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When team Minato came back from the Kanabi Bridge mission, the Uchihas were in a big chaos. A boy from their clan was declared KIA and his teammate's eye socket was filled with a Sharingan, their clan's sacred dojutsu.
Minato tried to explain the condition diplomatically, except they are too furious to listen to him. He killed him, Kakashi killed Obito, they said with malice on their tone. Even Rin's statements and cries did not help them to understand the situation. The Third Hokage himself had to take part in handling this case. They agreed to meet at Uchiha Compound, two days later, precisely at 9 PM. Between The Uchihas and Team Minato, with the elders as the mediator.
That day was even more chaotic. Being in the middle of mediation with him as the problem is not a pleasant experience. Minato gripped his shoulder too tight, kept him close (too much for Kakashi's liking but he couldn't protest, he won't) and defended him.
The Uchihas on the other hand, looked like they wanted to rip Obito's eye from his socket right from the start, as soon as possible. They felt like they had the right to be mad towards him. Ignoring the fact that they casted Obito away and called him a black sheep all his life.
Ironic. Hey, Obito, look. Your clan finally defending youㅡ your eyes, to be precise.
Kakashi couldn't stop shuddering as shouts after shouts are being thrown at him. Rin was too scared to continue staying in her place, her once determined eyes were filled with tears ready to fall to her cheeks. An ANBU finally took pity and escorted her home, but not before she grabbed his hand to show her support. It didn’t help much, but Kakashi is still grateful for it.
It was a long day when it ended. Fugaku, as the clan head, gave his final decision. Kakashi hasn't even spoken up but he thinks it's for the best. He has a feeling if he opens his mouth, they will point their swords at him.
Because Fugaku just said, "let him keep it."
The Uchiha lady, Uchiha Mikoto, asked to have a chat with him a few days later, when he and his team trained in one of the training grounds.
Minato still seems to be wary of leaving him alone with an Uchiha, even if it's his girlfriend's best friend. However, when she said it won't take long and that she was just going to spare some important bits about his new eye, Minato finally nodded. He told Kakashi to go with her while he trained Rin further. Kakashi had a feeling that they'll spy on them instead but nodded anyway.
They didn't go too far, just a little inside the forest of the training ground. Mikoto probably already knew how much a mother-hen Minato was, so she didn't want him to be worried.
Kakashi finally noticed she brought a book with her. Not too big, not too small, not too thick, not too thin ; just normal, like the books that Obito kept using to draw instead of writing materials from their class. Kakashi didn't dare to assume that it was a book about how Sharingan works. Hell, even if it’s the kind Mikoto-san. As an arrogant clan, they were too kind to let their Sharingan goes to a non member already, much more to taught them how to use it.
Mikoto smiled at him. "It's okay, Kakashi-kun . I'm not here to harm you or the Sharingan." She said soothingly.
However, Kakashi didn’t think that it was the case, because if they want, he can rip it out right now.
He still feels too wrong. He doesn't deserve this eye. Obito deserves to live instead of him.
"But, it does have something to do with your eye," She followed as she sat on the ground. Her hand gestured to him to mirror her actions, in which he did without so much fuss.
Kakashi observed as she opened the book at some page in the middle. Kakashi noted the amount of names with the surname Uchiha being written on it. He didn’t pay much attention, nevertheless as he didn’t recognize the names. It’s not unusual though, considering that Uchiha is a huge family with several branches of generations on its insides.
Mikoto looked at him warily. "There's an issue with you having the Sharingan, Kakashi-kun." Of course, there is . "Not only about the ownership, that non Uchiha didn't have the right to have those eyes."
Kakashi furrowed his forehead. It was the first time for him to hear such a thing. Not this problem? There's more?
"But the relationship that affected the person that actually owns the Sharingan and the other who is being given the Sharingan."
Kakashi blinked.
Once, twice.
"Uh, what does that mean?" Kakashi finally asked. Confusion can be heard clearly from his voice.
"There are few cases where someone gives their Sharingan to others, you know?" She said instead. She pulled a box of stationary to her side and took out an ink bottle. She poured a tiny amount of ink on a pot and dipped a brush on it while Kakashi examined her movements cautiously.
