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It was calm, for a moment. The familiar sounds of the TARDIS, the warmth of the lights. Everything was still. Though that was the anomaly. The doctor laid still, unmoving on her makeshift bed on the floor, a vast contrast to her usual full of life self. Yaz could still feel the pure dread she felt as she watched the doctor fall, could still feel everyones eyes on her as she sprinted out the TARDIS. The fear the coursed through her like hot lava, burning her from the inside out as she carried the doctor, her doctor back into the TARDIS, not stopping, not wanting to believe that this was the end. But thats what it all came down to, time. And no one, not even the doctor herself could escape that.
Yaz just let herself stare for a little bit before the doctor began to stir.
"Did we do it?" Yaz wanted to laugh, of course that was her first question after coming back to consciousness.
"We did it, Well, you did it." The doctor began to slowly sit up, and Yaz let herself believe for a second that everything was fine. She wasnt an idiot, she knew that the doctor couldn't survive the shot the master got on her. She knew that their time was ending, far quicker than she would like.
"Where is everyone?"
"I took them home."
"Did you? Thats clever." The praise would have once sent her jumping over the moon with happiness, but the knowledge of what was to come was a big dampener, though Yaz still could feel the pride etching away at her at the doctors own pride.
"Well, Croydon, so close enough." There was a beat of silence as Yaz came to stand inf ront of the consol and the doctor made her way to her feet.
"How long was I out?"
"A while." The cloister bell began to ring and Yaz felt her heart drop. She knew what was coming next. During their brief quiet moments since the beach, the doctor had been telling her things. And from what she put together from their first meeting, it wasnt too hard to deduce what was about to happen. She tried to shut herself off from it, to push the feelings so far down that it made her numb, but the grief was all to overwhelming.
The doctor stumbled forward and Yaz caught her in her arms,
"Why's the Cloister Bell ringing?" Yaz looked down at the doctors question, the answer to her worry and greatest fear now staring at her. The golden energy surrounding the doctors hand, twisting and winding in a multitude of shades of golds, ambers and yellows.
"doctor, look at your hand." She didnt dare look at the doctors face, she knew it would break the little hold she had left over her emotions.
"No, no thats not right. I need more time." Tears began to fall, running down her cheek and splashing onto where she held the doctors hand in her own. How could she keep herself together when it felt like her heart was about to rip her apart from the inside. Her lip trembled as her fight increased to stop her few tears turning into never ending sobs. Thats all she felt like doing, curling up in the doctors side, gripping her coat, never letting go, never having to say goodbye.
"I want more time!" The cry from the doctor hurt more than a knife, the sound etching itself in her brain to the point she knew she'd be waking up from nightmares over this for years. She knew she would return home, broken and alone. Relying on her family to try and keep her together. They she would go back to the time all those years ago with her mum in her room, cradling her in her arms as she sobbed, unable to catch her breath through the haze of pain. Though this would be worse, because she wasnt just about to loose herself, she was about to loose the person her heart belonged to. Her heart and soul ripped out and shattered as one.
"You know what this means right?" She felt the doctor look up at her and she took a second before returning the gaze.
"Yeah?" She couldnt bring herself to answer, staring into the doctors eyes, having her own emotions stared back at her. All she could do was nod.
"It's alright, it's all right yaz." The doctors hand rested gently on her cheek, wiping away the tears that she had no control of. There was a moment of silence. A slow lean. A last goodbye. The doctor rubbed her thumb across Yaz's cheek before slowly tracing it across her lips. A silent question. Yaz breathed out slowly, leaning in. The doctors actions mirrored her own.
The kiss wasn't fast, or rough, or a shock, it was warm and familiar. It made time feel non existent. The doctors hands cupped her face as Yaz's landed on the doctors waist. It made her heart speed up, love and happiness drowning out the grief that had threatened to drown her moments earlier.
They eventually pulled away, the doctor choosing to rest her head against Yaz's instead of leaving her fully. The doctor knew what she had to do. Knew that she couldn't leave Yaz. Not now, not ever.
"One last trip?" The doctors breath was warm against Yaz's lips as the human was once again brought to silence, only able to answer through a single nod.
"Where would you choose? What flavour ice cream." A small laugh sounded from both of them and yaz could no longer meet the doctors eye. The two stared back down at her glowing hand and yaz slowly brought her own to hold it, to hold the doctor for what could be the last time.
They ended up sat on the TARDIS roof, ice creams in hand, though they'd soon been forgotten.
"How many times do you think you've saved earth?"
"I've lost count. But look at it, How could you not love a planet like that?"
"I dont want it to end." Yaz stared at the doctor as she watched the alien attempt to hold back her tears, a last attempt at keeping herself together for the human by her side.
"A wise person once said to me, goodbyes only hurt because what came before was so special. Oh and its been so special. You, and Graham, and Ryan, and Dan. Nobody else got to be us. Nobody else got to live our days. Nobody. And my hearts are so full of love, of all of you. Oh, i have loved being with you Yaz." The timelord took a breath, moving her hand to hold Yaz's. A single moment passed, a moment to collect her courage.
"And I have loved you, so much, more than I thought that I ever could again." They shared a glance.
"I love you too." The doctor smiled.
"I need to do this next bit alone."
"You know i'm not going to let you die alone right? Whatever happened thats what I promised." The doctor cocked her head to the side, wondering how in all the worlds she got so lucky.
"Course." Yaz squeezed her hand and the two turned towards the planet in front of them, letting themselves slip and believe for a second that everything was okay, that their time wasn't ending.
They eventually made their way off the roof and into the TARDIS.
"Yaz?"
"Yeah?" The human was already by the consol, turning back to stare at the Doctor in the doorway.
"Thank you."
"Always." The timelord smiled, joining her at the controls.
"I have a plan."
"What?"
"I've done it before, granted the circumstances were very different, but because of the forced regeneration and then degeneration I think i've confused my body enough to do it."
"Doctor what are you talking about?"
"It's something time said. I might be able to split myself. Let myself be human in one body, put all my regeneration into another."
"Doctor."
"I dont want this to end either Yaz. I dont want to loose you, I cant." A beat. Yaz nodded.
"What can I do?"
"Stay in the TARDIS, regeneration is messy anyway, this could be even messier." Yaz moved to stand by her, resting their foreheads together again,
"Be safe."
"For you, always."
The next few moments were the slowest for Yaz, seeing the glow outside the TARDIS, unaware weather the doctors plan would work or not. The slow ticking of her watch. Seconds passing by. And then, slowly, the door opened revealing two figures. Yaz could feel her heart in her throat and every thought went out the window as she sprinted towards the doctor, her doctor. She wrapped her arms around her neck, her legs around her waist as the doctor caught her, spinning her around, happy laughs errupting from both of them,
"It worked!" The human was practically beaming.
"It worked." Yaz leant down, kissing the doctor again, letting the love overwhelm her. They stayed there for a while, heart and soul connected, Yaz wrapped around the doctor as the doctor held her up.
They finally broke apart, taking a second to breath before quiet and shy laughs broke out again.
"You're human?"
"Im human." The doctor grinned, Yaz burring her head into the doctors neck and hugging her tightly, a few stray tears hidden.
"Lets go home."