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Why Did the Falcon Climb the Tree?

Summary:

Sam knew the eggs had hatched. He also knew that it would be a pain in the ass to try and see what type of baby birds he was dealing with. But it was his job. And on top of that it was time for Steve and James to get a check up. Sometimes Sam hated his job.

Notes:

So Milernamalfoyfelton had said I should write about Sam. And so I have. I hope everyone enjoys it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sam sighed as he stared up the tall tree. He really hated this tree but not because it was a plant or that it was in his way or something. Sam did not hate nature or anything like that.

In fact, Sam loved it. There was only one thing that he loved more than nature itself and that was animals. Particularly birds. That was what he went to school for.

Becoming an expert in Ornithology. Sam found very early on in his career that things like zoos and parks were not his thing. He wanted to be somewhere where he could make a difference.

It was quite by accident that his neighbor found a bird's nest that had fallen from a tree. At the time Sam was between jobs so he decided he could spare the time to take care of the babies.

This wasn't that out of the ordinary as people seemed to do this all the time. Posting their endeavors on social media.

What made Sam stand out was that he not only posted but made a blog. On it he posted the dos and don'ts of rehabilitating a wild animal. This was what got him noticed.

The director of SHIELD, a Wildlife Rehabilitation Center, contacted Sam directly. Saying that watching Sam work was something of aw. The next thing Sam knew was that he was working for SHIELD.

In a few short seasons Sam was the Head of the bird department but his specialty was in water fowl. He was given the nickname Falcon since Sam was relentless in his care for his patients. Sam would swoop in and those under his charge didn't have a chance at death.

Of course release was the goal of the program. But not everything worked like that. Which meant Sam had long term patients he would have to deal with.

Which brought him to this tree.

There were two residents that shared the title of pain in Sam's side. Both of which not only befriended each other but bonded as well. Something that the scientific community was still in an uproar about.

"You want me to go with you Tweety, or you got it?" Sam took his eyes off the tree, rolling them as he looked to the woman on his right. Natasha or Widow as she was known here was the reptile Queen. Her moves were swift and graceful. She was like a spider in a web as she trapped alligators.

It was a thing of beauty.

She was also Sam's girlfriend, which was why he let the Tweety name slide.

"No, I don't need help. I got it." He said with a smirk. Nat stepped forward holding up the climbing harness. They worked seamlessly strapping it into place with practice ease.

"Be careful up there." She said with a kiss to Sam's cheek as he pulled on the backpack. Natasha stepped back letting Sam move closer to the tree. When Sam started to make his climb upwards Nat gave Sam a pat to the butt.

"Tell the Old Guys I said Hi." Sam gave a little chuckle. "Of course Honey." Sam replied, hustling up out of the way of another swat. Natasha hated sweet and cute nicknames.

Sam moved up swiftly and surely up the tree. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for all the branches. They slowed Sam down but it helped in other ways. Just not for him.

A warning shriek sounded above Sam. "It's me!!" Sam shouted up. There was a rustling causing Sam to stop. Sam found his footing, stabilizing himself before he looked up.

A few branches up was an Osprey. The bird stared at Sam with a sharp look. Sam stared back. Finally the bird fluffed up its feathers before turning, moving back up the tree branch by branch.

Sam followed.

This bird was James. Pain in the Ass Number Two. He was the lesser of the troublemakers. In fact, James was the one that was normally trying to get the other out of trouble.

James and his mate were known for being the Old Guys. Coined that for being here as long as they had.

There were a few whistles from James' mate as Sam made it the rest of the way up. Here at the almost midpoint of the tree was the nest. The woods here at the Center had many but this nest was special.

Spanning about the size of both Sam's hands this wasn't the home of a Mockingbird or Sparrow. No, this was something bigger. Of what Sam wasn't sure.

Sam didn't get to meet the female or the male that built the nest. The only thing he did know was that pain in his Ass Number One had taken it over.

