Chapter Text
Seokjin stood in line at the coffee kiosk in the upscale shopping mall where he worked, glad to be on break. A dim hubbub surrounded him on this busy Saturday morning as shoppers and employees paused to eat, drink, and chatter away.
While he waited, he glanced around the bright and airy food court and up to where the sky showed pale blue through the glass of the atrium ceiling.
From the front of the line, a deep and resonant voice sounded above the din, catching Seokjin’s attention. His gaze dropped but he couldn’t see the person at the front of the line. He could only hear him.
“A medium chai tea latte, please. And a blueberry muffin.”
The low tones of the voice were rich and smooth, like an extra dark hot cocoa. It made Seokjin feel oddly cozy.
The barista asked for a name.
“Taehyung,” said the cozy voice.
As the young man named Taehyung stepped aside to await his order, Seokjin was able to get a good view of him, at least from the back. He had a tall, slender figure, well-proportioned, with the casually dignified posture of a college professor, one hand in the pocket of his brown corduroys. He wore a fuzzy emerald green sweater with a white shirt collar peeking out from the top, and short dark hairs splayed across the nape of his neck.
Seokjin wasn’t really the type to gawk at people, but he couldn’t help himself, and when Taehyung finally turned around, he really couldn’t stop staring, even as a flush rose to his ears and he felt the rudeness of his own gaze.
Taehyung was simply one of the most attractive people he had ever seen. Maybe it was the tortoiseshell glasses (Seokjin had always been weak for men in glasses), the way they framed his large brown eyes. Maybe it was the head of shiny dark hair, bangs slightly parted in the front, exposing a smooth forehead and slightly down-turned brows. Or maybe it was the way his pink lips curved in an almost-frown, as if he were having a day so dull that even a delicious chai tea latte couldn’t redeem it.
They made eye contact briefly as Taehyung passed by, which made Seokjin flush even more and finally look away, but not before he noticed that Taehyung bore a nametag, which meant he probably worked somewhere in the mall, too.
Seokjin hoped he would bump into him again soon.
***
By the time he finally saw Taehyung again, a month later, he had almost given up that hope.
It was a Saturday evening, and Seokjin was crouched in the display window at the children’s bookstore where he worked, trying to find the best arrangement for a batch of award-winning picture books. He had folded his somewhat gangly limbs into an awkward position in order to fit among the chunky white display platforms, and he was having trouble keeping his balance.
Out of the corner of his eye he suddenly noticed someone standing at the window, gazing at the books within.
Startled, he yelped and tipped sideways, catching himself against the glass with a loud thunk! sound. He looked sheepishly up at the person on the other side.
The very attractive person on the other side.
It came back to him in an instant - that bit of brief eye contact in the food court, the green sweater, the tortoiseshell glasses. Only this time the sweater was argyle, in a mostly maroon shade. The glasses were still there. The pink lips that had been in an almost-frown before were now hiding behind a hand as Taehyung covered up a smirk.
Seokjin turned rosy and righted himself, cursing his momentary clumsiness. Attempting a smile that probably looked more like a grimace, he nodded his head at Taehyung.
Taehyung’s eyes gleamed with amusement for just a moment, then cooled. He waved his hand in an apologetic gesture, then turned and strode away towards the other end of the mall.
That brief encounter shook Seokjin so much that he spent the rest of his shift in a jittery daze, where things that had been safe and familiar before suddenly felt odd and distasteful. How could he go back to stocking books after that? It felt like so much more of a drudge now that Taehyung had flitted into his life again.
And he could flit back at any moment. It put Seokjin on edge.
The effect was so obvious that it prompted his co-worker Namjoon to ask if he was okay.
“You keep looking out the door,” he said, nodding at the open threshold that separated their little bookstore from the rest of the mall. “Like you’re paranoid. Are we in danger?”
Seokjin shook his head, maintaining a neutral expression. “No. I hope not.”
Namjoon narrowed his eyes. “Then are you...waiting for someone?”
Seokjin sighed. It was near closing time, the store was empty of customers, and theoretically, he was free to speak his thoughts. Did he trust Namjoon with this kind of thing? They hadn’t ever really talked about relationship stuff. But they had worked together for two years, and Namjoon had given him some very sound advice about other things. Maybe he would understand?
“Well, there’s this guy…” Seokjin began.
Namjoon started chuckling immediately, then stopped himself. “Sorry. Please continue.”
Seokjin inhaled deeply through his nose, feeling the first twinge of embarrassment.
“Forget it,” he muttered, turning to tidy up the area by the cash register even though it didn’t need tidying up.
“No, seriously, I want to hear about it,” Namjoon offered, looking contrite. “I don’t know why that made me laugh. You just never talk about that stuff.”
“Because I’m hopeless,” Seokjin said, adding a pathetic laugh, very aware of how dramatic he was being.
Namjoon frowned, leaning against the countertop. “I truly doubt that. Besides, we’re all hopeless sometimes when it comes to that stuff. Who’s the guy?”
Seokjin made a face as he fiddled with a stapler. “Well. It’s silly. I’ve only seen him twice. I think he works here in the mall. And we’ve never spoken. But he’s one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen.” Seokjin paused and looked at Namjoon, wary of his reaction, but he was still listening intently.
“I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating,” Seokjin continued. “But...it’s like…” Seokjin leaned against the countertop opposite Namjoon and smiled. “You know how celebrities look...well, they look like celebrities. They’re otherworldly. You expect them to be insanely attractive. But when you see someone who is insanely attractive in real life, just this...normal person walking around looking like...that...it’s unnerving.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows shot up. “Ooh, now I’m really curious. Who is this guy?”
“I think his name is Taehyung. I have no idea where he works, though. And even if I did...and even if I could talk to him...I wouldn’t stand a chance. He might not even be into guys.” Seokjin sighed in utter desolation, still aware of how dramatic he was being but somehow unable to dial it back now that he had unleashed it.
Namjoon smiled a bit. “Wow. I’ve never seen you like this. Like, I didn’t even know you had this side. You’re usually so...sensible? Logical? Maybe a little...cold? But you sound totally gone over this guy.”
Seokjin stood up straighter and tilted his head. “I’m cold?”
“We don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing,” laughed Namjoon.
Ah, yes. Seokjin vaguely recalled his co-workers teasing him with that nickname awhile back.
“I thought that was because I like the movie Frozen,” he said, feeling slightly offended. “It’s because I’m a cold person?”
“Don’t take it the wrong way!” Namjoon waved his hand in the air. “There’s the ‘prince’ part, too. Everyone thinks you’re handsome, like a prince. But you’re sort of quiet and hard to get to know, hence the ‘ice’ part of it.”
“Everyone thinks I’m handsome?”
Namjoon let out a soft huff of irritation. “Don’t be dumb, Seokjin. You know you are. There are at least three girls who’ve worked here who were crushing on you super hard. You couldn’t have been oblivious to that.”
A blush crept gracefully across Seokjin’s cheeks. “They were just teasing me.”
Namjoon shook his head in exasperation. “You’re ridiculous. I’d call you naive but I know how smart you are. But let me just say this. That guy, Taehyung? He might think you’re handsome, too. And you’ll never know unless you go for it.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes but he knew Namjoon had a point. Taehyung might be walking around out there like some deity fallen to earth, but Seokjin had never been so attracted to someone at first (and second) glance in all his life, and maybe it would be worth a loss of some dignity to seek him out and get to know him. And if Taehyung wasn’t into guys, maybe he’d make a friend. That wouldn’t be so bad.
