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Once upon a time there was a girl who loved her kingdom very much...
The girl was surrounded by darkness.
A warm, crushed velvet black that dulled her senses and stuck to her bare skin. Nevertheless, her limbs felt light, like her consciousness could peel away from her body and float away. So she did. Her dream-self stood and left the prone position she had been trapped in for so long.
Carefully, silently, the dream girl glided through the darkness. "Away, away" insisted her far away thoughts as she continued blindly through unfamiliar passageways. "Away, away" agreed the hoarse voice that might have once been hers.
She could not feel the rough walls against her fingertips as she dragged them along, merely knew they were rough as if told by someone else. Someone above and present and not.
There was no way to know how long she had been drifting for, how far away she had left her aching, trapped body. But she persisted regardless, unable, unwilling, unchanging from a path that she herself did not know.
The ghost girl wandered until she knew instinctively that she had reached her destination, the place her heart had pulled her to.
White fur .
The sad eyes of her protector blinked at her from down the long hallway, but she could not count the blinks as her vision blurred with tears of relief.
White fur .
Safe .
She held onto that thought as she reached out blindly toward her protector. She needed him, she needed them , she-
Rowan often grew restless living in the palace. His whole life he had been kept busy, as a child he had been given chores and lessons and later duties essential for maintaining a manor. As a young adult he had been a soldier, drilling and training and fighting and dealing with the ugliness that resulted. Under Maeve, he had no time even to think most of the time. So the relatively slow life of a prince-consort sometimes left him with too much excess energy.
He knew the new royal statuses of his spouses also grated on them, but he never knew how to bring up his own feelings on the matter. He was the strong one. The stoic wall on which his loves could lean against when they felt unsteady. His own emotions often frustrated him, and it was just so much easier to pretend not to have any.
That relentless energy was what spurred his midnight patrols around the castle. He told himself it was just a walk, but his senses were always on high alert as he scoured the halls for imagined threats.
He never found anything for his trouble, but that didn't mean that this time might be different. That this time might be the time that he catches enemy invaders or assassins or worse. So he grips his sword as he passes silently from hallway to chamber to passage and out again.
Maybe this time it really is different, because he hears a soft scratching sound.
Nails dragging against the wall.
None of the guards would do that, of that he is certain. So he follows the noise to its source as silently as he can. Hands gripping his sword tighter as he plans to sneak up on this invader.
How dare they come into his home, how dare they threaten his loves.
He stalks closer to the threat, and-
Oh .
Fenrys doesn't think too much of himself. He's about average for a fae male in most ways. He's not a particularly gifted warrior and he has almost no magic outside of his beast form. The only thing that made him special was being a twin, and he doesn't really think he qualifies anymore. Well, that wasn't the only thing that made him special. His loves, his husband and wife he thinks giddily, are special. They chose him, him , and every day he strives to deserve that choice.
He sucks up his complaints most of the time (unless he thinks they would make Aelin laugh, and especially if he thinks it'll coax a chuckle out of Rowan) and tries to be helpful in the day to day chores of royalty. Above that, he tries to be as vigilant as possible, solving problems before the others even realize that they're there.
That's how he got to following Aelin's sleepwalking.
She sleepwalks most when she's overtired and stressed or when she goes to bed sad. He has gotten good at preventing those root causes, but it still happens once in a while. So as soon as he sees her sit up in bed he slips out after her.
Usually she'll just wander around for a few minutes before lying down somewhere, and at that point he can scoop her up and bring her back to bed. She'll stay deathly still in his arms as he brings her back until she hits the bed. After that she calms, surrounded by familiar scents.
He mostly avoids Rowan on his midnight walks. He understands the need for space, the animal urge to stalk the night. Plus Rowan isn't a danger to himself, he's awake, painfully so, and he can fend for himself. Besides, Fenrys doesn't want to seem too clingy, too needy, to give Rowan a break from him when Aelin is asleep.
So he makes himself Aelin's protector. In Maeve's prison all he could do was watch helplessly as they hurt his lovely girl, now he could actually defend her if need be. The thought calms him, soothes some still hurting part of him. The fact that he can act now makes his occasional night watches of Aelin almost therapeutic.
He stays in beast form for the most part. Partially out of ease, since he liked to fall asleep in wolf form, and partially for stealth. She never sees him, of that he makes sure. He had asked Yrene about sleepwalking, and she told him never to try to wake or startle a sleepwalker.
"It might just be superstition," she had written "but the soul is said to wander during dreams. If you startle the soul while it is still clinging to the dreaming body, you might scare it away forever."
So he takes pains to make sure her walks are uneventful and he remains merely another shadow.
But tonight is different. Aelin had not taken her usual route, seemingly more panicked than usual, she had taken off almost immediately after Rowan had exited their chambers. She leaned more heavily against the walls, scratching her nails against the painted walls as she went. Usually, she was silent and steady, and this new gait worried Fenrys immensely.
In a split second decision, he decided to make his presence known. For the first time, he slinked out of the shadows and positioned himself directly in front of her.
Her heavy lidded eyes widened as she caught sight of him. She wobbled unsteadily before desperately reaching out toward him. The force of her lunge nearly sent him toppling over as she clung desperately to his white fur. She muttered a string of nonsense into his ear while she nearly ripped his fur out in her grip.
A steady stream of "safe, fur safe, white safe, need, need him, them, save me, please, please" gushed out of her as she squeezed him tighter in her growing panic.
Fenrys did his best to soothe her, rubbing his head against her shoulder and making soft whining noises in response to her whispered ramblings.
That was the scene Rowan walked in on. In one fluid motion, he sheathed his sword and dove to his knees beside his anguished spouses.
“Oh Fireheart,” he whispered, smoothing her creased forehead with his fingers. He continued to run his fingers back and forth along her brow as he looked toward his husband for answers.
