Archive of Our Own

Aki doesn’t really know how the apartment that he pays for himself with his own job became a share house, but it’s certainly a more accurate title than just his nice, calm, empty apartment that it was a year ago.

Now, he gets woken up to the sound of something, probably one of his mom’s dishes that survived the fire, shattering on the kitchen floor, followed by Power starting to yell at top of her lungs and Denji proceeding to yell back just as loudly.

On Aki’s day off, too.

He rolls over and slaps a pillow over his head to try and muffle the noise. It doesn’t work. The power of his roommate’s voices is just too strong.

It’s Aki’s own fault, really. He didn’t protest when Denji stumbled into his life needing a bed to sleep in, nor did he turn away Power when she kicked in the door with the same problem. He didn’t even say no to Power’s cat that somehow ends up in Aki’s room every morning, despite his allergy, and is currently blinking at him from the other side of the pillow that’s covering his ears because Power always forgets to feed it.

He has to get up eventually, though, so when he can’t take the yelling anymore, Aki rises.

Power and Deni are standing around the remnants of the broken dish and immediately point fingers at one another when they see Aki coming out. Aki just sighs.

“Can you just clean it up?” he asks, knowing the answer is no.

Sure enough, Power claims she’s never seen a broom and Denji tilts his head to the side and asks where the broom is. It’s in the hall closet, a foot away from where Denji is standing, but Aki just sighs again swipes his packet of cigarettes off the counter and heads out to the balcony. He’d like to make a cup of coffee to drink while he smokes, but he’d have to step around the broken dish and acknowledge that it’s there in the first place, which isn’t something he wants to do right now. So, he’ll just take a cigarette for now.

It's warm outside, warm in the cool way that threatens the coming of fall. The shitty patio chair creaks under Aki’s weight as he settles into it. The grooves on the lighter have been worn smooth as he flicks it with practiced ease to ignite it. He slips a cigarette out of the packet and holds it between his lips, then cups his hand around the end to shield it from the light breeze as he brings the flame close enough to light. Aki sucks in a breath once the end glows orange, filling his lungs with smoke. Nicotine sinks into his veins and Aki lets his head fall back against the metal back of the chair.

The sky is a hazy lavender overhead, the sun obscured by thick clouds pierced by the other apartment buildings that surround Aki’s. He sits there, staring at the sky and smoking, until the cigarette turns to ash and his throat feels dry and scratchy. He crushes the end on the balcony rail and gathers up the packets of cigarettes and lighter to head back inside.

There’s still a broken dish on the kitchen floor, but the yelling has stopped and Meowy is quietly chomping on food in her bowl next to the debris. Aki sets the pack and lighter down on the counter and grabs the broom from the cupboard and sweeps up the mess. It was one of his mom’s dishes, but not one of the good ones. He throws the broken pieces in the trash, along with the end of his cigarette, into the trash, then makes his coffee. He drinks on the living room floor, ignoring the trash that’s accumulated on the table next to him and takes in the brief moment of peace.

That gentle peace is broken when Power comes out of her room, slinking over the back of one of the couches wearing a t-shirt that Aki thinks is his and a pair of underwear. She sits with her legs crossed under her and looks at Aki like a very threatening bird.

“We’re out of eggs,” she informs him.

“You know where the store is,” Aki tells her over the rim of his mug. She doesn’t like this answer and frowns. Before she can start asking for money to get the eggs, Aki tells her he’ll pick some up after class.

“You have class today?” She asks this like it’s the first time Aki has ever had to go to class. It’s not.

Aki simply hums in response. Power groans and tips over, stretching out lengthwise on the couch. Her long hair spills onto the floor and Meowy trots over to swat at the swaying ends.

“It’s so boring when you go to school,” she says as she reaches down to scoop Meowy up into her lap. The cat cries softly but doesn’t run away as Power sets her on her chest.

“You have classes you could be going to, as well,” Aki reminds her.

Power just snorts.

Aki finishes his coffee and sets the empty mug in the sink, leaving Power alone with her cat. He heads back to his room and changes. He gets another few minutes of peace before Denji pokes his head through the door without knocking. It’s such a common occurrence that Aki doesn’t even flinch when Denji calls his name, just finishes pulling his shirt over his head before turning around and looking over at him.

“What is it?”

“Do you have any clean socks?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I wear them?”

Aki pauses. He supposes he should be proud of Denji for recognizing that he even needs clean socks, but all he can think about is that Denji’s socks must be atrocious if he thinks he’s resorting to asking Aki for a pair.

“To school?”
Denji shrugs. He throws the door open fully and looks too skinny in his grimy white shirt and boxers. Aki has been spending a fortune on food that Denji scarfs down the minute he brings it into the house and somehow he still looks like he’s never had a full meal in his life.

Aki gives him the socks anyway. Denji doesn’t close the door in his wake.

The first class of the day is a boring one, a gen-ed that Aki should’ve gotten out of the way three years ago but had resolutely forgotten about until his advisor reminded him about it. It’s one of those big lectures filled that Aki could probably skip. The professor doesn’t know a single person’s name. And that’s exactly what Aki had been planning on doing, until he saw Angel.

Angel came into the first class ten minutes late, slipping into the empty seat next to Aki and falling into a low slouch like he’d been there the entire time. He barely looked at Aki, didn’t say anything at all. But Aki couldn’t help sneaking peeks at him out of the corner of his eye as the professor droned on about grades and beginning of the semester nonsense. It wasn’t until Angel sneezed and Aki silently offered him a tissue from packet in his pocket that Angel even properly looked at him and Aki was stunned by the sad downturn of his eyes and the way the long threads of his red hair fell across the bridge of his nose as he looked up at Aki from his side. Silently, he’d taken the tissue Aki held out to him, slowly and carefully and keeping his fingers far from Aki’s. He didn’t say thank you or hello or anything, but he did look at Aki a minute longer before turning away and settling back into his slump.

Aki’s come to every class period since, just to sit next to Angel.

Classes have been carrying on for about a month, and they’ve talked a few times. Enough to know that Angel is a junior, he’s also taking the class as a gen-ed, he lives in one of the dorms on campus near the dining hall. He won’t tell Aki his major or give him a straight answer about the question. All of his answers are softspoken and shrugs and one worded. But Aki doesn’t mind. He likes the quiet whispers they share between one another while the professor lectures. It’s his favorite part of the week.

Which is why Aki is fidgeting and fighting sleep as he sits next to an empty chair while the professor lectures at the front of the hall.

The class is only an hour and Aki is flying out of his seat before the professor even finishes his dismissal. It’s not like he’s the only one doing this, but it is the first time he’s left this quickly. It feels disrespectful but there’s no way for Aki to resist against the pull in his chest as he flees the academic building.

Aki doesn’t know what he’s doing.

He doesn’t do things like this.

He goes to the on-campus coffee shop first. There’s no way to know what Angel’s coffee order is so he asks for a black coffee and a hot chocolate. He taps his foot as he waits at the end of the bar for his order to be ready. Maybe it’s a dumb idea to go to Angel’s dorm. It was only a throwaway line that Angel even mentioned his single dorm. Aki had been complaining about Power and Denji the morning the made the sink overflow and Angel had scoffed and laughed at Aki for even having roommates in the first place and said he lived in the dorm with single rooms. Would it be weird for Aki to remember that piece of information about him? To go to the building and search out Angel outside of class?

The barista calls his name and sets both drinks on the counter just as Aki is planning on dipping out of the café altogether. With two travel cups in hand and an extra hot chocolate that he doesn’t want, Aki decides it wouldn’t hurt to just go check Angel’s dorm.

It’s the middle of the day still, so Aki’s ID card still works at the door. He balances the travel cups against his chest as he wrestles with his door and the ID. There’s no one in the lobby when he enters, but Aki still feels like someone’s going to come around any corner and call him out for not belonging.

No one does.

Aki takes his time walking the floor, checking the names taped to the doors. Some of them are missing and for a moment, Aki hopes that one of the nameless doors is Angel and he won’t have to face the embarrassment of knocking on a door. He’s about to give up as he treks down the third floor hall when he gets to the last door.

The last door has a little tag drawn with the name Angel written in black marker on a piece of construction paper cut out to look like a leaf.

