Chapter Text
Everything was going well for Hunter.
His palisman had finally introduced themself, and now he could talk to them. He had gotten Titan's blood, even though he had to sneak out to get it and had had a frankly embarrassing breakdown in front of the Blight.
He walked down the castle hallway towards the portal lab, key secure in his hand and Flapjack hidden in his cloak.
He could have sworn he heard voices from inside, but he ignored them and pushed the door open anyways. Belos turned to him, annoyed.
Hunter grinned nervously. “I-I know you told me not to leave the castle, but look what I've brought you!” He held the key forward in a peace offering.
Belos snatched it out of his hand, staring at the key in silence.
His eyes slowly grew angrier as he observed the key, and Hunter had the sense that he had fucked up.
Belos eventually sighed. “Of course you can't do anything right. Just, go.”
Ouch. Hunter felt his sense of happiness puncture like a flesh balloon, slowly deflating.
He turned around to leave when Belos called out. “What's that in your cloak?”
Oh, shit. He turned around, trying to keep calm. “Uh, what?”
Belos was staring at him now. “Your cloak. I can see you're hiding something in it, red doesn't exactly blend in. So, what is it?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This was so bad. He could save this. He had a plan. He had a-
“So! Uh, Emperor Belos, my liege, as you know, uh, you have a curse, and, well, you need palismen to help you with it….”
Belos pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hunter.”
He squeaked. “Ok! So, uh, I've been trying to do my own research and so, I may, possibly, have a palisman!” He sheepishly held up Flapjack, who cheeped.
Belos stared. And stared. And kept staring. Hunter was starting to get nervous because he had never, not once, seen that expression on his Uncle's face.
Hunter's grin began to falter as Belos just kept staring at him. “Uh, Uncle?”
Belos whispered something that sounded like “Caleb?” Which, what? But then he grabbed his chest and collapsed.
“Uncle!” Hunter ran over to Belos’s crumpled form. His uncle was taking wheezing breaths, clutching his chest.
“Shit, what do I do?” His uncle, obviously, didn't answer him, and he turned towards Flapjack.
Flapjack shrugged, as much as a bird could shrug. Heart is failing. Nothing you can do.
He turned back towards his uncle, who gave one final wheeze before he stopped breathing. Desperately, he grabbed his slimy arm, searching for a pulse.
There was nothing.
He sat there in silence, unable to comprehend what just happened.
“The emperor is dead.” He said aloud.
He blinked. It didn't feel real to say. He turned towards Flapjack. “And I killed him.”
No. Flapjack cheeped, sounding proud. We killed him. Was so shocked to see us!
“Flapjack, that's not something to be proud of! The emperor is dead! Who's going to rule the isles now?”
Flapjack paused at that. Me.
Hunter groaned. “You're a palisman, you can't rule!”
Then you do it. I give advice.
“That's-”
They were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.
Quickly, Hunter teleported over to it. He opened it a crack to see it was Kikimora.
He quickly slammed it shut, groaning.
Kikimora's knocking grew louder. “Oh, Emperor! I'd like to speak with you-”
Hunter quickly slipped out the door, slamming it shut before she could see inside. “The emperor is unavailable right now.”
Kikimora grimaced at the sight of him, but kept her voice sweet. “Ah, Golden Guard. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak with the Emperor personally-”
“Anything you can say to the Emperor, you can say to me.”
At that, Kikimora scowled. “Listen, brat, I won't have you sabotaging my chances of getting i the Emperor's good graces. I demand that you let me speak with him this instant!”
Hunter slammed his staff on the floor, the jewel glowing red. “Listen, Kiki, neither of us have the time or the patience to listen to your whining. So why don't you fuck off already?”
Kikimora made several noises of inarticulate rage, before stomping off. “I'll speak to him about this insolence at the meeting!”
Oh shit. Hunter had completely forgotten about the meeting. There was a meeting with the coven heads in an hour, one the Emperor was expected to attend, except he was currently a corpse in the portal lab.
“Flapjack, what do I do? Belos is supposed to lead the coven head meeting!” He leaned against the door, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor.
Flapjack chirped at him. Hunter ignored whatever they were saying.
“I can't cast an illusion good enough to fool the coven heads, I'm not skilled enough for that. I could cancel the meeting? But that won't work forever. I can't just tell everyone he's dead, the Isles will freak out! The government is gonna collapse, what am I gonna do oh my Titan-”
Flapjack yanked on his hair. Have an idea.
“So far all your ideas have been terrible.”
Flapjack cheeped angrily at him. Not nice!
He stuck his tongue out at the bird. “You're not nice.”
Flapjack ruffled their feathers. Here is plan. Good one, too.
Flapjack told him the plan.
“That's a horrible plan. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Have anything better?
Hunter sighed. “Fuck. No.”
Flapjack chirped smugly.
Hunter pulled himself off the floor, dusting off his pants. “Ok. We have an hour before the meeting starts, so we don't have much time to make this work.” He paused, staring at the ceiling. “Oh Titan, let this work.”
___
The coven heads were all sitting in the meeting room, muttering restlessly. The meeting was supposed to start 5 minutes ago, and yet there had been no sign of the Emperor or the Golden Guard.
Finally, the door creaked open, sending all chatter to a halt. Slowly, the Emperor shuffled into the room, his weight supported by the Golden Guard. Slowly, he sat into his throne, still leaning on the Golden Guard. There was an awkward pause, before the Golden Guard cleared his throat.
