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Purrfectly Perfect

Summary:

Inside, there was a Mark-VII helmet.

It was pristine.

It was blue.

It had cat ears attached to it.

Cortana shook her head as soon as she saw the helmet. “No. Absolutely not.”

Notes:

This is all 343's fault. One, for making the cat ears helmet. Two, for making my poor heart go through the ending of Infinite.

I mean, just look at those tags. Established relationship?? MARRIED COUPLE??? a Teen rating???? Oh yeah, living in denial is a beautiful thing, my friends.

A couple of notes, this accepts that everything up to and through Infinite has happened...then it takes off on its own. Things that won't be explained: how Cortana became human, how the Infinity got repaired, why Cortana is a Spartan. But, really, with the tag "cat ears", who cares?

There is absolutely zero angst in this story and there is actual happiness for these two kids.

Also, this story obviously has a slight crackfic edge to it, because, again, cat ears, but I did try my best to keep all of them in character (which explains the 3k words of building backstory.) but if anything seems too wildly OOC, just remember, AU where these kids get to be happy and in love.

A big shoutout to the random person on Twitter who commented "the cat ears stay on, Cortana" which really was the reason this story came to life.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Only you could have your honeymoon end like this.” Fred clapped John on the shoulder as he walked by him.

"This"  was an attack on the Avery Johnson Academy of Military Sciences. 

Despite the UNSC’s best effort to keep the location secret, somehow the Banished had managed to find the facility. They had launched an attack that, despite the trainees' best efforts, leveled nearly every building in less than a day. The Infinity had been called to assist the attack; John and Cortana, who were on shore leave, had been picked up and ordered to work with the other Spartans to save as many recruits and munitions as possible.

"Protecting humanity. It's what we do, no-"

"--matter the cost," Fred finished. "I know, Chief. You're just lucky you married someone who thinks like you do."

Being told he was lucky was nothing new; John had heard it from everyone from Dr. Halsey to Chief Mendez to Cortana, but in this case, he knew how right Fred was. When Cortana had heard about the attack, she hadn't hesitated to hop on the transport ship that had taken them to where the Infinity had been waiting for them. 

Quickly, they had suited up and went down to the surface. John had partnered with Fred and Kelly to transport the viable munitions back to the Infinity while Linda and Cortana were leading a rescue mission with several other Spartan-IVs to free the Spartan trainees that had barricaded themselves from enemy forces.

Fred walked away and John opened a channel to the AI.  "What's Cortana’s status?" 

A window appeared on his HUD. The Weapon looked slightly amused by his question. "Same as before, Chief. She'll contact you when the objective is complete." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I won't tell her how much you worried."

He wasn’t worried. He just wanted to know that Cortana was alright. They were two different things.

“We’ve loaded the last of the SPNKRs in the transport.” Kelly walked up to John. “We’ve got several containers of–”

An explosion from the east – the same area where Cortana and Linda were – rattled the ground.

Forget radio silence. John opened his private comm channel. “Cortana, please respond.” He did his best to mask his concern but knew his voice had an edge to it that wasn’t normally there.

“Cortana.”

There was no response.

John was tempted to hop on the closest Warthog and look for Cortana and the others himself. The Weapon spoke before he could. “She’s alright, Chief. Her vitals are strong, based on the readings from her armor. They just have their hands full.”

“Do they need reinforcements?” That Warthog was still looking very appealing.

Before the Weapon could answer, Cortana’s voice cut through the air. “All 76 Spartans are safe and are on their way to the extraction point.”

The relief in Cortana’s voice was impossible to miss. So was the exhaustion.

“What’s your status?”

“Hey! I told you she was fine! Don’t you trust me yet?” The Weapon sounded offended, but John couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad. Data coming from armor was one thing, hearing Cortana tell him she was alright was another.

There was a half-second pause before she replied, “As good as can be, Chief. We are in the middle of an active battlefield after all.”

