Archive of Our Own

Ace was in the lowest part of the ship in a smallish room. The door locked, tears running down his face as he sat on the floor with his dagger in front of him. The blade covered in blood as blood dripped from deep cuts on his wrist onto the wooden floor. His body shook with each sob as his thoughts got bad and the stinging from the cuts. He tried to calm himself, to push the bad thoughts away. He held onto his bloody and cut wrist as he curled up on himself as he cried louder from the pain. He put his other hand over his mouth to cover up his cry’s and choked sobs. His heart was pounding in his ears but not as loud as his own toxic thoughts. He put his hands over his ears as he screamed for them to shut up and to fuck off between sobs and hiccups.

It took him almost an hour to calm down completely. He grabbed a nearby towel and whipped up the blood and cleaned his dagger before sleuthing it. He then wrapped the towel around his wrist. He whipped his tears before he finally stood up and steadied himself, holding onto a crat. He cracked open the door to make sure no one was down where he was. No one was. It was night out so not a lot of people were out, only the ones for night watch. He walked out and headed to his quarters, where his old crew slept. He grabbed extra clothes and quietly made his way to the bathroom. He needed to wash the stench of blood off and clean himself up. He made sure no one saw him and peeked inside to see if anyone was in there. For his luck, it was empty. He got undressed and started to wash himself. He watched as the blood ran down the drain. He frowned.

When he was done he dried off and got dressed. He then wrapped a hand towel around his wrist and tied it. He hissed as it rubbed against the wounds. He grabbed his dirty clothes and went back to his quarters. He put the clothes in the hamper by his bunk before climbing into bed quietly, not wanting to wake up the others in the big room. He got under the blanket and looked up at the ceiling above him. He had a top bunk so to get on he did put pressure on his hurt wrist which made him hiss in pain but he made sure to stay quiet. He sighed as he slowly closed his eyes.

~

The next morning he woke up before the others in his quarters. He got up and headed to the infirmary. He was going to get bandages for the cuts. As he walked to the infirmary he held his arm that was still wrapped in a towel. He didn’t want others to see if they happened to walk by. He made it to the infirmary but when he asked they asked why. He just told them he cut himself with his knife when trying to sharpen it. They bought it and gave him some, not giving it a second thought. He thanked them before going off to find somewhere private to put them on. So he went to the bathroom and went into one of the stalls. He sat on the toilet and took off the towel. He made sure to clean up extra blood before putting on the wrap. When he was done he washed the towel in the sink to get the blood out the best he could before throwing it away.

He walked out and went onto the front deck. He was still new to the crew so he was still learning names and faces. He was only eighteen and joined not that long ago after trying to kill Pops over one hundred times. There weren’t a lot of people on the front deck. Pops was up along with the commanders. Ace went over to the railing and leaned on it looking out to sea. Someone then wrapped their arm around his shoulder. He looked over to see Thatch, who is the fourth division commander and the head chef of the Whitebeard Pirates.

“Good morning Ace, what are you up too?” Thatch asked him happily. Ace rolled his eyes with a tried yawn. “Did you not sleep well?” He asked.

“Not really,” Ace told him. “Yeah, I was up most of the night making myself bleed,” He thought.

“Why not?” He asked.

“Just too busy in my thoughts that’s all. Nothing to worry about,” Ace told him. Thatch hummed. He then saw the bandages on Ace's arm.

“Did you hurt yourself?” He asked.

“Um yeah, I was sharpening my knife and cut myself,” Ace told him with a nervous chuckle.

“I can heal it if you want, yoi.” Ace knew who that was. The only person he knew that said ‘Yoi’ was Marco the Phoenix, the first division commander, head doctor and right hand of Whitebeard. Ace looked back at him.

“No, I’m fine. It wasn’t that deep or anything,” Ace told him sheepishly. Marco raised an eyebrow. Sure he wouldn’t mind but he felt like he deserved to be in the pain he was in. He caused it on himself because of his own stupidity and selfishness. He deserved it.

“You sure?” Marco asked. Ace nodded somewhat hurriedly. The two looked at him weirdly.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry, it's just a tiny scratch,” Ace lied. It was multiple deep gashes he gave himself, but he’s not going to tell them that. They weren’t bleeding as much any more since they started to scab over some. If you looked at the bandages close enough you could see some blood leaking through but you had to be really looking to notice, which he hoped Marco or Thatch wasn’t doing that or anyone else.

