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Jason was not happy. Dick could practically see him coming out of his skin. It wasn't that he didn't work well with others, it was just that the Red Hood did not usually work with the Justice League.
But the tip that he'd brought them was big enough that Clark, Diana, and Bruce took the mission on, to Jason's immediate horror and regret.
Dick was only here because Jason had dragged him with them to be a buffer between him and Bruce.
The contact that they were meeting had information on an intergalactic human trafficking ring that seemed set on Earth as its next stop. Still, it was a simple information gathering meeting. It wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary at all, except it was taking place on a space station in another solar system.
"This is the place," Jason said stiffly, nodding towards a bar covered in neon alien language. "You should just stay back. Try not to look so out of place."
Even this far from Earth, the Justice League was recognizable, so they were all dressed closer to Jason's leather jacket than their usual uniforms. And while Bruce had made the three bats all wear domino masks, they were all otherwise just dressed in cargo pants and black shirts or jackets.
He had to admit it was strange seeing Clark and Diana in black.
"Where'd B go?" Jason asked tightly.
"Scoping the exits," Dick said. Not that he'd bothered to give Dick warning he was gonna disappear on them either, but he knew how much Bruce hated missions in space. There wasn't any other reason he'd have left them. Dick himself was trying not to get giddy every time they passed a window, because Bruce usually did his best to keep him from space missions entirely.
Since Jason was necessary for this one, he didn't have a chance at keeping his kids out of it.
"Well, we're not waiting for him," Jason snapped, turning and stomping into the bar.
Clark and Diana just shrugged and followed him, so Dick sighed and moved to join them. He didn't make it very far.
A blue force-shield like a holographic net appeared the moment he stepped into the doorway, knocking him off balance and back into the hall. He looked back at the door in surprise, but the net had already flickered back out.
"What the hell--" Jason snapped, moving back towards him.
"Child!" a high pitched voice shouted, as a pink-skinned alien with bright white hair and a guard's uniform rushed over. "Child, you are not allowed in there!"
The alien grabbed his arm gently, and started pulling him away. Dick was so baffled by being addressed as child, that he was sort of just letting her, until Clark grabbed his other arm.
"Let him go," he said firmly.
"Oh," she said, dropping Dick's arm. "Is he yours?"
"He's mine," a voice growled from behind them. Bruce pushed himself forward, putting Dick safely between him and Clark. "What is going on?"
The guard gave a sigh that sounded exasperated. Dick wondered if maybe that sound was universal. "Your child was attempting to enter the adult only bar," she explained. "I was going to take him to the authority office. Children are not allowed to be on this space port unattended."
"Why do you think I'm a child?" Dick blurted out in disbelief.
The guard turned back to him, blinking ruby eyes in surprise. "The age net denied you passage. And children are not allowed--"
Bruce held up a hand to forestall her. "What is the criteria?"
"To avoid complications, we go off a planet's highest age of maturity as our standard. For humans, the age of entrance is keyed to 21, which is the age of maturity as we understand. Children under the age of twenty-one are not allowed in restricted areas and must be accompanied on the space port."
"He's twenty-three," Bruce said simply. "It must be malfunctioning."
The guard narrowed her ruby eyes. "It was created by the resident mage, I assure you, there is no way to deceive it."
Clark frowned. "Could it possibly some meta gene? Slowing aging?"
"He's been tested," Bruce said, waving him off.
"When was I tested?" Dick demanded.
"You could do a quadruple somersault at age eight," Bruce said simply. "Of course I tested you."
"We're kinda on a schedule here," Jason reminded them. "Think you could make an exception? Parental permission?" The last part was said with a smirk.
"No exceptions," the guard insisted. "He will be able to pass the net when he is twenty-one, not before."
"But that doesn't make..." Dick started to protest, and then he went pale. "Oh."
Bruce went still, before turning to look at his son. "Oh?" he echoed dangerously.
Dick laughed weakly, and took a step further out of his range. "They're using magic, B," he said. "Who trusts magic? Not us, am I right?"
"You know what's happening," Bruce said, eyes narrowing the lenses.
"Really don't," he said. "Look, Jay's right, you need to go to the meet. I can wait here."
"Children are not allowed in the space port unaccompanied," the guard repeated. Dick wondered pettily if she was a robot.
"Nightwing," Bruce snapped, grabbing his arm.
"Uh, so I may be twenty?" Dick said. "I think."
"You think," Bruce repeated, his voice flat."You're supposed to be twenty three in a few months. Explain. Now."
"Uh, well, it's sort of...identity related?" Dick hedged, glancing at the guard.
Bruce pulled him a few feet away by the grip on his arm. Jason, looking even worse than Dick, stepped close enough to be able to eavesdrop.
"Explain," Bruce snapped.
"Okay well, uh, sometimes venues would decline to host us because they were worried about a six year old working without a net. Haly got hassled marginally less if it was an eight year old performing without a net. So they sort of just changed my documentation."
