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Lan Qiren has never been one for grand displays of affection. It's one of the many expectations placed on him due to his second nature that he's never been able to fulfill. He is not lacking in love for his family, but he's reserved, preferring to show his regard privately, and subtly, rather than being too outward with it.

However, none of that seems to matter when he's informed of Wangji's return.

For weeks now Lan Qiren has been the last man standing of his close family. He has plenty of cousins who have been there for him, working tirelessly by his side to keep the Gusu Lan Clan standing, but with his brother dead and both his nephews missing, it's been… difficult to hold onto hope. 

Especially when the group of disciples that had been taken by the Wen came back with news that Wangji had been left behind to what was likely certain death, as he was trapped in a cave with a powerful evil creature, hurt, without food, water, or any weapons to defend himself with.

He'd wanted to take a group there to rescue him immediately, but they couldn’t have afforded it with their clan in the state that it was, still fending off attacks and under watch from Qishan Wen. Knowing that Wangji would’ve known and understood this did not comfort him in the least.

But against all odds, his youngest nephew came back. 

It’s no wonder then that he forgets all of his reservations and rushes to meet him, needing to see with his own eyes that Wangji is alive and whole.

His nephew hasn’t gone much farther than the gates when he finds him, standing tall despite his rugged state. There are no visible wounds on him, which Lan Qiren is grateful to see, though he’s sure there are some hidden underneath his stubborn composure. He looks weary, and he’s tellingly keeping his weight away from one of his legs. There’s dried blood from the bottom of his robes to his forehead ribbon, he’s lost his outer layers, and the shirt he’s wearing is clearly not his own.

There are so many questions Lan Qiren wants to ask, but before anything, he wraps his arms around his nephew and holds him close.

Wangji stiffens briefly in surprise, as startled by his reaction as Lan Qiren himself, but he soon relaxes into the embrace, returning the hug and hiding his face on his shoulder.

“Shufu?” he calls. It sounds like a question, but there's so much they need to talk about, that Lan Qiren isn't sure which one it'd be. 

So instead, he says, “It's good to see you safe.”

“Mn,” his nephew mutters, and it's so Wangji that he could have cried with relief. 

The feeling doesn't last for long, however, because their close proximity brings his attention to something rather unsettling: Wangji's scent is different. There's something raw and sweet added to it, and he knows immediately what it means. 

Like himself, his nephew has presented as an omega. 

But there's something else there too, a second scent, almost as strong as Wangji's own. The mark of an alpha who had clearly gotten very, very close to him. 

Considering all that Wangji had recently been through, and the circumstances in which he would have been during his presentation, this is beyond concerning. Lan Qiren does his best not to leap to conclusions, but it's hard not to think about the awful scenarios in which this could’ve happened.

“Wangji, you…” he starts to say, but trails off.

Lan Qiren wants to ask, but out there in the open, surrounded by people who were politely leaving them to their reunion, is not the appropriate place for that. If something did happen to his nephew, Wangji would undoubtedly feel more comfortable speaking of it in private.

With that in mind, he gently pushes him away, set on his next course of action. “We should continue this conversation in my quarters.”

Wangji nods, looking slightly confused at the fast change in tone. But thankfully, he doesn’t ask why Lan Qiren’s relief had turned into somber worry in the matter of a few seconds, wordlessly following him home.

As the two of them make their way to his quarters, he manages to wrestle his emotions back into control, which opens his eyes to a few things he’d missed at first glance.

Wangji is hurt and tired, and there’s an underlying grief in his scent that Lan Qiren understands all too well. It’s hard not to, when their destroyed home is a constant reminder of all that they’ve recently lost. But he is also calm, settled in a way he wouldn’t expect from someone that’s been through a harrowing experience. It’s puzzling, but reassuring. It tells him that what transpired did not affect him too negatively.

They stop briefly on the way to request that someone bring them a meal. He hasn’t forgotten that it’s been days since Wangji has eaten, and though he wants to speak to him before taking him to a healer - just in case there are any details better discussed in private among family - there’s no reason to delay this when food can easily be delivered.

It’s not long until they make it to his residence, and though it’s been some time since Wangji has been a regular visitor, he moves to sit at the low table with an easy familiarity that Lan Qiren is comforted to see. Much as he enjoys his personal space, it feels good to have him there after the month he’s had.

His nephew doesn’t comment on the mess of papers scattered around, but before he sits down, Lan Qiren still takes the time to gather some of them and make space for when the food arrives.