Aki sucks in a breath through his teeth.

Here it is.

It takes him a good, long while to muster up enough courage to even knock. Long enough that he thinks he looks stupid standing in front of Angel’s door. His thoughts are confirmed when someone comes out of their room to walk to the bathroom and gives Aki a strange look from down the hall. His face burns with the embarrassment.

Squaring his face and willing the blush to fade, Aki knocks.

And waits.

The other side of the room is silent.

Aki considers knocking again, but that would really be pushing it. He waits for a while, shifting his weight between feet. When it seems like Angel won’t actually answer the door or worse, he’s not even inside and Aki’s been standing outside of an empty room, Aki turns to leave only to be stopped by the sound of the door creaking open behind him.

He freezes.

“Hello?”

It’s Angel’s soft voice calling to him. Aki pauses and looks back over his shoulder to see Angel’s face peeing out between the crack of the door. From what Aki can see, he’s bundled up in a hoodie that’s way too large on him with a black beanie pulled down low over his forehead. His coppery hair pokes out from under the knitted brim and makes Aki’s fingers twitch to push the strands off the other boy’s soft features more than usual.

“Hi,” Aki says in the most stilted Japanese once he’s able to figure out how to speak again. Obviously, showing up unannounced to the dorm of a classmate he barely knows requires more of an explanation, so Aki holds up the hot chocolate in greeting. “You weren’t in class.”

Angel coughs softly. He doesn’t cover his mouth. “I’m sick.”

“Ah.”

A perfectly reasonable reason. Aki feels incredibly silly standing here with his two drinks and Angel is blinking up at him with a question in his large eyes and, gosh, he’s cute.

“I brought you hot chocolate,” Aki says, pushing his outstretched hand a little closer. Angel eyes the travel cup and Aki’s hand, then slowly drags his gaze back up to meet Aki’s.

“Thanks,” Angel says. He still doesn’t take the cup.

“Erm. I didn’t know what you like. So, it’s just hot chocolate.”

A tiny smile flickers across Angel’s face. Aki has only seen that small smile a few times and it makes his chest tighten every single time.

“I like hot chocolate,” Angel says. Against all odds, he opens the door a little wider and reaches out. He wraps his fingers around the lid of the travel cup to ease it from Aki’s grip. They don’t touch at all, not even on accident. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Aki clamps his mouth shut before he can say anything else that’s embarrassing.

He’s entranced, though, as Angel holds the cup between both hands and brings it up to his mouth. The sleeves of his oversized hoodie pool over his hands and Angel leans against the doorframe. He looks up at Aki under the cover of his bangs as he brings the rim of the cover to his mouth.

Just the sight of it makes Aki’s mouth go dry.

The door drifts open now that Angel isn’t holding it and Aki tries not to look over the top of Angel’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of the room. It feels creepy to do that, a step too far. It also feels creepy to realize how short Angel is, that he stands at about Aki’s shoulder height and if Aki were to step forward two paces, he’d be able to tuck Angel neatly under his chin.

“What’d you get?” Angel asks, violently shaking Aki out of his own head. Aki can’t remember what he had gotten and opens and closes his mouth like a fish. Angel takes his silence as Aki not understanding the question and juts his chin in the direction of the cup in Aki’s hand.

“A black coffee.” Aki blurts the words out again.

Angel wrinkles his nose and it’s so cute. “Bitter.”

A laugh chokes its way out of Aki’s mouth at this. He can’t help the crooked grin that suddenly overwhelms him.

“It’s not bad,” Aki says. It sounds so stupid coming out of his mouth.

Angel studies him for a moment, then asks, “Do you always get that?”

“Most of the time.”

Angel nods thoughtfully, taking another sip as he does so. “The hot chocolate is good. I prefer sweet.”

“Ah, I’ll keep that in mind.” The praise heats something up inside of Aki and his face feels like it’s on fire.

Angel’s looking at Aki with this soft, sleepy look that he always levels him with, only it feels more intimate and private now that they’re standing in the doorway of Angel’s room. Aki shifts again and coughs lightly.

“Well,” he says, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’ll let you go so you can rest.”

“Thank you for coming,” Angel says, that small smile curling the edges of his lips. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Aki says. He takes a step back and gives a small wave. Angel returns the wave but still doesn’t close the door. Instead, Aki decides to spin around and leave Angel alone. The whole time he walks down the hall, Aki can feel Angel’s soft gaze on his retreating back. It makes him nervous and a little excited.

Angel’s still peering out at him from the door when Aki reaches the staircase and looks back at him one last time.

Aki’s whole body buzzes for the rest of the day. He moves through the rest of his classes in a hazy sort of state, hardly paying attention as he idly doodles in his notepad instead of taking notes. He was supposed to give a presentation for his third class of the day but cannot, for the life of him, remember if he actually gave it. The only thing in his mind is the way Angel looked up at him from under his long lashes and smiled quietly at Aki in thanks for bringing Aki the drink. And the only thing Aki can think to himself is why hadn’t he thought about showing up to Angel’s dorm before.

He forgets to buy eggs at the store before he comes home, but he doesn’t even mind when Power wails at the offense like he’s just cut off her leg. Instead, he orders takeout and doesn’t badger either of them for money after. They sit on the floor and eat, and Aki chews his rice slowly while Power and Denji squabble over who gets the last wonton from their takeout Chinese. One of them, he can’t tell, knocks over a can of soda and it spills sticky sweetness all over the floor and Aki doesn’t even yell. This is what alerts the other two to something being up with him.

Instead of launching into a flurry of blame games like they normally would, they tip their heads towards him and when he doesn’t give one, they start yelling all over again.

“What’s wrong with you? Did you lose your tongue somewhere?” Power crows.

“Yeah. You’ve been moodier than usual today,” Denji says.

“No, he’s not moodier.” Power slaps the back of Denji’s head and he cries out. “He’s happy or something. Can’t you see?”

“Aki? Happy?” Denji scoffs as he rubs the back of his head. “Why would that happen?”

“I saw a friend today,” Aki decides to say, setting his chopsticks down and rising to grab towels to clean up the mess Power and Denji won’t.

“A friend? Since when do you have friends?” Power’s comment hurts more than it should and Aki frowns to himself in the kitchen. “I thought we were your only friends.”

“You’re not,” Aki says as he crouches back down to clean the spilled soda. “I’m your only friend because you two never leave the house. I have other friends, though.”

It’s only a partial truth, though. Aki doesn’t love socializing and he can really only confidently say that Himeno at work, and now maybe Angel at school, can be classified as his friends outside of Denji and Power. The thought is too sad to think about, though, so Aki pushes it away.

“That’s a false accusation,” Power says.

“No way, I have Beam and I did leave the apartment today,” Denji says at the same time. Then, “Power is the one that didn’t.”

This prompts Power to throw herself on top of Denji and then they’re wrestling across the living room floor. Aki cleans up the remnants of their dinner to get it out of the way of the carnage. It’s a fairly typical end to the day in the share house.

The next time Aki has class with Angel, it’s after he worked an opening shift and is dead tired. He wonders if it’s even worth it to force himself through the class, if Angel will even be here.

But, fifteen minutes into the professor’s dry lecture, Angel comes slinking into his seat, slumping down low and sliding a travel cup of coffee onto Aki’s desk without a word or a single glance. Aki can’t help but openly stare at Angel with the shock of it. Angel doesn’t acknowledge him. When Aki finally recovers, he takes a tentative sip and tastes the bitter slide of hot coffee washing over his tongue. The fact that Angel remembered his order burns hotter than the coffee he swallows down.

“Thank you,” Aki says as he follows Angel out of the hall after class.

“Don’t worry about it,” Angel says in his soft, sweet voice. He has his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and the wind picks up the gentle strands of his hair as they step outside. When Aki looks at him, he’s smiling a little. Aki’s stomach flips.

“Okay, then,” Aki says. He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket, as well. “I’ll see you around, then.”

Angel continues to come later and later to class, always with a coffee for Aki in hand. Time passes like that.

The middle of the semester approaches and work gets hectic for Aki. 

