Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Reading the fan fic had actually been Jimin’s idea. At first, Jungkook had been slightly taken aback by his boyfriend’s suggestion. Wasn’t that weird – reading a story about fictional versions of themselves fucking? But when Jimin had started reading, his voice breathy and deep, Jungkook had quickly found himself lost in the words and massively turned on. There hadn’t been much to the story – just Jimin and Jungkook stealing a moment to suck each other off against the mirrored wall after dance rehearsal before finally fucking in the shower – but the details had made it easy for Jungkook to imagine Jimin’s real tongue tracing the curves of his body and his real fingers gripping into his hair.

The sex that had followed Jimin’s reading had been phenomenal, Jungkook’s lips melding to Jimin’s throat as he read, and then Jungkook pinning Jimin down on the mattress and fucking him hard, well into the night.

“You really liked that,” Jimin had said as he had stroked Jungkook’s hair afterwards, and the truth was that Jungkook really, really had.

A few days afterward, following a particularly long day, when all Jungkook had wanted was to change into some comfy clothing and kiss his boyfriend silly, Jimin hadn’t been able to make it to Jungkook’s place as planned, so as compensation, Jimin had sent Jungkook a link to a second story.

This one is my favorite. I actually read it often. ❤️ Enjoy and think of me.

In this new story, Jimin was a ballerina, delicate and small, and Jungkook was a biker, all leather and muscle. Who they were in their lives, however, did not reflect who they desired to be in the bedroom – Jungkook longing to be dominated and Jimin seeking to control.

Jungkook had read the story, his hand at first just trailing across his bare chest, pausing to pinch lightly at his hard nipples, but when the Jimin in the story had pushed Jungkook against the counter and yanked down his leather pants only to find a black lacy thong underneath… Jungkook had once again been able to feel it all – the cool counter under his cheek, the lace thong pulled taunt over the side of his ass, Jimin’s hips crashing into him over and over while he called Jungkook his slut and smacked his thighs. With each word he had read, Jungkook had felt more and more like Jimin was actually with him, closing his eyes and stroking himself until he had exploded in his own hand, his boyfriend’s name on his lips.

It was the third story that Jungkook had read that really established his new fan fic obsession. He had been in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet searching his phone for something to read. Having, apparently, having exhausted the Internet of all things interesting, Jungkook had found himself opening the link Jimin had sent him and clicking on the “JiKook” tag at the top of the page. When a seemingly endless number of results had filtered down the page, Jungkook had clicked the first one and started reading.

Twenty minutes later, legs numb from dangling over the seat of the toilet for so long, Jungkook had found himself completely lost in the words on his screen (in this fic, Jungkook was a small-town firefighter and Jimin was his childhood boyfriend who has recently moved back home only to discover that Jungkook still loves him). There had been much less sex in this story – though what smut scenes there were still had been hot – and Jungkook found himself connecting more to the emotions of the characters and their struggles to simply confess what they feel. Frankly, it had reminded Jungkook of the earlier days when he had been madly in love with Jimin but unable to tell him, instead memorizing his face from behind cameras and declaring his love to his own empty room, face buried in his pillow in the middle of the dark night. When the story had ended, Jungkook and Jimin happy and in love, Jungkook had felt his chest swell, seeing his love for his own boyfriend perfectly mirrored in the characters.

Now, as Jungkook reads what just might be his hundredth JiKook fic, Jimin just lifts his eyebrows and shakes his head.

“I created a monster, didn’t I?” Jimin asks as he crosses his arms and stands at the foot of the bed where Jungkook is laying, reading away on his phone. “I can’t even get alone time with my boyfriend without fictional versions of ourselves rearing their heads. It’s like I’m somehow cock blocking myself.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jungkook says, shutting off his phone and tossing it onto the bed. “Who said anything about blocking any cocks? Come here.”

Jimin sticks out his lower lip and pouts, shaking his head. Pulling himself off the bed, Jungkook crosses to Jimin, wrapping his arms around his waist and hauling him off the floor while Jimin giggles and slaps playfully at his arms. Dropping his boyfriend onto the bed, Jungkook crawls over top of him, caging him with his arms. When he leans down to kiss him, Jimin turns his head away.

“You’re probably not even reading stories about us anymore. You’ve probably moved on to NamKook stories. I always knew it was just a matter of time before I lost you to that beefcake – especially now that Namjoon’s arms are so damn big.”

Jungkook can’t help but grin widely at the man beneath him. He decides to play along with his pouting boyfriend’s teasing, nuzzling his lips against Jimin’s jaw as he speaks.

“Namjoon does look damn good in those tight gym shirts.”

Jimin closes his eyes and tilts his head back to better accommodate Jungkook’s lips on his throat. “Mmmmm, so I should start working out more to keep you interested? Get all swole like Namjoon?”

Jungkook shakes his head against Jimin’s neck. “Definitely not. My baby has to stay small so I can take care of him. Tuck you right into my pocket and bring you everywhere with me.”

“Hey! I’m not that much smaller than you!”

“You are,” Jungkook says, kissing behind Jimin’s ear before trailing his mouth to Jimin’s lips. “My tiny baby.”

“Not so tiny,” Jimin says between kisses.

Jungkook just hums into Jimin’s mouth as his hands slide down to cup his ass. “Not so tiny,” he agrees.

After losing themselves in kisses for a while, Jimin pulls away before things can escalate further.

“Ugh, I have to go,” he says, pressing his forehead to Jungkook’s.

“Taehyung can wait,” Jungkook says. He tries to kiss Jimin again, but Jimin is wiggling out from under him, shoving at Jungkook’s arms until he rolls on his side and Jimin can jump to his feet.

“Last time I was supposed to hang out with Tae, I was over an hour late because of you, and I still haven’t heard the end of it.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I could just come with you, you know.”

“Sorry,” Jimin says, shaking his head as he straightens his hair in the mirror. “Soulmates only.”

Jungkook pretends to look hurt, clutching at his chest, and Jimin lets out a burst of laughter, his eyes scrunching closed.

“See you tomorrow at rehearsals, okay?” Jimin leans over and gives Jungkook one last peck. “Love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jungkook says, and Jimin, grabbing his bag, hurries out the door.

With the night to himself, Jungkook has no real plans, but Jimin mentioning NamKook has ignited a small spark of curiosity inside of him. All of the fics that Jungkook has read so far have been JiKook related, and while some of them have had small side relationships between other members, Jungkook hasn’t given any real attention to stories where he or Jimin date anyone else. Frankly, Jungkook finds the thought of reading about himself dating one of the other members a little disquieting, but now that he’s started thinking about it, he can’t get the thought of stories about Jimin with other members out of his head.

While part of him finds the idea of Jimin meshing well with any of the other members a bit preposterous, the other part is, admittedly, curious about who ARMY imagines Jimin fits well with. Would they pair Jimin with Hoseok – both so kind and talented in the way they move their bodies? Undoubtedly, there would be a lot of fic about Taehyung and Jimin, especially since the two men are largely inseparable in real life. And Namjoon and Jimin – one so small and the other so very large… Is it strange that Jungkook’s a little turned on at the thought of reading about his boyfriend fucking his friends? Jungkook thinks it probably is, but – fuck it – what harm could it do to look. With several questions running through his mind, Jungkook opens his phone and does a quick search: most popular ship Jimin BTS.

When the results come back, Jungkook isn’t surprised to see his name next to Jimin’s often, nor is he shocked to see a lot of people rooting for a VMin match up. What he is surprised about, however, is the crazy amount of people supporting a love match between Jimin and Yoongi.

“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook says to himself, his voice laced with disbelief. He lets out a small snort of laughter. Yoongi is the last person he can picture Jimin with. “There’s no way.”

In all actuality, Jungkook has to admit that every member of BTS is maybe a little in love with Yoongi in their own way – always trying to please and impress him like his opinions weigh more heavily than everyone else’s. Man, to get praise from Yoongi… nothing could make you feel cooler or more talented. But Yoongi as a boyfriend? As a lover? The idea of his bubbly boyfriend, so loud and bright, being with Yoongi who is often so serious and lost in thought makes Jungkook shake his head. He just can’t see it.

Logically, Jungkook decides that he needs to know more about this popular ship. Chuckling slightly at the ridiculous thought of Jimin and Yoongi being in love, he pulls up the fan fic web site and starts his search. He’s positively stupefied when the number of YoonMin results far surpass that of the JiKook stories he’s been reading. With nothing but time on his hands, Jungkook settles into the bed, sorts by popular, takes a deep breath, and dives in.

*******

By morning, Jungkook has read a countless amount of the most popular stories about Yoongi and Jimin, ranging from two thousand word shorts all the way to four hundred-thousand-word epics. He finishes the longest of stories - where Yoongi is the crime boss of Seoul and Jimin is a succubus who is dragged into his dangerous life – just as his alarm is set to go off, tears in his eyes and a knot in his throat as the story comes to a close. He’s read so many stories that he can’t even remember the details of most of them, but there is plenty that sticks in his mind – lots of stories that he absolutely loved.

In one such story, Jimin is a rich lonely man and Yoongi is a poor pizza delivery guy who, against all odds, find happiness in each other’s arms. In another – a story that Jungkook had particularly loved - Jimin and Yoongi are reincarnated lovers from the Joseon period, Yoongi a prince and Jimin a painter. The story is tragic and sweeping, and Jungkook wouldn’t be ashamed to admit he cried several times while reading it. In yet another fic that sticks out in his mind, Yoongi is a lonely CEO who makes a sex-pact with Jimin after Jimin accidentally ruins his shirt. The story is funny and sweet and goddamn filthy. Jungkook had loved it.

In his long night of reading, Jungkook had encountered just about every romantic trope out there - from Jimin confessing his love accidentally when drunk, to Yoongi revealing his feelings the only way he knows how: through music. Jungkook even took a chance on something called an A/B/O fic, reading a really lovely little story about Jimin and Yoongi having a baby together. He thought he would be weirded out reading this one (Jimin pregnant?!), but he had actually recognized a great amount of the real Jimin in the character version, and by the end of the story, Jungkook had found himself wondering something new - what kind of parent Jimin would be if they someday were lucky enough to have a family of their own.

Lacking sleep and overwhelmed by all the words he’s consumed, Jungkook has so many questions and feelings. There is a lot to digest – a lot of kissing and fucking and blow jobs. There was definitely an exorbitant amount of ass eating (maybe Jungkook should start doing that more), as well a myriad of kinks (some of which Jungkook had taken special note to try out later). Jungkook is also really surprised to find that Jimin bottoms in almost every story he’s read. Is it strange that he feels bad for all the fictional Yoongis who really don’t know what they’re missing by not switching it up? Aside from all the weird thoughts about sex between Jimin and Yoongi that are jostling in Jungkook’s head, the craziest thing of all to consider is that Jungkook just spent the entire night mentally rooting for his boyfriend and his friend to get together.

