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A pair of child’s feet pounded against the ground, kicking up dirt and leaves behind their path. They didn’t risk glancing behind them, keeping forward and unsturdy. Their bangs were overgrown, constantly running into their eyes, so it made it difficult to see their way. They ran into branches, grunting desperately to get away. Cuts soon dripped blood from the scratches they gained.
Then a hole. They cried out, digging their heels into the ground before they tripped right down into it. They panted, staring deep down the cliff in the ground. Momentarily, they forgot they were running away from something. The image of them falling down this large opening swarmed passed their head. If they went down… it’d all go away. The man chasing them. The monsters in their head. They couldn’t even see the bottom. It’d all just… go away… They lifted their foot up over the hole.
“Chara!”
The child gasped and spun around, their angry father standing directly behind them. “Come on. We’re going home.” He grasped their wrist painfully, dragging them away from their escape. “If this behavior continues, I swear to God, Chara…”
“Then don’t threaten to send me away,” they said, voice tight and small.
Chara’s father twisted their wrist. “Watch your tone with me. I don’t know how to handle you. Do not pin this on me.”
Chara scoffed, letting their father drag them away.
It was close to midnight. Chara laid in their bed on their back, feet shut together and arms glued to their side. The anticipation of waiting for their father to fall asleep was agonizing.
That hole… That damn thing had been on Chara’s mind all day. Through their cheap, poor dinner and while their father scolded them once more before their bedtime. While they climbed into bed with a new bruise slowly growing on their cheek bone. That buzz they felt when they were about to jump. They wanted to feel it again.
When their clock clicked to 12:00AM, they swung their legs over their bed and quietly stepped through the fuzzy carpet. They peeked their door open, and softly went down the stairs, knowing and remembering the exact steps to avoid. Once on the base floor, they darted to the front door and ran. Ran out to the mountains. They climbed back up and to the hole. Their heart pounded so hard, Chara was afraid it was gonna pop out and start running with them.
There it was. In the same position as hours ago. Heels in dirt and one hanging over the edge. End it. End the demons and the anger and the fear pinned in them. Nobody would miss them. Nobody cared about their existence. Nobody even knew about their being. Their father didn’t know what to do with them. He probably wanted them gone as well. They’ve had enough.
So, they jumped.
They didn’t even scream. Lips tightly shut. Arms flowing out their sides. Didn’t even cry.
…
It sounds like it came from over here…
Oh!
You’ve fallen down, haven’t you?
…
Hello? Are you awake?
Chara blinked their eyes open, groaning and peeking around. Then they looked directly above them…
?!
Chara gasped and leaned away.
“Are you okay?”
A… goat? Was talking to them? They smiled nervously at Chara, holding out their paw. “Here, get up…”
Chara very, very hesitantly reached out their shaky, bleeding hands.
“Wh- What’s your name?”
Chara did not answer, only stared with wide scarlet eyes that felt like they would almost pop out and start rolling on to the ground to mix in with the yellow flowers.
“It’s… It’s okay. You must be very confused. I- … Hm. I’m not good with this kind of stuff, ha ha.”
They didn’t have to say it, Chara thought, as the goat balanced their weight foot to foot anxiously with one paw behind their back.
“Oh! I guess I should tell you who I am. I’m Asriel Dreemurr! Prince of the Underground! Wow… that’s so weird to say, heh.”
“Prince?” Chara asked, the first word they had spoken to him. Their mouth was working a little more than their head.
“Yeah! My parents are Queen Toriel and King Asgore. We can… Would you like to meet them? I can take you back there. I think… I think that would be best. I wouldn’t want to leave you here by yourself, after all.”
This goat talked a lot more than Chara can process. They blinked and focused, realizing he had asked them a question. They were about to shake their head no until they realized the reality of this situation: They jumped. For real this time. And they aren’t dead, well they don’t suppose so. They could feel that they were very much awake. Asriel, Prince Asriel apparently, seemed absolutely harmless. Chara had always been paranoid around people, never fitting in their school, always keeping silent that when they actually did speak, their voice was cracked and dry.
