Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s still beating. 

The heart is still beating. 

Nathan isn’t sure if it's actually beating in a, like, Real Life kind of way, or if it’s just a weird hearteater thing. The faces of Annalise and Gabriel give away nothing concerning the beating-ness of the heart, but its general existence hasn’t gone unnoticed. He can see it in their expressions: Gabriel’s for once vulnerable, mask gone, bravado-less. Annalise wears her heart on her sleeve, always has, her vulnerability is to be expected. They all three share the same cocktail of shock, horror, exhaustion- and, now, realisation. Because beating or not, lying amidst the remains of Soul O’Brien, the heart is overwhelmingly there . 

Nathan knows what he’s supposed to do with it. Hearteater, it’s in the name. But the thought of actually bringing the beating(?) heart of his girlf- of Annalise’s dad to his lips and biting it fills him with nausea. So he sits there, staring at it. And it keeps staring at him, beating, as if to say Hi! I’m here, Nathan! Look at me! Eat me! It’s your birthright or something! 

It’s just- fuck. 

Surprisingly, it’s Annalise who speaks first. 

“Eat it.” 

“What?” Nathan startles. His first thought is does she know what she’s asking me to do? And his second thought is of course she does, idiot, it’s her fucking dad’s heart.

“Eat it.” Annalise repeats. “You have to, Nathan.” 

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He has to eat it. 

“No- I, I can’t-“ 

“ Nathan. ” Gabriel’s voice is firm. 

Annalise picks the heart up, holding it out to Nathan, and blood drips off of it onto her hand. Down her arm. She squeezes it a little too tight, and more comes spurting out of one of the stupid tubes. Annalise pales, and Nathan is sure the wave of nausea swelling inside him can’t compare to hers. He takes the heart from her shaking hand, pushing the churning feeling down. All those powers, the Ozannes, everyone who lost their lives because of Soul- because of him- will live on through this heart. He has to, because it’s the least he can do. 

He bites it.  

Fuck.

He’s swallowed it, and the only thing going through his mind right now is don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t throw up . It’s tough, muscle, and the taste coats his mouth and throat and stomach. His hands- no, his whole body is shaking, because he’s just taken a bite of a person’s heart and holy fuck what has he done . 

“Does he have to eat all of it?” Annalise’s voice is a little fuzzy, muffled. Nathan’s ears are filled with heartbeats. Voices and birds chirping and all that other atmospheric shit takes second place. 

“I don’t know. I think so, perhaps?” 

Annalise gulps, and Gabriel’s hand comes to rest on Nathan’s ankle. His other wraps around Nathan’s wrist, gently moving the heart back up to Nathan’s mouth. 

“Annalise, turn around.” Gabriel commands, and Annalise opens her mouth to protest. 

“No, I-”

“Turn around, please.” Nathan agrees thickly, and she complies. 

Nathan closes his own eyes as Gabriel coaxes him into taking a second bite, and then another. And then the heart is gone, and Nathan is shaking and Gabriel is shaking and Annalise is still turned around, her face pressed into her knees. Gabriel releases Nathan’s wrist and moves his hand to Annalise’s back. She jumps, head whipping around, a panicked look in her eyes. For a moment it’s like they’re back in Wolfhagen, but then she relaxes when she sees the two of them, and the heart’s absence. She stills, and promptly throws up on Nathan’s shoes. To which he can only say, fair enough . She did just kill her dad and sit there while Nathan ate his heart. 

The beating in Nathan’s ears is beginning to fade, and he can concentrate on Gabriel’s blend of cursing and consoling as he cleans the sick off of Nathan’s shoes. Nathan himself stays still. He isn’t sure if he’d even be able to move if he tried. But Gabriel, perfect, capable Gabriel is moving, and rubbing Annalise’s back as she retches- over the bushes, this time. Nathan watches them, both his hearing and vision back to regular capacity. He still feels as though he’s in a daze, though. Like he just finished an exam that he’s certain he failed. Except it’s not an exam, what a stupid analogy, it’s so much more, and he’s overwhelmed. Fuck, he thinks again. Fuck. 

Annalise’s retching stops. 

“Are you finished?” Gabriel asks, and she nods, straightening up. Gabriel’s hand does not leave her back. 

Nathan blinks, and then they’re standing in front of him, Gabriel holding his hand out for Nathan to take. There’s something in his eyes that Nathan can’t quite place, but he doesn’t think he likes it. He’s sad, maybe. Gabriel shouldn’t be sad. 

“We need to go.” Gabriel says. Nathan stares at him. 

“ We need to go .” He repeats. Then he sighs, grabs Nathan by the armpits, and lifts him to his feet with more strength than Nathan realised he was capable of. 

“At least one of you two idiots better be able to walk,” Gabriel tells them, “Because there’s no way I’m carrying you both.” 