Aki has asked time and time again to not work the opening shift, but people have been quitting left and right recently, even Himeno, and Aki has been left as one of the only experienced people left at the shop to open. Today is no different as Aki heads to the store before the sun rises. Technically, Power and Denji work here as well, but Makima is wise enough to not trust either of them to open and usually work the later shifts. She’d texted him last night informing him that he would also be training someone new today. She didn’t give any more information about it, just saying that the trainee would be there when Aki arrives to open.

So, it’s a total surprise when he finds Angel standing by the back staff door.

He’s bundled up in what Aki assumes is the same hoodie he had worn when Aki stopped by his dorm almost a month ago and a dark pea coat. That same beanie is pulled down low over his forehead again and he’s rubbing his bare hands together to ward off the cold.

“Um hey,” Aki says as he approaches the other boy. Angel looks up at Aki with mild surprise written across his face. His cheeks are ruddy and pink from the cold and he sighs a white cloud of frosty air. He has to wrestle his chin out of the blue scarf wrapped around his neck to do so. “Are you- you’re the trainee?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah I guess so,” Angel says.

Aki stares at him for a moment, stunned, before fumbling with the shop keys in his pocket. He can feel Angel’s stare on his back as he steps forward to unlock the door.

“Come on in.” Aki holds the door open for Angel. Angel quietly steps inside.

Aki tries to think of something else to say, but can’t, so just goes about his normal routine of taking off his own jacket and storing it away in the break room. Angel follows but doesn’t take off any layers.  

“Ah, so it’s usually pretty slow in the mornings. Not many people come in. But we can stock and stuff. Make sure the store’s all set up for later in the day,” Aki says as he walks into the main room of the store. They sell mostly outdoor gear, and the reason for the early opening time is for crazy adventurers that need last minute gear, apparently, but Aki has found that those people are few and far between.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Angel says softly while Aki is counting money in the first register. He’s still wearing all his layers and sitting on a stool in the corner, watching over Aki.

“Yeah,” Aki says. He forgets his count and has to start over. “I started freshman year. And somehow I’m still here.”

Angel snorts. “That bad?”

“No, no.” Aki says. It’s really not. Most of the time. Sometimes the customers are terrible and yell at him and it’s a hassle to work when Power and Denji are here too, but it’s not bad. Despite what Himeno says. Despite how hard Himeno tried to get him to quit when she did. Despite Makima’s… everything. “It’s pretty easy.”

“I hope so,” Angel says. Then, he heaves out a long-suffering sigh. Aki glances over his shoulder at him to see him slumped back against the wall, looking almost identical to the way he sits in class. “I hate working.”

Aki scoffs. He has to start his count over again. “Then why’d you start?”

“Money.”

Ah.

Aki finally manages to finish the simplest task of opening and heads to the front door to unlock them. He flicks the open sign on.

“You cold?” Aki asks when he comes back to Angel behind the counter.

Angel shrugs under his layers. The scarf is still wrapped around his mouth and his words are muffled. “I’m always cold.”

“There’s a coffee machine in the break room,” Aki says. “If you want to warm up.”

Angel shrugs again and remains sitting. Aki braces his hands on the counter. There’s only one stool behind the counter, which is normally where he sits during this shift, but Angel is there and there’s nothing else to do. Aki feels tense, he feels like he should do something more, say something more, but his brain feels sluggish and slow, and nothing comes to mind.

A total of three customers come into the shop before the four hour shift is up. Aki handles the first two with Angel standing by his side and breathing closely to his shoulder. He lets Angel handle the third and watches from a few paces back and Angel softly talks with them and takes their money. It’s clear the other boy is nervous, but he handles the interaction just fine without Aki having to interrupt.

Kobeni comes in at the end of both Aki and Angel’s shift to take over and Aki spends a bit of time talking over all that he’d gotten done during the time he’d been in. He fully expects Angel to have disappeared like he does after class but is pleasantly surprised to find Angel standing at the back door when he heads out.

“Hey,” Angel says from under the scarf he’s still wearing.

“Hi.” Aki pulls his coat on and shoulders his backpack.

“So.” Angel shifts on his feet, looking down at the ground instead of Aki. “Do you just go to class after this?”

The class they share starts in half an hour. Normally, Aki does exactly that. He tells Angel as such.

Angel hums, looking up at Aki from beneath his lashes. “Could we go together?”

The request is demure and soft, as if Angel’s afraid of getting turned down. As if there’s a universe where Aki would deny Angel anything.

Not that Angel could know that.

“Yeah,” Aki says. “Yeah, of course. I can drive.”

“Well, I certainly hope so. I don’t drive.”

 Aki pauses at this. He wants to ask if Angel walked here, but that’s probably dumb, giving how much he was shivering when Aki arrived. Aki wants to ask to pick him up next time they work the same shift.

He doesn’t though, and they just silently get into Aki’s car. It takes a minute for the engine to turn over and for an embarrassing minute, Aki’s worried it won’t start at all. But it does and Aki carefully maneuvers the car out of the back lot. Angel fiddles with the radio dial until he finds a station that’s playing some bubblegum pop song and sits back in his seat. Aki flexes his fingers along the steering wheel.

It takes forever to find a parking spot on campus, like it does every day. So long that there’s only twelve minutes before class starts. Still, as Aki clicks the lock on the remote for his car and falls into step with Angel, the other boy suggests that they stop by the café before heading to class.

Again, Aki can’t refuse him.

The line at the coffee shop is long, curling around the interior of the café. Still, Angel silently steps into line and Aki follows after him.

 “Is this why you’re always late?” Aki asks. They’re standing shoulder to shoulder or rather, shoulder to head, as Angel only comes up to Aki’s shoulder. He has to tip his head back to look up and Aki as he smiles over his scarf.

“Recently,” he says and there’s a glimmer in his eyes that makes Aki’s throat close up. “Used to be I slept too long.”

Aki swallows. “I see.”

Their class is just starting by the time they reach the register. Angel doesn’t bat an eye when Aki reminds him of the time and steps in front of Aki to rattle off an order: a medium hot chocolate and a black coffee. Aki slaps his card down on the counter in front of the barista before Angel can pay.

“Almost like a date,” Angel says, deadpan.

Aki knows he’s teasing but can’t help the blush that heats his cheeks anyway.

They make it to class eventually, albeit fifteen minutes late.

If Angel leans a little closer to Aki in his seat than normal, Aki doesn’t comment on it.

Aki and Angel don’t end up having that many shifts together. Their other classes must not line up as well as that one they share, but Aki does get to spend a few early opening shifts with Angel during the week. Angel is really good at stocking shelves, organizing things to make them look good for the customers and Aki likes watching Angel work. Sometimes Angel catches him watching. He’d look away at first but starts meeting Angel’s gaze eventually, meeting Angel’s stare and wait for Angel’s cheeks to turn pink and finally break away.

He picks Angel up on those mornings.

They grab coffee before class too, showing up late and in tandem.

Midterms approach and Angel is sitting on the counter on one of those early mornings, swinging his feet and playing on his phone. Aki’s processing a new box of stock, checking the items into the computer.

“What do you do when you’re not here?” Angel asks, suddenly and too loud in the nearly silent store.

Aki startles a little. “Go to school.”

They’ve grown accustomed to one another’s mannerisms and ticks, so Aki can feel the way Angel rolls his eyes behind his back.

“Besides that.”

“Not much, I guess,” Aki says. He continues typing entries.

“What are you doing tonight?”

This time, Aki stops working and turns around. Angel is just sitting there, swinging his feet and staring at his phone.

“What am I doing tonight?” Aki parrots. Angel just hums in response. “Ah. Probably just going home. Making dinner for my roommates.”

“How kind of you,” Angel says, like he’s holding something back.

“Why do you ask?” Aki’s heart thumps painfully in his chest at the prospect of what Angel might be hinting at. He’s been patient these past few weeks, tiptoeing around Angel and this fragile thing that’s between them. He doesn’t now much about relationships, never had the time or the energy, but he does for Angel. Can wait for Angel.

“I just figured you’d be the type to study,” Angel says. “You know, for the midterms.”

A slow, hopeful smile creeps across Aki’s face. He can’t help it. “Are you asking me to study with you?”

“That depends.” Finally, Angel sets his phone down and looks over at Aki. He curls a strand of hair behind his ear. There’s a tiny gold hoop pierced in the lobe there. “Is there anything in it for me?”

