Chapter Text
If there’s one thing Tommy Safety Danger Kraken Innit knows, it’s that anyone could be a conman, and so you should never trust anyone. How does he know this?
Tommy is a member of the Syndicate, an organisation known for its robberies, thefts and con artistry. He grew up knowing he would follow in the footsteps of his brothers, Wilbur and Technoblade, and his parents, Kristin and Philza. The Syndicate is the legacy of not just his family, but the legacy of his friends' families. Well, most of his friends.
One of his closest friends, Tobias ‘Tubbo’ Schlatt, can never know about the Syndicate and that Tommy and their friends Ranboo and Eryn are members of one of the most wanted organisations in the world. When Tommy came home at seven and proudly declared he had become friends with Tubbo, the son of the President Jonothan Schlatt, red flags went all through the Syndicate. Tommy quickly learnt that Tubbo can never, under any circumstances, go to his house.
Despite being thieves and con artists and, in two cases, killers, wanted with a black notice from MAHSC, they wouldn’t consider themselves evil. Criminals or terrorists, yes, but evil? They’re simply honest people trying to scrape by in a world that, in their opinion, has given up on them. Sure, there was that one time Tommy’s brother Wilbur blew up part of Capital Manor, landing him, or his alias Ozymandias of the Syndicate, on MAHSC’s most wanted list, but to them they didn’t see themselves as evil or psychopaths.
The world felt like a twisted reality and Tommy and the Syndicate only wanted to untwist it. Yes, there were other ways to do this, but criminal activity received more notoriety in the news.
They aren’t anarchists--well, not all of them. Technoblade and Niki are definitely anarchists. They just want to stop SMP and, by proxy, the world from being controlled by rich capitalists who have little to no regard for the safety, health and wellbeing of middle class citizens. People like the President of the United States of Esempi only cared about the wealthy benefactors that will fund his campaign if he runs for reelection. Not like he’d lose. President Schlatt has been in office for over twenty years, the same amount of time since the previous election.
Members of the Syndicate are incredibly tight knit. They’re more like one giant family more than anything. In fact, between the nine families that make up the Syndicate, they call each other family more often than not. The nine families of the Syndicate, the Crafts, the Beloveds, the Taken-Totems, the Manifolds, the Roses, the Hellbenders, the Las Nevadas’, the Deers and the Halos, generally just refer to each other as cousins when someone asks why they don’t look alike upon saying they’re family.
People would expect the Syndicate to have more than twenty members and that’s what police agencies around the world believe, but they don’t need to know everything.
-=+=-
Tommy walks out of history class, chatting with Ranboo, as Tubbo and Eryn approach.
“Tommy!” Tubbo exclaims. “Bad news, I can’t have you guys over this weekend. I have to go with Dad to Kinoko, but he said I could come over to your house if your parents let me.”
“You know how strict my parents are. They don’t like me having friends over,” Tommy states, the half-truth coming out easily. Tubbo looks hopefully at Ranboo.
Ranboo shakes his head. “House is getting renovated.”
Ranboo was usually the only one who needed to come up with a lie as to why Tubbo couldn’t go to his house. Eryn and Tommy always had permanent excuses with Tommy’s parents being strict and Eryn’s father had a lot of classified files around the house that Tommy and Ranboo can’t see. In reality, it was just that they all live at the Syndicate’s HQ with the rest of the Syndicate and Tubbo cannot know about the Syndicate.
Tubbo huffs a sigh as they all begin to walk out the front of their school, carrying their school blazers in their backpacks. Ranboo also has his sleeves rolled up and Eryn is loosening his tie.
“I have more freedom than you, Tommy, and I’m the fucking President’s son! I was at Capital Manor during the Capital Manor Syndicate attack and I’m still allowed to do my own thing!” Tubbo exclaims.
At the mention of the Capital Manor Syndicate attack, when Wilbur blew up part of the building before climbing onto the roof and screaming ‘ I am Ozymandias, King of Kings; look on my works, ye mighty, and despair ’ at the top of his lungs, Tommy thinks about the scars Tubbo now bears on the side of his face. Upon finding out that Tubbo was in the hospital after being caught in the explosion, Tommy had yelled at Wilbur for an hour before their parents grounded Wilbur for a year. Tommy woke up with no voice the next morning.