He’d have to give it some thought.
“Okay, well, don’t say his name out loud anymore; he could walk by at any time.” Seokjin turned to the cash register and began closing up for the night.
Namjoon snickered. “Okay, maybe we should have a code name so if he comes by you can point him out to me.”
Seokjin pondered Taehyung’s characteristics, trying to drum up something harmless he could use that wouldn’t sound totally stupid in the context of a children’s bookstore.
He turned to Namjoon. “How about...Tortoise.”
“Tortoise?”
“Yeah. He wears tortoiseshell glasses.”
Namjoon cackled. “Tortoise. Does that make you the Hare? Should we call you Thumper? Are you twitterpated?” Namjoon tapped his foot on the floor rapidly in a poor imitation of Thumper from Bambi.
Seokjin made his finger as pointy as possible and jabbed Namjoon in the arm, once for each word.
“Don’t. Start.”
He was going to regret telling Namjoon anything.
***
He already regretted it a few days later when Namjoon caught him watching out the door again and asked, “Have you talked to him yet?”
Seokjin snapped out of his daze. “Talked to whom?” He went back to arranging the autumn-themed books on the display table.
“That guy you like. Tae something.”
Seokjin glanced up in alarm as if the whole mall could hear Namjoon’s words. “Shhh! It’s Tortoise! Tortoise.”
“Oh, right, right. Tortoise. Have you talked to him yet? Set a date for the wedding? Picked out cutlery or whatever?”
Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Stop.”
Namjoon laughed. “What?”
“You’re teasing me.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it sometimes.”
Seokjin ignored that and began to page through one of the books, admiring the bright oranges and yellows of the illustrations.
“Well?” said Namjoon.
“Well what?”
“Have you talked to Tortoise yet?”
Seokjin sighed. “No. I haven’t seen him since I fell into the window.”
“Fell into the what?”
Seokjin turned red, recalling that he hadn’t told Namjoon about that little incident. “Last Saturday. I was in the display case. He startled me, and I went flop! against the glass like a bird hitting a window.”
“Oh, now there’s an image,” Namjoon chuckled. “What did he do?”
“He laughed at me, and then he raced off.”
“Raced off? He sounds pretty fast for a tortoise.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes again. “Ahh, why did I pick that nickname?” he half-laughed, half-wailed.
He figured that would be the end of the conversation for the day, but it was a quiet morning and Namjoon apparently had nothing better to do. He leaned over the counter and stroked his chin.
“Uh oh,” said Seokjin. “You look like you’re hatching a plan.”
“Not really,” Namjoon replied, his eyes glinting. “Just playing detective a bit. When you flopped into the window, it was a Saturday, you said?”
“Please don’t ever bring that up again. And yes.”
“And you’ve seen him once before, right? Was that also a Saturday, perchance?”
Seokjin thought back to over a month ago, when he first saw Taehyung at the coffee kiosk. “I’m not sure, but probably. The food court was pretty busy.”
“So...he works on Saturdays!” Namjoon exclaimed proudly.
“Ahh, yes. You are truly a master of deduction.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help. You said you were hopeless, remember?” Namjoon smiled.
“I’m not that hopeless. I could have figured out that whole Saturday thing.”
“But you didn’t.”
Seokjin raised a brow. “I didn’t. But I had no reason to. If I see him, I see him. If I don’t, I don’t. I’m not going to act all desperate like we’re in junior high or something.”
He hoped he sounded nonchalant, because he wasn’t being totally honest. After Namjoon’s little pep talk last Saturday, he had thought of little else but how to throw himself in the path of Taehyung, how to engineer some kind of “meet cute”, how to strike up a conversation. But everything he came up with felt so awkward and unnatural. The only way for it to feel natural would be for him to just let it go and hope for the best.
Plus that was the easiest and safest thing to do. He was willing to lose some dignity to get to know Taehyung, but he wasn’t going to purposely throw himself into an undignified situation. That required a certain bravado that Seokjin just didn’t possess.
Of course, that wasn’t going to keep him from glancing out into the mall every five seconds.
“So you’re leaving it up to fate?” Namjoon asked.
“Yep. I know you told me to ‘go for it’, but that’s just...not my style.”
“Ahhhh!” said Namjoon, snapping a finger, his eyes wide as if he had just made an amazing discovery. “I get it now! That’s why you’re single!”
“Hey!” Seokjin grabbed a pumpkin plushie from his display and threw it at Namjoon’s head.
Namjoon ducked just in time. “Well?” he laughed. “Am I wrong?”
Seokjin sighed. He knew Namjoon had mostly good intentions, but Seokjin was a fairly private person. The more he revealed to Namjoon, the more it made him feel squirrelly and naked. He didn’t like it.
“How about we discuss your love life instead?” he deflected, raising his brows.
Namjoon coughed. “I think I hear the truck out back,” he said. He tossed the pumpkin plushie at Seokjin and made a beeline towards the back of the store.
Seokjin snorted at his retreating figure. “Coward!”
Three more Saturdays came and went, and while Seokjin didn’t completely forget about his silly crush, he became a little less consumed by it. His obsessive glancing out into the mall grew less frequent, and Namjoon barely teased him about it anymore.
When he did think about Taehyung, it was only to fuel his daydreams, to give a face to that normally faceless “someone” who was going to storm into view one day and rescue him from his humdrum life. He was barely a real person anymore, just an abstraction made manifest by Seokjin’s loneliness.
Seokjin spent that month in a listless existence, realizing that Namjoon was right, that he was painfully single because he was a fantastic scaredy-cat, and that he was doomed to follow this desolate path forever, as long as he was afraid to stray from it.
And he was definitely afraid to stray from it.
By the time the fourth Saturday rolled around, he had begun to cheer up a little. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving, and Namjoon was already cranking his Christmas playlist over the store’s speakers. Customer traffic had died down a bit after the dinner rush, their manager had bailed for the night, and the two young men found themselves all caught up on their tasks for the evening.
There was nothing to do but hang out by the front register and try to amuse themselves somehow. Seokjin knew that in a week he’d be sick to death of “Jingle Bells” and every other holiday song in existence, but for the moment the music felt fresh and cheery, and he couldn’t help bopping around like an idiot while Namjoon warbled along, purposely off-key.
Seokjin tried to keep an eye on the door; he didn’t want to look like too much of a slacker if a customer wandered in, but the mall was so dead, he wasn’t too worried about it.
What he didn’t expect was for their manager to come waltzing back into the store 45 minutes after he had left for the night.
“What are you two doing?” their manager Yoongi said in his soft, rumbling voice, as if he didn’t really want to know but felt compelled to ask anyway.
They immediately stopped their horsing around and stared at their boss. He had a smaller frame than either Namjoon or Seokjin, and he almost never raised his voice, but he had a blunt demeanor that made his employees nervous sometimes. He was actually younger than Seokjin by a few months, but it didn’t matter, Seokjin found him a little intimidating (and sometimes sweet, though he would never speak that aloud).
“Hi, Yoongi. Back so soon?” he asked, pasting an innocent smile on his face.
“Yeah, I forgot my iPad. You guys run out of things to do?”
“Uh, yeah, pretty much,” said Namjoon.
