Chapter Text
Warning:
Mentions of Internalized transphobia
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The sun had already begun to set, as Nancy nervously tapped her fingers on the wheel of the car. It was the 3rd time that week that Jonathan had taken a double shift at Earl’s Gas, the only place that would hire him after the not lightly dubbed ‘fiasco’ of their newspaper internship.
She, herself, had found a relatively flexible and comfortable job at a mom and pop diner in the downtown of Hawkins, so she could still continue as head editor of the Hawkins high newspaper with little difficulty.
For a moment she wondered how things would’ve gone if she hadn’t been fired from the Hawkins Post, she shuddered at the thought of having remained ignorant to the grotesque underbelly of hawkins. A shiver down her spine, thinking of the horrific monster that had destroyed the mall killing so many in the process, and wondered if she hadn’t kept poking the bear, if she would’ve been among those many.
She was shaken from her thoughts at the muffled sound of the bell on the gas station door ringing, and a surprisingly animated Jonathan waved a frustrated hand back and whoever he was speaking to. She felt herself grin, her lips quirked up in a sarcastic manner, knowing the conversation tonight would be interesting.
Noticing Nancy parked outside the gas station, Jonathan knew he’d need to wrap up this unwelcomed encounter quickly. He glanced back at the infuriating customer, a young man maybe in his late teens stood in front of him, hands on his waist and a six pack on the counter.
“I’m… sorry sir but I’ve uh I’ve told you already that I cannot sell you this unless you show proof of age, some like ID or something” He glanced nervously at the clock, his shift was over in 3 minutes, and with the added pressure of not wanting Nancy to have to wait any longer he was anxious to leave.
“ Well I’m telling YOU, Byers that I’ve bought beer from here countless times, and you’re the ONLY person here who’s ever insisted on this ID policy” the man snapped back, placing a firm hand on the counter adamant about his purchase. Jonathan sighed deeply, realizing he was going to need to de-escalate this situation. ‘Great’ he thought bitterly, ‘The one thing I'm seemingly incapable of.’
“Listen, Nathan? Right listen dude I understand your frustration, but I already talked to Pauline and Smithie about you and both claim that they DO in fact ID and I’m not about to risk my job. So my suggestion is find someone who has an ID to make the purchase for you ok?” The man huffed, frustrated, but stood pondering for a moment. Jonathan's eyes continued to move between the dissatisfied customer, the clock, and Nancy’s car sputtering in the warm evening air. The thought of being with Nancy right now made his stomach do summersaults, god what he’d give to be with her, close to her, making her laugh like she used to. He was shaken from his thoughts when Nathan snapped his fingers in his face.
“Dude are you even listening” the man spoke roughly, just as the clock hit 8pm.
“Wow! Well look at the time man, I'm sorry but I’ve got to leave, someones waiting for me out there” he spoke the words rushing out as he backed out from behind the counter, coat in hand, keeping eye contact with the disgruntled man. “I’m sure my dude Smithie will make sure you’re taken care of but I should really head out, don’t want to work any unpaid overtime” he chuckled nervously “I’m sure you understand!” He waved, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically at the man before half sprinting away from the convo to Nance’s car.
“Hard Day” she asked, her head tilted in his direction as he threw his coat into the backseat, and slid into the car. He would never recover from how clean Nancy kept it. He supposed that's one perk of refusing to drive a bunch of teenage boys around. He silently mourned how he would never be able to clean all of the stains Will’s friends had left in the backseat of his car.
“You have no idea Nance” he signed exasperated, “Guess who was back again? 6 letter word, first letter N”
“No” she laughed, her typical breathy and short laugh that he loved so much. “Please don’t tell me it was-”
“-Nathan Blackwood” They said in unison, before breaking into a fit of gentle laughter.
“I thought he was banned after he literally jumped over the counter and tried to steal like 50 bucks worth of merchandise” she giggled lightly.
