Archive of Our Own

The Herrscher of the Void drifted in endless nothingness, free from the shackles of her childlike form.

Surrounding her was an infinity of emptiness, where neither colors nor illumination made any sense. In the distance, something that looked vaguely like stars shone, but they did nothing to grant a sense of direction in the endless void called Imaginary Space.

But that wasn't an issue. While humans were unable to make sense of the mere existence around her, a Herrscher such as her was perfectly equipped to navigate it. 

And yet, she still hadn't found what she sought.

The Gem of Haste. Her gem, wrongfully stolen from her. She knew it was here, alongside the corpse of that infuriating woman from months ago. It was just a matter of finding it.

After so long within Imaginary Space, the gem should have been charged enough to properly overpower her worthless vessel. Once she had it in her grasp again, far more paths to victory and domination would open before her.

… So why was it nowhere to be seen?!

A scowl was practically stuck to her face. Her senses were stretched out as far as they could go, enough that even the faintest pattern out of place would be detected.

And yet, the Herrscher of the Void found nothing. 

Wherever the Gem of Haste was, it was just beyond her reach. Even after so many weeks, she felt no closer to her gem now than she did at the very start of her search.

It was like trying to locate a pin in the sea. There was just no convenient way to navigate the vastness of Imaginary Space all on her own.

Maybe if she had, say, a thousand bodies going in every possible direction and a few more months at her disposal, her chances might improve. But even if she used the Void to project herself in multiple places at once, there were only so many copies she could produce before reaching her limit, which would certainly be far less than a thousand.

And then there was the problem of trying to control that many forms at once.

In the position she was in, she was forced to accept that the Gem of Haste may be forever lost to her.

The Herrscher of the Void let out a frustrated yell that was heard by no one but herself. 

Even in death, that annoying woman got in her way.

With that bitter acceptance came the reality that she had no real avenues to move forward with her plan.

The Gem of Conquest was gone, stolen by that so-called Herrscher of Thunder. That she dared to wield such power and deny the Herrscher of the Void what was rightfully hers enraged her to no limit. She would have her revenge when the time was right.

As for the Gem of Desire, it had long since ended up in the hands of the World Serpent, as far as she was aware. The Herrscher of the Void certainly wished to storm their base and take it back, but there were some slight snags in that plan.

For one, she didn’t even know where their base was , and the worthless insects in Anti-Entropy didn’t have any leads.

Even if she did know, they likely had anti-Honkai contingencies in place specifically to prevent such an attack, because those pathetic insects loved nothing more than to cheat and be annoying. 

Two, Kevin Kaslana.

That was rather self-explanatory.

As it stood, the Gem of Serenity alone just wasn’t enough. Her pitiful vessel might have continued to reject her true nature as a Herrscher, but that didn’t stop its innate power. The regeneration just so conveniently kept her from meeting an untimely fate, meaning the Herrscher of the Void couldn’t just trip her down a flight of stairs and take the body for herself.

No matter how much she wanted to.

The corruption that spread around her host's body because of her rejection of the cores was just as useless. At the pace it was going, it would have been a decade, at the very least, until the Gem of Serenity finally killed her vessel.

She didn’t have the time nor the patience to wait that long, so she stabilized the cores to earn the trust of those foolish humans. Because clearly the Herrscher of the Void wouldn't do something that specifically went against her plans.

That didn't mean she enjoyed doing so, though.

With all but one of her gems unavailable to her, there was only one option left: To find another Herrscher and steal their core.

Unfortunately, that in itself would be a tall effort. The number of Herrschers in the world was pitifully low as it was, and it just so happened that every single one of them was either a traitor or an annoyance.

Bronya Zaychik, the successor of that cheating Herrscher from back then, was the closest to her, but also the most dangerous to attack. There was no guarantee that she could kill her, steal the Core of Reason, and fully take over her host's body before someone stepped in to ruin her plans.

And then there was Raiden Mei, the source of all her headaches.

As much as the Herrscher of the Void hated admitting it, that woman was far stronger than her. Challenging her to a battle head-on for her core was nothing short of suicide without some type of advantage on her side. 

That meant, unless another eruption would conveniently happen sometime soon with a fresh core ready for the taking, she was out of options.

And it was so, so unfair.

As it stood, this entire effort had been entirely useless. The Herrscher of the Void simply had no choice but to wait for an opportunity to present itself. She could do nothing in her childish form but play the part she had crafted for herself, an innocent and well-meaning child who wanted to bring good to the world.

It made her sick just thinking about it.

“...”

There was a shift in power from the Void Core, and she knew exactly what it was. Her vessel was stirring from her sleep, likely to awake soon.

That was her cue.

Blowing out an irritated sigh, the Herrscher of the Void willed her spirit out of Imaginary Space.

Sirin opened her golden eyes, her physical body laying in a warm bed and soft blankets. 

As always, it took her a moment to readjust to the small form she created for herself. Even though this was her original body, she had gotten far too used to the older form of her vessel, which she was currently hugging.

Well, she’d be taking it back, anyway. It was just the ‘when’ that was still up in the air.

… Wait.

It was then that the Herrscher of the Void realized something strange about her position.

On the bed, her host was embracing her like she was some kind of plushie, but that much was normal. The same couldn't be said about the way her own arms were also wrapped around her vessel, pulling herself closer as if she had been looking for warmth.

“...”

She… definitely didn’t remember being in this position last night before she left for Imaginary Space, so what the hell. 

Before the bewildered Herrscher could continue questioning that, her vessel yawned and opened her eyes at last. Like the slow human she was, it took her a very long time just to wake up properly. 

When she finally did, she looked right at her with a fond smile. “Sirin, morning…”

The Herrscher of the Void put on her best tired smile, slipping right back into pretending that she actually cared about this useless girl. “Morning, big sis...”

