Work Text:
“You care about him,” Lexa had said to her in a moment alone.
“I care about all of them,” she replied; because it was true. The 100 were her people, and she would be damned if any of them were gone.
“But him more than others,” Lexa spoke once more.
And it was like a ray of clarity had hit her; because it was true. She cared so much about her people in the mountain that she was willing to go to extreme consequences to keep them alive. But for Bellamy she would give her life. For him she would do things that she never would have considered before.
‘Who we want to be, and who we need to be are two very different things.’
And those words had never rung more true than they had in the last few days. She had done terrible, terrible things, that she only accepted because it meant getting Bellamy back. In another life she never would have considered letting her own people die by a missile. She would never have killed as many people as she had, nor would she have thought she would be leading two armies of people willing to fight by her and for her.
For Bellamy, she would have fought everyone and anyone who stood in her way to bring him back safely.
And in that moment it had hit her.
She loved him. She loved him more she had ever loved another person who was not related to her. He had fought beside her and helped her through all the rough moments in the beginning of their camp days.
He balanced her out, together like a yin and yang. When one of them was experiencing darkness, the other would be there to help them through it, and be there for them despite it all.
And she really needed him right now.
She could see the ways others were looking at her; her mother, Octavia, like she had lost a part of her humanity. And maybe she had. It was very possible that there would be nothing that would ever redeem her after all of this was over. And she would be able to live with that as long as Bellamy and their people were alive.
She couldn’t comprehend what she would do if they died. If she lost Bellamy, or any other of her friends, she wasn’t quite sure what would happen to her. She didn’t want all of it to have been in vain.
So when Lexa had called her out on it, she tried to deny it, she really did. Because she couldn’t possibly care for him the way Lexa had thought. But the more she thought about it, the more she really analyzed it, the more she knew that Lexa was right.
She cared for Bellamy.
It was the kind of love which would launch ships to fight a war.
(Even her metaphors had turned into something Bellamy would appreciate)
Part of her wanted to laugh at the situation, but she supposed she was too far into the darkness for that.
And when Bellamy came through, and disabled the acid fog, she knew he was alive. He had come through for all of them, and he had managed not to get killed.
She felt her heart soar as she knew that she would be joining him very soon as they got ALL their people out of Mount Weather; because she would be damned if she lost anyone else after coming so far and fighting so hard. She had given up enough during this battle, and she would not lose anyone else.
She would get all her people back. And she would get Bellamy back.