“Unfortunately, Joe’s not really one to like, reject, most of the time, paying customers. Being the son of a senator pays I guess, even if he doesn’t.” He sighed. Nancy gently reached over to him and took his hand in hers, she smiled softly at him rubbing small circles with her thumb on his hand. He flushed a little, everyday he found himself more and more grateful for her. “But uh..” he said sitting up, “w-what about you? How was-” he racked his brain. It was Tuesday, which meant no work, but yes to the journalism club, “How was the Hawkins High paper today, any thrilling stories to share?”
Nancy’s eyes immediately lit up, as she began to pull out of the gas station and onto the freeway.
“ Oh you know, usual paper stuff” she spoke casually but the spark in her eyes didn’t fade, that passion with a sharp gleam of affection, he marked that as another reason why he loved her. “Jason Carver’s the new, ‘on the rise’, basketball champ of Hawkins High. And I know sports aren’t really your thing, but like he’s pretty good we’re actually winning games”.
Despite it being both their senior year, the only reason he was even partially aware of anything happening at Hawkins High school was because of her.
“No kidding? You’re saying that ‘King Steve’ has been dethroned not once, but twice in the last year?” he said smiling at her.
“He’s going to need a new self congratulatory nickname we can tease him with now” Nancy mused sadly, “ It’ll never be the same.” Suddenly, the entire tone shifted from a light breezy conversation, to a cloud of dread that hung over both of them, she was right. Things were never going to be the same, he turned his attention out towards the freeway as forest zipped by them.
Both of them had suffered so much these last couple of years, all of the people close to Jonathan had been through so much. It hurt, especially to know that the evil that haunted his brother, the thing that had Will waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, had followed him into his freshman year. It stung knowing the routines that formed in tight knit communities along with familiar faces were beginning to fade.
Tragedy after tragedy, he realized the impact it had on him. How there were certain things he'd never enjoy again, and now as silence had befallen their car ride, he thought of the strain it had been on Nancy. She lost so much, so much of the normalcy she had freshman year. She wasn’t fragile but she was hurting and Jonathan knew it, he wished so desperately they could’ve been a regular couple.
His thoughts quickly turned inward, the sadness turned bitter as he picked at his nails, eyes still pasted on the road ahead. He dug in his heels as he decided he wouldn’t subject her to another crack in this semblance of the status quo they had found. He wouldn’t selfishly take away more of the normalcy she deserved.
Nancy cleared her throat, and raised an eyebrow at the now silent Jonathan as the last glimpse of sunlight vanished over the horizon.
“Hey…” she said softly “Is something bothering you Jonathan you got really quiet” He turned to her and gave her a fragile half smile, even now she was worried for him.
“Um- no no just wondering how Will’s going to get home tonight, you know from Lucas’s” Despite the lie, even after all these years the thought of Will biking home alone did truthfully turn his stomach.
“I thought you said your mom was picking him up, so you and I could have a-” she leaned towards him, her demeanor changing from concerned to goofy “an evening full of adventure” she laughed, gesturing with one hand off the wheel the other resting in position, at the strange wording his mother had chosen for his date tonight. It was nice though, another return to ‘regular’, a chance to be a normal couple.
“Oh-oh yeah I completely forgot” he feigned laughter, and he squeezed Nancy’s hand tight looking at her lovingly, “I’m so excited for our evening of ‘high end’ romance” he weakly pulled out his shoddy french accent to emphasize the ‘romance’ that was about to be undertaken, “ I believe Ms. Wheeler we will be starting our evening off at Hawkin’s finest theater to see the box office smash ‘The Legend’”
“Ohhh Oh yes Mr. Byers, I do believe I know just the place for dinner afterwards, real classy” she put a sarcastic emphasis on the word classy lovingly rolling her eyes at Jonathan’s teasing, “the finest burger joint in town, only the best for you.”
“Then” he began to find his footing, inhabiting a more dramatic demeanour like the one he’d seen Will use during his games, although his delivery fell flat when compared to his younger brother “I declare the romance has begun!” Balling his fists and gesturing toward the roof of the car, in a motion that may have been ‘mighty’, “A night of intrigue, romance and adventu-” he stopped when he noticed Nancy silently giggling into the steering wheel. “W-What '' he laughed.