But the news was? Asriel wasn’t human. This fluffy little goat standing nervously in front of them didn’t frighten or make Chara feel awkward at all. Maybe a little unsure because he’s a damned goat. But… paranoid? Anxious? No, not at all.
“Are they strict?”
“Wha- What?” Asriel sputtered, taken aback from the question as he had watched Chara space out.
“Your parents. Are they strict? Mean?”
“Um, no! Not in my opinion!” Asriel said brightly. “I love them very much.”
Chara smiled softly, a strong sense of jealousy filling the holes in their heart. They turned their head to the side, letting their eyes settle on the ground. Their bangs swifted a little out of the way. “Hm. Sounds nice.”
“Oh, my gosh!” Asriel shouted.
Chara snapped their head back up, meeting Asriel’s distraught expression. “What? What is it?”
“Your eye! ” Asriel exclaimed, one finger resting against his own cheek in comparison. “Goodness, we need to heal that. Come on!” Asriel takes Chara’s hand without thinking, jerking them into a jog. They yelped, wobbling a little on their dragged feet.
“Wait!” Chara shouted, their other hand making its way to the paw wrapped around their wrist. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Of course!” Asriel said, turning his head to meet Chara’s bewildered eyes. “We just need to patch you up! It looks like it hurts…”
“I mean…” Chara softened their expression.
“Come on!” Said Asriel, tugging them harder — a little too hard, perhaps, as Chara squeaked and stumbled right into Asriel. “Oh, boy,“ he mumbled as he caught them. “Are you okay? Here, rest your arm here…” He supported half of their damaged weight. Chara suppressed an enthused chuckle, this situation was just way too weird, letting Asriel take them to his parents, where they began to feel anxiety of meeting parents of royalty…
Then soon, Asriel was leading Chara into the big golden halls of the castle.
“Wow, uh…” Chara said shakily. They rubbed their arms as if they were cold, their eyes jumping around the tall ceilings and beautiful stained glass. They felt as if they were infecting the printed tiled floor just with their small footsteps echoing.
“It’s okay! Just this way,” said Asriel, coaxing them softly with a gesture of his fluffy paw.
They rubbed their fingers over the texture of their sweater on the shoulder, their chest quivering with anxiety. “Are you sure? I mean it’s not a big deal. It’ll just-“ they waved their hand over their eye. “It’ll heal on its own. There’s nothing you can really do about it-“
“Nonsense! Where did you even get it from anyway? Did you get it from your fall?”
“I-“ Chara stopped. They almost forgot how they even got here in the first place. The whole afternoon had slipped from their mind. This goat creature had made them feel the most light they had ever felt. The bricks piling on their chest had lost half of its carry. Their head had felt more clear than a sky empty of clouds.
But… What if they told him about that evening? Their bruise throbbed as they thought about what could happen. Asriel could give them a dark look, pushing them out. “Your father hits you? Disgusting. You must have deserved this. This castle doesn’t need to get cursed by rotten children like you.” He might even cast some weird goat spell and make the bruises and scars on their back last forever.
Chara gulped a painful lump in their throat. “Yeah… Got it from the fall.”
“Oh no! Well, don’t you worry! Mom will patch you right up.” He led them through huge golden doors. It led them to a garden area, vines and flowers covering the floor. Two thrones sat ahead and Chara stuttered in their steps, the goat royals sitting ahead.
Though, Chara thought as they squinted while Asriel led them closer, they didn’t really seem to act as royal as Chara had imagined. They were laughing- not just little giggles with a hand properly covering their mouths. Full blown cackles of glee reached Chara’s ears, the woman slapping her knee lightly with her eyes squeezed shut. The man, deep, deep guffaws shaking the floor.
“Mom, Dad! Gee, what’s so funny?”
“Hee hee hee! Oh, your father. I cannot with him sometimes,” said the mother, giving the man a look. He smiled, finishing his laughter with a swipe under his eye.
“Oh, dear. You know it was funny.”
“Hmph… Whatever,” she said with a last giggle, slapping the back of her hand to his chest. She turned to Asriel. “Is there something we could help you with, sweetheart?”