“Well.” Aki pushes away from the computer he’s working at to approach Angel. “You’d get more prepared for the midterm.”

“Tempting.” Angel swings himself around, so his legs are hanging on the other side of the counter, Aki’s side. “What else?”
“Well,” Aki says again. He takes two steps closer to Angel. “It wouldn’t be so boring if we were together. Probably.”

“Probably.”

“And I could get dinner. For us.”

“Dessert?”

“Dessert. If that’s what you want.”

Aki takes another step closer. There’s a roaring in his ears, an ocean. He’s pinned under Angel’s gaze, pulled into his orbit like the waves under the moon.

“I do want,” Angel says, and Aki feels like he can’t breathe.

He’s close enough now that Angel’s legs hitch apart just enough for Aki to be able to step in between them. Aki doesn’t. He wants to, but he doesn’t. There’s something about that intense look in Angel’s eyes that reminds him of a startled deer, something that’s on the edge of fleeing from him but isn’t quite sure if he wants to go yet. Aki doesn’t want to do something that’s going to make Angel flee.

They do study that night. Aki has Angel’s phone number by now and he gets a text from Angel late in the day, after he’s spent the whole day wracked with nerves over their conversation that morning. Nerves that Angel might text him and nerves that Angel might not.

But he does text, and they do study and that’s all they do.

Aki meets Angel in the library. He’d already made and eaten dinner with Denji and Power. They crowed and pulled at his arms and legs when he told them he was going out after all the plates were cleaned and put away. They accuse him of going on a date and Aki falls silent, refusing to give them an answer mostly out of the fear that this isn’t a date and a small bit out of the fear that it is.

Angel is sitting at a table with four chairs in a dark corner that’s tucked away from all the other students studying in the library. He’s got a bag of chips on the table and a can of some violently colored energy drink. The textbook from their class sits away from the feast, closed and abandoned.

But the thing that catches Aki’s eye the most is Angel’s hair.

Normally, Angel’s hair is long and in his face and obscuring most of the soft curves of his features. Tonight, though, it’s tied up in a sloppy bun. There are still a few loose pieces that fall have escaped, but most of it is pinned up and out of the way and exposes the long column of his neck.

“Hi,” Angel says when he notices Aki standing there. He blinks at Aki in that sleepy way until Aki shakes himself out of his stupor.

“How’s studying going?” Aki asks. He forces himself to look away from Angel as he drops his bag and pulls out an open chair next to Angel.

“Great.” The chip bag crinkle softly as Angel sticks his hand in. “You’re late.”

“Am I?” Aki’s heart sinks into his stomach.

Angel snorts. “I’m kidding.”

“Are we…” Aki trails off, eyeing the closed book and lack of materials Angel has out. “Are we actually going to study?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Angel asks.

Okay, then.

So, they study.

The material isn’t particularly hard, being a gen-ed course, and Aki hadn’t really been planning on studying at all, but he does take out his book and pretend to work. Angel cracks open his drink and pushes the bag of chips so it’s more between them. They discuss the material a little, but the time is spent mostly trading quiet looks and pointing out other students not doing their work around them.

An hour and a half in, someone sneezes at an ungodly volume.

It’s hilarious and Aki is a little delirious and overtired, but he tries to hold it in for as long as he can. Until he hears Angel snickering under his breath and can’t hold it in anymore. They both start openly laughing, Angel with his head tipped back and Aki watching him with crescent eyes. They laugh until one of the library staff comes over to their table and asks them to quiet down, and even then still struggle to sober up.

“We should get out of here,” Aki says as he presses a fist to his mouth. “We’re not really getting anything done.”

“Tired of me?” Angel asks. His teeth flash as he turns his bright smile towards Aki.

“No. No, no, no.” Aki rushes the words out, panic ebbing on the delirium.

Angel wrinkles his nose, but he’s still smiling. “Good. You promised me dessert.”

“You want that?”

Angel nods.

“Okay. Okay, we can do that.”

They pack up their things quickly and as quietly as they can. Angel states that they want ice cream, so they linger in the library entrance scrolling through Aki’s phone to see if any ice cream places are open or nearby. There isn’t. Instead, they drive to a convenience store nearby by two cartons of ice cream. They eat them with plastic spoons in Aki’s car and talk idly about nothing as they eat.

“Can I try yours?” Angel asks after Aki finishes a story about the last weird thing Denji had eaten.

“My ice cream?” Aki echoes.

Angel nods.

“Sure.”

Unthinkingly, Aki scrapes up a spoonful with his own utensil and holds it out towards Angel. Angel looks at the spoonful for a moment, then up at Aki, then slowly leans forward. He keeps his eyes on Aki as he opens his mouth and takes the spoon into his mouth. Time seems to stop as Aki watches Angel’s lips close around the plastic. It feels more intimate than it should. Angel’s lashes lower as he pulls back, and he brings his hand to cover his mouth as he swallows. Aki feels the car closing in around him. He knows he’s staring, but he can’t bring himself to stop.

“It’s good,” Angel says once he swallows. His cheeks are dusted in a pink blush, one that Aki can make out even in the dim light of the car. He looks enchanting. Aki wants to tell him so, but the words get stuck in his throat. It’s only when Angel laughs softly and looks down to his own quickly melting carton.

“Good,” Aki says, stilted and strangled. “I’m glad.”

They fall into an easy silence after that. After coming from his life at home, the silence between Angel and himself is easy. Aki sighs out a breath and goes back to his own ice cream, ignoring the fact that his spoon had just been Angel’s mouth.

“Aki,” Angel calls again after a while passes. Aki likes the way his name sounds in Angel’s mouth and realizes that Angel doesn’t normally call his name.

“Yeah?” Aki replies. He glances over at Angel again. The other boy has turned to look out the passenger window at the dark parking lot outside.

Angel sighs out a shaky breath. Nerves start to well up in Aki at the sudden shift in Angel’s tone.

“I don’t like people very much. But I—” Angel wedges the ice cream container between his thighs and begins to twist his fingers together. He lets out a shaky breath. “I like you.”

The confession comes out so softly that Aki almost thinks he mishears it.

“You do?”

Angel nods. It’s a jerky, sudden movement. “I’ve um. I’ve never done this before. But I thought you should know.”

Aki frowns. “Never done what?”

“Confessed. Or whatever.”

“Oh.” Aki breathes the word out. “I haven’t either. Been confessed to, that is.”

Angel tips his head towards Aki. There’s a ghost of that smile curling over his lips. “But you’ve confessed to someone before?”

Aki’s face burns. He doesn’t want to talk about that. He coughs lightly and chokes out a few words.

“It’s okay,” Angel says, saving Aki from swallowing his own tongue. He straightens out, slumping down in the passenger seat a little more. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“No, I-, Angel I like you too.” Aki finally manages to get the words out, albeit too loud and a little desperate.

His response openly surprises Angel, and he twists to face Aki, looking at him full on. His pink mouth parts in a small o and he looks up at Angel with something shimmering in his dark eyes that Aki doesn’t dare name.

“I like you,” Aki says again, quieter and surer of himself.

“Good.”

They’re just staring at one another. Aki has no clue what to say or do after this. He feels full, brimming, with something akin to joy. He can’t remember feeling like this; he’s giddy and laughter is going to bubble up out of him. He shouldn’t do that; he should do something like pull Angel into his arms or something. That would be the next step, right? They both like each other, like that, Aki is assuming, and Angel looks so beautiful in the soft light of the parking lot—

“But,” Angel says, and Aki is nervous all over again. “I don’t… I don’t really like people. Or being touched. Or doing a lot. That’s probably a lot for someone, so I’m not really sure what telling you this will even mean.”

“That’s okay,” Aki says, “I don’t mind.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. And I’m okay with that. I just.” Aki swallows. His face feels like it’s on fire and he has to look away from Angel’s somber stare. This is more than he was planning on disclosing tonight, but he’s willing to for Angel’s sake. “I like being with you. You’re smart and you’re so pretty and you’re funny in a weird way and I like that I can be quiet with you. It’s nice.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Angel’s sly smile is back, curling up and catching Aki in the sight.

Aki coughs. “Yeah. I do. Is that… is that okay?”

