Chapter Text
“Jungkook.” Yoongi said. “Why, in the name of Merlin, is there a huge ass summoning circle in the middle of your living room?”
Jungkook jumped at Yoongi’s voice, falling on his ass and knocking over a paint can in the process. The can clattered and rolled, sending up an arc of red paint that fell around the slate floor in crisscrossing lines and droplets.
“Hyuuuung, you made me mess up my mural!” Jungkook wined, trying to rub away the spilled paint. He frowned at the mess, then jerked his head up. ‘YAH! WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN MY HOUSE? I HAD LIKE, TWELVE LOCKING CHARMS ACTIVATED!”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, still standing next to Jungkook’s front door. “And they were all shit.”
“Twelve, Yoongi! It took me forever to put those up after last time you broke in.”
“Maybe if you were a better witch, you’d know if you just used an Amizpi charm, I couldn’t get in. How many times do I have to tell you it’s the only one that can’t be countered?”
“But that uses frog toes! Frog toes are nasty.”
Yoongi scoffed and walked closer, taking in the near-crime scene Jungkook had created in his home. Jungkook had pushed aside all the furniture of his living room and dumped his rug into the corner in a crumpled heap. The various spellbooks that normally littered his floor were now piled on his couch, along with all the “knick-knacks” Jungkook had picked up from street vendors. Yoongi was pretty sure those knick-knacks were all actually cursed artifacts, and really wished Jungkook would put them on a shelf or lock them up or at least sink them into the bottom of the ocean, instead of leaving them strewn around his house like throw pillows.
But now that was all shoved to the side, and the black stone tile of Jungkook’s floor was instead dominated by a huge painting, spanning nine feet across. Jungkook had used white bone paint to draw three concentric circles, and a pentagram in the middle connecting them. He’d even gone through the trouble of painting sigils describing the ancient war and immortal beings along the perimeter. Worst of all, in each point of the center pentagram were octograms, each octagram dominated by an ancient Enochian symbol written in red. Yoongi’s Enochian was rusty, since had little use for the language of the demos. But he was pretty sure that three of those sigils said awaken, soul, and tether. The last two were near-illegible, now covered by the spilled paint.
“Isn’t it pretty, hyung?” Jungkook asked. He was kneeling next to his unholy creation, his robes absolutely ruined by how much paint he had managed to smear on himself.
“You drew a high-level dark summoning circle. In your home, the place where you live and sleep and I have the displeasure of entering.”
“No one told you to come!”
“I came because I had a premonition that you were doing something horrible.” Yoongi frowned back down at the circle. “And I was right. Since when did you go through so much effort for magic? You’re too lazy to cast an Amizpi charm but you pull this?”
“I saw it on a Pinterest board so I thought it would be pretty to paint on my floor! I’m not actually gonna use it hyung, it’s just decoration!”
“Ah yes, when I’m over visiting my beloved friends, it sure gives me the warm fuzzies to know that while i’m drinking my tea, there’s a hellish summoning circle at my feet that can be used to summon monsters and all the unholy beings you find the secret names of on the internet—”
“Hyung, you’re just being dramatic.”
“I’m not being dramatic, Jungkook! You need to remove this immediately. This is beyond unsafe, making a summoning ring was so insane, I can’t even believe you thought for a second that this would be a good idea!”
“I told you it’s just a mural!”
“YOU HAVING A FUCKING DEMON SUMMONING CIRCLE ON YOUR FLOOR, JUNGKOOK!”
“I FOUND IT ON PINTEREST!”
“That’s it,” Yoongi said, rolling up his sleeves. “If you’re not going to erase it, I will.” He started to draw symbols in the air with his fingers, muttering Magia under his breath. The pockets of air he dragged his hands though became illuminated with streaks of blue light that swirled together, centralizing into a blue beam directed at the summoning circle. Yoongi took out a satchel of dried berries from his pocket, and shook out three elderberries into his palm, putting them on his tongue. Once he chewed, and then spoke the cleansing charm with those berries on his breath it would activate the blue beam he casted, erasing the summoning circle as if it had never existed.