Chara realized his parents had not noticed them yet as they hid behind the goat.
“Yeah! Uh…” Asriel trailed off. It was obvious he didn’t think this through. “Promise not to freak out or anything? This is super important.”
The King and Queen quickly grew serious. “Of course,” said the man. “What is it?”
“Mmm… Promise to not freak out?”
“ Asriel, ” the mother exclaimed softly, “please, what is the matter?”
“Uhh!! I might’ve! Found an injured human in the flower bed???” Asriel jumped to the side, revealing Chara with their scratches, cuts and dried blood littering their scrawny body along with their swollen cheek. They took a hard inhale through their lungs and stood frozen on the floor, their limbs feeling locked and cold.
The parents cried out in surprise, but not in the way Chara thought they did. They thought the next thing that would happen would be the goat parents growing angry, screaming at Asriel to get this filth out of their clean castle this instant!
Instead, they jumped off their thrones and kneeled down to Chara’s level. Chara yelped, moving backward into Asriel. They flinched back when they hit the young goat, getting overwhelmed quicker and quicker.
“Oh, you poor child!”
“P-Please…” mumbled Chara. They grew guilty growing overstimulated in front of them — they were only trying to help after all — but they just couldn’t help it.
“Oh, dear,” murmured the father, placing his paw on the woman’s shoulder to pull them both backward. “Please forgive us.”
“Wha-What?” Chara squeaked, their voice tight and high.
“We’re sorry for frightening you,” the woman said with her paw on her chest. “My name is Toriel, and this is Asgore.” Asgore gave a wave.
Chara suddenly noticed they were hyperventilating and turned to face Asriel, who now stood next to them. He gave them a shy smile, silently encouraging them forth. They met the goat parents’ faces again. “It’s- It’s okay. Hi.”
“Hello, my child. And what is your name?”
This is when Chara realized they never answered Asriel’s version of the question. “Um. Chara. Just Chara.”
“Chara? That’s a nice name. Wonderful to meet you,” Asgore said, his eyes wrinkling with genuineness.
“Yes, a great pleasure,” said Toriel. “Oh, you poor thing,” she muttered, her eyes glazing over Chara’s injuries.
“Yeah, um,” Asriel finally spoke up, his voice cracking slightly. “Could you heal them? It looks like it really hurts…”
“Of course, my child.” Toriel met their eyes. “I promise my healing won’t hurt at all. Would you like me to? I don’t have to if it would perhaps overwhelm you.”
Just the question alone made Chara overwhelmed. Though, they took a deep breath and nodded their head, stepping closer.
“Alright,” whispered Toriel sweetly. She lowered herself all the way to the ground, on to her knees. She closed her eyes and held her hands up in front of Chara. Her fur glowed green and Chara couldn’t help their face from contorting to amazement.
“Now, just hold still. Will you, dear?”
“Mhm,” answered Chara distractedly.
Their skin began to feel tingly, like snow if it were warm dropping on their arms and legs. Like it was melting into hot, but not burning, water dripping down over their cuts and cleaning up the blood. Their face came last, Toriel seeming to take this particular area with slow care. Chara couldn’t stop theirself when they raised their fingers up their cheekbone in curiosity. They pressed a little under the space under their eye and found there was no pain that came with the pressure. They glanced back at Toriel and saw her paws were no longer glowing.
“Is it… gone?”
Toriel blinked and nodded. “Just a mere scratch.”
“I… Thank you.”
“Of course. But—“ Toriel paused, her smile swaying, making Chara back on edge. “—where did you get such awful injuries?”
Chara started to carefully sort out their response, gathering up lies and excuses, until Asriel sprung up from behind them. “Their fall! They must’ve tripped pretty hard, huh?”
Chara gasped, placing their hand over their heart in their startlement. Toriel gave Asriel a stern look. “Asriel! Don’t frighten the poor child.”
He laughed sheepishly. “Sorry…”
Toriel stood and rested her hands properly in front of her, Asgore placing his large paw on her shoulder. “It’s quite alright. Just… we don’t want to scare them off, now do we?”
