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Throughout their career Stray Kids has been a pack, each member being added in upon their presentations
Each member, except for Jisung
Jisung has always been perceived as a beta by their fans, no statement ever made on his presentation like those of his members. To the public Stray Kids consisted of three alphas, two omegas, and three betas
People near Jisung would say that he lacked a scent, something unusual for anyone with a subgender. Most people just assumed that he used a scent blocker of some kind to hide his scent, not wanting other people to smell it. They always assumed, naturally, that he had been initiated into his pack when he presented
The truth however was that Jisung hasn't presented, even years after when he was supposed to. He wasn't a beta, not even an alpha or omega. He had no subgender. Stray Kids was a pack of three alphas, two omegas, and only two betas. Jisung had no place in it
His members tried their best to reassure him that he was probably just a late presenter and that didn't mean he didn't have a subgender at all. Jisung refused to believe them, no matter how much he wanted to. It was well past the time he was meant to present and there was nothing. Even his family had given up hope of him presenting, he could tell, even if they tried to feed him the same reassurances as his members
He couldn't even call them his pack. Unless he was presented he couldn't be bonded into the pack. It made him feel like an intruder in their relationship. All of them were dating but only seven of them were bonded as a pack. It made him feel like he was on the outside. He couldn't smell their scents, he couldn't feel the special bond that they had with each other, he was the odd one out
They tried their best to reassure him that he was no different than them, subgender or none. He wanted to believe them, he really did, but he just couldn't
He was different than them. He had no subgender. He couldn't be bonded into their pack. He couldn't be as close to them as they were to each other
It made him miserable on the best days and beyond depressed on the worst
He wanted nothing more than to present, than to be bonded into their pack and feel that bond that they had with each other. He didn't even care what subgender he presented as, he just wanted to be something
So why is it that when he wakes up sweating profusely and feeling slick sticking to his thighs that he feels so panicked? For years Stray Kids has been a pack of seven- three alphas, two omegas, two betas
That's how it's always been
He can't just mess that up. He can't just mess up all of their dynamics so suddenly. He can't just suddenly present, suddenly have a subgender, suddenly be an omega
It would ruin everything, he was sure of it. For years the pack had been seven, had bonded as seven, had mated as seven. It's always been seven
Three alphas. Chan, Minho, and Changbin. Being alphas fit them. They were the oldest three and they had that air of authority to them. They had a natural sense of dominance. They were just alphas. It made sense. Their scents of campfire, coffee, and forests. It made sense
Two omegas. Hyunjin and Felix. Being omegas fit them as well. It was so natural. Their soft facial features, coming off as so sweet when you first see them. Their slim bodies and perceived innocence. Their sweet smells of caramel and chocolates. It made sense
Two betas. Seungmin and Jeongin. Some people had once debated whether or not Jeongin was going to be a beta or an alpha. He and Seungmin being betas made sense. Their naturally calm personas, their sense of comfort just by being near them. They weren't harsh, despite Seungmin's natural sarcasm that he displayed and Jeongin's aversion to physical contact. They were peaceful and smelled of mint and freshly baked bread. It made sense
Then there was Jisung. Jisung without a subgender, perceived by everyone to be a beta. Jisung, who hasn't presented, even years after when he was meant to. Jisung, who was just now presenting. Jisung who was presenting as an omega. It didn't make sense
Jisung rushes out of his bed and gathers up the sheets, thankful that the others had slept in the pack room that night, far away from his room. He had been offered a spot but he had declined. He wasn't pack, no matter how much they told him that he was
He rushes to put his bedding in the washer, dumping in what might be more detergent than needed before pressing start, thankful that the washer was quiet. He then moves back to his room and gets dressed as quickly as possible, throwing his clothes in with his bedding before pressing start again and spraying large amounts of perfume in his room until he couldn't even smell himself there, confident that he others wouldn't smell him either
He rushes to the company building and steals some scent blockers before traveling to the local gas station and buying large amounts of suppressants
When he gets home he immediately takes some of the pills before stashing them where the others won't find them, sitting against the door as his mind races
He was an omega. He had just presented. And now he was taking suppressants. He knew that the meds weren't ideal and that he would probably be in huge trouble with his pack if they found out. But...he couldn't be an omega. He wasn't supposed to have a subgender. He never has before now. So why now?
