HallowHare



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    “See if you can pull out exactly nine inches,” Harris had said, nodding to the tape measure in his hand.

    Shane was the last one to give it a shot. He hummed and knitted his eyebrows together in concentration. His first instinctual pull had reeled out just over 8 ¼", but he corrected himself after a moment. When he was satisfied, he nodded, let go, and dropped his hands back to his sides. He walked away without a word.

    The video dramatically zoomed in on Shane’s pull, which showed just under 9 ¹⁄₁₆", then twisted and cut abruptly to an edited photo of Shane with antennae and a bright green face, while the X-Files theme played in the background.

    ---
    the Cens try the tiktok tape measure trend. now with 100% more tape measures!

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    29 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 45

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    Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaurs
    WATCH: The Cens pair up to play teammate Guess Who! Full video up now on our YouTube channel 🐎🧔‍♂️
    🔗https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mtk…

    [Video freeze frames on ZANE BOODRAM staring dead-eyed at the camera and ILYA ROZANOV leaning backward precariously far in his chair. A title appears superimposed over their faces]
    ROZ WINS!
    CENSMIN IS CONCERNED!
    NO COCKROACHES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO!

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    29 Apr 2026

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    Shane gets called ‘boring.’ Ilya makes it worse by playing along. Shane tries to pretend it's fine. Ilya calls his bluff.

    Cue in a fight, a stubborn silence, a slammed door that never closes, and a tiny, broken sound that changes everything.


    “You say you’re boring, fine. You can be boring for the whole damn world. I’ll still kiss you senseless and drag you home after every game. I’ll still make you moan loud enough to shake the walls. None of that changes.”

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    28 Apr 2026

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    Hayden Pike ✅ @haydenpike

    I’ve been around @IlyaRozanov81 for a few years now, and I can confirm he’s a huge dick…

    Directly under that tweet is a second one:

    Hayden Pike ✅ @haydenpike

    … to everyone except his husband. Idk what the Russian names he calls Shane mean, but anyone who’s heard how softly he says them knows there’s no way that man is cheating. 

    Or: Ilya sleeps in on Sunday morning. Meanwhile, his loved ones discover, confront, and diffuse a mini Twitter scandal with him at the center.

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    28 Apr 2026

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    Harris appeared in the doorway. "Troy said we're giving a dick-sucking talk?"

    Ilya threw his hands out, exasperated. "We do not need every dick-sucker in the building to explain this."

    "Maybe not, but I don't want to miss an Ilya Rozanov dick-sucking speech," Harris said, standing next to Troy.

    ~~~

    Ilya has become the go-to guy for sex advice. This time, everyone else joins in.

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    27 Apr 2026