“Well, there’s always next weekend,” Eryn suggests.
The four talk about what their last few classes were like as they walk to the car park, where Tubbo’s personal bodyguard usually picks him up from school to take him back to the Whitehouse.
Quackity is leaning against the hood of his car, a black Range Rover SUV, and talking with a man with long and braided pink hair.
“Techno!” Tubbo exclaims as they walk over to the two men. They look over and smile at the four boys. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Hey, Big Q!” Quackity and Tubbo high five.
“What are you doing here, Blade?” Tommy asks his brother.
Techno smiles. “We have stuff to do tonight. And given that we’re doing it with Eryn and Ranboo’s families, I offered to pick them up as well. Saves you from catching the bus.”
Tubbo groans. “I wish I could do stuff like that.”
“One day, you can. But currently? You have First Son duties to do,” Quackity states. “We need to get going. Come on, kid, in the car.”
“Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!” Tubbo exclaims before climbing into the front passenger seat of the Range Rover. Quackity gives them all a mock salute before climbing into the driver’s seat and leaving.
“Alright, you three. In the car,” Techno orders.
“SHOTGUN!” Tommy exclaims.
“Toms, you know the rule,” Ranboo states.
Tommy huffs a sigh. “You get the front seat because Techno likes you more and you need extra leg room because you are slightly taller than me and have slightly longer legs.”
“Dude,” Eryn states, “He has like a good four inches on you.”
Tommy rolls his eyes and gets into the backseat of Techno’s car with Eryn as Techno and Ranboo climb into the front seat. Techno begins the drive to the Syndicate’s base of operations.
“What about Aimsey?” Ranboo inquires.
“Got sent home sick,” Techno states. “Puffy picked her up earlier.” Concern flashes across Ranboo’s face for his twin. “Don’t worry, she’s fine. She’s just going to be on bed rest for a few days.”
“What happened to her?”
“She woke up with stomach pain and part way through the day she vomited up everything she had eaten. Puffy was determining what’s wrong with her when I left.”
The two continue to talk as they drive to the Syndicate’s headquarters. The entrance to the Syndicate’s headquarters is hidden outside of the capital city of Esempi. Techno turns down a dirt road, forestry spreading far around them. The dirt road turns to a large clearings with a simple cottage and a vegetable garden. Most people think it only to be a simple cottage where Jack lives after inheriting it from his mother.
Techno presses a button on his car’s steering wheel and a section of the ground lifts up, revealing a ramp.
“Welcome home, Theseus, Janus and Lethe,” Techno states as he descends the ramp.
They reach the bottom of the ramp, revealing a large circular dome. Within the dome is twenty-six buildings--nineteen houses, the garage, the training hall, medbay, the armoury, the kitchens and what Wilbur calls the ‘concert hall for his Symphonies’-- it’s just a research and development lab. All the buildings sit in a circle at the edge of the dome. The centre is grassy, with a large paved area in the centre. The paved area hosts a long table with several seats, where the Syndicate usually has its meetings. On the curved ceiling are ceiling lights that reflect the time of day it is. In fact, the entire lighting system here is automatic. Around the dome are plants, a mix of bushes, flowerbeds and a few trees. By the bottom of the ramp is a concrete area where several cars are parked. The dome also has water, ventilation, internet, cell reception and electricity functioning through it.
“Ya know,” Eryn states as Techno parks his car, “Everytime I see the Stronghold I get a mix of like seven emotions.”
The Stronghold--that is their name for this place. Of course, when doing their not so legal activities they call it the Underworld. The Syndicate had many code words, the most common ones being Tantalus and the Underworld--Tantalus being President Schlatt.
“Tommy, Wilbur wants to see you. Ranboo, Puffy wants to see you,” Techno states. “We have a meeting in an hour. Wilbur is announcing shit.”
Tommy gives Techno a mock salute before heading over to Wilbur’s lab. He’s the only one allowed to come in without permission from Wilbur. He acts as a lab assistant to his brother, especially in the last seven months while he’s been grounded.
He closes the lab door behind him. “Wilbur? Are you here?”
