Archive of Our Own ^beta

Gao Xiaoyan is dead, to begin with. There’s no doubt about that. 

But if you think this is a story about multiple ghosts, some holiday where people celebrate the birth of a random child among the sheep by eating copious amounts of food, and deities of undetermined sex/gender blessing everyone, well, you’d be wrong.

This is the story of a ghost. 

Well, he’s not really sure he’s a ghost. 

All he knows is, he’s driving home from work, and suddenly there is the blast of a horn followed by blinding light. In that light, the only thought that occurs to Gao Xiaoyan is, “Fuck, I’m gonna die.”

And then he wakes up. Not in a hospital, as one would expect. But on a wooden bed. In a world where people call him Young Master, invade his personal space and call it ‘service’. 

Oh, Gao Xiaoyan has watched enough dramas to clock, after pinching himself half a dozen times, that he has transmigrated into the past. 

Or something like that.  

But there’s a difference between making that realisation, and having that realisation sinking in.

It really doesn’t help that, in the whole of the first day, he has no idea whose body he's landed into, and when (well, it’s obviously some time in the past, but when?? ), because as previously mentioned, everybody calls him ‘Young Master’. 

Surely he has a name, dammit? Why don’t people just use it? 

His identity only becomes clear to him the next day, when a servant – whose name Gao Xiaoyan still does not know because the dude insists on calling himself ‘your servant’, and Gao Xiaoyan, for lack of better options, has resort to summoning him with a vague ‘Uh…hey you – ‘ – comes in to announce the arrival of a “Young Master Xiao” and “Young Prince Mu”.

Huh.

Is it possible he has transmigrated not only into the past, but into the plot of a novel? 

Xiao Jingrui decides to answer that question by calling him “Yujin!” – finally solving the mystery of who the hell Gao Xiaoyan is supposed to be impersonating.

A few more sentences of conversation are exchanged and he’s sure now that the people standing before him are supposed to be Xiao Jingrui and Mu Qing. 

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe he’s watched Nirvana in Fire too many times, and now he’s in a coma in a hospital somewhere and this is some bizarre fever dream. 

Or maybe it’s real, and he’s been transported into the body of a fictional character.

Either way…

Now what?

Gao Xiaoyan Yan Yujin is sure that his lack of talkativeness right now is very much out of character, but both Jingrui and Mu Qing seem to pass it off as him being tired from the mysterious sickness that has overtaken him the last few days. 

“I’m surprised the Marquis has still not returned from the mountains,” Jingrui remarks.

“Are you?” Yujin asks noncommittally, trying to figure out exactly when in the NIF timeline he’s supposed to have landed.

“Well, I know he is often away, but words have been sent to him about your illness. I’d have thought he’d return…” Jingrui says, then trails off as he realises that he may actually be bringing Yujin pain. 

“I guess he hasn't developed to that point yet,” Yujin murmurs, more to himself than anything.

“What do you mean?” Mu Qing asks, confused.

Yujin shrugs and changes the subject.

Recovering from his mysterious illness is the easy part. The hard part is figuring out how to run this household that apparently Yan Yujin has been in charge of for years. 

Any hope that Marquis Yan will help vanishes as when the old man arrives, because while he looks relieved to see Yujin up and about again, he’s also gone by the evening after being assured that Yujin suffers no more physical complaints.

God, this must be very early. 

It is early, Yujin realises, when a few days later Jingrui asks if Yujin feels well enough to participate in the first round of Nihuang’s husband-hunting tournament.

Oh yikes on bikes, how the hell is he supposed to pretend like he even knows martial arts?

Maybe it’s just…muscle memories?

(It’s not just muscle memories.)

At least his recent illness gives him an excuse to sit the tournament out. Even then, he wonders how his absence and not getting into the final 10 might change the course of events…

Unfortunately (fortunately?), Consort Yue and Xiao Jingxuan’s plan to drug Nihuang carries out as Yujin expects. Interrupting the conversation between Mei Changsu and Nihuang that morning, it is all Yujin could do to not blurt out to both Mei Changsu and Nihuang that it’s not the Empress whom Nihuang should be on guard against. 