Why did he present now? Why did it take so long for him to present? What would happen? Should he tell the others? No. He couldn't. They had always been seven. Only seven. Three alphas, two omegas, two betas. Seven
He didn't fit. He never has. The pack has always been seven and has grown to bond as only seven. There was no place for him. He was an outsider. He was an intruder. He doesn't fit
Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, pulling at his hair. He can't be an omega. No. He isn't an omega. He isn't. He can't be. He isn't
He. Is. Not. An. Omega
Jisung repeats the words over and over again. Over and over. Over, over, over, over again
Not an omega. Not. Not. Not. Omega. Not
Jisung doesn't know when he passes out
He doesn't tell them
He doesn't tell anyone
He keeps his presentation to himself. He continues to take the suppressants, taking one whenever his brain tells him that they could tell, that they would find out. Anytime the thought crosses his mind he manages to take another suppressant, passing it off as an Aspirin whenever one of the others asked him what he was taking, in the rare event that they saw him
Jisung refuses to think about his presentation. He refuses to think of himself as an omega. He was Jisung. Subgender less Jisung. Just like he's always been. Just like normal
He was not an omega
He ignores the building feelings of sickness, the ongoing dizziness that he was feeling recently. He ignores every symptom, passing them off as simple effects from his anxiety. They felt like every other time he got sick from his anxiety. It couldn't be anything else. It was his anxiety. It was. Nothing else
He continues to take the suppressants, one every single time his brain tells him the others know. They know you presented. They know you're an omega. They're going to hate you. You don't belong. Not pack. Intruder. Wrong
Jisung continues to pass off his growing sickness, pushing himself to ignore it. He tells them he's fine. Tells everyone he's fine. Tells himself that he's fine
He spends time with the others like normal. He does everything like normal. Like he hasn't presented. Like he isn't an omega. Because he isn't. Han Jisung is not an omega. He isn't. He is not
He's just Jisung. Subgender less Jisung. Not Jisung the alpha. Not Jisung the beta, like he was perceived by everyone in the public. Not Jisung the omega, the subgender he hasn't presented as. He isn't an omega
Han Jisung is not an omega
Han Jisung is a nothing. He is subgender less. He has never presented. He isn't an alpha. He isn't a beta. He isn't an omega
He is just Han Jisung. Nothing, subgender less, intruder, nothing Han Jisung
He repeats these words to himself over and over again. He tells himself that he can't tell them. He can't tell them he had presented. They would hate him. He wouldn't fit in the pack bond. He hasn't presented
There's nothing to tell him
Nothing
Jisung feels worse than he has in a long time. Worse than the time that he had to be hospitalized for a panic attack that had almost suffocated him
He pushes it away stubbornly. He was fine. Nothing was wrong
He wasn't sick. He was fine. He wasn't dizzy. He wasn't nauseous. He wasn't about to...pass out?
Jisung shakes the thoughts away stubbornly and continues to push himself through the dance practice that they were currently stuck in
They were supposed to go home hours ago but the choreographer that they had been working with today had kept them for overtime. Because Jisung kept making mistakes
Jisung kept making mistakes and forcing them to stay overtime
One thing that Jisung really wanted to go back to normal was his sense of smell
The others couldn't smell him, nobody could, but he could smell them
He could smell their angry scents, the annoyance hanging heavy in the air. He could smell how angry they were at him. He could smell how much they weren't holding back their scents, the scent blockers that they had put on hours earlier already no longer working, because they didn't know. They didn't know that he had presented, that he could smell them. And he wished he couldn't
His head was spinning as they went through the choreography again. Again. Again
His fault
Again
He feels nauseous
Again
He feels like he's going to pass out
Again
His fault
Jisung falls to the floor, his vision swimming with black dots. His ears are ringing, drowning out the music he had been previously hearing on repeat
Again. Again. Again
His fault
Again
He can barely feel someone's hands on him, the only thing breaking through the haze in his mind being the scents of his members
Burnt wood, char, ashes, smoke. Burnt coffee. Forest fires, burning wood, smoke, ashes. Burnt caramel, sickly sweet sugar and butter. Burnt chocolate. Rubber- taking over the previous sweet mint. Burnt bread
Jisung can barely feel the bile rising up his throat, can barely feel the burn from it, but he can taste it
He can't hear any of the words being thrown at him. Everything feels like he's underwater, like he's drowning
Again. His fault. Again. Intruder. Omega. Not. Again. His fault. Again. Again. Again. Omega. Again. Not. Again
Jisung's vision goes completely blank and everything finally goes silent
Everything finally stops
Jisung wakes up feeling worse than he has in a long time
There's a beeping noise somewhere near him and it sounds so loud
He wants it to stop. How does he make it stop?