Steve was infamous here in the center. A stubborn Loon who had his own way of doing things no matter what SHIELD had to say.

Other creatures here would come or stay close if they needed constant care. Steve on the other claw would make SHIELD come to him. Thank God Steve hadn't figured out how to take the tracker off because it was the only way Sam found him half the time.

Finding a good spot to set up near the nest, Sam set about starting his first order of business which was securing himself. Once that was done Sam hung the backpack up from a limb. Folding out the workspace to do his job.

The two birds watched on as Sam worked. They knew the drill. As soon as Sam was all set up James made his way over to Sam. "Hey man! How are we doing today?" Sam said. James made no noise as Sam looked him over and took his weight.

All the information going down in the notebook. The last thing Sam did was draw blood. "Thanks man." Sam said, giving James a rub to the feathers. James always loves scratches.

After Sam was done with the rubbing, he labeled the vials before putting them away. When Sam looked back up Steve was sitting on the table and James was in the nest.

"Oh I see how it is. I do all this work and you won't let me see the babies?" Sam reached for the nest and both James and Steve snapped their beaks at him.

"Fine." Sam said before going through with Steve's examination. James was always the perfect patient. But Steve.

Steve was an asshole. He never wanted to do what Sam wanted. When Sam was ready to draw blood Steve wanted to be weighed. When Sam was ready to give Steve his medicine. Steve wanted to get his blood drawn.

It was always a process. Finally after it was all done and Steve was watching, puffed up in annoyance on a nearby branch, did Sam pull out the treat he had brought for the pair. That always seemed to get them back on his side. Both birds perked up at the food.

"So," Sam started. "I got food and I believe we were under the agreement that someone had babies to show me." Sam gave them both a meaningful look.

This did not go to plan either. It took a few chunks of fish to get James to move off the nest.

Both birds still stood in the way preventing Sam from getting a look. In the end, Sam had to give up half his stash of fish before the new parents allowed Sam a peek.

Sam took a deep breath. "Eagle chicks, please Lord let it be Eagle chicks." He chanted as he looked into the nest.

The chicks were asleep as Sam stared down at them. All fluffy, cute and yellow. Sam leaned back, staring up to the heavens.

Why him? "Fucking chickens." Sam hissed out.

The harshness of Sam's voice woke said chickens up, causing them to cluck in and out of sync. Sam felt instinct race through him as he rushed to grab his things.

A moment later James was there snapping his beak at Sam in warning. Sam had just thrown the backpack on when Steve darted forward. After that it was a race to get down the tree with the two following after him.

Sam jumped the final couple of feet to the ground. Only then did the pair retreat. Sam laid on the ground trying to get his breathing back under control.

"Well, how did it go?" Natasha said as she stood over him. Sam just laid back on his back staring up at where he could still see James and Steve bouncing around.

"I see Dad and Papa are upset. What did you do Sam?" There was a slight laughter in Natasha's voice. It was hard to make out over Steve and James' threats. Sam guessed he should be glad that Steve didn't take to the air.

It was going to take them some time to calm down. Sam would have to think of something to offer them next visit.

Sam turned his focus away from the birds to look at Natasha. She had worry etched into her features. "Chickens." Sam said in an awe filled voice. "Chickens?" Natasha said back confusingly.

"James and Steve have hatched a clutch of chickens." Sam told Natasha. She studied his face for a moment before breaking into a huge smile. "OMG. Really? You're going to have so much fun sorting this mess out."

Sam had to close his eyes at the thought. He couldn't see how this was going to be fun.

Notes:

This story took me just one day to write. I kept pushing it off due to a few other things but finally said let's get it over with. And so now we have a part 2. I don't know if there will be more. It is all on if I get a good idea. Or if someone gives me another idea. ;)

P.S. Part 1 has a podfic. If you haven't heard it please do. Its good. :)
[Podfic] Nesting for reals this time by TheRothwoman

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