He walks into the main body of his brother’s lab, white and immaculate. With high ceilings and a glass encased apple tree, cluttered desks and half made projects across the large room, Wilbur somehow found it to be the perfect space to work in. Above every single desk is a screen, displaying different information on each. Each desk is curved to fit perfectly in a ring around the edge of the room.
He walks over and stands by the glass encased apple tree. The tree is in the cylinder of perfect glass that Wilbur often uses as a whiteboard for calculations. The tree is ripe with shiny, golden apples. Not gold as in a dull yellow, but gold as shining as if it was real gold.
“HI TOMMY!”
Tommy screeches and spins around, staring at the hologram. He looks like Wilbur except for a few differences. He’s extremely desaturated, Wilbur would never wear the clothes he’s wearing and his eyes are a deep royal blue. The hologram is presented to be wearing blue Converse, a shade that matches the eyes, black jeans, a yellow sweater and a wool cardigan of that same blue of the shoes and the eyes over the sweater.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Tommy screeches.
The hologram tilts his head to the side. “You don’t know me?”
Wilbur bursts into the room a moment later, holding a knife and looking dishevelled. “WHOEVER IS TRYING TO HURT MY BROTHER I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU.” Wilbur looks between Tommy and the hologram before lowering the knife. “Oh, hey Toms. You met GHOSTBUR.”
Wilbur walks over and sits at one of his desks, placing the knife on it, as GHOSTBUR states, “Nice to meet you!”
“I’m sorry, but who the fuck is GHOSTBUR?” Tommy questions.
Wilbur turns around on his spinny chair to face Tommy. “Glorious Heroes Or Stubborn Traitors Burdened Under Repression, or simply GHOSTBUR, is an artificial intelligence I created to help me and, by proxy, the Syndicate with just about anything that’s needed of him. He’s connected to anything technology that I’ve gotten my hands on”
“And where were you?” Tommy questions.
“Uploading FRIEND to the Jubilee Line Servers.” The Jubilee Line Servers--the servers used to host all of the Syndicate’s digital data.
“You say that like I should know who FRIEND is,” Tommy snaps.
As if on cue, a sheep the same colour of GHOSTBUR’s cardigan appears beside him. GHOSTBUR crouches down and scratches the sheep’s head.
“For Reality Is Eternally Needing Defiance, or FRIEND, is the artificial intelligence I created to help me bypass firewalls and hack secure networks. I made him because I thought GHOSTBUR looked lonely.”
Tommy stares at his brother in slight shock. “You have killed people, blown up historic landmarks and buildings and almost killed my best friend yet you made an AI sheep for an AI version of you because you thought he looked lonely.”
Wilbur curls his lower lip and shrugs. “Well, yeah, I guess.”
Tommy looks over to GHOSTBUR and FRIEND. “So you two just do anything Wilbur asks?”
GHOSTBUR nods and FRIEND baas in a way that seems happy. The two holograms disappear before reappearing as a much smaller 2D version one the screen behind Wilbur. “We do anything he needs! We help him, he upgrades us! If I was human,” GHOSTBUR states. “Some would say it’s ‘slavery’-” GHOSTBUR does bunny years as he says slavery . “But we do stuff for each other. FRIEND and I getting upgrades in exchange for doing things for Wilbur is no different to him paying us to be lab assistants.”
“So you two have free will?” Tommy asks.
“I made sure of that myself,” Wilbur states. “If they want to do something, like not doing something I ask, I can’t stop them.”
“Yes, give artificial intelligence free will, nothing bad will happen!” Tommy states sarcastically.
Wilbur stands and walks over to place his hands on Tommy’s shoulders. “I make sure all artificial intelligences I make have free will…” Wilbur flicks his eyes away from Tommy’s. “Except Generation Loss but he’s still in beta.” He looks back to Tommy. “Besides, if they try to take over the planet or become the internet, I have emergency safe codes that will destroy them. I’ve seen movies, Tom. I have every eventuality planned.”
“So how many software updates will GHOSTBUR and FRIEND get?” Tommy inquires, looking at the two AI on the screen.
Wilbur turns around and arches an eyebrow. “I don’t know. Also, only GHOSTBUR will be getting updates since FRIEND is a software upgrade for GHOSTBUR,” He states.