“I can walk.” Nathan says, taking a step. He takes another, just to prove that he can, but stumbles and all of a sudden Gabriel’s arms are back around him. Holding him up. Huh. 

“You’re an egg.” Annalise announces, and hauls Nathan’s arm over her shoulder. Gabriel does the same.

They set off all linked together, and it’s like before when they were doing all that love stuff. When they were certain Nathan was going to d-

“I drank my dad’s blood.” 

“I figured,” Gabriel responds, “Seeing as you are still alive, thank God.” His grip around Nathan’s shoulders tightens for a second. 

“No, thank Marcus Edge.” Nathan corrects, and Gabriel scoffs. 

Annalise laughs and it’s like music. Nathan can’t help but feel guilty that she’s the one supporting him right now. She was throwing up, like, five minutes ago. Not to mention that she decimated her dad . Nathan only ate the heart of a man he hated. Annalise killed a person she loved. Holy shit , they’re all going to need therapy. So fucking much therapy.

“Where,” Nathan gasps, “On Earth are we even going?” 

“We’ve been walking for years,” Annalise chimes in, “And it’s all just forest. You’d think we would have found some sort of civilisation by now.” 

Annalise’s exaggeration really didn’t feel far off the truth. Maybe it was all the walking they’d done in the past, um, week? ( how long has it been? ), that was making the hours blur together. Or maybe it was that post-dad-murdering-heart-eating haze that still lingered. You know, the trauma response stuff. Nathan is still hooked in between Gabriel and Annalise. He didn’t so much need their support physically anymore, and they seemed to have noticed- they’re no longer propping him up, per se, but it was clear none of them were going to change positions. There’s a sort of feeling that if any one of them goes longer than five minutes without each other’s touch they will crumple into a heap on the ground. 

“I have a place nearby.” 

“You have a place nearby,” Nathan repeats, incredulous. “How. Do you always . Have a place nearby?” 

“I have a lot of places.” Gabriel shrugs, and leaves it at that. 

“He has a lot of places.” Nathan parrots at Annalise, who grins. 

“I don’t think he’s actually real,” She stage whispers, “Maybe he’s our guardian angel. No regular person has that many places.” 

“Oh, shut up, you two.” Gabriel sighs, laughter etched into his words under a top layer of exasperation. “And I don’t believe it can be said that any of us are regular people .”

They laugh at that, even though it’s not really funny. There’s too much truth in the words that if they don’t laugh at it they will realise the sadness of it all. They will have to grieve the loss of their ability to just be normal because everything’s changed. It’s irreversible and they know it. Annalise killed Soul, Nathan ate his heart, and everything changed forever. There’s no going back now. Fuck. 

Chapter Text

Once again, Gabriel muses, he has no idea what he’s doing. 

It hasn’t been like this for a long time. Bar those first few months post-Mercury, Gabriel’s entire adult life has been so full of surety . Not stability- never stability, and with his luck he won’t ever find any- but surety. He’s been sure of his reality, his life, who he is. Even with half his memories missing, half the names in his book faceless, he’s been sure of himself. Of what he wants. Of what he’s going to do next. But now- now, with Nathan and Annalise a whole bucketload of extra trauma, he doesn’t think he knows anything. 

“Annalise was right, you know.” Nathan’s voice is quiet and hoarse. None of them have talked in a while. Their brains are loud enough. 

“Are you sure? Annalise is not often right.” 

There’s a gasp of outrage at that, and a shove (which- how did she even do that? Gabriel is separated from her by Nathan, his arms still around both their shoulders, so shoving shouldn’t be quite so easy), predecessors for an indignant but exasperated, 

“I'm plenty right.” 

“Yes, I’m sure you are, darling,” Gabriel acquiesces, then turns to Nathan, “What is she right about?” 

“That you’re our guardian angel.” 

Huh. Not what he was expecting, to be honest. He’s not sure how to reply to that. 

“It’s true,” Annalise chimes in, “We probably wouldn’t be alive right now without you.” 

“Oh, there’s no probably about it. You two definitely wouldn’t be alive right now without me.” 

Thank God his voice is back- even that brief moment where he had nothing to say was awkward. Out of place. 

Annalise and Nathan laugh at that. Then, another beat of silence. 

“Well,” Nathan starts, voice still hoarse but less quiet, not so timid, “Thank you.” 

“Thank you.” Annalise echoes.

And again, Gabriel is stumped. Because these two people, they trust him, and he trusts them. They love him, and he loves them. Nathan and Annalise. And him, Gabriel. They’re alive, and they’re together. And maybe now everything’s different and Gabriel isn’t sure of who he is or what he’s doing, but he has one thing. They are one thing. Nathan and Annalise and Gabriel. No matter how disorientated he is, he knows he has to protect them, their life, and their love. 

He tells them, “Just doing my job.” 

They carjack someone. It was an inevitability, honestly, they couldn’t keep walking forever. It wasn’t hard, either. It turns out convincing people to give you their car is relatively easy when you’re covered in blood and looking just generally dangerous. Plus, the memory powder might’ve helped. 

