstandings and fights and coming-togethers and questions. More separations and reunions. More kissing, hopefully. But finally, more didn't feel frightening, or overwhelming. It felt - worth it.
"You know, now that we're together," Aang said, pulling back a bit to look deep into Katara's eyes, "I've been thinking."
"Yeah?" she smiled, in anticipation.
"I think I should grow a mustache like Haru. You seem to really go for that facial hair kind of thing." Immediately, Aang was doused with a huge wave of water from the pond.
Aang blinked at her, sputtering. Katara smiled, and then laughed, as Aang airbended himself dry and began to stand, drawing a swirling ball of water out of the pond. The turtle ducks wisely waddled away. She readied herself, pulling her own tendrils of water into her hands.
This was going to be fun.