“Understood. We’ll meet you at the extraction–”

“Actually, ONI has a new mission for the two of us. Well, three of us, actually.” John could hear the rumble of a Mongoose in the background. “ONI wants us to infiltrate the center hub, upload all sensitive data to the Infinity, then destroy the system. Alone.”

That was not going to be easy. 

An unsettling feeling washed over John. He knew that there were some in Section Three that disapproved of his relationship with Cortana, and Cortana herself. Despite the fact that she had atoned for her past and proven repeatedly that she was no longer the threat that she once had been, there were some who could not look past her mistakes.

“Maybe I should have glassed some planets instead. They sure seemed to forgive the Sangheili easily enough.” Cortana had said one time, after a tense meeting with ONI. When John had offered to talk to Osman, Cortana had declined. “If I can’t fully forgive myself, how can I expect anyone else?”

Cortana sighed, pulling John out of his memory.  "Get the feeling they're waiting for us to mess this up?"

"We'll complete all the objectives. Just like we always do."

“I know we will. I’m on my way to the rendezvous point. I’ll be there in five.” 

The channel closed. John made his way to Kelly and Fred, explaining his new mission.

“Quite the wedding gift,” Kelly said as she placed a cargo container in the belly of a Pelican. “I didn’t think that Osman would be so thoughtful.”

“It would be a shame if the coordinates were accidentally uploaded to our HUDs and we happened to be available for ground or air support.” Fred picked up the last of the containers. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

The Weapon spoke on their private comm channel.  “You’ve got some good friends, Chief.” 

“I know.” To Kelly and Fred, he said, “Focus on your objective. We’ll be fine.”

The Weapon spoke from his helmet speakers. “What he meant to say was, thank you and we’ll be taking you up on that offer if we need the help.” 

Kelly walked up to him. “It’s ok, John. This isn’t Genesis.” She paused. "Whatever decisions Fred and I make, that's on us. Not you."

John shouldn’t have been caught off guard by how well she knew him. After all, Kelly was his oldest friend. But still, he’d like to think that the guilt that he held after so many years for leading his fellow soldiers – his siblings – to disobey the UNSC’s orders was well-hidden.

Apparently, he was wrong.

“I didn’t–” He silenced his denial. “Thank you.”

Before the moment got too awkward – Spartans didn’t really handle emotions that well – the Weapon cut in. “We need to go if we’re going to be able to complete the objective before Commander Palmer is finished setting up the charges around the base.”

The Spartans nodded at each other, silently saying goodbye. 

In the end, John decided against using the Warthog. The area where he was meeting Cortana wasn’t too far away and he would rather the vehicle be transported onto the Infinity where it could be used for future campaigns.

ust as John was able to reach the rendezvous point, his comm channel opened. “I might be a couple of minutes behind schedule. If I’m not there in ten minutes, go ahead and start making your way to the main facility. I’ll meet you there.” Sounds of gunfire in the background made it difficult for him to hear Cortana.

“I can double back–”

“No. That’s exactly what ONI would want you to do.” A blast sounded. "I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Then the channel went silent. 

John frowned. “What isn’t she telling me?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” the Weapon asked. “Because I sort of remember telling you that when the two of you got married, I wasn’t going to start taking sides.”

No, he could wait. He trusted both of them to tell him if something was seriously wrong. 

“Besides…” she continued. Three Grunts started charging towards him, active plasma grenades in each hand. “...you’ve got bigger things to deal with right now.”

John threw down a drop shield in front of him before steadying his aim with the auto rifle. After three short bursts of fire and an explosion that shook the ground later, the area was once again clear from enemies.

While he waited for Cortana’s arrival, he checked the status of the other teams. Palmer and her people were halfway done with setting up the charges around the base; The Blue Team was nearly complete with transferring all usable vehicles and munitions back to the Infinity.

He looked at the timer on his HUD. Nearly ten minutes had passed and Cortana hadn’t arrived. He opened a comm channel to her. “Cortana.”

