Work Text:
“Help me make a YouTube video,” Meg declared.
Apollo raised an eyebrow. “What’s in it for me?”
She tapped her chin. “Um. It will be fun?”
Apollo thought on it, and grinned. “Okay. Why not?”
“‘Lesterlicious’?” Apollo creased his brow. “That’s so—that’s so lame.”
Meg stuck her tongue out. “Too bad, so sad,” she sing-songed.
“Meeeeg,” Apollo whined.
“I won the bet, shut up.”
Lesterlicious ✓
424K subscribers
VIDEOS
Sally Jackson Deserves Immortal Fame | 1.6M views • 3 days ago
How Not To Garden | 411K views • 1 week ago
Ranking the Greek Gods and Goddesses | 1.4M views • 2 weeks ago
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ABOUT
Description:
I’m your host, Lester
and she’s your other host, Meg.
Welcome to the show
Stats:
Joined May 19, 2014 | 3,677,263,793 views
Location:
Palm Springs, CA
Links:
Twitter (@lesterlicious)
Ranking the Greek Gods and Goddesses
1,422,519 views • June 2, 2014
“—now, Athena, she can be really touchy sometimes. Pro tip: never get her started on a debate about what words shouldn’t be allowed on Scrabble, because she has opinions. But it could be worse, I guess, so I’ll put her around… here.”
Lester nodded to himself and dragged an image of a sculpture of Athena to A - YOU’RE GOOD I GUESS.
“—no, Meg, she deserves to be at tier D. D for Demeter—”
“—I told you, it’s fine—”
“—D for deadbeat mom—”
“—Lester—”
“—D for, I don’t know, disappointment—”
Meg grabbed the mouse from him and dragged the image of Apollo to C - DOES NOT PASS THE VIBE CHECK.
“Oh, Britomartis. She’s not bad.”
“The net lady?”
“Yes, Meg.”
“The one with the griffins?”
“Yes.”
“...put her in tier A.”
Lester pursed his lips, and dragged Ares to C - DOES NOT PASS THE VIBE CHECK .
“If we had been making this tier list like, two years ago, Hera would be an automatic D, but…”
“But?” Meg was spinning around in her swivel chair.
“She’s… oddly nice, now. It’s weird. Do you know how weird that is, Meg? Hera? Nice? I don’t know how to act around her anymore!”
“Gods are stupid. Just put her at B, or something.”
Lester sighed and put Hera at B - YOU’RE OKAY BUT YOU COULD BE BETTER.
“Wait, I almost forgot to drag me to tier S.”
He moved Apollo from tier C to S and flashed a smirk at Meg, who rolled her eyes and threw a piece of popcorn at him.
“She’s cool,” Meg said. “Put her at S. Or higher. She’s cooler than you.”
Lester clutched his chest. “Dear Meg, you did not.”
Meg grinned. “You know it’s true.”
Lester looked at the camera in mock anguish, and said, “Et tu, Brute?” while Meg grabbed the mouse and put Artemis at S - GOD TIER, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.
“We’re not ranking all the minor gods, right? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure if we included all the minor ones it’d take foreverrrr.”
“Oh, no. I only listed the Olympians and the Greek minor gods we actually met.”
“Greek minor gods?” Meg frowned into her popcorn. “What about Harpy-whatever-his-name-was?”
Lester laughed nervously. “Haha, who? I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
“Persephone’s eh, I guess, but she has really horrible table manners, so she’s going to tier B.” Lester winced. “Gods, watching her demolish beef is truly terrifying.”
Meg munched loudly on popcorn. “What about me?”
“Oh—no, sorry, I didn’t mean you, dear Meg.”
She pouted. “So I’m not terrifying?”
“Next we have—oh, Zeus. Okay.”
He promptly dragged Zeus to the lowest tier and renamed it D - ZEUS.
Meg nodded energetically. “Yes.”
Lester paused and looked up at the ceiling. “Also for legal reasons this is a joke.”
“Don’t you think they’ll figure out who you are?” Luguselwa asked, after watching the video.
Apollo and Meg looked at each other.
