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Childe was busy making silly little doodles in the margins of paperwork as one does when procrastinating work when Ekaterina burst into his office with a shout. "Lord Tartaglia, there's been an, um, incident at the front door."
"Shouldn't Vlad be able to handle these kinds of things?" He asked, though he was already halfway out of his seat.
"Well, it's," Ekaterina paused, waving her hands uselessly. "You'll see."
She wasn't wrong. As he entered the lobby of Northland Bank, he was greeted by the sight of a familiar little pixie floating in the doorway, waving her fist around and shouting at people.
"If you don't get Mr. More Mora Than Sense out here, I'm gonna-" She stopped mid-threat upon seeing him, zipping around his poor subordinates to hover in his face. Hands on her hips, a very cross look on her face, she yelled, "Have you seen Lumine?"
Childe pushed her away, the shrill sound of her voice hurting his ears. "What?"
"What do you mean, what? Have. You. Seen. Lumine?" With each word, she floated closer until she had practically poked him in the eye with her finger.
"No?" He hadn't even known they were back in town. "Why are you asking me that?"
"Because she's missing!" The pixie stated this like it was obvious and something everyone should know.
Now, Childe knew Lumine could take care of herself so he had to admit he was getting a little worried seeing Paimon all worked up. "Is it possible she just went out for a bit without telling you?" That had happened before.
"No, no, no," she shook her head. "You don't understand. Something happened earlier today and then, now she's," Paimon stomped her foot in the air. "Aghhh, Paimon doesn't know how to explain."
Childe's eye twitched, but he forced himself to remain calm.
"Okay. How about you start at the beginning? Where were you with Lumine earlier, what were you doing?" He needed her to focus and tell him something useful.
Paimon scratched the side of her head, fluttering side to side. "Well, we were tracking down some abyss mages and found some and started fighting them. And we were making quick work of them, too!" Read, Lumine was while Paimon cheered from the sidelines.
"But then one of them hit Lumine with this weird-looking magic."
"Weird looking? In what way?" The Abyss was home to many secrets so a new kind of magic wasn't the most surprising thing, but what did it do was all he needed to know right now.
"It just knocked Lumine back at first. But then-" Paimon was interrupted by a small golden blur dashing into the building with a yowl. Apparently, no one had closed the door when the pixie came in. Before anyone could tell what exactly it was, it had run at Childe, launching itself at him. Childe was used to surprise attacks but they usually weren’t by tiny fluffy things so this one caught him a bit off guard, causing him to jerk back and almost trip over a subordinate. All while this screeching creature was quickly climbing up his body like a tree before finally perching itself on his head, knocking his mask off in the process. The weight did not help his balance, but he finally managed to steady himself.
He reached up, grabbing the creature that was on his head and pulled the animal off, though it very much did not want to go, their claws felt like they had been lodged into his skull and it stung when he removed them. Holding it in front of him, he just stared at it, looking it over with a slow gaze.
"It's a cat," he stated the now obvious.
A very cute one to be sure, an adorable ball of fluff with a murderous look in its eyes. As he stared at it, he realized, its fur was a familiar shade of blond and that glare it was giving him now, the way its golden eyes glowered at him, he knew he had seen that before.
Paimon's eyes widened in surprise as she pointed at the cat. "There you are!" She flew up closer before she started scolding the creature. "Why did you run off, you scared me to death, I had to come to him for help of all people!"
Childe had been putting the pieces together, but it felt like such a bizarre conclusion he had come to that he needed verbal confirmation.
"Paimon. What exactly happened to Lumine?"
"Oh, yeah, she uh, she got turned into a cat," Paimon answered. Her hand on her head, she turned away, a little sheepish.
"Ah." That seemed like that should have been one of the first things out of her mouth.
The cat, Lumine, hissed at him, squirming out of his grasp. She dropped to the ground, landing lightly on her feet before turning and looking up at him. Her tailed flicked a few times in the air before she jumped at him, climbing up him again as she had just minutes before, settling herself once more on his head. Childe didn’t react, still processing the information he had just learned, but he snapped out of that stupor when Lumine smacked him on the head several times.
“Ouch.” It didn’t actually hurt much, she had kindly sheathed her claws. “Come on, Lumine, get down from there.”