“I’m right here, John.”

The Spartan spun around at the sound of her tired voice.

She stood, carbine rifle in hand. Her visor was pulled up, allowing him to see her face. A trail of blood trickled down her cheek from her temple.

“It’s worse than it looks.” She offered him a small smile.

John didn’t return the gesture. 

Instead, he pulled her by the arm into a tiny alcove. “You said you were good.”

“I said I was as good as can be.” She pulled away slightly from him, straightening. “And I am.” There was a challenge in her voice.

John held out his hand and the Weapon activated her avatar. “Actually…she’s not. She took a direct hit from a spike grenade that left her HUD malfunctioning and rendered her shields offline. Until she can find a replacement, she’s vulnerable.”

The woman in front of him narrowed her eyes. “Traitor.”

The AI shrugged. “Since you weren’t going to tell him, someone had to. No taking sides, remember?”

John’s radar was detecting at least a dozen Banished forces headed in their direction. “We’ve got company.”

Cortana straightened as the Weapon deactivated her avatar. “I have a threat detector that I can deploy. It should help you detect the Elites with active camo. I can offer covering fire–”

“I’ll be fine.”

Cortana raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to go into that–” She nodded in the direction of where the Banished forces were coming from. “Alone.”

He stood a better chance against them if he wasn’t worried about Cortana’s safety. He knew she was capable. Sometimes she could take down a target faster than he could, but with her armor being damaged and the risk being high, all he wanted to do was take care of her the best way he knew how. 

Which, at this moment in time, was with bullets and his fists.

“Give me five minutes. If I’m not finished with them, then you can help.”

He was done in three.

Cortana stepped over the bodies of the fallen enemy soldiers, making her way to where John stood. She raised an eyebrow. “Guess someone should warn the Banished about your protective streak.”

John plucked a couple of grenades from the unfortunate Grunt who had fallen by his foot. “We need to move.”

They started slowly making their way to the only building that hadn’t been completely destroyed by the barrage of fire. 

“I think I found something that will help Cortana.” A point appeared on John’s HUD. “There is a small prototype lab in the west wing. There should be something we could find there.”

He led them down the corridor. Deep cracks ran through the wall. “Is this stable?”

“Stable enough.” When she spoke, there was a frown in her voice. “Chief, we don’t have a choice. Commander Palmer mentioned at least two pairs of Hunters out there. We need to get her shields back up and working.”

John didn’t disagree. He glanced to his left where Cortana was walking beside him. The bleeding from her temple seemed to have stopped, but he knew he wouldn’t be relaxed until her armor could be back in working condition.

“I can hear your thoughts which is pretty incredible considering I’m not in that head of yours anymore.” Cortana’s hand brushed against his as she moved past him. “Stop worrying. You just took out an entire company because you got upset that I got a little scrape on my face.”

“That,” he nodded in the direction of her injury, “is not a scrape.”

Cortana shrugged. “It comes with the territory. You of all people know that.”

Yes, that might have been true, but John still hated seeing anyone, but especially her, hurt.

“Should be able to find something useful in this lab.” A new NAV point popped up.

John nodded to the end of the hall. “She found something.”

“Good.” Cortana looked around the crumbling walls. “The sooner we get out of here, the better. It won’t take long for them to send reinforcements.”

They made their way to a small storage area tucked in the bowels of the testing facility. The doors slid halfway open, but there was enough room for the Spartans to get through. There were several containers in the room.

“Should be the second one from the top, if I’m detecting the signal correctly.”

John moved the top container off the pile; Cortana lifted the lid.

Inside, there was a Mark-VI helmet.

It was pristine.

It was blue.

It had cat ears attached to it.

Cortana shook her head as soon as she saw the helmet.  “No. Absolutely not.”

John picked up the helmet, inspecting it. It seemed to be in excellent condition. “Do you have any other ideas?”

“Yes,” she pushed past him and started looking inside the container, “seeing if there are any other helmets that I can use.”