“If you say so,” Thatch said. “Well I better head to the kitchen, see ya at breakfast,” he told them. They waved as he walked away.

“Don’t you have something you need to be doing?” Ace asked the first commander.

“No, not till after breakfast. I already did everything I needed to do already yoi,” Marco told him. Ace sighed as he looked back out at the sea. “Is something wrong?” Marco asked him. Ace shook his head. “Well if there is you can talk to me or pops or anyone else.” Ace nodded. He already knew that but he didn’t want to talk to anyone about his self harm and depressing thoughts. He’d rather keep it to himself like he’s been doing for years. He just hoped he didn’t get caught.

“When do we reach an island?” Ace asked him.

“We should be coming up on one in a few days. Why yoi?” Marco told him.

“No reason, just wondering,” He told him as he picked at his bandages somewhat nervously. Marco noticed this. He also happened to see the tiny bit of blood that showed through the bandages and it was more than a tiny scratch would do.

“Ace, what actually happened to your arm? That much blood from a tiny scratch isn’t normal unless it's on your head, yoi,” Marco questioned him. Ace teased as he grabbed onto his bandaged up wrist. Wrong move. He let out a hiss of pain and a tear slipped from the corner of one of his eyes. He cursed under his breath. “Nor is that the reaction. Show me your arm, yoi,” Marco told him sternly. Ace looked at him with fear filled eyes as he held his arm to his chest.

“It’s nothing Marco,” Ace told him, trying to keep his breath even as he started to panic. “No no no no, this can’t be happening! He can’t find out! He’ll tell the others and they all look down on me!” Ace panicked inside his head.

“Ace, what did you do?” Marco asked him sternly, but he could hear the worry. Ace held his injured arm close to his chest.

“Nothing, I just accidentally cut myself a little to deep,” Ace told him, his voice higher pitched. Marco knew he was lying.

“It must have been a big cut or multiple because blood is soaking from different areas,” Marco told him as he looked at Ace’s arm. Ace gulped. He hasn’t told anyone outside his family, not even Deuce who was his best friend and the doctor of his old crew. How can he just tell Marco?

“Yeah, it was a big gash that didn’t cut that deep. It’ll be fine by this evening,” Ace told him, as he’s about to have a nervous breakdown or probably already having it. Ace was sorta thankful that there weren’t many people on the front deck to see this, to see him like this. Marco grabbed his hurt arm and he hissed. Ace tried to pull his arm back but Marco’s hold wouldn’t budge. Marco started to unwrap the bandages. Once the first cut could be seen Ace froze and looked at Marco’s expression. Marco’s expression only got worse as he finished unwrapping his wrist. His face was full of different emotions. Anger, confusion, sadness, fear.

“Ace...” Marco said quietly. Ace hung his head away from Marco, tears threatening to fall. Marco pulled him into a hug, catching Ace off guard. He thought he was going to yell at him and tell the others, not hug him. “I thought it was strange for you to accidentally cut yourself with your powers. I’m always here if you need to talk yoi,” Marco told him. Ace's eyes widened before they softened and he hugged him back, clenching onto the back of Marco’s shirt, hiding his face in the man's chest. “I’m not judging you for doing this to yourself, but please go to someone or at least try before doing this,” Marco told him. Ace nodded. He was happy he wasn’t being mean about him doing this to himself. “Lets go get those patched up properly, yoi,” he told him. Ace nodded.

They let go of each other and they went to the infirmary. Marco disaffected and patched him up. Marco understood why Ace wouldn’t let him heal him so he wasn’t going to force it but he will try to help to make sure it doesn’t happen again. As they were walking to the deck the bell for breakfast went off. They head to the dinning hall. They get their breakfast and sit down. “Thanks for not telling anyone,” Ace told Marco.

“No problem. Something like that isn’t my place to tell yoi,” Marco told him with a smile. Ace grinned. Marco has always been nice to him and helped him out. He couldn’t believe he doubted him. Izo and Haruta sat down at the table.

“Hey guys,” Izo said with a smile. Marco smiles up at his two brothers and fellow commanders.

“Hey guys,” Marco said.

“Ace, did you sleep well?” Haruta asked the youngest.

“Um, yeah, I slept fine,” Ace told him.

“Your tired face says otherwise. Stay up late thinking or something?” Izo questioned.

“Yeah, but I’ll be fine,” Ace told them.

“Ok, if you say so,” Izo told him. Ace chuckled nervously as he hid his wrist beneath the table as he ate with one hand. Izo and Haruta raised an eyebrow as they watched him eat.