Jisung groans as the beeping gets louder, gets faster. Was it his alarm? Where was his phone? He needed it off!
"Sungie?"
...Caramel?
"Sungie, are you awake sweetheart?"
"H-Hyunjin?" Jisung mumbles out, his voice sounding foreign even to himself
"Hi sweetie. It's ok, you're ok" Hyunjin whispers, Jisung feeling a hand running through his hair and leaning into the touch. He's not sure of what's happening but he can feel Hyunjin nuzzle into his neck and then...caramel
He can only smell and taste caramel. It's so sweet. Sweet. Caramel. Hyunjin
Jisung doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want to lose this
What even was this?
Jisung feels himself getting sleepy, not fighting the soft caramel waves trying to pull him under until finally, he falls asleep
Jisung wakes up again, feeling disoriented. There's the lingering taste of caramel on his tongue and the smell lingering in the air
But Hyunjin wasn't there
Jisung peels his eyes open and sits up slowly, groaning softly as his head pounds in response
He looks around slowly, met with nothing. No one was there. No one. He was alone. Alone
No one was there? Why was no one there? Where were the others?
Jisung can feel his breathing picking up, too many thoughts racing through his head for him to even try to decipher any of them
Why was he alone?
Jisung freezes
He was in a hospital, wasn't he? That means...they know
They know
They know they know they know
They
Know
They had to know
The doctors would know that he was on suppressants. The doctors would tell the others about it because to anyone else he was part of their pack
They know
Jisung can't breathe
He's suffocating
Can't breathe
Breathe
Can't
Can't breathe
Can't can't can't
...Campfire
"Shh, there you go Sungie. There you go. Good boy"
Chan
Jisung peels his eyes open, not really knowing when he had closed them, looking up at the older male
Chan is smiling kindly at him
Shouldn't he be mad? He should be. He should be mad at him
"You're ok baby. It's ok" Chan whispers softly, one of his hands moving to Jisung's neck and rubbing against the skin there
His scent glands
Jisung's eyes fall closed again and he relaxes, his body going limp and his mind going blank
"Just rest sweetheart. There you go. Just rest. It's ok" Chan whispers, even as Jisung is already gone
The next time that he wakes up Jisung is feeling far better
Even so, his thoughts are consumed by what happened. The others have to know now. They know. And he was scared of what would happen
He stays silent the entire time that he's in the hospital. He stays silent when Chan takes him home. He stays silent
Chan calls a pack meeting. Not a group meeting. A pack meeting
Jisung's first instinct is to leave. He isn't pack. He doesn't belong in a pack meeting
When he tries to leave, before the others even get there, Chan makes him sit back down
He feels more vulnerable than he ever has as everyone looks at him
Han Jisung is an idol. He's used to being stared at, watched, seen, he's used to it. But he isn't used to this
He isn't used to this much attention. He isn't used to the members looking at him like this
No one speaks
He doesn't want to. He doesn't think he can
What can he even begin to say to them?