“The Emperor is feeling unwell today, so he has instructed me to lead it in his place. His voice isn't working, so any questions or concerns can be addressed to me.” He shuffled the papers in his arm. “Ok, first thing on today's schedule is-”
“Ahem,” Kikimora cleared her throat. “Emperor, is there a chance I could talk to you? The Golden Guard has-”
“Kiki, I thought I told you to shut up a while ago.” Hunter scowled at her, something that was completely useless under the mask. “You can complain after the meeting.”
Kikimora huffed in her seat, but said nothing.
“Anyone else?” Hunter asked. Thankfully, no one replied. “Ok, then, let's start. First thing-”
The meeting went surprisingly well. The coven heads argued with each other as usual, but there were no actual fights. There were a few times where people asked Belos a question, and he had to lean towards his Uncle's corpse to pretend he was whispering in Hunter's ear. He was very grateful that they both wore masks. They did an excellent job of hiding how glassy his Uncle's eyes were, and how nervous Hunter actually was.
There was a moment where Belos slumped over and Hunter had to quickly shove him back into the chair, but no one noticed, too preoccupied with Adrian and Terra's screaming match.
Finally, the meeting was over. The coven heads filed out one by one, until the only one left was Kikimora.
Hunter pinched his nose, something that was rendered useless by the mask. “Kiki. What do you want.”
“You know exactly what this is about!” She pointed an accusing finger at him. “You snuck off to Eclipse Lake, and sabotaged my mission with help from the Owl Lady! You should be demoted at the very least, and arrested for your treason!”
Here was the hard part. Angling his staff so it was out of Kikimora’s view, he concentrated, making his Uncle's corpse sit up.
“Kikimora.” Hunter rasped, in a half-decent impression of his Uncle. He spoke quietly, hoping Kikimora wouldn't suspect anything. “Do you think I didn't already know that?”
“N-no, my lord! I didn't mean to assume-”
“And yet you did,” Hunter said. How the fuck was she buying this? “Perhaps you can't be trusted with these kinds of missions.”
Kikimora looked devastated. “My lord, I meant no offense! Please forgive me!”
His uncle's hand jerkily moved, gesturing her to leave. “I'll decide your punishment later. Go.”
Kikimora bowed, stammering as she quickly fled.
As soon as the doors slammed shut Hunter sighed, deactivating the spell. His uncle's corpse flopped to the floor, but he had bigger priorities right now.
Flapjack flew out of his cloak, chirping excitedly. Worked! Worked!
Hunter took his mask off, wiping the sweat off his face. “Oh my Titan, I can't believe that worked.” Wow, imitating his Uncle's voice hurt. His throat was already sore.
Flapjack jumped excitedly on his uncle. No one suspected! Safe! Safe!
Hunter squinted at the bird. “Your moral compass is extremely skewed."
Flapjack chirped angrily. Yours not much better!
Hunter sputtered at that. “What the- what does that mean?”
Flapjack chirped sadly. Is ok. Will teach boy good morals. Will help him help Isles!
Hunter groaned. “I still can't believe that fucking worked.”
Flapjack had now begun tugging on his Uncle's hair. Hunter swatted him away. “Hey! We can't damage him too much! Otherwise the coven heads will get suspicious!”
He froze. “Oh Titan, what do we do when the corpse decays? Flapjack, this was a terrible decision! We should have just come clean!”
Flapjack cheeped frantically. Then you in trouble! Anarchy! Is better this way! You can help now!
Hunter sighed. “Yeah. You're right. This is fine! It's great. I'm just-” He cut himself off to stare at where he had unceremoniously dropped his uncle's corpse on the floor. “Puppeting the Emperor's corpse around.”
He grabbed his mechanical staff, levitating his Uncle. “I'm gonna bring him back to his room. And then take a nap. A really, really long nap.”
Flapjack chirped in agreement. Boy needs rest! Rest from stress!
Thankfully, he and Flapjack managed to haul Uncle to his bedroom. His Uncle's room, not Hunters. Hunter loved his uncle, and would do a lot of things for him, but storing his corpse in Hunter's bedroom was not one of them.
Hunter made it back to his room, quickly showering before face-planting on his bed. He may have been exhausted, but not enough to fall asleep covered in abomination goop.
“Ugh.”
Flapjack chirped, and pulled on his hair. He thought about arguing, then promptly decided it wasn't worth the effort.
“I do not want to get up at 4am.”
Don't have to! Sleep in!
Hunter sighed. “I can't just sleep in, Flapjack. I have duties I need to do. I'm still the Golden Guard.”
Flapjack chirped. Don't have to!
“What? Yes I do, that's my job- ”
Can make Kiki do those instead! Mean lady.
“I can't just make Kikimora do my duties for me! As nice as that would be, she would never do that for me.”
If Emperor tells her, she will!
Hunter froze at that, taking in what Flapjack just said.
He had that power now, he realized. He was controlling the leader of the Emperor's Coven. He was basically the most powerful man on the Boiling Isles. He could tell people to do whatever he wanted, he could influence the Isles. If he wanted to start wearing bright pink fedoras, half the Isles would follow and it would become a new fashion trend. If he wanted to hoist his duties onto Kikimora and give himself a day off, he could. Who was gonna stop him? The Emperor? He was dead!
He laughed. Flapjack chirped, confused. “I can do whatever I want.” He flopped over so he was staring at the ceiling and Flapjack.
“I can do whatever I want, and no one can stop me.” He looked at Flapjack. “I can make Kikimora do all my work, I can study wild magic, I don't have to hide you from my Uncle!” He laughed hysterically. Flapjack chirped in alarm.
Hunter felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. He yawned, feeling Flapjack settle in his hair. “I can do anything..”
And with that, he drifted off to sleep.