“Did something happen to your other hand?” Haruta asked him.

“Um, I just hurt it, that's all,” Ace told them sheepishly. They frowned at him. They knew Ace couldn’t really get hurt because of his devil fruit powers so they were curious on how he got hurt but they weren’t going to question it seeing he doesn’t want to tell them.

“Well I hope it gets better,” Izo told him. Haruta nodded. Ace muttered a thanks. He was thankful that they didn’t question him.

~

After about a week he found himself in the same room he did a couple days ago in the same position he was in. Leaning against a wall, blood running down both wrists, his dagger in front of him on the floor, covered in blood. He sobbed and hiccuped.

He remembered what Marco said. It was the dead of night so he didn’t think Marco would be up. He didn’t want the older man to see him like this but he knew it would make Marco worry less if he saw that he trusted him to at least go to him. Ace quieted his sobs as he stood up and grabbed his dagger. He didn’t clean up. He walked quietly and quickly to Marcos room as blood ran down his arms and dripped off his dagger blade. He knocked on the man's door. He heard a movement before the door opened.

“M-Marco, help,” Ace told him weakly as he held back a sob. Marcos' eyes widened as he smelt the blood. He looked at Ace's wrist and saw they both were covered in deep and non deep cuts and his bloody dagger in his hand. Marco pulled him into a hug, not caring about getting blood on him as Ace hugged back and clenched to his shirt with one hand as he sobbed. The other clenching his dagger. Marco slowly walked back into the room and closed the door.

Marco took the dagger from Ace and placed it on his cleaned off desk. Ace held onto him with his other hand as he gripped onto his shirt tightly. Marco ran a hand through Ace's black wavy hair as he sobbed into his chest. He waited for Ace to calm down before he did anything. Ace calmed down for about fifteen or so minutes and pulled away. Marco took off his shirt that was all bloody. He told him to wrap his arms in his shirt while he got bandages. Ace nodded as he sat down on the bed and cleaned up the blood. Marco walked over with a first aid kit and a clean rag. He took his shirt and spread it over Ace’s lap. He kneeled down between Ace's legs and Ace held out his arms. Marco cleaned up the blood and defected them before stitching up some of the deeper cuts that bleed a lot. Ace hissed as he tried not to turn into fire. He cleaned up any remaining blood before wrapping his arms up, not too tight but not too loose. He whipped off his hand with the towel before touching the wrap.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ace hiccuped. Marco looked up at him and smiled gently as he grabbed onto Ace’s hands.

“There’s nothing to say sorry too, yoi,” Marco told him gently. Ace bit his bottom lip to hold back a sob. Marco looked at him with a soft expression. “Do you want to talk about it?” Marco asked him softly. Ace shook his head. “Later?” Ace nodded. Marco smiled softly with an understanding nod. Ace laid his head on Marco’s shoulder. Marco let go of one of his hands and ran his fingers through his hair in a comforting way. Marco could feel Ace shaking as he held back his cries and sobs. “You can let it out Ace. There’s no reason to hold it back yoi,” Marco told him softly.

Ace broke down into hiccups and sobs not long after, as he wrapped his arms around Marcos neck. Marco wrapped his other arm around Ace’s back and rubbed his back. Marco didn’t move from his spot on the floor. He didn’t want to disturb Ace from his breakdown. He just rubbed Ace’s back as he sobbed and cried into his shoulder. He could feel his tear on his shoulder but he didn’t really care at the moment, it wasn’t important right now. Ace was.

Marco helped Ace when he started to calm down. He said comforting things to help him as he started to come back down from his breakdown. Ace then pulled away from Marco and whipped his tears and snot away as he sniffled.

“Better yoi?” Marco asked him. Ace nodded.

“Thanks Marco,” he told him with a sniffle. Marco smiled up at him softly.

“Of course,” Marco told him. Ace smiled some. “I’m just glad you're feeling better, yoi,” he told him.

“Yeah, but now I want to sleep, crying is so exhausting,” Ace joked some. Marco let out a small chuckle.

“We can talk tomorrow if you want. We don’t have to right now,” Marco told him. Ace nodded.

“Good, now I’m stealing your bed,” Ace said as he flopped down backwards on Marco’s bed. Marco chuckled as he shook his head.

