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English
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Part 2 of The Smart!Merlin Series
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stay with me
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Published:
2022-11-19
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2,005
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The Laundry Court

Summary:

Arthur overhears a conversation between Merlin and one of the visiting Lords in his castle.

Includes lost socks, sneaking through corridors and Merlin secretly running Arthur's kingdom from the laundry room.

Part of the Smart!Merlin series.

Work Text:

It is a quiet afternoon, with both King Rodor and Princess Mithian taking in a ride in the sunshine. As much as Arthur wishes he could have joined them the mounting paperwork on his desk had got to breaking point and there was just no putting it off any longer.

The sun shines mockingly outside Arthur’s chambers as he bends his head over the latest detailed report from the leader of the guards. It’s dull, monotonous and Merlin’s constant prattling in the background isn’t helping.

“… enjoy their ride,” his servant is saying. “It was a good idea to send Elyan and Gwaine with them. They will make sure they have a good time. Hopefully that bandit problem on the lower road has been dealt with and they won’t run into any trouble. Though if they do, I am sure Elyan and Gwaine are more than a match for a few bandits. It would help showcase the quality of your knights at least…”

“Merlin,” Arthur tries to interrupt. But Merlin’s blabbering just carries on regardless. Sighing Arthur turns back to his battle report trying desperately to focus on the repetitive words.

“… and the knights certainly seem to be getting along. Although there’s no reason they shouldn’t. But you know what these knightly types are like sometimes. No sense. Few brain cells to rub together. King Rodor seems keen on peace. It is useful that Princess Mithian already knows you well, she has been vouching for you to the King…”

The chatter carries on in the background along with the general grunts and scrapes that seem to come hand in hand with Merlin cleaning the chambers. There’s another loud sound of heavy furniture moving across stone. Arthur looks up to see Merlin emerge from underneath his bed.

“Merlin, what are you doing?” Arthur tries to sound patient, but he fears the words being pushed out from behind gritted teeth are verging on snappish.

“I’m taking your clothes to the laundry,” Merlin says breezily. “But for some reason you seem incapable of putting your soiled clothes in the laundry basket I specifically commissioned for you. How on earth did your training tunic get up there?”

Arthur focuses back on the papers, ignoring the scrape of a chair on the floor as Merlin drags it over to the wardrobe. There is a clatter and rumble as Merlin climbs on top of the chair, peering on top of his wardrobe.

“Urgh it’s disgusting up here! Does no one ever clean it?”

Arthur refrains from pointing out that as his servant it is Merlin’s duty to clean the top of his wardrobe. But he fears that is a long and pointless argument that he doesn’t have time for right now.

“One of your boots is up here too,” Merlin exclaims to the room. “And… I think this is a… hey, here’s your birthday present from Queen Annis you lost- argh!”

There’s a bang and a crash as Merlin inevitably falls from the chair and lands in a heap of ungainly limbs on the floor. Arthur doesn’t even bother looking up.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Merlin says breathlessly, jumping back to his feet with a loud scuffling. Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m glad I found that. Can you imagine Queen Annis’ reaction if you had told her you had lost her birthday present? There’s a hole in this boot though… looks like a rat chewed through it. Not that there are rats in your rooms. Of course not. But it must have chewed through it before the boot got left on top of the wardrobe. Maybe you left it on the ground when we went on patrol. Maybe it wasn’t even a rat. Maybe it was a-“

“Merlin!” Arthur roars, not able to hold it in any longer. His servant starts and drops the old boot to the floor. “I am trying to concentrate! And your blabbering is not helping. Now get out!”

“Fine, fine,” Merlin sighs with a roll of his eyes. “What’s got your royal knickers in such as twist. I swear you-”

“Out!”

“I’m going!”

Arthur watches with piercing eyes as Merlin quickly picks up the laundry basket and scurries quickly from the room.

The door finally closes, and Arthur shuts his eyes, basking in the glorious silence for a moment. He opens them shortly, ready to finish this mind dumbing report, but his eyes catch on something red and glaring on his chamber floor.

He groans recognising one of his red socks that his idiot servant has obviously dropped on his way to the laundry. He looks at it, then looks back down at the report, then back at the sock.

He can’t possibly concentrate with that bright red sock right in the corner of his eyesight. With a huff of frustration Arthur stands up, grabbing the discarded sock from the floor and following after his servant.

Arthur takes a few hidden passage ways and quickly finds himself behind the tapestry which leads out onto the hallway with the royal laundry. He pokes his head out of the side of the tapestry, checking for any passers-by, when he see’s Merlin charging down the corridor toward him, hefty laundry basket in hand.

“Merlin!” a voice calls from behind Merlin. Arthur recognises young Lord Gaheris’ voice and quickly ducks back into the passage way. Gaheris is a new Lord from Nemeth as part of Arthur’s pledge for peace between the kingdoms. The idea is if they both have Lord’s in each other’s court there is less of a chance of the fear of treachery… or that is Arthur’s hope anyway. 

He peers out from behind the tapestry to see Gaheris jog to catch up with Merlin who has paused in the hallway. “Just the man. I wondered if I could have a word with you?”