Kakashi shook his head. "No, I don't." He said truthfully. Even if it did happen, Kakashi doubts that the Uchiha would let the news out of their compound.
"Yes, because," She pointed at the Uchiha’s names on the book. "The one who received it is usually an Uchiha too, either a brother, sister, or even cousin."
Relationship. Uchiha is a very big family, bigger than the Senju, the biggest in Konoha. They're consisted of main family and branch familyㅡyet not as old minded as the Hyuugas. They're all bounded as cousins and distant cousins, not to mention those who has the honor to be the clan’s honorary members. Relationship meant family for them.
Kakashi suddenly had the urge to run away. "So I'm the only one who is not an Uchiha?"
Surprisingly, Mikoto shook her head. "You're the second outsider that has ever received a Sharingan."
"It's a long time ago, an old story. There's a man named Uchiha Reiji, who falls in love with a blind woman named Maki. Maki always wanted to see the world. So, Reiji decided to help her."
It's kinda nice story, but was it really needed to be this sappy?
"He told her that he will give her one of his eye. Reiji never gave up telling Maki that he was fine with it, so Maki agreed. The operation went well, both have an eye on each. Of course without the family members knowing. The elders who finally found out about this didn't approve Reiji's decision. They were adamant to make Maki returns his eye, since she was not an Uchiha."
Of course, the Uchiha elders is still an ass, why was he even surprised.
"Eventually, the current clan head has another opinion. Maki was free to keep the eye, but in one condition. She had to be an Uchiha. So, he married her."
Kakashi knew he was a prodigy for a reason. Now, he wished that he didn't, because he kind of knew where this was going. He grimaced, please don't let it be what I think.
"So, I talked to my husband." Mikoto said, "This is the only way to make you a family."
Oh, fuck.
He's a widower.
He's not even married yet but somehow he is. He stared at his name that was written neatly on the page. It was beside Obito's, just like how the other Sharingan receivers, Uchiha filled names, were. It was odd to see a Hatake below all those Uchiha.
What will Minato-sensei say about this, what will Rin say about this, hell, what will his Dad say about this!
Fuck, guess Obito said all those things about him have been reading and learning about the Sharingan so much was a lie.
Heck, they didn't even exchange a ring, but they do exchanged an eye. One eye for saving Obito and one eye for Kakashi to keep. However, Kakashi was very sure, Obito didn't mention something like will you marry me sentence somewhere when he’s dying below that big rock.
Fucking trip on your way to heaven, you dick, Kakashi prayed.
When Minato asked, he did not tell him the truth. It was embarrassing, even just to think about it. Kakashi was just thankful Minato didn’t question further (maybe that had something to do with his warm face).
When he saw the blue lightning drove onto Rin's chest, he broke.
Obito told him to see the future for him, but more importantly, he also told him to keep Rin safe. Kakashi listened to him, he acknowledged Obito’s will and made a promise to do so.
He failed, in both.
He breaks.
Minato and Kushina died, he broke again.
What's one more? After all, he was always being left alone, no need to dwell on a new funeral even if it’s your pseudo-adoptive parents. ANBU did a good job to let him see deaths almost everyday. He can get through this.
The one that Kakashi didn’t brush away was the fact that they died together, protecting their child, protecting Naruto. With a smile on their face, he saw Kushina glanced at Minato's face once more before her body sagged on Minato's hold. He saw Minato tighten his grips at Kushina's limp body before finally let out his last breath.
The Sharingan spinned weakly, he got through.
She wailed, loud, sad, and heart wrenching.
One of Kakashi's subordinates was unable to save the husband on time. A poisoned kunai stabbed him right on the chest while Rat slashed the enemy's throat. Disappointing, but what has been done couldn't be turned back on.
ANBU was never meant to save people, anyway, they kill people. They're not hired to guard, they're hired to hunt. It was not their mission to keep the man alive, their mission was to eliminate the threat that was targeting the wife.
He died saving his precious person.
Kakashi was the first to get out of the room.
Itachi, oh Itachi.
Was once a good, kind, and cute kid. Full of curiosity, never a day passed where he didn’t want to know how the world works. He was very mature for a kid his age to know that life is not all about summer festivals and playing ninjas, as a shinobi should. He was too curious, knew too much, too mature, maybe.