“At the moment, I’ll probably just be an unfinished Symphony,” GHOSTBUR states.
Symphonies--those are what Wilbur calls his projects. The Golden Apple Symphony, FRIEND, GHOSTBUR, whatever the fuck Generation Loss is--they are all Wilbur’s symphonies.
“So GHOSTBUR will just be unfinished forever?”
Wilbur bites his lip slightly before turning off the screens around the room as he states, “They’re my Symphonies, Tommy, and GHOSTBUR will probably always be my great unfinished Symphony.”
“Are you presenting GHOSTBUR and FRIEND tonight or are you going to put it off again?”
“I’ve spent seven months straight down here and I have another five to go because you got me grounded-”
“You got yourself grounded when you blew up an entire chunk of Capital Manor!” Tommy exclaims.
“I am going to make sure GHOSTBUR and FRIEND are perfect. I don’t want them to malfunction when I present them,” Wilbur states.
“So… What are you presenting tonight?”
“Project Gapple is finally out of beta. Got it to work properly,” Wilbur states, scribbling something down on one of his notebooks. Tommy looks over at the apple tree in the centre of the room.
Project Gapple is the longest Symphony to go unfinished by Wilbur and the only Symphony for anyone to freely know about. It took so long to finish and get out of beta because Wilbur had never tried biotechnology before starting Project Gapple.
Tommy turns around to look at Wilbur. “How did you test it? You would have-”
“Tested it on myself,” Wilbur states, still scribbling notes.
“What the fuck, Wilbur?!” Tommy exclaims. “What did you do, cut your arm open?!”
“Project Gapple makes the body speed up the injury’s recovery process and not many people would be lining up to voluntarily cut open their skin for me to test Gapples.”
“I would’ve volunteered!”
Wilbur sighs and spins around to face Tommy. He shows Tommy the insides of his arms. “Not even a scar. That’s how well I got Gapples to work.”
“I want proof,” Tommy states.
Wilbur sighs and snatches a utility knife off of his desk. He goes to press the blade of it against his skin but Tommy stops him. Wilbur looks up at his brother, confused. “I thought you wanted proof.”
“I want proof but if you want to give my proof, we’re cutting my arm.”
Wilbur sighs once more and lifts the blade away from his wrist. He gently takes Tommy’s wrist and, in one swift motion, cuts him. There’s a slight sting to the cut and soon after blood begins to trickle down his wrist and hand.
Wilbur stands, a little too quietly, and walks over to the apple tree. He taps something onto the glass and a small section of the glass is opened. Enough for Wilbur to reach in and pick one of the golden apples. He does so before tossing it to Tommy. He catches it with his non-bleeding arm and takes a bite out of it. It’s so, so sweet and juicy. It’s almost divine .
Tommy chews and swallows the bite.
He looks down at the fruit. The insides are clear, but it definitely feels like a normal apple.
In a few minutes, the cut on his arm has healed shut with only a faint pink line.
“It’ll fade in a few days,” Wilbur states. “You can eat the rest of the apple and it’ll just increase your stamina and immune system for a bit. Useful, right?”
Tommy has another bite of the apple and chuckles. “Yeah! Is there anything Gapples can’t heal?”
Wilbur sits back on his spinny chair, moving to and fro slightly. “It can’t regrow limbs, if that’s what you’re asking. But most injuries will be healed. Time depends on what they are. Something like broken bones are complicated because you would need to make sure the bone is aligned right before eating a Gapple. However something like… paralysis? Can’t do. The main reason I created the Golden Apple Symphony was to allow us to not have to bandage our hands for days after we’ve burnt our handprints off. They’re for mostly minor injuries and most broken bones.”
“Most?”
“Broken arm? Fine. Broken femur? Fine. Broken rib? A bit more difficult but still possible. Broken neck? No can do. Mostly because the neck is a very vital thing to the human body and trying to align it correctly to be healed would risk paralysis or death of the inflicted. Also swallowing some apple with a broken neck wouldn’t be happening until after surgery and some recuperation. You want to help me finish the presentation to show the adults?”
Tommy nods eagerly.