He reached up to try and get her off, only to be met by her claws. So he decided against that, giving a blank stare to the small drops of blood now trailing down the back of his hand.
All the Fatui working there (thankfully no customers at this time) were staring at him. It was a sight to behold, he supposed. Not every day one gets to see their boss, a Harbinger, being yelled at by a tiny fairy and then having a cat sit on their head. He'd be staring too. That being said, them standing here meant there was work not getting done and he was the only one allowed to get away with that. Clapping his hands loudly to get their attention, he ordered, "Get back to work before I send you all to fight the oceanid." He gave a bright smile to seal the threat.
It worked like a charm as they scattered like flies, though Ekatrina still lingered. "Sir, what are you planning to do about," she gestured to Lumine, "this?"
Yes, that was the main issue here, wasn't it? Usually when he wasn't sure what to do, he'd ask his mother for help but since she was in another country, he'd have to deal with the next best thing. "You know what, I am off to see Zhongli. You can finish filling out those papers, right? Thanks, bye!"
"Wait, sir-" but he had already left, Paimon hurrying after him. Ekaterina groaned, rubbing her face in exasperation. She really should demand a raise.
~ ~
Surprising probably no one, walking with a cat on one's head was not pleasant. It drew even more stares than his mere existence as a Harbinger did, which was saying something. And to keep her balance, Lumine had to keep adjusting herself and Childe could feel the tips of her claws poking his scalp the whole way. Not a fun time.
By the time he reached Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, his ears were ringing from Paimon refusing to shut up and he was surprised there wasn’t blood dripping down his face, why did cat’s claws have to hurt so much? He offered a nod to a concerned-looking Ferry Lady before walking in.
"A customer?" Hu Tao came from around the back to poke her head into the room. "Ah, just you.” She sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. “Nice hat though. Where'd you get it?"
He did not answer, instead asking, "Have you seen the old man?"
"I've seen plenty of old men, they make up a lot of my customers. But if it's that old man you mean, yeah, he's back in the kitchen."
"Thank you."
"Ai, ai, what's with the cat?" She asked again, only to get ignored again.
Unlike everyone else, Zhongli did not say anything to Childe about the cat on his head when they entered the room. "Would you care for a cup of tea? This particular blend is useful for easing stress."
Childe knew the old god was good for something.
"Paimon would, please!" She spoke up, floating by Childe's shoulder.
Pulling out a chair across from Zhongli, Childe sat down and Lumine finally got off. She hopped down before padding across the table to greet Zhongli. He gave her a bemused look, but held out his hand, which she rubbed her head affectionately against.
Childe couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. Just a little bit. Heck, he might even be imagining it. But he did look away with maybe a slightly cross look on his face.
Zhongli started to pet Lumine, scratching her ears. "What happened here?"
Paimon put down her cup of tea to retell her story of earlier events, though having calmed down since finding Lumine, she was able to recall more detail. "So the abyss mage shot at her with what he said was an incapacitation spell, but when it hit her at first it didn't do anything so we thought it was a dud. Then later as we got back to the harbor, poof, she turned into a cat! So Paimon was trying to figure out what to do next when she made a run for it."
Childe interjected, "Do you know how to turn her back?"
Zhongli hummed softly, gently rubbing the tip of Lumine's head. She was purring loudly, leaning into his hand, eyes closed in contentment.
"From what I can tell, she should just be able to recover on her own. Abyss magic corrupts and since Lumine can purify, it seems her body currently is working to reverse the effects of the attack. Just keep her safe until she's back to her original form."
"Oh." It made sense, though it seemed a lot easier than he expected. Granted, it meant he was stuck looking after her for the next who knows how long, but that wasn't a bad thing in his book.
He took a sip of his tea, it was bitter with a slightly sweet aftertaste. He could feel himself relaxing though, but that was probably in part to having answers.
But, there had been one other thing bugging him. "Okay, last question. Why did she come to me of all people? Why not Xiangling, or even you?"
There had to have been people better suited to help in this situation.
"Well, such a change would surely be panic-inducing, she probably went to the closest person that would make her feel safe."
Childe choked on his drink, leaning over the table as he coughed. Paimon patted his back in an attempt to help. It didn't do anything but he appreciated the gesture.
"What?" Childe managed to ask, looking up to gawk at Zhongli, not sure if he heard him right.
