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Cleo was quite proud of the castle she and Joe had built. They worked so hard on it, and being able to see the fruits of their labor was very rewarding. Sure, the interior still needed work, but the exterior was done, and that’s what really mattered.
Cleo didn’t have a destination particularly in mind when she decided to take a walk through the castle’s half finished halls. It was nice to take a break every once in a while and take in their progress, maybe see what needed changing.
She comes to a stop in front of what seemed to be a new room Joe has constructed. One glance inside showed her many high bookshelves and a few tables and chairs. The sign above the archway had “library” written on it in neat cursive.
Curiosity piqued, Cleo went inside. It was a nice place; just as grand as the rest of the castle, but maintaining a cozy atmosphere. Just being inside made Cleo want to sit down with a good book and read for a while.
The tables were mostly empty, except for one. There was a single book open on one of the corner tables with a pen next to it. Curious, Cleo walked over and took a casual glance at its contents.
“JOE!”
Joe Hills nearly jumped out of his skin. Cleo sneaking up on him and shouting his name wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence, but it still startled him every time. He turned from the flower stall he was currently stocking to see her. She didn’t look angry, per se, but she definitely didn’t look happy, either. Bemused, if anything.
“Well howdy, Cleo!” Joe replied, once his heart rate managed to go back to its usual pace. “What can I do for you on this fine afternoon?”
Cleo held up the book she was holding. “Have you been writing fanfiction about our friends?”
Oh, so that’s what this was about.
Joe simply nodded. “I have been writing transformative literature about us and our fellow hermits, yes.”
Cleo just raised an eyebrow. They stood there in silence for just a little longer than was comfortable, before Joe continued.
“Honestly Cleo, I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You already know I write fanfiction, sometimes. Heck, you’ve even read some of them.
“Yes Joe, but that’s… that’s different. I’ve never seen you write this kind of fanfiction before.” She then opened the book and flipped some of the pages, reading aloud some of the titles and headings for the short stories. “ Hermit x reader oneshots, Evil Xisuma x Wormman slow burn, Rendoc enemies to lovers? Joe, what the hell is this?”
“It’s simple supply and demand, Cleo. See, this is the content that plenty of people want to read, but next to no one is willing to write. I’m providing a public service, Cleo. I’m giving the people what they want.”
“What people? Who are these people, Joe?”
“Oh, you know!” Joe gestured around vaguely. “The people!”
Cleo looked absolutely dumbfounded. “So you’ve been writing…” Cleo turned a couple pages “ Mumbo Jumbo’s Maid dress adventure . For the ‘people’.”
Joe nodded. “Yes, exactly.”
Cleo blinked, waving the book around for extra dramatic effect. “Joe, this book is five hundred pages. And it’s nearly full! How much fanfiction do you write?”
“Ah, well, when it comes to fics about us and our friends, that’s the…” Joe paused, for a moment, to count with his fingers, “fourteenth edition, give or take.”
“Four- what- where are the other thirteen?! ”
“They’re kept safely in the library's archives. Of course, there are printed copies available for reader consumption. Did you want one?” Joe smiled up at her.
“B- wh- NO I do not want one! Joe, this is completely absurd!”
Joe just nodded, completely agreeably. Cleo looked like she kind of wanted to punch him in the face, which wasn’t all that unusual, for her. “Yes, but, as I have said, this is the kind of shocking and provocative art people want. I have a small but passionate following that absolutely loves the kind of reading material I provide for them. Just, here, here look at this.”
He pulled his communicator out from his pants pocket, which conveniently looked and acted almost exactly like a smartphone. He tapped it open and practically shoved it into Cleo’s face. “See? this fic has fifteen comments!”
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, what with the screen appearing about two inches away from her nose, but once she was able to see the webpage open before her, she cringed deeply, then pushed the not smartphone out of her face.
“Joe, have you been posting your fics on AO3?”
“Of course I have! Where else would I post them, Wattpad?” Joe scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Cleo. I have at least some credibility.”
“ Credibility. Joe, in my eyes, you don’t have any credibility left at all. Not after this. ”
“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m a professional in my field!”
“Your field… of writing bad fanfiction? I’d hardly call that a field. ”
“I’ll have you know that my field of writing” Joe paused to use air quotes “‘bad fanfiction’, is what paid for the majority of the castle’s bricks and mortar! It’s what’s been paying the bills, Cleo! So a little appreciation would be nice!”
“Paying the- how on earth have you been making money off of this?!”
Joe crossed his arms and held up his chin proudly. “I take commissions.”
“Commissions, Commissions. Joe, who in their right mind would pay you to write this drivel?”
“Plenty of people! Heck, I’m the sole supplier of reading material for at least half of the server!”
“OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN BUYING FANFICTION FROM YOU?”
“Yeah! I’m not naming names but I will say some of them have… interesting taste.”
A moment of silence passed. Cleo breathed in sharply through her nose, then sighed deeply. ”you know what, Joe, I don’t even- I don’t even want to know. Here.” Cleo unceremoniously tossed the book down on the flower barrel in front of him. “You have fun with your weird, literature. I’m gonna go… fight something, probably.”
Joe took the book, briefly flipping through the pages to make sure none of them were creased or damaged. Upon seeing that it was all still in perfectly mint condition, he nodded, closed the book and gave Cleo a smile and a wave. “Okay Cleo! You have a fun time!”
She was already walking away, and gave Joe nothing more than an exasperated grunt in response.
Suddenly, his comms buzzed with a DM notification.
Ethoslab: hey joe hows the new catboy kakashi found family fic coming along
JoeHills: Howdy, Etho! It’s almost done! Just needs a few minor edits. I’ll get to to you later this evening, probably
Ethoslab: cool thx
Joe smiled, then sifted through his inventory for the notebook titled “Etho’s Naruto fics”. His comms buzzed again, this time Grian inquiring about his self insert Harry Potter AU. He cracked his knuckles. It was time to get back to work.