Ordinarily nothing would be out of place, he’d recently made a habit out of taking work home from his makeshift office. There was simply too much to do; he felt a genuine need to work these late hours to get through it, and it kept his mind busy. In those conditions, it’d been difficult to muster the necessary concern to maintain a high level of organization, particularly when there was always more to do.

Still, he’s glad he brought Wangji here. If he’d had the option to use his office, he likely would have, but this is an intimate matter, so it’s only appropriate that they are in a personal setting.

“Are you badly injured?” he asks, taking the time to look at him again. He doesn’t think so, but Wangji has always been a strong-willed boy, able to remain composed even when facing great challenges. It’s an admirable quality, though as his caretaker, Lan Qiren also despairs from it, at least occasionally, in times like these when it’s hard to tell what Wangji needs.

“No,” he says evenly, shaking his head in denial. “My leg is broken, but it has had time to heal. My other injuries are negligible.”

He frowns at that, doubting what Wangji considers negligible. “Proper posture is important, but so is caring for your health. Do not put pressure on your injury when you can avoid it,” Lan Qiren lectures, grabbing a nearby pillow and offering it to him so that he can rest his leg.

Wangji does as he suggests with a distinct air of skepticism for his reasoning, as if on the verge of saying something as distinctly telling of his age as ‘ but I’m fine. ’

Lan Qiren graciously pretends not to see it and moves on from the subject. “I believe you know why I asked you to talk in private,” he says, finally bringing attention to the matter at hand.

“Because of my second nature,” Wangji guesses. 

“Yes,” he confirms, then pauses to think, feeling at a loss on where to start. 

How can he begin putting his questions into words? Not only is it a sensitive subject, but there is Wangji’s strange behavior to take into consideration as well. He seems to be feeling rather shy, yet that’s the extent of his distress. It’s… bewildering, and a little worrying in an entirely different way, but it soothes some of his nerves at the same time.

Regardless, he needs to discover what his nephew has been through. Now more than ever, he’s the one responsible to ask these questions. 

The thought sends a pang of pain through his heart. His brother might not have been doing such things before he passed, but at least Lan Qiren could have entertained the idea of making him do it, or spoken his mind at him during their monthly meetings. Now he would never be able to do that anymore.

“The returning disciples reported what you’d been through at the hands of the Wen until you were led to that cave, as well as their subsequent escape. It is my understanding that the rash actions of one of our disciples closed that path for you and another,” Lan Qiren starts carefully, trying to save them both time by stating what he already knew. Although with the state Wangji returned in, he’s left to wonder if the boys’ account had lacked information. “What happened then?” is the question he settles on, hoping Wangji will collaborate and answer without further prodding.

Perhaps his nephew can see some of those feelings in Lan Qiren’s expression, because he answers without complaint. 

“I pushed Wei Ying out of the creature's way and got caught in its attack, worsening my leg injury. He rescued me before it could take my life, and we hid and recovered for a few days, I do not know how many," he hesitates, looking at his hands just like he used to do as a child when admitting to something he'd rather keep to himself. But his voice is filled with resolve when he continues, "We started presenting soon after." 

Lan Qiren manages to resist the urge to snap at the mention of Wei Wuxian of all people being the one who'd stayed trapped with his nephew, but it's a near thing. 

Unless something transpired on his way back to the Cloud Recesses, it's Wei Wuxian's scent that's all over him, and that's probably the boy's shirt too. 

He really wants to snap; he's sure he could spit blood if he keeps thinking about this, but with the way Wangji is speaking… Lan Qiren isn't sure where that would take this conversation, and he needs to hear what he has to say instead of making assumptions.

Lan Qiren prays for his own sanity that it's not what it looks like. 

“What happened then?" he forces himself to ask. 

Wangji meets his eyes, defiant and entirely unrepentant. “Nothing that I didn’t want to do.”

… They are few words, but they say more than he ever wanted to know, no matter his duties to this child. 

There’s no doubt in his mind that he is speaking the truth. Wangji has never been one to lie, and the few times he’s tried in the past have proved that he isn’t particularly skilled at it. Besides, he knows his nephew. Wangji is too headstrong to be coerced into defending someone undeserving. He’s been nothing but calm while speaking on this subject, so Lan Qiren is sure that he believes what he’s saying.

He also knows that, sad as it makes him to admit it, Wangji is as passionate as his father had been, and perfectly willing to break the rules when he feels the situation calls for it. 