“Go ahead. I still have some paperwork to work on,” Marco told him as he stood up. Ace looked at him. “You get some rest,” Marco told him. Ace just nodded. He fully got on the bed and got under the covers and fell asleep not long after his head hit the pillow. Marco chuckled. He grabbed the towel and whipped up the blood that was on the floor and cleaned off the dagger and his desk of the blood. While cleaning the dagger, when he touched the blade he felt kinda weak. “There must be seastone in it. That's probably how he’s able to cut himself,” he muttered under his breath. He looked at Ace and frowned as he put it in its sheath and put it on the desk. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the commander's shower room to clean up. He smelt like blood and he’d rather not get questioned about it.

He cleaned the blood out of his shirt and the drops that got on his pants before he washed himself. When he was done he got dressed and went back to his room. As he was walking back he ran into one of the nurses coming from pops room. “Oh, commander Marco, what are you still doing up?” She asked him.

“Have some work to finish up on yoi,” Marco told her. She hummed with a nod. “You should head to bed yourself,” he told her.

“I’m heading to bed now, night,” She told him before walking past him. Marco smiled and waved before walking to his room. As he got close he saw the blood that dripped on the floor. He sighed. He went and got a mop and cleaned the trail of blood all the way to the small room Ace came from. Marco looked around the small room. It was a small storage room that was never really used. They mainly stored things that they didn’t really use down here. This was probably why Ace stayed here.

As he was looking he saw the small puddle of blood on the floor by the wall between some crates. He sighed. He went over to it and cleaned it up. It’ll be bad if it stained the wood or made the ship smell like blood. “Why are you doing this to yourself Ace yoi?” Marco questioned quietly to himself.

When he was done he cleaned the mop before going back to his room. Ace was still asleep. He sighed with a small smile. He sat down on his desk and opened a drawer, getting out his paperwork and started working on it after putting on his glasses.

When he was done with his paperwork, the sun was already coming up. He groaned as he leaned back on the chair, popping his back. He didn’t mind doing an all-nighter. He’s had many. He looked at Ace. His face was less puffy and it wasn’t red any more. He looked at the bandages. They needed to be changed. He got some more wrap and grabbed one of his arms and took off his bandages and cleaned his wounds before putting on the clean ones. He did the same with the other arm. He threw away the bloody wraps and sat on the edge of his bed and ran a hand through Ace's messy black hair. There then was a knock on his door. He got up and opened it some.

“Yes?” He asked. It was Deuce. Marco forgets Deuce gets up early to help in the infirmary. He’s also in his division.

“Hey, have you seen Ace? He wasn’t in bed,” Deuce asked him, kinda panicked.

“Yeah, he stole my bed yoi,” Marco told him. Deuce’s eyes widened some. He wasn’t sure if it was from horror or surprise.

“Won’t he be in trouble?” He asked him, worried about his friend.

“No, I let him. He won’t be in trouble, so don’t worry,” Marco told him. Deuce sighed in relief.

“I can take him back to his bed Commander,” he offered. Marco shook his head.

“No, it’s alright,” Marco told him. “I don’t mind yoi.”

“May I ask if you know why he’s in your room?” Deuce asked him.

“He just had a bad night,” Marco told him. Deuce nodded.

“Usually if he gets a nightmare he usually tells me, that’s weird,” Deuce said, more to himself.

“Nightmares yoi?” Marco questioned.

“Is that not why he came to you?” Deuce asked him, confused.

“He didn’t tell me,” Marco told him. It wasn’t a complete lie. Deuce hummed.

“I guess I can ask later, bye,” Deuce said before walking away. Marco closed the door before looking back at Ace, who was still asleep.

“Well, he said he was going to tell me what’s going on today, I can ask him then yoi,” Marco told himself. He sat down in his chair and grabbed his book and started to read.

~

About two hours passed before Ace started to wake up. Ace sat up with a stretch and a yawn. “Mornin’ Ace,” Marco told him with a smile. Ace looked at him.

“Morning. When did you wake up?” Ace asked him.

“I didn’t go to sleep yoi,” Marco told him.

“Oh, did I take up the whole bed?” Ace asked him. Marco nodded as he took off his glasses and put them on the desk, along with his book after he put in the bookmark.

“Don’t worry Ace. I’ll be fine yoi,” Marco told him. Ace nodded. “Ready to talk about yesterday?” Marco asked him. Ace stiffen some before relaxing with a sigh.

“Might as well,” Ace told him. Ace moved so he sat on the edge of the bed facing Marco.