Was he care too much?
The Uchiha, oh Uchiha.
Kakashi wasn't sure if it was care, or pity, or simply just empathy. He didn’t love them, nor did he hate them. All that running on his head was do they deserve this ?
He remembered once again. He was unofficially married to an Uchiha. He was an Uchiha.
They were family.
There was an escort mission from the Land of Tea to the Land of Hot Spring. Those who hired Konoha's nin were a newly married couple. He could see Naruto looking amazed with the bride's beauty and probably having a crush on her. Sakura, on the other hand, was already hallucinating something that Kakashi felt close to his obsession with Sasuke. Sasuke himself looked unbothered but stayed focused on his mission.
Kakashi glanced at the pair who are talking with Naruto. They both look so happy, as how a newly married should be. Looking at each other with loving eyes, holding hands, and stealing kisses when they thought the ninjas didn't notice. Or were they just didn't care? He always heard that when you fall in love, the world means nothing to you.
He glanced away.
Sasuke, he knew the kid would break one day. He did his best at encouraging the boy to walk to the other path. But he was never a motivator, never good with words, that he ended up doing nothing to stir the boy from his raging mind.
All he could do was make a promise to his little pinky girl that they'll be okay and ran to his boys as fast as he could.
But, Sasuke was already gone. Another family that he failed, even if the said family didn’t know about the relationship.
He picked Naruto up and brought him back home.
Asuma and Kurenai were made for each other since the day they met. It was always hard to see one without the other. So, Kakashi wasn't really surprised they were finally being caught for having a relationship.
"So, who's single here! I kind of want a romance novel for myself too!" Anko yelled. Some shinobi quickly turned their faces away, having no intention to be seen by the snake lady. It does that thing when you're a sadistic tokubetsu jonin who openly loves torturing people.
"I do believe Kakashi is still single." Genma, of course, tried to drop a bait without a pause. He smirked behind his glass, looked at Kakashi with a smug face.
Two can play the game, he thought. "Mmhm? Do I? Wouldn’t say anything about that." Kakashi shrugged.
Genma spat out his drink. Anko's jaw looked like it'll drop to the floor. The others glanced at him like he just grew another head from his shoulder.
"You're in a relationship?!"
"You lied!"
"There's no fucking way!"
Kakashi wondered how big the chaos would be if he told them that he's a widower.
That orange swirl masked guy was dangerous. Kakashi kept chasing him. It might be the adventure he seeks after years leaving the ANBU, the adrenaline he supposes. He's a shinobi, that's just it. Nothing more made him curious about one of the remaining members of Akatsuki.
He called himself Uchiha Madara, pretty lunatic, Kakashi wondered. Uchihas are dead, except for Sasuke. Madara was dead.
Yep, that Tobi guy is crazy.
This is crazy.
The orange swirled mask guy, who then changed it to a white mask with some circle shapes and three shapes that suspiciously looks like three tomoe, who introduced himself as Uchiha Madara, is in fact very strong .
Kakashi could count how many enemies he has ever fought and they are no joke, but this, this is even beyond him. How the fuck they couldn’t even touch that Uchiha Madara was beyond him. It was not just Naruto’s frustration that he could feel, but the entire platoon even.
The only thing he could compare with that power was Kamui. Hisㅡ Obito's sharingan's jutsu .
What the fuck.
What in the God’s name fuck is this.
What the fuck did Uchiha Obito and Uchiha Madara doing standing above them.
This is insane, oh my, he’s finally entering his sanity limit wasn’t he. Does he, somehow, get hit by a hallucination jutsu during a battle? Is he conscious? Heck, is he even alive?
Apparently, he did, alive, because Naruto was still throwing his usual to-be-Hokage speech aka Talk no Jutsu that was perfectly functional into slapping him back to the living world.
There's a war in front of you for crying out loud, Kakashi, he reminded himself. But, but ...
"What the fuck, Obito?!" He yelled, much too his annoyance, he sounds a little bit hoarse.
Obito was looking down at him, not interested. Oh boy, how could he. Kakashi should be the one to do that, for fuck sake!
The black haired man grunted. "What's wrong, Kakashi? Couldn't accept the truth?" He yelled back arrogantly.