All this and more runs through Jungkook’s mind as he forces himself to put down his phone so that he can shower and get ready for dance rehearsal. In the car, he tries to focus on answering emails and texts that he’s been neglecting, but his mind keeps wandering back to his favorite moments from the stories the night before. By the time the car is pulling up at Hybe, Jungkook finds he’s wasted most of his time lost in daydreams.

“Kookie!”

Jimin skips across the dance studio floor and embraces Jungkook in a tight hug when he walks into the room a few minutes later. They usually keep PDA to a minimum for obvious reasons, but there’s no one in the studio now aside from Taehyung, so Jungkook kisses him lightly on the lips.

“Missed you,” Jimin says, rubbing his nose lightly over Jungkook’s.

“Did you and Tae have fun?”

Jimin nods. “We drank and gossiped and watched movies – the usual.”

“Another successful soulmate sleepover!” says Taehyung, walking up and throwing his arms around the couple.“With our next one already scheduled!”

“Yah,” Jungkook says, playfully pushing Taehyung back and wrapping his arms around Jimin’s waist to pull him away. “You’re always stealing Jimin from me. Go get your own boyfriend!”

Jimin throws his head back and laughs as Jungkook walks him backwards, pressing him against the wall by the door to the studio and peppering his face with little kisses. A wide smile spreads over Jungkook’s face as Jimin giggles and runs his hands through the back of Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook is just slotting their mouths together in a deeper kiss when Jimin is suddenly ducking out of his arms.

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin says, and Jungkook notices Yoongi standing at the doorway next to them.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” he says sarcastically, crossing the room and setting his messenger bag on a chair by the mirrors. Jimin skips over to his side, leaning against the chair that Yoongi has thrown himself down in.

“Oh, Yoongi-hyung, you look so nice today. Tae, doesn’t Yoongi-hyung look nice?”

Taehyung glances up in the mirror, running his eyes slowly over Yoongi.

“Yoongi-hyung always looks nice,” he says before turning back to the phone in his hand.

Jungkook scans Yoongi up and down – tight black jeans with long slits at the knee, a white Fear of God t-shirt, a black and white flannel, and a black beanie pulled down over his black hair. He looks just like he always does down to the same silver hoops that have been in his ears for months.

“Lookin’ like real boyfriend material,” Jimin says to Yoongi, and Jungkook swears he sees Jimin drop a little wink as he talks. Frowning, Jungkook walks over to the duo, his top lip twitching slightly with agitation.

“Boyfriend material?” Jungkook says, a joking lilt to his voice. “A grumpy old man like Yoongi-hyung?”

Jimin scoffs. “I think Yoongi would make the perfect boyfriend. He’s kind and talented. He’s always taking care of all of us – cooking for us and checking up on us all the time. Plus, he’s smokin’ hot.”

Jimin’s hands are on Yoongi’s shoulders as he speaks, massaging the muscles around his neck lightly. Yoongi’s head rolls back slightly, his mouth hanging open as he leans into Jimin’s touch.

“Taehyung, Jungkook doesn’t think Yoongi makes for good boyfriend material. What do you think?”

Taehyung smiles and walks over to the little group. “Hmmmm, Yoongi as a boyfriend…Yeah, I could see it. I think a person would be quite lucky to have someone like Yoongi-hyung in their lives.”

Yoongi seems already flustered by all the attention he’s getting, but his face turns positively beet red when Jimin leans down over his shoulder and speaks just loud enough for everyone to hear. “And, who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that tongue technology he brags so much about.”

Leaving Yoongi squirming in his chair, Jimin links his arm with Taehyung’s and the two make their way to the other side of the studio, whispering and giggling. Jungkook plops into the chair next to Yoongi and the two men watch as Jimin and Taehyung begin to work through their stretches on the floor, Jimin leaning over Taehyung’s curled back to help push him closer to the ground.

“What was that all about?” Jungkook asks, still thinking about Jimin’s hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and Yoongi’s pink, flushed cheeks.

Yoongi shrugs, now keeping his eyes low, focusing on his fingers as he picks at the skin around his thumbnail. Jungkook’s about to say more, but the rest of the members along with several staff enter the room and suddenly it’s time to get to work, Yoongi moving over to Hoseok to warm up while Jungkook positions himself closer to Jimin and Tae. Soon, music is blaring through the speakers as Hoseok starts running through the moves to refresh everyone’s memory.

Jungkook has never been a jealous boyfriend. When it’s you and your boyfriend’s jobs to, basically, flirt for a living, jealousy is pretty much pointless. Knowing that Jimin has always been a touchy-feely kind of person, Jungkook has never once begrudged him the comfort of a cuddle from the other members. Jungkook himself loves to occasionally revel in the skinship amongst the band, sleeping nestled among his brothers or relaxing into the cozy arms of his friends.

But now, there is something new nagging at Jungkook’s brain, and it doesn’t take him long to realize why the earlier interaction has made him uncomfortable – the stories. His sleep deprived brain is currently still awash in the many words he had read the night before extoling Yoongi and Jimin as the be-all-end-all couple.  Seeing Jimin’s hands on Yoongi - seeing Yoongi blush shyly under Jimin’s gaze – it had reminded Jungkook of the things he had read, and realizing this, Jungkook laughs as he moves across the room.

Jeon Jungkook, he chastises himself as he dances. Look what you’ve done to yourself. Yoongi and Jimin? Your Jimin? How ridiculous to even entertain the possibility.

When they pause the dancing for a break, Jungkook digs a towel out of his bag, wiping down his face and neck before taking a swig from his water bottle. Looking across the room, he sees Jimin and Yoongi, backs turned to the room and faces close together. Both men have serious looks on their face as they whisper back and forth, and as Jungkook watches, a smile spreads across Jimin’s face as Yoongi blushes fiercely at something Jimin just said. Jungkook’s eyebrows knit together as he watches, and he again has to remind himself that his worries are all in his head.

They dance for a couple hours, sometimes stopping to joke and play, but mostly focused on getting the moves down pact, each member in their own little world as they work their bodies through the steps. At some point, Jungkook sits on the floor panting and Jimin falls next to him, resting his head on Jungkook’s laps, smiling up at him brilliantly as he tries to catch his breath. When Jungkook pushes Jimin’s sweaty hair back from his forehead and Jimin rubs at Jungkook’s thighs to help calm the tense muscles, Jungkook’s foolish thoughts from early melt away completely.

They don’t stay away long, though. At the end of practice, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jimin are standing together by the door as Jungkook finishes packing his bag. Jimin’s laugh rings out across the room, and Jungkook looks over in time to see Jimin leaning into Yoongi, grabbing at his arm as he laughs. Taehyung is also laughing (with his hands kept to himself, some part of Jungkook’s mind registers) as Yoongi smiles broadly, apparently having just said something highly amusing.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook says as he walks over to the group, pushing his bag back on his shoulder. As he nears the men, Jimin drops his hand from Yoongi’s arm and steps back to make space for Jungkook who is trying to squeeze between them. Jungkook throws his arm around Jimin’s shoulder, pulling him close and completely missing the odd look Jimin throws at him.

“Hyung just told the funniest joke,” Jimin says, his voice high and loud. “He’s just too funny, as always.”

“Yoongi?” Jungkook says, and he drops the ‘hyung’ purposely, despite himself. “He might be many things, but ‘funny’ is not one of them. Sorry…hyung.” He adds the small apology at the last second, disliking the words coming out of his mouth but unable to stop them. Taehyung chuckles uncomfortably, and Yoongi scowls at Jungkook.

“I think hyung is very funny,” Jimin retorts, shaking off Jungkook’s arm. Jungkook feels shamed by his boyfriend’s glaring eyes.

“But definitely not as funny as me…your boyfriend.” Jungkook wants to press his hands to his mouth to stop himself from speaking, but it’s too late. The men around him shuffle uncomfortably, saying nothing, while Jimin stares at Jungkook with his mouth hanging open.

“Hey,” Jin says, sidling up to the now awkward group, and Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief at being rescued. “I’m heading back to the group house. Anyone going that way want to ride with me?”

Yoongi seems about to say something, but Jimin pushes himself forward to interrupt. “Me and Tae are going to ride with Yoongi-hyung. Why don’t you take Jungkook with you?”

Jungkook can’t quite read the look in Jimin’s eyes, but if he has to guess, he thinks he’s in trouble. Jimin’s lips are a bit pinched, his eyes laced with a hardness that tells Jungkook that obeying his boyfriend’s wishes would be in his own best interest. He nods at Jin, shouting goodbye to Hoseok and Namjoon who are still practicing at one of the mirrors, before planting a small kiss on the side of Jimin’s head. Jimin stiffens as Jungkook leans in but doesn’t move away.

“See you at home,” he says quietly, and when Jimin nods curtly without looking up, Jungkook heads to the car with Jin, offering a small goodbye wave to Taehyung and Yoongi.

“I don’t know what you did,” Jin quips as they walk, “but it looks like Jimin is not very happy with you.”

Jungkook just keeps quiet, knowing he was acting ridiculously. He spends the ride home trying to figure out how he can best apologize and explain his ludicrous feelings and the reason behind them to Jimin.

*******

“What was that about during rehearsal?” Jimin says, stepping into Jungkook’s room and pulling the door closed behind him. He drops his bag at the foot of Jungkook’s bed where Jungkook is laying, looking at his phone. “You were being so rude – and don’t get me started on the way you were puffing out your chest like some baboon?”

Jungkook shakes his head. He has had nothing but time to think about what an ass he had been in the dance studio while he waited for Jimin to get home. He scoots himself to the edge of the bed next to Jimin, dropping his phone on his pillow.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” As he speaks, Jungkook reaches for Jimin’s hand, bringing Jimin’s fingertips to his lips and kissing each one. “I was just in a mood. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole.”

Jungkook is pleased to see Jimin’s eyes soften almost immediately. The car ride home must have given him time to work past some of his earlier annoyance.

“I just missed you from not seeing you the night before.” Jungkook wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, spreading his legs and pulling Jimin close against him. He nuzzles his face into Jimin’s abdomen, and Jimin reaches up to gently pat the top of Jungkook’s head.

Jungkook doesn’t mention the fact that he had been feeling a bit resentful over the attention Jimin had been giving to Yoongi. If he confessed to those feelings, Jungkook would also have to admit the inane reason behind his jealousy – that Jungkook had been so wrapped up in some fucking fan fics that he had allowed himself to partially believe in a fantasy.