According to the digital clock on the nightstand, it was just past 7 AM, so playing a drowsy brat was bound to be effective.

“Guess you’re still not used to early mornings, huh?” Her vessel asked with a cheeky smile.

“Nuh uh…” The Herrscher of the Void played along, shaking her head slowly. 

Her vessel chuckled. “Trust me, you’ll get used to it.”

Her vessel pushed herself off the bed, finally freeing Sirin from her annoyingly tight grasp, and did some stretches. The Herrscher of the Void finally sat herself up just as her vessel got to her feet, stretching her arms over her head.

She wanted to kill this worthless girl so badly.

“Hey, I got an idea.” The annoying girl suddenly piped up. “How about some homemade breakfast, by yours truly?”

“Hm?” Sirin looked at her with a curious smile. “Breakfast made by big sis?”

Kiana turned back to look at her, wearing a strangely unsure smile. “Well, I had something in mind. What do you think about blini?”

"Ooooh, blini!" Sirin pretended to be excited as she cheered. "I haven’t had that in forever!"

The faker sighed in relief. "Okay, so Bronya wasn't messing with me…"

"Does big sis really know how to cook?" Sirin asked, her head tilted.

As if she didn't have plenty of memories to answer that question.

"O-Of course I do!" her vessel lied in the most unconvincing tone possible. "I mean, it’s just some kind of pancake, right? How hard could it be?"

Theresa Apocalypse glared up at her goddaughter, who stood sheepishly before her with a nervous smile as she averted her gaze. Behind her were the remnants of what used to be a nice looking walk-in kitchen, after the staff had finished cleaning everything up.

“What did I say about using the oven by yourself?”

“... That I should keep doing it because my cooking skills have totally improved?” Kiana smiled disarmingly, attempting to abate Theresa’s sour mood.

It didn’t work.

“Kiana, you set off all the fire alarms on the entire floor,” she stated dryly, making Kiana wince. “Not only that, but you woke Tesla up. Convincing her not to tie you up and hang you upside down from the base's rooftop wasn't fun.”

“Aha…” Kiana laughed nervously, failing to form a rebuttal for that.

“And we've lost an entire kitchen, which will be a headache to manage by itself.” With a weary sigh, Theresa glanced to the side, where Sirin was watching the scene curiously. “I’ll be sure to make you a proper breakfast, okay?”

“Really? Thanks, Aunt Teri!” Sirin smiled happily, and those words still managed to make her heart flutter. “But, ah, don’t yell at big sis! She was just trying to be nice, da?”

“See, Sirin gets it!” Kiana smiled, as if that somehow justified everything she did. “I did it out of the goodness of my heart, so I shouldn’t be punished for trying to be nice, yeah?”

Theresa crossed her arms, and Kiana's smile died on the spot.

“We’ll put any potential punishments on pause for a moment.” She let out another sigh. “Since you promised Sirin a homemade breakfast, I’ll fulfill that in your place. Without destroying an entire kitchen.”

“Can Aunt Teri make blini?” Sirin asked innocently, looking up at her with expectant eyes. 

“Well, I’ve certainly made pancakes before. Blini can’t be that hard, right?” Theresa smiled confidently. “I'll do my best, even if it won't ever be as good as Mei's—”

As soon as Theresa's mind registered what she was about to say, she attempted to cut herself off, but wasn't fast enough. When the name slipped out of her mouth, a split-second of pain covered Kiana's face.

It only lasted for a moment before she shifted it to a strained smile. 

Theresa wanted to jump right out a window.

“I think I’ll just get something from the cafeteria,” Kiana suddenly blurted out, shooting up to her feet before Theresa could say anything. “Hey, make sure you make Sirin some amazing blini, alright?”

“Kiana—”

“I'd love to chat, but my mouth isn't going to feed itself! Bye!” Kiana immediately walked away as if in a hurry, taking a sharp turn down the hall and disappearing from view.

Theresa could only stare. 

'Way to go…'

If Kiana didn't want to talk to her for the rest of the day, Theresa wouldn't even blame her.

“Aunt Teri, who’s Mei?”

Theresa looked over at the curious little girl, surprised for a moment at such a question.

“Kiana didn’t tell you…?” 

Sirin shook her head. 

Well, wasn’t that lovely?

Then again, it made sense. Everyone in the base had been left somber after that event, and none of them had been eager to bring her up in conversation. Theresa, in particular, was especially laden with guilt over her departure.

The fact that Kiana hadn't even told Sirin about Mei seemed to confirm some of her worst fears about their relationship,though. That Kiana was just using the girl as a lifeline, in the same vein that she used Mei.

“Mei…” Theresa thought for a moment, carefully choosing the best words to say. “Mei and Kiana were very close, but… they had a very big fight and Mei ended up leaving. Kiana feels bad about it and she… she misses her very much.”

Far more than what could have been put into words, she felt.

Sirin seemed to think about that for a moment. “Mei left and it made big sis sad… Then… if Mei comes back, big sis won’t be sad anymore, right? Can we go find Mei and bring her back, Aunt Teri?”

Theresa smiled sadly at Sirin’s innocent enthusiasm. 

“I wish it could be that simple, but Mei… She's in a very complicated place right now. She doesn’t want to see Kiana, or anybody else, for that matter.”

“Oh…” Sirin’s smile faded, and she looked down sadly. 

Theresa felt bad for bringing down the girls’ mood, but that was simply the reality of things. She really doubted those two would ever reunite on good terms, and she already worried about her goddaughter running off to do something stupid about it.

“... We can still make big sis happy, right?” Sirin asked after a moment of awkward silence, still looking hopeful. “I wanna make big sis happy. We can do that, right?”

Honestly, the optimism of this girl was infectious.