And then it happened. Right as Namjoon was speaking, Seokjin glanced past Yoongi and saw Taehyung outside of the store. He was strolling by, gorgeous as ever, a beige sweater tucked into his dark brown slacks, his hands in his pockets, his posture impeccable.
“Oh my god, it’s Tortoise,” he whispered without really thinking. “Namjoon! Tortoise!”
“Tortoise?” Namjoon asked, way more loudly than he needed to. Seokjin shot a foot out sideways to kick him. “Ahhh, Tortoise!”
As Taehyung passed by in his casually cool way, he glanced into the store, his eyes landing on Seokjin for the briefest of moments before they faced front again. Had he heard them?
Seokjin felt his heart spin. And then Taehyung was gone.
“Tortoise?” Yoongi said, looking perplexedly around the store. “Why are we tortoising?”
Namjoon smacked Seokjin’s arm. “Did you see that?” he asked, his eyes big.
Seokjin realized he was holding his breath. “See what?” he breathed out.
“He looked right at you! And then he smiled.”
Seokjin laughed as if that were the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “No, he didn’t.” He hadn’t seen him smile.
Namjoon smacked him again. “It was the tiniest ghost of a smile, but it was there.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I’m not, I swear! But you’re right, he is really good-looking. And classy. I approve.” He gave an enthusiastic thumbs up, which Seokjin felt was half-sincere, half-mocking.
Yoongi cut in. “What are you two idiots talking about?”
“Seokjin has a crush,” said Namjoon with a little giggle.
It was Seokjin’s turn to smack Namjoon in the arm. “Hey! You don’t need to tell the whole world!”
“His name is Tae-something.” Namjoon said, laughing and backing away preemptively, but he wasn’t fast enough.
Seokjin whirled on him and socked him in the arm this time - a full clobber, not just a light smack. Namjoon yowled and gripped his arm, but he continued chuckling softly afterwards, as if he knew he deserved the hit but just couldn’t help himself.
“Taehyung?” Yoongi said then, and Seokjin gaped at him, frozen on the spot.
“Yeah! That’s it,” Namjoon offered, rubbing his arm. “You know him?”
“If it’s the Taehyung that works at Blue & Grey, then yes.”
Seokjin just stood there, speechless. Blue & Grey was the fancy menswear shop in the mall. It made perfect sense that Taehyung would work there; he always looked so well-dressed. But what did Yoongi just say? He knows him?
“How...?” was all Seokjin could manage to sputter out.
Yoongi rested his arms on the counter. “He dated my friend Hobi. Well, they went on like two dates. They didn’t really connect romantically. But they hit it off as friends.”
This was such an overflow of information that Seokjin could hardly grasp it all. It didn’t seem real. Yoongi knows Taehyung. Yoongi’s friend used to date Taehyung. Taehyung is into guys.
“How come…” Seokjin was still trying to piece everything together. “How come he’s never stopped in to say hi to you?”
Yoongi shrugged. “We don’t know each other that well. Only in passing. And he’s probably scared of me.”
Seokjin quirked a brow at that but Yoongi didn’t really need to elaborate; they knew what he was like. He was one of those people who seemed to disapprove of everything until you got to know him better.
He felt Namjoon smack him lightly on the arm for the umpteenth time that night.
“Well, now you know where he works,” he said encouragingly. “There’s your way in.”
Seokjin smirked. “What, go stalk him at his store? Show up ‘randomly’ like some kind of creep?”
“How is that creepy?” Namjoon laughed. “Do you have any idea how people actually meet other people? They see someone they like, they go up to them and say something. It’s the most normal thing in the world.”
Seokjin was already cringing just thinking about it. “No, no. It’s not normal for me. You might as well ask me to dance in the middle of the mall in my underwear.”
“That could work, too,” Yoongi said drily.
Seokjin made a pained smile. “No, you guys don’t understand. I’m a disaster around people I like. I either turn into a statue or I stammer and flop around like a dying fish. There’s no way I could just walk up to him and say words that make actual sense.”
Yoongi turned to Namjoon with a chuckle. “I guess Seokjin doesn’t like us then, because he makes sense most of the time.”
Namjoon shrugged out a laugh in response, then looked at Seokjin. “You’re overthinking this. Just treat him like a normal person instead of someone you like. You talk to strangers every day at this job. Go in there with a purpose, like to buy a tie or something, and ask him for his opinion. He’ll respond and boom! You’re just two people talking. Ice, broken.”
Seokjin felt overwhelmed. This was all too much. He wanted to go back to when he didn’t know where Taehyung worked and that he was into guys. He liked when Taehyung was just the very attractive stranger in his daydreams. It was much more comfortable.
“I can’t do that,” Seokjin said, throwing up his hands decisively. “And I don’t need to. It’s just a harmless crush that doesn’t need to go anywhere. And you guys know too much now, so I’ll have to kill you both.”
With that, he flounced off, away from the counter area and towards the back of the store where he could hide behind the gift-wrap station. He busied himself with reorganizing the bow and ribbon drawer, and if Yoongi or Namjoon said anything else, he didn’t hear it.
A few minutes later Yoongi walked by him to get his iPad from the backroom, but he said nothing until he was passing by him again on his way out.
“I’m sorry,” he said, stopping by Seokjin.
Seokjin glanced at him. “For what?” he said, holding up a pair of scissors and pretending to examine them. He was still feeling a bit tense.
Yoongi laughed anxiously at the scissors and took a step back. “You’re not really going to kill us, are you?”
Seokjin set the scissors down. “No,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve heard prison food is terrible.”
“Good,” said Yoongi, pressing his lips together in a somewhat less anxious smile. “I’m sorry we made you uncomfortable. And for what it’s worth, I don’t like talking to strangers, either. You gotta do what works for you.” He paused for a moment, then said, “One thing, though - it’s kind of my mantra: life is full of possibilities, but the ones that come true are the ones you pursue.”
Seokjin fluttered his eyes at that, pondering. “Why does that sound like a cheesy rap lyric?”
Yoongi clamped his lips together again and nodded once before taking off. “Good night, Seokjin,” he said, waving without looking back.
Later that night, Seokjin lay in bed, staring into the darkness. His apartment was quiet except for the occasional loud cough from his neighbor piercing the thin walls.
He thought about Taehyung, but only in an abstract sense. Mostly he wondered why he had dragged Namjoon (and by extension, Yoongi) into this whole thing. It was so unlike him to talk about his pitiful love life with his co-workers. Sure, they were being kind and helpful, even if they enjoyed teasing him about it. But Seokjin couldn’t help feeling deeply mortified. He was positive they both saw him as some lovesick, melodramatic teenager now, not a mostly sensible man in his mid-20s.
Why hadn’t he simply shut the whole thing down before it got so personal? That was what he usually did. Anytime anyone got too far past the surface of him, he’d freeze up - deflect the conversation or disappear from it altogether. That was why they called him the Ice Prince, right? He was like some soft squishy creature with a shell of ice that he could retreat into whenever he felt threatened.
Very tortoise-like, in fact.
Seokjin rolled over and sighed. If he was being completely honest with himself, he knew why he had confided in Namjoon, and why he had let him and Yoongi into this dusty, neglected corner of his life. He had hit some kind of snapping point, and Taehyung had led him to it. Not necessarily Taehyung himself - he still didn’t even know the guy - but the possibility of him. The beautiful dream that he represented. Seokjin had never been in a real relationship - he had dated a bit but it was always so awkward and disappointing - and he just really wanted someone.