It’s not something that concerns Lan Qiren often. His nephew is thankfully one of the kindest and most responsible teenagers he’s ever met, so, most of the time, he’s happy to trust his judgment. But this trait of his is also what makes it so easy to believe that he’d break propriety because he wanted to, just as he’d said.

Being an omega himself, he’s not about to underestimate Wangji’s agency over his actions based on his second nature alone. He knows many would, yet he’s very aware that presenting made him no more willing to pursue the path that was traditionally expected of him. 

Lan Qiren hadn’t wished for a domestic married life then, and he still doesn’t. If only Wangji had decided to break the norm in that way rather than doing… whatever he’d done with that Wei boy. 

He’d rather never think about it in detail if possible.

“Of all the things you could have been doing…” He sighs, cursing the fact that there’s still more he needs to ask. “Just tell me one thing, do I need to worry about hurrying a marriage between the two of you?”

Perhaps it shouldn’t be comforting that Wangji’s embarrassment is so strong that the scent reaches him, but he’s glad to know that at least his nephew has some decency left in him.

“No,” Wangji says a little too quickly, looking the closest to blushing he’s ever seen.

“Are you certain?” he insists. Lan Qiren needs his nephew to be certain about this. “I would prefer to only have to navigate one scandal with you and that boy.”

Pushed to the limits of his composure, Wangji almost yells, “ I am certain! ”

Lan Qiren might have felt bad for causing his distress, but as this is the consequence of his nephew’s own actions, he doesn't have much sympathy to spare. All he feels is relief that the need for questioning is over.

At least there’s that comfort. Wangji is way too young, and Lan Qiren is definitely not ready to have a grand-nephew or grand-niece yet.

A knock on the door interrupts them before they can say anything else, cutting Lan Qiren's train of thought probably for his own benefit. 

Ever the dutiful nephew, Wangji almost gets up to answer, but Lan Qiren dismisses him and does it himself. 

His nephew hasn't even seen a healer yet, regardless of how much grief he's just caused him, he can do this himself so that Wangji can rest. Besides, Lan Qiren also undeniably enjoys getting away from that dreadful conversation for a moment, even if it's only to accept the delivered food. 

As returns to the table, Lan Qiren muses that this is perhaps the most grateful he’s been for the rule encouraging silence while eating. There's only a portion for Wangji, but it isn't polite to talk to one who cannot answer, so he stays quiet as well, grateful for how this allows them a natural reprieve to gather their thoughts. 

What a day , he sighs. 

Of course he's still happier than he could put into words that his nephew has returned to them; and he's glad that his initial suspicions were proved wrong. Despite his presentation being far from ideal, Wangji was safe and with someone he wanted to be with. It's not the experience he deserved to have, but it's certainly not the worst that could've happened. 

Lan Qiren would've rather if that Wei Wuxian hadn’t been part of it , but he supposes Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze’s spawn is not the worst his nephew could have done. 

I suppose he's doing better than his father at least. 

Thinking about his brother remains a sharp pain in his heart. He misses him fiercely, especially now. It hurts to remember he died without knowing if his sons would be safe, that he won’t ever know that Wangji came back to them, or hear what news they get of Xichen. 

With how absent the man had been from his sons’ lives, only meeting them about once a month, Lan Qiren doesn’t think he would’ve been here for this conversation; this job would have likely still been his. But he would’ve made him listen to his thoughts afterwards. He’d have complained about Wei Wuxian, and told him of how Wangji seems to have taken the worst from them both, or perhaps the best, depending on how one saw his strong will and penchant for romantic whims. His brother would have definitely argued for the latter.

He’s tired just thinking about what they’ll have to do to deal with this situation and he hasn’t even gotten the entire story out of Wangji. Who knows what the boys were thinking? Lan Qiren is yet to be entirely convinced he doesn’t need to reach out to Jiang Fengmian and drag that ward of his to the Cloud Recesses for a wedding.

That idea does pose a few different questions, however. 

“You better not be thinking of joining that boy in Lotus Pier,” he warns as soon as Wangji is done eating. 

Lan Qiren can tolerate Wangji’s bad tastes to an extent, but if he thinks he’s running away to live as a common servant in another clan… That is something he won’t tolerate. His nephew ought to know his family has a place for him here with whichever partner he chooses, regardless of who they are.

The sudden words visibly startle his nephew, but he composes himself quickly. “No,” he says assuredly. “Wei Ying and I have spoken about it. We wish to court, and after, he’d like to come here.”