He watched as she pulled out several other pieces of armor: a breastplate, two pairs of gauntlets, and another helmet with the same cat ear design.

“I want to know who came up with this,” Cortana said, frowning. 

“Does that mean you’ll use it?”

“I don’t really have a choice, now do I?” She popped off her old helmet. There was blood trickling down her face. The angry wound told the story of the firefight Cortana had survived.

John was no stranger to the effects of war. He had held people in their arms as they took their last breath, carried Marines back to the base in hopes that a medic could save their life, but this was different. This was his wife and he was not going to let some mission from ONI stop him from doing what he did best: take care of her. 

John set the helmet down on the ground. “Wait here.” He quickly backtracked to the main lab and found a medkit. 

He made his way back to the storage room, Cortana still studying the helmet. He stopped in front of her, holding up the medical supplies.

“It’s nothing, really.” She eyed the antiseptic wearily.

“Based on the scans, the cut is superficial. She could wait to receive treatment until we’re back on the Infinity ,” the AI offered.

He didn’t care if the injury was superficial or not. He just wanted to take care of her.

“Cortana.” He knew she couldn’t see his face but could hear the determination in his voice. “Please.”

She sighed, but there was warmth in her eyes. “Fine, but the next time you come limping into our quarters don’t complain when I want to doctor you up.”

A blush and a faint smile covered his face – not that she would know it. “I look forward to it.” Then he reached out and grabbed her chin so he could get a better look at the injury.

Her eyebrow arched as he applied the antiseptic to her wound. “I’m sure you would.”

John let his hand drop and looked at Cortana. Now that the blood had been cleaned away, the cut didn’t look nearly as bad. He quickly applied a butterfly bandage and allowed himself the brief indulgence of running his gloved hand down her cheek.

“Just a friendly reminder we’ve got more Banished incoming,” the Weapon said from the speakers. “And I’d rather not be in a half-collapsed building when they show up.”

Cortana leaned into his hand for a fraction of a moment before he pulled it away. They needed to get back to finishing their objective.  “Thanks, John.”

He reached down and scooped up the helmet before handing it to Cortana.

She slipped it over her head and picked up the carbine before starting to make her way out. 

It was actually cute, not that John would ever be foolish enough to tell Cortana that. But still, he couldn’t help but lean down close to her as he passed by and say, “And Cortana? The cat ears stay on.”

Before she could reply, a loud horn sounded from outside. The Banished had returned. 

*********

Wanting to avoid another firefight, they decided to use the underground network of tunnels that ran throughout the facility. Cortana followed John, allowing him to take point.

John had done a good job tending the wound, but her head still throbbed. She regretted not asking if the medkit John had found had any pain medication. But, she knew once they were back on the Infinity, Dr. Noxolo would be able to treat her properly.

A window popped up on her HUD. The AI was frowning slightly. “Are you doing ok? I know Spartans are known to just walk pain off, but if you need a minute–”

“You already know what I’m going to say.”

The AI smiled ruefully. “I do.”

“It’s just a headache.” And possibly a concussion. Cortana turned left, still trailing behind John. “You’d think after being a human for a couple of years, I’d be used to the concept of pain by now.”

“And people wonder why I don’t want to become a human.” She put out her hand in front of her. “No. Way.”

It was the one major difference between Cortana and the Weapon. Despite the technology being available, the AI never expressed the slightest bit of interest in becoming human. 

“I still don’t get how we have the same programming and you aren’t interested at all in becoming a human.”

“Two reasons,” The Weapon held up one finger. “First of all, I spent the first six months of my life in the most incredible Forerunner system. I’m more at home there than anything the UNSC has ever made. And two,” she continued, holding up another finger, “I’m not in love with a big, broody Spartan.”

“You know that’s not why–”

“Sure.” She winked. “Whatever you say.”

As if he knew they were talking about him, John looked back at Cortana. “We need to get moving.”