“Nah,” they chorused.
Comments 3.3K
Lesterlicious ✓ • 2 weeks ago
No we are not taking constructive criticism
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waffles • 1 week ago (edited)
8:22 I can’t breathe he really just put Zeus in the lowest tier like that
Edit: Thanks for the likes <3
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Will Sol • 2 weeks ago
hi dad
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 2 weeks ago
Hi Will how’s camp
Will Sol • 2 weeks ago
it’s good. when will u visit again
Lesterlicious ✓ • 2 weeks ago
Maybe next weekend, I’ll bring Meg :)
Egg Fly • 1 week ago
LESTER HAS A KID????
Artemis • 1 week ago (edited)
Wow I can’t believe he tried to put me below S
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 week ago
ARTY???? Sis?? Hi? Also you’re paying next Friday
Artemis • 1 week ago
Who tf is Arty 😭 Sir I am only a humble fan of greek mythology
Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 week ago
Oh. Nevermind. please go on and enjoy the rest of your day
yazz_ • 1 week ago
This dude is straight up LARPing as the god Apollo or something
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Aster @Aste_RITZ
😭😭😭
[ Ranking the Greek Gods and Goddesses - Lesterlicious ]
06:19 PM • June 10, 2014 • Twitter for Android
1,030 Retweets 493 Quote Tweets 3,205 Likes
poppy @apopcornkernel
zeus went straight to the bottom i know that’s right!
r 🍄 @tearex
not him implying he’s apollo asfslkf;d. is he… yknow… a god? /j
Rachel Dare ✓ @REDare
/j, you say. unless…?
r 🍄 @tearex
wait what
r 🍄 @tearex
RACHEL?
r 🍄 @tearex
mAam. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???????????
How Not To Garden
411,625 views • June 11, 2014
“I don’t want to get my hands dirty…”
“You can literally just use gloves, dummy.”
Lester snapped his fingers, and suddenly he was wearing gloves. “Oh, right. I keep forgetting I can do that.”
“You’re literally Apollo! How are you so bad at this?”
Lester groaned. “Look, I have experience turning my lovers into plants. Hyacinthus, well,” Lester said, tearing up visibly, “he did make a lovely flower, but if I’m being honest I don’t know how to garden the mortal way.”
Meg paused. “...should we edit that out?”
They looked at each other.
“Eh,” Lester said. “They’ve pegged me as a, what do the kids call it, kinnie? Apollo kinnie? Yeah, that. It’s not like they’ll think I’m actually a god.”
“PEACHES!”
A diapered fruit baby leapt at Meg, and she beamed. Like it was something to be happy about. Like it was normal. “Hey, Peaches!”
Lester poked glumly at the soil. “Hello, Peaches.” He didn’t even look up.
“—no. No. That’s it.” Meg hauled Lester up and away from the plants that now lay sad and limp. “I give up. How did you even do that, stupid?”
Lester hung his head.
“The plants,” Meg stressed, “the plants are suffering. Never again.”
Lester let out a long sigh. “Now you know how I feel during your piano lessons.”
Comments 1.4K
Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 week ago
lester is stupid
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Shrimp Fried Rice • 1 week ago
HI MEG
subitaneous • 1 week ago
Omg hi Meg!!
Mae Showers • 1 week ago
megggg <3
xno1papayahaterx • 1 week ago (edited)
5:48 HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE APOLLO KINNIE THING I DID NOT EXPECT THOSE WORDS TO COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. Lester. Lester look at me lester where did you read that. WHERE.
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valeria g • 4 days ago
Ok but are we going to talk about the gloves literally appearing out of thin air or
edit: 2:11 this is either some insanely good editing or magic is real. Pls let it be the 2nd
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 3 days ago
well magic isn’t real so too bad for you
Lesterlicious ✓ • 3 days ago
What Meg means is that we have a very, very good editor.
Silence, foul creature • 1 week ago
WHERE DID THE PEACH DEMON COME FROM AND WHERE CAN I GET ONE
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 6 days ago
peaches isn’t for sale!!! peaches is my friend >:(
stuck in the plinko horse machine • 1 week ago (edited)
5:45 diversity win! the youtuber who is either larping as a god or really is a god is gay!
