Chapter Text
Ellie’s Bar & Grill was neutral ground. It always had been. Multiple underground heroes worked out of the bar, and numerous villains hung out here. No one dared cross the owner, Ellie. She wanted peace in her bar and had the shotgun to back it up.
Izuku approached the front with hands tucked in his pants pockets against the cold. It was snowing for the first time that year. A hush had fallen over the streets that only winter weather could provide. For a moment he just stood there watching his breath fog up in front of his face. Izuku liked Ellie’s bar. It was a place he could unwind, have a drink, and think. People used to bother him a few years ago when he first started showing up. After all, it was a little weird for an underage kid to be doing their homeowner in a bar, but Ellie set the ground rules. Everyone was welcome so long as they obeyed the rules. No one gave Izuku alcohol or laid a hand on him and Ellie was happy to have the quiet company.
Now, six years later, at twenty-three, people obeyed his orders above Ellie’s. Even Ellie herself would bend to his whim if he asked, but Izuku had never needed to. It was strange to think back six years. He’d graduated from high school a year early and felt adrift at seventeen with nothing to do and no family or friends. The world was cruel to quirkless kids. He’d been denied his dreams of being a hero, denied the only thing that had driven him through childhood. It thrust him into the underworld. He took on informant and analysis jobs, working his way up the ranks till he was respected and feared for what he knew.
When All for One broke back into the scene, he was the big baddy everyone feared. Even the villains in Japan shook in their boots. Izuku had been in the dark for so long, he wasn’t even sure he knew how to see in the light anymore. Until the war.
Izuku’s hand lifted to the scar that crossed from the right side of his forehead to the left side of his chin, cutting into the bridge of his nose. It was a physical reminder of the battles he’d fought. The people he’d killed.
In the end, All for One was right. You keep what you kill. A quirkless brat had hit the supervillain with a quirk suppressing dart. It was only temporary. But, by the time he was rendered incapacitated, the heroes had moved in to capture him. Izuku never gave them the chance. The same knife that slit his face open was used to slit All for One’s throat. He bled out before the heroes could save him. Izuku had no regrets.
He’d been captured by the police. No one even knew who he was, or why he was on that battlefield. They’d questioned him for hours and threatened him with jail time, which only made Izuku laugh. They called him a villain, slandered him for hours to try and coax him to speak.
But the moment the blood tests came back and proved he was quirkless, they knew they had no case against him. Anyone watching could look at the footage and call it self defense. The quirkless kid was only doing what he thought would protect himself in the moment, clearly. They knew no judge would bother with a quirkless case. The files would just disappear from the police records in days or even hours.
So, Izuku was released.
When he got back to Ellie’s that night for a drink - everyone bowed. Everyone cheered. Everyone called him the new king.
Izuku didn’t want to be a king. He wanted to be a hero.
But maybe, just maybe, he could be a hero to the villains who were mistreated and abused by the world. At the very least, he could protect them and keep them informed.
Izuku’s eyes re-focused. He was here for a reason tonight. One last puff of fogged breath and he crunched through the snow into the bar. It took only seconds for everyone in the bar to acknowledge him. Hands raised, drinks lifted, a few people even mumbled ‘evening, sir’ as he passed. A couple others stood and bowed respectfully. Ellie herself, behind the bar, offered him a short glass. It was Gin and tonic, the only thing he drank. The only thing that dulled the pain and burned his throat so bad he didn’t remember the ache of the screaming that had ruined his throat.
The table at the center back of the room was never occupied. It was Izuku’s. Unofficially. No one sat there aside from him. Ever since he was a teen. Back then, it was mostly because it was the only table large enough to house all his school work when he was studying. People respected a kid just trying to do his best in a world that did its best at striking him down. Now, it’s because they respected what he represented. Change. Power. Protection.
Sighing deeply, Izuku collapsed into the wood backed cushioned chair to wait. He was waiting for someone to arrive. He was early, because he wanted to get at least half a drink in himself before this meet up.
Izuku had been reluctant to answer, at first. But Miwa had convinced him to answer the email and try to reconnect. Izuku thought this was a bad idea. How different could things really be?
They were on opposing sides of the battle now. Izuku was actively trying to change the world, and doing so successfully he might add. While… HE was a professional hero. He was trying to put as many villains away as possible. They were dancing around each other in a non-committal fight. The heroes would put a few villains away, Izuku would get them out of jail with varying tactics and methods. Or, he’d just break them out. Or, instead a hero would vanish. They’d never disappear for long. But they always came back having decided to retire - or oddly enough - end up in politics.
Izuku was proud of the work he’d managed to do in the last six years since All for One’s death. There had been challenges, and even challengers. But he’d overcome it all.
The glass clattered to the table as the chronic pain in his hand flared up. The scars that wrapped around his palm burned viciously. Damnit, he just wanted a drink. Izuku took out his compression gloves and slipped them on, going back to his drink so he could finally have the first sip. It was longer than he had intended and he downed half the glass in one gulp.
Izuku caught a worried glance from Ellie at the bar. Izuku just held up a hand to assuage her fears and it seemed to work for the moment.
The bar door slammed open with a creaking groan, thudding against the wall and rebounding back towards the person who entered only to stop when a large black boot stepped in the way.