“I think we can.” Theresa assured her. “But first, let’s make you breakfast. I don’t want you going hungry.”

Just like that, Sirin’s smile was back. “If Aunt Teri’s making it, it’ll be the bestest ever!”

Theresa wanted to hug this girl.

Kiana ate alone.

She was being avoided, as usual. She pretended not to notice the sharp looks and harsh whispers as she collected her food, and she pretended that the lady behind the counter refusing to look her in the eyes was no big deal.

Kiana’s smile was firmly in place as she sat by herself, the large wooden table secluded into a corner next to a large window far from everyone else. She set her tray of breakfast food in front of her and wasted no time in grabbing the spoon and digging in.

A storm was raging outside, and rain harshly pelted against the glass. That was unfortunate. Kiana remembered hearing that it was supposed to be a clear day today. It would definitely put a damper on anyone who had outdoor plans.

But that didn’t bother her. She kept smiling as she ate her food, the perfect picture of a happy and carefree girl who absolutely wasn't breaking apart inside.

Thunder clapped outside, and Kiana’s body jolted. Some food escaped her spoon as she was bringing it to her mouth, hitting her shoe on the way down.

How lovely.

Kiana glanced outside. Lightning flashed, thunder clapped, and the rain continued to pour down unrelentingly. There were no signs that it'd stop anytime soon.

“... This is the only way I can seek atonement from the people I’ve hurt… and from Miss Himeko. It's alright, Mei. Just wait for me.”

“Kiana!”

She tore her gaze away from the window.

Ever since Sirin appeared, things had been great. The girl brimmed with childish innocence and love for everything around her. Kiana might have felt uneasy with her at first, but it didn’t take long for her to warm up to the child as if she were family.

With Sirin nearby, Kiana honestly thought she was getting better.

Except all that it took to destroy that illusion was for her to be reminded of Mei for the first time in weeks.

The girl let go of the spoon inside the plate and buried her face in her hands, the food becoming a fleeting thought as a whirlwind of complicated emotions overtook her yet again. 

She missed Mei. She missed her so much. The emptiness that she left behind felt like it strangled Kiana, a consistent and painful reminder of just how much she messed up.

Ever since that day, Kiana had plenty of time to realize just how horrible she had been to Mei.

That girl had spent months looking for her, worrying day and night about her safety to the point of losing sleep and the very first thing Kiana did after they reunited properly was lie about her condition. Because, in her mind, that somehow meant she'd spare Mei the pain of knowing Kiana was dying.

As if it'd be any better if Kiana dropped dead in front of her with no warning.

They were only excuses. Kiana could see that now. She just wanted to die to make up for her mistakes and knew Mei wouldn't approve of that.

Except Mei found out regardless, then was told that there was nothing she could do about Kiana besides watch her deteriorate and die in a matter of days. Surrounded by people who either had no solutions or were more than happy to lie to her, of course Mei sought answers somewhere else.

Mei only wanted to help her, and what did Kiana do?

She lashed out at her. On that rooftop, Kiana took all the repressed anger and hurt that built up over the last few months and threw all of it at Mei.

They could have just talked. Maybe there was another way to solve the situation.

Kiana wouldn't know. The very first thing she did was run at Mei and try to punch her in the face. 

She was an absolute idiot.

Now, Kiana wanted nothing more than for Mei to be here right now. She wanted Mei’s gentle smile, her warmth, and her reassurance. She wanted Mei desperately. Because Mei had always been the one constant that would never leave in her wildest dreams. She would always be there for her.

But Kiana had managed to drive her away completely. Mei wouldn’t ever come back, and she hated Kiana, and she wouldn't ever want to see her again —

‘Stop! STOP!’

Kiana forced those intrusive thoughts out of her head, wiping away the beginnings of tears. 

Nobody looked her way, but Kiana still felt embarrassed that she nearly had a breakdown in public.

So much for being better.

In the end, she had faced none of her issues. She was just using Sirin to ignore them, just like she had done with Mei for all those years. 

In retrospect, the girl had been a convenient tool so Kiana could pretend nothing bad had happened in her life. As if she led a completely normal and inconsequential existence instead of being a cocktail of traumas and abandonment issues.

Sirin didn’t deserve to be treated like that, just like Mei didn’t. 

‘God, I need therapy… Would that even help?’

Maybe she should try meditation or something, like Fu Hua taught her. If only she was around instead of…

“...”

Great, now she was sad again. Maybe she really should talk to Theresa.

“Kiana? Is everything okay?”

The white-haired girl was slightly startled by the sudden voice calling her name, but she quickly calmed down when she glanced up and saw Seele looking at her.

She looked very worried, and that was all Kiana needed to realize that she probably looked terrible. 

“S-Seele, ah…” Her shaky voice certainly didn’t help. “S-Sorry, I was just… thinking about… stuff.”

She couldn’t have sounded less okay if she tried.

Seele’s worried look didn’t fade, but she nodded. “Alright, but if you ever want to talk, I’m right here.”

A very small smile found its way to Kiana's face. Just how unlikely was it for someone this nice to exist in this kind of world?

“Um, so, what’s up?” Kiana asked, trying to sound casual.

“Ah, well…" Seele suddenly seemed nervous. "Dr. Einstein wanted to see you again and, um, run a few tests on your Core…"

Ah, so the doctor wasn't even trying to hide it anymore, huh?

"I don't need another checkup, and I definitely don't need any tests done on me. I'm perfectly fine, see?" Kiana gestured to herself, as if Seele couldn't see through her atrocious fake cheer. "Tell Einstein that she doesn't need to run tests on me anymore. Or use you as bait.”

Seele flinched at the words, but they both knew it was the truth. The doctor was quite shameless about using Kiana's fondness for Seele as a weapon to her advantage.

“E-Even so, the research could really help Anti-Entropy, right?" Seele attempted.