For the next forty five minutes--or about that--Wilbur is assisted by Tommy in creating the powerpoint to present the Golden Apple Symphony, now finally completed. Wilbur also goes in depth about how Gapples work while they work on the powerpoint: the Golden Apples are laced with Wilbur’s nanotechnology robots that he made at some point(probably one of his many sleepless nights where he stays awake for three days running on caffeine) and biting the fruit allows the nanobots to enter the body. They then spread throughout the body and set about healing whatever injuries the person may have. If not, they increase the immune system’s strength and the body’s stamina before exiting the body three days later by ‘the person literally shitting them out’(Wilbur’s words, not Tommy’s). Tommy carries Wilbur’s laptop as they leave his lab and walk over to the meeting area in the centre of the Stronghold.
He quickly spots his brother and his parents. All three have their hair tied back; his mother’s is in a loose ponytail, his father’s is half up--with the blonde tied up it shows the green and white undertone stripes--and Techno has redone his braids so a third on the side is braided back with the rest is loose and pushed to the side.
The next thing Tommy notices is the lack of any of the Beloveds as well as Puffy.
“Where’s the others?” Wilbur asks.
“Medbay,” Someone else at the table states. “Dad is putting her doctorate to use and helping Aimsey with whatever is afflicting them.” The person who responded, a blonde man about Wilbur’s age, gives Tommy a mock salute. Tommy smiles at Dream.
“Can I go check on them?” Tommy questions. “Ranboo and Aimsey are half of my best friends.”
Eryn’s dad, Bad, Tommy’s parents, Philza and Kristin, as well as Callahan and Jack exchange a look. Some days Tommy is convinced that the leaders of the Syndicate all have a discrete, telepathic way to communicate.
A moment later, Callahan nods.
Tommy smiles and hands Wilbur his laptop before running towards medbay. He pushes open the door to the sitting area that reminds Tommy of doctors’ offices he’s seen. Niki and Ranboo are sitting there, side by side, looking anxious.
“There you are!” Tommy exclaims. “Are you okay? Where’s Puffy or Eret or Aimsey?”
“Eret is helping Puffy remove Aimsey’s appendix,” Niki states.
“WHAT?!”
“Aimsey has appendicitis. They’re gonna be on bed rest for a few weeks at least, doctor’s orders,” Ranboo states. “That’s why she went home early today. They should almost be done. Though he’s gonna be fine. She’s just gonna be on bedrest for a while during recovery so they also get off school.”
“Oh,” Tommy murmurs. “Well, I was sent to bring you to the meeting but if you’d like to stay, that’s okay.”
“Actually, could you stay?” Ranboo requests.
Tommy smiles softly and plops down next to Ranboo. “So, Niki, how was your day? Aside from your adopted brother having to have their appendix removed, that is.”
Tommy stays with Niki and Ranboo for another thirty minutes, making jokes to try and make them feel better, before Eret comes out, hands behind his back and hair tied in a messy bun.
“Aimsey is gonna be fine,” She states. Tommy cheers as Niki and Ranboo breathe a sigh of relief. “He can’t take guests at the moment. Still unconscious and all that. Puffy wanted me to tell you Aimsey is fine though. They should be able to have visitors once she wakes up. Puffy wants all of us to head to the meeting though.” Eret takes the hair tie out of his hair and it falls down to her shoulders before holding open the door to the medbay for them.
The four of them walk out of medbay and across to the meeting table. A holoscreen has been set up in the centre of the table. Everyone is sitting at the table except Wilbur and three others. Wilbur is standing at the end of the table, computer open and waiting. Tommy walks over and stands with him as Eret, Niki and Ranboo take their usual places at the table.
Everyone is talking among themselves as Tommy nods to Wilbur to start. “Shut up, everyone, I’ve done something fucking brilliant!” He exclaims, spreading his arms wide. Everyone goes silent and looks over at Wilbur. Callahan makes a few hand gestures in Wilbur’s direction and Tommy’s brother sighs. “Sorry, yeah. Manners. Tommy and I are presenting to you today something that I’ve decided to finally take out of beta.” Wilbur presses the spacebar on his computer and the holoscreen displays a 3D image of the Gapple Tree. “Tommy, take it away.”