Jungkook stumbled to his feet, threw out his hand, and shouted, “Ordon cephe!” The ivory ring around his pinkie finger illuminated purple, and then Yoongi was hurled against the wall. His cleansing beam evaporated. The berries froze mid-air, shattering as they hit the floor. Yoongi sat crumpled against the wall, coughing, ice shards forming from his breath.
“What the fuck Jungkook. Did you just use a freezing attack on me?”
“It was the quickest.”
“Only because you have that godforsaken cursed ring—”
“It was a gift! Look, I’m sorry hyung. Are you okay?”
Yoongi coughed some more, glaring. His lips were blueing. “I will be. And then I’ll fucking kill you.”
“No you won’t,” Jungkook chirped, helping Yoongi to his feet. “If you kill me, you can’t harass me about being a bad witch, and then how will you spend your time?”
“Oh I don’t know, running my business?” Yoongi sighed. “You’re not a bad witch, Jungkook. You’re naturally talented, but so incredibly lazy and undisciplined it gives me hives. If you were any more powerful I think I’d fear for my safety. Fuck, I already do that. I’d fear for the entire city’s safety.”
“Aw, thanks hyung!” Jungkook grinned. “That means a lot.”
“That wasn’t a compliment.” Yoongi shoved Jungkook’s hands off him, feeling the ice the young witch had blasted into his mouth fade away. “But this is exactly why you can’t keep a summoning circle in your living room. It’s dangerous, but especially dangerous around you.”
“Aww, are you saying you’re only worried because I’m so powerful?”
Yoongi scowled.
Jungkook bounced on the balls of his feet. “If you say I’m a powerful witch, I’ll clean the summoning circle up myself, hyung.”
Yoongi glared.
“And I’ll help you clean up the baby drake dung at the magic shop tomorrow~”
“Fine. That’s what I’m saying.”
“Noooo I want to hear you say the whole thing!”
Yoongi grimaced. The words looked like they hurt on their way out. “You’re powerful, Jungkook. So please erase that godforsaken summoning circle.”
Jungkook threw back his head and cackled. “Oh, this is too good! I wish I casted a voice catcher so I could’ve kept that. ‘You’re powerful, Jungkook.’ Do you mind saying that again? I wanna save it and make it my doorbell tone.”
Yoongi growled. “Just clean up the ring.”
Jungkook flapped his hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. I will, hyung.”
“I’m serious.”
“I am too! It doesn’t really match my curtains anyway.”
Yoongi sighed like a pregnant slugbull had been lifted off his shoulders. Then an orb zoomed in through the window, softly pulsing with orange light. It smelled like the crushed fir and juniper that had been used to cast it. Inside the orb was Jin’s face.
“Heey, Yoongi. You’re not busy, right?” Jin, his face and voice projecting through the orb, turned and saw Jungkook next to Yoongi. “Oh Kookie! What’s up?”
“Heyo hyung!” Jungkook waved. “Love the orb. Super pretty.”
“God I know, right? You can't beat the aromatherapy. Better than FaceTime, I’d say. Plus, I forgot how to turn on my phone—”
“Jin.” Yoongi interrupted. “Why did you call.”
“Oh!” Jin smiled. “The shop’s flooded.”
“The shop’s what?” Yoongi croaked.
“Yeah this witch came in, dropped one of the jars that summons Ag Uls Lake— you know, our birthday special? Yeah, and worst of all, they didn’t even pay for it—”
“THEY SUMMONED AG ULS LAKE INTO OUR SHOP?”
“Well they dropped it,” Jin corrected. “They dropped the lake.” It was clear now that he was up to his chin in green, sea-serpent infested water.
“I can’t believe they didn’t pay for the jar.” Jungkook shook his head.