“If there's something you don’t want to tell me you don’t have too, I’m not going to force you yoi,” Marco told him. Ace nodded.

“I guess this has been going on since I was about ten or eleven,” Ace started. Marcos' breath hitched some. “Ever since I found out who my dad was I went around and asked if they thought Roger had a kid and what they thought about it or just their thoughts on him in general. All of the answers were the same. Saying that his kid deserved to die just like he did and that he shouldn’t have been born or that they would kill the kid themselves. None of them were nice. I guess after a while I thought the same thing. I thought I shouldn’t have been born, that I shouldn't deserve love of any type. Then Sabo, my other brother, was murdered so the only person I had left was Luffy and that’s when I started the cutting. I had stopped for a while since I was out at sea looking for a crew but it started up again,” Ace told him as he held his tattooed arm. Marco looked at him sadly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that Ace, but you're not alone no more, you have me and pops and the rest of the crew, along with your friends from your crew. None of us care who your real father is cause you are you yoi,” Marco told him. Ace looked at him with wide eyes. His eyes started to get watery. “I know it’s going to take a while for you to be able to stop but I want you to know I’m here for you Ace. Whenever you need to talk or just want some company I’ll be free. I’m not letting you go through this alone like you have been the past eight years yoi,” Marco told him. A tear slipped down Ace’s cheek as he smiled at Marco.

“Thanks Marco. That means a lot,” Ace told him happily. Marco smiled softly at him.

“Oh, Deuce came by looking for you since you weren’t in your bed,” Marco told him.

“What did you tell him?” Ace asked him, somewhat fearful.

“That you stole my bed because you were having a rough night yoi,” Marco told him. Ace sighed in relief. “I already told you I wasn’t going to tell anyone.” Ace nodded.

“I know I was just making sure,” Ace told him.

“Well breakfast should be done soon, you should go bathe yoi,” Marco told him.

“Oh, I smell like blood don’t I,” Ace said. Marco nodded. Aces eyes then go wide. “The blood trail!” Ace yelled worriedly.

“I already cleaned it, along with any other evidence of it,” Marco told him. Ace looked at him with wide eyes. “I already said I was going to help, this is also what I meant yoi,” Marco told the fire user. Ace nodded as he relaxed.

“Thanks again,” Ace said. Marco smiled at him.

“Of course,” Marco told him.

“I promise I’ll try to stop. I know you really don’t want to have to deal with this,” Ace told him. Marco forward at him.

“Ace, I do care. If my little brother is in pain I’m going to help. Plus I’m a doctor, I’d be a bad doctor if i let you not take care of your wounds yoi,” Marco told him. Ace chuckled some. “I myself never went through this and I’m honestly not sure what to really do but I’ll try my best to be there for you and patch you up,” he said.

“For someone who has no idea what they're doing, you're doing a good job,” Ace told him. Marco smiled at his praise. “Well, I’m going to go take a shower. Guess I’ll see ya at breakfast,” Ace told him. Marco nodded. Ace got up and grabbed his dagger. He noticed it was clean, he also realized he didn’t have on his boats.

“You weren’t sleeping on my bed with your dirty shoes and your dagger was going to stain my desk yoi,” Marco told him. Marco wasn’t sure if he should bring up the thing about his dagger but he kept quiet about it anyways.

“Oops,” Ace said, as he rubbed the back of his neck. Marco chuckled at him.

“It’s fine, now go take a shower,” Marco told him. Ace smiled and nodded. He headed out after putting on his boats.

~

Ace was on the deck laying. He had just woken up from a ‘nap’. He moved his arms in front of his face. He looked at the bandages. It’s been almost three weeks since then. Usually it's every week. “Marco,” he thought. He looked over and he saw the walking pineapple talking to Pops. He wasn’t close enough to listen in so he just stared. Ace started to get lost in his thoughts.

Marco was nice and caring. He always says his true feelings and he’s levelheaded. He’s always dealing with Thatch and Haruta when they pull pranks or when Ace joins in for the fun of it. He was also fairly good looking even if he had a pineapple for a head. Ace shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking that of one of his commanders, the first commander.

He felt someone poke his shoulder. He looked at the person and saw Thatch, Haruta, and Izo. “Oh, hey guys,” Ace told them with a smile.

“We were calling you for like two minutes bro,” Thatch told him. Ace chuckled sheepishly as he sat up.

“Sorry, lost in thought,” Ace told him.

“Was it about Marco, cause you were staring at him,” Izo questioned. Ace blushed some in embarrassment.