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Lesterlicious ✓ @lesterlicious
02:28 PM • June 11, 2014 • Twitter for ???
9,869 Retweets 4,893 Quote Tweets 32.5K Likes
“Hey, Lester.”
Apollo was dozing, stretched out on the floor and lying in a beam of sunlight like a cat.
“Lester. Apollo. Heyyyyy.”
He groaned. “Wha’,” he mumbled.
“Wake up, lazy.”
Apollo scowled and flopped over to stare up at the ceiling, putting his arms behind his head. “Dear Meg, I love you, but my beauty sleep is of the utmost importance.”
“You’re a god, stupid. You don’t need beauty sleep.”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty enough without it?”
“Shut up,” Meg said, but she was smiling. “I want to do a, a vlog thing. And also I want Mrs Jackson’s cookies. Do you think she’d mind if we dropped by?”
Apollo perked up. “Gods, seven-layer dip! Yes, let’s—wait, I think the polite thing to do is ask.”
“You do it. You’re the goddy one.”
“But she likes you better.”
“But you’re an actual god.”
“But…”
Meg summoned up her best impression of puppy eyes. “Pleaseeeee.”
“No—” Apollo cursed when she pouted even harder. “No, stop, alright! Fine! I’ll do it.”
The pout fell away immediately and Meg beamed, pumping a victorious fist in the air.
Sally Jackson Deserves Immortal Fame
1,625,028 views • June 20, 2014
“Meg! You’ve grown so much,” Sally cooed. “And Apollo—”
“Lester,” Lester said.
“Lester,” Sally amended. “You’re looking much better now!”
“Thank you,” Lester said, looking touched.
“You two wanted to film a vlog, yes?”
“Lester just wanted an excuse to try your seven-layer dip again,” Meg chirped.
“Shut up,” Lester hissed. Meg giggled.
Sally’s eyes twinkled. “Oh? If that’s the case, Lester can help me make some.”
“Apollo—I mean, Lester, that’s not how you—”
Lester backed away from the chopping board, hands raised. “Um.”
Sally stared at the mangled remains of bell pepper.
“My apologies,” Lester said meekly.
“I thought you were a god,” Sally said.
“Yes, but, well, I was trying to do it without divine help, and uh…”
Sally sighed. “Oh, give it here.”
Lester winced and did as she said. “I’m. I think I’ll just. Go over there and watch how you do it.”
“You do that,” Sally said distractedly, already focused on her chopping.
Behind the camera, Meg snickered.
“Do you wish to be a goddess? Because I can make you one if you want,” Lester said very seriously.
Sally laughed and waved her hand at Lester. “Oh, that’s very kind, but you don’t have to. Just don’t get Percy caught up in any more prophecies, if you could?”
Lester nodded fervently. “Anything for you, madam.” He took another bite and closed his eyes, looking as if he’d seen Elysium.
In the distance, keys jangled, and the door opened. A teenager stepped into the apartment.
“I’m home,” Percy Jackson said, and then he caught sight of Lester and stopped short in his tracks.
Lester gave an awkward wave.
“You,” Percy said flatly.
“Me,” Lester said, smiling nervously.
“And me,” Meg said, sounding like she was swallowing laughter.
Percy narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing in my house.”
It was at this time that Sally walked out of the kitchen. “Lester, would you mind—” She paused. “Oh. Percy. How was school?”
“Mom?” The look on Percy’s face was incredulous. “What—I don’t understand. What is he doing here?”
“They’re here for a vlog,” Sally said.
“A vlog? You? You vlog?”
Lester sniffed. “It was Meg’s idea.”
“You agreed!” Meg shot back.
“I agreed, but it was still your idea, there’s a difference, Meg—”
“No,” Percy said blankly. “You know what, I’m not even going to—I’m just going to go now. I’ll be in my room, Mom. Bye.”
Percy spun on his heel and walked back out.
“Well, that was awkward.”