Someone who liked him. Could maybe even love him. Someone who didn’t make him want to hide. Someone who made him feel exhilarated like Taehyung did whenever he saw him.
Seokjin’s eyes welled with tears.
He had felt so worn out these last few months, like an old pillowcase that has been washed too many times. Pale and fraying and full of holes. Eventually he would just disintegrate and there would be nothing left.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath.
“Wow, I’m pathetic,” he whispered.
From the other side of the wall, his neighbor coughed.
For some reason it made Seokjin laugh softly to himself. He dashed away another tear that had leaked through.
He was pathetic and a huge coward, but he had friends. Friends who maybe thought he was a silly, swoony idiot, but friends nonetheless. And they were trying to help him.
He needed that. He needed some confidence smacked into him.
Because otherwise he really was going to be alone forever. And he was feeling less and less okay about that.
***
It was the day before Thanksgiving, and customer traffic had waned for the evening. Most of the mall would be closed for the holiday, and then the three days after that would be some of their busiest days of the year. This gentle Wednesday evening was the calm before the holiday storm.
“All right, Namjoon. Tell me what I need to do,” Seokjin said as he slammed a stack of picture books onto the counter.
Namjoon glanced up from the store computer.
“Well, you need to put those books away,” he said, clamping his lips together in a very Yoongi-like smile.
Seokjin was unamused. “This has nothing to do with work. Tell me what I need to do about Tortoise.”
Namjoon eyed Seokjin cautiously. “I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about that anymore. Didn’t you say you were going to kill us?”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Seokjin shrugged. “I’m a pathetic idiot. I need help. Tell me exactly what to do.”
Namjoon simply stared.
“What?” Seokjin asked, eyebrows raised. “You were full of advice the other day.”
“I’m just shocked,” Namjoon laughed. “You’re being so direct right now. It’s...different.”
“Well, I realized I was being dumb. You guys were trying to help me, and I was being all wishy-washy. I’m ready to be direct.” Seokjin straightened his shoulders and settled what he hoped was a very determined gaze on Namjoon.
“Well, okay then,” said Namjoon, his smile faltering as if he wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. “Let’s see. Did you like the tie idea? Go in there looking for a tie, strike up a conversation?”
Seokjin pondered a moment. “It’s a good start, I think. But it’s a bit vague. Like, what do I do if he’s not the one who offers to help me? What if I get nervous and start floundering? How do I go from ‘hello, yes, I’d like a tie’ to ‘would you like to get coffee with me sometime’? I need a serious plan, with...sub-plans...for contingencies.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened. “Good lord, Seokjin. I didn’t know you liked plans so much.”
“I don’t,” Seokjin said, smiling. “I hate plans. But this is like...exploring a cave. You don’t go in without supplies, safety gear, all that stuff. Otherwise you’re going to get lost. Normally I would just avoid the cave altogether. But since I’m going in, I have to be prepared.”
“Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s impossible to plan for absolutely every contingency. You know that, right?”
Seokjin scoffed. “Of course. I know I can’t plan for everything.”
A sympathetic smile spread across Namjoon’s face. “You can’t even plan for most of it. You have to learn how to wing it.”
“I was afraid you would say that,” said Seokjin. His shoulders sank.
“But winging it is a skill you can learn. It just takes practice and willingness to make mistakes.”
“Namjoon!” Seokjin cried. “I can’t make mistakes with this!” He laughed as he said it, feeling dramatic again, but he was dead serious.
“Seokjin!” Namjoon cried back. “Take a deep breath. This isn’t a life or death situation. If things don’t work out with Tortoise, there will be others. Especially if you’re open to it. I promise. You’re a good guy with a lot to offer.”
“Yeah? You think so?”
“Yes, of course.”
Seokjin grinned. “Ah, Namjoon. If only you weren’t straight.”
Namjoon blushed then. “You flatter me. But seriously. You can do this. I believe in you.”
Seokjin inhaled deeply, gathering his strength again. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.” He paused, then smiled. “I may need to hear it again.”
“Seokjin, I believe in you.”
Just then a customer wandered in, and Namjoon smiled. “We’ll continue this later.”
Seokjin nodded gratefully and turned to help the customer.
By the end of the evening, they had a rough plan, and even sub-plans for a few possible contingencies. Seokjin was going to attempt the plan this coming Saturday, as long as Taehyung was working. They didn’t know his schedule, so they weren’t sure, but they had to start somewhere.
Until then, Seokjin had to get through Thanksgiving Day, which consisted of driving 90 miles away to a low-key dinner with his family, and Black Friday, the craziest shopping day of the year and the one that usually made Seokjin want to pull his hair out.
Thanksgiving went mostly fine. His brother brought his new girlfriend, and they were clearly in a blissful stage of their relationship, full of loving smiles and secret giggles. Seokjin was happy for them, but he couldn’t help feeling envious. He ended up drinking a little too much wine, then lost at Jenga three times in a row, making a loud fuss the whole time. After falling asleep on the sofa while everyone else chatted in the dining room, he awoke feeling very sober and drove back home.
He slept restlessly before the big shopping day, which was unfortunate because he had to work the entire day, a full 12-hour shift. It was all hands on deck - Namjoon and Yoongi were both there, as well as assorted other co-workers Seokjin only worked with occasionally. He tried his best to keep his own and everyone else’s spirits up, playing cheery music over the speakers and being as polite as possible, but a few times he had to hide himself in the breakroom and take deep, calming breaths.
Saturday promised to be just as crazy, but he was only working the 12:30-9:00 shift, thank goodness. Being able to sleep in for a bit was wonderful.
Once at work, he ran around non-stop most of the afternoon, so busy that he had almost forgotten about the whole Taehyung thing until Namjoon brought it up during a very brief evening lull.
“You gonna go down there today?” Namjoon asked him, tilting his head in the direction of the Blue & Grey shop.
Seokjin laughed sadly, feeling a bit frazzled. “Do I have to?”
Namjoon snickered and shook his head. “Damn, Seokjin. What happened to all your fight from the other day? You were on fire with it.”
“I guess the fire went out,” Seokjin said with a smile and a shrug. “This job is like a big wet blanket.”
Namjoon glanced around the store, where just a handful of customers were browsing. “It’s quiet now,” he said.
Seokjin held up a finger. “Don’t jinx it.”
“Well, it’s your life,” Namjoon said, grabbing a stack of chapter books to restock. “I thought we came up with a pretty good plan.”
Seokjin chewed on his lower lip. It was a pretty good plan. And now would be a good time to take a break, since things had died down a bit. Maybe he could just walk by, see if Taehyung was even working. He didn’t have to actually go in there if he wasn’t ready. Baby steps.
“All right,” he said, finding a scrap of resolve somewhere in the pile of ashes that used to be his guts. “I’m going on break. Wish me luck.”
“Yes!” Namjoon gave him a high-five. “You got this,” he said.
Yoongi appeared then, his iPad in hand. “What’s going on?” he asked in his usual way.
“He’s gonna try talking to Tortoise,” Namjoon said quietly.
Yoongi’s brow furrowed. “Tortoise? Oh, yeah. Taehyung.”
Both Namjoon and Seokjin shushed him.
Yoongi smiled in amusement, his whole face changing as he did so. “What, is he Voldemort? Will something bad happen if we say his name?”
“No,” said Seokjin. “We just don’t want the whole world knowing that we’re talking about him. Although you shouldn’t say that other name, either.”