“No! I just happen to be looking that way,” Ace told him. He chuckled and patted his head.

“It’s ok, you can tell us what’s on your mind,” Haruta told him with a teasing snicker. Ace groaned.

“Guys, it’s not like that, well I don't think it's like that,” Ace told them. His thoughts on Marco are confusing.

“We’re here to talk about it, Acey,” Thatch told him. Ace glared at him for the nickname. “But for real bro, what’s going on with you?” Thatch questioned him more seriously. Ace paled.

“Yeah, we asked Marco if he knew what’s up since you guys have been closer lately but he didn’t tell us anything,” The cross dresser told him with his arms crossed.

“He didn’t tell you anything?” Ace questioned them.

“He just told us that it’s not his business to tell us,” Haruta told him. Ace was relieved that he kept his word but now he has to deal with it.

“Guys, I’m fine,” Ace told them. They crossed their arms and glared at him seriously. Ace gulped.

“Bullshit. You’ve had your arms wrapped for almost a month already and don’t think we notice the blood and the way you flinch when some of us grab it or you bump it into something,” Thatch told him. Ace cursed under his breath.

“Just tell us what’s going on,” Izo told him. “Everyone is worried, even Pops. We gave you some space thinking you would talk but you're not,” he said. Ace looked at his arms that rested in his lap. They weren’t bleeding any more, they were just scared and he didn’t want the others to see.

“Just going through some things, that all,” Ace told them. He wasn’t lying, just hiding.

“Like what?” Thatch asked.

“Things that aren’t of your concern. This isn’t going to happen again so don’t worry,” Ace told him with a somewhat forced smile. They frowned. Marco then walked over.

“What’s going on yoi?” Marco asked them.

“Oh Marco, we're just asking Ace what’s going on with him,” Thatch told him. Marco glared at him then the other two.

“Ace would have told you if he wanted you to know,” Marco told them. “Don’t force him to tell you. I know your worried but this isn’t something to rush yoi.” They frowned as they looked at the deck.

“Thanks Marco,” Ace smiled up at him. Marco nodded with a smile.

“Now you guys go get your divisions ready, we're getting close to an island yoi,” Marco told them.

“Yes sir,” Thatch said as he walked off. The other two nodded before walking off too. Ace stood up and dusted off his pants.

“Your arms ok yoi?” Marco asked.

“They're fine,” Ace told him.

“That’s good,” Marco told him with a small smile in relief.

“You worry too much,” Ace told him with a chuckle. Marco rolled his eyes. “It’s been three weeks since I did anything but then again that couldn’t mean anything,” he told him.

“Yeah, just come to me if you need to talk yoi,” Marco told him. Ace nodded. A nurse then called Marco over leaving him to his thoughts once again.

“Ace,” pops called. Ace tensed some. He hoped he didn't hear their conversation. Ace turned to him and walked over to him.

“Yeah Pops?” Ace questioned.

“Are your wrists ok?” Pop asked him, seeing the bandages were still on. “You’ve been wearing those bandages for three weeks straight.”

“Oh, I just got hurt, that's all. They're fine now,” Ace told him.

“Then you should be able to take off the bandages,” Pops told him like it was something he should know. Ace tensed as panic started to flow through him. He looked around to see if anyone was on the deck. And with horrible luck, there were a lot of people on deck and listening to their conversation. Ace looked to see if Marco was anywhere on deck, but he wasn’t. He must have gone to the infirmary with the nurse.

“Yo Ace. You ok man?” One of the other members asked. Ace looked absolutely panicked. His eyes blown wide, his breathing heavy and uneven.

“Someone get Marco!” A commander yelled. Ace was too panicked to tell who. Some people ran off toward the infirmary. Ace looked at the direction they left.

“Ace, hey, it’s alright,” Thatch told him as he put a hand on his shoulder. Ace flinched away as he looked at him with a panicked and fear filled face. Marco and some of the nurses ran around the corner.

“What happened yoi!?” Marco yelled worriedly as he stopped. Ace jerked his head in his direction. Marco saw the panicked look on his face and his eyes widened. Ace ran to him and hugged him, shoving his face in his chest. Marco felt the heavy breathing and the tears that now started to fall down Ace's face. He wrapped his arms around him. One hand on his head and the other wrapped around his middle. “Ok, who said what?!” Marco asked them angrily and loud enough for all to hear. Some tensed at the angry yell. Marco was horrible when he was pissed.