Meg cackled. “That was hilarious,” she said gleefully. “Oh, that is definitely going to be in the final video.”
Comments 5.4K
Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 day ago
So anyways, I would die for Sally Jackson’s seven layer dip.
Unrelated but we recently hit 777k subscribers so Meg and I will be filming a video where we answer your questions :) You can comment with any questions you have for us
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Star_madilo • 1 day ago
HOW DO THEY KNOW PERCY JACKSON????
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suns • 1 day ago
sally can you be my new mom
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Chronictheorizing • 1 day ago (edited)
I can practically smell the food through the screen… Mrs Jackson what do I have to do to try your food…
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ashes2ashes • 1 day ago
meg is so underrated lmao i love how she’s just making fun of lester
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SlyFox • 1 day ago
5:42 Lester and percy: spiderman pointing meme
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Ferodactyl • 1 day ago
lester knows percy jackson? The guy with a buzzfeed unsolved episode???
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Stretlizia 🌸 • 1 day ago
From cooking to gardening to rating greek stuff to cooking again. This channel is so random and I love it
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Mi_a • 1 day ago
I know all the comments are freaking out about Percy jackson but can we just take a moment to appreciate how nice Sally is
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Ratatat • 1 day ago
A literal queen
breadsticks purse • 1 day ago
sally for president
local ladrien stan • 1 day ago
SHE IS THE MOMENT!!
Lesterlicious ✓ @lesterlicious
We recently hit 777k subscribers so Meg and I decided to do a video where we answer your questions. Just reply with what you want to ask us :)
02:28 PM • June 24, 2014 • Twitter for ???
11,869 Retweets 1,093 Quote Tweets 42.5K Likes
sim1 @asterflowers_
THIS IS OUR CHANCE GUYS QUICK SOMEONE GET THE LIST
diya <3 @diyaa_
is your name really lester??
Emperor Nyan @NyanInMySleep
How do you and Meg know each other?
Hollis ;0 @ace_oct
HOW DID YOU END UP FRIENDS (?) WITH ALLEGED TEENAGE TERRORIST PERCY JACKSON
777K Subscribers Q&A (feat. Lu as the asker or question reader or whatever)
411,625 views • June 26, 2014
“Is your real name Lester or Apollo?”
“Both…? Either is fine, but Meg is used to calling me Lester so that’s what you would hear more often.”
“Why isn’t Meg in the name of the channel even though she’s always in your videos?”
“Hey, they’re my videos! The only reason it’s named after Lester was because I didn’t want to have my name there in case it failed.”
Lester shot her a look of betrayal. “Excuse me? You think a video with me in it would fail?”
“Camp orientation video,” Meg said loftily, as if that answered everything.
Lester spluttered. “That—that—that was art! But of course, you’re young. I don’t expect you to understand.” He sniffed haughtily. “Kids these days.”
“Is this some sort of schtick, or roleplay? Do you truly believe you are the god Apollo?”
Meg giggled. “Do you?”
“No comment,” Lester grumbled.
“How do you and Meg know each other?”
They traded amused smiles.
“Well, I crash-landed in a Dumpster—”
“—and I saved his butt from some thugs—”
“—and then she became my overlord, literally—”
“—and now we’re friends. Or whatever.”
“If you’re confused, don’t be. It’s very simple. Hope that helps,” Lester said in a very unhelpful way.
“Are you dating Rachel Dare—”
Lester choked, his face pure horror. “No!”
Beside him, Meg was laughing so hard she almost fell off the couch. She wheezed, and for some reason, said, “Cradle robber,” even though Lester was likely only in his early 20s.
“No,” Lester said emphatically. “Rachel, you are an amazing Ora—amazing person, but no. No.”
“How would you explain the times when unexplainable things occur? Like — Apollo, it is not that hard to not flash gold. I don’t understand why this is even a problem for you. ”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lu.” Lester looked straight into the camera. “Mortals can’t flash gold.”
Meg nodded very seriously. “Yep. And as we all know Lester is very mortal.”
“I’m literally at death’s doorstep,” Lester said gravely. “The Fates are about to cut my life string.”
