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Exhausted, Ga On sat down on the edge of the bed and looked colorlessly at his trembling hands. He felt like he was losing Yo Han, unable to stop him from the irreparable. After all, having carried out the execution, unwittingly forcing the population of the country to take part in the murder, it would become a point of no return.
Even after abandoning his prejudices by siding with Yo Han, Ga On could not accept such an extreme method.
Exhaling, squeezing his temples with his fingers, trying to relieve an unpleasant headache, Ga On swallowed a viscous saliva. He really tried to stop Yo Han, but the darkness froze in his eyes, preventing him from reaching his heart. Yo Han was never a monster, but because of the eternal accusations, it became easier for him to put on a mask.
Fighting nausea, Ga On lay down on his side. Attempts to fall asleep were unsuccessful, and all the younger one did was fidgeting on the bed, crumpling the sheet with his fingers. Even feeling unwell, he couldn't stop thinking about how to save Yo Han.
If it came to a well—thought-out plan, Ga On was never Yo Han's equal. Yo Han managed to meticulously calculate the steps of his enemies, warning of bad consequences for his team, while Ga On acted on emotions, making mistakes and vice versa revealing his weaknesses.
Realizing that it would be an impossible task to come up with a way that could influence the elder, Ga On still did not want to give up. He was ready to stoop to such a primitive action as sleeping pills Yo Han and not letting him leave the house.
Wiping the cold sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, Ga On exhaled loudly. It was almost two o'clock in the morning, and he had not closed his eyes, and even managed to wind himself up. Swallowing saliva more often, he hoped to do without vomiting, but unable to stand it anymore, he ran to the bathroom.
Painfully touching his knees with the cold tile, Ga On emptied his stomach, realizing late that he had not eaten anything, and that it could not be poisoning. Trembling paralyzed his body, and sitting on the floor with his hand over his mouth, Ga On stifled his sobs.
It was so obvious to immediately understand, but, caring only for Yo Han's well-being, the younger one completely forgot about the possibility of getting pregnant.
And all Ga On was thinking about now was that his pregnancy was not part of Yo Han's plans.
Licking his dry lips, Ga On could barely get to his feet, staggering back to the bed. Pressing his palm to his flat belly, he smiled bitterly. The urgent need to stop Kang Yo Han at all costs, led him to the professor.
Everything turned into the worst nightmare when Ga On found Himself in the circle of persistent reporters. The camera flashes only aggravated his already poor condition. The younger one's eyes were rippling, and the nausea only intensified. He was painfully pale.
Stoically holding on, Ga On clenched his fists, soberly digging his nails into the skin.
"All the trials were fake," Ga On said, immediately lowering his gaze, as if through the cameras he could see the pain reflected on Yo Han's face.
Ga On blamed himself. And the excuse that his words stopped Yo Han couldn't calm him down.
Crumpling up an empty sheet of paper on which he was supposed to write all the sins of Kang Yo Han, Ga On hesitantly went to his office. Stopping in front of the door, he longingly recalled his first day at work, when he also felt insecure, holding the door handle.
There was no feeling of fear when Ga On stopped in front of Yo Han, only an understanding of what it was like for him to hear such a thing from his mouth, from the person he trusted the most. It was hard. So that Ga On had no right to talk about their baby.
"You hit me in the back," Yo Han was the first to break the oppressive silence, remaining standing with his back to the younger.
"I told you I couldn't let you cross the line," Ga On said a little hoarsely, painfully accepting his words when they sounded so true.
"Don't cross the line in the middle of a war?" Yo Han slowly turned around and closed the distance between them completely. "You're so naive".
A grin was reflected on the man's lips, and Ga On wanted to retreat, but as if an inner sense of justice prevented him from doing so.
"People have doubts, and they know when to doubt and know when to stop. If they didn't know, there would be only monsters left in this world. Monsters with self-pity," Ga On felt that it was worth keeping silent, but he was always open with Yo Han, not hiding what he wanted to say, just like now.
"And here we are again," Yo Han chuckled, separating them by a few steps to abruptly turn back, not hiding some sinister smile on his lips. "Are you the same? Are you scared me too?"
Coming close to Ga On again, Yo Han roughly squeezed his neck, forcibly pushing him against the wall. Relaxing, pliably touching His back to the wall, Ga On did not look away calmly. Even when he didn't have enough breath, his head was splitting apart, he looked restrained, accepting Yo Han's anger, knowing that he was not like that. Ga On could always see the real thing in him. Only sometimes it was necessary to find a way to sober him in time.
"If you want to kill us, just do it," Ga On whispered hoarsely, and catching a startled look at him, he plunged into the saving darkness for which he prayed so much.
Ga On didn't know that Yo Han immediately released his fingers, picking up the limp body in time. Ga On didn't see the fear frozen in his beloved eyes as he hurriedly carried him to the car through the back door, avoiding reporters. Ga On did not hear the regrets that the man did not stop whispering. Ga On was just finally able to rest, dreaming of Yo Han's smile, feeling his warm embrace, which he needed so much.
***
Only when Ga On opened his eyes, he instinctively pressed his palm to his belly. The familiar ceiling could soothe, but not as much as a soft touch on his hand. And looking at Yo Han sitting next to him, he involuntarily exhaled.
It was crazy to play with his life and the life of a baby, but Ga On's confidence took over. Only Yo Han himself didn't think so, still looking excitedly into his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Yo Han asked softly, as if afraid of scaring him off, weightlessly stroking his palm.
"I only found out yesterday, and I couldn't… We didn't agree on this, and then I publicly betrayed you, and..." Ga On hurriedly muttered, becoming insanely vulnerable.
"Shhh, my stupid baby deer," Yo Han said soothingly, leaning closer, gently pulling him to himself. "You stopped me".
"I'm so sorry," Ga On stuttered, snuggling closer, fingers desperately crumpling the shirt on the elder's back, barely swallowing tears as soon as Yo Han buried his face in his neck, inhaling the smell of his omega.
"I hurt you," Yo Han exhaled guiltily and gently touched his lips to the noticeable trace on his neck from his fingers.
"I provoked you," Ga On shook his head, hating when Yo Han took all the blame on himself.
"Kim Ga On, don't try to justify me. I was so scared. Your words, I thought I had lost you and our baby," Yo Han confessed dejectedly. "You should have told me not to hurt you".
Touching Ga On's neck with his knuckles, Yo Han exhaled noisily. He flinched slightly in surprise when Ga On moved his palm to his still flat belly.
"We're fine," Ga On muttered, a little embarrassed, pressing his hand to himself, meeting the elder's eyes.
Yo Han pressed his lips very gently, putting into this trembling touch an oath that he would do everything to protect them. It was so important to feel each other, experiencing peace, as if they were soul mates.
"Doctor Park will come in the evening, and then he will check you," leaving a soft kiss on his temple, Yo Han smiled slightly, pressing his palm to his bare belly with great trepidation. "We really didn't talk about this miracle, but I always wanted to have a small copy of you in my dreams, baby deer. Yes, it's a dangerous time, but I'll take care of you, I promise. We'll be okay".
"I love you, Yo Han," Ga On sobbed, and Yo Han hugged him, staying in bed long enough for his boy to fall asleep peacefully, gently resting his head on his chest.