Winter wind carried the scent of burnt caramel towards Izuku. It was a familiar smell, the scent of his childhood. He’d never forget the smell of nitroglycerin.
Every eye in the bar turned and just as quickly they were on their feet with weapons drawn. Ellie even had her shotgun in hand before Izuku could blink. Maybe he should have forewarned them who was coming.
Izuku hadn’t expected him to show up in fucking hero costume though, geared up the nines. Did he think this was a fucking joke? Izuku sighed.
“Stand down.” He commanded softly. The patrons stopped and turned to look at Izuku who was holding up one hand in a placating manner. “He’s with me tonight.”
That was enough to cut the tension but not quell the confusion. Izuku didn’t owe them anything, or any explanation, but he might do so later simply because he didn’t like dealing with being asked the same question repeatedly.
Katsuki Bakugo, Pro Hero: Ground Zero, walked into the bar. His brazen red eyes scanned every single person who’d raised a weapon to him, including the bartender, then finally settled them on Izuku in the back. Blessedly, he didn’t speak. Izuku wasn’t sure he could stop the bar from erupting into a fight if Katsuki opened his stupid mouth and made his usual asinine remarks.
“Ellie.” Izuku called, his tone still soft. She shot one warning glance at the hero and dipped her head to Izuku. “Get him whatever he wants, on me tonight. Get the bar a round on me, as well, for good behavior.”
Everyone lifted their glasses but returned to their idle chatter. Katsuki stopped at the bar to place his order and wait for it. Once he had his drink, a rum and coke Izuku noted, he came over to Izuku’s table. He didn’t sit, so Izuku glanced up at him just to arch an eyebrow expectantly.
Katsuki finally pulled the chair out and sat down.
“Didn’t think I’d get so much trouble for my hero suit with your having invited me.”
“You could have changed your clothes.”
“They still know my face.”
“They’re just… protective of me.”
“Like you need protection, Deku.”
“Call me that again, and you will find out just how little protection I need, Katsuki.” The name was bit off his tongue with venom. It made Katsuki wince.
The two hadn’t spoken directly in years. Five to be exact. Right after Izuku was televised killing All for One, Katsuki had reached out once Izuku was freed from police custody. Apparently it was partially Katsuki’s help that had got him released so fast, since they could identify Izuku and his records. The two had gotten into a huge fight. It would likely have led to them destroying each other and the police station - had Miwa, Izuku’s best friend, and Kirishima, Katsuki’s best friend, - not pulled them both from the fight. They hadn’t spoken since.
Not until Katsuki reached out a few weeks ago with the aim of having a talk - a civil talk. He wanted to repair their broken relationship, he’d said in the email.
“Sorry, Izuku.” Izuku was shocked the man even remembered his given name anymore. It had been since… since they were five. Katsuki had started calling him ‘Deku’ when he’d been diagnosed quirkless. Useless worthless Deku.
“Gotta be a little more specific than that, Katsuki. Sorry for what?”
“I- Fuck, can you stop… that’s just… it’s weird, you calling me that.”
“What? You want me to call you Kaachan? I don’t think you’ve earned that nickname back. After all, only friends have nicknames, Katsuki. We’re not friends, are we?”
“No. Fuckin’ guess we ain’t. Look. I.. I wanted to… fuck - this isn’t easy for me, okay?”
“Yes, I’m aware you’re emotionally constipated.”
“When did you get so damn snippy?”
“When you told me to take a swan dive off the roof and All Might told me to have more realistic goals in life. But, why do you have any right to know what changed me?”
Izuku could feel how bad these words stung at Katsuki, because they stung Izuku, too. He was hurting himself to relive these memories as much as he was hurting Katsuki by reminding him.
“Izuku.” Katsuki pleaded.
“What, Katsuki?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Again, specificity is needed.”
“I’m sorry - for everything!” He gasped. “For every stupid, fucking, idiotic thing I ever did to you.” Katsuki lowered his head, his hands clutching at the spiked blonde hair still protruding from his head after all these years. Izuku noticed it was shorter than it used to be - the look suited Katsuki. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I told you… those things. I’m sorry I was a bastard, an asshole, and that I ruined our friendship.”
Izuku rolled his lower jaw. It was more than he expected. He was shocked Katsuki could actually force the words out of his throat, let alone put actual meaning and sincerity behind them, but here it was laid out for him on a platter.
“Okay. I accept your apology. But I don’t forgive you.”
“What?” Katsuki finally looked up from his hands, genuine confusion written on his face.
“I said: I do not forgive you.”
“Izuku.. I don’t..”
“Katsuki, I get it. You said you’re sorry. You’ve done your part. But you don’t always get closure. It doesn’t always wrap up nicely in a bow. Sometimes people just don’t want to forgive other people. I accept your apology, and I appreciate that it was genuine, but I don’t have it in me to forgive the things you did.”
“I never meant-”
“No, Katsuki. You didn’t mean to hurt me, but you did. Now you get to live with the shitty things you did for the rest of your life. It’s never going to be okay, what you did. I almost jumped that day - No, actually - you want the truth? - I did jump. When All Might left me on that roof, I stepped right up to the edge, and I just leaned backwards and let myself fall. For a moment, I was at peace, Katsuki. I was.” Izuku took a shuddering breath. This was difficult to speak about. He’d never told anyone outside of the person who saved him how he’d felt or what he’d done that day, in full at least.