"What?" Paimon was sure she heard him right, but couldn't believe what he just said.
"What?" Zhongli echoed, not sure why they seemed confused.
"What?"
The three turned to look at the fourth voice, seeing a curious Hu Tao leaning in through the doorway.
"What are you doing here?"
"Silly Harbinger, I live here, what wouldn't I be doing here?"
Childe dragged his hand down his face, giving a long sigh. "Right."
Meanwhile, Lumine attacked Zhongli's hand, grabbing it with her claws as she bit him, as if daring him to go on. He looked down at her fangs lodged in his skin, unperturbed. "Well then, it seems that is my cue to leave. Make sure she doesn't run off again, we can't have the traveler getting lost."
He gently pried her off and she gave him a dirty look before stalking away, going all the way to the corner of the room to sit in and not face any of them.
Childe couldn't help but give a small laugh at her behavior. She was even sassier than when she was human. Now, back to what Zhongli had said-
A loud noise filled the room and everyone looked over at Paimon. "What, Paimon's hungry, Paimon hasn't had anything to eat since this morning."
Or maybe not. "Fine, I'll get you something to eat."
Pushing his chair back, he stood up, giving Lumine a look. "Well, are you coming or not?" He was 98% sure she just rolled her eyes at him before sauntering over, her tail flicking back and forth in the air. She walked past him, very pointedly ignoring him, and left the room.
~ ~
Lumine did not make the trip back any easier, in fact, it was worse. She refused to be carried, instead darting off into the crowd as soon as Hu Tao opened the door for them to leave, leaving Paimon and Childe to chase after her.
"Sorry!" Childe yelled as he almost knocked someone over. It was evening and in Liyue Harbor those were peak traffic hours, much to Childe's misfortune.
Dodging around another pedestrian, he made a lunge for Lumine, who hopped out of his reach. She turned her head, sticking her tongue out at him before dashing off again.
Fine, if that's how she wanted to play. With a small flash, he activated his vision, making getting around people that much easier. After a few minutes and, there, there she was and he just barely managed to grab her.
"Got you," he smirked, stroking her head.
She let out a yowl and wriggled about in his grasp, but he was not letting her get away anytime soon. "Calm down, we can't have you getting lost again."
She merely hissed in response and clawed at his scarf, only managing to get her claws stuck in the fabric as a result.
"Well, well, if it isn't Childe," he heard a familiar voice exclaim, spotting the owner of it serving some tables a short bit away. It seemed their little chase had brought them right outside Wanmin's.
"Hi, Xiangling!" Paimon greeted, waving her hand.
"Oooh, she's so cute!" Xiangling cooed, hurrying over to get a closer look at the disgruntled cat in Childe's grasp. "Can I pet her?”
He just shrugged but Lumine let Xiangling stroke her head, purring softly. She had been nice to everyone but him today, how rude.
“Strange to see the two of you together, but no Lumine."
"It's a long story. And Lumine is," he and Paimon shared a look and for once they agreed on something. "Busy, Lumine's busy in Mondstatdt."
“Lumine’s got a lot to do in Sumeru.”
Childe forced out a laugh. “Sumeru, my bad.”
“Oh yeah, she’s in Mondstadt.”
Xiangling blinked. “Eh?” This was probably why Lumine usually didn't leave them together.
Childe glared at Paimon, gesturing for her to zip it. She stuck out her tongue at him but upon receiving a very pointed look, reluctantly closed her mouth.
“Lumine’s busy," he said, smiling to indicate that was that.
Xiangling decided to just roll with it, she did not have the time to question things at the moment. "Shame, I wanted to see if she had gotten ahold of any fresh Naku Weed. Well, I can ask her later."
Lumine meowed, pawing at Childe.
"What do you want, Lu- Lucky?"
“Her name is Lucky? So cute," Xiangling smiled at the cat. "So, are you here to order something?”
Paimon almost lunged over his shoulder, waving one hand as she exclaimed, “Yes, Paimon wants Minty Meat Rolls and Fishermen’s Toast!”
“I’ll just have some rice buns," Childe ordered. Lumine bit his hand. "I didn't forget about you," He hissed at her, before adding on, "And could I just get some raw fish?”
“Coming right up!”