Like, how would he even explain how he knows anything about the dangers that awaits Nihuang when even Mei Changsu does not know fully?

So he stays silent, even though it makes him feel dirty. Complicit. 

Thankfully, events unfold exactly as he hopes they should. As he knows they should.

And really, that just brings on fresh terrors.

Because, speaking of things Mei Changsu knows…

Fuck. Jingrui’s birthday. 

He’d rather deliberately throw himself down the Lan Yuan well than watch that fiasco all over again, this time not knowing martial arts, defenceless.

Shouldn’t Gao Xiaoyan be waking up from his coma now?

Maybe if he does throw himself down a well, he’d just wake up in a coma, in a hospital somewhere. 

He doesn’t throw himself down a well. He does, however, “accidentally” pull Yuwen Nian’s mask off outside the city gate, so that Jingrui could see the resemblance between the two of them anywhere but inside Xie Manor with Xie Yu and the Grand Princess looking on. 

It’s easy enough, after, to manoeuvre two emotionally-compromised people to a private room at a teahouse (one, as far as Yujin knows, that wouldn’t know Gong Yu from Diao Chan) where Yuwen Nian can drop her bombshell with a much smaller audience. 

(Yuwen Xuan puts up a fuss at the less than-high end establishment, but in the end, his purpose apparently is to wreak havoc with Jingrui’s life, and so he eventually sits back to allow Yuwen Nian to let out all the skeletons in Xie Manor’s closets.)

(Yujin sends a silent apology to the Grand Princess, who still deserves none of this.)

Hearing Yuwen Nian explain who she is to Jingrui, Yujin can’t help but feel his blood boil at how it could have gone. How it is supposed to go, in the drama. Would it really have killed Yuwen  Nian to not blurt out this face-ruining, reputation-burning secret in front of a whole birthday party? 

Who knew rules of drama are so annoying to live with in real life? 

Also, Mei Changsu really sucks. 

Yujin manages to escort a shell-shocked Jingrui home. He planned to stay, in case Jingrui’s foolish enough to confront Marquis Xie, but they are met at the door to Jingrui’s chambers by the Grand Princess.

“Jingrui, are you well?”

Jingrui stares at her blankly, swaying on his feet.

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” Yujin says. “But you are aware that Yuwen Nian, daughter of Yuwen Lin, is in town?”

This time, it is the Grand Princess who looks ill. 

“Jingrui knows,” Yujin confirms quietly. 

The Grand Princess does not question what Jingrui knows.

Yujin only hands son to mother, and then makes his exit.

Mei Changsu can be so predictable. 

Li Gang appears before Yujin just as he is clear from the view of Xie Manor. 

“I need to speak to your Chief,” Yujin says, before Li Gang could even say anything.

The man blinks, astonished, before finally sighing and gesturing the way towards Su House.

“But how do you know?” Mei Changsu presses, for the third time.

“You are not the only one who has come back from the dead.”

Mei Changsu stares. Then, he says, “I don’t understand.”

Yujin imagines that this admission isn’t entirely voluntary on the Qilin Talent’s part. 

Yujin sighs. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is… look, I know how high the stakes are in this for you, but as a friend, as a person Jingrui looks up to, and as a…cousin, you have to have a better way of exposing Xie Yu than ruining Jingrui’s life. Actually, if you want to know what Xie Yu and Xia Jiang did twelve years ago, I can tell you. There’s no need to blow up Jingrui’s life.”

“I really don’t understand.”

If the consequences to Jingrui aren't so devastating, this gaping, confused Mei Changsu would be funny. 

Now, Yujin feels like it’s just a tragic farce. 

“I’m sorry I ruined your plans,” Yujin says, “but I cannot let it play out, considering I know how it would likely end. There are lives at stake!” 

Mei Changsu has kept his expression carefully blank as Yujin explained the source of his knowledge, and Yujin can’t quite tell if the man before him really believes him. It probably doesn’t matter if Mei Changsu really believes that Yujin transmigrated from a world where everything around them is a fictional story; what truly matters is that Mei Changsu understands there are innocent lives that will be impacted by his grand plan. Perhaps he has convinced himself that such sacrifice is necessary, but if Yujin can save some of those lives from Mei Changsu’s destructive path, he will do it. 

