Chapter Text
Despite her limited experience in the past, there is a very large part of Kara that refuses to believe that another human being can make her feel as good as Lena does. Limbs still spasming, her body still throbbing and leaking, and her bottom sting tingling from the earlier spanking, Kara is overwhelmed in a way that she wishes would happen more often.
It’s almost as though her soul has briefly floated out of her bed and has made its way to heaven to reap the rewards it deserves; a temporary break from life that allows her to simply sink away and hide from anything negative that may plague her.
The moans and gasps slipping from her parted lips feel foreign, and it takes Kara a moment to even realize that the salacious whimpers are coming from her at all.
She slumps backwards with a heavy sigh, warm hands still settled on her hips to guide her into place.
The sheets feel cool against Kara's overheated skin as she lies sprawled across the bed, her breaths coming out in slow, shallow gasps from her heaving chest. One of Lena's arms wraps tightly around her waist and she pulls Kara closer, their bodies fitting perfectly together like puzzle pieces that were made especially for each other.
The air is stuffy and thick with the scent of sweat and sex, mingling with the faint traces of perfume that barely lingers on Lena's clammy pulse points.
"That was perfect," Lena whispers into Kara’s ear in a purring voice that is so low and sultry that it causes shivers to rush down Kara's spine. Soft lips leave the ghost of a tender kiss against Kara’s temple as fingertips dance across a ticklish hip, “you are perfect.”
Lena’s breath tickles the shell of Kara’s ear as she contentedly sighs, the tip of her nose nuzzling Kara’s flushed cheek as she curls herself around the adorably exhausted starfish spread out on the guest bed. “I wish I could just keep you here forever…. That the world around us would allow it.” There’s a pause and another sigh, “I don’t want you to leave after the summer, Kara.”
Kara’s breath freezes in her chest.
Those words are all she has wanted to hear for several weeks now, but now, hearing them out loud and outside of her dreams, Kara isn’t able to garner up the same excitement that she thought she would.
She cares for Lena.
She really, really does, but staying here means remaining a sordid little secret that Lena holds at arm’s length in front of anyone else who may be around.
Kara understands it, she herself is terrified that the wrong people will find out that she is a lesbian and while she doesn’t have quite as much to lose as Lena, it would ruin her life if the truth were to get out. Before, though, Kara at least had the luxury of moving around and never really letting too many get to know her. Staying here and spending her life pretending that she isn’t head over heels for Lena would be stifling for both of them and it would be selfish for either of them to choose this life.
Kara turns her head slightly, just enough to meet Lena's gaze. Their eyes lock and for a moment, no words are needed. The intensity of Lena's stare makes Kara's heart race with a mixture of desire and something deeper—something more profound.
"I don't want to leave either," Kara admits, her voice barely above a whisper. She can feel Lena's body pressed against hers, the warmth of her skin seeping through the thin fabric of her nightgown. Lena's fingers trace lazy circles on Kara's stomach, sending waves of tingling sensation through her body that settles between her thighs. “But I think I need to.”
Reality is like a splash of cold water to both of their faces.
The consequences of their relationship would not be worth even the happiest of evenings together.
“I know,” Lena murmurs, “I know it’s selfish and I won’t hate you for leaving, but can you just let me pretend for one night that we’re both gonna have everything we want in life?” She strokes Kara’s face, “that this isn’t our last night together for at least a while?”
Kara swallows thickly and unshed tears scald her eyes.
She wishes they could just ignore the rest of the world and its expectations, that some are still being imprisoned for going against societal norms when it comes to love, but it feels damn near impossible to do so. For Lena, though, Kara will pretend that everything is fine, that the two of them sharing a bed this evening and exploring each other’s body wouldn’t cause public outrage.
“Okay,” Kara nods, her voice a mere whisper, “for tonight, for you , I will.”
Their lips meet in a soft, tender kiss that’s in sharp contrast to the raw passion of earlier. It is a kiss filled with longing, with the promise of what could be when, one day, the rest of the world catches up. Lena's hands move to cup Kara's face, her thumbs brushing against her cheeks as their tongues dance intricately together, slowly, languidly.
Kara's hands slide down Lena's back to find the hem of her slip. She hesitates for a moment and glances up at Lena's face. Pretty emerald eyes are half-closed, Lena’s expression one of pure temporary contentment as Kara slips her hand beneath the soft fabric to touch the smooth skin of Lena’s back.
Lena moans softly into the kiss, her hips pressing forward instinctively as she moves to straddle Kara, Kara's body responding immediately as the heat between them flares once more. Kara breaks the kiss, allowing Lena to trail her lips along her jawline and down to her neck, full lips sucking gently at the sensitive skin covering tender pulse points.
The thin robe that is the sole barrier between their bodies is soon discarded, Kara instantly drinking in the sight of Lena’s wonderfully rounded breasts and the soft curves to her stomach, blue eyes lingering on the stretch marks that shine silver in the low light of the moon.
Lena is beautiful, perhaps more beautiful than she even realizes, and that only makes all of this worse.
Kara was only ever here for the summer and whilst Jack and Elizabeth’s premature return had brought the deadline forwards, nothing else has changed. Well, apart from the fact that she has fallen head over heels for the woman that is entirely forbidden fruit.
Even as Lena lavishes her with attention once more and draws pleasure from Kara’s body like it was the role she was born to play, Kara can’t turn her mind off.
Every touch, every gasp drawn from her heaving chest, is just a reminder of what Kara is about to lose. Of what she could have if she and Lena were lucky enough to be born in a later generation, a more progressive decade that she just knows is lying ahead of them at some point.
It’s sad, heartbreaking, really, but Kara knows she deserves so much more than being second best.
She still has her whole life spread out before her, so many experiences waiting for her, so many pools that Kara hasn’t yet dipped her toes in. It may be a difficult decision to make now, but Kara doesn’t doubt that she would one day hate herself for staying; that she and Lena would soon grow to resent each other while trapped beneath the restraints of current public opinion.
“It’s unfair,” Kara whispers once she has regained her breath, once her back hits the mattress again.
“It is.”
For a long, excruciating moment, Lena doesn’t offer more, and Kara stares up at the ceiling in defeat, accepting that this is just how their “relationship” will end once and for all. But then a heavy sigh punctures the air and Lena shifts just close enough to her that Kara feels a hint of hope seep into her bones—foolish, perhaps, but hope will always be better than bitter acceptance of an unfair world.
“One day, the world will be better,” Lena murmurs, breaking the silence. “One day, it will be kinder and people like us can live in peace, free to love whoever steals our heart without fear of repercussions. We’ll be celebrated…. Accepted for everything that we are.”
“Yeah,” Kara turns her head to face her, “that’s the dream, right?
“Not just a dream,” Lena shakes her head and frowns, “it will happen. One day, it will happen. I’m confident of that…. I fully believe it.” She sighs heavily and reaches out to gently capture Kara’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, “and when it does, find me. If you don’t have someone special in your life who makes you feel like you’re the most important girl in the world, come find me.”
“Okay,” Kara rests her forehead against Lena’s, “I promise I’ll come find you.”