"Not that, you idiot!" He saw Obito's frowned forehead. Good, he should feel confused. He deserved that. "What are you doing there, being all villain and arrogant, husband?"
Some choking sounds were heard. Naruto turned his head so fast that Kakashi feared it'll somehow roll from his neck. Gai on his left wasn’t doing good either, his jaw hanging and he even yelled the word of 'husband' louder than him.
Obito's cold facadé dropped as he ungraciously tripped and almost fell from the high cliff he was standing on. It was unfortunate that he could catch himself. Also, he was sure he heard someone who sounded like Genma from afar let out a laugh.
"What the fuck did you said, Kakashi!" Obito screeched. "What do you mean by husband! Are you sick?!"
"Turned out you didn't really read that Sharingan book, did you!" Kakashi hollered back at him. "Your clan’s head wife came to me after the Uchiha gave up from slashing my head and announced that I am your husband."
"MIKOTO-SAN DOES WHAT?!"
"She said that we are unofficially married, you dumbass! Is that too hard for you to catch dead last?" Obito spluttered some words about him not being a dead last and kicked someone's ass when they're still genin. "And I was a widower because you're supposed to be dead!"
"You what?!"
"Thanks to you, I couldn't even answer when someone asked if I was single or not!" Well, he usually just threw some lies and walked away because he's not really interested in relationships, but that's the same thing and Obito didn’t have to know that. "This is so confusing for me, husband!"
"GAH, DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Obito whined. He pointed Madara's gunbai at him. "You lied!"
"Hey, old man!" He turned to Madara who suspiciously remained silent the entire time. "You don't happen to know about Uchiha Reiji and Maki, don't you?"
Madara froze, his eyes won't look at anyone’s eyes and he whistled some random unknown melodies.
Kakashi blinked.
Oh, oh.
"You're the one who made them married, didn't you?" Kakashi groaned. Madara whistled even louder. "You're the one who made the rule that one should marry others if they received a sharingan!”
"I don't know what you are talking about." Madara continued to whistle, completely trying to ignore him.
"What the fuck, Madara! You did what?!" Obito looked like someone just poured an entire cold river on top of his head. "Didㅡdid you, without our consent, make us married?!"
"Brat, what am I supposed to do back then! Everyone is trying to hunt Maki's head for the sharingan! I had to make her an Uchiha! I can't see the future!" Madara finally broke and yelled back. "And no! I don't have a hand in this situation! This is an accident!"
Kakashi gasped. "How could you call our marriage as an accident!"
"OI! SHUT UP BAKAKASHI!" The gunbai was useful to hide Obito’s reddening face as he pointed at Madara angrily. "The fuck you never told me about this!"
"What should I tell you? That you're married to your rival who you saved and gave eye to? How awkward does that sound! Think!"
Obito gritted his teeth. "You!" He yelled at Kakashi. "You still can't prove if this is real or not! You could be lying!"
"How could I prove this shit, you smartass!" Kakashi grunted. "Uchihas are dead. Rin is dead. Minato-sensei is dead. It was an unofficial marriage that I didn’t want to take part in and I am an unofficial widower! I am the one at the disadvantage here!"
For a second, he thought he feels something familiar. A familiar chakra. A once bright sun chakra that he knew very well to whom it belongs to.
A strange shaped kunai dropped in front of Naruto and a flash yellow followed the suit.
"Did I came late?" That soft voice he knew that was once gone, gone, gone, gone, died, filled his ears.
"Perfect in time." Kakashi approved. "There! Minato- sensei could be the proof."
Minato blinked. "Uh, what."
Sasuke had just stepped his foot on the war ground when The Fourth went with his once teacher. Or to be precise, being dragged by the silver haired man towards both Uchiha that are still arguing on top of the cliff. Weird.
"Sasuke!"
"Sasuke-kun!"
He turned back, stared at Naruto and Sakura who ran towards him as fast as they can. They stopped in front of him with heavy breaths and sweats.
"I thought there was a war." He said.
Naruto looked offended that it was his first sentence after meeting them but he couldn't bring himself to care. He really thought there was a war but everyone seemed to be very quiet (except for some Konoha jounin that formed a big circle and did they gossip?) and the only loud voices were coming from the top of the cliff, filled with Uchiha Obito, Uchiha Madara, his teacher Kakashi, and The Fourth.