"Are you telling me you were six years old when I took you in?" Bruce asked, and the calm in his voice was a little terrifying.
"No," Dick said at once. "No, of course not. I'd just turned seven."
"Wait wait wait," Jason said, horror creeping into his voice. "Are you telling me I'm older than you? I'm the oldest?'
"Only technically," Dick assured him. "I mean, do you really want the job?
"Your birthday is in March. Wait, is your birthday even March? That means you're like seven months younger than me!!" Jason cried, reaching up to pull at his hair. "I wish I was dead again."
"Okay, I think we're all overreacting a bit, it's not a big deal," Dick assured them, but as he glanced across at the four faces staring at him with varying levels of horror, it didn't seem to be calming them down.
"You were out fighting crime when you were a toddler," Clark said, sounding scandalized.
"Seven," Dick corrected, "and come on that's not that much different than nine--"
"You were driving when you were fourteen..." Bruce realized.
"I mean technically I've been driving the Batmobile since I was eleven," Dick said, but that definitely did not seem to reassure anyone.
"Okay, okay, as much as I'd love to have an existential crisis, we are on a schedule," Jason said. "We need to wrap this up, and then we can interrogate Goldie."
"We can't leave him here alone," Bruce said grimly, glancing at the guard.
She took it as an invitation, and stepped back over. "If convenient, we have a facility to safeguard children," the alien offered gently. "You can leave your child there and retrieve him when your meeting is complete."
"Okay, seriously, not a child,” Dick protested. “Still an adult!”
"You can't expect them to understand the intricacies of eighteen versus twenty-one, little wing” Jason smirked.
“I thought you were having an existential crisis!” Dick cried.
“I’m adapting, this may be fun,” Jason decided.
"I'll stay," Bruce said tightly. "Go to the meet. We'll wait here."
"Uh...B...you're not mad right?" Dick asked, when the others disappeared back into the bar. "Because I was a kid, I wasn't gonna say I was even younger than I was! You wouldn't have let me be Robin--"
"Damn right I wouldn't have! I barely did as it was!" Bruce snapped.
"So you admit I made the right decision," Dick said, backing up with a disarming smile. "Honestly, B, I barely remembered my own actual age until this happened! My parents had me five when I was four and then eight when I was six."
Bruce narrowed his eyes. "We will be correcting that when we get back."
"What?" Dick said blankly. "You can't be serious--"
"It'll be a scandal, but it has to be done," he decided. "You shouldn't be in bars."
"You can't be serious," Dick said. "You've sent me into bars undercover since I was a teenager! You're gonna get weird about it now?"
"I really don't want to think of all the things I let you do as a teenager at the moment," Bruce told him. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll stop reminding me."
Dick was about to protest that, he was still an adult, when a man came barreling out of the bar, slamming into them. With them both distracted by their argument, they didn't realize what had happened until Bruce was already on the ground and Dick was choking in the guy's grip. His arm was firmly around Dick's neck, cutting off his air as he backed up towards the hall.
"Stay back!" the guy yelled.
Jason skid to a stop at the bar, Clark and Diana at either side, and glared at him. "Let him go."
"I only wanted one of you, did you have to bring your whole damn league?" the guy screeched in a panic. "I just need one hostage! Okay, that's all, so just stay back."
"Unhand the child," the guard said, appearing beside them.
The man turned to her in disbelief. "Listen, lady--"
She reached out and touched his forehead, and he went limp and instantly collapsed to the floor. Dick fell forward as his grip loosened, catching himself on his hands only to be dragged up a second later by Bruce and pulled back towards them.
The guard reached up to her comm. "Incident to report, child in danger. Threat has been neutralized. Pick up required."
"What the fuck," Jason whispered.
"What happened," Bruce snapped, looking back to him, while keeping a steadying grip on Dick.
"It was a false tip, they just wanted an earth hero to hold hostage against the Justice League. I don't think he expected me to arrive with Superman and Wonder Woman."
"He ran like the coward he is," Diana sneered, glancing down at his twitching form.
"Is he gonna be alright?" Dick asked with a frown, leaning forward only to be dragged back by both Bruce and Jason.
"He will be fine, child," the guard said. "It is just a stunning touch. I am sorry you had to witness such violence."
"Yeah, his poor young eyes," Jason said, smirking slowly. "Whelp, looks like you've got this in hand. We should be heading out. It's past this one's bedtime!"
Jason tugged Dick back towards Diana's ship. "i hate you," Dick told him cheerfully.
"You hate me now, but just wait until I tell Stephanie," Jason cackled.
"This isn't funny," Clark fretted, casting worried glances over at Dick. "I think I cursed in front of Robin once when I thought he was thirteen." He looked sick. "He would have been eleven.'
Jason just laughed harder.
"But, B, you were kidding about making this public, right?" Dick asked.
Bruce didn't say anything, just ushered Dick into the ship.
"B? Hey, B? Come on! Tell me you were kidding!"