Chapter Text
The events that brought Loki to Sakaar happened rapidly and involved entirely too much familial contact and near-death for his taste, but he couldn’t complain about the location. Sakaar was exactly the sort of place he could thrive in, the sort of place he could rise to the top of free of the burdens of Asgardian scruples. He suspected Hela might have killed Thor, which would have saddened him a great deal more if he’d let himself actually think about it, but he threw himself into moving up in Sakaar instead. No use crying over spilled wine and all that. Never mind that Odin had called he and Thor 'my sons' as though they were equally so, and that it had...affected him more than he cared to admit.
But then he’d heard Thor’s voice, and found his brother alive and in one of the Grandmaster’s unpleasant chairs. Loki was relieved that he was alive, although Thor probably hadn't thought so given Loki had declined to help him out of the chair. That being said, initially, Loki was less than thrilled to see Thor in Sakaar. He wasn't sure what kind of reception he could expect from Thor, and what Thor would want to do to Loki given all that had occurred.
Loki had mulled over his options, decided he had better help his big brother, and then realized he might even have a golden opportunity at hand. He could use assistance in taking over Sakaar, and Thor was certainly useful in that department. And the idea of working with his brother towards such a goal, ruling over a place like Sakaar together afterwards...it had appeal. Perhaps now that Thor had been given a taste of lying, familial drama, he’d be more amenable to Loki’s way of thinking. Thor wasn't Odin's firstborn, this 'Hela' was, and technically the throne should have gone to her. Instead she'd been locked away and Odin's death had released her, and given the fact she'd crushed Mjolnir with her bare hand and demanded that they kneel...he figured he could already see why.
Thor quickly disabused him of that notion by hurling debris at his illusion, barely speaking, and then chastising him for past offenses. Loki was more hurt than he let on to be ‘rejected’, and more worried than he wanted to let himself be. It was one thing to accept that Thor had probably been killed by Hela. It was quite another to have Thor alive, somewhat in his grasp, and see that his brother was chomping at the bit to go run off and have another crack at her [and his almost certain death] rather than help Loki. So he’d snapped at Thor in anger and snarked at him about having put a bet on his arena opponent. Loki had thought that Thor, sentimental as he always was, would have also realized that they were more or less all they had left. He had thought the oaf would insist they stuck together, or at least give him some kind of lecture about what Loki had been up to...anything, really. But instead, he'd had to demand 'say something' twice just to get Thor to speak. Indifference and apathy were anathema to Loki where Thor was concerned.
The portion of the battle where Thor had been smashed by Hulk as he had cheered Loki considerably. But the following bit of the battle had made his stomach turn, especially at the point Thor started having his face bashed in by the Hulk. Then Thor’s body had crackled with energy in a way Loki had never seen, and lightning came from his brother’s body and blasted at the Hulk into the air. Loki stared in stunned amazement as Thor’s eyes and body were illuminated with bands of lightning and he seemed about ready to tear into the Hulk, until the Grandmaster shut it all down. He had been interested to see the result of the fight, and have a better look at his brother's apparent new power, it was a disappointment all around to see it brought short. Thor had wielded lightning without Mjolnir, and more than that, he had blasted The Hulk with it...how had his brother come to have such power? Thor had seemed surprised by it as well, given the way he stared at himself before he charged. Loki watched with internal chagrin as his brother was forced to writhe on the ground from the obedience disc.
“I thought you said he was so-so as a fighter.” The Grandmaster sounded displeased as he frowned down at the arena, which did not bode well for Loki.
“He was, the…lightning power is quite new, I assure you, Grandmaster.” And it was in the way that Thor had just wielded it, at least.
“Hmm...His strength is pretty up there too…listen, he’s your adopted brother, right?”
Technically Loki was the adopted one, but whatever. “Yes.”
“Has he always been a fighter type? How was he when he was younger?”
“He was trained in combat from a young age and had reasonable strength.” Reasonable strength was maybe a bit of an understatement given that even as a child, Thor's strength had been above average.
“And no lightning?”
“No lightning in his youth.” Loki confirmed, not sure why it mattered to the Grandmaster, but also not about to ask.
“So adopted…did ya…yanno, get along? Or fight like crazy? Or-what’s the scoop?”