Chara watched this happy family look at each other. They did realize they were all talking about them, but they started to zone out too far. What made it so hard to have a family like this for themself? Would it be selfish to envy these creatures? Especially after the action they had done to get here in the first place?
“Though…” Toriel said loudly to get everyone’s attention, including Chara’s, who snapped back to reality with the jolt of their head. “A bruise like that on your cheek doesn’t look like it would’ve been from a fall— even so one that far.”
Chara felt called out, like a bright spotlight shining on them after they had done something incredibly wrong. So, they shrugged.
Toriel worried her eyebrows. “But— Chara…”
Asgore straightened his posture. “Come on now, honey. Let’s give them a break. They must be so tired, is that true?”
Chara blinked, realizing the man was now looking at them after he asked them a question; asking for their opinion on their own current emotions. They gripped the sleeves of their sweater and nodded.
“Then, follow me, young one. We have a room where you can rest.” The King and Queen started to head off, Asriel close behind with a skip in his step.
Chara didn’t follow. “H-Huh?” They stuttered.
The family stopped and turned back to face them again. They thought this time they must start to scold them.
Instead, Asgore made a playful face. “What, you thought we’d just leave you out here? In this strange world of goats? Ho, ho!” He smiled and extended his big paw for Chara to take. “Come, child. We will care for you.”
Chara put their hand in Asgore’s own.
.
.
.
“Can I ask you an odd question?” Chara asked as they wobbled to and fro on their heels.
Toriel closed her book and placed it in her lap, showing Chara her full attention. “Yes, what is it, my child?”
Chara felt their skin grow with warm tingles at the nickname. They hadn’t gotten used to being cared for with genuine want to do so. They smiled to themself and looked up to their caretaker with a sparkle in their eye. It had been over months that Chara had awkwardly fit themself into the Dreemurr household. They behaved as much as they knew while also trying to come off as quiet and small as possible. Though, somehow, this ongoing month, maybe the fourth one they have been here? They had lost count of time, not really believing this is real (the Dreemurrs are just so nice ) they had been opening up a little more and more. Starting to smile a little more and converse a little more with the small family.
“Do you have scissors?”
Toriel tilted her head with slight confusion. “What for?”
Chara ran a finger through their bangs. “Gettin’ a little hard to see, is all.”
“Oh, dear,” Toriel frowned and a little bit of dread dripped into Chara’s chest. As much as they tried to stop these feelings of habit, they still wanted to do anything but disappoint this happy family they had stumbled across. They cut off their eye contact with the Queen.
“Yeah…” they rocked on their feet a little more anxiously, fiddling with the sleeves of their borrowed sweater, courtesy of Asriel.
“Well, maybe I can help with that…?”
Chara didn’t know how these creatures did it. Even just a simple haircut made their chest feel bright, the deep cavities in their soul becoming filled. Toriel had told them to wait in the bathroom and she came back with a small dining chair and the scissors Chara had requested. She looked a little shy as she took the last snip and told Chara to look in the mirror behind them.
“What do you think, my child?”
“Woah.” Chara hesitantly ran their small index finger across their forehead bangs, a short look slightly above their eyebrows. Their hair was choppy, but in a stylish way, now not even touching their shoulders. Either Chara was blinded by the favor or Toriel actually knew what she was doing, even for human hair.
That night, the shower they had taken felt weird, their hair so short underneath their fingers as they washed it. They laid into bed, tucking themselves in, always surprised by the warmth they feel when they cover themself with the sheets. They sigh with content and move their head to the side to look at the other bed against the wall. Asriel must’ve felt their stare because he glanced at them and flopped over. “‘Night, Chara,” he said with a big fat grin on his face.
Chara suppressed a snort of amusement and smirked back. “Goodnight.”
If only their wishes for a good night had come true.
They thought they had forgotten the feeling of pounding their feet into the ground with the dirt entering their bare toes to escape the foes on their trail. Though, this time, they were crying, screaming, begging for help. For mercy.
“Help! Please!? Is anyone out there!?!” They gasped breaths, their lungs wheezing with sound. They sobbed drying, forbidding themself to cry. “Help me!”