“This is absurd,” Yoongi said. He pulled a metal vial from his breast pocket, uncorking it with his teeth and pouring the pink liquid at his feet. His fingers danced with lightning speed, conjuring a transportation charm that ignited the liquid, making it glow and dance upwards in a tendril. “This is the second flood this Spring—a goddamn lake—can’t leave Jin alone for one second—” Pops of red light cracked out from the liquid, creating a portal ringed with tiny bolts of lightning that quickly enshrouded Yoongi. “My last transportation charm, wasted on this.” Yoogni muttered.
“And here you were, worried about my decor.” Jungkook smirked.
Yoongi jabbed a finger toward the young witch. “That’s still a fucking hazard. I have to go save the magic shop, but when I come back, I want that summoning circle gone, Jungkook!”
Jungkook winked and saluted him. “Aye aye, captain. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you this time.”
“And don’t think I forgot about your promise to clean up the drake dung!” Yoongi disappeared, the red cloud of the portal surrounding him and then transporting him away a boom of thunder.
Jungkook turned back to his summoning circle, alone once again. “Clean this up. Fine. Easy! Easy as two-tail pie,” He put his hands on his hips looking around the room. “Where the hell did I put those cleansing berries?” Jungkook went over to his couch, rustling through his piles of books and trinkets.
There was a brass monkey with ruby eyes he felt uncomfy looking into. A miniature tree that grew without any nutrients, that always made him laugh uncontrollably when he touched it. And a long metal staff with a pinecone at the top. He wasn’t sure if that did anything.
But as far as he knew, none of those objects were qaa-amma, materials that could be used to perform magic. Which meant they were useless, because witches couldn’t cast a spell out of thin air. All the fancy spells in the world couldn’t do squat unless those words were paired with the right qaa-amma. And right now, the qaa-amma Jungkook really needed were elderberries.
“But like… could I just use any berries?” Jungkook hummed, opening up his fridge. “Blackberries. No, those are only good for like, depuffing your face. Ooh, pomegranate seeds!” Pomegranate seeds were used in a lot of spells that had to do with apparition. Cleaning was pretty much the same, right?
He took out the pomegranate seeds and walked back at the summoning circle, sitting criss cross outside its perimeter. “I’m a powerful witch anyway!” Jungkook hummed, popping the seeds into his mouth and chewing. “I bet I could make it work.”
Then the splattered paint that had landed in the octograms caught his eye. “Huh?” Junkook cocked his head to the side. “Yo these kind of ended up looking like Enochian sigils! Oh my god, I’m such an artist.” He tried to sound it out.
“Bah… bage. Babage! That means south. Okay, what would this be. Lan? Lansh? Fuck, what did Lansh mean again?” Jungkook mentally kicked himself for the times he hadn’t studied the Enochian alphabet better in witching school. He sorely needed practice. But hey, what better way to practice, than the Pinterest summoning sigils?
“Alright, what do the rest of these say, anyway? Niis. Easy. Niis babage lansh. Oroch. God, I forgot the meaning of like, all of these. Con. Congam… what the fuck. Congamphlgh? That can’t be right.” Jungkook leaned closer, squinting. “Niis babage lansh oroch congamphlgh. Man does that not roll easy off the tongue.”
Jungkook stood so he could better cast the cleansing spell, popping more pomegranate seeds into his mouth. He picked up the metal rod with the pinecone, and twisted it absentmindedly, bouncing it on his shoulder. “Niis babage lansh oroch congamphlgh. Niis babage lansh oroch congamphlgh. Suck it, Yoongi! Niis babage lansh oroch congamphlgh!”
Suddenly the room shook and Jungkook was thrown back, the rod and pomegranate seeds scattering to the floor. thick black smoke erupted from the summoning circle, billowed up to the ceiling and falling down around him in columns, suffocating him. Through tearing eyes, Jungkook saw the center of the pentagram erupt in red flames, a low, mangled beast huddled in the middle.