~ ~
When they finally got back to his office, he set Lumine down on a chair after untangling her from his scarf. She bounced on the cushion before quickly hopping up onto his desk. She stepped around the clutter before sitting next to a pile of papers. Poking it a couple of times, it wobbled precariously. Her ears perked up and she poked it a few more times. She turned to look at him and raised her paw.
Childe knew that expression. That devious look in her eyes.
"Lumi, no," he said, halfheartedly though since he knew she wouldn't listen. And she shoved the stack of papers scattering to the ground before he had even finished speaking, all while looking him dead in the eye. She was smirking at him, could cats even smirk? Because she sure was.
Well, he hadn't wanted to deal with that paperwork anyways.
The sun had long since set and Paimon was stifling a yawn. It was past her bedtime by a few hours.
"Go sleep, Paimon,"
She eyed him warily, "I can't leave Lumine alone with you when she's like this."
"What do you think I'm even going to do to her?" What could Paimon even do if he wanted to do something in the first place?
"Uh, uh, Paimon doesn't know."
"That's because I'm not going to do anything. Do you really think that low of me?"
"Mmm," Paimon gave him a dirty look, followed by another yawn. "Fine. But just know Paimon will be watching you. If you try any funny business, Paimon will lock you in a space rift and never let you out!" With that final threat, she disappeared to who knows where in a flurry of constellations,
Childe blinked. "Can she really do that?" He asked Lumine, who just tilted her head.
"Alright then."
He was exhausted, but still had work left to do so he couldn't go back to his room just yet unless he wanted to awaken to Ekaterina drowning him in paperwork.
He started flipping through some papers, signing stuff where needed. Lumine was all over the office, still very wound up. She hopped from his desk to shelves, she even perched on his shoulder for a bit, watching as he wrote. But finally, she settled herself on his lap, kneading his leg before laying down. He started to pet her, enjoying her presence when she wasn't being a little terror.
As the candles burned low, Childe set his pen down. His hand was starting to cramp and he still had half a stack to go. Picking up Lumine, he set her down on his seat before going to lay down on the couch on the other side of his office. Looking up at the ceiling, he yawned. Just a short nap would do.
"Oof," he grunted when Lumine jumped onto his stomach. She stepped up on his chest, looking down at his face. Raising a paw she very deliberately stepped on his face, staring down at him. "Are you trying to suffocate me?" Childe was cross-eyed trying to look at her paw. He sneezed, causing Lumine to jump away in shock, falling off the couch.
"Shit, Lumine, are you okay?" But before he could sit up and check, Lumine had jumped back up, staring crossly at him.
After jabbing him several times with her paw, she curled up on the couch against his chest, quickly falling asleep. Childe ran his fingers through her soft fur, musing over what had happened. As nice as cat Lumine had been, she was very fluffy, he couldn't wait for her to return to being human.
His tiredness soon overtook him and he fell asleep, holding her close.
Childe was woken up by the sunlight streaming in through his windows, right into his eyes. With a groan, he tried to turn, only to be met by the sound of someone hitting the ground.
"Owww," he heard a familiar voice whine.
"Lumine?" She was back? Sitting up, he saw Lumine, a human Lumi, laying on the ground, staring up at him. "Why is your couch so small?"
"It's a couch, it's not meant to sleep on."
"I've slept on many couches, yours just sucks." She sat up, rubbing her neck. "What am I even doing here in the first place?"
"Do you, do you remember what happened yesterday?"
"Paimon and I were doing a commission and then came back to Liyue harbor and-" a perplexed look came over her face. "That's strange, it's all fuzzy. I don't know what happened after that."
Childe rolled off the couch, it was quite uncomfortable, laying on the floor next to her. He wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disappointed. Did he really want to be the one to describe yesterday's antics to her? (Yes, yes he did.) Her ears twitched as she stretched, letting out a big yawn.
Wait, ears? Rubbing his eyes to make sure he was fully awake, he looked again. No this was not a dream as Lumine was most certainly sporting a pair of cat ears. And, was that a tail he saw?
He couldn't help himself, reaching a hand up to touch her ears. They were soft.
"What the fuck are you doing?" If looks could kill he would be a very dead man.
He pulled his hands back, raising them in surrender. Whatever happened next, his life was definitely at risk so might as well just go for it.
"Soo, what if I told you you got turned into a cat yesterday."
"What?!?!"