“I couldn’t sleep without you last night, and I just wanted to get you alone.” Technically, everything Jungkook is saying is true. He barely feels guilt over his omission.

Jimin hums, still running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair.

“Well, I think you need to apologize to Yoongi-hyung. You were pretty rude to him.”

Jungkook feels his shoulders stiffen slightly at Jimin’s mention of the elder. He forces himself to relax, reminding himself that everything he had been feeling earlier was irrational and even a little crazy.

“I will,” he says, but Jungkook doesn’t want to talk about Yoongi. He leans back slightly and pushes the hem of Jimin’s white t-shirt up to reveal a sliver of honey-colored skin. Jungkook bends to trail his lips just above the waistband of Jimin’s pants, as Jimin’s eyes roll closed and his head lolls to the side.

“Gonna make it up to me, Kookie?” Jimin asks, his hands tightening in Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook smiles against Jimin’s skin, his fingers hooking into the edge of Jimin’s sweats just as he drops to his knees to prove his boyfriend (and to himself) that no one can please Jimin like he can.

*******

The next day, Jungkook and Jimin are late for their weekly Friday morning meeting. They had woken up early with the rest of house, but while everyone else had been busy piling into the company cars, Jungkook and Jimin had still been in the shower. Jimin would be quick to blame their tardiness on Jungkook’s roaming hands and hungry mouth, but Jungkook definitely thinks Jimin’s fine ass is the real reason they’re late all the time.

Now, still giddy from the morning’s activities, the two men scurry into the conference room, Jimin clutching at Jungkook’s arm as they apologize through their giggles. Jimin plunks down next to Taehyung, and Jungkook sits to his left.

“It’s fine,” Namjoon says, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “Yoongi isn’t here yet.”

Jungkook is about to comment on the crazy fact that Yoongi, of all people, is late, but just as he opens his mouth, Yoongi comes bustling through the door, an iced coffee in each hand and a small white bag held between his teeth. As he pauses in the doorway, glancing around the table, Jimin jumps to his feet and slaps at Jungkook’s arm.

“Move down one,” he says, shoving at Jungkook until he shifts into the chair next to him, Jimin following in his wake. Yoongi approaches the now empty chair next to Jimin, nodding in gratitude as he sets down the drinks and takes the bag from between his teeth.

“Thanks,” he says. “Sorry, everyone. The barista was new. Took for fucking ever.”

One of the staff starts talking, and Jungkook tries to turn his thoughts to the meeting. He actually manages to listen for a while, but his attention is drawn away when he hears a muffled snort of laughter from Jimin. His boyfriend is covering his mouth, face red from suppressed laughter. When Namjoon shoots a disapproving look across the table, Jimin clears his throat and sits up. He takes several gulps of the drink in his hand, chewing lightly on the straw as he pretends to listen. Jungkook notices Yoongi smirking in his seat, an identical cup in his hand.

Yoongi brought coffee for Jimin?

Jungkook’s mind immediately wanders to a place he doesn’t want it to go – a fictitious place where Yoongi and Jimin meet up in a coffee shop, hands linked over the table as they smile coyly at one another…

Suddenly, Jimin bursts out in another fit of giggles, and Jungkook is pulled from his reverie. Now Taehyung is also trying not to laugh, a red-faced Yoongi between them. Dirty looks abound from several people across the table, and as they glare, Jimin stands, leaning over to smack Taehyung.

“I’m so sorry,” Jimin says, pressing his lips together to stop his mouth from curling up in a smile. “Excuse us for a second but, please, keep going. Jungkook will fill us in on what we miss.”

Jungkook nods automatically as Jimin and Taehyung flee the room, a loud burst of laughter easily heard the second the heavy door closes behind them. Jungkook, eyebrows raised, looks at Yoongi whose cheeks flame even darker crimson. As Yoongi turns to focus on the woman speaking, Jungkook eyes him up and down, realizing that Yoongi looks good – better than usual. Instead of his usual ripped pants and oversized t-shirt, Yoongi is wearing tight black jeans and a black button-up shirt, sleeves open and rolled to his elbows. His leather belt complements his sleek black boots, and his expensive silver watch matches the jewelry around his neck and wrist. The usual hat is not on Yoongi’s head – instead, his black hair looks fluffy and tamed. On top of everything, Jungkook notices the strong scent of Yoongi’s perfume – a fragrance, Jungkook knows, that he usually reserves for special occasions.

Jungkook swallows hard and closes his eyes. He pulls into his mind the image of Jimin from the night before – head thrown back, a moan escaping his lips as Jungkook works over him with his mouth. I love you, Kookie, he had said over and over, and Jungkook believes it – both then and now. Still he can’t completely muffle the voice whispering in the back of his mind.

He’s older…He’s smarter…He’s more talented – more accomplished…He’s sexier…He’s better…

Jungkook startles and opens his eyes, feeling a hand trailing over his shoulders. Jimin is back, and as he lowers himself into his chair, he looks at Jungkook with his forehead pinched with concern. He reaches under the table and rests his hand near Jungkook’s knee, cocking his head as if questioning whether or not Jungkook is okay. Jungkook offers a smile – a genuine smile as he exhales and lets go of the negative thoughts crowding his brain. He rests his hand on top of Jimin’s and squeezes his small fingers in reassurance.

The rest of the meeting goes by quickly, and Jungkook manages to pay attention to at least half of what’s being said. As everyone is finishing up, Namjoon talking to the producers in the room, Hoseok calls Jungkook and Jin over to talk about their new subunit song. Hoseok runs through an idea he’s had about the future stage performance of their song – something about steps and clocks. They discuss a few of the details and agree that Hoseok’s idea is worth elaborating, then the conversation devolves when Jin starts talking about lunch and Jungkook’s attention wanders back across the table.

Taehyung and Yoongi are still in their seats, but Jimin is now sitting on the table, his feet resting on his chair. As Jungkook watches, Jimin reaches over and touches Yoongi’s hair, rolling a small section of dark tresses gently between his fingers. Taehyung reaches over and does the same thing, but Yoongi doesn’t look at him. Instead, his wide eyes stay on Jimin. Jimin says something and all three men laugh. Then Yoongi reaches over and pats Jimin’s thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze, before rising to his feet and turning to ask Taehyung something. There’s a big smile on Yoongi’s face – wide and gummy – and Jimin’s eyes are little scrunched up crescents as he pops off the table and begins to gather his things.

Jungkook knows he’s staring. He can feel his mouth hanging slightly open, his lips already dry from his warm, heavy breath, so he runs his tongue over his lips then rubs them together. He hears Jin and Hoseok laughing next to him, so he offers a small chuckle as if to prove he’s been paying attention, then he excuses himself from the little group and turns toward the meeting room door.

“Hey, Jungkook!” Jimin bounces over to Jungkook before he can leave the room, linking their arms together. “Where are you running off to?”

Jungkook looks at Jimin, trying to keep the ice from his stare. 

“Bathroom,” he says, keeping it simple. Jimin looks him over, a small frown on his face, then nods.

“What do you say we go back to mine after this? Maybe watch a movie and cuddle on the couch? I need some Kookie time.”

Jimin leans over to nuzzle at Jungkook’s face, rubbing their noses together lightly before placing a small kiss on his cheek. Jungkook feels himself thawing, relaxing under the touch of the man he loves.

“Yeah, baby,” he says, slipping his arm around Jimin’s waist. “That sounds nice.”

He gives Jimin a little squeeze then slips out of the room, heading for one of the private bathrooms down the hall. When the door is locked behind him, Jungkook leans against the sink and looks at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t like being the envious, resentful boyfriend he’s been lately, and Jungkook is struggling to understand the dark feelings swirling around inside him. What was he doing? How could he doubt Jimin, even for a second? Even as he questions himself and his wild emotional swings, Jungkook’s traitorous mind calls up the image of Jimin sitting on the conference table, gently fingering Yoongi’s hair as Yoongi reaches out for Jimin’s thigh.

Enough of this, he thinks, leaning down to splash cold water over his face. He rubs at his face hard, smacking at his cheeks and exhaling harshly. Shutting his eyes, Jungkook thinks about the feel of Jimin’s pillowy lips on his cheek. He conjures up the gentle touch of Jimin’s fingers along the ridges of his spine, the rise and fall of his chest under Jungkook’s head. He hears Jimin’s soft voice in his mind, whispering words of love, humming lightly as Jungkook strokes his golden hair.

Jungkook feels better after his moment of meditation. The tension has left his shoulders, and the paranoid whispers seem to be squashed. He takes several more deep breaths before leaving the bathroom, ready to go home with his boyfriend. Holding the positive images in his mind as he re-enters the meeting room, Jungkook tries not to notice how close Jimin and Yoongi are standing, leaning up against the wall, heads bent together. He wants desperately to ignore the mere inches that separate the two men as they smile broadly at one another, whispering back and forth.

Smiling weakly when Jimin looks up, Jungkook waits by the door as Jimin gathers his things and walks over.

“Ready?” he asks, slipping his hand into Jungkook’s.

Jungkook nods, lifting his other hand in a weak goodbye when Jimin waves to the remaining people in the room. He sees Yoongi smile and wave from across the room, and Jungkook can’t help but tighten his hand around Jimin’s fingers as they turn to leave.

*******

Once Jimin is in his arms on the couch, Jungkook finally feels more like himself. He isn’t paying any attention to the romantic comedy Jimin has chosen, and instead finds himself transfixed by the feel of Jimin’s soft skin. Running his fingertips gently over Jimin’s side, Jungkook pushes his boyfriend’s shirt up further to trace along the muscles of his abdomen. Jimin giggles at Jungkook’s light touch but doesn’t push him away. Instead he just sighs contentedly and allows Jungkook better access by rolling more onto his back, his head in Jungkook’s lap and eyes still pointed toward the screen.

Despite the fact that he’s been with Jimin for years now, Jungkook still feels overwhelmed at times by his boyfriend’s beauty. As he follows the dips of Jimin’s skin with his fingers, Jungkook’s eyes drink in the sight of Jimin’s face – his plush lips slightly upturned as he smiles at something happening on the television. He takes his hand from Jimin’s stomach to trace the curve of his nose. Then he runs his finger over Jimin’s sharp jawline and down the tendon in the side of his neck before returning to drawing small circles along his abdomen. Jimin turns his head to look up at Jungkook, parting his lips slightly, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, and Jungkook feels a heat beginning to pool in his core. He presses his hand flat on Jimin’s stomach, fingertips digging more firmly into Jimin’s skin as his hand begins to move lower, dipping under the waistband of his sweatpants. Jimin’s eyes are just falling shut, his back arching ever so lightly into Jungkook’s touch, when a notification sounds from Jimin’s phone. At first, they ignore the phone, but when the notification sounds several more times in rapid succession, Jimin sighs and rolls to the side, forcing Jungkook to pull back his hand.

