Work Text:
The first time Gibbs found Tobias in the bullpen after hiring DiNozzo, Gibbs knew there would be trouble.
The FBI agent sat fiddling with his phone in DiNozzo’s chair, ankles crossed and propped on the desk’s surface like he owned the place, and Gibbs instinctively hoped the younger man would be late for work so Gibbs wouldn’t have to deal with the tantrum he knew the ex-cop would throw. While hiring the Italian was still appearing to be a good idea, Gibbs was aware that the younger agent was, at times, exceedingly specific – and odd – about his personal boundaries.
Step into his personal space, get into his face, and he would laugh it off. Hell, the constant head-slaps that Gibbs found himself dolling out seemed to amuse the younger man more than anything else. However, anyone who was not DiNozzo sitting at DiNozzo’s desk was a big, BIG, no-no. Not even Gibbs got away with it the one time he tried. The bullpen was only now beginning to recover from the sub-zero temperatures of the Italian’s resulting glare.
“What do you want, Fornell?” Gibbs asked, hoping to get the FBI senior agent the hell out of the building as soon as possible.
Fornell glanced at Gibbs before looking back down at his phone; the keys beeping as he rapidly pressed buttons. “Hold on, Gibbs. This is important.”
Gibbs glared but shook his head as he walked past DiNozzo’s desk to his own. He dropped his bag onto the floor beside the filing cabinet and booted up his computer. While the black screen slowly came to life, he watched the other man fiddle with the object in his hands some more, grimacing at something on the screen before sighing and pressing one last button.
“Heard you have a new probie,” Fornell said, restarting the rapid jabs of his thumbs over his phone’s keypad.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “And you’ve come to pay your respects?”
“You know how it is… stop by, say how cute they are when really they’re all squished and cone-headed.”
Fornell grinned and waved a brown bag in the air with one hand, his eyes still on the screen. “Brought a present for the tike and everything!”
While Gibbs’ gut instinct was to laugh, he pushed it down and scowled. “Fornell… that’s no way to talk. You forget I saw Emily before you took her home.”
“Hey,” Fornell pointed a finger. “Not a word on my kid. She may have been a little wrinkled but she was adorable.”
“Oh god, you spawned?”
Both men turned to look at DiNozzo, standing in the walkway in front of the elevator, the Italian’s face twisted into a look of pure discomfort. While Gibbs’ was grateful that the younger man had listened to his advice about finding a wardrobe that fit between the extremes of expensive suits and jeans with tube socks, the slicked-back hair and stupid gold necklaces that set both the metal detectors and other Senior Field Agents off seemed to, unfortunately, be a permanent fixture.
Fornell’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at the younger man disbelievingly, his mouth flapping like a fish before he collected enough of his wits to blurt out, “Oh god, you’re a fed now?” in an equally dismayed tone.
Gibbs’ other eyebrow climbed of its own accord to meet its partner and he looked from one man to the other. “I take it you’ve met?”
Fornell snapped his still gaping mouth shut before he grimaced, caught out in front of the marine. He nodded just as DiNozzo stalked his way to his desk, stopping in front of it and glared down at the FBI’s shoes disdainfully. Fornell followed the taller male’s gaze and seemed to pale briefly before he jerked his feet down and off the wooden surface in a quick motion that sent the seat of the computer chair tipping forwards to smack down into its normal position.
DiNozzo growled, a low quiet sound that had Gibbs insanely wondering if he should be wearing a cup. Fornell seemed to be thinking the same thing because he stood and calmly stepped out from behind the younger man’s desk, allowing the new agent to claim his rightful spot behind the workstation. They both watched as the still-standing DiNozzo examined his desk, his hands moving to gently nudge his stapler or a pen in one direction or another, back to their original positions, before wiping the seat of his chair with a Kleenex.
“DiNutzo.” Fornell greeted stiffly.
DiNozzo threw the tissue away and turned his gaze to the FBI agent. “Toby.”
Gibbs winced, knowing Fornell hated the nickname with a vengeance.
Fornell narrowed his eyes in annoyance. “Rent-a-cop.”
“Feebie.” DiNozzo shot back coolly.