Angel laughs then and it’s beautiful. Aki likes the sound of his laugh. He likes the way Angel looks when the corners of his eyes crinkle up and his mouth curls up.

“Yeah,” Angel says. “Yeah that’s okay. I think you’re pretty, too.”

There’s probably steam coming out of Aki’s ears from how embarrassing everything about this is, but Angel doesn’t seem to mind.

“Can I take you out sometime? For real?” Aki asks.

“What, this isn’t a good enough date for you?” Angel asks, the laughter in his voice still.

“No, I mean—”

“I know what you mean, don’t worry.” Angel closes up his carton of ice cream and leans his head back against the seat. “Take me on a real date, Aki. Something nice and quiet.”

“Denji, where’s my blue shirt!”

“I’ve never seen it!”

“Yes you have you asked for it last week. The button down!”

“I’ve never seen it!”

Aki growls and kicks at the open dresser drawer. It’s not smart; all the action does is sting. The shirt is no where to be found, although he’s sure Denji has it. Most of Aki’s clothes wander off there.

He’s taking Angel to dinner tonight. Midterms are over and it’s been a little over a week since their conversation in Aki’s car. While they haven’t spent any more time outside of class and a few scattered shifts together, they text. They had before, but it’s more now. Constant. They talk about their days and what they’re up to and Aki has found himself staying up later and later in order to keep texting Angel. There’s a thrill in the morning when Aki the first text from Angel when he wakes up. It’s comforting and Aki doesn’t feel as tired as he used to.

But tonight, he’s taking Angel to dinner at a quiet sushi restaurant to spend time with this boy he really likes, and he’s never really liked someone like this before and he can’t find the blue button down he had been planning to wear.

“Denji totally stole that shirt!” Power shouts from somewhere else in the apartment. “I saw it in his room yesterday.”

“You did not, Power, it’s in your room!” Denji yells back.

Aki knocks his head against the wall and sighs.

Once he collects himself, Aki steps into the hallway and looks between the open doorways of Denji’s and Power’s rooms.

He goes to Power’s.

She’s hanging upside down on her mattress and giving off the appearance of reading a book, only it’s upside down and Aki has never seen her actually pick up a book before. She notices Aki standing in the doorway and loudly flips a page.

“Where’s my shirt, Power.”

“What shirt?”
“The one you said is in Denji’s room.”

“In Denji’s room, of course.”

Aki closes his eyes. He’s fine, though. He’s totally fine.

“Can you get it? Since you know where it is?”

“It’s in Denji’s room.”

Aki knows it’s in Power’s room. He starts to look, braving the piles of clothes that have drifted into all the corners of the room. She squawks when he starts to pick through one pile and slides off the unmade mattress like slick oil.

“Do not look through that one!”

“Then, where’s my shirt?” Aki asks.

Meowy appears out of no where and winds between Aki’s legs. Denji also slinks into the room, chewing loudly on something. He has no qualms about striding through the room and has no issue pushing over another pile and unearths Aki’s missing shirt.

“This one?” Denji asks. He tosses it at Aki.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Power was wearing it around yesterday. She swiped it,” Denji says, then sticks his tongue out at Power.

“I did not!” Power says.

“I don’t care. Don’t take my shit.” Aki steps over Meowy and heads back to his own room as he hears something thump around in Power’s room. Probably Power landing on top of Denji.

The shirt is dirty and smells like Meowy and Power’s weird room. He chucks the item into his laundry hamper as soon as he gets back to his own room. He goes back to searching for a new outfit.

At a quarter to six, Aki leaves to pick up Angel.

He barely makes it past Denji and Power’s badgering. They whine about not being able to come and Aki lets slip that he’s going out to dinner, and they tease him for the sweater that he ended up wearing instead of the blue button down.

“It’s not fair you won’t let us come,” Power says, hanging off Aki’s arm as he makes his way to the door.

“It’s a vegetable only restaurant,” Aki lies. “You wouldn’t like it.”

“I would like it,” Denji insists because he’s disgusting and will inhale anything that looks remotely edible. Usually, it’s not.

“Not these vegetables,” Aki says when he’s finally able to shake the two of them off.

“Yeah right.”

Aki escapes in a mad dash, slamming the door in someone’s face and flying down the stairs. He’s running late now.

Angel doesn’t seem bothered when he silently slides into the passenger seat of Aki’s car. It’s snowing lightly and Angel is bundled up in his scarf and beanie. He looks so cute. Aki tells him such.

“I wear this every day,” Angel says, and Aki wants to say that yeah, Angel looks cute every day, but can’t get the words past his lips. Instead, he throws the car into reverse and backs out of the dorm parking lot.

The area the restaurant is in is busy and Aki has to park on the street a few blocks over from where they’re going. Angel drifts close to Aki’s side as they walk. He imagines reaching out to hold Angel’s hand if Angel was anyone else, but he’s okay with just the warm presence of Angel by his side.

The restaurant is small and a little cramped, but in a cozy way. When they arrive, the host greets them and takes them to a table in the back that has a candle in the center flickering softly. They sit across from one another, and Angel unwinds himself from his scarf. The action surprises Aki, pleasantly. He watches Angel’s hair tumbles around his face and wonders if it would be soft under his fingertips.

“You’re staring,” Angel says.

Aki doesn’t feel embarrassed for being caught. It feels like he’s been given permission. He grins.

They order their food and eat. Angel offers a bit of his dish and Aki offers a bite back in turn. His foot knocks against Angel’s once on accident and Angel’s head snaps up to stare at Aki. Aki rushes out an apology, but Angel just smirks and knocks his foot back in response.

When the meal is over, Aki puts in a to-go order to bring home for Power and Denji and pays for the food. Angel sits back in his seat as Aki talks to the server, watching Aki with a strange look. Aki pretends not to notice. The depth of his stare sets Aki on fire. The server brings the takeout orders out in a plastic bag and the two of them stand to leave.

Angel walks just as close on the way back to Aki’s car. They’re approaching their parking spot when Angel catches Aki’s pinky with his own. The contact makes Aki jump and he looks down at Angel. Angel is staring straight ahead, pretending it didn’t happen. Aki does the same. He squeezes Angel’s finger curled around his own when the reach the car. Angel squeezes back, then lets him go. Aki feels like his whole body is on fire.

“So, when do you bring me home to meet your family?” Angel asks as Aki stretches between the front seats to set the takeout bag in the back.

“Denji and Power?” Aki asks. He stares at the pile of hoodies that have been left crumped in the backseat from his roommates. He’s never thought of them as his family before, not really. But he supposes that they are. He doesn’t have anyone else besides them left, now.

“Yeah.”

Aki slides back into his seat. He thrusts the key into the ignition and twists. “You’d want to?”

“Yeah.”

“Whenever you want.” Aki tries to sound nonchalant about it, but the idea of bringing Angel home, to the place he lives, to his room and to the sloppy living room he shares with Denji and Power fills him with a thrill he wasn’t expecting. He thinks about Angel meeting Meowy and picking her up, burying his face in her white fur, and Aki wants. He wants.

“Tonight?”

“Tonight?” Aki looks over at Angel in surprise. Angel is looking back, serious as death. “Yeah. If you want. But I have to warn you; Denji and Power can be a lot. I’m not sure you’d like them.”

Angel hums. He picks at a piece of lint on his jeans. Aki tracks the movement with his eyes, then shakes his head and turns his attention to pulling out of the parking spot.

“Maybe not tonight, then. I’m pretty tired.”

“Too much fun?” Aki merges into the street and begins to drive. Silvery white streetlight streak across Angel’s face when Aki glances over at him.

“Yeah. It was fun. I have fun with you.”

“Oh.” Aki swallows. “Yeah, good. I had fun too.”

Angel reaches an arm out to play with the radio. He never seems satisfied with what’s playing in Aki’s car, even though he’s the only one who changes it. He fiddles with the dial for a few minutes until he’s satisfied. Aki watches the road. Campus is quiet when they arrive. Aki knows the way to Angel’s dorm like the back of his hand now. He pulls as close to the front door as he can and shifts the car into park. The only sounds in the car are the quiet hum of the engine settling and a dreamy pop song from the radio.

