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Darius woke to movement and immediately tried to un-wake. He needed his beauty sleep, as one might imagine. Unfortunately, the movement continued, and he was forced to face the reality that he was going to have to get up.
"Alador," he mumbled into an unfortunately cotton pillowcase. He really needed to start bringing his own. "What are you doing?"
"I had an idea for a steam integration system that could decrease fuel consumption by as much as fifteen percent in my abomitons," Alador replied, "I have to write it down."
Darius sighed and rolled onto his back, glancing over at his lover. Alador was, indeed, scribbling furiously into his notebook, sitting up with his legs crossed and the covers kicked away. His bed head was even messier than usual, but his eyes shone brightly in the low light.
"What time is it?" Darius mumbled.
"Seven fifteen," Alador replied without looking up.
Darius groaned. "The kids won't be up for hours. Sometimes I think you enjoy tormenting me."
Alador startled and turned toward him with a look of alarm. "What? No, I don't. I love you."
Darius immediately felt bad. "Sorry, Al. I'm only teasing. I know that."
"Oh. Right." Alador gave him a lopsided smile. "I was going to go downstairs and make coffee. Would you like some, or do you want to stay here and try to sleep a bit more?"
"Mm, I'm up now," he sighed. "I may as well begin the day."
"Don't worry, Dari," Alador said, returning to his notebook, "You are no less attractive because of a little lost sleep."
Darius chuckled. "Oh, no worries at all. I know."
Alador finished scribbling and snapped the notebook shut. "Alright. I need that coffee."
Alador swung his legs over the side of the bed, stood up, and stretched his long, gangly limbs above his head. Darius watched him with irrevocable fondness and wondered, for the thousandth time, how someone with so little interest in their appearance could be so beautiful.
With a mournful sigh, Darius stood as well, retrieving a silk robe from where he'd hung it the previous evening. Alador simply walked out of the room in the sweatpants and shirt he'd worn to bed. Darius rolled his eyes, but followed him down the stairs, until Alador simply stopped, staring into the living room.
"What?" Darius asked. "What is it?" He leaned past him to see what he was looking at.
Hunter was sitting cross-legged on the elegant brocade couch, holding a book and looking up at them.
"You're awake early," Alador observed, "Why are you awake so early?"
"Hunter has never slept past six AM in his life," Darius yawned, walking past him.
"I'm sorry," Hunter blinked, "Should I have stayed in my room?"
"You're fine, Hunter," Darius dismissed.
Hunter looked back at Alador for confirmation.
"You have my permission to go wherever you want in this house, except for the basement. It can be dangerous," Alador replied. Hunter looked pleased by this answer and nodded.
Darius trotted into the kitchen in the next room, one of several in what he felt was a comically large home. If he thought something was vain, it was particularly egregious.
He frowned at the dark, unused coffee maker on the counter.
"Hunter," he called, "Why didn't you put a pot on?"
Hunter raised an eyebrow, looking somewhat confused. "I don't live here?" he replied, as if that were a satisfactory answer.
Darius frowned and then leaned back into the living room to squint at him. "And?"
"I've not been given permission to use it," Hunter explained.
"You let him drink coffee?" Alador asked.
"Hunter has a pilot's license and a bachelor's in magical theory," Darius grumbled, returning to the kitchen to turn the coffee maker on, "I let him do whatever he wants."
"Was I supposed to make coffee?" Hunter asked, sounding nervous. "I'm sorry. You didn't tell me to make coffee."
"You're fine, Hunter, I just assumed you would. You always do."
"I have permission to use your coffee maker."
"You have permission to use mine as well, in the future," Alador informed him, and then followed Darius into the kitchen and padded over to the fridge, retrieving a womp rat patty to heat up.
Hunter appeared in the doorway, book folded closed at his side. "Can I use the stove to make breakfast?"
"You haven't eaten yet?" Darius balked.
Hunter shook his head.
"You may," Alador answered.
"Thank you," Hunter said placidly, and waited for Alador to leave the fridge before he retrieved a griffin egg for himself. "I finished the book you gave me, Darius."
"I forgot how fast you read," the coven head mumbled. "What do you think of it?"
"I think it's trite and filled with pretentious observations of a subset of society by a person who does not involve themselves in that society," Hunter replied. "The protagonist is a cynic who believes he is better than every person he meets, and the narrative supports that belief without question."
Darius huffed and turned to look at him. "That's one of my favourite books."
"Yes?" Hunter asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. "You asked what I thought about it."
Darius sighed and returned to changing the coffee filter.
"What book is it?" Alador inquired. He leaned over to look as Hunter showed him the cover.
"Catcher in the Scry," Hunter read.
"Ah," Alador nodded. "Unfortunately, I must agree with his assessment, Dari. I found it to be…" He paused, tilting his head to the side. "Too up its own ass, I suppose."
Hunter actually giggled.
"I need caffeine to deal with you two," Darius mumbled distantly. "Did you kids finish that homework you were doing?"
"We weren't doing homework," Hunter corrected, "We were 'crunching' for a test today. I made flash cards."
"Ooh, I loved flash cards in school," Alador commented.
"Titan, did I hate flash cards," Darius groaned. Rote memorization had been a nightmare for him. "How late did you stay up?"