Fenrys shrunk under Rowan’s intense gaze, he had failed them, he thought in anguish. Failed. He could not keep Aelin safe and well, could not keep Rowan from finding out and worrying. He had failed them.
Just as that spiral seemed to take hold of him, Rowan placed his forehead against Fenrys’. Gently, he hushed the younger male, putting his free hand on Fenrys’ back beside Aelin’s shaking fist.
They needed Rowan to be their strength, and so he would be.
Slowly, both Fenrys and Aelin came down from their panic. Fenrys finally leaning into Rowan’s comforting touch, and Aelin slumping down into true slumber. Fenrys had once again tensed as he felt Aelin fall limp, but her gentle breaths in his ear calmed him back down.
Rowan scratched behind Fenrys’ ear to get his attention before gingerly taking Aelin into his arms. He stood with Aelin in a bridal carry and inclined his head toward Fenrys to follow him back to their chambers.
Fenrys followed behind Rowan with his head down, looking for all the world like a kicked dog. He was ready for Rowan’s patented disapproving look. He had been on the receiving end of that look for centuries and it was burned into his brain whenever he knew he fucked up. He didn’t think that Rowan would be too harsh with him this time, but he hated to think he disappointed his husband, betrayed his wife, by not keeping her safe.
Rowan laid Aelin gently on the bed and watched her for a moment before sitting down on the bed facing his husband. But his gaze was not what Fenrys was expecting, instead he looked concerned.
“Come here Boy-o” he crooned, motioning for Fenrys to settle his head in his lap. His tone was gentle and open and his eyes looked sincere.
Hesitantly, Fenrys walked over and settled on the floor between Rowan’s legs before placing his great, snowy head on his lap. Softly, Rowan brushed his thumbs over Fenrys’ eyes and down his snout, then back up again. He continued until Fenrys melted into his embrace fully and shifted back into his fae form.
“I’m sorry” he whispered hoarsely, his voice rough from lack of sleep and strong emotion.
“For what?” Rowan asked, in response to his utterly defeated tone.
‘Was this a test?’ Fenrys wondered. “For not protecting Aelin?” he guessed, cringing internally and hoping he had the right answer.
“For not-” Rowan spluttered “Fenrys, you did protect Aelin.”
“But- But I-” Fenrys pleaded “But she-” every time he started the words seemed to die in his throat.
“Oh Boy-o,” Rowan hushed him “none of this is your fault”.
“Wha-” Aelin suddenly mumbled, blinking awake in the dim light of their bedroom, “Iz sumthin goin on?”
“Go back to sleep, Fireheart” Fenrys pleads, aiming for gentle and landing somewhere far more wobbly and tearful.
Aelin immediately sits bolt upright in alarm at his tone.
Looking wildly between her husbands, she nearly flings herself at Fenrys in a hug. He looks so sad kneeling between Rowan’s legs (Usually her favorite position to find them) and she wants to hug him until he looks less like the world is ending (again).
“Are you ok, Puppy?” she asks desperately, leaning around Rowan and putting Fenrys’ face in her hands.
“We should be asking you that” Rowan says surprisingly stiffly, which causes her to turn her face up to meet his serious gaze.
“Me?” she snorts, trying to laugh off the thick layer of tension building, but she soon slumps in defeat. “It was just a nightmare” she concedes.
“Do you remember anything?” Fenrys asks quietly before Rowan can get a word in.
“Bits and pieces,” she concedes again, and then at their expecting silence she adds “both of you were in it”. Aelin pauses then, trying to dredge up the memory of the dream she still very much wanted to repress, and settles herself more comfortably with her head in Rowan’s lap and her hand dangling off the bed and cradling Fenrys’ cheek.
“I was back in Maeve’s prison,” she starts, “and I had somehow gotten free from my body. There was this desperate voice in the back of my head telling me to run, and at first I listened. But then I remembered I couldn’t leave without Fen, and I became panicked because I couldn’t find you my Sweet Puppy. Finally, you appeared and I was so relieved, and then I thought that they were going to take you away and I held on as tight as I could to try to stop them. But then, Rowan was there, and I knew he had saved us, and I was both relieved and terrified that maybe they would hurt him too. I, uh, don’t remember much after that, but I guess I got the gist of it.” She trailed off at the last part, not meeting Fenrys’ eyes.
Fen kissed her palm, clutching her wrist with both hands. His eyes were watery with emotion as he tried his best to comfort her, but Rowan’s next words shocked him.
“I know you’re leaving something out Fireheart” Rowan accused her, leaning over her so that his green eyes staring directly into her teal ones, until a single tear slid down her cheek.
“Ok, I just- I felt helpless at first. And then, I don’t know, I guess I felt guilty for being relieved. Relieved that you were in that dark, scary place too and at least we were all together in hell.”
It was unlike Aelin to give into Rowan that easily. She must have secretly wanted to confess to them, thought Fenrys.
“You don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting to be alone in your struggles” Rowan insisted, playfully tugging a lock of her golden hair.
“I know” she says, but Fenrys doesn’t think she does.
“Well just in case, we’ll keep reminding you until it really sticks in that genius brain of yours” says Fenrys, so earnestly it makes Aelin's heart clench.
Her darling boys, they took such good care of her.
She took each of them by the hand and pulled them (up for Fen and down for Rowan) onto the bed and wrapped them up in her arms. She kissed both of them on the foreheads before snuggling up between her loves. They relaxed in her hold, and eventually the late hour and emotional exhaustion caught up with them and they started to drift off to sleep.
“Thank you” she whispered as she felt herself nodding off.
Neither of them asked what for.
It was understood.
Once upon a time there was a girl who loved her husbands very much…
…and they loved her back just as strongly.