“But someone caught me. Someone stopped me. Someone thought I was worth saving. Someone valued my life enough to stop me from ending it. You wanna know the most twisted part? It wasn’t a hero. No hero ever saved me. No friend ever put their hand out to help me when I was on your side of the fence. So you don’t get closure, because I didn’t get closure. I won’t let you have that just so you can feel better and move on with your life and forget that you hurt me.”
The bar was noisy enough that no one should hear them, unless they ended up in a shouting match. But a lot of the villains here knew Izuku had a tragic backstory, they just never asked and Izuku was grateful for that.
Katsuki had the decency to look ashamed. Izuku sighed deeply.
His throat hurt. Talking too much always brought back the ache from his time trapped in AFO’s basement being experimented on. Six months. It wasn’t till the heroes raided the warehouse in Kamino that he’d escaped when a wall to his cell caved in. No one knew he’d been there, and he’d never told anyone about the experience. Most of the villain community just thought he’d been on a deep cover mission and when he came back fucked up, they asked if he’d won. He said yes, and everyone moved on. But despite the pain in his throat, he pushed on for the sake of making his stance clear to Katsuki.
“I needed a friend. I needed a connection to keep me tethered to whatever was left of my dreams and aspirations for life. I found it, but not in the light. Not with you.”
Izuku realized, with surprise, that Katsuki was crying. He’d never once in his life seen Katsuki Bakugo, of all people, cry. It wasn’t loud or ugly, just silent tears falling down his unblinking expression.
“I’m sorry, Izuku.”
This apology felt more passionate, though just as genuine, as the last. It’s like before he understood what he’d done was wrong, but now he understood what it meant. What it had done to Izuku. Katsuki had never asked. Even in their fight after AFO died, Katsuki had never asked what Izuku felt - how he’d survived.
Izuku took a long drag of his gin and tonic, finishing the glass in only his second pull from the drink that evening. He held the glass up and tapped it with his finger. The ring on his index finger clanked against the glass. Ellie, off somewhere behind the bar, called an affirmative. She’d get him another.
“So, where do we go from here?”
Izuku wasn’t sure how to answer this question. Before tonight, he would have told anyone who said Katsuki would apologize they were absolute bat shit crazy. But here they were, sitting in a bar, having a frank and relatively polite conversation about their broken world.
A poem sparked in Izuku’s mind. Something he’d read from the pre-quirk era.
“Have you ever read poetry, Katsuki?”
Katsuki gave him a weird look, “No, why?”
“What you said just reminded me of a poem I read when I was younger. You wanna hear it? It’s called: “Incendiary Silence”.”
“Okay.”
Izuku tucked his cold and pain filled hands in his pockets again. One foot propped up on the table leg as he leaned backwards on the legs of his chair. The poem was short, but powerful:
“I decided to go to counseling with myself
The white noise machine is blaring in our ears
We can only agree to sit in silence
This is how we scream
Throwing indifferent glares like incendiaries at each other
The doctor leads us in, her office a purple perfect plastic cut out model
But there are no fake plants to hide our apologies in
No plush pillows on sunken couches to suffocate excuses
I am naked, holding the hand of my demon, I cannot escape
The doctor tells us we have to ease the fallout in our lives
To clear the field of all the poison
Eat the radiation down like a side dish at Thanksgiving
To sow new seeds in our mine field relationship
But how can anything grow in polluted soil?”
The last word died on Izuku’s tongue, dropping them back into silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, so neither man broke it for a while. Ellie stopped by to refill their drinks but said nothing when she saw them both staring at the table silently.
This is how we scream
Izuku glanced towards the front of the bar, deciding that it was sort of his job to keep track of what was happening. It was a good thing he did, he caught sight of some idiot trying to steal a drink from the bar without Ellie noticing. She was dealing with an order, making a hamburger for some random patron at the bar.
Izuku growled in the back of his throat and pushed off the table. His chair screeched on the wood. It was enough to stop half the chatter in the room and make more than a few eyes look at him. Katsuki looked up too, but Izuku didn’t see the confusion in his eyes as he waltzed across the room towards the idiot.
This guy wasn’t a regular, and a newcomer to the underground as far as Izuku knew - and Izuku knew a lot. He was fairly sure the guy’s name was Dakashima or something similar. Mental quirk; telekinesis type. The guy had pulled a beer from the fridge. It was actually pretty skilled to be able to open a fridge and extract one beer with just his quirk. Izuku would be fascinated if he wasn’t on the war path to someone who thought they could steal from Ellie - from the underground.
As Dakashima lifted the beer to his lips, Izuku’s hand snatched his wrist.
“I don’t believe I saw you pay for that.”
A couple of the regulars were on their feet. Hell, the scarred face of Dabi even appeared from the back room. Izuku had requested he be here, but that he keep to the back unless Izuku needed him. He was aware there would be no peaceful conversation with Katsuki if Dabi was seen. Not with their sordid history. But Dabi was a close friend now.