“We are moving, Chief.” The Weapon rolled her eyes. “He’s grumpy when he’s in his protective mood.”

“I’ve noticed.”

They kept moving forward.

Finally, after several close calls and a few stealthy takedowns of patrolling Grunts, they made their way into the facility’s central hub. As they entered the main control room, Cortana made her way to one of the computer panels as John transferred the AI to the plinth next to her. 

Cortana looked over at the Weapon. “I’ll start the transfer while you work on uploading the virus.” 

She nodded. “Already on it.”

In a lot of ways, working with her, another Cortana model was the easiest thing for Cortana to do.  They worked together seamlessly, often picking up on each other’s thoughts and coming up with seemingly impossible solutions on the fly. If there was one regret that Cortana had about not being an AI anymore, it was the fact that data infiltration took more time and energy than it ever had before. 

But, as she watched the AI effortlessly weave through the system, she couldn’t say that her replacement did any worse than her. In fact, if she had to admit, she might even be better.

Cortana, before everything that had happened that led her to her new chance at life, would have resented that fact. Now, she was grateful that John – and the UNSC – had someone else to help sift through all the data of the Forerunners, Banished, and Precursor. After all, she knew what happened to someone who had that much knowledge and power unchecked.

A tiny frown passed over her lips. Now was not the time to dwell on regret.

"There's a lot more data here than I expected. I've already established a compression algorithm that will allow the transfer to go faster." The Weapon shook her head. "There really are some people who want the two of you to fail, huh?"

Cortana didn't reply, she just kept on uploading the data. But despite working as fast as they could, they were still only about a third of the way through the transfer when a proximity alarm sounded. 

The Banished had found them.

“I’ll hold them off.” John was already halfway to the corridor. “How much time do you need?”

“Six minutes.” Both of them answered at the same time. To his credit, John didn’t look the least bit phased by their speaking in tandem.

He nodded and walked out the door, battle rifle in hand.

As she worked on making sure all the data was being received by the Infinity, Cortana heard several explosions outside. She glanced out of the corner of her eye to where the Weapon was still accessing the facility's systems. The AI didn’t seem the least bit phased by what was going beyond the doors so she knew that John was still safe.

She worked as fast as she could, contacting Roland on the Infinity to make sure the data was reaching the vessel securely. The data that had been transmitted so far  – along with the seventy-six Spartans she and Linda had helped rescue earlier – were safe on the ship, he had assured her.

Content that there was nothing to do but wait for the transfer to be complete, Cortana scooted back from the panel. 

“You know,” Cortana heard the laughter in the Weapon’s voice as she nodded towards the helmet, “they really don’t look that bad.”

“You’re not the one wearing them.” She reached up to feel the offensive modification. What Spartan would actually wear these on the battlefield?

“Hey!” The Weapon held her hands up in defense. “There’s no reason to be catty.” A smile started growing on her face.

Cortana frowned. “Don’t even think about it.”

A wide grin spread across the Weapon’s face. “Why? They really do look purr-fect.” Before Cortana had a chance to respond, she continued, “Besides, the Chief seems to really like them. He keeps glancing at you when he thinks you’re not looking and his vitals–”

“Are we done here?”

Cortana jumped at the unexpected voice. John, it seemed, had taken care of the Banished threat outside. 

The AI, however, seemed unbothered by his appearance. In fact, she looked like she was enjoying making the two of them feel awkward. “Almost.”

Cortana pinged Commander Palmer who was setting up the charges around the facility. A moment later, she got the green light that the charges had been set. 

“Palmer’s team is at the LZ for extraction now. Echo-216 will be waiting on the east side of the facility once we are done here.” Cortana looked at the AI. “The last of the files are uploaded, you can purge the system.”

“Three, two, one.” She snapped her fingers. “Done!” 

John’s hand hovered over the plinth as she transferred herself out of the system. Cortana checked the countdown timer until the explosives were set to go off: twelve minutes. They would be cutting it close.