Loki remembered, briefly, several positive flashes of memory. Times when Thor had been almost too endearingly the ‘best big brother ever’, and doted on Loki like he hung the moon and stars. Loki had been equally enamored of his brother, he had loved to receive Thor's attention and affection. But then he remembered what he usually remembered, the brother who came later, the one who made him feel undervalued, invisible, and slighted. The brother who had just seen...their father...die and had immediately rejected Loki's offer to team up. Loki frowned as he said, almost absently. “We're practically strangers." He had even offered a bit of sympathy to Thor about finding out his status as the first born was a lie, which was more than Thor had ever offered Loki about finding out his race was a lie.
“Ooh, is he mean to my little Lolo? Doesn’t appreciate what a charming little brother he has?” The Grandmaster sounded almost sympathetic.
“He is most assuredly a brute and not appreciative in the slightest.” Loki said gruffly, before he plastered a winning smile on his face. “But I’m beyond him now, and living wonderfully here, if I might say so.” he all but cooed at the Grandmaster. He could conquer Sakaar without Thor, and in fact, when Loki took over it would be Thor under his thumb for a change. Loki wouldn't keep him imprisoned forever, of course, but he would certainly rub it in his brother's face for awhile and make him eat crow about not accepting Loki's generous offer.
The Grandmaster clucked his tongue and seemed pleased as he sat back and sipped his drink thoughtfully. “You know, I think I wanna give you a little gift, since you’ve been such good company. Gift for both of us really. What would you think about that?”
“I would be delighted to receive anything you wish to give me.” Loki said smoothly, and the Grandmaster nodded.
“That’s what I like to hear.”
-----------------------------
“So, you summon lightning with your bare hands now, brother?” Loki asked casually as he materialized an illusion into Thor’s room once he’d regained consciousness.
Thor eyed Loki from where he was laying without sitting up, though he grabbed the nearest object at hand and tossed it at Loki where it sure enough passed through him. He didn’t answer or acknowledge Loki otherwise, and Loki’s stomach clenched. Being ignored by Thor put a bad taste in his mouth, it reminded him of their later childhood when Loki felt slighted and Thor was oblivious. Not to mention, Thor was about all the family he had left in the world, and being ignored when he was trying to reach out was…again, more painful than he cared to admit. Loki would have expected Thor to be the one between them that was the most hurt and emotional, shouldn't he be glad and eager to reconcile with Loki?
“Oh, come on. Is this because they cut your hair? Listen, I offered to help-” he figured the mention of what he was sure was not the issue [but also was an issue because Thor was touchy about his hair] might get a rise out of his brother and he was relieved when that was true.
“-Offered to help yourself to conquering a planet with my strength.” Thor 'corrected'.
Loki frowned at that, he didn’t like the implication. Also, did Thor think that was the only reason he offered? “I don’t need your help, I merely offered a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“Is that what it was?” Thor asked, a bit mockingly without making eye contact as he started to sit up only to wince.
"Bit sore?" Loki taunted. "Not so fun being smashed about by The Hulk, is it?"
"What do you want, Loki?" Thor asked coolly as he rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms a bit. He felt strange and he couldn't put his finger on why, there was an aching sensation throughout his body that he felt ran deeper than being bashed about by The Hulk. Thor healed quickly from such wounds, so he didn't understand the soreness and stiffness he found increasingly present in himself.
Loki felt a flicker of pain at the dismissive question, even as he drawled. "I simply wished to reassure you that I got my money's worth from your fight."
Thor didn't reply and Loki frowned, and as Thor started to lean forward he suddenly grimaced with a hiss of pain as his hand flew to his side.
"Oh, dear, break a rib, did you?" Loki said with false sympathy, but he noted that Thor's expression seemed genuinely troubled. "Thor?"
Thor pressed on his side lightly as if testing for tenderness with a frown, and he winced the lower down he got.
Loki moved closer in concern despite himself, his brother's healing factor was high and if he was troubled by an injury, there might be something to it. “Are you alright?” Loki heard himself ask.
“Pretending to care won’t change my mind, brother.” Thor said in a tired tone, and still didn't look at Loki.