Jimin’s eyes widen and a smile spreads over his face as he looks at the phone, now sitting up.

“It’s Tae,” he says. “Sorry, I gotta answer him.”

Jimin settles back down on the sofa, but this time he rests his head on a pillow on the opposite side of the couch, placing his bare feet on Jungkook’s lap. Jungkook’s hand automatically reach to rub lightly at Jimin’s toes.

“What’s he up to?” Jungkook asks, pressing his thumb into the arch of Jimin’s foot.

Jimin doesn’t look up from the phone, his thumbs moving a mile a minute on the screen as he types.

“Actually, he went out with a guy today for dinner.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows arch. “Really? Anyone I know?”

Jimin’s smile widens, and he shakes his head. “Nah. Just some guy he met.”

“Huh. That’s good. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Tae going on dates. It would be nice for him to find someone.”

Jimin just hums, texting away, occasionally laughing at whatever Taehyung is saying. When it’s clear that Jimin doesn’t plan on responding, Jungkook stands, gently lifting Jimin’s legs and placing them back onto the couch.

“I’m gonna grab something to eat. You want anything?”

“No, thank you,” Jimin says, smiling at his screen.

In the kitchen, Jungkook stares into Jimin’s mostly empty fridge, realizing he is more hungry than he had thought. As usual, Jimin is lacking in even the most basic of staples, so Jungkook settles on making some ramen he finds in a cupboard.

“Hey,” he calls to Jimin. “I’m gonna make some ramen. You want some?”

There’s no answer from Jimin, so Jungkook walks back into the living room, approaching the couch where Jimin is now sitting cross legged, still typing away on his phone.  As Jungkook walks up behind him, Jimin lets out a loud laugh, covering his mouth with his hand before bending back over to type. He doesn’t notice Jungkook resting his hands on the back of the couch.

Before he can ask Jimin about the ramen, Jungkook’s eyes catch a glimpse of Jimin’s screen, his eyebrows instantly knitting together in surprise at the sight of Yoongi’s name and contact picture at the top of the messaging app instead of Taehyung’s. When Jimin becomes aware of Jungkook’s presence, he turns with a smile, dropping the phone facedown onto the couch but not before Jungkook catches the last message he’s sent:

He has to be the most oblivious person ever. I just can’t believe he hasn’t figured it out already!

“Find something to eat?” Jimin asks, turning on the couch and reaching over to grab Jungkook’s hand. He presses Jungkook’s palm to his cheek and nuzzles into it.

Jungkook nods, unable to speak as he tries to shake away the fog that’s descending on his mind.

“R-Ramen,” he sputters, his eyes focusing on Jimin. “Do you want some?”

“Sure.” Jimin drops Jungkook’s hand and jumps to his feet. “Let me help you.”

They move to the kitchen, and Jungkook fills a pot with water, placing in on the stove as if on auto pilot. Jimin bustles around the kitchen, pulling out a couple eggs and setting two bowls on the counter while Jungkook stares down at the water on the stove.

Jungkook swallows before speaking. “So, uh, did Taehyung say anything else about his date?”

“Nah, not really,” Jimin says, oblivious to Jungkook’s internal distress. “You know how Taehyung is. Sometimes even I can’t tell what he’s thinking.”

Jungkook just nods, watching as the water starts to boil, tiny bubbles rising and bursting along the edges of the pan. He isn’t thinking about Yoongi and Jimin – not the events of the last couple days nor the message on Jimin’s phone. It’s like his brain is malfunctioning, unable to comprehend anything. He stares mutely down, and for a few minutes, Jungkook blissfully thinks of nothing at all.

“Jungkook!”

Jimin comes around to the stove and pushes Jungkook to the side, grabbing at the overflowing pot and blowing at the bubbles spilling over its rim. He lowers the burners temperature then sets the pot back down, glancing back and forth from the water to Jungkook’s blank face. When he’s certain the water isn’t going to boil over again, he waves a hand in front of Jungkook’s face and smiles.

“Earth to Jungkook! Hello? What’s going on with you?”

Jungkook shakes his head and comes back to himself a little. He looks down at the ramen on the counter, his stomach suddenly soured to the idea of food. A heavy weight now settles over his chest, and Jungkook is finding it hard to look Jimin in the eyes.

“I-I’m actually not feeling so well.” Jungkook forces the words out, a lump rising in his throat.

“Oh, Kookie, what’s wrong?” Jimin places the back of his hand against Jungkook’s forehead, then gently cups his cheeks, tilting his face so Jungkook is forced to meet his eyes. Jungkook manages to hold his gaze for a second before pulling his face away.

“It’s fine,” he says, his voice wavering slightly. “My head just hurts. I think maybe I’m going to go lay down.”

Jimin purses his lips and looks at Jungkook for a second before pulling back his arms. “Go get into bed. I’ll clean this up and be in in a few. Can I get you anything?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Sorry,” he says.

“I wasn’t even hungry – just trying to appease your appetite,” Jimin says, smiling. “Go, relax. Don’t worry about this.”

Jungkook nods and trudges into Jimin’s bedroom. He tugs off his shirt and pants, climbing under the duvet in just his underwear, the cold sheets making him shiver and curl into a ball on the bed. Tears sting at his eyes as his brain begins to whisper to him, filling him up with fear and doubt.

Better than you…More talented…Never choose you…You don’t deserve…Going to leave…Lying to you…

When Jimin slips into the room a little later, Jungkook shuts his eyes and tries to breathe lightly. Jimin tiptoes around, undressing quietly before slipping into the bed. Even as Jimin’s fingertips grace gently over his hair and cheek, Jungkook remains still. He opens his eyes only after he feels Jimin rolling away from him onto his side. Watching the slow rise and fall of Jimin’s ribs as his breathing becomes shallow and steady, Jungkook lets the tears that have been building silently trace over his cheeks.

*******

In the morning, Jungkook makes sure he’s out of bed before Jimin wakes up. Washing up quickly, he gets dressed and scribbles out a note on the little whiteboard on Jimin’s fridge.

Have an early meeting with Hoseok and Jin about our song. Text you later.

He hesitates and then adds Love you at the bottom of the board followed by several little hearts. He does love Jimin – so much and without any doubt. He knows that Jimin loves him, too, but now he is worried about the possibility that Jimin might love someone else even more.

Having used his afternoon meeting with Hoseok as an excuse to slip out early, Jungkook finds himself with several free hours on his hands. He heads for the company gym, the one place aside from the stage where he can pour out all of his emotions. When his mind tries to pull up the memory of Yoongi and Jimin huddling close together in the meeting room, Jungkook runs faster on the treadmill, sweat pouring down his back. When his imagination begins to stitch together an image of Jimin and Yoongi tangled in one another’s arms, Jimin’s head thrown back with a sigh as Yoongi traces his mouth over Jimin’s throat, Jungkook adds more weight to the press, his arm muscles screaming for mercy. When the whispers start floating through his ears – Not good enough. You’ll be alone. They’re laughing at you. – Jungkook cranks up his earbuds until he can’t even hear his gloved fists against the bag.

As he works out, he feels his phone buzzing with notifications, but he doesn’t look at them until after he’s done in the gym, showered, and redressed. There are several messages – the most important of them being one from Hoseok, letting Jungkook know that he’s waiting in his office, and one from Jimin.

JIMIN

Hey, Kookie. Missed you this morning. You should have woken me up! I hope you’re feeling better.

Going to rehearse with Tae – working on our song. Miss you. ❤️

Jungkook doesn’t know what to write back. He stares at his phone for a long time. There’s still a numbness inside of him that he can’t get his mind to work around. Finally, he decides to just send a generic response. Jimin’s going to know that something’s bothering Jungkook, but Jungkook doesn’t mind. He knows that it’s only a matter of time before they have to talk about whatever is going on between them - and what’s going on between Jimin and Yoongi.

JUNGKOOK

Wanted to stop at the gym before meeting up. See you at my place tonight?

Jungkook sighs and rubs at his temples. He really does have a headache at this point. After a few minutes, when Jimin still hasn’t responded, Jungkook tucks his phone into his pocket and heads toward Hoseok’s office.

The meeting with Hoseok and Jin takes up most of the afternoon. Hoseok has a lot of good ideas, and Jungkook actually finds himself excited about their upcoming performance. Jin, sensing that Jungkook is struggling a little, makes extra effort to be silly and playful, and soon Jungkook finds himself smiling and laughing with his hyungs. When they’re all finished and their performance is completely paced out and worked through, Hoseok gives Jungkook an extra-long hug as he prepares to leave for the day, and Jungkook is appreciative.

Feeling better than he has since the night before, Jungkook sends Jimin a text and decides to quickly check both Jimin and Tae’s offices before he heads to his car. He isn’t overly surprised to find both offices empty – it’s Jimin and Tae, after all. Neither man likes to work in their office, and, honestly, they could easily be anywhere doing anything. After some time, when Jungkook still doesn’t get any text response from his boyfriend, he decides to just head home alone. He lets Jimin know he’s leaving via text and heads back to his apartment.

At his place, Jungkook gets cleaned up and makes himself a small dinner. Now that he has some distance from everything – some time to be alone with his thoughts – Jungkook starts to feel somewhat silly for his recent reactions to seeing Jimin and Yoongi together. The two men are good friends who are, of course, very close. All of the members are tight, and all of the members can be touchy. What Jungkook saw could have been easily misconstrued. He decides, once again, to just talk to Jimin about how he’s been feeling, and once he makes that decision, a weight is lifted from Jungkook’s shoulders.

As he’s sitting down to play some games on his PC, Jungkook’s phone dings.

JIMIN

Still working. Going to be late tonight. You don’t have to wait up. I’ll just slip in when I can. ❤️

 

JUNGKOOK

Don’t work too hard. Tell Tae I said hi. Love you.

 

JIMIN

Love you, too 😘

Jungkook pulls on his headphones and starts up his game. There are a few players he recognizes online, and he chats happily as he plays, talking smack as he wracks up kills. When his avatar gets killed at some point and he has to start a new game, he’s surprised to see Taehyung’s name appear on the list of online players. Assuming he and Jimin are done for the night and that Jimin is now heading home, Jungkook initiates a chat with Taehyung.

“What’s up, TaeTae?” he asks, pulling down his microphone so it’s in front of his mouth.

“Jungkookie! Let’s play!” He hears Taehyung’s happy voice booming in his headphones.

“You and Jimin finished earlier than you thought after all, huh?”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the chat, and for a second, Jungkook thinks they’ve been disconnected.