“This is the part where you kiss me,” Angel says after a moment passes and Aki jolts. Angel snickers.

“Is that what you want?” Aki asks. He takes in Angel’s pink cheeks in the dim light and the way his lips curve. He would like to kiss Angel very much. He’s been trying not to think about it, but now that Angel’s mentioned it, the idea is pulsing through his head like a siren.

“Maybe one day,” Angel says softly. He still reaches out towards Aki, though and Aki feels his breath catch in his chest.

Angel just lightly takes a piece of Aki’s bangs between his fingers and tugs. The action is devastatingly tender, and Aki thinks he might explode.

“I’m sorry,” Angel says as his hand drops away. Aki itches to catch it but doesn’t.

“Don’t be.”

Angel squints at him a little, as if trying to see if Aki is being honest. He is, and he hopes Angel can tell. When he’s satisfied, Angel thanks Aki again for the dinner and pops the door open.

“I’ll see you later,” Aki says to him as Angel steps out. Angel nods and smiles, then shuts the door in his wake. Aki doesn’t drive away until he sees Angel’s small frame disappear around a corner through the glass on the dorm door.

It’s not often that Aki sees Denji on campus, but today happens to be one of those days.

They ran into each other in between academic buildings and ended up walking to the library together. Aki doesn’t think Denji’s ever set foot in the building before, mostly because he knows Denji, but also because Denji keeps asking Aki how many books he thinks are in the building or of anyone actually picks out books and will stop his work (work being folding assignment sheets into paper airplanes) to stare in awe at the room they’re sitting in. They’ve been here for almost an hour and while Denji isn’t incredibly focused on any schoolwork, he has asked Aki three or four questions about his assignment, so far. Aki is getting started on a paper that’s due next week and is surprised how much he’s been able to get done and how little Denji has really interrupted him.

“What happens if someone starts a fire in here?” Denji asks. “What would happen to all the books.”

Aki doesn’t look away from his laptop. “Burn, probably. Do not start a fire in here.”

“I wasn’t gonna!” Denji slumps down in his seat across from Aki. Aki raises his gaze to look at him over the edge of his laptop, he catches sight of something just past Denji’s ear.

It’s Angel, shuffling through the library doors with a heavy looking textbook in his arms.

Aki is frozen, caught between wanting to call out to the other boy to get his attention and wanting to run over and help him with the book. He doesn’t do either, but it doesn’t matter, because Angel spots him anyway and he’s making his way over to the table he and Denji are sitting at.

“Hi,” Angel says, accented by the thunderous clap of the book slapping down on the table. Denji jumps at the sound.

“Jesus.” Denji’s eyes go wide, and he whips around to look up at Angel. Angel blinks at him and Denji’s eyes go wider. “Pretty.”

An odd thrum of jealousy flares in Aki’s chest at Denji’s remark. He reminds himself that Denji probably thinks Angel is a girl and will fall for any pretty face he sees. Still. He wants Denji to know that Angel isn’t one of those girls.

“Thank you,” Angel says. His nose wrinkles a little and he’s looking at Denji like he’s a particularly fascinating bug. Aki supposes that Denji is, in a way, just that. Angel’s gaze on Denji lingers for a moment, then turns to Aki. “Can I sit?”

“Yeah, of course.” Aki scrambles to clear the paper airplanes strewn about the table. Denji makes a sound of protest, which Aki ignores. “Angel, this is my roommate Denji.”

“You mean your best friend.”

“You are not my best friend.”

Angel slides into the open seat between Aki and Denji. The thud of the bookbag he drops on the floor is muffled by the carpet. “Nice to meet you, Denji.”

“Wait, are you a dude?” Denji slaps his hands on the table and Aki hisses at him to quiet down.

“Yes.”

“Shit,” Denji says. He slumps back against his chair and looks like he was just told his cat is dying. Aki barely suppresses an eyeroll. “That’s not fair.”

“Why?” Angel’s eyebrows tilt together in confusion.

“Ignore him,” Aki says. He has the urge to tell Denji to just pack up and leave, since he’s not doing anything productive.

“How can a guy be that pretty?” Denji asks in answer to Angel’s question. “Like, you look like a girl.”

“Denji,” Aki says, warns, “stop.”

“Wait.” Denji looks between Aki and Angel like the puzzle pieces have matched up in his cottony head. “Is this who you’ve been texting all the time? Your mystery person? Your secret boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Aki says at the same time Angel says, “Why am I a secret?”

Fuck.

“You’re not,” Aki says in a rush.

Angel’s smiling at him, eying him from the side, and Aki realizes he’s being teased.

Denji doesn’t pick up on it.

“Yes, you are,” he says to Angel. “He’s always sneaking off to answer messages from someone in his room and smiling at his phone and he leaves at night to go meet you and won’t let Power and me come.”

“I brought you leftovers. You don’t need to come with me everywhere I go.”

“I’ll be your secret. I don’t mind.”

Angel’s words set Aki on fire, and he wants to melt into the dingy carpet of the library floor. Denji does notice this, gagging.  

“Gross. I’m leaving. Flirt with your pretty not-boyfriend in private, please.” Denji scrapes up his papers and unceremoniously shoves them into his bag.

Aki and Angel watch him hurry out of the library, leaving the two of them alone. Angel settles into Denji’s absence first, settling his arms on the table and resting his chin in the nest there with his face turned towards Aki.

“He seems nice.”

Aki scoffs. “He is.”

“What are you doing later?” Angel asks.

 “I have class in an hour. Why?” Aki glances at the time on his laptop. Fifty minutes.

“And after?”

“Nothing. Why, you want to do something?”

“I could meet the rest of your family.”

Family again.

“Power?”

“Denji doesn’t seem as bad as you said the other night.”

“Well,” Aki says. He worries his lip. He wants Angel to come over. He hasn’t stopped thinking about it since their dinner the other night.

“I don’t have to come, if you don’t want me to.” The corners of Angel’s eyes turn down at this. The sight makes Aki’s chest tighten.

“No, I do,” Aki says. “You should. Come over. I want that. That would be good.”

“Great. You can pick me up after class.”

Aki doesn’t get another word in before Angel is picking up his heavy textbook and slipping away from the table.

Aki is surprised to find Angel waiting for him outside his classroom when it lets out later that evening. He doesn’t know how Angel found out where his class was, but he’s glad to see him. He slows a little to meet Angel, but Angel just falls into step beside him, and they head towards the exit.

“How was class?” Angel asks, a simple, benign question. Aki hikes his bag up a litter higher on his shoulder.

“Fine,” he answers. He looks down at Angel. The top of his head looks so inviting. He stuffs his hands in the pocket of his coat to stop himself from patting it. “Are you sure you want to come over?”

Angel tips his head back to look up Aki. His lashes fan out across his cheeks. “They’re important to you. I want to know them.”

Having Angel sitting in the passenger seat of his car is becoming a normalcy, one more little constant adding to Aki’s life. He fits in there. Aki wonders what Angel will look like in his home, in his apartment already filled up to the brim.

“I’m surprised you haven’t met them at work, already,” Aki says as he pulls into his parking spot behind the building.

“I only work shifts with you,” Angel says, tapping the glass of the window with a blunt fingernail.

“Really?” Aki balks at this new piece of information. They don’t work a lot of shifts together, only in the mornings before their class.

Angel just nods. Aki doesn’t press for any more information.

The apartment is on the third floor. They climb up the stairs in step with one another. Denji and Power should already be home. Aki should have thought ahead to pick up food for them, but he supposes it’s too late now. He fits his key in the door out of habit, despite it almost never getting locked. Sure enough, he locks the door and has to unlock it before it opens. Beside him, Angel snickers.

Power is sprawled out on the floor playing a video game. It’s a farming game that has caught her attention for the past few weeks, which is a surprise to Aki. Usually, she prefers things that are violent and fast-paced.

“Aki’s home!” She shouts to no one in particular without taking her eyes off the crops she’s watering.

“Power, this is my friend Angel,” Aki says to her anyway.

This catches her attention, and she looks over her shoulder. She stares, expressionless, at Angel for a moment, then a manic grin breaks out over her face.

“Aki’s mystery date!” She crows. “Denji told me about you.”