The space around the two men thickened into something cold and impenetrable before suddenly disappearing as DiNozzo rounded his desk, sweeping the FBI agent into a hug. Fornell barked out a short laugh and slapped DiNozzo’s back, pushing him an arm’s length away to look at him.
Gibbs watched in dawning horror as the two men began chatting to one another amicably, like old friends, both moving to take places at DiNozzo’s desk; DiNozzo behind it and Fornell on the corner where his feet had been.
“Damn! They told me you made it, but they wouldn’t say anything else!” DiNozzo grinned up at the older agent. “I should have known. You’d survive the apocalypse with the cockroaches and fucking twinkies.”
“What about you? What the hell did you have to do for them to let you into an agency?” Fornell pursed his lips thoughtfully. “This is NCIS, never mind.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” DiNozzo asked, straightening in his chair.
“They’ll let anyone in.” Fornell waved a hand. He leaned forward and whispered loudly, motioning at Gibbs as he did so. “Perfect example right there.”
DiNozzo laughed and Fornell joined in, making Gibbs feel like he stepped into the twilight zone… or a fucking minefield filled with FBIs and Italian Cops. Gibbs felt his stomach drop and rebel at the notion of the two men in front of him becoming BFFs or whatever the hell God wanted to label this potential traumatization.
“Enough!” He barked.
Both men quieted immediately and looked over at Gibbs for a long moment before Fornell turned back to DiNozzo. He grabbed a sticky note and jotted something down before sticking the note onto DiNozzo’s monitor.
“Let me know when you pass your six month probation. There’s a standing offer for a place on my team.”
“Six months?” DiNozzo raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, interested. “What position?”
“Basic junior agent, but with your qualifications I could swing SFA after training.”
“Really?” DiNozzo looked Gibbs over and turned back to Fornell with a nod. “Thanks, I’ll think about it.”
Fornell grinned and DiNozzo tipped his head thoughtfully.
“You don’t hit your agents, do you?” He pointed at Gibbs. “He likes to smack me around.”
The FBI agent shook his head. “No, Gibbs just likes being an asshole.”
“Okay, good to know.”
“So where are you staying? You have an apartment?”
“I found a few I can afford, but I don’t like the neighborhoods. There are a few that might be opening up in a month or so, but until then I’m stuck at the hotel.”
Fornell scoffed. “That won’t do, your savings will be gone quicker than Gibbs’ coffee. I’d let you stay with me and Diane, but my kid’s a night-time screamer.”
“Yeah…” DiNozzo hedged. “I’m not that big into kids.”
“Understandable,” Fornell nodded. “…can’t help it if you want to smack them when they’re not yours. Give me a minute to think about it.”
“Fornell,” Gibbs started, a bit horrified at the turn of events.
“Not now, Gibbs.” Fornell waved him off and began to push buttons on his phone again. “This is important.”
DiNozzo leaned forward to look at Fornell’s screen and broke out into a wide smile. “Is that Tetris-Ultimate?”
“Yep.”
“I’ve been looking for that for ages!”
“Comes on the new ones.”
“Cool!”
“HEY!” Gibbs yelled, making the two men look at him in surprise.
Fornell frowned before a scheming smirk overtook his face. He turned back to DiNozzo, picking back up without missing a beat.
“You can’t stay in a hotel for another month until a good apartment opens up.”
DiNozzo sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting back in his seat. “I know.”
“There a coworker you can stay with?”
The younger man shook his head. “I don’t know Doctor Mallard well enough, and Abby fucking hates me.”
Fornell nodded in commiseration before suddenly making a happy noise and patting DiNozzo’s cheek. He grinned and motioned his head at Gibbs. “I know! You can stay with Gibbs!”
“Really?” DiNozzo asked happily before frowning. “He’s my boss though.”
“Nah, it’s fine. It’s his fault you’re living in a hotel anyway. It’s the least he can do.”
Gibbs felt his brain implode and slowly sunk down into his chair, resting his head in his hands as he listened to the other two make plans to move DiNozzo’s things into Gibbs’ spare room that night.
“I mean, I can’t stand you, kid, but it’s the least I can do after you helping me out with the Macalusos.”
“Thanks Fornell, that means a lot.”
“You two…” Gibbs said wearily, looking up at the other two. “Are not allowed to be in the same room. Ever. Again.”