“Jimin’s not here.”

“Yeah, I figured. He’s probably on his way home, right?”

“No, man. We finished around four. Last time I saw him, Jimin was still at the office.”

Jungkook pauses to think. He himself left the office around five, but he hadn’t seen Jimin anywhere in the building.

“He’s not with you?” Jungkook can hear a little bit of worry in Taehyung’s voice as he asks.

“No,” Jungkook says, “but I’m sure he’s fine, Tae. He must be working on something or another. I probably misunderstood what he has going on. I’ll text him. Back in a sec.”

As he speaks, Jungkook feels his heart start to pound hard in his chest. Technically, Jimin hadn’t said he was with Taehyung the last time he texted, but it had been implied. Jungkook mutes his mic and holds his phone in his hand, trying to decide what to text.

JUNGKOOK

Hey, baby. You’re with Taehyung, right? Can you ask him if he still has my red hoodie? I can’t find it.

Jimin doesn’t respond right away. Jungkook waits, staring at his screen. Finally, after a few minutes, his phone dings.

JIMIN

I have your red hoodie. He gave it back to me a few days ago.

 

JUNGKOOK

Okay. Good. What time do you think you and Taehyung will be done?

There’s another long pause before Jimin answers.

JIMIN

I’ll be done here in another couple hours. Then I’ll come to yours. Gotta go, Kookie! See you soon.

Jungkook’s stomach drops. Jimin is lying to him. He pulls the headphones back on and unmutes his conversation with Taehyung.

“Just talked to him,” he says into the microphone, his voice remarkably calm. “He’s still at work.”

“Huh,” Taehyung says. “I bet he’s with Yoongi-hyung. They’ve been up to something lately, but Jimin won’t tell me what. He tell you anything?”

Jungkook shakes his head, then realizing Taehyung can’t see him, he swallows hard and speaks. “No, he hasn’t mentioned anything. They’ve been talking a lot?”

“Yeah, hyung has stopped in during our last few rehearsals. They’ve been all whispery. Frankly, I’m jealous. I want to have secrets with Yoongi-hyung, too.”

Taehyung keeps talking, but Jungkook isn’t listening. His chest is tight, and he feels like he can’t breathe. Taehyung’s asking him to start a game, but Jungkook couldn’t focus even if he wanted to.

“Actually, Tae, I have to go,” he says, trying to keep his voice flat. “I forgot I have a few calls to make.”

“Okay, well, let’s play tomorrow then. Message me when you want to.”

“Alright, Tae. Night.”

Jungkook logs off before Taehyung can say anything else. He pulls the headphones from his head and stands. Not knowing what to do with himself, he stumbles over to the couch that faces the entryway of his apartment and collapses onto the cushions. Time ticks by as he sits there, eyes focused on the front door – first an hour, then two. All the while, the voice in the back of Jungkook’s mind gets louder and louder.

He’s better than you’ll ever be…You aren’t enough…He’s lying…You’re all alone…He’s going to leave you...

When Jimin finally walks through the door well past midnight, Jungkook’s been wallowing in despair for far too long to be thinking rationally. In the dark, he watches as Jimin slips of his shoes, oblivious to the man sitting on the couch watching him. He hangs his jacket and bag by the door, then turns, jumping and clutching at this chest when he finally notices Jungkook.

“Jesus!” he gasps, a smile curling on his lips. “You scared me, Kookie. Why are you sitting in the dark?”

There’s a pause during which Jimin flips on a lamp, bathing the room in a warm glow.

“Did you and Tae get a lot done?” Jungkook’s voice is low and steady. His eyes don’t leave Jimin’s face, even when Jimin crosses the room and plants a kiss on his forehead.

“Yeah, we actually did,” Jimin says. He stands in between Jungkook’s legs and reaches for Jungkook’s hand, bringing his tattooed fingers to his lips and kissing each one. “How about you and Hoseok and Jin?”

Jungkook ignores Jimin’s question. “So, you were with Taehyung? All afternoon and night?”

Jimin drops Jungkook’s hand, cocking his head and pressing his lips together, eyeing Jungkook with suspicion. “Actually, no,” he says. “Me and Tae worked for a while, and then Yoongi-hyung needed my help with something.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, though Jimin wasn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know. He’s just surprised Jimin is admitting it so easily. “Yoongi-hyung? Why did you lie to me earlier then? You said you were with Taehyung.”

Jimin crosses his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing. “I never said I was with Taehyung all night.”

“You implied it.”

Jimin snorts with derision.

“You know what, Jungkook, I’m tired. I’m not in the mood for this now. I spent most of the day with Taehyung, and then I helped Yoongi. I don’t understand why you have a problem with that.”

“Because you lied to me.”

“I did not lie to you.”

“Well, you didn’t tell me about Yoongi. Probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t asked, am I right?”

“Just what are you implying, Jungkook?”

There’s a brief pause during which Jungkook can hear the blood rushing in his ears. His fear and sadness have given way to anger, and now he can’t stop himself from hurtling forward.

“Are you fucking Yoongi?”

Jimin gapes at Jungkook, blinking his eyes wildly as he looks around the room with shock. He begins to speak several times but can’t manage to get any words out. Instead he just shakes his head and waves his hands in Jungkook’s direction.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

“Wha- Jungkook, what the fuck are you even asking me?”

“You heard me.” As Jungkook speaks, his voice begins to waver, and tears begin to spill over his cheek. “Are you leaving me?”

“Jungkook – Kookie – What in the world…” Jimin reaches out to wipe away Jungkook’s tears, but Jungkook pulls back making Jimin retract his hand.

“Just tell me,” Jungkook says. “Say it.”

“Why are you asking this? Where is this coming from?”

“Just say it,” Jungkook repeats firmly, practically yelling. He shuts his eyes and lets more tears fall, while he waits to hear the words he’s been fearing.

“No, Jungkook.” There’s an annoyance in Jimin’s voice now, starting to supersede his patience and worry. “I’m not fucking Yoongi.”

Jungkook nods, his eyes still closed. Rain pours from the storm clouds engulfing his mind, filling his entire body with dread and despair. “But you love him. Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”

Jimin’s had enough. He rolls his eyes and throws up his arms. “You know what? I can’t even with you. I can’t- How could you say this to me, Jungkook? How can you fucking sit there and say this to me!? What in the actual fuck are you even talking about?”

Jungkook doesn’t speak, so Jimin turns away from him, heading back to the door. He sits on the floor and pulls his boots back on, shaking his head and muttering to himself. Then he stands and grabs his jacket and bag from the rack. The fog clears in Jungkook’s mind just enough to let the weight of the situation shine in.

“You’re going?” he asks, panic beginning to lace his voice. “You’re really leaving me.”

“Yeah,” Jimin spits. “I’m fucking leaving. I can’t listen to this bullshit for one more second.”

As Jimin moves to the door, a wave of emotion slaps at Jungkook, lifting him from the couch.

“Wait,” he calls, his eyes widening with shock as everything he’s said rushes back at him. He feels hurt and scared, but above all else he just feels confused.  “Wait, Jimin, don’t go. I- I didn’t…”

Jimin whirls around and marches up to Jungkook, jabbing at his chest with his pointer finger. Jungkook sees the angry tears building in his eyes.

“How dare you! How fucking dare you, Jeon Jungkook.” Jimin sounds angry – possibly angrier than Jungkook has ever heard him – but Jungkook can hear the pain in voice, too. It makes him flinch back. Jimin heads back to the door, pausing once he has the knob in his hand. Jungkook takes a few steps toward him.

 “Don’t,” Jimin says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks. “Don’t follow me. Don’t come to my house. Don’t call me. Don’t fucking text me.”

Jimin words are cut off when a harsh sob escapes his lips. He shakes his head and tries to breathe, Jungkook frozen in place just behind him. Then Jimin is gone, the entryway empty and the door hanging open. Jungkook stands still for another minute, then he pushes the front door closed and slumps against it, sliding to the floor as he gasps for air through a downpour of tears.

*******

The next morning, Jungkook wakes up in his bed, tangled in the sheets, his eyes practically swollen shut. His head starts screaming immediately, his sinuses clogged and throat sore. He had cried for hours after Jimin left, gripping at his sheets as he had berated himself aloud, yelling to an empty room. Now his body and mind both feel overworked and exhausted.

Squinting at the clock and seeing it is already past noon, Jungkook forces himself off of the bed and into the bathroom. He doesn’t even wait for the water to heat up, standing directly under the nozzle and turning on the taps, the burst of cold jolting him fully awake before the water slowly turns warm around him.

Turning his face into the stream, Jungkook closes his eyes and begins to sort through his thoughts. Before his mind can piece together a plan of action, Jungkook needs to work through his emotions, so he breathes deeply and tries to identify and pick apart what is going on in his heart. Jungkook feels fear. Jealousy is still buried inside him, as well as guilt. He’s angry, but more at himself than at Jimin, because Jungkook acknowledges that there is still a chance (a hell of a big chance, actually) that he has been wrong about everything and has ruined his relationship over nothing. Even more crucially, Jungkook feels shame because he clearly isn’t strong enough or good enough to deserve the man he loves. Most of all, though, Jungkook feels sadness and a deep sense of loss. And so much fucking love.

Jungkook can pinpoint the very moment he knew he was madly in love with Jimin. They were on an amusement park ride – teacups – the world nothing but a blur around them as they spun wildly. Jimin had been laughing unabashedly as Jungkook struggled to capture the pure happiness radiating from Jimin’s eyes with his camera. When the ride was over, Jungkook continued to follow the smiling boy with his lens, and then Jimin had turned, beautiful and radiant, smiling so wide that his eyes were scrunched closed from his high cheekbones. Jungkook remembers gasping, his eye wondering away from the viewfinder to meet Jimin’s directly, a certainty and warmth like he had never known flooding through his entire being. He had been certain at that moment that he would do anything to keep Jimin smiling that way forever.

Images of this Jimin plague Jungkook’s mind – his tiny waist wrapped in leather, his hands reaching for the silly hat on his head, his smile so genuine and pure, his eyes filled with a longing that Jungkook can’t help but mirror back at him. Breaking up with Jimin could mean the end of many things for Jungkook – his band, his career, his home – but none of this matters to Jungkook at the moment. As the water pours down around him and Jimin’s smiling face flashes through his mind, the only thing that Jungkook cares about is making sure Jimin will once again look at him the way he had on that very first night when love had bloomed between them.