“Tell Echo-216 to meet us at the coordinates now.” John’s voice sounded even, but Cortana knew he was nervous about how much time they had to escape the facility.

“He’s already on his way.”

The Spartans sprinted down the hall. The timer kept counting down. 

At the end of the grounds, exactly where Esparza would need to land were two pairs of Hunters, waiting. One pair was stomping around the top of the tall building in front of them while the other duo was pacing on the ground, blocking their path. Both sets of Hunters would need to be dealt with if Esparza was going to be able to land.

Cortana looked at John. “Do you want to take top or bottom?”

“You’re usually on top.” There was an unusual heat behind his words.

Oh.

So he was in the mood to banter, was he?

She arched an eyebrow, although he couldn't see it behind her visor. "I thought you liked me taking that position." 

"I do. But if you ever want to mix things up a little..."

"I'll let you know. But for now--" An image of John pinned underneath her, breaths ragged, flashed through her mind. "I'll take the top. Gives me a good view of things."

He looked at her for a second and she wondered what he was thinking. “The view from the bottom isn’t bad either.” His voice rumbled.

"Um hello?" The Weapon appeared from John's gauntlet looking more than a little annoyed. "As much fun as you two are having flirting on the battlefield, you do remember that we have ten minutes to escape before this entire facility explodes, right?”

“Right.” John took a step away from Cortana, allowing her to sift through the fallen munitions on the ground. 

There.

A Skewer.

"Be careful." It was a quiet request, but Cortana heard the worry behind his words.

"You too."

John nodded as he started moving stealthily towards the bulking Hunters. He pulled out a plasma grenade. As expected, the grenade landed on its intended target. The Hunters howled, but Cortana couldn’t allow her attention to be divided any longer. She had her own set of enemies to deal with.

She moved to the roof where the Hunters were. They weren’t alone; four Grunts were also patrolling the top of the building. She swapped the Skewer for the carbine, wanting to save the heavy artillery for the bigger beasts.

Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have the same luck that John had because almost immediately, one of the Grunts saw her and shrieked. “Watch out!”

Another one looked at her and shouted, “They’ve got cat Spartans now! Feline killing machines! RUN!!!”

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel satisfaction when she clubbed that Grunt over the head with the back of her gun. Several quick bursts of gunfire later, she was alone with the hulking pair of Mgalekgoto.

Swapping to her skewer, she quickly calculated the shots she would need to take in order to subdue the enemy. The first shot hit one of the Hunters perfectly. He stumbled backward, allowing Cortana to reload the weapon. 

Before she was able to get in her next shot, the other Hunter fired. She grappled across the building, escaping the deadly gunfire. She tossed a grenade in the duo’s direction, satisfied that it hit its target. Another shot from the skewer, and the first Hunter fell.

Cortana allowed herself to look at the timer. Just over seven minutes. She could do this.

She reloaded her weapon. When she looked up, however, the Hunter was nowhere to be found.

A feeling of dread settled over her.

She was being hunted.

Her radar alerted her to the enemy’s position, but it was too late to avoid the blast from its assault cannon. The impact of the blast knocked her into the side of the building. Her shields screamed at her and she was fairly sure the wound on her temple had split open again. 

Well, that’s how he wanted to play, huh?

She waited for her shields to recharge as she scanned the area in front of her. 

There. 

She took aim at the remaining Hunter. As soon as the first bullet hit its mark, Cortana had already loaded another and fired her next shot. She didn’t have time to play this cat and mouse game any longer.

As he staggered under the impact, Cortana was forced to switch to the carbine since the Skewer ammo had been spent. She fired several bursts from the plasma weapon and finally, the Hunter fell.

Four minutes left. 

She ran to the edge of the building and jumped. She rolled into the tumble and stood up quickly. John was waiting there, looking only slightly worse for wear.

He looked at her for a brief second. “You ok?”

She opted not to tell him about the injuries she sustained; his worry wouldn’t help them get out of the facility. She shrugged. “I’m fine. You’ve been through worse.”