Dabi was the one who caught Izuku when he fell - no - when he jumped. Dabi was a brother, a friend, and more importantly - Izuku’s right hand when his own was in too much pain to function.
“I… I… uhm.. I was… going to?”
“That’s not it works. Put the bottle down. Leave. If I see you in here in the next two weeks, I’ll tell Ellie to shoot you on sight.” Izuku released the man’s grip and gave him the best heated glare he could muster. If Katsuki had seen it, he might have later asked if it would beat one of Eraserhead’s infamous glares.
The idiot set the beer down carefully, fearfully, and grabbed his jacket as he fled the bar. The door slammed open again, but this time it banged shut a moment later. The burst of cold air was refreshing on his lungs and suddenly Izuku wanted to go outside for a smoke. Why had he let Dabi talk him into that disgusting habit?
The bar went back to its care free atmosphere and Ellie came to collect the beer that the idiot had stolen. She’d likely drink it herself since it’d be a waste otherwise.
Izuku caught Dabi’s eye and nodded, and got a nod in reply. The scarred villain returned to the back room. Izuku returned to the table where Katsuki was just staring at him dumbfounded.
“Why did you stop him?”
“What do you mean?”
“This is a villain bar - why did you stop a villain from acting like a villain?”
Izuku blinked. After a moment, his head tilted to the side as a confused look crossed his face.
“Katsuki, this isn’t a villain bar. This is a neutral bar. No one is allowed to practice villainy or heroics in this building. That’s why I requested we meet here. That’s why everyone freaked out when you walked in with your hero suit on. It’s not common heroes come here, but maybe that’s because you all think this is a villain bar? Weird. Pretty sure it’s on the front door that this place is neutral.”
“You think we believe a sign?”
“Why wouldn’t you? In the ten years Ellie has owned this place, no crimes have ever been reported from here. Hell, you could go ask all the underground heroes who’re regulars here. Eraserhead’s a regular, even. We talk a lot. I’m surprised he’s not here tonight.”
“I asked him not to.”
“Why?”
“Because… I didn’t want him to see me like this.”
“That’s silly, Katsuki. There’s nothing wrong with showing a little emotion. Besides, a whole band of villains have now seen you cry, you think Eraserhead of all people would be bothered by that? He was your teacher for three years, wasn’t he?”
“I know, Izuku. I just- It’s complicated.”
“Okay, Katsuki.”
The blonde took a shaky breath and repeated the motions from earlier. His head dipped as his elbows hit his knees so he could grip at his short hair in what Izuku assumed was some comforting manner. Izuku didn’t want to interrupt the action since it seemed to ease the tension in Katsuki’s shoulders after a few moments. Once he seemed to be breathing normally, Izuku spoke up.
“Okay. You asked earlier where we go from here. Where do you want to go from here? What was your goal in coming here tonight?”
“I don’t think I- … had a goal? I just thought I could apologize and maybe ask you a few questions I’ve had over the years and… maybe we’d be civil with each other? I know we can’t ever be on the same side again. I’m not an idiot. I’m a hero - you’re a villain.”
“Technically I’m not.”
“What?”
“I’m quirkless, remember? Vigilantism and villainy are both legally defined as using one’s quirk to commit acts of heroism without a license, or acts of criminal activity. I can’t legally be quantified as anything other than a civilian.”
“But-”
“I’m not saying I haven’t done illegal stuff. I’m not admitting I have either. I’m just saying I can’t legally be defined as a villain or a vigilante. I’m just…Izuku.”
“That’s why you.. Never took a hero or villain name?”
“Why use one if you aren’t defining yourself as one?” Izuku shrugged. In all reality, he’d just never found something he liked well enough to go by. That and by the time he’d been truly engrossed in the world, everyone already knew him by first name and it would have been a hassle, and pretty useless, to change names.
Katsuki frowned so hard it made his forehead crease. Izuku leaned forward without warning. Katsuki leaned back, his frown shifting into something like fear or shock. The crease was still present, though. Izuku lifted his scarred hand to Katsuki’s forehead, pressing a finger into the ridge and trying to smooth it out gently.
“You’ll give yourself wrinkles if you keep frowning like that.” Izuku whispered.
The action was weirdly intimate and Izuku had no idea why he’d done it, but now that his fingers were gingerly pressing the ridges and lines from Katsuki’s face, he couldn’t stop. It was clearly soothing the hero. Katsuki’s eyes had closed and his shoulders even slumped slightly.
Blinking away whatever fog had covered his brain, Izuku pulled his hand away and leaned back in his chair to quickly tuck his hand into his pants pockets. Izuku was wearing black pinstripe suit pants. He had on his good shoes, a black leather set of loafers. His white dress shirt was covered by his vest and accompanying jacket, both matching the pinstripes of his pants. The over sized black peacoat he wore hid how thin he still was. Despite the lean muscle he’d built up, Izuku was still pretty small and thin. Dabi sometimes called him a wafer, but his favorite nickname was ‘thinmint’.
Katsuki on the other hand, was burly and broad. Even in his winter uniform, which had long sleeves and a high collar, Izuku could see the muscles along his arms and ribcage.
“I want to at least be civil, even if we can’t be friends.” Katsuki had finally opened his eyes. His pupils were blown so wide it was hard to find the red Izuku knew was there. The blonde shifted awkwardly in his seat.
