Chapter Text
Ladybug’s earrings beeped,indicating that she was about to de-transform soon. She looked at the lucky charm in her hand which was a water pipe, with no clue on what to do. She was hidden in an alley with an injured Chat Noir. Chat Noir had taken a hit on his shoulder and it pained him if he moved his arm. Fortunately for him,the suit absorbed most of the damage, leaving with just pain.
“I don't know what to do. I’m so useless” Ladybug cried with her voice cracking as she helplessly dropped the pipe and slumped down. She finally allowed her tears to fall and kicked the pipe away in frustration. Chat Noir stared at her for a moment and then moved forward.
“Ladybug, come on, you can do anything. I know you can do this.” He tried to comfort her and put his working hand over her shoulders.
“That’s the thing, Chat. People expect so much from me and I don't want to disappoint them, especially you. They believe in me, I want to believe in myself too. But sometimes, these things are too hard. People forget I’m just a teenager, trying to live her life.” She sobbed in hands and Chat had nothing to say.
It was true. People expect the superhero pair to be able to do everything. Several people have ever protested that Ladybug and Chat Noir were good for nothing. It has been over 3 years and Hawkmoth hasn’t been captured yet. People like those made Chat’s blood boil. Only on Ladybug’s plea, he decided to ignore them. But it was only a matter of time…
“Hey Lb,look. You don't have to do everything alone. That’s why you have a partner. Me!” He pointed his thumb at himself with an injured arm,trying his best to not scream in pain.
“Thanks, Chat. I need that.” Ladybug sniffed and got up and picked her lucky charm as her earrings beeped again.
“Now,” She turned around to face Chat before leaving to fight. “Don't do anything stupid. Or else..” she warned. Chat laughed and promised to stay where he was and watched his lady leave.
He winced as moved his hand let out a soft yowl, letting go of all the pain, hurt, anger, fear, anxiety and confusion he had held back. He was alone. Ladybug always promised to be there but due guardian duties, she was very busy and barely attended patrols. He was lonely, without his Lady, without his mother, without his father’s love, without his friends understanding him. He was all alone in this world.
He barely cried out but today his father had lashed out his anger onto him, calling him a brat and ungrateful child and a line that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
“I wished it had been you instead of her.”
Adrien knew who he was being referred to. His mother. He was often compared to her, being told how he shared her emerald green eye and his kind nature. But this….this was different.
He hated his dad.
He gave him time to mourn,grieve and heal. But apparently 2 years hadn’t been enough for him. His father had gotten enough time. Adrien just had to accept that he wasn’t going to change. He won’t change, then Adrien won’t waste his time trying to make him change.
Gabriel made Adrien wake up at 4, just to make him do more stupid photoshoots and left little to no time to enjoy with his friends. He pointed out silly mistakes in the shoots,making them redo the shoots and kept scheduling fencing classes and interviews to keep him busy. Adrien had gotten so busy, he didn’t have time to go to school.
Adrien had no idea why he obeyed every order of his father but he felt compelled to do so. Like it was his life purpose. To obey his dad and become a living corpse. Just like him.
Chat didn’t notice the pain in his shoulder disappearing, showing that Ladybug had succeeded. He had too much emotional pain to handle to notice anything. Including the fact Ladybug had come back to check on him.
“Minou?” She asked timidly after finding her cat on his knees and he was looking at the floor. He perked up upon hearing her voice and Ladybug saw tears drying on his face and the face of someone in great pain.
“Chat, are you ok?” Ladybug asked him again, not wanting to press him. All she wanted to do was help him like he had helped her.
“I am fine. Just some shameful secrets.” he muttered. They both stood where they were, not wanting to leave but not wanting to say anything.
Chat Noir’s ring beeped, making them both jump. Chat was confused. He hadn’t used his power so why did his ring show he did.
“Um,Chat..?” Ladybug looked behind him. Chat did the same and he saw that dust had replaced what once had been a dustbin.
“I..i don’t remember doing that.” Chat admitted and Ladybug sighed.
“I believe you.” She announced. “But it looks like your emotions got the best of you. Try calming down. What’s wrong?” She sat next to him and just Chat opened his mouth to speak, his ring rang, reminding to move.
“Sorry Lb. I’m running out of time.” He apologized to her and Ladybug hung her. She did not recharge Tikki just for Chat to escape again from talking.
“Fine. But we’re talking on patrol and you are not running off again.” She glared at him and he grinned at her in answer and took off. The grin felt so fake.
Ladybug let out another sigh. Chat has been so hard to talk to lately and every time she cornered him, all he let out, “Shameful secrets” or “I’m running out of time.” Those had literally all he said at the time and let her alone. Again like everyone else.
She was tired of all these secrets but her fears always got the best of her.
She kept seeing blue eyes and a white suit instead of the usual green and black in her imagination and she always kept shutting down the idea of identity reveals.
She knew Chat was hurting but she wouldn’t burden him with this knowledge for it would crush. And she would lose him forever in the midst of pain and self-loath. And she would be alone again.
But even she knew that time was running out fast.
One day she’d have to tell him about it. She can’t keep this big of a secret from him. One day she’d have to answer his questions.
Shameful secrets indeed.