He started walking forward to where Echo-216 would be picking them up. “You know that’s not saying much, right?” He sounded tired.

“I know, but–”

The scream of a pair of Banshees filled the air. Cortana’s heart sunk.

“Esparza’s not going to even try landing here.” The Weapon seemed as dejected as Cortana felt. 

A second later, the pilot contacted them over their comm channel. “If you can’t clear those out, you’re on your own for a ride.”

Lovely.

Cortana looked at John. “We've got just over three minutes before Palmer’s charges are set to go off. Options?”

His answer came by way of the buzzing in the air. Two Wasps were quickly moving to their position. Moments later, gunfire pelleted the Banshees. 

Blue Team had arrived.

Cortana watched as they outmaneuvered the Banished vessels, not once relenting their barrage of bullets. Less than a minute later, the enemy aircraft were falling to the ground, disabled and useless.

“Guess these things still work.” The smugness in Fred’s voice was impossible to miss.

“Good thing we managed to find targets before we had to leave.” Kelly, too, seemed to enjoy her role in all of this. “Now get them out of here, Echo-206.”

Moments latter, the Pelican landed in front of them, the rear hatch already opened. 

“We need to move now.” Esparza always had a gift for stating the obvious.

Cortana and John ran into the belly of the plane. Esparza started taking off before the hatch door closed.

Thirty-four seconds. They had done it.

When they had cleared the blast zone, the pilot looked back at them. When he saw Cortana – and her cat ears – he did a double-take.

Cortana held up a finger. “Not one word, Esparza.” 

He turned back to face the front of the cabin, holding his hands up in defense. “What you and the big guy are into…well, I want to know nothing about it.”

************************

“Going for the battle-worn Spartan look, huh?” 

It had been just over an hour since they had returned to the Infinity. Cortana was immediately whisked away to the Infirmary while he was called to the first of several debriefings. John stopped his walk and waited for Cortana to catch up with him. He looked down at his armor, caked with dirt, blood, and who knows what else. “Apparently.”

Cortana scrunched up her nose. “Just be sure to get yourself cleaned up before you come to our quarters.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He studied her for a second, paying close attention to where the injury on her temple was. 

She reached up and touched her head. “Not even a concussion. I guess it was worse than it looked.”

“Good.”

Cortana smiled before changing subjects. “How many more debriefings do you have left?”

“Two. You?”

“One more with ONI.” She placed her hand on her hip. “Only we could have this kind of end to our honeymoon.”

“You’ve been talking with Fred.”

She shrugged. “He’s not wrong, but don’t worry, John. I don’t have any complaints. Saving humanity is kind of our thing after all.”

She was right, and he certainly didn’t resent what they had done. After all, he had a job to protect humanity, no matter the cost. 

He looked at Cortana.

Well, maybe there was one thing that wasn’t worth the cost.

“I should go.” Cortana’s fingers grazed across the top of his hand. “I’ll see you back home.”

Their quarters. Home. John couldn’t get there fast enough.

Another three hours passed, but finally, John was done with all the debriefings and had been given orders from Lasky to take another 36 hours of leave.

He wasn’t going to complain. 

Now, out of his armor, showered, and knowing the Cortana was waiting for him in their quarters, John couldn’t wait to take the captain up on his offer. 

He entered their quarters. The door to their vanity room was closed; the light shone underneath. He was tempted to call out to Cortana, but he had a feeling she knew he was there. Despite the fact their connection had changed drastically over the years, she always seemed to know where he was.

He walked over to the dresser and pulled out his sleepwear. He quickly got undressed, before pulling on the pair of loose-fitting pants. For a moment, he considered putting on a shirt, but after today, after seeing Cortana injured on the battlefield, John would allow himself the one concession of being able to hold her close tonight, no armor or anything separating himself from her. 

It was still their honeymoon, after all.