“Wilbur has finally taken the Golden Apple Symphony out of beta. It allows quicker healing for many minor injuries and some major ones like broken bones. Not all broken bones though. This has been tested on both me and Wilbur and we can confirm it works.”
“And how, exactly , did you test it?” Mumza inquires.
Wilbur and Tommy exchange a look before looking around the table and the six families gathered there.
Jack Manifold, the last member of the Manifold family. Eryn and Sapnap, as well as their father Bad, make up the Halos. Clay and Noah, though more so often called Dream and Foolish, are the Taken-Totems, including their father, Puffy, though she’s currently cleaning up the medbay. Niki, Eret and Ranboo as well as a currently unconscious Aimsey(well, it’s more like Schrödinger’s Cat--Tommy doesn’t know if they’re awake until he checks on him) make up the Beloveds, though all of them were adopted by Eret’s father. Then there’s the Crafts, Tommy’s family, made up of his two brothers and his parents. Then there’s Callahan Deers, the last Deers family member left in the Syndicate. There are three other members of the Syndicate, but Hannah, Dylan--though everyone just calls him Boomer--and Quackity rarely show up to these meetings since they’re spies within federal organisations.
Everyone here is going to hate what Tommy is about to say.
“Ourselves,” Tommy whispers.
“YOURSELVES?!” Philza shouts.
Wilbur bares the inside of his forearms to everyone sitting at the table. “Gapples leave no scars. Tommy wanted proof and I tested them again to show him. Using a knife, I gave Tommy a cut on his arm and had him eat a Golden Apple. In mere minutes the bleeding cut was healed to the point of a pale pink like.” Tommy shows everyone the scar on the inside of his arm. “Don’t be mad that we had to experiment on ourselves.”
Wilbur rambles about Gapples while Tommy gets out his phone and opens notes. He types out the message how well would Gapples work on helping recovery for appendectomy ?
Wilbur looks at Tommy’s message confused before whispering. “It would speed it up, I guess. I dunno. Why do you want to know?”
Tommy looks over to Niki, Eret and Ranboo. “In theory, Golden Apples will quicken Aimsey’s recovery time.”
Wilbur looks over to Eret, Niki and Ranboo. “What does Tommy mean, in theory ?” Niki questions.
“Well, I haven’t tested to see how well it would work on appendicitis because I can’t just give someone a burst appendix. The actual burst appendix is up there with a broken neck or brain tumour and Golden Apples won’t be able to heal the actual issue but it can theoretically help with recovery time. However, I’d need Aimsey’s permission to be a lab rat,” Wilbur states. “I’m not going to nonconsensually force them to do something. That’s something Schlatt would do and we’re meant to be better than him.”
“That reminds me,” Techno states. “Quackity gave me some info earlier today.”
“You two can sit down, then,” Bad states. “Well done, you two. Golden Apples are game changers.”
Wilbur turns off the holoscreen and closes his laptop before he and Tommy sit down in their usual seats.
“So what did Mr Las Nevadas say?” Jack questions.
“In three weeks, Schlatt is going on vacation. Laxer security than usual for him, apparently. This may be an opportunity to not only implement Callahan and Jack’s computer virus but to steal the launch codes for all those classified missiles in Snowchester. He’ll be going to El Rapids.”
Wilbur glares at Techno. “Tell me you’re joking,” Wilbur snaps through gritted teeth.
“Nope. El Rapids for three days.”
Wilbur slams a hand on the table. “Oh, I am going !”
“ No , you are still grounded,” Kristin snaps. “Or are you forgetting you blew up part of a national monument, injured and-or killed several people including Tobias Schlatt, your little brother’s best friend, and landed your ass at number one on the Morality Association for Honour, Security and Cooperation’s most wanted list?! Hannah and Boomer are already working their asses off trying to stop further MAHSC investigations into the Syndicate without getting caught, especially in their position, and we don’t want people on our asses, Daedalus .”
Wilbur clenches his jaw as their mother uses his codename--while people publicly know him as Ozymandias, his Syndicate codename is actually Daedalus. He started getting called Ozymandias publicly after the whole ‘ my name is Ozymandias, king of kings ’ thing during the Capital Manor Syndicate Attack.