Then, they slammed against a tree. They shrieked when they hit the ground. Blood immediately started to spread and drip across their face. They panted, their body moving up and down which made their bones ache.
An inhale caught in Chara’s throat as they heard footsteps hit the dry dirt on the ground behind them. They flinched, awaiting for a huge, muscular, masculine hand to clasp their shoulder to soon leave a green, painful spot. Instead, when they turned around after no hand came, it was the monster they had watched fall asleep. They had fallen asleep, hadn’t they?
“Nobody’s coming for you.”
“Wha— What?” They squeaked.
“Yeesh, Chara. What had made you think me, or even my parents, the damn King and Queen of the Underground, would take you in? You do realize we’re just finding a way to rid of you. As quickly as possible.”
Chara hyperventilated, not understanding. “That’s… That’s not right. Azzy would never curse—“
“Azzy?” Asriel let out loud, intimidating and hysterical laughs. “What did you think this was? Your found family? Someone to finally keep you safe?”
“No, I—“ Chara breathed, yet got cut off once more. Another thing Asriel wouldn’t do… But he’s here… Saying things that would only make sense. Chara’s mind was running a race track with pieces of the road missing.
“Why would a family do such a thing for you after what you’ve done? After what you did to get here in the first place ? Are you out of your mind?”
“Please… I— Asriel…”
“You look pathetic.”
“Azzy… you don’t mean it. Please! Say you don’t mean it!”
“I do. We…” Asriel's parents rose from behind him, Toriel’s smile, that of Chara remembered as gentle and warm, now stabbing the sides of the mother’s mouth, evil gleaming in her teeth. Asgore, his laugh like a hug and with cinnamon hot chocolate, now a vibrating threat, sending electric shivers up Chara’s spine. “… we mean it, foolish child. Once they find out the truth. Just you wait… Nobody will come.”
Chara awoke with a choking gasp. Cold sweat dripped down their back and a hot flush covered their cheeks. They sat in their frenzied anxiety, hyperventilating. They glanced over on the other side of the room where Asriel laid, sleeping soundly.
The panicking child suddenly leaped out of bed. They held their breath as they tip-toed out of the room; the last thing they needed to happen was wake the peaceful prince. They stepped out into the dining room, steps heading to the kitchen, water on their mind (and trying not to think about the horrors of their latest sleep).
They gasped and flinched when they discovered the room was occupied. Toriel, eyebags prominent on her face, tired fingers working on a new clothing piece. Her eyes flicked up when they heard Chara and she smiled at them.
“What are you doing up at this hour, my child?”
“I-I’m sorry, I—“
“No need for any of that, honey. Bad dream, I suppose?”
Chara was taken aback. “Ho-How…?”
“I’m not a stranger to those, I’m afraid.” She gave Chara a tired, empathetic smile.
“O-Oh…”
“Won’t you come here, my child?”
Chara swallowed and stepped over to Toriel, where she sat on the rocking chair by the fireplace. They watched as the mother moved her hands gracefully around the yarn, the two sticks settled in either of her hands.
“What are… What are you working on?”
Toriel hummed. “A sweater. You like the color?”
It was a darkish green. A forestry kind. Chara nodded. The color comforted them. Almost like where they used to hide from their father, the comfort in safety of the woods. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”
“I thought so, too.”
Chara stood on their tippy toes for a closer look. They took their finger and pointed at Toriel’s utensils. “What are the sticks for?”
Toriel giggled softly. “This is called crochet. These are called hooks, or needles. They are used to make loops… like this.” She took the yarn and looped it around the hooks. “And then to do this…” She interlocked them into stitches. “See?”
“Woah. Yeah.” Toriel continued the movement, quicker this time, amazing Chara even further. “Could I…” Chara hesitated, causing Toriel to pause and glance at them. “Could I…? Try?”
“Why, of course!” The Queen handed over to Chara the needles and yarn. She placed her paws around the human’s hands, showing them how to hold it. Chara struggled the first few bits, but soon got a routine and settled on it. Toriel watched, letting her mind wander for a few minutes. “My child?”