Loki felt a strangely visceral sense of relief when Thor finally called him brother again. A small lifeline that connected Loki to his brother, to his past, to his identity as a [not] Odinson. “Pretending. You’re right, why should I care about a self-centered, thick-headed oaf like-are you bleeding?” He saw Thor pull back on a part of his of clothing that was slit to reveal a little blood and a circular, partial gouge with a spot in the middle.
“Seems so.” Thor muttered distractedly as he poked at the wound to see how deep it was. When had he received such an injury? There was an odd burning around the entry point of the wound, and he felt like his thoughts were becoming increasingly muddled.
“Oh, don’t put your dirty fingers in it! You’ll give yourself an infection, fool.” Loki chided.
"You almost sound concerned." Thor muttered as he sighed. He wanted time to himself to grieve and mourn. Instead he was forced into an arena for the pleasure of some lunatic while Loki taunted him like a child instead of apparently giving any damn about their father's death. Thor supposed he shouldn't have been surprised or expected more from Loki, given the circumstances. He hadn't decided yet if he truly blamed Loki for Odin's death and Hela's rise, although Loki's interference certainly hadn't helped matters. Thor had been very glad to see Loki alive when he arrived on Sakaar, he had never seen someone ejected from the Bifrost before and he feared to lose his brother after just realizing he was back despite everything. But Loki had denied knowing him only to make a self-serving offer to help Thor so that Thor would help him, all the while leaving Asgard under thrall of the obviously dangerous Hela. Thor noted that Loki had called Hela 'our sister', which was a strangely promising development given Loki's reticence to claim himself part of their family. But it meant little when Loki only said the words and behaved like a callous stranger.
“Perish the thought.” Loki retorted, with no real venom. He took the opportunity to peer at Thor’s side. “How did you get that wound?” he was sure he hadn’t seen Thor get jabbed or even terribly cut during his fight with the Hulk.
“Not sure.” Thor sat up with another wince and Loki’s illusion hands hovered over his brother. “Actually…” he scrunched his face with an expression of trying to remember something. “Mm. After the fight…someone…” his eyes closed a minute as he tried to picture whatever he was trying to remember. “They poked me with something.” he said decidedly as he re-opened his eyes.
“They what?” Loki was familiar with the usual Grandmaster tactics by now, but he wasn’t sure what was meant by ‘poked me with something’. The Grandmaster wasn't subtle, and he hadn't heard about stabbing combatants after matches had occurred.
Thor finally met Loki’s gaze fully, to the latter's relief although there was a slightly unfocused quality to Thor's gaze. “They gave me a shot of something, I think.” And then he frowned. “Was it you that did it?”
“This may come as a surprise but I am not the root source of every bad thing in your life, brother.” Loki huffed a bit.
“Only most for the past…how many years has it been?” Thor drawled.
“Let’s not play the ‘how many years has my brother been less than kind’ game, Thor. You’ll lose.”
Thor rolled his eyes. “Of course. Because you’re the victim here.”
Irritation and a hint of bitterness flickered in Loki’s gaze. Loki was showing Thor concern and his kindness was repaid with mockery, how very typical. “Still mocking my pain, I see.”
“Am I? You refuse to talk to me about it, makes it hard to know what I’m mocking.” Thor didn't know why every conversation with Loki had to devolve into these strange little fights. He had always been willing to speak properly with Loki, but Loki made it damned hard to do so he didn't like hearing Loki's judgment over perceived slights Thor felt he instigated.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you what you should already know.” Loki said archly.
“I’m the god of thunder, brother, not of mind-reading. I cannot make amends for wrongs you keep inside your head.”
“I never said I wanted amends from you.” Loki said coolly.
“You don’t?”
“It wouldn't make a difference. We're well past all that, are we not?" Loki said the words, but he didn't exactly mean them, and perhaps wanted to hear Thor deny it was the case.
Thor scoffed as he laid back down and rubbed his temple. “You realize I’ve forgiven far worse from you than I’ve ever done to you.”
“Oh, please, do tell, Oh Mighty Thor. Let’s hear an example of your benevolence.” This ought to be good, Loki thought to himself sarcastically.
Thor considered it a moment before he said. “The Destroyer.”
“What about it?”
