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It’s an unspoken truth that the school prodigy, Dazai Osamu and the school’s best martial artist, Nakahara Chuuya, cannot handle being far apart from one another. Therefore no matter what happens, detaching them from one another should never be attempted.
That's the number one when it comes to Dazai and Chuuya. Separation is to be deemed impossible at all times.
One time, someone tried to do so. That person quickly learned to never repeat it again as they almost got sent to the hospital for both physical and mental damage. An infamous lesson learned by everyone.
(It's something their respective parents learned the hard way. Endless tantrums and broken furniture were one hundred percent involved but no matter how hard they tried to separate them, Dazai and Chuuya would always and always find a way to be together, to the dismay of everyone involved.)
The rule has been followed so far, until Dazai, who's the student council president, has to go on a one week trip for a national school presentation.
Needless to say, neither of them took it well.
"NO! No no no no! I'm not going!" Dazai wailed, eerily similar to a five year old. It sounds ridiculous after all he’s almost of age . Even worse, he's punching and throwing everything within distance.
A tantrum.
But on the other hand, a certain redhead is sulking in the classroom’s far corner and has given up all hope to live.
"One week huh... I would already be old, and wrinkly, and dying before I get to see Osamu again...." Chuuya mournfully mutters, continuing to sulk and curl up further.
It's really not going well.
-----
"What the hell, it's like they switched personalities," says Kunikida.
Trying his best to calm Dazai down and get Chuuya to stop being a depressed potato, but all attempts were futile.
Dazai’s foster father and the school’s administrator, Mori, can only sigh. "They always get like this when they're told they have to be apart."
"Seriously? I thought the 'incident' was bad enough but this is just..." Yosano rubs her temples. Seriously, Dazai's wailing is grating and she's a whole second away from cutting his airways.
Kouyou sighs louder, "We can separate them, but prepare to suffer for the entire week," she warns.
"Can't we just let Chuuya come?" Kunikida suggests.
"Nope, the meeting only allows the principal, an additional school staff and the student council president," Mori replies, pulling Dazai away from a pole he had climbed.
Kunikida frowns from the answer, "We don't have any other choice, do we?"
"Indeed. None at all"
----
Extracting Chuuya was easy enough, but he almost felt lifeless and ever so often grumbles that he'll never grow up happy without Dazai by his side in a seemingly endless loop. (It sounds rather sweet, but he makes it sound like his boyfriend will go away for a decade instead of merely one week.)
Extracting Dazai on the other hand, is an entire warzone altogether.
"NO! I'M NOT GOING. NO, NO! LET GO!"
"Where the hell did he get this much strength from!?" Yells Kunikida in a feeble struggle.
They eventually separated the two, somehow managed to send Dazai away to the event and somehow managed to get Chuuya to go to school.
But the pain only begins.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Day 1:
Chuuya at school continues to be a sad sack potato, mumbling low how he misses Dazai already with his repeated chants of ‘Osamu, i miss you. Osamu, where are you?’
Dazai has not thrown any tantrums yet , but he's been crying and slamming his guitar all day long; the lyrics are all mushed nonsense.
An endless cry of "CHUUYA! I MISS YOU I LOVE YOU! CHUUYA! CHIBI! CHIBIKKO! SLUG! MICROORGANISM! HATRACK! I LOVE YOU. COME BACK."
The school principal, namely Fukuzawa, could do nothing but stand in disgust and awe.
It was only day one but everyone's already tired and beaten.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Day 2 starts. Much to all the “caretakers” dread.
Now Dazai throws a tantrum, which Mori efficiently deals with after years upon years of experience. Fukuzawa is beyond shocked but does nothing other than pat Dazai's back and says, "Just 5 more days."
...That only made Dazai scream and cry more.
Chuuya at this point, doesn't even bother listening to class. He kept staring at the school gate hoping for Dazai to come back, and when he's back home, he takes one of Dazai's t-shirts and puts it on one of his pillows to cuddle with.
Kouyou who caught a glimpse of it by the door can only sigh wistfully.
Day 2 finished, all hope is lost.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Day 3 has been called upon.
Dazai calls Chuuya often, and even more so when they’re apart. He'll call every chance he gets and when the call ends he will proceed to text Chuuya.
Neither of them are allowed to use their phones, especially during discussions or class time. But no one wants to stop them in fear of the fact that they might bite everyone around the vicinity.
—---
Dazai retreats to the hotel and plops on the bed. Speed-dialling the number he's memorised by heart.
It picks up at the first ring.
"Chuuya, baby? Can we video call?"
"Of course, you dummy."
Dazai hears shuffling until he sees Chuuya turn his camera on, then he opens his own camera too.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"Miss me mackerel?"
Dazai presses his face closer to the pillow, "...yeah, a lot."
"Me too," Chuuya chuckles.
He can see Dazai pouting and he wishes he can teleport to the other side of the country and give Dazai a kiss. But sadly, he can't.
"This sucks. Why couldn't they let you go with me."
"It's against the rules, Osamu."
"But they know we don't like being apart."
Chuuya sighs, "Yeah, but they don't have a choice. Neither do we."
Dazai huffs, "Once I get back to Yokohama, I'm kidnapping you and taking you all for myself for a week."
"Please do."
And just like that, they fell asleep to each other's soft breaths.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Day 4 until Day 6 all seemed to pass like a blur.