Hearing it said so plainly has him almost spitting blood again. The only thing that holds him back is that despite all his defiance, Wangji is still clearly hurt and tired, and there’s nothing Lan Qiren wants more than to be done with this conversation already so he can take the boy to a healer.

There are other concerns to address about the arrangement, but if Wangji is hoping to start courting rather than to jump into a marriage, then at least there’s time for them to deal with that later. 

He doubts he’ll feel differently about it by then, but unless Xichen comes back to them soon, it’ll be his duty to care about this. Of course Lan Qiren would be involved regardless, but he does miss his older nephew’s calm when dealing with matters like these. He’d been growing into such a dependable young man, as level-headed as his mother had been, a striking contrast to Wangji’s temper.

Right after he’s done with the thought, Lan Qiren chastises himself for it. He misses Xichen for more than what he could be doing for them, and he hopes with all he has left that his older nephew is safe.

It's a different ache, to miss Xichen while hoping he'll come back, but he refuses to give up on him. 

He hopes Wangji won't have to know the pain of losing a brother before his time as Lan Qiren does, especially when he’s so young. His nephews have a better relationship than he and his brother could have ever hoped to achieve, he can’t even imagine how hard it would be on Wangji to have that taken away.

“There is one more thing,” he says, cutting his own thoughts in their tracks. “You did not mention how you were able to leave the cave. Did the Jiang come to rescue you? There have been some rumors of the Wen planning to go back to that region; did you run into any of them?” 

Wangji blinks at the change in topic, but his shoulders relax, clearly as relieved to leave the topic of his future marriage behind as Lan Qiren is. “Wei Ying killed the false Xuanwu. We waited for a few days before Jiang-zongzhu and a group of seniors rescued us. Then I came home.”

There’s more there that he wants to address, but first, he can’t help but let out a surprised cry of,  “Wei Wuxian killed the beast? Alone? ”

“I helped, but he did most of it.” Wangji frowns, as if offended by his disbelief. "The fight lasted a few hours. He went inside the shell to chase it out, and fought it from within. I only caught its neck and performed Chord Assassination until it died.”

Lan Qiren narrowed his eyes. That very much did not sound like a fight Wei Wuxian won alone. “Take your credit where it’s due, Wangji.”

The defiance in his nephew’s eyes tells him everything he needs to know. 

No matter, if Wangji will not ensure he is treated fairly, then Lan Qiren will simply have to correct any misunderstandings caused by his stubbornness.

He knows better than to argue now when Wangji is not willing to listen, so he speaks about the other piece of information that caught his attention. “You arrived here alone.”

“Yes?” he asks, genuinely not understanding what about that doesn’t sound right to Lan Qiren.

“Did Yunmeng Jiang not offer any assistance? Were they in a small group?”

While they have no alliance that’d require Jiang Fengmian to assist Wangji, his actions as the leader of one of the Great Clans have a lot of weight in the upcoming conflict. Rescuing the boys indicates that he stands against the Wen, but does he plan to only focus on Lotus Pier? Take care of his own instead of presenting a joint force as the Lan and the Nie plan to do?

“Jiang-zongzhu offered, but I said it wasn’t necessary,” Wangji says simply.

That’s somehow worse, he thinks disdainfully.

Jiang Fengmian has never been known for his decisiveness. In fact, it’s been years now that there have been rumors about how his wife runs Lotus Pier and their tumultuous relationship. But Lan Qiren would never have expected him to accept his nephew’s wishes here. It made no sense for him to send a hurt teen to travel alone in conflict ridden territory. For all he dislikes him, he can’t even see himself doing that to Wei Wuxian.

It paints a worrying picture of the Jiang Clan’s leader, and he’ll be sure to remember this when dealing with the man in the future. What can they expect of him in this war when he’ll bow so easily to a boy of seventeen? Is it a lack of will or a lack of care?

None of this matters now, however. At last, he’s asked all he needed to know from Wangji, so they can finally end this conversation. Tired as the boy looks, he doubts he should be up for much longer, and he needs to see a healer so that he can rest.

“Alright, that is all I had to ask,” Lan Qiren says, bringing the conversation to a close. “You still need to see a healer.”

He gets up, and while Wangji does as well, he doesn't follow. Instead, he stands still by the table with a blank look in his eyes.

“Wangji?” he calls, wondering if there was something he missed in their conversation. “What is it?”

His nephew hesitates. “What of Fuqin?” 