“Hello Power,” Angel says. He gives Power the same critical stare he’d given Denji in the library, like he wants to pick Power apart and figure out how she works. Aki, too, would love to do that one day.

“So, things are getting pretty serious, huh?” Power waggles her eyebrows and sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. Aki wants to shove it back in between her teeth. “If you’re already bringing your beau home.”

“Yes,” Angel says simply.

Aki keeps his mouth shut this time. He doesn’t want to deny Angel a second time today.

He likes letting Angel speak for him.

“Oh, the pretty boy is here,” Denji says, appearing out of nowhere and looking like he just woke from the dead. He scratches his head and musses up his already ratty hair. “What’s up?”

Aki doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he gives Angel a tour. There’s not much to show, but Angel doesn’t seem bored or judgmental. He nods politely at each room Aki shows him and spends an embarrassingly long time in Aki’s room, picking up random objects and Aki gives lame explanations for them. He wishes he had thought to do laundry this morning, but Angel doesn’t comment on the pant leg hanging over the edge of the basket so it’s okay.

They end up sitting on the couch, watching Power play her game while Denji narrates and tells Power she’s playing it wrong. Power tells him he’s never played so he doesn’t know. Angel sits next to Aki and the closeness of his body buzzes under Aki’s skin.

In the end, Aki orders takeout. They have pizza delivered because Aki can’t be bothered to leave the comfortable warmth of the full apartment. Meowy sits curled on Angel’s lap and his thin fingers stroke over her fur as she sleeps. Aki can’t help but wonder what those fingers would feel like stroking over his own fur. He’s thankful the delivery arrives, and he can go answer the door before that train of thought gets derailed.

Power pauses her game, and they eat on the floor. Aki cracks open a beer and lets Power and Denji fill up the silence with their arguing over the last piece. He watches Angel chew on a string of cheese out of the corner of his eye. When the food is gone, Angel helps Aki clear away the mess and his shoulder bumps into Aki’s as they stand in front of the sink, washing and drying dishes respectively.

“You’re too dramatic about them,” Angel says softly.

“They’re being good for you,” Aki tells him and Angel snorts. Aki likes the way his nose wrinkles. Cute.

After, Aki goes to the bathroom and comes back to the three of them laughing about something. He can only assume it’s about him, and it’s confirmed when Power points at him and doubles over laughing about something.

“What’s so funny?” Aki asks as he settles back down on the floor next to Angel.

“Power and Denji were telling me about how you always look displeased,” Angel says. He reaches up and presses at the wrinkle between Aki’s eyebrows. Aki feels his frown melt away at Angel’s touch. “I think they’re right.”

“That’s just my face.” The words come out breathy and weak and Aki flushes at the sound.

“I know. I like it.”

Denji convinces Power to pause her game and they put a movie on. It’s one Aki has seen before and lets the action sounds fade away into the background as Angel stretches out beside him. There’s a pile of blankets surrounding the four of them as they watch. He’s hazy and warm and barely recognizes the movie ending and Power putting on another one. Angel’s fingers twitch on top of the blanket he’s under and Aki rolls his face over to look at him. He’s beautiful, bathed in the flashing neon lights of the television. He curls on his side, each breath bringing him closer and closer to Aki. Aki holds himself still as death.

The second movie ends and everyone else is too tired to put another on. Aki stays still. White light washes over the living room.

“‘M tired,” Angel mumbles, eyes falling closed.

“Want me to take you home?” Aki’s mouth hardly moves as he speaks the words softly, hoping Angel doesn’t hear, hoping Angel doesn’t go. He’s on his side now too, inches away from Angel, warm breath on his face. Angel makes a soft, noncommittal noise.

They lay like that for a while. Denji is snoring on the other side of the room.

Angel’s eyes flutter open, and he looks at Aki with dark irises, considering. At this angle, the freckles splashed across his nose look like flecks of stars.

“You want to kiss me,” Angel says.

It’s not a question, just the truth acknowledged. Aki does. More than anything. He curls his fingers into his palm, digs his nails into the flesh there.

“Yeah.”

“What if I never wanted that?”

“That’s okay.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Aki releases the grip on his palm and stretches his fingers out, pressing them into the floor beneath him. “I want you like this, too.”

Angel is silent for a moment. His gaze ticks down and Aki wants to tell him he’s okay with whatever Angel will give him. He’ll give whatever Angel will take.

“Can I sleep here?” Angel asks finally.

“Please,” Aki replies. He can’t imagine moving. Doesn’t think he could bring himself to try.

“Okay.”

Angel shifts. Through the blankets, Aki feels Angel’s knee press against his thigh. Sturdy, constant.

“Angel,” Aki calls after another while.

Angel drags his gaze back up to Aki. Gosh, he looks so pretty. Aki wants to tuck him up inside his ribs and shield him away from everything and everyone. He doesn’t, though.

Instead, he closes his eyes. Angel’s face is still there, in the darkness of his eyelids.

“You’re so lovely,” Aki says.

He keeps his eyes closed, squeezes them tighter when he feels a soft fingertip track the line of his jaw, up over his chin, pressing against the fat of his bottom lip. The hand slips away from is face and Aki silently mourns the loss until he feels it worm beneath the blanket he’s wrapped in. It tracks downward until it finds Aki’s own hand and then five full fingers are slipping between his own. Angel presses their palms together and Aki waits for Angel to tighten the grip before squeezing back.

They fall asleep like that, on the floor of the living room under the cover of blankets with the white glow of the television screen and their foreheads almost touching but not quite, with their fingers knitted together.

Snow finally comes at the end of the semester.

It’s bitterly cold and Angel wraps himself in even more layers than usual. He refuses to take them off at work, standing behind the counter looking more like one of the sleeping bags they sell in the store than an actual associate.

Aki is reorganizing some folded shirts that got unfolded somehow between his closing shift last night and this morning when he came in listening to Angel talk with a customer. He’ll probably go and save Angel from them soon because Angel doesn’t like talking to customers on a good day and this particular person seems to be asking every question under the sun relating to their pocketknife selection in the store.

However, Aki is selfish, and he likes to listen to the bored drone of Angel’s voice as it reverberates through the shop.

Nothing has really progressed between them since the night Angel slept over. There have been a few more nights where Angel will come over and just be with Aki and Denji and Power. Somehow, Angel just fits in with the rest of them. There was even once where Aki spotted Denji and Angel walking with one another across campus. Aki was in a rush to work on time and wasn’t able to stop to say hi, but the sight alone had made Aki strangely… happy.

Still, the end of the semester is coming up and Aki can’t help the softly building nerves at the ambiguity of everything that’s been building up between them.

The customer pays and leaves before Aki needs to head over. Once they’re out of the store, Angel lets out a long suffering sigh and sinks to the floor behind the counter. Aki huffs out a laugh, then rounds the edge of the corner to find Angel flat on his back.

“That was horrible,” he says.

“I’m sorry.” Aki stands over him.

Unthinking, Aki holds out a hand to help Angel back up. Angel’s few and far between touches have become a little more frequent. There’s never any reason to the way he gives out his touches. Aki realizes his mistake and starts to pull away, only to be stopped by Angel grabbing onto his thumb and tugging at Aki until he lays down on the floor as well.

“Why didn’t you save me?” Angel asks.

“I was just about to,” Aki says, because it’s the truth. “But sometimes it’s fun to watch you work.”

“Very funny.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“Ew.” Angel rolls his face away, but Aki catches the pink blossom over his cheeks. Still looking away, Angel moves on. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Studying, maybe.” Aki should study, at least. “Want to come over?”

“I was thinking you could come to mine. You haven’t been since you showed up there unannounced with a hot chocolate back in the beginning of the semester like a creep.”

“You thought that was creepy?” Suddenly, all of Aki’s long forgotten fears about that day are back.

Angel just laughs, though. “It was weird, but I liked it. I had a big crush on you then.”

“You did?”

“Mn. And then you showed up like my knight in shining armor.”

The thought has crossed his mind before, but he thinks he knows now, lying on the ground behind the counter of the place they work at, that Aki is love with this boy.

“Yeah,” Aki says, fighting through his smile. “Let’s go to your place.”