"Sungie" Minho says, Jisung flinching slightly at the tone in his voice
He hasn't used it with him since before he and Hyunjin stopped fighting
This tone meant he wasn't getting out of this. He was in trouble. They were upset. This tone meant that he fucked up
But it also meant that they were going to talk it out. Which meant that it would be ok. He knew that. It's what always happened. If they were going to leave then they would have already
"Sungie, baby. Do you know what happened?" Hyunjin asks, Jisung hesitantly shaking his head. He didn't know why he had ended up in the hospital. He didn't remember anything past him collapsing. "You overdosed on suppressants" Hyunjin continues, Jisung taking a sharp and deep breath
They know
"Sungie, why were you taking suppressants? You know how harmful they are baby" Chan whispers, Jisung squeezing his eyes shut as he looks down
Why did he take suppressants? He had wanted nothing more than to present. He had always wanted to present so that he could be bonded into the pack. He needed that. He needed to be part of that bond so that he could feel that he truly had a place, that he truly belonged with them. So why? Why was he so convinced that they would hate him? That they would reject him? They had been bonded as seven for so long and he was positive that there was no place in that bond for him. But why? The others never did anything to make him feel like that. They called him pack, called him their mate, scented him even when he couldn't feel the effects, they invited him to cuddle nights in the nest, they even invited him to spend heats, ruts, and beta spells with him
So why did he think that they would hate him? Why did he have these thoughts?
"I..." Jisung forces himself to take a deep breath. "I thought that...me being an omega would throw everything off. You guys have been presented and a pack for so long. Your bond has grown as just seven year after year. I don't fit in, because I never have. I've been unpresented for so long. Everyone sees me as a beta and I guess I was fine with that. But none of it was true. I'm not a beta, I'm not part of the pack" He rambles, highly aware of how little sense he was making
"I've always been nothing and now I'm just suddenly an omega. It's always been three alphas, two omegas, and two betas. I don't fit in that. Whatever I present as throws everything off. I don't fit. Everything would just be messed up. So I thought it was better for me to keep being nothing. Everything would be normal and nothing bad could happen"
"Except something bad did happen. You overdosed Sung. You could have died" Changbin says, Jisung squeezing his hand into a fist before releasing it quickly
"I just want things to go back to normal" He mumbles softly. "I don't want to ruin anything for you"
"Baby. You presenting can't ruin anything. You've wanted this for so long and we have always promised that you will be bonded into the pack as soon as you did. Even if you stayed unpresented you are always, always, a part of our pack" Hyunjin whispers, moving beside Jisung and pulling him into a side hug, his caramel scent surrounding him and relaxing him as he takes it in
"You are pack baby. You always have been and always will be. You're always going to fit in" Chan adds on, Jisung shakily nodding a bit as he looks around at all of them
"No more suppressants" Minho says sternly, Jisung instinctually wanting to argue with him. "No. More. We can't lose you baby. We would much rather have you healthy, even if it's you as an omega" He adds on. "We will always love you, no matter what. This doesn't change that and it never will"
Jisung takes a deep breath, nodding slightly. They still considered him pack. They didn't hate him. He was pack. He was an omega. He was their omega
He doesn't remember the rest of the conversation after that. He feels like he should but he doesn't. He does remember falling asleep surrounded by their scents
Jisung doesn't take anymore suppressants, even when he finds himself wanting them
He'll instead go to one of the others and get scent drunk, whoever he went to happy to indulge him
A few months after he stops taking them he wakes up feeling like he's burning
He's sweating more than he thinks he healthily should and his first thought is that he has a fever
He moves to get out of bed and hunt down the thermometer when he falls as soon as his feet touch the floor, a sudden pain ripping through his stomach and slick sticking to his thighs, freezing against the cold air
Jisung's eyes widen when he realizes what was happening
He was in heat
Jisung's breathing heavily as the realization hits him. So many thoughts are running through his head but one sticks out to him the most
Need mates
Need pack
Jisung forces himself to stand up, breathing heavily as he stumbles out of his room. He decides to go to the first room he can think of. Jeongin and Seungmin
He opens the door quickly, the pain in his stomach building, feeling like someone was cutting into him. Immediately when he enters the room the betas shoot up in bed, their scents taking on a more alert edge
Jisung starts to feel bad for waking them up before collapsing again as another sharp pain hits him. Immediately the two youngest are by his side, their touch feeling ice cold against his skin. Did he actually have a fever?