With his heart somewhat settled and his mind certain, Jungkook hurries to dress. He doesn’t text or call Jimin; he knows he needs to see him face-to-face so he can look in his eyes for whatever comes next. Instead, he throws on his jacket and heads to Jimin’s place, where Jungkook thinks he is most likely to be since it’s technically their day off. At Jimin’s place, Jungkook doesn’t bother with the buzzer. He uses his code to enter the apartment, calling out Jimin’s name as he peeks into the empty bedroom. When it’s clear he isn’t home (and hasn’t been home all night based on the neatly made bed), Jungkook heads to the group house.

Riding up in the elevator to the home he shares with his hyungs, Jungkook loses some of his determination and confidence. He realizes that there is a good chance he’s going to run into some of the other members here, and he isn’t sure what he should say to them about the situation. Jungkook’s stomach rolls at the possibility of finding Jimin and Yoongi together in the house, but he tries to shove the thought into the very back of his mind as he unlocks the front door and steps inside.

The house is quiet. Jungkook doesn’t see anyone as he crosses through the living room and kitchen. He steps up to the closed door of Jimin’s bedroom and knocks with no hesitation, but as he hears footsteps on the other side of the door, he bounces back and forth from foot to foot with nerves.

“Jungkook!”

Jungkook lets out the breath he’s holding when Hoseok pulls the bedroom door open. Hoseok gives Jungkook a small hug and then stands to the side, gesturing for Jungkook to come in. Seeing that Jimin isn’t in the room, Jungkook steps inside and stands, fidgeting, at the foot of Jimin’s bed.

“Hey, Hobi-hyung,” he says, trying to add a bit of his usual playfulness into his voice. “I’m looking for Jimin. Have you seen him?”

Hoseok, sorting through a large box of jewelry on his dresser, looks at Jungkook over his shoulder. He raises an eyebrow and bites at the corners of his mouth before talking.

“He was here,” he says, and the disappointment is clear in his voice. “He showed up pretty late last night, and I happened to be here after a dinner I had nearby.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says, finding it hard to look up at Hoseok. “Well, um, do you happen to know where he is now? I really need to talk to him about something.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok scoffs. “I’d say. It seems to me like you have a lot you need to say to Jimin.”

“What did he tell you?” Jungkook’s voice quivers as he speaks. Now he has to add humiliation to the list of emotions he’s feeling, along with even more shame.

Hoseok sighs and takes a seat on the corner of his bed. “Not much, but he was upset – like, really upset, Jungkook. He cried most of the night. He was so sad, but mostly very, very angry. Can I ask what happened? Jimin didn’t want to talk about it.”

Jungkook looks down at his hands, his fingers squeezed together so tightly it hurts.

“I think I fucked up,” he mutters. “Like, really bad. Hobi-hyung, I might have ruined things for good.”

Hoseok’s eyes soften. He rises from the bed and gently lays his hands on Jungkook’s arms, rubbing slightly up and down in a soothing motion.

“Whatever it is,” he says, bending down to try to catch Jungkook’s eyes, “you can still fix it, I’m sure.”

Jungkook nods, wiping at the tears forming in his eyes before they have a chance to fall. “I want to fix it. I’m trying, hyung.”

“Oh, Jungkookie,” Hoseok says, pulling Jungkook close for a hug. “I’m sure you are, and I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it right. Jimin loves you so much, you know that, right?”

Again, Jungkook nods. “I love him, too. He’s my everything.”

“Well, then, go find him. Explain yourself. Apologize. Maybe grovel a little. Make sure to compliment him a ton. Give him lots of kisses. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

Hoseok gives Jungkook one last pat on the back before pulling back. He squeezes both of Jungkook’s hands gently, then turns back to the jewelry on his dresser.

“But hyung,” Jungkook says, “I have to find Jimin first. Do you have any idea where he might be? Did he say anything to you this morning before he left?”

“He mentioned having to stop by work. Said there was something he’s been working on. Oh!” Hoseok turns around, pointing a finger in the air as if a brilliant idea has just struck him. “Check Genius Lab. Jimin’s been hanging around there a lot recently. I think he and Yoongi have been up to something secret.”

Jungkook looks away to hide the darkness filling his eyes. Maybe he isn’t as over the idea of Jimin and Yoongi as he had hoped.

“Alright, hyung, I’ll check it out. Thank you so much for the help. And the hug.”

“Anytime. I hope you two can work it out. I think you’re the best couple I know – certainly the closest thing to soulmates that I’ve ever seen.”

Jungkook just nods for a third time, excusing himself from the room and heading for the front door.

*******

Jungkook can’t bring himself to go straight to Genius Lab, so he first heads to Jimin’s office. When he finds it empty, he also peaks into Taehyung’s office…and Jin’s…and Namjoon’s… Only Namjoon’s studio is occupied, but when Namjoon opens the door, Jungkook realizes he really doesn’t have anything to say – that he’s just wasting time to stave off the inevitable.

“Uh, hi,” Jungkook says, lifting his hand in greeting. “I’m looking for Jimin. He doesn’t happen to be here, does he?”

Namjoon seems slightly annoyed by Jungkook’s interruption. He was probably busy working on new music.

“He’s with Yoongi. Well, he was this morning when I saw them last,” Namjoon says, leaving the door open as he heads back to the chair in front of his desk. Jungkook sees the layering program open on Namjoon’s desktop and knows his hunch about interrupting is correct.

“Sorry to bother you,” Jungkook says, “but, um, do you know what he’s doing with Yoongi?”

Jungkook tries to make his question seem casual, but he really doesn’t need to worry; Namjoon is only half listening. He doesn’t look up from his computer as he speaks.

“Oh, uh, I think it’s something about a song Yoongi’s working on. Maybe he’s having Jimin lay down some backing vocals or something.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, and he’s glad Namjoon is too distracted to hear the fear in Jungkook’s voice. “That’s probably it. I’ll just go now…and see…”

“Later, JK,” Namjoon says, still not looking up as Jungkook backs out of the studio, closing the door behind him.

With nowhere else to go, Jungkook starts walking toward Yoongi’s office. He tries to stall a little longer, stopping at the restroom and at the water fountain, but he’s staring at the frosted glass of the Genius Lab door before he knows it, hand lifted, ready to knock. Jungkook takes one breath…two…three…then he lets his knuckles fall gently against the glass. When no one answers, he knocks again, and when no one comes to the door, he takes a step back and exhales shakily, bending over with his hands on his knees, the door in front of him blurring slightly under his anxious gaze. Jungkook’s legs suddenly feel a little rubbery underneath him. He reaches his arms out to brace himself against the door and one of his hands presses against the door’s handle. He's caught off guard when the door swings open and he has to grab at the door frame to prevent himself from tipping onto the floor.

Without thinking, Jungkook steps into Genius Lab. He knows full well that Yoongi never leaves his door unlocked, and it’s with a great deal of shock that he looks around the empty room and shuts the glass door behind him. For a few minutes, Jungkook just stands in the middle of the room, mouth hanging open as his eyes scan over the electronics on the desk and the shelves filled with various figures. Then, feeling somewhat confused and numb, he crosses to the black leather couch and lowers himself down, trying to decide what to do next. His eyes drifts to an article of clothing on the floor by his feet, and Jungkook bends over to pick it up without really knowing why.

When his fingers touch the fuzzy blue fabric, Jungkook realizes he’s holding a sweater – a familiar sweater. He unfolds the shirt, holding it out in front of him at the shoulders, his eyes widening with recognition. This is Jimin’s sweater – one his favorites. Jungkook’s heart clenches as he imagines Jimin wrapped in fluffy blue, the sweater’s long arms dangling adorably over his fingertips. He pulls the sweater to his nose and inhales deeply, closing his eyes as the powdery scent he loves fills his nose. And suddenly, there it all is again – the negativity, the fear, the anger – pushing down on Jungkook’s shoulders.

He jumps to his feet, dropping Jimin’s sweater back onto the floor, and without any tangible goal, walks over to Yoongi’s desk, rooting through the various papers and notes scattered about. There’s a yellow notebook with scribbled lyrics and words circled and scratched out, and Jungkook finds a small piece of paper with little doodles all over it that he’s fairly certain Jimin has drawn. When the papers do not offer him the answers that he seeks (to questions that he doesn’t even know), Jungkook turns to the computer screen where small colorful arcs and lines signifying the various layers of a song in progress are lined up in a tall column. Scrolling until he finds what he wants, Jungkook hits play and Yoongi’s voice suddenly fills the room’s large speakers, a gentle guitar quietly playing under him.

Yoongi’s voice is low and rough as it is not yet polished with autotune or layered with background. He sings delicately, sounding so earnest and small – not at all like he usually sounds when he raps and his voice dominates the room. Here he sounds downright vulnerable, pleading with a soft voice that laps at Jungkook’s ears like gentle waves brushing against delicate sand.

They say love makes you weak

It makes fools of the wise

Destroying the strongest

True reason’s demise

It’s a miracle really

It’s myself that I know

The weaker I am

The more solid I grow

You give this to me

You hold all that I am

I want to be stronger

But I’m only a man and…

Weak, you make me weak

My knees shake, my heart aches

It’s time for the truth now.

It’s just you. It’s just me.

Here’s to real honesty

Guess I’ve always been weak…for you.

I’ve always been caged

I hide in the dark

The light couldn’t hit me

Then you made a spark

I’ll favor my passions

I just want to be yours

Admitting my fears

It’s just something so pure

I see me in your eyes

The unwavering smile

You give that to me

With you I’m finally free…cause

Weak, you make me weak

My knees shake, my heart aches

It’s time for the truth now.

It’s just you. It’s just me.

Here’s to real honesty

Guess I’ve always been weak…for you.

I’ll forever be weak…for you

The song comes to an end and then starts replaying while Jungkook stands without moving, barely even breathing.

“Jungkook?”

Yoongi’s deep voice startles Jungkook. He reaches down and stops the music, but he can’t bring himself to turn and face his friend.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, his voice cracking. “You love him, don’t you? You’re in love with him.”

There’s a long pause before Yoongi speaks from behind Jungkook.

“Yeah, I really do.”

Jungkook’s eyes close, fresh tears spilling down his face. He nods, a truth settling deep inside of him.

“Okay.” As he speaks, Jungkook turns around. Yoongi’s eyes widen, his mouth dropping open as he takes in the sight of the weeping man in front of him. Yoongi moves toward Jungkook, reaching out his hand, but Jungkook takes a step back.

“Jungko-”

“I love him. I love him so much, hyung, but he deserves better – more…You can...and I-I’m just…” Jungkook’s words are choked off by a loud sob.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi looks alarmed, like he’s ready to call for help. “What are you talking about?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook wipes at his face with the back of sleeve, trying to breath so he can say what he has to say. “Just promise me – promise that you’ll take care of him. He seems so big and bright, but he’s also just so soft and tiny. Take care of him for me. And love him right. Jimin deserves that. He deserves everything.”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi says, and this time Jungkook stands still when Yoongi reaches out to grab his arms.