Chara looked up. “Yeah?”
“What did you dream about?” Chara paused, their muscles freezing. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m just… curious.”
Chara slowly continued crocheting the sweater. “I…” They swallowed and decided on their next words. “You guys aren’t… aren’t planning to send me somewhere, are you?”
“Of course not!” Concerned filled Toriel’s magenta irises. “What makes you think so?”
“Well… Um. Before I… fell down here, my— my dad was planning on sending me away. I don’t know if it was somewhere permanent, I don’t know if it was somewhere to fix me, or to just simply put me up for adoption… But I know it was to change me. Change how I act. And I… didn’t like that.”
Toriel thought about this for a few, long moments. “Did you run away? Is that how you got here?”
Chara stopped their hands again. Cold anxiety entered their chest. “Toriel?”
“Yes, my child?”
“Can I be honest with you? Like super honest?”
“Yes, of course,” she replied instantly.
“You won’t get mad or upset or send me back upstairs or kick me out, right?”
“Chara, nothing would make me do such things. You can be honest with me. I promise.”
Chara looked at their shaking hands. “I didn’t fall down here. Not- Not by accident, anyway,” they added when Toriel grew confused. They watched Toriel’s face contort into realization. “I-I hated my father. I couldn’t stand him. I couldn’t stand… anyone! And when I was running away from him, I came across the hole. I didn’t make my decision until later that night. I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. There was nothing up there! Nothing for me! I honestly still don’t think I’m alive,” they laughed, which caused tears to spring out their eyes. They wiped their face. “Which is fine. I’m happy here! I-I really am, Toriel. I’m… I’m sorry…”
Toriel jumped out of her seat and onto the floor, hugging Chara. This shocked the kid, so lost in the gesture. “No! Don’t apologize, child.” Chara felt guilt creep into their blood anyway, especially when they felt Toriel’s tears drop onto their shoulder. “ I’m sorry.”
“Wha- Why are you sorry?”
Toriel sat back up to look at Chara, settling her gentle paws on to their shoulders. “I just am, sweetheart. Nothing should make a child feel that way.”
“But… But you didn’t do any of that.”
Toriel hummed sadly. “Sometimes when people can’t apologize and acknowledge their own actions, others have to.”
“Oh…” Chara said shakily.
Toriel wrapped Chara in another hug. “I promise, my child, you are safe here. No one will send you away or even threaten it. We all care for you here. You are welcome and loved here for as long as possible, okay?”
Chara sniffled, tears they couldn’t stop pouring down their cheeks. “Okay,” they whispered.
.
.
.
Chara honestly didn’t think it would hurt so bad. They thought that their inner agony couldn’t be any worse than anything that were to happen on the outside. But, once the petals hit their stomach, the excruciating torture begun. What was even worse, was their brother dying next to them, his hold still strong on their withering body.
“Chara! Please, say something!”
They stared blankly, unable to spit out words of comfort. It should’ve only been them.
“Chara… it hurts.”
The moribund child turned their head. They blink at their brother, his face contorted into horror, grief and pain. He is suffering. He looked like a child again, a boy, when Chara had met him. Like a child when they finally opened up around him, when they admitted their hatred for humanity. When they awoke from more nightmares and letting themself cuddle into his open, awaiting arms. When Chara was crowned a child of monarchy. When they locked their foreheads, both their hands and paws placed over their newly owned locket… Best friends forever. When he was just a young child is how he looked right then, sobbing, screaming for mercy.
“Chara…”
He coughed, choking up blood. His chest quivered, the arrows shot through his body shifting with every hack.
Chara turned away, not wanting their last look of the face of the Earth to be their brother in crying agony. And it was him, Asriel Dreemurr, that Chara had lied with; in blood, with the monster’s dust blowing in their eyes, yellow petals of buttercups hanging from their lips and weapons inside of their brother’s skin, as the found siblings’ worlds had caved in on their bodies. Chara smiled, their mouth cracking against dried blood. This was what they had asked for, all those years ago when they had fallen down designingly… wasn’t it?