"Hyung?" Jeongin's voice breaks through the haze, sounding worried. Jisung can't bring himself to reply, feeling like his brain was lost in a fog
"Lets get him to the nest and get Hyunjin and Felix Hyungs" Seungmin whispers from beside him, the two youngest helping him up and moving with him to the nest room
Jisung immediately relaxes when he lands in the nest, all of their scents surrounding him and making his head swim, sweetly this time instead of from panic
He barely registers Jeongin leaving the room as Seungmin climbs into the nest beside him, letting Jisung cling onto him tightly and scenting him heavily. The pain in his lower half starts to lessen the more that Seungmin scents him, Jisung relaxing completely when he rubs at his scent glands as well
After a few minutes three more scents join the room. Bread, chocolate, and caramel
Hyunjin moves on Jisung's other side, running his hand through his hair gently and smiling when the younger male leans into the touch
He alternates between being scented by the four until he's able to fall asleep again. He wakes up sometime later to more pain in his lower half, even worse now
"It's getting worse. Should I get the alphas?" Felix asks softly, his voice muffled slightly in Jisung's sleep idled brain
"Yeah, go get them" Hyunjin whispers softly
Jisung can feel someone leave the nest, letting out a loud whine. Someone else is quickly scenting him, whispering softly to him. He doesn't know what they're saying but it calms him down significantly
He lets out another whine when more pain hits him, someone still whispering to him to calm him down
"It's ok sweetheart, just relax" Hyunjin whispers softly, kissing at the younger male's neck, spending more time placing kisses at his scent gland. Jisung relaxes almost instantly at this, reaching out for the older male and holding onto him tightly
Someone else is placing kisses on the other side of his neck, sometimes sucking on the skin there. Jisung's breathing picks up slightly at this, the pain lessening but leaving behind a burning feeling of...want? Need?
Jisung is hyper aware as someone- he thinks Hyunjin. He's pretty sure it's Hyunjin. Or is it Jeongin?- runs their hand over his chest, dragging it down slowly. He gasps softly when the hand moves to settle over the slight bulge he wasn't aware of until now, a small spark of pleasure shooting through him at the touch, pulling a desperate whine from him
"Shh, it's ok" Someone whispers softly, the touch slowly turning to gentle movement, bringing back that spark of pleasure and turning it into more. Jisung lets out soft gasps and moans in response, the kisses on his neck turning into marks being sucked onto his skin
His head is swimming with so much pleasure that he almost doesn't realize when someone else- no- four other people enter the nest. The alpha's scents hitting him makes the need build even more, Jisung letting out a whine that he feels like he should be embarrassed of
More pleasure is the response to his whine, making his head swim even more. Kisses and marks left over the entirety of his skin, hands dragging over his bulge, wrapping around him when his clothes were discarded, the alphas opening him up before finally giving him the relief that he craved, over and over again, as much as he needed
Everything felt like too much and not enough all at the same time
He doesn't know how long has passed before he can think clearly again, laying in the middle of his mates in the nest, the scent of heat and sex heavy in the air
Everyone is asleep, except for him and Chan, the alpha running his hand through Jisung's hair
"Alpha?" Jisung whispers softly, looking up at him shyly. Chan's focus snaps to him almost instantly, making him blush under the attention
"Hm? What is it?" He asks gently, Jisung shifting slightly and letting out a soft moan as a spark of pleasure pulses through him, the source of which- a sleeping Changbin still knotted inside of him- gripping onto his hip to keep him from moving anymore
Jisung settles down easily, looking back up at Chan and blushing heavily at the look he was giving him. Jisung doesn't think too much on it, setting himself back down the path of what he wanted, no, needed, to ask
"Alpha. Can you bond me, please?" Jisung asks shyly, Chan smiling immediately as he looks at him, gently kissing his forehead
"Of course sweetie" He whispers softly. "We would all be more than happy to if you want"
"Please" Jisung whispers, not meaning for it to come off as desperate as it does
"Ok sweetie. We will for the next wave of heat" Chan whispers softly, Jisung smiling happily and settling down to rest for now
When his next wave of heat hits Chan follows through with his promise, each of them taking time to sink their teeth into his skin, leaving their marks on him and letting him leave his on them
His next wave of heat feels even more pleasurable as he feels the bond thrumming through all of them, feeling content for the first time since he presented, feeling like he finally belonged