Wilbur sighs and slouches back in his chair. “Fine, whatever. Not like anything involving El Rapids is my dream mission , or anything,” Wilbur mumbles sarcastically.
“So who would be going?” Foolish questions.
“We’ll discuss-”
You got some sparkly abs, that beautiful facial hair
You make me wanna jump right off of that cliff over there
‘Cause you are way to handsome, yeah
TOmmy decides to start having a closer look at the table before Sapnap asks, “Is that your phone, Tommy?”
Tommy looks Sapnap straight in the eye as he states, “No.”
Callahan makes a few signs and Wilbur stares at him. “I am not translating that, Deers,” Wilbur snaps.
Philza sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just pick up the fucking call, Toms,” He states, clearly still on his exhausted Dadza arc(an arc he has been since Wilbur was grounded).
Tommy pulls his phone out of his pocket and answers it. “Hello?”
“TOMS! I can’t get a hold of Eryn or Ranboo but I just found out I have to go to El Rapids in a few weeks and Dad said I could bring you along if you wanted. So?”
“So what?”
“Do you want to come? I’d have to ask Ranboo and Eryn. It’s fine if you can’t but-”
Tommy looks his mother and father dead in the eye as he states, “Oh, trust me, I’m going . Ranboo and Eryn are gonna come too. I know they’ll say yes. What day do we leave?”
“We’d have to leave early from school on Friday 16th, around lunch, to catch the train there on time.”
“So we’d take our stuff to school?”
“Yeah.”
“We can talk more later but you better bet your ass all four of us are going. Now, not to be a fuckwad, but my dad wants me so we’ll plan more later, okay?”
“Okay. Oh! You’ve still got that thing with Eryn and Ranboo now right? Could you ask them? Or has that finished?”
“Yeah, I’ll ask them. I might force them to say yes though.”
“ Tommy .”
“Don’t say Tommy in that tone. You know the two are gonna come either way.”
Tubbo laughs. “Okay, seriously, I need to go now too. BYE!” He exclaims before ending the call.
“Where are you three going and why did you not ask any adult?” Jack questions.
“Tubbo wanted to know if Ranboo, Eryn and I would like to join him and his dad on a trip they’re taking in a few weeks to El Rapids. I said yes. A few extra inside men can’t hurt, right?” Tommy states proudly.
“No,” Kristin, Bad, Eret and Philza all snap.
“WHY?!” Eryn states. “We’ll be fine!”
“You know the rules,” Eret states. “To go on missions you have to be eighteen and have had to burn your fingerprints off.”
“But we’re not going as Theseus, Lethe and Janus. We’re going as Tommy, Ranboo and Eryn,” Ranboo says. “It’s no different to Hannah or Boomer or Quackity. Speaking of him, Quackity will be there. He can give you the reports!”
Everyone is silent.
“Tommy, you can go,” Kristin states.
Tommy’s smile is so big his cheeks hurt and Wilbur throws his arms in the air. “Oh, so I blow up one little building and kill like three people -”
“Seventeen people, brother,” Techno states, interrupting.
Wilbur shoots Techno a glare. “And I’m grounded for a year and Tommy gets to go on a mission despite being a minor! Bad’s killed people, Sapnap and Techno are both wanted for attempted murder!”
“Will, sweetie,” Kristin states, “I love you but that was unplanned. You did it without telling anyone and you hurt innocents. Sapnap and Techno and Bad make everyone aware of it before they do it and it is never innocent civilians. Just because we’re wanted internationally does not mean morals can go out the window. Secondly, this isn’t a mission. This will be Quackity on a mission to monitor the three of them while they’re with Schlatt and Tubbo in El Rapids. Besides, I trust Tommy to do the right thing.”
“I haven’t agreed to this, love,” Philza mutters.
Kristin shoots him a look and snaps, “Philza.”
“Tommy can go,” Philza says. Tommy snickers.
Eret sighs. “Ranboo, you have to behave, okay? And don’t get caught,” She states.
Ranboo, Eryn and Tommy are now all looking eagerly at Bad.
Bad looks between Eryn, Eret, Ranboo, Kristin, Philza and Tommy. “If it gets us one closer to bringing down the president and Eryn behaves, I’ll let him go.”
Eryn, Ranboo and Tommy cheer.