“Hey Marco, calm down, no one did anything to him,” Thatch told him with his hands up in defense. Marco glared at him. Thatch gulped.

“Oh, so an anxiety attack is ok huh?” Marco questioned him angrily. “I already told most of everyone to leave him the hell alone.” Everyone’s eyes widened.

“Pops was the last one to talk to him,” Izo told him. Marco doesn’t like being mad at pops but for him to make his own son go into a panic attack, that made him not care at the moment.

“What did you ask him?” Marco asked Pops, holding back his anger. Everyone knew Marco didn’t like getting angry at Pops. Well literally pissed at him over something. Everyone felt Marcos rage. They could tell he was furious.

“Marco, please calm down,” Pops told him calmly and gently.

“Pops, what did you ask him?” Marco asked him more seriously. “Was it about the bandages yoi?” Pops and the others nodded. Marco felt Ace grab tighter onto his shirt and his body shook. He didn’t even need to ask more questions. He knew what was asked and said. Marco just grew angry. He told pops not to question Ace when he asked him but like Usually he didn’t listen. “Couldn’t you have listened just this once. I know you're worried and everyone else is but if Ace wanted you guys to know what was going on he would tell you.” He told them all angrily and disappointedly. All looked down in shame, even Pops. “Will continue this later,” Marco told them.

Ace moved his arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around Marcos waist and hid his face in the crock of his neck. Marco didn’t care. Ace was shaking too much to actually walk. Marco turned and went to his room. He was going to talk with them after Ace was calmed and him himself. He was furious that no one listened to him. Ace kept coming to him at night saying everyone kept questioning him after Marco had told them not too. This was the last straw. He hated to see the smaller and younger male so devastated and hurt.

When they got to his room he sat down on the bed and Ace just sat in his lap. He didn’t move him, seeing as Ace needed the comfort. He ran a hand through his hair and his other up and down his back. Ace's breathing had evened out and his breathing wasn’t as heavy but he could hear the small sniffles. The shaking has also calmed down.

“You feeling better now yoi?” Marcos asked him softly. Ace nodded. Marco sighed in relief.

“Thanks,” Ace mumbled. Marco smiled softly.

“Of course,” Marco told him. “I told you I was here for you.” Ace chuckled softly.

“Hey Marco, can I stay with you tonight?” Ace asked him somewhat shyly.

“Sure, I don’t mind yoi,” Marco told him. Marco already knows he’s going to need someone after the talk with everyone else. No one knows how that’s going to go.

“Are you ok?” Ace asked. Marco quirked an eyebrow at the question.

“Why do you ask?” Marco questioned. Ace pulled back and looked him in the face. His hand moved to his shoulders.

“I could feel you shaking with how pissed you were, that’s why I grabbed tighter onto your shirt,” Ace told him. “Which probably was a bad idea cause you got even more pissed.” Marco chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit ticked off that they didn’t listen to me yoi,” Marco told him. Ace hummed. “But know your going to have to go out there and tell them what’s going on.” Ace frowned before smiling softly.

“I’ll have you by my side so I’ll be fine,” Ace grinned at him. Marco snorted some before laughing. Ace laughed too.

~

Marco and Ace headed back to the deck after a while. Marco wanted to wait till Ace was sure he was ready for them to go out and talk with them. Everyone was on the deck, waiting for their return, wanting answers. Everyone started to ask their questions only for Marco to tell them to be quiet and let Ace talk.

Ace explained everything.

He told them how it all started and when it started to get bad. He told them about his dead brother, Sabo. He told them about his childhood and what people had said to him. He told them who his real dad was. He told them how he hid it from his family and from his old crew. He explained how he had started back up about a month ago. He explained how Marco found out and that he’s helping him through it. He explained why Marco told them not to ask him about the bandages and why Marco couldn’t answer their questions or why he didn’t. He explained how he feels about the cutting and why he started back up again and why he stopped for about a year or longer. He explained why he was acting weird lately and that his dagger has seastone in it, which is why he could cut himself with what his devil fruit is. He even explained his failed suicide attempt when he cut his throat at the age of fourteen. He didn’t leave any of the questions that could be asked unanswered.

It took about an hour to tell them everything and they all sat there and listened to his story. It hurt all of them to hear that he was going through this, and for basically all his life, by himself. Seeing the scars on Ace's wrist from the cuts only made the story even more believable. The scars were there and still noticeable. They could see and hear the regret Ace felt for doing what he did to himself, not wanting to worry his family.