Izuku debated that statement. The hard part was being civil didn’t mean much in this post-war world. It had been four years since the end of the war, and in all reality - things were basically back to normal, aside from the returning high crime rates since so many villains and criminals had been released from prison in the riots. Heroes were working overtime to try and repair the prisons in order to have a place to put all the criminals once they captured them. Izuku was fighting for change at the base levels of society. He had plans and they were working slowly, but it would still take more time.
Being civil with a hero meant nothing. It didn’t benefit him in any way, and it didn’t hinder him in any way. Though these feelings, the wanting to touch Katsuki, those might be a hindrance. Truth be told, he wanted to crush Katsuki under his thumb. He wanted to ruin him the way Katsuki had ruined Izuku. He wanted to make him gasp for air, suffocate so deeply on lust and then have it ripped away. It might not be the same, but it might be one of the only ways to equate having one’s dreams shattered to dust.
He wanted to hate fuck Katsuki and leave him wholly unsatisfied. As if that could somehow ever come close to the breathlessness he felt after letting his body lean too far off that roof until he was free falling.
“Being civil gets me nowhere, Katsuki. It provides me no benefit - though no drawback either.”
“You want a mutually agreeable arrangement, is that it?”
“I want you to understand that your actions have consequences. I refuse to give you closure, which means I am refusing myself closure. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give us a resolution. That doesn’t mean I can’t give myself revenge.”
Katsuki snorted, a disappointed smirk on his face, “Fine. Take revenge. It’s not like I could stop you and your merry band of freaks in a bar full of villains if you really wanted to kill me.”
“I never said I wanted to kill you, Katsuki.” the grin on Izuku's face was a solid 6 on the seduction scale, purposefully. That must have thrown him for a loop because Katsuki’s face flashed through like five different emotions as he shook his head.
“Then what the fuck do you want, De-” Izuku shot him a venomous look, “Izuku. What the fuck do you want?”
“Hmm…I haven’t decided yet.” He sounded so blasé it drew a snort from Katsuki’s lips. “Don’t get huffy with me, Katsuki. I have the right to want you dead for the shit you pulled. You killed me. You killed Izuku Midoriya. He died when he jumped off that roof, so don’t you dare give me that scoff as I debate what the fuck I want to do with you. Not to mention - as you said - my merry band of freaks is at my disposal right now.”
Izuku wasn’t sure which part of his remark hit Katsuki the hardest. The comment about killing Izuku or the part about him being at Izuku’s mercy for the moment. Something caught Izuku’s attention over Katsuki’s shoulder.
Dabi was leaning in the doorway to another back room. There was a huge network of tunnels and hallways in this building that most of the regulars had memorized. Dabi was no exception. He must have snaked through one to get across the bar to Izuku. The look he was giving meant something was going on Izuku needed to know about.
Shit.
“Wait here. I need to handle something.” Katsuki didn’t acknowledge his words aside from a barely audible grunt.
Izuku pushed back his chair, without sound this time, and made his way over to Dabi leisurely. The villain was standing in the dark hallway that led back to the third conference room. He knew Katsuki wouldn’t be able to see anything except Izuku’s back, but he still positioned himself so he was blocking any possible view of Dabi.
“What?” He asked.
Dabi grunted, “Shit went south with the Fifth Street heist. Berkerser got out, but Naoki and Everwind both got caught. Berserker called me in a rage begging me to get legal on the case to get them out.”
Izuku made an annoyed ‘tch’ sound with his tongue clacking the back of his teeth. Damnit. That had been a really important job, and now it was fucked.
“How’d it go south? What happened?”
“Berserker thinks there’s a leak. Said there was no possibly way the heroes could have gotten there as fast as they did. If we have a mole or a traitor, we need to handle it quickly and redo everything we have planned for the next couple months.”
“Yeah, that’s obvious. It’s fine. I have contingencies for traitors and leaks. Head back to HQ, grab Notebook #549. It has my plans for both scenarios in our structure. Also, grab Notebook #187 - that’s all my legal stuff. Get Naida on their case and fill her in, she should be able to get them off with either reduced sentences or community work. Naoki and Everwind are part timers, for a reason. I didn’t want to lose any of our pros, but I also wanted an easy out in case they got caught.”
“You got it, Thinmint. Oh, one last thing.”
“Hmm?” Izuku stopped in his half turn back towards the bar.
“Stop looking at Explo-do-brat like you wanna fuck him, it’s weird.”
Of course Dabi had seen that. Of course he’d been looking for it.
“Why?”
“Because, I caught your ass when he verbally shoved it off that roof. I can’t stand the idea of you wanting him like that. It’s fucked up.”
“Even if the only thing on my mind is to destroy him so profoundly that he understands my pain? To leave him gasping for me and be shattered by the loss like he destroyed me?”
“You really have lost it, Izu.”
“I've lost a lot of things, Dabi. But I never had my sanity to begin with.”
“Noted. I’ll get this done. You gonna be okay here with Explo-do-brat?”
“Yeah. I have the whole bar here, and Ellie can contain me if I lose my shit.”
“Good. Not that I care if you kill the brat, but - Ellie would be pissed if you got blood on her floor.”