“If it is while we walk. I have many duties.”

“Of course. Of course,” Gaheris nods and is quick to fall into step with Merlin who has already started walking away. “Well. I heard tell that when the new lords want to have their petition heard on court they run it by you first.”

“That isn’t exactly how it works here Gaheris,” Merlin says with a chuckle. Arthur quickly ducks his head back as the pair pass his hiding place.

“Really? Lord Ywain and Lamorak tell me differently.”

“The new lords seem to have taken it upon themselves to bring me their missives before they present them to court. To what end I am not sure. But still you come.” Merlin sighs dramatically.

The pair come to a standstill further down the corridor.

“Will you not hear me then?” Gaheris asks, a little plaintively for Arthur’s tastes. He sticks his head out from the tapestry in time to see Merlin’s shoulders slump.

“Fine,” his servant huffs. “Come with me.”

He pushes open the door on the opposite side of the hallway. It isn’t until Arthur sees the steam emitted from the open door and hears the happy greetings of the laundress from inside that he realises what room Merlin has just pushed into. He holds back his snort at the thought of the prim Lord of Nemeth hanging out in the royal laundry. He has to get a closer look at this. Sneaking from behind the tapestry Arthur walks along the hallway until he has a clear look into the room.

Gaheris has paused almost on the threshold, as if he stopped moving the moment he realised where Merlin was leading him. Merlin seems oblivious to the Lord’s discomfort. He turns from where he was sorting the laundry to give Gaheris a look.

“So try me,” he says. “Argue your case as you would in council.”

“Er... if you are busy...”

“I’m always busy Gaheris,” Merlin says, still sorting his load. A tittering giggle from inside the room draws Gaheris’ eye. Both Merlin and Arthur follow it to see he is staring at the three women at the back of the room. The humid heat of the laundry and the fact that it is never frequented by anyone but fellow servants mean that the girls of the laundry are always quite scantily dressed. Their loose dresses hang off their shoulders, exposing skin and a far amount of cleavage on the larger of the ladies. Gaheris makes a sound like his tongue got stuck at the back of his throat.

“Sorry,” Merlin says with a wave of his hand. “This is Betsy, Alice and Mariana.”

The three women look up from their tasks to send the young Lord a heated stare. The largest of the women with bouncing auburn curls smiles dangerously.

“Oh Merlin, you always bring us the best treats.”

“Only the best for you girls. Gaheris,” Merlin prompts when the Lord has done nothing but stand there, mouth agape. “I’m listening.”

Gaheris’ gaze flicks back to Merlin and he swallows, making a sound like he has just swallowed his tongue. Merlin raises another impatient eyebrow and Arthur watches the Lord visibly pull himself together and raise the parchment to read aloud.

By the time Gaheris has finished Merlin has worked his way through most of his basket and is wringing out one of Arthur’s favourite red tunics. The servant glances at the Lord to ensure he is done then gives a swift nod.

“It’s a sound policy,” he says, inspecting the seam of the tunic’s sleeve. “But you will need it to be more than that if you want it to be taken seriously be Arthur’s court. Here, hold this for me.”

Before Gaheris can object Merlin has placed the empty laundry basket in the Lord’s hands. Gaheris splutters for a moment, sagging under the weight as Merlin transfers wet clothes into the carrier.

“You need to show how it satisfies the three G’s.”

“The three G’s?”

“Is it good for the people?” Merlin explains, dropping another tunic into the basket. “Is it good for the crown? Is it good for the kingdom? If the answer to all three is yes, then it will be considered. If it is not, then…”

Gaheris nods, his gaze going distant as he contemplates the servant’s advice. Arthur watches the scene with amusement. He has never quite realised that he judges all proposals on such terms but thinking back over his decisions since becoming King he can see that he does. What astounds him is that Merlin noticed his decision-making process before he did. What astounds him further is that his Lords don’t seem to have caught up yet.

“Well,” Merlin huffs bringing Gaheris back to the present. “I’m about to start on the king’s small clothes so unless you want to stick around for that-”

“No! No. Thank you Merlin,” Gaheris says hurriedly.

Merlin smiles and takes the laden basket from the Lord’s hands and carries it to a nearby table with a lot more ease than Gaheris had.

Now that his arms are empty Gaheris fiddles with his sleeves for a moment.

“It seems I was steered right. Your advice… it gives me something to consider. Thank you… And thank you ladies.”

The youngest of the trio sends the lord an innocent smile from beneath her lashes.

“You ever need any stubborn stains working out my lord you know where to find us.”

The young lord stumbles out of the room and Arthur ducks quickly back behind his tapestry.

As soon as he is out of earshot Merlin starts chuckling and the girls join in.

“Oh Merlin you are a cad,” the auburn haired girl says as her chuckles peter out.

“Why do you put all the new Lords through that? They only want your advice.”

Arthur hears Merlin snort. “If they are desperate enough to come to a servant for advice for council they deserve a swift shock… plus it’s fun.”

A cacophony of giggles follows that with Merlin’s deep chuckle reverberating below. Arthur looks down at the forgotten red sock in his hand and decides that it can wait until later.

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