Kiana sighed, averting her eyes. "I know, but… I can't. Look, I just can't. It's one thing to use this power in an emergency, but I never want to associate myself with her again. Not after everything she's done…”

There was an awkward silence between them before Seele spoke again.

“A-Alright… I’m sorry for insisting,” she spoke slowly, a troubled look on her face. “I-I’ll tell Dr. Einstein…”

Kiana felt guilty, but not enough to change her answer. How could she bring herself to use the power of the Void so freely like that? It was because of it that Himeko and now Hua…

Nope, she wouldn't think about it. She couldn't spiral all over again.

“U-Um, so…” Kiana quickly and awkwardly changed the subject. “Where’s Bronya? I would have thought she’d be here with you?”

“Ah, I’m just getting some breakfast for us,” said Seele, smiling sweetly. “We were supposed to go to the cafe later today, but with all this rain…” She sighed. “We just decided to spend that time in her room instead. Bronya’s busy setting up all the games, so I’m just getting food for us!”

As Seele continued to talk with a big smile on her face, Kiana started tuning her out.

Mentioning Bronya had absolutely been a mistake.

Those two just loved showing off to everyone just how in love and happy they were, didn’t they? That everything was just so freaking perfect for them and nothing else mattered.

They were just so insufferable.

Kiana was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when her fake smile slipped and a dark look crossed her face. She was still lost in her own mind when everything became silent.

“I-I’m sorry!”

“Huh?” Kiana snapped out of her daze to a very apologetic Seele. “W-What, why…?”

“I shouldn’t be saying things like this, not in front of you…” The younger girl averted her eyes, ashamed. “Sorry, I'm so terrible at this.”

Kiana felt a wave of guilt hit her, both for letting her thoughts stray like that and for making Seele even consider that she was in the wrong here.

“Ah, no, you don't have to apologize! If anything, I'm the one who should,” Kiana tried her best to reassure Seele, but her smile probably wasn't very convincing. “After all, it was all my fault…”

Kiana trailed off, looking away. She could feel the other girl get closer to her, a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry…” Seele spoke to her softly. “Um, if you want, you could come play with us?”

“... I'd just be in the way,” Kiana mumbled, letting out a sigh. When she realized how pitiful that sounded and Seele looked like she wanted to say something, she hastily continued, “Now that I think about it, I’m not really that hungry. I think I’ll just… go do something.”

With that, Kiana hurried out of the cafeteria, ignoring the worried look that Seele gave her on the way out.

The Herrscher of the Void truly didn’t care about whatever sad state her pitiful vessel was in. 

Whatever got her closer to death would be good for her plans, but since the Herrscher spouted some inane nonsense about making that pathetic girl feel better, she was forced to follow up on that so she didn’t arouse suspicion.

Theresa constantly hounding her was already tiring, but being forced to pamper her vessel until she stopped whining was nothing short of hell for her, and she couldn't wait to be done with it for good.

… Except, none of what they did seemed to work, and that was truly the most infuriating aspect of this whole situation.

Over the last few days, no matter what she or Theresa threw her host's way, it became abundantly obvious that their efforts were entirely fruitless. She always talked to them with that obvious forced smile and then, when she thought nobody was looking, proceeded to sulk and stare at nothing for minutes at a time.

If the Herrscher of the Void had any say on it, she would have used this to her advantage.

As it stood, however, she couldn’t really tell her vessel how pathetic she really was and that she was better off dead — not with dozens of eyes watching her every move. 

Unfortunately, that meant she had to play nice, which was becoming increasingly harder to do with how annoying her vessel was being. Just a single mention of Raiden Mei’s name was enough to make her stop functioning properly, and it became apparent she didn’t want to get better.

Not that the Herrscher of the Void cared. She’d just prefer it if her host could be miserable without dragging her into it.

On this day, it seemed her vessel stopped caring about pretenses altogether. She abruptly excused herself from her own room after Theresa and Sirin brought snacks and gifts to help cheer her up, leaving them alone.

Sirin would have been fine with staying in the room and basking in the peace and quiet, but she was still keeping up the act of being worried about that stupid girl, so she gave the depressed-looking Principal some reassuring words before she left to seemingly go after her.

Truthfully, she didn’t really care to go after her vessel. If that girl was depressed enough to throw herself off of a roof or something, even though that wouldn't actually accomplish anything with the Gem of Serenity active, that was just fine by her.

The persona she was acting as was supposed to care, though.

That really was a pain to keep up.

Sirin walked through the long, empty halls of the base. The windows were still being pelted by harsh rain and wind, the occasional thunder and lightning following behind every now and again.

The storm had been raging nearly non-stop for the last few days. It only seemed to worsen her host's mood.

No, the Herrscher of the Void didn’t care enough to try and find this idiot girl, but perhaps she could trick one of those humans into doing the job for her. As long as she pretended to be worried about her and threw in some crocodile tears, she’d be just fine.

The question, though, was who?

“Wah!”

“!?”

As she was thinking, the Herrscher of the Void was suddenly tackled by something moving at an unreasonably fast speed. The force was enough to send her off of her feet and straight onto the floor.

The impact didn’t particularly hurt, but she was still left reeling as her back hit solid ground. There was a good second or so where she legitimately considered shooting Void Lances at whoever dared to attack her.

But that was only for a moment, for the Herrscher of the Void quickly allowed logic to dictate that the girl currently laying on top of her wasn’t a threat in any regard.

“Ow…” The pink-haired hair, who for some reason had a tail and a horn on the side of her head, looked dazed for a few seconds as she jumped to her feet. She shook her head, then looked around in a panic. “Wha… wha…”

A plastic bag and a sea of spilled cherries now covered the hallway's floor.

It didn't take a genius to realize who had been carrying that.