“Yeah, hyung?”

“What the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?”

Jungkook stares at Yoongi, confused. He blinks, and then he blinks again. Yoongi’s face is scrunched up, his forehead knitted and his eyes peering at Jungkook with a great deal of confusion and concern.

“I-I’m talking about Jimin. You and Jimin. You’re in love with each other.”

Yoongi can’t hold the brief snort of laughter that erupts from his lips. “Me and Jimin? You think this song is about Jimin?”

Jungkook nods, mutely, not understanding what is happening at all. Yoongi’s hands move to Jungkook’s shoulders. He shakes the younger man slightly as he lowers his head. Jungkook can hardly believe it when he hears him chuckling quietly before looking back up.

“It’s for Taehyung – the song. I wrote it for him.”

Jungkook’s mind is a puddle of sludge. He looks at Yoongi and hears his words, but none of what he’s saying makes a single bit of sense.

“For…Tae?”

Yoongi nods. It almost looks like he feels relieved to say the words. “Yeah. I’m in love with Taehyung.”

“But Jimin…You and him…His sweater…” Jungkook points half-heartedly in the sweater’s direction, and Yoongi turns to glance at it.

“Jimin’s been helping me. Somehow he just figured it out, and he’s been helping me with the song and a few other things. I’m not really good at this feelings thing, and I just don’t know what to do on my own. He’s really been a godsend – even laid down the vocals for my track. Been giving me advice with the singing.”

“He’s been…helping you?” A fresh wave of tears starts to pour from Jungkook’s eyes. He clutches at his stomach, legs wobbling, as a sudden wave of nausea sweeps over him.

“Hey, hey, come here.” Yoongi ushers Jungkook back over to the little sofa, lowering him gently onto the cushion. “Jesus, Kook. You thought that me and Jimin…”

“I’m so dumb. Oh my god, I’m so, so stupid.”

“Yeah, you really are, kid.”

“I’ve screwed up everything. Everything. He’s never going to forgive me for this.”

Jungkook puts his head in his hands and grips at his hair as blind panic surges through his body. Yoongi shakes his head, squatting on the floor in front of Jungkook and patting his knee, patiently waiting for him to speak.

“We had this big fight. I-I accused him of things. I was horrible. Hyung, what I said – what I thought – it’s unforgivable, isn’t it?”

Yoongi tilts his head back and sighs. He’s always the most honest member – sometimes brutally so – and Jungkook knows Yoongi will tell it like it is.

“From what you’re saying, it doesn’t sound great, Kook. Accusing someone of cheating? That’s a bitter pill to swallow.”

Jungkook nods as Yoongi confirms what he already knows. Jungkook has brought this on himself. He’s ruined the very best thing to ever happen to him with jealousy and self-doubt. He was never going to get Jimin back.

“But Jimin loves you. If you go to him and explain, I think he’ll listen to you, and hopefully, find a way to forgive you. You don’t just stop loving someone. Even if you want to – even if you’re mad at them or disappointed.”

As Yoongi’s words sink in, a faint ray of light shines in Jungkook’s mind. If there’s a chance, even the slightest sliver of a possibility that Jimin will forgive him, Jungkook needs to cling to it, to nurture it and make it grow. Jungkook thinks he has a lot of work ahead of him and decides to hop on the apology train right away.

“Yoongi-hyung, I’m so sorry. I should have known that you would never, ever do something like this. I let my fears control me, and I invaded your privacy here – and with the song…I’m just really sorry.”

Yoongi hums, moving from the floor to take a seat next to Jungkook on the couch. He again pats Jungkook’s knee and flashes Jungkook a small, sympathetic smile.

“We all go a little crazy sometimes. Love is…unnecessarily complicated, isn’t it?”

Jungkook looks at his hyung. Despite everything, he feels a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he sees the pinched expression on Yoongi’s face.

“So, hyung, Taehyung, huh?”

Yoongi’s face immediately reddens. He averts his eyes, crossing and then re-crossing his legs.

“Shut up.”

“No, no, actually it makes sense. A lot of sense. I can see it.”

“Jimin – at our last photoshoot, we were standing around watching Tae take his turn, and he just figured it out. Said it was written all over my face. After months of me trying to keep it a secret, he figured it out with just one look. Since then, he’s been non-stop with all this advice and so many suggestions. He won’t leave me alone.”

“Sounds like Jimin.”

“I mean, I’m grateful for all his help – getting me to sit with Tae and ride with him in the car, giving me excuses to meet with them at the office. He even told me what foods and snacks Taehyung likes best. Then he suggested the song idea, and… Well, here we are.”

Jungkook thinks of Yoongi coming into the meeting room with his hands filled with coffee. He had been too caught up in his own jealousy to give much attention to the small bag filled with croissants that Yoongi had handed to Tae. He thinks of all the compliments and praise Jimin had heaped onto Yoongi – all in front of Taehyung – and everything makes real sense for the first time in days.

“Jimin can be a lot when he has a goal to work toward – especially when Taehyung is involved.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi scoffs. “Understatement of the decade.”

Jungkook considers for a minute the possibility of Taehyung and Yoongi becoming a couple. He recalls the numerous occasions he’s caught Taehyung staring at Yoongi with something like awe in his eyes. How many times had Taehyung marveled over Yoongi’s talent and music for hours on end? And the way Taehyung would sometimes blush and grow all quiet when Yoongi complimented him? Yeah, Jungkook thinks Yoongi has a good chance.

“You know what? I think it’s going to work out for you, hyung,” Jungkook says, and its his turn to pat Yoongi’s knee. “I think once you show Taehyung that song, he’s gonna be all yours.”

“You think?” Yoongi is blushing again. “That’s what Jimin says, too. I hope so.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds, both of them caught up in wishful thinking about the men they love. Then Yoongi leans back on the couch and places his folded arms under his head.

“So, what in the world made you think that there was something going on with me and Jimin. I mean, of all people, Jimin and me? That’s nuts. Who in their right mind would think that?”

Jungkook swallows hard. He knows exactly what first put the idea of a YoonMin mash up in his mind.

“It’s stupid,” he says, also leaning back on the couch. “You’re gonna laugh.”

“It can’t be more embarrassing than you thinking I’ve been fucking your boyfriend.”

He hesitates, but then decides to just let it all out. If he’s going to be honest and start to make amends, he might as well start now.

“Have you ever read any fanfic?”

Yoongi’s eyebrows shoot up. Then his grin widens until his gums are on display, a loud laugh rolling out of his chest.

“No, oh god, Jungkook, tell me you didn’t.”

“Well, a while ago, Jimin wanted to read one - you know - together.”

“That kinky little shit.”

“You don’t even know, hyung.”

“And I don’t want to.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Well, one day when I was bored, I started looking through this site Jimin had shown me, and there were all these stories about you and Jimin – more than any other pair.”

“Bizarre.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too, but then I read a bunch – a lot, really – and so many of them were actually really good. I don’t know, I just started believing what I was reading somehow. Once I had entertained the possibility of you two, I just started seeing things everywhere. I just got so wrapped up in my own mind.”

“And in these stories, me and Jimin…have sex?”

“Oh yeah. Lots of sex.”

“Ew. And you read that shit?”

Jungkook just shrugs, and there’s a beat of silence between the two men.

“So, uh, this site.” Yoongi keeps his eyes pointed at the ceiling as he talks. “There are all kinds of stories on there? About all of us?”

“There are so many stories, hyung. With every mix and pairing imaginable. There are even ones where we all…Like, all seven of us…But I haven’t read any of those ones, I swear.” Jungkook’s voice speeds up as he talks.

Yoongi smirks, and another minute goes by where neither of them speak.

“I mean, just out of pure curiosity, are there a lot of stories about me on there? About me…and Tae?”

Jungkook has to giggle at the mischievous glint he sees in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Oh, hyung,” he teases. “You don’t even know. There are so many TaeGi stories – I’m sure each one more dirty than the last. But there’s no way in hell I’m sharing – not after all the trouble it’s caused me.”

“First off, unlike you apparently, I’m more than capable of distinguishing between real life and fantasy. Second, I’d say you owe me one after breaking into my studio, invading my privacy, and accusing me of being a moral-less hussy who sleeps with people’s boyfriends. And third, if you don’t share the goods with me, who knows, I might just forget all about Taehyung and set my sights on someone else – someone shorter and blonde, maybe.”

“Ugh, hyung! Too soon!”

“I mean, it is indisputable that Jimin has a great ass…”

“Hey! That’s my ass! Back off!”

“Well, if it’s ‘your ass,’ then you better go try to get it back instead of lazing about in my studio all day. Jeon Jungkook, it’s time for you to go win back your man. Just, before you do, make sure to send me that link…”

*******

There’s only one place Jungkook hasn’t looked for Jimin, and after Yoongi sends an undercover text to confirm that he is indeed hiding out at Taehyung’s apartment, Jungkook agrees to an exchange: if Yoongi can help get Jungkook into Taehyung’s apartment and keep Tae busy while Jungkook and Jimin talk, Jungkook agrees to give him the link to the fanfic page. It’s really a win-win for Yoongi, who quickly agrees and texts Taehyung to let him know he’s going to stop over (he leaves out the part about Jungkook being with him).

After a short car ride, Jungkook and Yoongi are riding up in the elevator in Taehyung’s place, Jungkook’s stomach rolling with fear. He hasn’t planned out what he’s going to say – his nerves are destroying his most basic of thinking abilities – but he’s fully prepared to do anything and everything to get Jimin to forgive him.

“Ready, kid?” Yoongi asks as they stand in front of Taehyung’s door, Yoongi’s finger hovering over the buzzer.

Jungkook, face pale and eyes skittish, can only nod.

“You got this,” Yoongi says, trying to reassure him. “Just be honest.”

Jungkook nods, and Yoongi rings the bell.

When Taehyung pulls open the door, a big grin stretches across his face as he looks at Yoongi. Then his gaze moves to Jungkook, and his eyes narrow. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls the door open wider and beckons the men inside. Kicking off their shoes, Yoongi follows Taehyung as he makes his way into the living room, and after a second, Jungkook tags along behind them. As they enter the room, Jimin, who is sitting on the sofa with his knees to his chest, looks up from his phone and directly at Jungkook. He lets out a derisive snort and then looks back down.

“Well, well, well,” he says, voice flat and emotionless. “If it isn’t my sorry excuse for a boyfriend – Oh and look! He’s brought my lover along with him. How lucky am I?”