“You killed me with it.”
Loki made a dismissive noise at that nonsense. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. It banged you up a bit and then you got your powers back, you should be thanking me, really. ‘Killed’ you.” he scoffed.
Thor’s expression was impassive as he eyed Loki from his lying down position. “I died as a mortal, Mjolnir revived me.”
Loki stiffened as his brow furrowed slightly. He remembered everything about the incident vividly, and Thor had been empowered practically the instant the Destroyer had knocked him aside. “That’s not possible.”
Thor shrugged lightly from his position. “Believe what you want, it’s the truth regardless.”
Loki studied Thor’s face and looked for any hint of deception and found none. “That’s not possible.” he repeated, but this time, less certain and more hoping that it wasn’t true. There were pranks and mischief that he was pleased to have pulled off against his brother, and there were 'wrongs' against his brother he didn't feel particularly bad or wrong about. But he had long passed a point where he could even pretend it would please him to have been responsible for killing his own brother. Rather the opposite, and the potential realization put a sickening feeling in his stomach.
Thor was surprised to see that Loki looked taken aback by the knowledge, like he truly hadn't known, and further still wasn't glad to find out it was so. That was oddly relieving in a way, because it had been a thorn in the back of his mind that Loki had never seemed to mind the event. “Apparently it is. Funny, I figured you knew that.” Thor’s expression scrunched suddenly, and his hands clenched as his brow furrowed.
“Brother?” Loki could see something was wrong, and he couldn't do much about it as an illusion. “What is it?”
“I feel…strange.” Thor patted at his chest as if to reassure himself of something, and Loki frowned down at him from as close a position as he could take. Squabbling aside, he didn’t actually want anything bad [too bad] to happen to his big brother.
“Define strange.”
“My tongue is numb.”
Well that wasn’t good. “What else?”
“My skin is…tingling.”
“Tingling?”
Thor nodded as he rubbed at his arms as if to clear them of a physical source of the tingling. He frowned down at himself and then looked at Loki. “You really don’t know what they gave me?”
“You’re sure they gave you something?”
Thor nodded as he clenched and unclenched his hand like it was difficult to do so. "I...do not feel right."
Loki’s worry was unrestrained then as he eyed his brother carefully. “I will try to find out what then, I truly didn’t know, Thor.”
“You’re leaving?” Thor sounded strangely disappointed as blue eyes met green. Loki wasn't sure what to make of that.
“I’ll come back.” he reassured him, and found it a bit odd that he had to do so given the state of things between them.
“You never stay.” Thor muttered, a distracted look on his face as he patted at his chest again.
“I…” Never implied Thor meant more than this instance, and Loki could tell Thor wasn’t all present mentally. “Do you want me to?”
“You know I do.” Thor said plaintively, and there was a rather sad expression on his face that caught Loki off guard.
Loki leaned over so that his face was in front of Thor’s as he examined him, and noted that his brother's skin seemed sweaty and his eyes were glassy and slightly unfocused. “Since when?”
Thor looked Loki fully in the eyes as he said softly. “Always, brother.”
Loki’s mouth opened and closed in surprise, and he found he had no answer to that before Thor grimaced and curled up a little in his laying position with a hand on his stomach and a decidedly sickly pallor. “Thor? What is it?”
Thor made a moan in the back of his throat as his eyes closed and he scrunched a little further in on himself. Loki wasn't accustomed to seeing his brother look so pained and vulnerable.
Shit. “I’m going to find out what they gave you, I’ll be right back-”
“-Don’t.” Thor mumbled as his eyes cracked open a little and he breathed heavily, one of his hands slid towards Loki but fell short. “Stop leaving me, brother. Please.” The last word sounded pleading, and Loki felt his heart clench as his hands instinctively went to Thor but he couldn’t touch him as an illusion. Thor squinted at Loki with a frown, as if he was having trouble seeing his brother. "Stay with me."
“I’ll be right back.” Loki promised soothingly, surprised at how anxious he suddenly was and how guilty he felt at even being about to leave now. Thor pleading for him not to leave was unexpected and rather reinforced that something was amiss with his brother.
“Promise?” Thor asked quietly.
Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion. If he hadn’t been certain something was wrong already, he certainly was now, he couldn’t remember the last time Thor had even used the word ‘promise’, let alone tried to elicit one from him. What in the Hel had the Grandmaster given him? “I promise.” he soothed anyway, and he saw Thor exhale slowly.
“Be careful, Loki.” Thor mumbled, almost too low to hear, and Loki had the sudden, protective urge to grasp Thor, to reassure himself of his brother’s safety and keep him close. "Please." Thor sighed raggedly with another pained grimace.
“Okay, brother.” Loki agreed softly, because what else could he say, and then he dispelled the illusion as he went hunting quickly for answers. The pained, sad blue eyes were burned into his mind as was the uncharacteristic soft pleading in his brother's voice as he asked Loki to stay.
--------------------------
His hunt didn’t last long before the Grandmaster found him and insisted on the ‘pleasure of his company’ and promised a big ‘surprise’ was coming.
Loki couldn’t [literally couldn’t] refuse the Grandmaster and he did his best to mask his growing anxiety as two, and then four hours ticked by as the Grandmaster eventually led them to the viewing area for the arena. He’d made them while away the time with food and drink and pointless conversation, all while dropping hints that Loki was gonna be excited by the ‘big reveal’.
Given the state of Thor, he could only think it had to do with his brother, and he couldn’t imagine what sort of twisted thing the Grandmaster had in mind.
He thought of Thor’s little plead and the puppy-dog eyes he’d been given, he hadn’t seen those in quite some time. Loki felt like he’d lied to Thor, and he’d done it many times before of course, but this was different. Thor was clearly unwell, had pled for Loki not to leave, Loki promised to return, and here he was…having not returned.
More reasons for Thor want nothing to do with Loki, as if there weren’t enough of those going around these days.
“Oh, oh, here we go. You’re gonna like this, Lolo.”
Loki looked out to the arena where an unfamiliar and bulky fighter with a spiked club made his way out to the cheers of the audience. “Ah…very impressive.” he said, not sure how this was a gift, if that’s what it was or why he would like some random fighter.
“Sparkles was a little too much for the arena how he was, you know? Bad for business and all that. Thought I could get more uses out of him if he was a little less sexy-incarnate and more cherub-cutie, you know what I mean?”
“I-” Loki had no idea what he meant, but he didn’t like the sound of it all the same. “I’m sure you know best.” he finished, because he didn’t really have a choice, and he hid an anxious expression as he watched the arena.
“Plus, you know, it kinda seemed like you implied he picked on you and all that. I mean, I can’t imagine someone treating my little Lolo badly. It gets me bummed out.” The Grandmaster patted Loki’s cheek, and Loki bit down on his tongue against the shiver of revulsion and disgust at the patronizing physical contact. “Sounded like he needed to be taken down a peg, am I right?”
“...Yes, he certainly could use a lesson in humility…” Loki agreed with a sinking feeling. He thought of what Thor had said about being poked with something and feeling strange, and the Grandmaster's behavior now, and hoped his rare bit of complaint hadn't encouraged some tomfoolery on the Grandmaster's part.
The door for the other arena contestant opened and Loki kept his expression purposefully casual as he eyed it anxiously. But no one was coming out and he glanced at the Grandmaster who was frowning.
“Having a little trouble getting him to go, maybe. It’ll happen, just give it a minute.” The Grandmaster muttered.
Around thirty seconds later someone finally did come out of the door, and it took Loki a minute to really focus in and take in what he was seeing, but when he did his heart plummeted into his stomach
A blonde-haired and blue-eyed boy in a red and silver jumper with what looked to be a small sword had been shoved out of the quickly closed door. He clutched at the sword as he looked around with a frightened, confused expression and did a full three-sixty as he seemed to take in the whole arena before his gaze found his ‘opponent’. The boy’s posture was anything but confident and he seemed terribly small.
“That-” Loki started and couldn’t finish as he stared in shock.
“You got it, Lolo! Big bro is now a little bro! Isn’t that fun? You said he did combat training as a kid, let’s hope he’s good for it, be a shame if that cute little face gets smashed up too soon.”
Loki thought of Thor's woeful parting words, ones that seemed to carry far more weight than was applicable to the moment he said them. What have I done?