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Roman’s skin has been burning with the urge to be touched, rubbed against- just some sort of contact. It’s gotten to the point his knees almost buckle whenever someone so much as throws an arm around his shoulders. The touch starvation is coming to a point where it’s affecting his appetite and what he eats.
He’s been focused on eating more hand made foods like rice, cookies, brownies- things with lots of sugar. It makes him feel happier, and makes the craving for touch go away. But of course he can’t hide it forever, and has been slipping up even.
Logan’s taken notice. It started out small with him noting how Roman’s body would shiver whenever the two would kiss or hold hands, the way Roman poorly hides his whines when Logan pulls away from hugs or cuddles. He has his suspicions and his worries, though because he knows about Roman’s past with Virgil, (who he’s very angry at) he won’t say it without any explaining or context.
But his worry only grows louder when Roman’s knees buckle while Logan guided him to bed one night.
It’s been a few weeks since then.
Right now, Roman was sitting on the bed of his room while he went through clothes. Getting rid of those clothes that reminded him of the bad times, keeping those that provided a little comfort. Those items have value after all- as He’s sorting through these objects, he pauses as his eyes come across one of them. A collar with a shock device and a little tag with the name ‘pet’ written on it. His body freezes and his breathing becomes ragged. Tears flood his eyes. No, no no no. Not again.
The phantom sensation of hands trailing down his stomach makes him want to vomit. He covers his face and looks away as he sobbed, breaking down completely. Memories he thought he’d gotten rid of coming to the forefront of his mind and reminding him of how he’s such a piece of shit.
He doesn’t know how long he cries.
Something had tipped Logan off that Roman was upset a few moments ago, and…god, did he wish he’d gotten there sooner. His heart feels heavy as he walks to Roman’s side, brushing the collar off of the bed and kicking it away, out of sight. “Darling, please sssssh…” he spoke, wrapping his arms around Roman’s waist and pulling him close into his lap.
The response he’s met with breaks his heart- hearing Roman cry was one thing but listening to how broken down he sounded during flashbacks was a whole other form of hurt. He shushes Roman by pressing his face against his neck, letting Roman curl close.
They sit there for a while, until Roman finally seems calmed down. Logan stays with Roman and not a word is spoken about this all.
A while after the incident, Roman had decided to shower. He stood in the mirror looking at all his stretchmarks and scars, scars he gave himself. He trembled. How could Logan love him, if he looked like this? He pulls on his shirt and looked at the mirror again, the signs of Virgil’s abuse etched deep into his face and his mannerisms. He puts the curtain over the mirror again- not wanting to look at his pathetic self another minute longer. He just couldn’t.
He hears the door opening and tensed up, expecting Virgil. He shivers and shakes, not expecting Logan’s gentle touch and his soft whispers of love. He relaxes slowly, his knees buckling at Logan’s touch. “Logan..” he whispers.
“Yes, love?”
“Can we…” the pit of anxiety filling his body worsens and he pulls away. “Nevermind. It’s okay.”
Logan’s little pout almost makes Roman regret pulling away. Almost. Logan does solemnly nod as he walks away, putting his tie on the desk and sitting down while he starts working. He feels worried. Ever since that big flashback Roman’s been so distant.
Roman noticed his boyfriend’s lack of response and he looked away, pulling his hood up and laying on the bed. Curling up under the sheets that smelled like his boyfriend. He relished in the scent and puddled against the bed, relaxing.
Naturally Logan takes notice and he smiled. This would be easier soon.
After about another week, Roman is so hungry for touch. So very hungry for it that he doesn’t know what to do anymore. His mouth waters whenever anyone so much as brushes his hand, and his stomach twists and his skin urns for any sort of touch. He lays on the bed in his room again, closing his eyes and taking in the familiar scent of his beloved Logan. He fidgets with his hands as he thinks about how to talk to Logan.
He’s surprised by a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and if he wasn’t so touchstarved he would be ashamed of how quickly he snuggled up to the person getting into the bed with him. He smiled happily and put his arms over the arms around his waist, face flushing a deep rose red. He wanted more of this.
Logan senses Roman’s cravings for affection and gently presses a kiss to Roman’s forehead, smiling as he pulled him closer. His hands moving to mess with Roman’s hair while running the tips of his fingers along Roman’s spine. “Darling, why don’t you ever ask for cuddles?” He whispers into Roman’s ear. Causing Roman to shiver.
“It’s…because I’m scared you’ll want to touch me before we do…” Roman admitted, snuggling into Logan softly as he hiccups. Why is he crying?
Logan instantly feels guilty and kisses Roman’s tears away, shaking his head gently. “Oh darling, no. Never. I would never want to touch you that way without your consent.”
“…you wouldn’t?”
“No. No I wouldn’t.”
Roman shakily breathes out, looking at Logan with teary eyes. “Thank you. I love you, please don’t ever leave me…” he mumbled softly, leaning against Logan’s hands as he shudders from the cold coming through him in waves.
Logan shushes Roman with a gentle kiss, pulling away only to hug Roman close. “I would never leave you. Not for anything in the world.”
“…can we touch more…?”
“In what way?”
“Just…in general…maybe take a bath together..”
Logan smiled softly and nodded. “Of course. I’ll run the bath.” He carried Roman into the bathroom and turned on the tub, putting in bubble bath and then putting on a candle. He looked at Roman as the tub filled. “You can undress darling.”
Roman hesitates. “You…sure…?”
Logan nodded. “Of course. Here, I’ll go first.” He slowly strips himself of his clothing, showing Roman it was okay and that everything would be fine. “It’ll be okay.” He whispers, sliding off his boxers.
Roman’s face flushed deep red at seeing Logan’s fully naked body and he let out a breath, nodding as he takes off his shirt. Then his pants and underwear. He climbed into the bathtub after Logan and started giggling when Logan pressed little kisses to his body, him returning the favor.
Roman smiled happily, helping Logan wash his hair.
Roman can’t tell how much he loves this. The pit of hunger in his stomach finally goes away, he grins fully for the first time in a while and his laughter starts filling the room. He doesn’t even think about the purple bitch. He cuddles and splashes Logan and kisses him, in return getting utterly spoiled by Logan.
Logan and Roman find themselves falling even deeper in love with eachother. They stare into each others eyes, their hands gliding against their bodies smoothly- lips intertwined as they began to move into one another.
With two little words, Logan and Roman completely unravel eachother with pleasure.
In the end of it all, Logan gently brushed his hands through Roman’s hair, and Roman held onto Logan’s waist and slept against his chest. That hunger for touch was gone and replaced with a happy bliss.
He’s so very lucky.