“Roza Idiotka. This is why you should watch where you're running,” came the dull voice of an approaching cyan-haired girl, who also had a tail and a horn placed opposite to the first girl's. “Now you made a mess.”

The pink-haired girl pushed herself up, seemingly unaffected by the fall as she looked at the mess with a distraught expression. “Noooo…”

‘Did… Did they just ignore me?’

Sirin hid her shock as she sat up, observing the devastated pink-haired girl fall on her knees and weep.

She, quite understandably, stared blankly at the sight.

“Don’t mind Roza.” The blue-haired girl walked up to Sirin and offered a hand. When Sirin took it, she was quickly pulled to her feet. “She tried to steal cherries from the kitchen for herself, and now she’s spilled them all over the place.”

“Cherries…” the pink-haired girl, whose name was apparently Roza, lamented over the mess. “What am I gonna eat noooooooooow…?”

The Herrscher of the Void instantly deduced that this girl was an idiot.

“Roza Idiotka bulldozed a little girl and all she can think about is cherries. You can just wash them.” The blue-haired girl sighed and shook her head. She, at least, seemed to be the less stupid of the two. “Roza is lucky Miss Kiana wasn’t around here, or there'd be trouble.”

“Huuuh?” Roza looked up at her, who was pointing right at Sirin. The pink-haired girl gazed at Sirin, registering her existence for the first time. “Oooh, right, you’re Sirin! The one who dresses like a super duper magical girl!”

So her reputation was already known throughout the base… Wait, magical girl?!

“Roza…” The blue-haired girl sighed, glaring down at her. “You’re not even going to say sorry to Sirin?”

“Why should I?” The pink-haired girl tilted her head. “She’s fine, isn’t she?” 

Her sister simply stared.

Then she grabbed the other girl’s ear and pulled it.

“Ow! Owowowow! Lili, stop it!”

“Say sorry to Sirin.”

“But she’s—” Lili pulled harder. “Owwww! Okay, okay, I’m sorry! ”

The Herrscher of the Void just stared at the display, her outward emotions for once perfectly conveying what she felt internally.

Which was to say, complete befuddlement.

“U-Um…” she said after a moment. “It’s okay, she didn’t mean it…”

Roza sighed in relief.

“Fine.” Lili let go of her sister's ear, looking somewhat disappointed. “Miss Kiana wouldn’t have been so forgiving, I feel.”

“You two know big sis?” Sirin asked, if only to take control of the conversation before the idiocy started again.

“No, we don’t,” said the blue-haired girl, while her sibling made an effort to scoop up all the fallen cherries and put them back into the plastic bag. “Bronya told us about you, though we haven’t had the chance to really meet. I’m Liliya.” She pointed to herself, then at Roza. “That idiotka over there is Rozaliya. My sister, unfortunately.”

“Hey! Why aren’t you helping me pick these up?!” Rozaliya asked angrily, while her tail worked to pick the remaining cherries.

“Roza wanted to hog all the cherries to herself,” Liliya said simply. “Since they're all yours, it’s your mess to clean up.”

“Boo…”

“Roza being an idiotka aside…” Liliya turned her gaze back to Sirin. “Is something bothering you, Sirin? Does it have to do with Miss Kiana being moody?”

Sirin tilted her head. “Big Sis Liliya knows?”

“Hard not to hear people talking about it,” said Liliya, “especially when she was so happy before. Did something happen?”

“Well…”

After a brief explanation of the situation, and after Rozaliya finished scooping up the cherries, the two sisters looked deep in thought for a moment.

It was the idiot that spoke first, coming up with an entire list of utterly stupid gifts and surprises that all sounded like a mess to set-up.

“—and then when Kiana walks through the door, the present box will spring open and surprise her with a boxing glove! That’s when all the confetti will come in and Liliya will come in wearing a giant HOMU suit!” She rambled off on the insane plan as if it were actually something worth thinking about. “Kiana will be so surprised by it that she won’t have time to be sad anymore! Sounds great, yeah?”

“Uh-huh…” Sirin nodded along, then looked at the less insane girl. “Um, does Big Sis Liliya have any ideas?”

“Miss Kiana is heavily traumatized,” Liliya spoke bluntly, “and the distractions she was using aren't working anymore. She needed help for a while now, and this is happening because she didn't get any.”

Both Sirin and Rozaliya stared at the other girl with wide eyes.

“Unfortunately,” Liliya went on, “Miss Kiana can't talk about her problems with most people, since they're pretty much all related to sensitive information. If she talks to a therapist that can't know the details, it won't help much, and if the therapist can be told everything, they'll probably know enough from the start to be scared of the Herrscher of the Void.”

“U-Um…” Sirin tripped on her words, stunned for a moment by Liliya’s serious speech. “I-I can ask big sis to talk to Aunt Teri? She can help.”

“That won’t work.” Liliya shook her head. “Miss Theresa is family. She'll just be afraid of making things worse and avoid a bunch of subjects. That won’t solve anything.”

“Wowie, this is scary,” Rozaliya uttered, nervous. “Lili’s talking like an adult…”

Liliya ignored her. “You need someone who’s removed from the situation, but can still reach the heart of the issue.” Liliya thought for a moment. “She really doesn't have a lot of options. Maybe Seele can help?”

Sirin raised an eyebrow. “Seele?”

Liliya nodded. “She doesn’t know Miss Kiana enough for either of them to be uncomfortable talking about it, and she definitely won’t judge Miss Kiana for it.” Liliya then pointed down the hall. “Her room’s that way. If she's not there, then she's with Bronya.”

“O-Okay, I’ll go find her! Thanks!”

With that, the Herrscher of the Void quickly escaped from the strange duo.

Humans really were the most confusing insects in existence.

Rain continued to pour outside.