“Merlin’s balls,” Jungkook croaked. He had summoned a demon. He’d never met a demon before, but Jin always said they were feral, mindless creature that only knew how to kill and torture poor, too-handsome-for-their-own-good witches like Jin (and Jungkook). And oh, Merlin— if Jungkook somehow managed to survive whatever he’d just summoned, Yoongi would finish the job and kill him slowly and horribly himself. Jungkook gripped his freezing attack ring close, and scrambled back until he hit the wall.
The smoke dissipated, revealing a long black tail that whipped behind the creature. It was the trademark tail of demons, and its pointed end gleamed in the light of Jungkook’s living room, so sharp it made whistling sounds just flicking back and forth in the air.
Jungkook swallowed as the flames died down. What would the rest of the demon look like? Could it attack him from inside the summoning circle?
But when the flames disappeared, the blood-skinned, yellow toothed creature Jungkook was expecting wasn’t there. In fact, all he saw was a man, sitting cross-legged in the summoning circle, peering down at a leather bound book through wire glasses. The demon looked up and met Jungkook’s eyes.
“Huh?” They both said, simultaneously.
Jungkook looked around, trying to find the creature that the tail was attached to. ”Where’s the demon?”
The man looked scandalized. “I beg your pardon?”
Jungkook twirled his finger. “Yanno. Demon? The creature that tail should be attached to.”
Flames erupted around the circle again. “You did not just call me a creature.”
“Uhh.” The two stared at each other, one thoroughly annoyed, the other thoroughly confused. FInally Jungkook clapped his hand over his mouth. “Ohhhh! You’re the demon!”
The demon rolled his eyes while Jungkook nodded vigorously. “And the whole human thing is a disguise. Got it man, got it. But hey, do you take constructive criticism? Cause the tail kinda gives it away. Also, I would’ve chosen to be a better looking human if I were you.”
The demon snapped his book shut with a cold, tight lipped smile. “If I didn't know this was a hallucination prank,” he said, “I would skewer you repeatedly until you disintegrate into miniscule pieces, you pathetic excuse for a witch.”
Jungkook gasped, scandalized.
The demon sighed and got to his feet. “And I must say… As annoying as you are, you’re still far too boring of a hallucination to be used on the humans,” He put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Good set design though. Nice details. Horrible decor really adds to it.”
“This is my home,” Jungkook squawked.
The demon waved his hand dismissively. “Right,” He snapped his fingers. “Hoseok! Hoseok, get your skinny tail over here. The prank’s over. How many times do I have to tell you not to test your hallucination punishments on your superiors?” The demon crossed his arms and tapped his foot, waiting. “Where is that bat-brain?”
“Uh, I don’t think—”
“This is idiotic. Hobi!” The demon took a step forward, and his foot made contact with the white borders of the pentagram. The entire summoning circle lit blue and a white shock jumped up the demon’s leg, electrocuting him.
The demon shouted and stepped back. His eyes widened as he looked down at the summoning circle. “No,” he whispered.
“Oh thank McGonagall,” Jungkook said.
“No, this isn’t real.” The demon put his foot on the white border over and over again, getting shocked over and over again.
“Jeez dude, are you like a masochist or something?”
The demon looked up and saw the pine cone staff Jungkook had been holding, now on the floor resting against the couch. “The Thyrsus,” he gaped. That should’ve been destroyed—” The demon lunged forward toward Jungkook, suddenly angry. “Who are you! Hoseok never knew the Thyrsus is the qaa-amma that summons me! How did you know?”
Jungkook scrambled to his feet, holding up his hands, “Look man, I don’t even know what you're talking about!”
“The Thyrsus, idiot, the Thyrsus!” The demon gestures wildly at the metal pinecone. “Even if Hoseok conjured his best hallucination magic to prank me into thinking I got summoned, he still couldn’t have known to include that.”