All of them told him that it was ok to feel the way he does and that they were there for him when he needed to talk or just needed a shoulder to cry on. They didn’t want him to go through this alone like how did back then. They wanted him to know that he is loved and still wanted him a part of the crew and that they accepted him for him no matter his Heritage. Even his original crew still saw him as a trusted friend, but were upset that he didn’t tell them till now. The crew had given him lots of group hugs, even Pops had picked him up for a hug.

Ace had ended up crying from how happy he was. He was happy that they didn’t judge him for doing what he did even if they didn’t agree with it. He was happy they still accepted him for his heritage. He was happy that Marco was right, right that no one would hate him for his doings and who his blooded father was. He was happy that he had such a wonderful and accepting family.

~

That night Ace laid in Marco’s bed while he worked on paperwork. Ace laid on his side, looking at Marco. “You should go to sleep too, it’s gotten late,” Ace told him as he sat up. Marco looked at him.

“I’m fine Ace. You go ahead and get some sleep,” He told him before going back to working on his paperwork. Ace sighed as he got up. He walked over to Marco and snatched the quil out of his hand, but careful enough not to ruin the paperwork. Marco looked at him unamused.

“It’s been a stressful day, well past couple of weeks. How about you work on the rest tomorrow and go to bed,” He told him.

“You’re not going to leave me alone till I do, aren’t you yoi,” he questioned him. Ace hummed as he put the quill on the desk.

“Never know. Now come on and get in bed,” He told him as he took off Marco’s glasses and sat them on the desk. Marco sighed as he stood. Ace grinned and got back in bed. Marco got ready for bed. He took off his shirt, sash and belt and laid them over the back of the chair. He then sat down on the bed and took off his shoes and leg bracelet. Ace had just stripped to his underwear, too lazy to take the stuff off his shorts. Plus cargo shorts aren’t that comfortable to sleep in.

Marco laid down on his back, an arm under his head and one over his stomach. “You know I don’t really need sleep right?” Marco asked him as he looked over at him. Ace laid on his side, an arm under his head, the other hand resting on his elbow.

“You still need it. Plus you have horrible eye bags, so you still have to sleep,” Ace told him. Marco chuckled softly.

“I do need sleep. I am human after all yoi,” Marco said.

“A human that looks like a pineapple,” Ace said matter of factly. Marco shook his head softly with a slight chuckle. “Don’t lie, you know it’s true,” He told him.

“I know. Been called that since young,” Marco said. “Guess I don’t have as good genes as you do.” Ace chuckled.

“I know, I’m handsome,” Ace said playfully. Marco laughed whole heartily, his eyes closed. Ace smiled at him softly as he hid his face in his elbow some. Marco slowly stopped laughing and looked at Ace. “Marco..” he called out. Marco hummed. “Thank you for letting me stay with you tonight and helping me,” he told him.

Marco looked at him softly. “Of course but there’s no need to thank me,” He told him.

“Yes there is. You stitched up my cuts and helped me out with the crew,” Ace told him seriously.

“We’re your family Ace. That’s what family does,” Marco told him. Ace looked at the pillow, biting his lip. “Any of us would help you if you only ask or if it seems you need it.” Marco turned to his side and looked at him. “Once you officially became Pops son and became our brother, you gave us free rage to worry about you. It doesn’t have to do with you being the youngest. You can be as old as me and still have everyone worry about you. And with worry comes us wanting to help, even if it's forceful,” He told him. Ace looked at him.

The two caught each other's eyes. Aces dark reds staring into Marco’s ocean blues. Ace's heart skipped a beat as his cheeks heated up some. He doesn’t know when his feelings for Marco started to change. Sure he looked up to him for guidance sometimes but that’s because he’s smart and has way more experience then him. But as of recently his feelings for the bird changed. He knows it’s wrong to have feelings like this for a guy and even be with one. Definitely if they're years older. Plus it could easily be because of hormones. He’s still young and those are still affecting him.

Ace looked at the pillow. “We should probably go to sleep. I’m drained,” Ace told him. Marco nodded.

“I’m tired myself,” Marco told him. Ace used his powers to blow out the candles making the room dark, the only light coming from the small port window from moon light. “Good night Ace,” Marco told him.

“Night Marco,” Ace said as he turned to his other side, facing the wall. A thick blushed formed on his cheeks. He hopes these feelings go away. He shouldn’t have had them in the first place. He doesn’t deserve someone like Marco.