Kiana stared out her room's window, her hands in her pockets as she stood motionless. With Theresa busy and Sirin playing somewhere else, nobody came to bother her.

Kiana preferred it that way. It saved her the trouble of pretending.

“Give up.”

“I won't… I’m not letting you go!”

“How? You can barely stand.”

“With… my fists!”

The storm was especially brutal today. Throughout the day, the power flickered a few times. The base was taking a beating from the rain, the winds, and the lightning. She even heard Tesla complain about how they had to activate the backup generators, just to be safe.

Kiana wondered if the rain would ever let up.

“Kiana… you’re always like this. Even when you’re battered, you’d still force a smile… You shoulder everything alone, at the cost of your life…”

“Mei… This is my… mission…”

Kiana’s reflection was staring right back at her. There wasn’t any trace of a smile on her face, only a bitter scowl and a somber, lost expression. The reflection’s figure was shaking, their mouth twitching as it seemed to struggle to maintain its composure.

She looked pathetic. Broken.

“Maybe this is for the greater good…”

“Mei…?”

“But how can I pretend this is the right thing?”

“Mei… don’t…”

“I only know that deep down, the world means nothing to me without you!”

“Kiana…?”

The white-haired girl nearly sent a Void Lance out of panic.

Seele’s reflection was visible behind her, bearing a concerned expression. Kiana definitely hadn’t heard her approach.

She must have been more distracted than she thought.

“What do you want?” Kiana’s voice broke as she asked that, not even bothering to look at the girl. “Did Einstein send you again?”

She was silent for a moment, looking ashamed. “I-I’m sorry,” she said, her tone soft and apologetic. “You really don't trust me, right? N-Not that it's your fault… Um, the doctor didn't send me here this time, I promise…”

So she came here on her own. But why?

“I-It was Sirin.” Seele admitted, seeing the question all over Kiana's face. “She came to me earlier because she’s worried about you. She thought that maybe I could help somehow…”

Oh.

Great. Now she was making Sirin worry about her so much she was asking others for help. It was Kiana's job to take care of her, not the other way around.

Welt definitely shouldn’t have left the girl with her.

“This is the part where I lie through my teeth and tell you I’m fine, maybe with a big smile and a stupid laugh.” Kiana finally turned around to face Seele, looking anything but what she had just described. “But what’s the point? You wouldn’t believe me either way, right?” 

Kiana glared at Seele, who looked taken aback.

“Why are you even bothering with this?” she continued. “You’d just be better off being with Bronya than wasting your time on a mess like me, wouldn’t you?”

“Kiana—”

“Don’t even try it.” Kiana cut her off, seething in anger. “For god’s sake, do you two even look at yourselves? You’re just so happy and in love that you have to go and just shove it right in my face, acting like you don’t know! Why don’t you go ahead and kick me while I’m already down?! Hell, you’d probably enjoy it too!”

Kiana felt her anger and frustration rush out of her at once, her words biting and accusatory as she lashed out at the girl in front of her. When she was done, her face felt red and flushed with hot anger, just waiting for a retort from the other girl.

“K-Kiana… I’m so sorry...”

Nothing like that came. Seele didn’t look mad, or frustrated, or outraged by what was said to her. 

Instead, she was just sad.

It was right around then that Kiana realized who exactly she just yelled at.

Just like that, her anger faded and shame took its place.

“... No, I’m sorry.” The white-haired girl looked down at the ground. “I… I don’t know where that came from, I just…” she drifted off, too ashamed to look at the girl directly. 

God, she was such a wreck.

“You don't have to worry. I understand....” Seele's voice was soothing as she spoke to her. Kiana liked it a lot. “You're not the only one. There were so many children who were hurt just like this back in the orphanage…”

Back in Siberia, she meant. The place the Herrscher of the Void completely destroyed in another life during her rampage. One of many, just as Raven said back then.

“Have you heard the cries of those who suffered because of you? Those who were infected by the Honkai? Those grieving widows robbed of their husbands? Those children torn from their family and turned to soldiers? YOU HAVE NOT!”

Kiana shut her eyes.

“I want to help you,” Seele spoke softly. “This isn’t just because you're Bronya's friend. I just… I can’t stand watching you hurt like this. I-I know we haven’t talked much at all, but please...”

She opened her eyes, looking at Seele for a moment. The other girl looked so unsure of herself, like she was wondering if her words were even having an effect on her.

Just like Mei.

Was Kiana going to push someone else away?

“... What's your plan, exactly?” she asked, her voice betraying the uncertainty she felt. “Am I supposed to hold your hand and talk about my feelings?” 

“I-If you want to, then we can do that,” Seele offered. “We can go to my room. We’ll be alone and you can talk to me. I-Is that alright?”

Kiana sighed. 

“I guess we can try.”

‘You’re wasting your time with this, you know.’

Seele ignored the voice in her head as she took Kiana into her bedroom. She guided the white-haired girl to her bed, where Kiana sat with a lost look. 

“So, uh, where do I start?” Kiana asked as Seele took a chair and pulled it up right next to the bed. “Should I just talk about my childhood first or something?”

“I-If you want to, then we’ll start with that.” Seele gave Kiana a reassuring smile as she sat on the chair. “I’ll be right here, and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, okay?”

‘You could be having cake with Bronya instead of dealing with this trainwreck.’

‘But I want to help…’

‘For all we know, this girl could be a total nutcase!’

“Well, I guess then, I’ll start with the beginning.” Kiana looked at Seele, nervous. “Um, are you sure you won’t judge me or anything?”

Seele smiled at her. “Of course not.”

Kiana sighed, nodding and shutting her eyes. “Okay, okay… Then, I guess it all started when my old man left me…”

‘See? That's… normal.’

‘Hmph…’

“... after I became a Herrscher, killed an entire Valkyrie squad, and tore off his arm.”