"Midnight."
"You only got six hours of sleep before a test?" Darius raised an eyebrow at him.
"Why would I need more?"
"I used to stay up all night studying for exams," Alador observed. "Though, in retrospect, that may have been a mistake."
"You came into every exam a disheveled mess that could barely stay awake through the test," Darius chuckled. "And then you got so distracted doodling in the margins."
"Written tests were never my strong suit," Alador agreed, "I was excellent in practical application, but tests? Terrible."
"Homework, too. Do you remember that semester where you didn't turn in a single homework assignment for potions theory?"
"Hm," Alador hummed with a frown, "Yes, the professor handed out the semester's list of homework assignments on the first day and I promptly misplaced it. I was too nervous to admit that, though, and hoped my other grades would make up for the deficit."
"You are incredibly lucky that they did," Darius chuckled. "You should have told me. I would have just made a copy of mine for you."
"Well, I was too nervous to admit it to you, too."
"I'm definitely familiar with that feeling," Hunter added. He prodded his egg cooking in its pan.
"Hunter," Darius said carefully, turning around, "That was different. You know that, right?"
Hunter frowned and gave him a curious look. "How?"
"Belos's responses to you making a mistake were significantly worse than a mistake at school."
"I know that," Hunter dismissed, turning back to his breakfast, "But it's the same basic concept."
Darius wasn't sure if he should push it. He knew Hunter understood that he'd been abused, but he wasn't entirely sure he appreciated what that really meant. He decided to let it go this time, and not ruin the morning and Hunter's apparently untroubled mood.
Darius opened the fridge. He scowled and side-eyed his lover suspiciously. "Alador," he began, "Do you not have any creamer?"
"No," Alador informed him shortly. "I don't use it, and no one else who lives here drinks coffee."
"I use it."
"Well, you don't live here."
"I guess I'll just have to stop coming over, then," Darius mumbled. He gave the fridge one last foul look before he shut it.
"What?" Alador asked, looking a little bit mortified. "Really? I can go get some if it's that important."
"That's really harsh, Darius," Hunter added disapprovingly. "I'll go get it. I'm grateful to you for allowing me in your home, sir." He moved the pan off of the stove, turned off the burner, then picked up the fried egg with the spatula he'd been using and horked it into his mouth, finishing it in one extremely efficient bite.
"No," Alador said firmly, "You are my guest. I'll go get it."
"Neither of you need to go get it!" Darius balked, "It was a joke. It was just a joke."
Alador and Hunter looked at each other, and then turned back to Darius.
"I don't get it," said Hunter.
"It wasn't very funny," added Alador.
Darius groaned. He really did feel bad, he knew he had to be a lot more literal with both of them, especially when they were in the same room, but he was tired and hadn't had an ounce of caffeine yet. "I wish you two understood sarcasm. I'm sorry."
"I understand sarcasm," Hunter said, sounding offended. He crossed his arms. "You didn't do the voice thing."
Darius stared at him. "The what?"
Hunter put his arms in the air and gave his hands a sarcastic little wave. "I GuEsS I'LL hAvE tO sToP cOmInG oVeR, tHeN," he said in the most over the top and comical parody of sarcasm that Darius had ever heard in his life.
"Really," he said flatly.
Alador shrugged. "He's right, Dari. You didn't do the voice thing."
The coffee maker dinged. "Oh, thank Titan," Darius sighed in relief, "Two black coffees for you, and whatever I can find to make this palatable for me."
"Aren't you a little young to be taking your coffee black?" Alador squinted at Hunter. "Don't kids love milk and sugar?"
"I'm lactose intolerant, sir," Hunter informed him, "Meals in the Emperor's Coven did not include milk, and used very little sugar. It's not to my taste."
Darius blinked and looked up. "I'm sorry," he began, "You're lactose intolerant?"
Hunter looked over at him. "Yes?"
"Since when?"
"Uh. Since forever."
"You've been living with me for over a year!" Darius balked. "Why did you never mention this?"
"You never asked," Hunter responded, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Wait. Is that why you scrape the cheese off of pizza?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Titan help me," Darius groaned.
"Do you have any other dietary restrictions we should know about?" Alador inquired. He seemed to completely accept this as a reasonable response, as opposed to Darius, who was struggling to wrap his head around it.
"I'm allergic to shellfish, sir," Hunter answered, "But only in the human realm. Demon realm shellfish is fine."
"You have allergies?!" Darius burst.
They both turned to blink at him.
"Yes," replied Hunter.
"Do you have any other allergies?" asked Alador.
"Latex," he answered, "That's also a human realm thing. It doesn't come up much."
"I should be writing this down," Darius mumbled.
"Oh, I can do that," said Alador, retrieving his notebook from his pocket. He began writing and then showed the page to Hunter to confirm it was correct. He nodded in approval.
Darius picked up two mugs of black coffee. "Here. Accept these while I try to make mine tolerable."
"Thank you, Darius," Hunter said politely.
"Thanks, Dari," Alador said, slightly more casually. He picked up his womp rat patty and shoved it in his mouth before the both of them left the kitchen and returned to the living room.
"I hope the rest of the kids wake up soon," he mumbled to himself, dumping a frankly criminal amount of sugar into his mug, "They're so much better translating than I am."