Jungkook finally saw what he was talking about. “Th-that thing? I don’t know what to tell you man. It’s just decoration, but sometimes I use it as a back scratcher. I got it from some street vendor? I traded three mangoes for it— “Oh my god. Is that how I summoned you?”
The demon’s tail flicked angrily, flame erupting around him again. “I can’t believe… the first time I've been summoned in centuries, and it’s by a fool.”
Jungkook ignored him, mind racing. “And the spilled paint! The Enochian I was trying to read! That’s your name, isn’t it? Babage Lansh!”
A red fireball appeared in the demon’s palm, and he lobbed it at Jungkook’s head. Jungkook ducked, but the fireball didn’t even reach him, instead hitting an invisible force field at the edge of the summoning circle and dissolving.
“What the hell, man!” Jungkook shrieked, arms still in front of his face.
“Don’t worry,” The demon smiled. “If this is real, and you’re really the one who summoned me, I can’t hurt you.”
“THEN WHY’D YOU THROW A FIREBALL AT ME?”
The demon shrugged. “Couldn’t help it. Especially when that was the worst pronunciation of my name I’ve heard in years.”
“Then how am I supposed to say it?”
The demon opened his mouth and made a series of gurgling clicking sounds that sounded incredibly inhuman to Jungkook.
“Okay, um. Don’t think I can do that. Do you go by anything else?”
“I am also known as,” The demon spoke a series of hisses and rumbles, equally inhuman and unsettling. “As well as,” He began to hum and growl simultaneously.
“Wait, wait, shut up!”
Fire ignited at the demon’s feet again. “You dare interrupt me—”
“No, no, listen! Do you hear that?” Jungkook rushed to his window and pulled back his curtain. A very wet Yoongi was ambling up the stone path to his house.
“Fuck!” Jungkook snapped the curtains shut. He whirled around. “Look, Babage, I’m gonna need you to like, go back to Hell.”
A wry laugh. “Oh, I intend to.”
“Immediately would be great.”
The demon crossed his arms. “You do know I can’t leave this summoning circle until you make your soul-request, right? And even then, I can’t return to Hell until it is fulfilled.”
Jungkook gripped his hair. “What are you, a genie? I have to make a wish?”
“Something like that,” The demon said, now smiling. “Ask for anything.”
“And what, you’ll twist it, make it awful? Steal my soul?”
The demon shrugged, sitting back down and picking up his book. “You’re a ‘powerful’ witch, right? You should know that yourself. But I’d say you have about thirty seconds before your friend comes through that door.”
“AUGH,” Jungkook fell to his knees crawling up to the demon. “But what if once I make my wish, you just kill me, and drag my soul back to Hell?”
“I told you,” the demon said, turning a page. “I can’t hurt you. Once you make your soul request, I can only use my powers to help you complete it.”
“Jungkook!” Yoongi called from the witch’s gate.
“Alright. I’ll just ask you to disappear.”
The demon raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to waste your request on that? You can ask for literally anything. World domination, a thousand lovers, anything.”
“Uh, a job?”
The eyebrow raised higher.
“Okay a sick job, alright? That I love. Is that good enough for you?”
“Jungkook? I’m coming in!” Yoongi called. “Don’t fucking complain about me breakin in this time!”
The demon held out his hand. “A job it is. I just need your name to bind the contract.”
“My name?” Jungkook squeaked. “Contract?”
The sound of Yoongi’s feet crunching on the gravel in front Jungkook’s door filled the silence.
“Up to you.” the demon smiled.
“Alright, fuck, do it!” Jungkook took the demon’s hand. “My name is Jung Jungkook! Let’s make a deal, or whatever!”
The demon’s eyes glowed red as he gripped Jungkook’s hand, nails digging into Jungkook’s skin. “Here’s to a brilliant career, Jungkook.”
The front door opened, and Yoongi stepped into the house.