At the very least, Xie Qi does not deserve to be collateral to her father’s cruelty and Mei Changsu’s blind pursuit of justice. Surely justice for one should weigh the same as justice for seventy thousands?

“You said you know what Xie Yu and Xia Jiang did, twelve years ago?” Mei Changsu finally asks, not addressing the fact that Yujin just ruined his plans to ruin Jingrui’s birthday. “What happened?”

“Do you believe me?”

“I don’t know if I believe you. But I would like to hear what you think you know.”

Yujin tells him. 

“I know that your plans for Jingrui’s birthday are about more than getting this information from Xie Yu and Xia Jiang. It is about taking down Xie Yu altogether, which is necessary. But you need not do it while trampling on the Grand Princess’ heart and tearing Jingrui’s life apart.” 

And killing Xie Qi, but Yujin doesn’t say this part out loud. 

Still, Mei Changsu has the grace to look guilty at the accusations laid at his feet, at least, even though Yujin speaks it with such gentle understanding.

“Now that Jingrui knows, now that you know what I know, and assuming the Grand Princess and Jingrui have not let anything on to Xie Yu for the time being, I believe we can still put your plans to trap Xie Yu in motion. Just that this time, you will need to trust Jingrui and the Grand Princess to help you.”

“They will wish to protect what they have,” Mei Changsu says doubtfully.

“I am shocked at you, Sir Su, I would have thought you knew Jingrui better. He would not stand by and cover up Xie Yu’s role in the Chiyan case once he knew it, even if Xie Yu were his father.”

“And the Grand Princess?”

“The Grand Princess…I rather think, after all these years, the truth might be a relief.”

Mei Changsu does not look convinced. Then again, he has spent twelve years meticulously planning. Yujin does not expect that changing his mind would be the work of only an afternoon.

“You cannot do this all alone, Su-xiong,” Yujin says instead, purposefully adopting the more intimate form of address. “I know you have your Jiangzuo and your Langya, but perhaps you should learn that you have allies here, in Jinling, as well. That we have just as much to fight for, as you.”

Yujin doesn’t know what convinces Mei Changsu to let him in to help. He’s just glad that Mei Changsu did so. 

Perhaps he doesn’t really have any choice. Yujin knows what he’s about to do, and not cooperating would only give Yujin leave to disrupt the plan in even worse ways. 

It’s somewhere into Yujin’s third meeting with Mei Changsu to discuss how to take down Xie Yu while keeping the ruin to the Grand Princess and her children’s lives to a minimum, that the Gao Xiaoyan in Yujin suddenly realises - 

This is fanfiction. Goddammit he’s writing fix-it fanfiction!

The truth is, Yujin is worried that he’s bulldozing into this. 

Fanfiction as this is, Yujin’s not the writer of it, he can’t force things to turn out all right. He’s turned himself into a player dropped into the middle of a battlefield now. The moment they start changing things, his foreknowledge also begins to end, and he has no real way of predicting how the rest of the dominoes will fall. 

But he can’t leave it alone. He can’t do that to Jingrui. Not even when he understands how, to Mei Changsu, the ends justifies the means. Jingrui is only one of the first lives Mei Changsu has to ruin on his path to justice. Yujin just has to try his best to turn it into organised chaos instead. 

The day of Jingrui’s birthday party dawns, and Yan Yujin dresses as if for battle. He really doesn’t know how this night will truly go, but he has tried, at least. And he will continue to try to both support Mei Changsu fulfill the plan he has suffered so many years to bring to effect, but also keep as many innocents out of Mei Changsu’s path of destruction as possible. 

Especially Xiao Jingrui.

He doesn’t know who he’ll be, at the end of all of this, or even if Yan Yujin will survive all of this.

The only thing he knows now, is that Gao Xiaoyan owes it to Yan Yujin to protect Xiao Jingrui till the end.