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“Look at the lights.” Robin has an airy tone in her voice as the two stare at the ceiling, giggling together, he reaches for her hand and she takes it, the two of them just looking at the ceiling together. Nausea slowly filling them. The regret of the thrown out popcorn they consumed definitely coming on.
“Ugh, Rob.” He mutters and she looks just as pale as they meet each other’s eyes. They bolt for the bathroom, both of them being violently ill. Movie long forgotten, the two are in separate stalls puking their guts out. Steve flushes, still leaning on the toilet, head hanging.
“I think we puked most of it out.” Robin mutters, and Steve makes a noise of confirmation. As if they actually felt better. “No, Steve, I’m serious, ask me anything.” He pauses, not entirely sure what to ask. What’s something people don’t admit?
“When’s the last time you peed yourself?” Robin begins laughing before sighing a bit.
“Today.” She laughs some.
“Today? Yeah those drugs are still in your system.”
“Just a little bit!” She’s laughing.
“Just a little bit.” Steve mocks, laughing along with her.
“Come on you didn’t see the bone saw and pee some?”
“No! I didn’t actually.”
“Probably because you were just waking up from getting your ass kicked.” She laughs some.
“Okay, okay go ahead and ask me anything. We have free reign right now.” Steve laughs some, Robin looks at her shoes, she can see Steve’s shoes under the door. She has a question, but she isn’t sure how to ask it without potentially hurting this weird ass friendship she’s developed.
“Do you like anyone?”
“I like lots of people.” He laughs, Robin feels queasy again, but not from the drugs.
“I mean, like do you like like anyone.” She whispers. Steve is silent, did she fuck up?
“That’s a hard question.” He answers. She goes deadly silent, not sure because he should answer honestly. He’s also deadly silent.
“Did you OD over there?” She laughs a little, trying to lighten the mood. She’s laughing on her back, legs against the stall, she isn’t expecting Steve to slide under the stall to look at her. He adjusts some so they’re laying the same way, legs on the stall and they can look at one an other if they want. She choses not too.
“I didn’t OD, just thinking how to answer it is all. Don’t make fun of me okay?” He says it with a hint of pleading because lets be honest all that ever happens is he is made fun of. She nods and looks at him, he won’t make eye contact. “This summer I met this girl, and you gotta let me finish before you say anything, and she was hot, but different. She had these weird quirks and her mouth ran faster than her brain,” Robin’s mouth goes dry, but he continues unknowing to her current ailment, “and then Dustin came home and was like why does it matter if she’s a weirdo you’re a weirdo too and you need to get over social constructs, but at that point I had. I did the day I told her about my parents, the day she listened to me be upset and didn’t mock me when I pretended I wasn’t crying. Then I was like damn, this nerd is my brand of nerd and I was into it. I didn’t know how to go about it you know? So I enjoyed her mocking me… then I noticed something else. She never flirted with anyone else. She didn’t flirt with me either though. I thought it was so weird, then one day Nancy Wheeler came in looking for Mike.”
“Mike is the super tall one right? Black hair?”
“That’s Mike.” He responds, she feels his hand in hers and he’s holding it above their heads and he’s just calmly playing with their fingers unaware of how fast her heart is going, “and when Nancy comes in, she literally dropped what she was holding, just dropped her scooper and couldn’t develop a singular sentence to say hello to her you know? I had to come out and talk to my ex girlfriend while she stood next to me, trying to make conversation.” That had happened almost a month ago she realizes.
“Steve…” she says.
“I said wait until I’m done.” He laughs before continuing his story, “I realized something, that girl was never going to like me, well like me like that. But she would mock me and laugh with me and annoy the shit out of me. That girl was going to love me someday maybe,” he sighs when he says it, she looks at their hands how he holds hers, she did love him, “and I was happy that it wasn’t romantically.” Steve says and he finally looks over at her and she stares at him.
“I, Steve, I…” she stutters, not sure what to say, closing her eyes.
“Did you OD over there Rob?” The easiness off of the tongue her names rolls off.
“No… just you know how I told you about Tammy? How she wouldn’t stop staring at you? It wasn’t because I wanted you to look at me instead it’s because I wanted her to look at me that way.” Robin admits, her eyes still closed, Steve is still holding her hand and she feels his fingers brush against her cheek, her eyes open to meet his.
“I know.” He says it so easy and she just looks at him, he knew, he knew since that day with Nancy Wheeler.
“And you don’t hate me?”
“How could I hate my best friend?” He asks with such honesty, she feels like her heart could explode, no one has called her their best friend since elementary school.
“You knew?” She can feel tears prickling her eyes.
“I knew for the last six weeks and it hasn’t changed a thing.” Steve says it easily. She rolls some and hugs him, holding on to him as they lay on this disgusting bathroom floor, as they’re going to get like some awful disease from the fact they shared needles, but he holds her tightly because she feels safe. He knows who she is, and it’s fine, it’s normal, and he loves her anyway. So she’ll take the risks of getting the world’s worst diseases from the StarCourt Mall bathroom, right now she just wants held and loved like she is right now.
“I haven’t told anyone.” She finally whispers, laying on him.
“You don’t need too, not yet.” He says.
“You’re like,” she laughs some, “the world’s biggest idiot and you knew, everyone must know.” They’re both laughing now, easing the tension between them.
“I’m actually not, despite the larger opinion.” He defends.
“Maybe you aren’t Harrington.”
“People just don’t ever listen to me.” He scoffs, a laugh behind it.
“I love you too Steve.” She says then, slipping her hand back into his.
“I didn’t say I loved you.”
“You didn’t have too.” She says, looking back over at him for a second, he has a satisfied smile on his face and he seems like part of him is complete now that he admitted to her he knew.
“There you two are!” Is heard loudly as they both sit up, a little faster than necessary to see an exasperated Dustin and Erica.
“Hiya.” Steve waves and laughs some. She felt like this secret was definitely safe with her best friend.