“We can’t have that, can we?”
Izuku laughed, spinning on his heel fully and heading back into the bar. Dabi melted into the blackness in the hallway. He’d handle that shit and Izuku didn’t need to worry about it. Still. It annoyed him that the heist was botched. Those two that got caught might be part timers, low level criminals, but they weren’t green. They knew what they were doing. Berserker was right, there had to be a leak of some kind. As he walked back into the bar proper, his eyes landed on the back of Katsuki’s head.
Could Katsuki have an ulterior motive for coming here? Izuku tried not to think about that for the moment, he could find out later.
Quickly, he settled back down across from Katsuki, just as the front door opened again with another flurry of cold air and snow.
Izuku looked up purely out of habit and locked onto a familiar set of deep purple eyes. Shinsou. Izuku’s placid expression turned into a pleasant smile but Shinsou didn’t return it for once. The greenette watched as emotions flickered across the underground hero’s face. Confusion, anger, jealousy.
Oh. Oh.
Right.
Izuku sighed and motioned Shinsou to come over. Ellie got a look and she quickly prepared Shinsou’s regular order, handing it off as the underground hero passed. The man was quick to grab the glass and down at least half in one go. That wasn’t a good sign. He was likely in as good a mood as Izuku was.
“The fuck is the Explosion bastard doing here, Zu?” Izuku sighed. Yep, this wasn’t good.
Shinsou knew about Izuku’s rather painful past with Katsuki, and after he first found out, Izuku had had to hold him back from killing the pro hero. Though, the jealousy he’d seen in Shinsou’s eyes was likely from illogical fears that Izuku would leave him. No matter how Izuku reassured him, Shinsou always worried Izuku would find someone stronger, with a better quirk - his words, not Izuku’s. Izuku didn’t care about that shit, and Shinsou knew. Didn’t stop his anxious brain from formulating silly ideas.
“Who the fu-…. Wait - MindFreak? What the hell are you doing here?” Katsuki was just as blunt and aggressive. Great. Because Izuku needed his ex-best friend and his boyfriend getting into a brawl at Ellie’s.
“Katsuki is here to apologize for all his shitty actions and words to me over the years.”
Katsuki snapped at Izuku, “How is that any of this bastard’s business?”
“How is his being here any of yours?” Izuku quipped right back. “Remember, this is a neutral bar. Anyone and everyone is welcome here. I already told you a lot of underground heroes come here. Why they come here doesn’t matter.”
“Zu.”
The single syllable pried his seething eyes off Katsuki. The look in his eyes calmed when Izuku visually latched onto Shinsou, “Yes?” His voice was once again thin and frail. He was getting so tired. He hadn’t told Shinsou the full tale about his time spent in captivity, but Shinsou knew he’d had some run in’s with All for One before the war that left his body wrecked. Shinsou’s anger ebbed away when he saw the tired look in Izuku’s eyes.
“Okay.” Was all he said, resigned. Shinsou grabbed a chair from a nearby table and drug it over to sit behind the table, between Izuku and Katsuki and facing the door.
Izuku tugged his compression gloves off, setting them on the table so he could rub some heat into his joints. They ached miserably after the long walk over here and too many damn people coming in and out the front door.
“Hey Ellie.” Shinsou called. When she turned, he jerked his head towards Izuku’s hands, “Can you get the hot water bottle?”
“Sure thing, kid.” No one corrected Ellie, ever, when she addressed the younger heroes and villains like that. Even if they were all well into their mid or late twenties or thirties. Ellie was by far their elder and well respected, a mother to the community.
‘Thank you’, Izuku mouthed to Shinsou.
Izuku felt a tingle at his forehead and glanced up to find Katsuki staring at his hands with what could be mistaken for horror or perhaps disgust. It was hard to describe. If that was directed at Izuku himself or the cause of the scars wrapped around his hands, he wasn’t sure.
“What… happened?” Katsuki seemed to find some semblance of confidence for the first time since Shinsou sat down.
“It’s… a long story, Katsuki.” How many times was Izuku going to sigh tonight? Despite being annoyed with the action, he did sigh again. “One I am still not ready to talk about. The short answer is All for One did this. Not… not the day I killed him. Before that, long before that. In Kamino.”
“You were in Kamino?!” Katsuki’s words were a whispered shout, purposefully remaining low so no one would hear them but wanting to express shock and frustration. Shinsou already knew the small fragments he’d been willing to tell.
“It’s complicated. Like I said, I don’t want to speak about it.”
“Sorry.” Katsuki looked down at his hands again, but he didn’t reach for his hair this time. Maybe he was getting less nervous in Izuku’s presence. The greenette wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad thing.
Ellie walked over with a small pillow and a hot water bottle. It was one of those large square types you put on your back to sleep with. She carefully placed his scarred hand on the small pillow and set the hot water bottle over the aching digits. Izuku groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head as the heat instantly calmed the pain in his fingers.
“Thank you.” He mumbled. Ellie smiled and gave him a hair ruffle.
“Of course, boss.”
“Why does everyone call you that?” Katsuki asked with a curious tilt to his head.
“Because, Izuku basically runs the underground now.” Shinsou answered for him.