The hours following track like molasses. It goes even slower once their shift ends and their class ends, and he and Angel have to go their separate ways. He has a second shift later in the afternoon that he works with Denji and Power and that one is way slower than the first. There’s not even any customers and he ends up sending Power home, much to Denji’s chagrin. The two of them go home after the store closes and Aki wrestles with him in their apartment for the first shower.

Under the hot spray of the water, Aki thinks back to that first, and only, time he went to Angel’s dorm. It feels like he’s at last getting the chance to be a part of Angel’s life, instead of Angel just becoming a part of his.

He lingers longer in the shower than he usually does, letting the water rush over his shoulder and scald his skin. It’s not until Denji starts banging on the door and yelling at Aki to get out of the water that he himself pays for. Aki relents, eventually, cutting the water and grabbing a towel that he belatedly realizes that is not his own to dry off with.

“Did Angel break up with you?” Denji asks when Aki opens the door.

“What?”

“You never take that long in the bathroom. Are you moping?”

“No, I’m not moping. Shut up. I’m going over to Angel’s place.”

“Ohhhh.” Denji nods very sagely. “I see. Be safe. Have fun.”

He gives an exaggerated wink and slams the door in Aki’s face before he can come up with anything witty to say back.

Shaking his head, Aki heads to his room and changes. He doesn’t take too much stock into his appearance; it’s late and he’s tired and only has the energy to dig out a fresh pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

By some miracle, Aki is able to slip out of the apartment without any conflict than Meowy giving a short cry as he gets to the door.

It’s snowing harder when Aki gets to Angel’s dorm building. He has to stand out in the snow as he waits for Angel to come down and let him in, since it’s after hours. Aki’s shivering by the time Angel appears in the doorway. He pushes it open for Aki and Aki hurries inside.

Angel stares up at Aki for a moment after they greet each other, then stretches up on the tips of his toes to brush a bit of the wet snow that’s accumulated on the top of Aki’s head. The action is so endearing that Aki ducks his head to hide his blush (and make it easier for Angel to reach the top of his head).

“Come on,” Angel says when he lands back on his feet. Without another word, Angel strides down the hall. Aki follows.

Angel’s room isn’t as breathtaking as Aki had been building it up to be in his mind, but it’s nice. Simple, in a way that’s undeniably Angel. There aren’t any pictures of people, but Aki didn’t expect that. There are a few vinyl records mounted on the wall, all albums that Aki recognizes as Angel’s favorite. His twin sized bed is made up neatly with lots of blankets and pillows and a few plushies. The whole thing looks incredibly nice to sink into. There’s a television set up with games and a dvd player and the desk in the corner looks relatively unusable, thanks to the piles of papers and books and assortment of other random items covering the surface. The only use the desk seems to provide is the lamp that provides the sole light in the room, save for the string lights draped around Angel’s bed.

“Here it is,” Angel says, and he doesn’t look at Aki as he says it, just moves across the room to perch on the edge of the bed, but Aki can pick up the hint of nerves in his voice.

“I like it,” Aki says. He takes off his shoes and then hovers. The natural course of action would be to follow Angel to the bed, but he doesn’t want to do so without an invitation. Angel pats the mattress next to him. The mattress sinks under Aki’s weight as he settles, pitching Angel into his side. Aki spreads his hands out on the blankets underneath him, relishing in the softness of them.

“Sit back,” Angel instructs. Aki does. He shifts back on the bed until his back hits the wall. Cold seeps through the fabric of Aki’s hoodie through the cinderblock stone. He glances up at Angel, who’s face is screwed up in concentration.

“Are you okay?” Aki asks. His pulse quickens and a bout of nerves wash over him.

“Yes.” Angel cuts the word out of his mouth. He’s looking down at his lap. One leg is folded up on the mattress while the other still hangs off the bed. Angel’s jaw works likes he’s chewing on what he wants to say next, but they never come out.

“Okay,” Aki says, hoping that will help calm whatever’s going on inside Angel’s head.

It’s quiet for a moment, just the sounds of other residents moving around inside their own rooms. Aki lets himself settle against wall, stretching his legs out in front of himself. There’s a stuffed bear sitting next to him, so he pulls it into his lap as he waits. He strokes his fingers through the soft fur and watches Angel out of the corner of his eye.

“I want to try something,” Angel says finally, rushing the words out in one, quick breath.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Angel twists to face him. His light eyebrows are pinched together and there’s a crease in his forehead. Aki smooths his hand over the bears forehead in response. Angel glances down at the bear in Aki’s hands and his frown deepens.

“What are you doing with that?” Angel asks.

“Oh, sorry.” Quickly, Aki sets the bear back where he found it.

The serious look on Angel’s face cracks a little. He’s definitely biting back a grin.

“What do you want to try?” Aki prompts.

“Oh.” The watery smile is gone quickly. “Don’t move. Or do anything.”

Aki doesn’t.

It happens quickly. So quickly that Aki doesn’t realize what’s happening until Angel has swung himself into Aki’s lap. The movement startles him, and he twitches with the urge to jump at the new pressure on his lap.

Angel’s all over him. His leg’s frame Aki’s thighs and his hands settle on Aki’s shoulders and his hair tumbles forward over his shoulders and floods Aki with the scent of Angel’s sweet shampoo.

Aki’s mouth goes dry.

“Is this okay?” Angel asks. His voice is so low, and his breath is so warm on Aki’s face.  

“Yeah,” Aki says, feeling breathless and wild. “Yeah. So okay.”

Angel shifts on Aki’s lap, getting comfortable. Aki doesn’t know what to do with his hands; they’re just hovering above the place where his and Angel’s legs are touching.

“You can touch me,” Angel decides, noticing Aki’s struggle.

“Where’s good?”

Angel hums for a moment. “My waist. Wait, no. My thighs.”

Aki settles his hands on Angel’s thighs.

“This good?” Aki asks, cautious.

Angel considers the question for a moment, then nods.

They sit like that for a bit, until their breaths start to come in tandem. The glow from the desk lamp looks like a halo behind Angel’s head and Aki thinks that time might have stopped.

“Can you kiss me?” Angel asks then.

Aki balks a bit at the request. “You want me to?”

Angel just nods.

There have only been a handful of people that Aki has kissed in his life, and it’s been a long while since he kissed anyone. He doesn’t know if Angel has ever been kissed before and he wants this one to be good. Good enough.

Aki lets out a shaky exhale and then leans forward. Angel’s breath hitches and Aki pauses. They’re so, so close. Their noses just barely bump.

“Okay?” Aki asks again.

“Yeah,” Angel says. They’re so close that Aki can taste the words as it comes from Angel’s lips. “Yeah, just do it.”

“But you want?”

“Yeah. So much.”

That’s enough for Aki. He closes the short distance between them and presses his lips to Angel’s. It’s hardly a kiss, barely a touch, but he doesn’t want to push, doesn’t want to take more than Angel will give. Angel gasps a bit at the touch and Aki swallows down the sound.

Then, he pulls back.

“Okay?” Aki asks, leaning back to get a look at Angel’s face. His eyes are downcast, lashes fluttering against his cheeks. He’s watching Aki’s mouth, Aki realizes. Angel’s chest is heaving and he’s staring at Aki’s mouth and that’s enough for Aki.

Angel slides off Aki’s lap and it’s like the whole thing never happened.

Almost.

Almost, except Aki can feel the press of Angel kissing him back and the weight of his body sitting on his lap.

Almost, except Angel’s smiling just a little bit and Aki can see the pink staining his cheeks even with the way he’s let his hair fall to try and hide.

“Do you want to watch something?” Angel asks and Aki is struck by how affected by one small kiss Angel sounds.

“Sure.” Aki’s own voice doesn’t sound much better. His heart roars in his ears and he can’t seem to quell the waves.

Angel slides off the bed to find the television remote and flips through a few platforms to find something monotonous and benign to put on. Once he does, he climbs back onto the bed and pulls a blanket over himself and Aki. Their thighs press together under the blankets.

“Thank you,” Angel whispers as the movie starts.

Aki looks down at him, this boy that he loves, and smiles. He swallows down his nerves and tries his luck, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Angel’s head like he’s wanted to all semester. Angel doesn’t say anything about it, just presses his shoulder a little closer against Aki’s. He even leans forward to let Aki wrap his arm around his shoulder.

It’s nice.