Chapter Text
It happens in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time.
It happens, but at first Ladybug is so consumed in her own thoughts that she doesn’t realize it’s happening.
In her mind she’s replaying clues dropped in her and Shadowmoth’s earlier exchange, piecing together plans for their awaited ambush, and at her side, Chat sits silently.
(He’s always there, at her side, so much so that she sometimes forgets when he is. This being one of those times.)
His voice is reserved when he finally speaks, not shy because Chat Noir’s voice is never ‘shy’ necessarily, but it is… quiet, in a way that he normally isn’t either. Vulnerable.
“Ladybug.”
Ladybug turns to him but doesn’t say anything. Her mind is still half-whirring towards a solution for her newest plan, but she meets his gaze as if to say: I’m listening.
Chat Noir looks down at his hands. They’re folded in his lap, his fingers twiddling with his ring.
“Are you still gonna take my miraculous if I tell you my identity?”
Ladybug lets out a gust of air and rolls her eyes. For a split second she’d actually been convinced he had something productive to bring up with her.
“This again, Chat?”
(credit)
Her hands are behind her, propping her up, and she lets her head fall back between her shoulder blades. For a moment, it relieves the pounding pressure that’s been building in her head since she became the new guardian. Just another reason why she can’t encourage Chat Noir’s obsession with knowing each other’s identities; he has no idea the toll it takes on her to be the guardian. The last thing she needs is him showing up in her personal life too when there is already too much on her plate.
She lifts her head and sighs.
That isn’t fair. Chat has always been a good friend and if they did - if they could - know each other’s true identities, she’s sure he would be an amazing friend to Marinette as well.
“Listen,” she says, softening her tone, “I don’t like it either, but it’s still too dangerous to know each other’s identities! You have no idea what I’ve -”
“Ladybug.”
(credit)
Chat’s voice cuts in like molten steel.
It’s a tone that Ladybug hasn’t heard him use with her before and so it surprises her into turning to him and -
It feels like smacking into a wall.
Chat is no more than a foot away from her but when their eyes meet, it hits her just how much distance has grown between them. Her heart hiccups out of rhythm, as hearts often do when something feels… wrong.
Chat says, “Do you promise?”
Ladybug doesn’t recognize his eyes. There’s something in them, something guarded and bone-deep, an open wound that she hasn’t noticed until now.
How has she not noticed?
She swallows and says, “What?”
(credit)
Chat twists his ring, eyes lifting to hers. “Do you promise if I tell you my identity, that you’ll take away my miraculous?”
The thought is so viciously unwelcome that rage boils up inside her. Her heartbeat rattles in her throat like a swarm of angry bees.
“You know I’d have to! Why would you even ask me that?”
“Because you make exceptions to the identity rule for people you like. For instance, Alya and Nino,” says Chat, delivering that 180 degree neck-snapping reveal with the same energy one might effortlessly toss a winning Ace onto a felt poker table.
Ladybug is too busy gawking at him to even attempt to compile a response, but Chat doesn’t seem interested in one. It’s like he can’t get the words out fast enough, like they’re rehearsed and he’s worked himself up to saying them so that as soon as they’re out, he can be done.
“And while you might not like me,” Chat continues, like this isn’t a question but a deduction he’s come to on his own which is worse, “I think you like my civilian persona. You’ve given me a miraculous before and I need you to promise that once you learn my identity, you will never give me another miraculous again.”
It’s too much to take in at one time. She can’t begin to think of who she gave a miraculous to that could be Chat Noir’s civilian persona and she doesn’t know how he learned about Alya and Nino’s identities or how her and his relationship has gotten to this point without her realizing and -
There’s not enough time.
(credit)
“So you accidentally cataclysmed something you shouldn’t have,” she throws her hands up, as if postponing this will keep it from happening, “It isn’t the first or last time that’s going to happen. We just have to get better at preventing it!”
“That isn’t what this is about, Ladybug.” The space between Chat’s brows crumple in frustration, before all of his agitation crests and in an instance he’s deflating, the fight just rushing out of him. He looks down. “It doesn’t matter…”
He’s pulling his ring off. She’s out of time.
“Chat,” her eyes widen and she reaches, “Wait -”
“I renounce you, Plagg.” The ring comes off and Chat Noir is overtaken in a burst of green-white light.
Ladybug gasps and throws her hands up over her eyes to shield her from seeing his secret identity, and hears the soft sound of him setting his miraculous box down beside her.
“It’s no use, Milady, I’ll just tell you my real name. I have to be sure you won't give me another miraculous, and you can’t promise that without knowing my true identity.”
“Don’t do this!” Ladybug begs, “We can’t go back if we find out each other’s identities!”
“I don’t want to go back,” Chat’s voice is farther away, both in distance and tone. Ladybug’s chin wobbles as she holds back tears, hands trembling over her eyes. “I want to move on. I’m leaving Paris.”
Ladybug gasps and she almost opens her eyes - almost.
“Chat Noir,” she sobs, “Don't.”
“My name’s not Chat Noir,” he says and that’s when she knows it’s coming. She wants to leap up and swing off the side of the building but even then she might still hear him, and the truth was that she has to know. “My name is Adrien Agreste.”
Ladybug chokes on a sob. It’s like the opposite of falling in love. Her heart rips from her chest as she tears her hands off her face. It eviscerates to shreds at her feet when her eyes land on Adrien.
On Adrien.
Adrien.
She can’t breathe.
He’s standing at the window of the balcony they’re on, ready to climb down, turned to gaze back at her for the last time, smiling sadly and looking tragically, heart-achingly beautiful.
“I still believe in this team. I believe in you,” he says, looking at her the same way he had before stepping into the car that night he left New York. “You’ve chosen every member of your team but Chat Noir, and I won’t drag you down anymore. Even when you tried giving me the snake miraculous -” he doesn’t finish that sentence, instead trailing off, turning away, shrugging. “I’m the only piece that doesn’t fit, Milady.”
She wants to tell him he’s wrong. Wants to scream it at him. But nothing comes out. Her voice won’t work. She’s still trying to look at Adrien Agreste and make sense of the fact that he’s been the boy she’s fought along side for the past year, and who’s affections she’d fought off tooth and claw.
She feels, resolutely, like throwing up. She feels bottomlessly empty.
Adrien’s eyes drop, “Goodbye, Ladybug,” and he climbs back in through the window.
“Adrien,” she says, voice weak and wobbly and too quiet, “Please.”
But it’s too late.
Chat Noir is gone.