“Tortoise?”
“Voldemort,” Seokjin whispered from behind his hand.
Yoongi shook his head. “Oh my god, you’re such a nerd.” He clapped a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder then. “Best of luck. Don’t forget, he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like we do. Treat him like a normal person and you’ll do fine.”
“Now I’m thinking about his pants. Thanks, Yoongi.”
Yoongi merely waved a hand and went back to work.
***
Blue & Grey Menswear was hidden away in a little offshoot from the main part of the mall, which it shared with a fancy eyewear store and a nail salon. Neither of those places received much of an uptick in business during holidays, so overall this corridor was much quieter than the rest of the mall.
Seokjin made his way there rather slowly, every step feeling more and more portentous. Instead of thinking about the person he was hoping to see there, because that would make him way too nervous, he ran lines in his head as if he were rehearsing a script for a play.
I need a necktie for a friend’s wedding. I’m wearing a light blue shirt and navy slacks. The wedding is in two weeks. I can’t spend too much. What would you recommend?
It was all lies, of course, but it was harmless enough. A bit of subterfuge to bolster his confidence. It would be worth it in the end if he got to talk to Taehyung.
As Seokjin neared the entrance to the shop, he noted the sparse but elegant Christmas decorations in the windows, framing a winter chalet scene, with male mannequins in Nordic sweaters and knitted hats. He stood in front of the display to get his bearings, pretending to admire one of the sweaters when really he was staring past it and into the store.
Taehyung was there, towards the middle of the shop, dressing a different mannequin. He draped a scarf over its shoulders and stood back to examine it. As if he didn’t like what he saw, he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. He turned to talk to someone then, and Seokjin followed his line of sight to a young man behind the counter, who held a tablet much like Yoongi always did at the bookstore.
Seokjin watched as Taehyung yanked the hat from the mannequin’s head and threw it at the other man like a Frisbie. The throw was playful but his expression was one of utter boredom.
The other man caught the hat without even looking. They exchanged words, and then the man with the tablet glanced out into the mall. Seokjin shifted his position a little so he was shielded from his view by one of the mannequins. He wasn’t ready to be seen just yet.
He could still see Taehyung, though. He watched various expressions flash across his face as he spoke to the other man - first he pouted, puffing his lips out cutely, then he smiled eagerly like a child, and then he reprised his look of sheer boredom, grabbing the hat back from the other man and returning to his mannequin. Seokjin felt like he could watch Taehyung make faces all day long.
But he couldn’t linger outside the shop forever. His break was only fifteen minutes long, and this was as good an opportunity as he was going to get. The store seemed empty of any other customers, and Taehyung would likely be the person to help him, since the other man was behind the counter. Taehyung also looked like he could use something to do.
Seokjin thought about Namjoon’s encouraging words. It’s not a life-or-death situation. You got this. I believe in you.
He felt so incredibly tense. He took a deep breath, wriggled his shoulders to loosen them up, and, as nonchalantly as possible, walked into the shop.
A quaint “ding-dong” sound played over the speakers, announcing his presence, and he felt his face go red. He immediately wandered over to a rack of shirts and pretended to look at them, running his hand along a sleeve. He didn’t dare glance over at Taehyung or the other man, for fear of becoming an actual tomato.
Absently he grasped the tag of the shirt and blinked at the price. It was outrageous. Good thing he was only looking for a necktie, otherwise he’d have to spend a fortune on this little pretense.
Ah yes, the neckties. He needed to find them. He had only been in this shop maybe once in his whole life, and he had no clue where they were, so he roamed a bit aimlessly until he was halfway to where Taehyung and the other man stood by the counter, looking right at him.
Seokjin felt his heart do that flippy thing again.
They were looking right at him. Taehyung’s huge brown eyes were peering past his tortoiseshell glasses and straight into Seokjin’s soul.
The two men seemed to be exchanging words again, too low for Seokjin to hear, and he glanced away quickly. At that moment he spotted the neckties along the wall and released a little sigh of relief. Thank god. He could concentrate on those now instead of his profound urge to turn and sprint out of the shop.
Seokjin made his way over to the ties. In a dimly lit nook framed in dark wood, ties of various colors and patterns hung in rows or peeked out from little cubbies. Seokjin reached out to touch the first one that caught his eye, a grey tie with navy blue stripes. It felt thick and silky. Expensive.
Just then he heard a soft voice say, “Good evening.” It wasn’t Taehyung’s voice; it had a much higher pitch. Seokjin looked over to see the other man approaching him. He no longer carried a tablet. Instead he held his hands behind his back and smiled politely.
“Are you looking for anything in particular?” he asked with a strange accent that Seokjin couldn’t quite place. English? Irish? Scottish?
Seokjin panicked for a second, trying to remember what he was supposed to do if Taehyung wasn’t the one who approached him, but it had vanished from his mind. He wanted to glance over in Taehyung’s direction but he didn’t want this other young man to feel unwelcome.
“Uh, I was looking for the ties,” he stammered out, pointing at the ties that he was, indeed, standing right in front of.
The man chuckled. “Well, you seem to have found them. Do you need one for a special occasion?”
Seokjin blinked, forgetting his script. The young man before him was as attractive as Taehyung but in a different way - he had a lively and open face, and dark grey eyes with an odd shimmer to them. His dyed blonde hair was expertly styled, one side shorter and the other longer, swooping smoothly across his forehead. Small hoops dangled from his ears. Shorter in stature than Taehyung, he wore a silvery-blue paisley shirt that tapered nicely into the waist of his fitted black slacks.
On his chest was a nametag that read, “Jimin, Store Manager.”
Was everyone who worked at this place gorgeous? Seokjin wondered, feeling a little tongue-tied as Jimin’s patient gaze swept over him.
“Yes,” Seokjin finally uttered, his finger still pointing at the ties. “I need one for...a wedding. I...uh...I’m wearing a...light blue shirt…I think…” He rolled his eyes to the ceiling as he tried to remember what on earth he had planned to say. The words were easy. Why weren’t they coming out of his mouth?
Jimin turned to a stack of dress shirts nearby and lifted up a pale blue one to show it to Seokjin. “Something like this shade?” he asked, still in that unidentifiable lilt.
“That’s pretty close,” said Seokjin, glad to have something to look at besides Jimin. As he stepped forward to take the shirt from Jimin’s hands, he glanced past it and saw Taehyung. He was relatively nearby, folding some clothes at a table. As Seokjin’s eyes rested on him, he glanced down quickly, a strange look on his face. Seokjin wasn’t sure if it was a smirk or a frown.
Jimin walked over to the ties and retrieved a few of the hanging ones. He then laid each one in turn across the blue shirt that Seokjin now held in his hands.
“This one could work,” he said, stroking one of them lightly. Seokjin noticed he had rings on his fingers that glittered as he moved. “Or, if you’re feeling a bit adventurous, perhaps this one.” He touched a tie that had thick purple and navy blue stripes interspersed with skinny stripes of turquoise.
Jimin didn’t get close enough to Seokjin to be unprofessional, but something about the way he touched the ties and spoke so softly, Seokjin couldn’t help feeling a little flustered. His ears burned hot, and he couldn’t seem to speak. He just nodded dumbly, making little “hm” sounds like he was deeply weighing the pros and cons of each necktie when really he was just wondering how to extricate himself gracefully.
“Of course, this one’s quite lovely, too,” Jimin said, his odd accent suddenly stronger than ever, causing Seokjin to look at him askance.