“Nothing!” she sighed, turning to look at him, her face rosy from holding back laughter, her head leaning against the steering wheel “I just can’t help it! You’re being VERY cute right now Byers” he flushed, and laughed into his hand. He suddenly found himself unable to look at her for the rest of the car ride without turning beet red. As they pulled off the highway towards their night of romance.
It had been a good night, a great night in fact. Nancy seemed to love the movie, he thought she might like it when Will had mentioned how she used to play DND with them. As it turned out fantasy was in fact something Nancy Wheeler did indeed enjoy. The burgers had been fine, greasy and slightly charred, from an unclean grill, which Nancy made sure to remark after he’d put it in his mouth. Jonathan suddenly wished his girlfriend didn’t have such extensive knowledge of the ins and outs of restaurant kitchens.
However, the highlight of the evening had been getting to chat with Nancy, about school, about petty senior year drama. Her cheeks were bright and full of life as they teased each other and complained about the others' lack of taste. Jonathan fell deeper in love with her following every chuckle, awkward pause, and passionate speech. They had made sure to purposefully steer clear of more intense topics, they had enough of those discussions in the last year to last a lifetime.
Everything was going smoothly, but there was an itch at the back of Jonathan's brain. It was the part of him that wanted to divulge every detail of himself to Nancy, the part of him that knew after 2 years of dating they'd made out, but still hadn’t slept together because of a secret he couldn’t, just couldn’t, tell her. The part of him that wanted her to know all of what made him, himself. They swore after the upside down they wouldn’t keep secrets, after everything, secrecy was something they just couldn’t afford. But, despite his ache to tell her, he just couldn’t find the courage to tell her.
The clock rolled around to 11pm, and Nancy asked gently if it’d be ok if she hung around his place for a few more hours.
“You sure you wanna hang out at the Byers Haunted House?” he commented with a hint of humor but mostly dry sincerity.
“Listen, I love my mother dearly Jonathan” she sighed deeply turning to face him, they had decided he’d drive on the way back, “ But she really likes to pry and I don’t know” she held Jonathans hand up to her forehead leaning into his embrace, “I want this evening to be about me and you, as much as possible, and ending the night with my mom bursting into the room every few seconds. It’s a little too embarrassing…” she smiled into his hand. He understood what she meant, and while under normal circumstances his place wouldn’t be any more private then Nancy, his mom was currently working late and Will had decided to sleepover at Lucas’s, so the house was free for the time being.
As the two pulled into the Byer residents drive-way, he felt his grip tighten around the steering wheel. Despite the quietness of the house these days, the time between the events of ‘83 and now didn’t do much to heal some of the more painful memories, it truly felt cursed. He had no idea how Will could even sleep in his room after everything. The answer was he couldn’t, so Jonathan and him switched rooms. It wasn’t a big adjustment for him, he’d do anything to help his brother move past the feeling of being watched he complained about, to give him back a glimmer of privacy and comfort. Nancy put a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.
“Hey if you don’t feel like hanging out here, we could always just call it a night.” Despite his hesitancy to take another loved one into a house that caused his family so much grief, he refused to bring a premature ending to such a perfect night.
“No, no I was just thinking about what movies we have laying around that we could watch. Not many of them are that good” he chuckled as they stepped out of the car, and into the house.
As they entered, he swore a little noticing he had left some of the lights in the living room on, along with the general disarray of the living room, his mom had insisted that they at least cut down on the electricity bill this month by ‘turning off lights you are literally never using’. He laughed a little thinking of her, he was so grateful for her, he wouldn’t be the man he was today without her in his life, literally and metaphorically.
Nance, like second nature, helped herself to what remained in the pantry, before sitting, legs folding under her on the couch. She smiled back at him, her head leaning against her hand as she patted the space next to her. He groaned a little before making his way over to her, realizing the severe lack of entertainment choices. ``Fifth rewatch of ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun” is the charm he thought, snuggling next to Nancy. Grateful to not be alone tonight.