Despite his exhaustion, John didn’t lay on their bed. Instead, he dropped himself to the ground and started doing sets of one-armed pushups. 

A couple of minutes later, the door opened from behind him. “I thought you were tired.” She sounded amused.

John didn’t look up, determined to finish the entire set of exercises. “I am.”

“You have a strange idea of resting.” He could feel her gaze running over his body. “Not that I’m complaining.”

A small, tiny part of him preened at her praise. Most people only saw the armor, but if Cortana wanted to admire the body too, well, who was he to shun such admiration?

He pushed himself off the floor and stood up, looking at Cortana.

She was wearing her normal nighttime attire: a pair of shorts and a cami top that left little to John’s imagination. Just because I’m human doesn’t mean I have a sudden affinity for clothes, John she had told him one time. He raised his gaze to her face – But then, something caught his eye.

She was wearing a pair of glittery cat ears.

Despite the rumors around the UNSC, John was, in fact, not a machine. He may have been more focused than most but love, lust ran through his veins. Like now.

Especially now.

Briefly, he wondered where she had gotten them before deciding that he really didn’t care. All that mattered was that she was standing in front of him, mischievous smile and all, looking like she wanted him to kiss her.

Now that his mind had a new objective – to kiss Cortana –, his body was quick to obey the order. He took one step, then another. Inches separated the two of them.

He reached up and touched the ears on top of Cortana’s head with one hand. Her fingers grazed against his abs as she moved closer to him. 

Yeah, forgoing the shirt was definitely a good idea. 

He leaned down to kiss her. Cortana met each of his kisses with enthusiasm. Her fingers trailed fire as they ran across his body. Though this – physical intimacy – was still relatively new to both of them, they, like with everything else they set their minds to, were eager to master this next step in their relationship.

Hands roamed. Breaths mingled. Lips met each other again and again.

As the kisses slowed, John reached down to cup her jaw before pulling away slightly. Her lips were puffy; her warm breath caressed his lips.

He didn’t think he’d ever get used to this, feeling happy. Feeling loved.

“Apparently,” her voice was low, eyes twinkling with mischief,  “your AI partner thought it would be funny to have a pair of these sent down to our quarters.”

Funny?

He might have had an inexplicable smile on his face since he noticed the ears on Cortana’s head, but John certainly wasn’t laughing.

“Did she?”

Cortana leaned down to kiss his chest as she nodded. Her lips pressed against the spot where she had reached up and touched him for the first time in their private bubble, hovering above Earth. Even now, years later, John swore the heat of that initial touch never went away. He always felt her with him.

As she raised her head, the cat ears bumped into John’s chin. Cortana rolled her eyes as if offended by the accident. “I think it’s time to let these go.” She reached up as if to take off the ears.

That was not going to happen.

John shook his head before gently grabbing her wrist, stilling her movement. He leaned close to her ear as he brought her hand down to her side. 

“I told you,” he placed one kiss, then another on her jaw. A quick gasp from Cortana prompted him to place another kiss right below her ear, “the cat ears stay on, Cortana.”

She pulled back, studying him for a second. Then, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. Her arms snaked around his neck.

Each kiss brought them closer to their bed. When John’s legs hit the edge, Cortana pushed him down towards to mattress. Being the consummate soldier he was, he obeyed her silent command without hesitation. 

He shifted slightly, allowing her to have room to move over him. She took advantage of the silent invitation and climbed over him, straddling his hips.  

John was going to find some way to thank the Weapon for her brilliant idea. 

Later. 

Much, much later. 

Cortana leaned over him. Those stupidly perfect ears were twinkling in the light. She brought her hands down to his abs and slid them up his body, leaning down until her lips were almost touching his. He felt more than saw her smile.

“Whatever you say…” she purred, “...Meowster Chief.”

Notes:

Things that I never thought I would write in a Halo fic: multiple cat puns, shirtless!John, "fingers grazed against his abs", "you're usually on top", and John, you know, actually smiling more than once.

Love you all <3