Jimin seemed to repress a laugh then, and stepped out of Seokjin’s space. “I’ll give you some time to think about it. I’ll be just over there if you need anything.” The words came out in a funny rush, and he nodded courteously before turning and breezing back to the counter.
Perplexed by Jimin’s abrupt exit, Seokjin watched him for a moment, then glanced over to Taehyung, who was still folding shirts, his eyes cast downward and his lips curled in an awkward expression. His shoulders were shaking, a telltale sign that he was trying desperately to hold back a laugh.
Seokjin’s breath caught in his throat as the realization washed over him. They were laughing at him. They had been teasing him. It was so obvious now - Jimin’s weird accent, his over-attentiveness, his weird choice of words, and Taehyung near enough to hear it all. Seokjin had been the target of some little joke between them, and it embarrassed him beyond belief.
Without another glance at the two men, he threw the shirt and ties onto a display table and hurried out of the shop.
Just before he was out of earshot, he thought he heard Taehyung’s deep voice exclaim, “What the hell was that?”
Seokjin practically raced back to the bookstore, wishing he had never gone through with this whole dumb plan. Why did he think he could pull it off? How was buying a stupid necktie going to get him any closer to Taehyung? Taehyung hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. It was Jimin who approached him instead. Jimin, who put on a silly accent in order to mess with him. They were probably in hysterics over it now.
He felt like such a dolt. This was why he didn’t ever pursue anyone or try to date. It was too humiliating. It reminded him of the bumper cars at the fair - everyone was just trying to slam into each other, and all he got was a sore neck. He hated that ride with a passion. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t even remotely fun.
As Seokjin entered the bookstore he went straight for the backroom, just to compose himself for a minute before returning to work. He had some break time left anyway. He sailed past Namjoon, who, despite being in the middle of helping a customer, spared him a curious look. Seokjin couldn’t even meet his eyes.
He sat in the breakroom for a little while, playing a game on his phone and trying to forget what had just happened.
The rest of the evening was surprisingly busy, customer-wise. Seokjin didn’t get a chance to tell Namjoon what had happened until almost closing time, when things had died down a bit.
Namjoon had been giving Seokjin concerned looks all evening, and now he finally gave voice to that concern.
“You’ve been a bit glum,” he said, stepping behind the counter where Seokjin was standing at the register, having just checked out a customer. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Seokjin shrugged. “Nothing happened.”
“That’s obviously not true.”
“I guess I don’t feel like talking about it, then.” Seokjin tried to say this as nicely as possible, but he could feel the frosty sheen of his tone.
Namjoon didn’t push the issue; he simply sighed and leaned against the counter by Seokjin in a silent show of solidarity.
A few minutes passed as the two men simply existed in the same space, neither one saying anything.
“They laughed at me,” Seokjin finally said, choking back his own sad laugh.
Namjoon looked over at him with his eyebrows raised but stayed mute.
“Tortoise -” Seokjin winced as he said that name, feeling how completely silly it was, “- should have been the one to come up to me, but he didn’t. I don’t know why. Instead it was the store manager. Some guy named Jimin. He talked to me in a weird voice, and they both laughed. I just...left.” Seokjin released another morbid chuckle and shook his head, realizing how dumb this all sounded now that he was telling Namjoon about it.
Namjoon sighed. “I’m sure they didn’t mean it personally.”
Seokjin appreciated the compassion in Namjoon’s tone, but he still felt supremely stupid. He fidgeted with the hem of his sweater sleeve, his lips contorting into a frustrated pout.
“It doesn’t matter. I felt like an idiot. I am an idiot. I probably shouldn’t have gone there.”
“Hey. You’re not an idiot. It took some guts to go there. You’re really brave.”
Seokjin laughed. “Yeah, right. Aren’t they two sides of the same coin? Bravery and foolishness?”
Namjoon shook his head in amusement. “Please, tell me what you did that was so foolish.”
Seokjin thought for a moment. Namjoon had a point. Maybe it had been silly of Seokjin to have this obsessive little crush on a stranger, but in essence, he hadn’t done anything wrong. As far as anyone else knew, he had just gone to the menswear shop to buy a tie. Maybe they had laughed at his awkwardness or his stupid stammering, but that was just who Seokjin was when he was nervous and around strangers. Especially very attractive strangers. Did that really make him so foolish? Or just...human?
“I guess you’re right,” he said. “I didn’t do anything inherently idiotic. It just...didn’t work out.”
“That’s right. And you can’t blame yourself for that. Besides, the whole thing was my idea, remember?”
Seokjin shrugged out a laugh.
“That’s right,” he said in mock indignation. “It’s all your fault. See if I take your advice again!” He gave Namjoon a playful shove.
Namjoon yelped and jumped aside. “Hey! I’m still bruised from when you punched my arm. Be gentle, please.”
“Oh, I’ll be gentle all right,” Seokjin said, pulling his fist back and shifting into a fighting stance.
Namjoon flexed his shoulders then, looming over Seokjin in an attempt to be menacing. All it did was make Seokjin laugh.
“Geez, you looked like you were going to Hulk out for a second there.”
“Don’t make me angry,” Namjoon said in a raspy voice. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
They both lapsed into a fit of giggles. Namjoon started gathering up some books to restock.
“Did I really bruise your arm?” Seokjin asked.
Namjoon shrugged. “Maybe a little. It’s not bad, though.”
“I’m sorry. I get carried away sometimes. Don’t know my own strength.”
“You and me both,” Namjoon said with a laugh. “If you’re feeling really bad about it you can buy me a coffee tomorrow.”
Seokjin smirked. “Don’t you think you should be buying me a coffee since I took your horrible advice?”
Seokjin didn’t really think Namjoon’s advice had been horrible, but it was fun to tease him about it. Besides, joking about the whole situation was making him feel better. All of the bad feelings were slowly lifting from his shoulders and floating away like dust.
Namjoon chuckled from behind a book rack. “Okay, okay, I’ll buy you a coffee tomorrow since I made you suffer so horribly. Straight black, right?”
“Eugh!” Seokjin said as he wiped down the counter. “No way. I need to have something sweet in it or I can’t drink it.”
Just then someone entered the store. Seokjin figured it was a customer and glanced up with a smile.
His smile faded immediately when he saw it was Jimin from the menswear shop.
So much for the bad feelings floating away. Seokjin wished more than anything that he could duck down behind the counter or maybe unzip a hole in the floor and dive through it, but there was nothing he could do. Jimin had seen him and was walking towards him, wearing a nice black peacoat and a penitent expression.
Seokjin tried to look as neutral as possible and waited to see what Jimin would do. In the meantime, something caught his attention beyond the door and out in the mall - it was Taehyung, milling about, reading something on his phone. He was clearly waiting for Jimin but seemed to have no interest in what Jimin was doing.
What was Jimin doing?
He approached the register where Seokjin stood and smiled at him warmly.
“Hi,” he said, having the grace to look a little chagrined. “I wanted to apologize. For earlier.” This time there was no trace of an accent in his voice.
Seokjin’s eyes fluttered downward a moment, the embarrassment feeling fresh again. Deep inside him, though, a tiny flame of anger sparked. Surprising himself, he looked Jimin right in the eye and said, “No need to apologize. I love making people laugh.” He smiled wryly.
