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There was really no nice way to say it: New York, like, kind of sucked. There was always something to do – a party to go to, a grand opening to attend, like, a million pop ups to show her face at. And it was fun at first.
Except for the part where she came home alone.
It would have been fine if David and Patrick had moved to New York, too. Like, that would have been great. Or even if (ew) her parents had moved to the city. But no, David and Patrick were staying in Schitt’s Creek, and her mother’s reprisal on Sunrise Bay meant that she had to go to L.A., and while Alexis was totally fine alone (because Ted was still in the Galapagos, and she hadn’t talked to him in months, and that was fine, too), it like… kind of sucked.
The truth was, she’d kind of taken for granted how not alone she’d been in Schitt’s Creek, and now adjusting to how her life had been before – with a bunch of, like, admittedly shallow friends – was hard.
So, like, no one could blame her for going back to Schitt’s Creek for Patrick’s birthday. Even if she knew David’s invitation for her was just like, being nice and not wanting her to feel excluded.
Which was kind of obvious from the way he reacted when she showed up at his front door.
“Um, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked. He didn’t seem angry, or anything, just surprised. And why wouldn’t he be? Alexis hadn’t told him. It was a surprise! The whole point of surprises was to be surprised!
“I’m here for Patrick’s birthday party? You invited me, David.”
“Yes, but I didn’t think you’d show up on my doorstep with no warning. The house is so not ready for this – unless you’re staying at the motel.”
Did David not want her there? No; that was stupid. David loved her.
But then Patrick saw them. “Alexis! What a surprise! It’s good to see you! David’ll show you to the guest room.”
“It’s not ready,” David said.
Patrick gave him a look. “She’s your sister. I think she’s seen worse than our guest room.”
David shared a look with Patrick before sighing. “Fine. I guess you can stay here. But seriously, we are not hiring a cleaning service for you.”
Alexis rolled her eyes. “I know that, David,” she said. She took her bags and followed Patrick to the guest room, which was actually totally fine. She didn’t know what David was complaining about.
When David and Patrick went to work the next morning, Alexis tagged along. She wouldn’t, like, say it out loud, but she really had missed them. She already felt, like, strangely relieved to be back in Schitt’s Creek.
It was comforting in a way New York just wasn’t.
Maybe it was because she knew when she walked into the café, she’d see Twyla behind the counter, and it would almost be like no time had passed at all.
Which was exactly what happened.
“Alexis!” Twyla exclaimed. “Oh my god, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in New York?”
“I had to come back for Patrick’s birthday, obviously,” Alexis said, even though she was pretty sure Twyla could see right through her. Twyla had always had that talent. “Anyway,” she said before Twyla could say anything else, “I’ve been, like, dying for one of your smoothies.”
Twyla smiled. “Coming right up.”
Alexis reached for her wallet to pay, but Twyla waved her off. “It’s on the house. It’s so good to see you again, Alexis. You have no idea.”
“Um, I think I have some idea. You know, I’ve missed you, too, Twy.”
“Really?”
“Um, of course.”
“Oh. I just kind of figured you’d be busy in New York.”
“I mean, I guess I’ve kind of been busy, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.” She sighed and sat down. “It’s like, you know, New York is just so busy. Besides, my parents are in LA, and everyone else I actually, like, care about is here.”
“Really?” Twyla asked.
Alexis nodded. “Mhmm! I mean, there’s David and Patrick, obviously, but you know… we’re friends, Twy. I missed you, too.”
“Do you want to go get some drinks tonight?” Twyla blurts out, like it wasn’t something she planned. Maybe it wasn’t. Alexis didn’t know.
“Sure!” Alexis agreed.
“Great!”
Twyla served Alexis her smoothie, and added on some pancakes. “On the house.”
Alexis smiled. “Thanks, Twy. You’re the best!”
Fortunately, Alexis packed a few outfits nice enough to go out for drinks. Okay, maybe everything she owned was nice enough to go out for drinks around here, but that was beside the point. It would give Twyla the wrong idea if she showed up dressed like everyone else around here.
Alexis had standards.
“I don’t get why you’re so dressed up,” David said as Patrick drove them to the bar. Of course they were coming, too.
“It’s called respecting my friends, David.”
She couldn’t see David roll his eyes, but she knew he did. “Weren’t you, like, so eager to get out of this place?”
“Um, so were you, and it’s not like Patrick’s family lives here, or anything. You could have moved, too.”
“It wasn’t the right choice for us,” David said. He reached over and squeezed Patrick’s hand.
Maybe one day Alexis would actually understand this, but for now, she found it, like, vaguely annoying.
Luckily, the drive to the bar wasn’t too long (nothing ever was around here), so she hopped out and patiently waited for David and Patrick before heading inside.
She found Twyla immediately. She was wearing one of Alexis’s old dresses, and it looked good on her. Maybe a little too good – but no, she and Twyla were just friends. Besides, Alexis lived in New York now. Any chance of that happening had been out the window for a while, hadn’t it?
It didn’t matter.
Alexis made a beeline for her. “Twy! You look so great!”
Twyla blushed. “Thank you. You do, too. Obviously. You always look great.”
“Thank you,” Alexis said, preening. “That dress looks so good on you.”
“I’m lucky I have a friend with such good taste.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Here, let me get you a drink.”
Alexis was pretty drunk. It was just a good thing that Patrick had volunteered to be the designated driver. Getting an Uber or Lyft out here was a whole thing, and even drunk, Alexis didn’t have the patience for it. Maybe especially drunk.
But it was nice!
She was with people she cared about – people who cared about her – and she knew she wouldn’t be stumbling home alone to her Tribeca apartment, which made her feel kind of warm and floaty.
Twyla was pretty drunk, too, and it turned out that she was, like, a very affectionate drunk.
“Alexis,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“You’re so pretty.”
“Aw, thank you! You’re pretty, too, Twy!”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Always,” Alexis assured her.
Twyla leaned in. “I wish you didn’t live all the way in New York.”
“Aw, it’s not that far,” Alexis said, patting her arm. “Don’t worry; I’m going to come back to visit a lot. I think David likes having me in his guest room.”
“David would prefer someone a bit more tidy in his guest room,” David said, “but you are family. So.”
“We love having you over, Alexis,” Patrick said.
“Thank you,” Alexis said to Patrick. She turned back to Twyla. “See? You don’t have to worry. I’ll be back a ton.”
“That’s not the same, though,” Twyla said.
She was right.
Twyla insisted on a sleepover, and Alexis was drunk enough that the idea sounded fun and exciting. Patrick dropped them off at Twyla’s place, and Alexis promised to meet him and David at the store tomorrow.
They changed into pajamas – it was really just lucky that they were almost the same size, but then, Alexis thought, if they weren’t, then it wouldn’t have made much sense to give Twyla so many of her old dresses.
Twyla decided to break out some more alcohol – it was cheap beer, but Alexis was past the point of caring.
They turned on the TV to watch some, like, totally forgettable rom com that had been cut down for cable. Alexis stretched out in Twyla’s lap.
“Alexis,” Twyla said after a while.
“Yeah?”
“I need to tell you something.”
Alexis sat up. “What is it?”
Twyla squeezed her eyes shut. It was actually pretty adorable. “I think I might have feelings for you?”
Oh. Well, that was a little bit of a surprise. “You think or you know?” Alexis asked, because those were two totally different things.
“I know,” Twyla said. “Alexis, I don’t expect anything to happen here, but I didn’t tell you before you left, and I kept kicking myself for it, and…”
And Alexis never found out what Twyla was going to say next, because she kissed her.
She could do her job virtually, anyway, couldn’t she?