It was the same repeated pattern of having the school's most intelligent and skilled duo downgrading to sulking children.
Chuuya's known to follow school rules strictly (dress codes are the exception), hence why it was a huge surprise to everyone when he was using his phone during class.
Good thing his Kouyou nee-san is there to explain and that they don't need to worry, since Chuuya can easily keep up with class anyway. Besides, no one has the heart to take his phone away when he's looking at it so fondly and everyone can see that Dazai Osamu is on the screen.
Dazai's case is just nearly, if not, the same. Using the phone during discussions although he has to be discreet lest he wants to get in major trouble.
But as risky as it is, he's more than willing to get punished for his beloved Chibi.
Day 6 ends uneventfully, to the relief of everyone involved.
-------
Day 7 is the day Dazai comes home
And needless to say, Chuuya has stopped paying attention to anyone and everyone.
The only place he's looking at is the school gate.
They know what he’s planning, that’s why the teachers are asking the principal, alongside Mori, to hurry up before Chuuya jumps down the window from the fourth floor.
Still, Chuuya is practically shining with sparkles and stars around him anticipating the return of his boyfriend. It's adorable, but no one dares to say it aloud otherwise they'll summon the wrath and jealousy of Dazai.
The brunette isn't any better, at all. He's even worse, in Mori's opinion.
Which speaks volumes, after all he deals with him 24/7 being Dazai's father and his primary caretaker. Still when Dazai is vibrating and rushing to get the train, Mori doubts it just won't be second hand embarrassment and stress that will kill him at this point.
But finally, after a 1 hour ride, they made it back to Yokohama and quickly rushed to their school.
Mori glances at his side, his son beaming in excitement of being back home . Maybe, he can deal with all the trouble if it means seeing Dazai smile that rivals a thousand suns.
----
Chuuya's “Dazai senses” are ringing. He knows he's close but he can't see where he-
He sees a mop of brown hair, just as the same time as Dazai sees vibrant orange.
And things evolve to further chaos. As usual, with Double Black.
It first started with Chuuya gasping and an extremely faint "Chibi..." in the distance, almost unheard by the school.
Then Chuuya jumps and hangs on to the 3rd floor window bar then proceeds to pull himself up. He jumps to a tree and slowly cascades downwards, only to run at mach speed.
As stressful as it is to watch, especially for the teachers, it was really, really cool. (Even Ranpo, who’s known to never get surprised was impressed, because who would parkour down a 3 story building just to see the love of their life?)
Knowing that Chuuya is athletic, it wasn't a surprise that he runs fast. But Dazai? Dazai's running even faster than Chuuya.
One of the juniors, namely Atsushi, has been recording the entire scene for clout, but ultimately ends up stunned. A serial killer couldn’t get Dazai running, but here he is, running swiftly he could outrun a car. Anticipated to finally be with Chuuya again.
The momentum of the run sent the two tumbling backwards when they finally collided with a hug
"Chuuya! I missed you, it's been ninety years!" Dazai wailed, burying his face in Chuuya's neck.
"I miss you so much too, you idiot, please never go away again."
"You know I won't."
And to everyone observing, it was an adorable scene to witness. Until Dazai and Chuuya started making out then and there and nope, no one needs to experience any more trauma.
“Class will resume. Ignore those two!”
---
Upon the grass, a red haired student lays down. Fiery strands seem to make a halo of fire, enticing Dazai.
Reflected in his vision, are brown locks turned gold from the rays of the sun. Eyes murky red, an illusion from the light and yet, it fits.
Dazai smiles, and embraces Chuuya once more.
"I love you, Chibi~ I missed you."
"You've said that so many times." Chuuya laughs, earning a pout from Dazai.
"I'm kidding. I missed you as well.” Tucking Dazai’s bangs behind his ears, “Love you too, stinky mackerel."
And that entire fiasco, dubbed as “The incident, part 2™ ” taught everyone to never ever separate soukoku again.
------------------------------
+1:
Back at the comforts of their room. They cuddle, tight. Afraid to let go, as one inch apart feels like an entire city away.
They can't and never will be able to bear being so far away from each other.
All that one week of pain to them converts to "personal time".
They have never seen Dazai so red before.
And that speaks volumes, considering that Dazai and Chuuya's family has been very close and a huge part of each other's lives. But hell, even Odasaku is surprised. Because Dazai is blushing so much it reaches up to his neck.
"CHUUYA'S SO STUPID. ARGH I HATE YOU."
"No you don't," Chuuya smirks.
"YES I DO."
"You love me."
"YES BUT I HATE YOU. YOU SHOULD'VE WARNED ME."
"What? I should've texted you 'Oh osamu! I've been wearing your t-shirts and putting some of them on the pillows and took pictures for you' "
"...yes Chibi. Unless you want me to have a heart attack from your cuteness and hotness ne?"
"That's the point."
"So mean, Chibi, so mean."
"Deal with it. You're stuck with me eternity and I'll be intolerable when I want to be. "
Dazai huffs. "Fufu Chuuya thinks I can't tolerate him. Tsk tsk, this is why you'll never be as good of a boyfriend as me."
"Oh fuck off!"
And that answers everyone's questions why Dazai Osamu is blushing red.
Though they'd rather forget that Chuuya was wearing nothing but Dazai's shirt, while he cuddled with a pillow he put Dazai’s shirt on.
...it's just, too erotic and very wrong to visualize Chuuya like that.