Jimin blinked, then waved a hand in the air. “No, no...it wasn’t like that. We weren’t laughing at you. We were laughing at me. We didn’t intend to be rude. Although we definitely were, and I feel terrible about it. We both do.”
Jimin looked so sincere that Seokjin’s mild indignation was snuffed out. His face softened as he waited for Jimin to explain.
Jimin gestured at Taehyung, who, from his vantage point in the mall corridor, glanced up as if summoned. Noting Seokjin’s eyes on him, he clamped his lips together in a curt smile before looking back at his phone.
“My friend and I...we get bored sometimes and make little challenges for each other, “ Jimin continued. “I challenged him to talk to the next customer in an accent. But he chickened out so I did it instead. I had no idea you worked here in the mall. It was very unprofessional, and I’m sorry. If you want to come by another time I promise we can help you find a really nice tie.”
Jimin’s words were so measured and polite, his voice so soft and kind, his smile so cherubic, Seokjin couldn’t help but feel forgiveness blooming in his heart. He also felt incredibly relieved that they hadn’t been laughing at something he did, or how he looked, but at their own antics.
Seokjin gave Jimin a shy smile to show that he accepted the apology. “Okay,” he muttered. “Maybe I’ll stop by.”
Jimin brightened then, nearly beaming, and it made Seokjin’s face turn red.
“Good,” he said. “I look forward to it.”
With that, Jimin nodded goodbye and exited the store. Seokjin’s eyes followed him and watched him meet up with Taehyung, who glanced at Seokjin blankly before they both took off.
Seokjin let out a long breath. He glanced around the store and saw Namjoon peek out from behind the rack where he had been stocking books and no doubt eavesdropping on the entire conversation.
“Well, that was interesting,” he drawled, making his way over to Seokjin. “Did they close up early just to come by and apologize to you?”
Seokjin felt himself blushing furiously. “Apparently so. Nice of them, eh?” He went to the store computer and started signing off, trying to focus on their closing-up tasks and not at how silly he felt.
“I assume that was Jimin?” Namjoon asked then.
Seokjin could hear the smile in his voice.
“Yep,” he said, still trying to appear unfazed. He didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed by this whole situation, but he just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. He needed to rest his brain and think over the events of the day.
“Well,” said Namjoon, clapping a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder. “Tortoise definitely knows who you are now.”
Seokjin hmphed and said no more.
Ah yes, Tortoise.
Taehyung had been civil to him, from afar, but he hadn’t shown any interest at all in talking to him, not in the menswear shop, nor in the bookstore. Jimin had done all the talking, both times. If Taehyung had felt even a hint of attraction towards Seokjin, wouldn’t he have taken the opportunity to talk to him in either one of those instances? Instead, he remained a remote observer, circling whatever had happened with Seokjin and Jimin, barely acknowledging it.
Seokjin’s plan to talk to Taehyung had failed, utterly. There was no point now in pursuing this...non-possibility. At least now he could move on with his lonely existence and try not to think about it.
***
The next morning on his way to work, Seokjin got Namjoon a coffee. He handed it to him in the breakroom before they opened up the store and apologized for being such a brat.
Namjoon laughed and thanked him. “I didn’t get you one,” he said.
“I was only teasing about that,” Seokjin replied.
He hurried off then, feeling a little self-conscious and worried he might say something sappy. Namjoon had been so very kind and patient with him lately, encouraging him and helping him out, and even though a coffee couldn’t even begin to convey his gratitude, it would have to do for now.
He had slept like an absolute log the night before, as if free from all his worries and obsessions. The silly incident at the menswear shop, Jimin’s heartfelt apology, and this superficial crush on Taehyung were already on the fringes of his memory, ready to be forgotten.
He felt renewed. He felt like himself again, his old self that might have been lonely but didn’t let it affect him much. The Ice Prince had returned.
In this fortified state of mind, Seokjin worked steadily through the morning, helping customers with a gallant smile glued on his face, humming along with the Christmas music playing overhead, and carrying out his tasks with a brisk and confident diligence.
Just as he was about to go on his morning break, he was accosted by Yoongi.
“You okay?” Yoongi asked.
Seokjin looked at him oddly. “Yeah. Why?”
“Are you gunning for Employee of the month or something? You’re so...chipper.” He said that last word as if it pained him.
Seokjin wiggled his eyebrows. “Ooh, do I get a raise if I win?”
“No. It doesn’t even exist.”
“Ahh, too bad,” said Seokjin, inching away to indicate that he was eager to go on his break.
“Did something happen with Tortoise?” Yoongi asked, and Seokjin froze.
“Tortoise? Oh, that whole thing is over.” He didn’t feel like telling Yoongi about the absolute failure of his plan to talk to Taehyung. He himself didn’t want to think about it at all. Easier to just brush it off.
Yoongi tilted his head, looking thoroughly confused. “Over? What happened?”
“I’m done with it.” Seokjin waved his hands dismissively. “My crush is non-existent. In fact I’m done with crushes. From now on I’m going to live a completely celibate life.”
He had said too much. He could tell Yoongi wasn’t buying any of it. “Did you talk to him?” he asked, ignoring everything Seokjin had said.
“No,” Seokjin answered sheepishly. He didn’t elaborate.
Yoongi just shook his head as if deeply disappointed and tottered off.
For his break, Seokjin sat in the back room, munching on animal crackers and playing a game on his phone. It was a very relaxing fifteen minutes, and he nearly sprang up to go back to work when his time was up.
When he went back out into the store, he saw Namjoon staring at him expectantly from behind the counter. Seokjin strode up to him.
“What is it?” he asked.
Namjoon pointed at something on the ledge behind the upper part of the counter.
“You got a present.”
Seokjin looked and saw a huge boba tea drink in a clear plastic cup with a dome lid and a wide pink plastic straw. The liquid inside was a deep yellow-orange color, with dark tapioca pearls resting at the bottom.
“Namjoon,” laughed Seokjin. “I told you you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“It’s not from me,” Namjoon said ominously.
“Well, who brought it?”
Namjoon shrugged. “A girl from the smoothie shop. There’s a card with it.” He pointed at a little envelope next to the drink. It said, “For Seokjin”.
Seokjin stared at the envelope like it might suddenly leap up and bite him in the neck. “What the…” he murmured, approaching it cautiously. He gave Namjoon a wide-eyed look before lifting the envelope and opening it.
Inside was a simple white card, which read:
I heard you like sweet things. :)
Jimin 555-xxxx
“Holy shit,” Seokjin said under his breath. He didn’t swear often, but this situation called for it.
“What?” Namjoon asked. “What is it?!”
Seokjin simply handed him the card. He read it and gaped at Seokjin.
“Holy shit is right! You got a number!”
Just then Yoongi appeared, like a moth to a flame. “You got a number?” he said, smiling at Seokjin. “So much for the celibate life, eh?”
Seokjin side-eyed Yoongi. “It’s not from Tortoise,” he said.
“Oh. Well then, who is it? A satisfied customer?”
Seokjin didn’t answer. He was feeling intensely self-conscious all of a sudden. He glanced out into the mall, as if he expected to see Jimin watching him, as if this were another big joke they were playing on him, but he only saw a woman pushing a stroller.
“Either he still feels really really sorry, or...he’s into you,” Namjoon offered. “I’m inclined to think it’s the latter.”
Seokjin just stared at the card for a moment, then put it back in the envelope.
“He’s just being nice,” he said, shoving the envelope into his pocket.