What happen?
"Uh, yes, about that..." Sakura grinned. He saw a mischievous smile on her face. "Do you know that Kakashi-sensei is a widower!"
What.
"What."
"Yeah, he suddenly starts saying something about being married with that Obito jerk and they were husbands!" Naruto frowned, eyes locked at the cliff. "Crazy right?"
What.
"Please tell me this is a Tsukuyomi."
Konoha is insane.
They did produce some of the most skilled ninjas ever known, you name it. The Shinobi's God? He built Konoha. The Senju Demon? Shinobi's God's brother. White Fang? Konoha owned him. The Sannin? Konoha trained them. The Yellow Flash? Konoha made him Hokage.
Apparently, their shinobis are insane too.
Uchiha Itachi? Killed his own clan. Orochimaru? Grabbing children here and there. Danzo? Stole Sharingan. Uchiha Sasuke? Demanding revenges.
But, maybe, the Copy-nin is the highest level of Konoha's insane .
He just announced to the entire Shinobi in the battlefield that he's unofficially married to their very own biggest threat, the one they should kill to achieve victory in this war.
"Told you he is married! I win this bet!"
"This can hardly be called as a marriage! He was not present in the picture for more than twenty years!"
"How could we know he is married in the first place!"
"Hey! I, too, called a win because I said he's definitely not single!"
"Invalid opinion!"
"Is there someone who bet that he was a widower?"
"Don't know! Probably no one!"
"Uh, guys... One does." Someone gulps. 'Hokage- sama guessed it right..."
Silence.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
"THE HOKAGE? OUR GAMBLING LOSER HOKAGE?"
"This must be the end of the world."
"There's no such thing as Tsunade-sama winning a bet!"
Yep. Konoha is insane. The highest level of insanity, this is not an insult. This is a fact.
OMAKE
"What." Sasuke with his usual stoic deadpan face stood in the center of Hokage's office with a face filled with disgust.
Kakashi lifted his eyes and let out an " oh " sound when he spotted him. Though he didn't stop his scribble, suspiciously on a paper with a clan emblem he doesn't recognize and the one that he knew by heart in one glance. "Oh, yes, Sasuke. Sorry to call you so suddenly but we need your approval in this situation."
"What."
"Well, you see. It's kind of very old minded, but we don't want to somehow upset the spirits. So, since you're the current clan head, I had to ask you this." Kakashi lifted the paper to Sasuke. "We will need your approval."
Sasuke made no motion to grab the paper nor did he walk closer. "What."
"We'll get married, you foolish little Uchiha," The man behind Kakashi, who’s lap Kakashi currently sat comfortably on, grunted.
"Sshh, Obito! Don't upset your clan head." Obito rolled his eyes, instead putting his hands firmly on Kakashi's waist and dropped his head on the younger man's shoulder. "Well, yes, you heard him, Sasuke."
"What," Sasuke sighed. "make you think I care about this."
Kakashi blinked. "Madara said before he gone that we should ask for the clan head's approval."
Sasuke stared at him with a blank face.
"I'm leaving. Don't ever call me back again before you retire."
"Is that aㅡ" Sasuke is gone with a slight shushin sound using his rinnegan. "ㅡno, I haven't even finish my question yet!"
"Show off." Obito mumbled. "I can do that too."
"You definitely can. Since you're sharing the same kind of eye as him," Kakashi just shook his head in amusement. "doesn't mean I want you to disappear too."
He sensed Obito's wide smirk behind his neck. "That's not the only thing you want right?”
“Right.” Kakashi smiled. “I also want you to examine this transaction agreement between Konoha and Kumo to see if there’s anything out of place from the original treaty. It’s two hundred pages, by the way.”
Kakashi disappeared from his lap and now a huge chunk of papers was placed in front of him. “Since you’re experienced in making agreements and I have worked hard to convince Tsunade-sama to let you out of prison, not only because it won't hold you in, but by telling her that you got some useful politic brain in your head, I will need your help with that. It needs to be finished at 3. Now chop chop, we don't have much time because tomorrow we should leave to Suna again."
Obito groaned. He hated his dream job.