“Turns out - there’s a ‘keep what you kill’ rule I wasn’t aware of. When I killed All for One… I became the defacto leader in some weird way. It’s more of a respect thing than an actual structure of power. We don’t have ranks or leadership like the hero world does. It’s more just… who’s respected and who has power. All for One held the lion’s share of power for well over two centuries and the system almost broke down when he died.”
“But Zu took to the role like a duck to water. The underground was never as organized and peaceful as the last five years since Zu took over.” Shinsou was so proud, and it showed in his voice. Izuku smiled to him.
“That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Organized? Peaceful? Villains are still attacking us, still committing crimes. The fuck you mean peaceful?”
Izuku frowned at Katsuki’s tone. It was brash and ignorant. He hadn’t been using it the whole time he was here and Izuku really thought he’d made some progress - but apparently not.
“Katsuki. Look around. There’s very little, if any, actual crime or violence between villains or criminals themselves. That’s my power structure. Honor among thieves and all that bullshit. We work together, provide for each other, and don’t back stab and betray each other. Hence why I threw that beer thief out earlier. That’s why the last five years have been so tough for the heroes. Because we’re finally organized and not wasting time trying to fight each other for what scraps the rest of the world leaves for us. It took at least the first three years just to get everyone on board, and then the last two to root out any of the remaining outliers who stood against the idea or outright fought against it. Now that it’s working as intended-” Izuku leaned in with a dirty little smirk on his face, “We’re winning.”
Izuku turned to Shinsou and let Katsuki stew in the look of absolute horror on his face. Making an executive decision, he thought maybe he could root out a couple problems with just one request, despite the risks.
“Toshi - I’ve been told that one of our jobs went south, and the likely cause is a leak or a traitor getting word to the heroes. Can you do some digging for me? Anyone worth their salt in this community wouldn’t dare lie to you.” They’d also let him use his quirk unfettered. The villain community all loved MindJack’s quirk, it was very suited for the underground. Though, most of them wished he’d join their side. He did, in some cases work for Izuku when needed. If only to keep the balance of the sides fair. This was one of those situations.
“Sure. Any ideas who?”
“No. Get with Dabi tomorrow. He’s heading up the investigation for now and getting legal involved.”
“Got it.”
“The fuck you think you’re doing, MindFreak? Did your dumbass self forget you’re a hero?”
“It’s MindJACK, you asshole, and no, I didn’t forget that. Unlike SOME people, I actually act like a hero instead of cussing out every ‘extra’ I come across. You don’t get how the underground works. You aren’t part of this world, and you get no say in how any of us take part in it. Zu - are you sure this asshole didn’t come here just to get dirt on the underground by pretending to give a shit about you and apologizing for his shitty personality?”
“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure that’s not his true purpose here. It’s why I mentioned our traitor just now.” Izuku spoke with a flippant attitude, looking at the fingernails on his free hand.
“What?! You really think I drug my ass all the way down here just to get fucking dirt on you, Izuku? I came here to fucking apologize for who I was as a kid. A stupid fucking kid. I didn’t know any better - and you don’t even have the decency to forgive me for the past. No wonder you’re a fucking villain.”
Izuku slammed both hands on the table, knocking the hot water bottle to the floor. Somehow, it didn’t break and spill across the floor. His chair screeched again as he stood quickly and loomed over Katsuki with a vicious sneer on his face, not even bothering to keep his voice low this time.
“Bakugo. You don’t have any right to speak about what I became. What YOU made me. You have NO RIGHT to come into my home, and tell me that I’m the one who fucked up. Because I did exactly what you all wanted. I did exactly what you told me. I took a swan dive off that fucking roof just like you wanted. All Might didn’t stop me, didn’t protect me. He LEFT me there, on that roof. He might as well have pushed me himself. But no… no, you did that for him. How DARE you call me a villain when you sit there pretending to be a fucking hero. You have no right to judge anyone in this bar for any of the decisions we were forced to make by a society that turned its back on us.” Izuku was seething, his breath coming in gasps. His voice was worn thin, raspy and fragile, the longer he spoke. He was so utterly and absolutely bone-dead-tired.
Shinsou tried to gently put a hand on his shoulder but Izuku jerked away, he didn’t want comfort right now. He wanted to seethe, to boil.
Katsuki stood up, his expression grim but not defiant. That was some kind of progress, at least.
“Get out.” Izuku rasped.
“Izuku, I-”
“GET. OUT. You’re not welcome here, Ground Zero. You wanted civil, this is civil. I’m allowing you to leave with your limbs and organs intact. Now leave before I change my mind and let my ‘merry band of freaks’, as you called them, have free reign of your body.”
There was no shortage of grunts and growls from the gathered patrons at the idea of getting a free pass to hurt a hero. It was rare that Izuku allowed them to ever kill a hero. Only a very select few bad eggs got that honor, and Katsuki was really pushing his luck here.
Katsuki stared Izuku down for a solid minute. He wanted to say something, clearly. But he seemed to struggle to find the words. Perhaps he was too scared to start a brawl he couldn’t win. Katsuki might be a damn good fighter, but he even would struggle in a confined space against thirty odd villains.