Seele’s eyes widened just a little, and her other self snorted.

‘I'm so sorry, you were saying?’

Maybe she really wasn't equipped for this.

The situation was, for lack of a better word, way out of Seele’s capabilities.

“—then I broke Mei's Herrscher wing before she could kill everyone, and we ended up being taken in by Himeko and Theresa afterwards.” Kiana stared up at the roof as she spoke. “We all got enrolled into St. Freya right after that, after Theresa told me she knew where my old man was and would tell me if I became a good Valkyrie. That was a lie, go figure. We spent the last few years there before I—”

Kiana's expression darkened as she went on to recount the very worst parts of her life.

Considering everything she went through, it was a wonder that she was still sane.

Seele, of course, had no idea how to deal with any of this.

“... Then I ended up here,” Kiana finished, and looked right at Seele. “So, what do you think?”

Seele was silent for a moment as she took in everything that was said to her.

‘Yep, this girl is definitely a nutcase.’

‘D-Don’t say that!’

“It’s definitely a lot...” Seele began in a slightly nervous voice. “I didn’t think your life was so… eventful?”

Kiana chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that’s one way to describe it.” She sighed. “You know, I just realized. You’re the first one I’ve said any of this to.”

Seele was surprised by that. “Really?”

“Yeah, well… I didn’t want to back then.” Kiana admitted, looking sheepish. “When I was in St. Freya, I pretended like none of it happened. I didn’t tell a soul about those four years after dad left. Not Theresa, not Himeko, not Bronya, and not even… Mei.”

Just like that, Kiana’s good mood was tarnished, replaced by a bitter look full of regret and sadness.

Seele held out a hand to Kiana, resting it on her shoulder. “Do you… want to talk about Mei?”

Kiana gave her a very complicated look and didn’t say anything. For a moment, Seele panicked and wondered if she overstepped.

‘Idiot. You don’t rush these kinds of things.’

‘Oh…’

“Right, Mei…” Kiana sighed deeply. “I still remember when I first met her, all the way back in Nagazora. She was being bullied a lot in school and ran off one day, so I followed her all the way to the woods. She had been crying pretty hard.”

“You two met like that…?” Seele tilted her head, thoughtful. “Why was she being bullied?”

“Her dad got thrown in jail,” Kiana explained. “He was a big wig for a tech company back then. I think he got accused of some pretty heavy stuff. Anyway, that kinda… ruined Mei’s life.”

‘Mei’s father… Wait, I think Bronya talked about it…’

‘Yep, Matushka did that. Just one more life she ruined, I guess.’

“She never really talked about it,” Kiana went on, looking regretful. “Actually, we never talked about anything important, just nonsense about shopping or cooking. Mostly flirting, actually. Maybe… that’s why she never really opened up to me.” The white-haired girl was silent for a moment, looking deep in thought before letting out a sad chuckle. “Now that I think about it, we were both a mess. We just kinda… used each other as a distraction.”

Kiana looked down, sighing.

“Maybe… if I just talked to her properly instead of being a dumb, loud idiot, we could have been something more than a pair of idiots trying to delude themselves into forgetting how shitty their lives were…”

Silence fell as Kiana stopped talking, lost in the memories.

‘Tough luck, huh?’

‘Hey!’

Seele had to come up with something to talk about before the situation could worsen.

“I-I never had the chance to meet Mei, but Bronya told me all about her,” Seele suddenly said. “She sounded like a wonderful person.”

“She totally was,” Kiana agreed with a small smile. “Mei was so sweet, and gentle, and caring, and so so pretty. She was the best cook in the entire universe, and she always did these cute little things like when she played with her hair, or the way she pouted whenever she got frustrated with something, and that soft smile every time I hugged her, and the way she blushed every time we kissed…”

Kiana trailed off, her smile fading into a sad, regretful expression.

“I miss her…” She said, almost in a whisper. “I screwed up so bad, on that roof. I didn’t want her to leave me behind, I didn’t want to be alone again, even when I was being so selfish and not thinking about her feelings. I was so stupid and I drove her away. I just… I just…”

Her eyes welled up with tears, her lips trembling as her form shook.

“I just want her back…”

“...”

‘... Shit.’

Neither Seele could muster up a proper response to Kiana breaking down. Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall as she sobbed right into her hands, seemingly forgetting that the other girl was there at all.

Silently, Seele reached out her hand.

'Hey, just what are you…'

Seele pulled the girl into a full out hug, taking her trembling form into a full embrace while she brushed her hair.

“I’m so sorry…” Seele said gently to her, as a whirlwind of emotions raged inside of her. “I… I don’t know how else to say it, Kiana, I am so sorry …”

Kiana didn’t say anything, but Seele felt the girl’s hot tears staining her shirt. That spurred her to hold the girl tighter. For once, her other self was completely silent during their embrace.

It took a while before Kiana pulled herself back together, wiping the remnants of her tears with her jacket’s sleeves, and that was when Seele finally let go of her.

“How do you feel?” Seele asked softly.

“A little better, I guess…?” Kiana answered honestly. “I never really did this stuff before, so…”

“Ah, right.” Seele nodded. “Do you, um, have more you want to talk about?” 

She quickly glanced at the clock, and was a tad bit surprised that only thirty minutes had passed.

It felt far longer, considering how many unbelievable things Seele heard so far.

‘What else can this girl talk about? Surely she’s out of material by now?’

“More? Well…” Kiana thought for a moment. “I guess I didn’t really talk about Hua yet…”

“Hua?”

‘Oh, here we go…’

“She was our class monitor at St. Freya,” Kiana started explaining. “Kind of a stick in the mud, but she was a pretty great friend. Though I found out a little later that she was sent by the Overseer to spy on me…”

‘A fake friend? That sounds sad…’

‘Wait for it.’