“Seokjin, it’s practically a pick-up line. Plus he bought you a drink. A really...yummy-looking drink.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. I bought you a drink this morning, and I’m not trying to pick you up.”
Yoongi slammed his hands on the counter. “You guys never make any sense. What is going on?”
Namjoon glanced at Seokjin and kept his mouth shut, perhaps remembering when he had blabbed about Seokjin’s personal life to Yoongi before and been socked for it.
Seokjin sighed. “It’s nothing, Yoongi.”
Yoongi wasn’t going to let it go. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll make you work late.”
“You can’t do that.”
“You want to try me?”
Seokjin gulped. He fished the envelope back out of his pocket and handed it to Yoongi. “So nosy,” he muttered as Yoongi opened it up.
Yoongi’s eyes grew huge as he read the card. “Oh, Seokjin,” he said. “Oh mannn.” He started laughing then. “You’re in way over your head, do you realize that?”
Seokjin snatched the card back. “What do you mean?”
“This is from Jimin, Taehyung’s friend, right?”
Seokjin nodded slowly. Yoongi looked way too delighted by this.
“He’s a huge flirt. If he has his sights set on you, you’re dead meat.”
“Yikes,” said Seokjin. He rubbed the side of his neck, feeling fidgety. “How do you know that?”
“Hobi has told me stories about him. He has kind of a reputation among his friends.”
Seokjin blanched. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Namjoon scoot out from behind the counter to go help a customer, so he moved closer to Yoongi and lowered his voice. “What does that mean exactly? Is he a love ‘em and leave ‘em type?”
“Not necessarily. I don’t think he’s a player or anything like that. He’s just...very persistent. And very, um, adventurous in bed.” Yoongi whispered that last bit even though the customer was out of earshot and talking to Namjoon.
“I see,” said Seokjin, feeling a blush take over his neck and face. He couldn’t believe he and Yoongi were discussing the topic of sex, however obliquely. It just wasn’t something they ever brought up. They worked in a children’s bookstore, for pete’s sake.
“So are you gonna call him?” Yoongi asked in his normal voice then, as if he hadn’t even mentioned that whole adventurous in bed thing two seconds ago.
Seokjin didn’t know how to answer that. He hadn’t really thought about it yet. Part of him still thought maybe this was just another prank they were playing on him. How could he possibly be Jimin’s type? Jimin was gorgeous and classy and wore shiny jewelry and could probably charm the pants off of anyone he wanted. Why would he want Seokjin with his choppy haircut and outdated sweaters and awkward demeanor?
But then, wasn’t Taehyung gorgeous and classy, too? Why had Seokjin thought Taehyung could be a possibility, but not Jimin? Hadn’t he thought Taehyung was like some godly being who was unlikely to give him the time of day? And yet he had tried to talk to him, in some vain hope of seeing his attraction to him returned. It was completely audacious, and yet he had dared to dream it.
And now here was Jimin, equally beautiful, being sweet to him, buying him a drink, giving him his number. It was like some kind of miracle.
If Taehyung had liked him, that would have been a miracle, too.
“I don’t know,” Seokjin finally said. “What you said basically scared the living daylights out of me.”
Another customer entered the store just then, and Yoongi patted Seokjin on the arm before disappearing.
It was lunchtime before Seokjin did anything about the card. For the rest of the morning he sipped on his boba tea, which was a delicious mango flavor, and thought about his options. He wanted to talk to Namjoon about it, but he wasn’t sure when they would get some down time. He wished they could go to lunch together somewhere and talk, but they had to cover each other’s breaks that day.
So he spent his lunch alone, tucked into a quiet corner of the little dumpling shop at the far end of the mall, staring at his phone. He didn’t exactly want to give Jimin an invitation to flirt with him some more, because honestly, he wasn’t sure he could handle it, plus there was still that paranoid worry in his head that it could be another prank. But he didn’t want to be rude, either.
He put Jimin as a contact in his phone and opened his text messages. He sent one polite sentence: Thank you for the drink. No emojis, no smiley, nothing for Jimin to latch onto. Setting his phone down on the table, he went back to eating his shrimp dumplings.
Less than a minute later, his phone vibrated against the table, whistling the text message notification. Seokjin almost jumped backwards. He eyed the phone warily for a few moments before picking it up.
Jimin: You’re welcome. Was it sweet enough?
Seokjin felt his arms tingle. Jimin was definitely flirting with him. Even as naive as Seokjin was, he could tell.
Was this really happening? Was Jimin genuinely interested, or was it just a challenge between Jimin and Taehyung to see if they could embarrass and humiliate that dorky bookstore clerk? Jimin had seemed so very sincere in his apology the day before, so genuinely sweet...no, this was real. This couldn’t be a prank.
So if Jimin was serious, then what?
He was still scared and didn’t want to lead Jimin on. And he couldn’t really flirt anyway; he had never been good at it.
Seokjin rubbed his forehead with his fingers. If Jimin had just said, “You’re welcome,” he could have left it at that and not replied. But he had asked a question. And scared or not, Seokjin couldn’t stand to be impolite and leave a question hanging like that.
He waited so long to reply that his phone went dark. He finished up his dumplings, took a swig of his soda, and turned his phone back on.
Seokjin: Yes.
It was a simple response - just one harmless word - but somehow Seokjin felt embarrassed by it. Maybe he shouldn’t have put a period after it. Leaving it off would have been more casual. With the period, it had a sense of decisiveness about it. And Seokjin felt anything but decisive right now.
He was overthinking again.
Standing up, he shoved his phone into his pocket, deposited his trash, and headed back to the bookstore.
By the time he got back, he had received two more texts from Jimin.
Jimin: I’m glad. :)
Jimin: You coming in to get your tie today? It’s so dead here, I could use something to do.
Hoo boy. It sounded innocent enough. But Seokjin’s palms started to sweat just thinking about it. He had one more break this afternoon. Did he dare go down there? It was only fifteen minutes. If things got awkward, he could say he had to get back to work.
But did he want to see Jimin?
“Namjoooooon,” he whined as his co-worker traveled past to go on his own lunch break. “I need your advice again.”
Namjoon laughed. He had a book in his hand and an insulated lunch bag in the other. Seokjin knew he was going to sit in the food court and read while he ate.
“You sure about that? My advice didn’t work out so well last time.”
“Your advice got me into a whole heap of trouble, and now I need advice on how to get out of it.”
“Ask Yoongi!” Namjoon said as he exited the store, giving Seokjin a cheeky wave.
Seokjin put his head in his hands. How had he gone from being lovesick over an attractive stranger to having a completely different attractive stranger basically hitting on him?
Again, Jimin had asked a question, and Seokjin was too considerate to just let it go. Glancing around the store, he saw a couple of customers at the back of the store, still browsing. Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. He turned on his phone and responded to Jimin.
Seokjin: Only if you talk to me in a funny accent.
Oh shoot. He was flirting back. Without even trying. What was he thinking? Had he lost his mind?
It’s okay, he told himself. It could still be considered friendly and not flirtatious. He was just making a joke to lighten the mood. To show that he harbored no ill will towards Jimin.
Jimin: lol, I’ll do my best :)
Seokjin smiled. He was weirdly enjoying this. In a completely friendly, non-flirty way. Maybe if he thought of it that way, it wouldn’t be so terrifying. Maybe he and Jimin could be friends.
In the back of his mind, Yoongi’s words echoed: You’re in way over your head, do you realize that?