Shinsou had pulled his mask up over his face, which triggered the rest of the room to pull out their weapons or ready their quirks. Shinsou might be an underground hero, but he was Izuku’s other right hand aside from Dabi. The whole underground knew it, and they respected him for his delicate role toeing the line between underground hero and villain. Izuku’s face had smoothed into an emotionless mask, bright green eyes boring into Katsuki’s soul.
“Tch.” Katsuki was so profound. “Goodbye, Izuku. For what it’s worth - you were never useless, or worthless. That’s not what Deku ever truly meant to me.”
And - what the fuck? What the fuck was Izuku supposed to do with that? What kind of shitty ass last words were those? By the time Izuku got his brain restarted, the front door banged shut behind Katsuki.
Izuku let out a roaring scream, grabbing one of the chairs behind him with his good hand to slam it against a pillar nearby. It splintered into at least seven pieces. Izuku panted, fists clenched at his sides so hard his knuckles were white and blood dripped between his fingers. Guess he was breaking that promise to Dabi to not get blood on Ellie’s floors. At least it was his and not Katsuki’s.
“Zu?” Shinsou asked, coming close but not touching him, smart man.
Izuku spoke loud enough for the whole room to hear.
“Blackball Ground Zero and his whole agency. He wants me to play the villain, fine, I’ll play the villain. Someone get me Dabi - and for the love of God, no one tell him he was fucking right.” Izuku shook his hands out, hissing at the sting from his nails cutting his palms.
Shinsou was there, wrapping his hands around Izuku’s.
“Zu. Breathe. He’s just a stupid asshole.”
“He’s not just a stupid asshole, Toshi. That bastard knew exactly what would get into my bones. I asked you to handle the traitor in front of him to figure out if he had been here to get info. But… I was too concerned with his fucking… ugh, I’m sorry - he might get you in trouble.”
“Izuku, I work as an independent, I don’t have a boss to get in trouble with. He doesn’t understand that underground heroes work with vigilantes and villains to keep a delicate balance here. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“He could go to the HPSC, Toshi.”
“He’s not an idiot. The HPSC would laugh in his face. They don’t touch underground heroes with a ten foot pole anymore.”
Izuku sighed. Yet. Again.
“I know… I know. I’m sorry. I’m just stressed. He got the last dig in and it pissed me off.”
“Yeah, well, he’s an asshole.” Shinsou shook his head and sat back down. He grabbed a new chair for Izuku and picked up the hot water bottle, “Come on, let’s get you comfortable again. I’ll get you another drink. In the meantime, can you explain what that order means? Blackball his agency?”
Izuku pinched his fingers over the bridge of his nose and sat back down in the new chair. Ellie came over with a fresh drink and another hot water bottle for his hand.
“I’m sorry, Ellie. I’ll get you funds for any repairs and a new chair.”
“Thanks, boss, but don’t freak out. I ain’t mad about it. I get it. You did the right thing breaking a chair instead of his face. Less mess to clean up anyway.” Izuku nodded gently and settled in next to Shinsou to re-warm his aching fingers. He turned back to explain the orders.
“Blackball means the agency is put on a list. A very short list. This list is for agencies or heroes who have gravely offended or harmed the underworld. Any hero or agency on this list is cut off. No one in the underground is allowed to speak to them or give them any information. We also avoid their agency, and post no criminal activity in their region or on their patrol routes. Basically, we rob them of their livelihood - and we block them from finding any information. If they do manage to arrest anyone, it wouldn’t matter what deal they tried to make, they’d get nothing. Our people are allowed to say ‘you’re blacklisted, I refuse to speak.’ - just to confuse them for the hell of it. But generally no one speaks. We also carefully monitor what information gets to agencies that work with the blacklisted one. The goal is to avoid anything getting to the blacklisted one.”
Shinsou looked rightfully surprised, “I had no idea you could… do that.”
“Well, it’s not used often but it’s something I put into place about three years ago. We’ve only used it once on a full scale, and a few times on a smaller scale. Do you remember when that hero agency on Eighth and Kaiba closed down?”
“Vaguely, that was a mid-level agency with a few really popular heroes, right?”
“Right. Well. Their ranked hero, Failsafe, he-” Izuku grit his teeth for a moment, “A couple of our people were out getting food with their families - out of uniform. I guess Failsafe recognized them anyway? He attempted to apprehend the known villains among the group and caused a massive amount of property damage. One of the villains had their young daughter there. Age six. She died in the mess. It was horrible. We managed to get all the civilians away but - we couldn’t save the daughter. The villain, Nelly, she was broken. She hasn’t spoken since. We’ve tried to get her into therapy but - well, you know how that goes for anyone who is a known villain. She’s effectively catatonic to this day.”
“Zu...”
“So - we blackballed Failsafe’s agency. It was the most we could do without outright attacking them. I wanted to. I wanted revenge. But I knew that would only solidify our place in their eyes. So instead, we starved them. It only took a few months before they went bankrupt and Failsafe’s ranking dropped so low no one even remembered his name. That’s what will now happen to Ground zero’s agency. Only on a much larger scale since he’s #1. People will notice. People will see it. When they ask, we will tell them.”
“That’s brutal. I get it. I do. I agree with the decision. But… damn, Izu, that’s brutal.”
“Well, when you aren’t fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives. Eventually, you turn those knives on other people.”