“I also found out she’s, like, fifty thousand years old,” Kiana added casually. “She actually lived in my head for a few months after the Overseer killed her.”

“... Oh.”

Her other self groaned in her mind.

The Herrscher of the Void finally enjoyed some time alone.

Now that the annoying insects were out of her way, there was no need to pretend anymore. She didn’t have to wear a fake smile or act childish; she could drop the act for a change.

And now that she was all alone, she had the freedom to do anything she wanted!

So she was watching cartoons with a bowl of ice cream in her lap.

“...”

The realization hit her without warning right as she brought the spoon into her mouth.

What was she doing?

Nobody had prompted her to do this. There was no stupid inscect around to trick.

She just kinda wanted some ice cream, and then she remembered this one show she was curious about was supposed to be starting, and then—

Seriously, what the hell was this?

Was the Herrscher of the Void growing too used to this act?

… No. It certainly wasn't that. She refused to believe it.

What was actually happening was that she was simply taking advantage of the few distractions within her reach in order to maintain her sanity. There was nothing more to it.

Maybe she would miss some of these things after she ended the world, but so what? Accomplishing that objective was still her primary goal, and for that she had to keep herself from losing her mind amidst those infuriating insects.

So eating ice cream and watching cartoons was actually beneficial to her plans.

Yes, that sounded correct.

Now, she should go get more ice cream during the commercial break.

Before she could do so, the door suddenly opened, and Sirin saw her vessel walk in. She didn’t look like a pathetic pile of trash anymore, so something must have gone right.

Now she was back to being a normal pile of trash, at last.

“Hi, big sis!” Sirin put on a fake smile and greeted her cheerfully. Kiana looked at her and returned her own fond smile as she walked up to the couch she was sitting at.

And then she gave Sirin a hug.

“A-Ah? Big sis?”

“I know you were worried about me, and I’m sorry,” Kiana told her in a warm voice. “I’ll try to be better. Seele’s even going to help, okay? You don’t need to worry anymore. I think… I think I’ll be okay.”

Oh, this idiot was actually trying to comfort her. 

“Okay, I believe big sis,” Sirin said as she hugged Kiana back. “Do you wanna watch cartoons with me?”

The stupid girl's smile got wider. “I’d love to.”

The Herrscher of the Void had to hold back a smirk. It was such a joke that her vessel actually thought she cared about her. She couldn’t wait to see this worm's face when all her hope was gone.

Still, in the meantime, she had to play along.

Now, which flavor of ice cream should she pick next?

*

*

*

*

Under the cloak of the raging storm, the Herrscher of Thunder stood alone on a rooftop.

Violent rain and wind raged all around her, drenching the city beneath her in an endless torrent of water and lightning that went uninterrupted over the last few days.

The rain did not bother her; it was nothing but was white noise to her as she stared far past the city itself, towards the range of the mountains where she could clearly see the lights of Anti-Entropy’s base secluded within the rocky domain.

The electromagnetic field she put up kept her invisible from their sensors, but she didn’t dare to get any closer, regardless. She didn’t want to be spotted, least of all by…

“...”

She kept an eye on her through World Serpent’s spies. It was through them that she noticed how happy Kiana had become, how much she seemed to return to her old self and brim with the same happiness that lifted Mei from the darkness so long ago, in what felt like another life.

And it wasn’t because of her that Kiana was happy, but because of Sirin. The one who had tormented her life for years was now the very source of her happiness.

The irony was so thick it was painful.

The Herrscher of Thunder outstretched her hand, as if she were reaching out to the base. After the tragedy with the Herrscher of the Void, Anti-Entropy had been a place she began to call home, and now it was completely gone to her.

But it wasn’t the base she missed. 

It was for Kiana that she yearned. Every instinct in her body wanted to go back to her, to relive those memories with her, to laugh with her again, to simply be by her side just like before.

But memories were just that. Memories.

The rain washed everything below her, but it could not wash away her sins. She embraced the darkness as if it were her cloak, but it cost her everything that she once knew. She left everything behind that day, including the girl that she loved with all of her heart.

She couldn’t ever go back.

Kiana probably hated her. How could she not? She seemed so happy without Mei in her life, having filled that hole with something new, something better.

… Did Kiana even miss her?

That thought truly, deeply, pained her, but pain was all a sinner like her ever deserved.

Bzzzzt…

She felt her earpiece rumble, and Mei sighed before she answered the call. “Raven?”

“Why are you standing in the rain?”

Mei went still.

“I’m not.”

“I literally have you on my binoculars right now. Look left.”

The Herrscher of Thunder did exactly that, and her advanced sight allowed her to make out Raven’s form holding an umbrella on another rooftop, where she was indeed looking at her through a pair of binoculars.

She actually lowered the binoculars to wave at her.

Mei growled. 

“Aw, did I ruin the moment for you?” Raven teased her. “Let me guess, princess. You were probably thinking about how the rain can’t wash away all your sins, right?”

The ravenette didn't answer immediately.

She heard Raven laugh. “Are you fucking serious—”

“Is there a point to this?” Mei cut her off. “I’m not in the mood for childish antics.”

“I’m not the one brooding in the rain, ma’am,” Raven shot back, clearly still amused. “I'd just like to remind you we still have a job to do. If we miss the timing now, we'll be here for a couple more days, and I'm not sure how much longer the city can take your break-up downpours before the flooding starts. So hop to it.”

Mei groaned. “For the last time, stop calling them break-up downpours —”

Raven just hung up on her.

Mei huffed in response. Honestly, that woman…

She cast a final glance back at the base, her scowl fading away into a solemn look as she thought about the girl there once more.

“I’m sorry, Kiana…”

With those last words, the Herrscher of Thunder vanished in a bolt of lightning.