Gabriel wrangles Nathan and Annalise into the backseat. They don’t want to seem to let go of each other, and Annalise does not currently seem able to drive, anyway. Gabriel has it handled. He has it handled he has it handled he has it handled. He knows where to go.  

And he does know where to go, surprisingly. Muscle memory, perhaps. He drives on autopilot, mind preoccupied and hands white-knuckled at the steering wheel. The radio is playing some American pop song. He entertains the idea that maybe that’s a little strange, considering that they’re in Germany. He doesn’t recognise the song, but it’s nice. Easy listening. He decides that he likes it. 

He’s not thinking about Mercury. He’s not thinking about Annalise killing Soul, or about Nathan eating the heart. He’s not thinking about Hugo, about Nicky. Ceelia, Odette. He’s not thinking about the people they’ve lost, the love he’s gained, or the impending doom ahead. He’s not thinking about the way his life has fundamentally changed. About the way he doesn’t think he can go back to what he was doing before, to his life, to his ‘job’. To Mercury. He’s not thinking about that. He’s thinking about nice, easy American pop music. 

Before he knows it, they’ve arrived. It’s an apartment building on the outskirts of Kassel. Not too much on the outskirts, though, not too far from the action. He always needs a place where he can get a good drink nearby. 

Annalise and Nathan are almost asleep in the car. He has to shake them to get their full attention, and after a few tangled minutes, they’re standing outside the locked car, staring at him. He realises belatedly that they’re waiting for direction. 

“Well, come on then.” He says, and he turns. 

They follow, entering the building after him. All three of them stay mostly silent on the journey up, save for a few small outbursts at the rat running out of the elevator doors. Jesus, he doesn’t remember this place being such a dump. 

He whispers the password to the apartment door, surprised that he still remembers it. The door swings inwards, and he beckons Annalise and Nathan forward across the threshold. The apartment is warm, smells of potions and- basil? There’s music playing again, not American this time, but French. Gabriel feels his stomach sink. He should’ve known. And of course, as they turn the corner into the kitchen they’re greeted with an elegant, accented,

“The fuck? ” 

“Hello,” Gabriel replies. “Nathan, Annalise, this is Elliot. We… grew up together.” 

“I thought you said you had a place!” Annalise hisses. 

“ I do! Just, about, thirty-five percent of the time.” 

Elliot laughs, switching the lids on about three of five bubbling pots and pans. 

“This is your place, is it, Gabriel?” He teases. 

“I just said- about thirty-five percent of the time it is.” 

“He told us it was his place.” Seriously, Nathan? 

“Well, he was sort of right,” Elliot shrugs, nonchalant, “and who might you two be? I know this one, but I don’t think I recognise either of you.” 

“I’m Nathan.”

“Edge. He’s Nathan Edge. Son of Marcus.” 

“Annalise, what the hell?” Nathan mutters, receiving an elbow to the ribs in return. 

Elliot's eyes widen for just a second, before schooling his expression back to unconcernedly playful. He shoots Gabriel a look, however, one that says We’re talking about this later. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Nathan Edge. And you?” He says, turning to Annalise. 

“Annalise.” She says it confidently, and Gabriel feels a strange swell of almost-pride. 

“No surname?” 

“No.” 

“Fair enough. We all have things we don’t want others to know.” Elliot adds something to one of the pots. Gabriel can’t help but admire how well he’s mastered the nonchalant, carefree act. He knows Elliot is dying inside with curiosity. And fear. Definitely fear- look at the state of them, it’s clear they’re running from something. 

“You all look like you need to shower. I think there are some clothes of mine and Gabriel’s that may fit you. Gabriel will show you the bathroom.” 

Elliot leaves into an adjacent room, but not before he calls, 

“Oh, and Gabriel? Do come talk to me. Now, please.” 

Gabriel ushers Nathan and Annalise into the bathroom and follows Elliot. 

“I’m sorry.” Is the first thing he says. Je suis désolé. 

“Don’t be,” Elliot is as kind as ever, “You look as if you need help. Definitely a change of clothes, at least,” He stares pointedly at the bloodstain on Gabriel’s chest, “But, Gabriel. What happened? Is anyone after you? Is- is she after you? You know we can’t let her find this place. We need this place.” 

Gabriel doesn’t say anything. For, like, the third time today. Ugh. Even in French, he’s running out of words. 

Elliot’s face turns serious. “ Gabriel. ” 

“I know, I know,” Gabriel rushes, “It’s just- I didn’t know where to go,” The last part is almost a whisper, “And you’re right. They- we need help.” 

Elliot softens. His arms wrap around Gabriel, pulling him into a hug. The touch feels nice. Brotherly. 

“I won’t let her get us.” He breathes. 

“I know,” Elliot says, “I know you won’t.”