“How do you know the Jacksons, specifically Percy Jackson?”
“I’m his, uh…” Lester thought for a few seconds. “I think we’re cousins? Yeah, we’re cousins. His dad is my dad’s brother, which is unfortunate for his dad.”
“Is Percy my cousin, too?”
“Well, your mom is his dad’s sister, so yeah.”
“Wait, that means we’re also cousins.”
Meg and Lester looked at each other agape.
“I never really thought about it,” Meg finally said. “Does this mean I’m like, an aunt to your kids?”
Lester recoiled. “You know what. How about we never talk about this again.”
“The next time we visit camp, I’m going to introduce myself as Aunt Meg.”
“Meg, no.”
“Meg, yes.”
Comments 1.4K
Thanos • 1 day ago
“question and answer” but we’re only getting even more questions
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Soup • 1 day ago
I am so confused
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 day ago
good.
MMD • 1 day ago
7:03 Is. Is he implying he isn’t human
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Kira🐾 • 1 day ago
I thought we had already established that
ace_oct • 1 day ago
Are you new here
awkward potato • 1 day ago (edited)
how are they all related? edit: also lester has kids as in plural? he literally looks like he’s fresh out of high school
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Lesterlicious ✓ • 1 day ago
Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy
THE SECRETS BEHIND THE YOUTUBE CHANNEL “LESTERLICIOUS”: EDITING OR SOMETHING ELSE?
by Delia Ann | June 29, 2014
Lester and Meg, as the people behind the YouTube channel Lesterlicious are known to the world, recently had an upshot in popularity due to their humorous videos and odd asides. They frequently reference things that are impossible — the most notorious example, of course, being their breakthrough video Ranking Greek Gods and Goddesses, in which Lester implies having met mythological figures, and even claims to be Apollo. Viewers went crazy trying to figure out if they were only playing characters in some odd sort of performance art or if they truly possessed some sort of supernatural abilities, and the fuel was further fed by a tweet by Rachel Dare of the wealthy Dare family.
Furthermore, there are several instances that could have been some very convincing editing or magic, like in Lesterlicious’s very first video , in which Lester seemingly flashed gold for a split second. When asked in the comments, he claimed it was a glitch. In How Not To Garden, Lester snapped his fingers and gloves appeared, and it looks like some of Meg’s plants are growing at an unnaturally rapid rate. Once again, they only commented that they had “a very, very good editor”.
Recently, the duo posted a Q&A video in celebration of 777,000 subscribers… KEEP READING →
Delia A ✓ @DeliaAnn
hi - will be taking down yesterday’s article for personal reasons. thank you for your understanding ❤️
09:33 AM • June 30, 2014 • Twitter for iPhone
2,719 Retweets 729 Quote Tweets 6,281 Likes
would die for Peaches @peachdemonbaby
uh oh
Sierice @sierice
That’s kinda sus 🤨
Rachel Dare ✓ @REDare
LMAOOOOO @lesterlicious WHAT DID YOU DO
Lesterlicious ✓ @lesterlicious
No comment
https://screenrant.com/secrets-behind-lesterlicious-editing-or-something-else
:( This page can’t be found.
Lesterlicious ✓ @lesterlicious
thou hath girlbossed a little too close to the sun
06:19 PM • June 30, 2014 • Twitter for ???
1,770 Retweets 493 Quote Tweets 3,571 Likes
“You were right,” Apollo said, eyes—almost literally—alight with excitement. “That was fun.”
Meg sniffed. “Duh. I’m always right.”
“So,” Apollo said. “Piano lessons vlog, next?”
“What?” Meg squawked. “But I haven’t even gotten past the first half of that piano book!”
Apollo raised an eyebrow. “Admitting defeat already, Meg?”
“No!” She crossed her arms indignantly. “I’ll do it. But you owe me!”
“I’ll get you another unicorn,” Apollo offered.
Meg tilted her head, thinking. Then she stuck out her hand. “Deal.”
They shook on it.
Apollo grinned. Meg found that she was smiling, too.