Taehyung and Yoongi both look from Jimin to Jungkook with arched eyebrows, then after a pause, Yoongi speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung, I was wondering if you might want to go grab a coffee with me, and maybe go for a walk after?”

Taehyung looks at Jimin, clearly checking if it’s okay to leave his friend alone with a shithead like Jungkook. When Jimin nods at him, Taehyung smiles broadly at Yoongi.

“That sounds great. Maybe a long walk. They’re gonna need it.”

Yoongi chuckles, and while Taehyung scurries around, collecting a few things, Yoongi turns to Jungkook and leans over to whisper. “Text me when it’s cool to come back. Good luck. I’ll be waiting for that link…”

Jungkook nods, and with one last reassuring squeeze to Jungkook’s arm and a small wave to Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung are gone.

Jungkook swallows, taking a few tentative steps toward the living room, but hesitating at the edge of the room’s carpet. His eyes dart around wildly – moving from Jimin to his own feet, back to Jimin and then to his fingers that he’s nervously bending and cracking. Jimin, seeing Jungkook’s struggle, rolls his eyes.

“Jesus, you look like a deer caught in headlights. You think I’m gonna run you over?”

“You might,” Jungkook says, and he’s pleased to see a small smile on Jimin’s lips.

“Yeah, I might.”

Jungkook pushes himself forward, lowering himself slowly on the empty side of the L-shaped couch. He sits on the edge of the cushion, elbows on his knees as he rubs his hands together. His eyes never leave Jimin, even though Jimin doesn’t look up from his phone. It’s time for Jungkook to speak, but he isn’t sure how to begin. In the end, he opts for the obvious thing.

“I’m sorry, Jimin.” It’s such a simple thing to say, but it breaks the ice. Jimin finally looks up, his eyes still so hard, and Jungkook lets the words come pouring out.

“What I said – how I acted – Jimin there’s no excuse. I just…I was suddenly so scared that I was losing you... I should start at the beginning. Right, so, uh, this is going to sound really weird but, you remember those stories that we read – the ones about us?”

Jimin lifts an eyebrow, his lips pressed together, as if telling Jungkook to go on.

“Well, you know I was reading a couple of them here and there, and one day, I started looking at some of the other stories on the site. I was looking for the most popular ones, and it turns out they were about you…and Yoongi-hyung.”

The tightness in Jimin’s face slackens. His mouth falls open and his eyes widen as he realizes what Jungkook is implying. Jungkook feels absolutely mortified by what he’s saying, but he knows that this humiliation is necessary for his penitence, so he keeps going.

“There was that night that you spent with Taehyung last week, and I got all wrapped up in reading. I read all night, and suddenly, it was like my brain started turning on me. All these thoughts started running through my mind. You know me – how I can get. I had myself all convinced that I wasn’t enough – that it would be so much better and so much easier for you if you loved someone else.”

Watching Jimin’s face change as new emotions surge through him fascinates Jungkook – first, it had been anger, then shock, and now, Jungkook thinks hopefully, maybe something close to sympathy. Still, Jimin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t move at all, just watching as Jungkook pours out his heart.

“The next day – we had practice, remember? – I saw you talking with Yoongi. It looked like you were happy talking to him, whispering. The voices just kept getting louder in my head. In the conference room when he brought you a coffee and when you touched his hair. You were laughing and smiling, and I just kept thinking I had lost you because how could I possibly compete. I mean, I’m me, and he’s Yoongi.”

“Jungkook…” Jimin says, but he doesn’t say anything else. To Jungkook’s dismay, Jimin’s face is now unreadable as he rests his chin on his knees and tightens his arms around his legs, waiting for Jungkook to finish.

“The night at your place, you said you were texting Tae, but I saw that it was Yoongi you were talking to. Then the day after that, you barely answered my texts. You said you were with Taehyung, but I found out you were with Yoongi. God, Jimin, I just – I was losing my mind. I should have just thought it through. I know you wouldn’t…But in the moment, I couldn’t stop.”

Jimin runs his hands through his hair, sighing as he drops his feet to the floor and leans backwards, eyes closed and arms at his sides. He bounces his legs up and down, maybe from nerves, maybe with frustration – maybe both. Jungkook waits to see if he’s finally going to speak. When a full minute of silence passes, he takes a breath and keeps going.

“Jimin, I-”

“Just stop.” Jimin’s voice is flat, which Jungkook knows is not a good sign. When extremely mad, Jimin has always tended to shut down his emotions. His calm demeanor most likely means he’s still very angry. It sounds wrong, but Jungkook wishes Jimin would cry or scream. If he’s rages at Jungkook, like Jungkook thinks he deserves, it means they’re progressing – that there’s a chance they’ll work through all this. Jungkook feels tears stinging in his own eyes as he looks at his boyfriend’s blank expression.

“Your explanation – it’s completely ludicrous…but I understand what you’re saying. I know you. I know how you think. But that doesn’t mean I can forgive you just like that, Jungkook.”

There’s a deep ache in Jungkook’s chest as his eyes drop to his feet. He knows he deserves to hear all the negativity Jimin is about to throw at him. He’s going to take it all – whatever Jimin needs to vent in order to get Jimin back in his arms.

“Now you’re probably sitting there, thinking about how you deserve to be dragged through it because of what you did. I’m not going to do that, though.”

Jungkook’s mouth falls open with surprise. Jimin laughs.

“Don’t look so shocked. I told you – I know you. What hurts is that you, apparently, don’t know me. You actually thought I could do that to you? Fuck someone else? Love someone else? And Yoongi?! Yoongi, of all people?! Jungkook, that’s just – It’s just-”

“I know. I know. Now that I’m thinking clearly, I completely see how stupid I was. I know you love me. I really do. More than I could possibly ever deserve.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t belittle yourself to help your case.”

“I’m not-”

“You are, whether you mean to or not. You’re going to have me reassuring you, and we’re going to lose sight of what we really need to discuss: how you’re going to make this right.”

Jungkook’s heart pounds in his chest. Jimin wants to make things right. He wants to fix things. There’s hope. He nods vigorously to signify his willingness to listen and his agreement with what Jimin is saying.

“Jungkook, these feelings you were having – the doubts and the fears – they were going on for days and you never said anything to me. You didn’t talk to me about any of it. Instead, you let it fester away inside you until it all exploded. That is not okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook repeats. “I should have told you. At first, I was just embarassed because of all the stories, and then it just rolled into something else before I could control it.”

“In the future, we have to communicate better. You have to communicate better.”

In the future. The words ring in Jungkook’s ears like the finest music in the world.  

“When it comes to you suspecting me and hyung, I have to admit that I played a part in that. While I maintain that I did not exactly lie to you about where I was or what I was doing, I did fail to let you in on the full truth. That was wrong of me, and I’m sorry. All I can tell you now is that I’ve been helping Yoongi with something that isn’t my business to share. That has to be enough for you for now.”

“I know already – that Yoongi-hyung is in love with Tae. I went to his studio today, looking for you. I heard his song, and he told me everything.”

Jimin seems surprised by this, but also somewhat relieved. “It’s a nice song, isn’t it?”

“It really is. He said you helped a lot with it.”

“It was hard for Yoongi to put his feelings about Taehyung into words. It’s much easier to write about love when you’re in the middle of it instead of at the beginning.”

“What about at the end of it?” Jungkook is afraid to ask, his voice quieter and meek.

Jimin pulls his lower lip into his mouth, biting at it lightly before scooting over on the couch. He reaches out his hand and places it on top of Jungkook’s, and Jungkook twists his wrist so he can link their fingers together. Bringing Jimin’s hand to his mouth, Jungkook kisses his knuckles lightly.

“I wouldn’t know anything about the end of love. I don’t ever want to know.”

Jungkook closes his eyes, pressing Jimin’s hand to his face. A tear traces over his cheek and lands on Jimin’s fingers.

“I’m so, so sorry. I trust you, and I love you, Jimin. I’ll be better. I promise. I’ll be the man you deserve.”

“You already are the man I deserve,” Jimin says, reaching out his free hand to wipe Jungkook’s tears. “You just need to work on realizing that.”

Jungkook grabs at Jimin’s wrist, tugging at his arms and pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms so tightly around Jimin that Jimin has no choice but to climb into Jungkook’s lap, their chests pressed together. Jungkook feels Jimin’s warm breath against his neck, and he can truly breathe for the first time in days. He turns his face to place kisses along Jimin’s forehead and cheek.

“I love you,” he says, relief washing over him. “I love you. I love you. I’m so sorry. Never again. I promise.”

“Damn straight you won’t pull anything like this ever again.”

“Never,” Jungkook says, and then he leans back and tilts Jimin’s head up for a kiss. It starts out light and sweet, but after a few seconds, Jimin licks into Jungkook’s mouth and a longing like Jungkook’s never known is screaming deep in his gut. He draws Jimin closer with his arms and pushes hungrily with his mouth, desperate to mold himself to Jimin, to never pull away, but after a few minutes, Jimin jerks back. Jungkook chases his lips, but Jimin brings his hand to Jungkook’s mouth, laughing slightly.

“I have forgiven you, but if you think it’s going to be that easy to get me into bed, you’re mistaken.”

“Let me make it up to you,” Jungkook says, pressing their foreheads together and grazing his lips over Jimin’s. “I’ll earn your forgiveness.”

“Goddamn right, you will.”

Jimin is smiling, his eyes shining so close to Jungkook’s, and Jungkook thinks he’s never been more grateful for the flirtatious banter between them. This is the man he loves – the Jimin who loves him madly and unconditionally, and from now on, Jungkook’s going to make sure to do everything in his power to recognize and appreciate it – to earn Jimin’s love and understand that he is worth of it.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too, you silly, stupid man.”

Jungkook places small kisses all over Jimin’s face and Jimin giggles. Then they hug again, Jimin’s head on Jungkook’s shoulder and Jungkook’s head buried in Jimin’s neck, letting a content calmness spread over him.

“No more fan fic, okay?” Jimin says, and Jungkook smiles, nuzzling further into his boyfriend’s skin.

“No more,” he agrees.

“Well, at least not alone. If we’re together…that’s a different story.”

Jungkook lifts his head, smirking at Jimin and raising an eyebrow.

“What?” Jimin asks, teasingly. “I’m curious about some of those Yoongi stories…”

“Hey…” Jungkook pretends to pout as Jimin smiles mischievously, booping Jungkook’s nose with his finger.

“Okay, only JiKook then.”

“Only JiKook,” Jungkook agrees.

They stay in each other’s arms for another minute, then Jimin climbs off Jungkook’s lap and extends his hand.

“Let’s go home,” Jimin says. Smiling, Jungkook reaches out to link their fingers together as they head for the door.

--THE END--