Ah, I’ve had so long to get used to missing him that I didn’t even realize…

There is no easy way to give him the news, but Lan Qiren still tries to be delicate. “You can pay your respects after you’ve been looked over.”

Wangji’s face falls, though the worst is how resigned he looks. When he’d left the Cloud Recesses, his father had already been injured enough that they’d all known what was coming, but that is not the same as having real confirmation. 

It breaks his heart that his nephews weren’t there to say their goodbyes. That this was a privilege only he got to have. 

There’s nothing he can do that will make this better, so he tries to offer what comfort he can, wrapping an arm around Wangji’s shoulder as he leads him outside. “Come along, Wangji. After you see a healer, we will visit him.”

“Careful with your leg,” Lan Qiren warns, though he’s sure it falls on deaf ears. For all that Wangji hums in reply, he still crouches down without hesitation, getting comfortable in the grass with little concern for the mess he’s making of his fresh robes.

Lan Qiren chooses to stay standing, leaning against a tree. Truly, he has no wish to be here. But Wangji had wanted to check on the rabbits he’d been taking care of before he did anything else; and after the emotionally tiring ordeal their previous day had been, especially with the visit to his father’s grave, Lan Qiren hadn’t been able to bring himself to stop his nephew from having this.

Wangji’s joy as the little creatures approach him is almost enough to vanquish his sourness entirely. It’s good to see his nephew so carefree as he pets a rabbit that’s climbed on his lap, even though Lan Qiren is concerned about the way he is sitting aggravating his injury. 

It’s strange for Lan Qiren to be in this place, when he had spent the last few years pretending it didn’t exist. Even after the attack, he had ignored the small group of Xichen and Wangji’s friends that had been checking up on the Cloud Recesses’ ever growing rabbit colony. 

He’d been relieved on his nephews’ behalf that they were alive, but he’d much rather stay away from this creative interpretation of the rules of theirs.

Except that this is the closest to smiling he’s seen Wangji since he’s come back, settled within a pile of white balls of fluff, spoiling them with treats. Even Lan Qiren can't bring himself to feel disgruntled at a time like this. 

He looks so very young like this, far too young for what’s to come. It makes Lan Qiren wish he could forbid him from joining the upcoming war, but he knows that he can’t. They can’t afford to let go of any capable cultivators willing to join battle, and he knows his nephew, Wangji will be more than willing to help wherever he is needed.

Understanding this doesn’t make it any easier to watch his nephew’s childhood be cut short, however.

It doesn't feel like enough, but Lan Qiren swears to do whatever he can to lessen the weight on Wangji’s shoulders.

Right now, this means that he stands by his side and watches over him as he runs injured hands from hours performing Chord Assassination over soft, white fur; that he gladly lets him play with the animals that are definitely not his pets while making sure that he doesn’t overexert himself.

Lan Qiren doesn't even know how long they stay there for, but he doesn’t mind it. 

He makes sure to help him up when Wangji is finally ready to leave, mindful of both his nephew’s injuries and his stubbornness. Then, with his heart a little lighter than it’d been for a long time now, he walks him back home.

Jiang Yanli sighs in mild frustration as her eyes travel to the start of the page again. This is the third time she's had to go back to the beginning, and the same has happened with the other two she’s managed to read. It’s frustrating, but she can’t bring herself to pay attention to the story when A-Xian lays unconscious in front of her, raising much more intriguing questions even while asleep.

She'd feared for the worst when A-Cheng arrived without him, and though she had clung to hope with all her strength, it had been hard not to worry even as her father accompanied her brother and a few seniors to search for him. After all, considering the monster A-Cheng had described, how could she be sure he'd come back alive? 

But against all odds A-Xian had accomplished the impossible by not only staying alive, but also defeating the creature he'd been trapped with. 

That credit was his if Lan-er-gongzi was to be believed, though her father had warned her against it. " It sounds like they did it together, " he'd said, " but he gave all the merits to A-Xian. " 

Which was a rather curious thing to do considering their circumstances. Because, as if it wasn't enough for them to have gotten trapped together, both boys had ended up presenting while in that cave. Something that would've been difficult regardless of the outcome, but made more complicated when they had turned out to be an alpha-omega pair; one that had clearly spent their time there together, evident in the faint omega scent that stubbornly clung to A-Xian even now.

It didn’t look good from the outside and her mother made sure no one would forget that. Every time A-Xian was brought up since his return she’d tell whoever was nearby about how she’d always known his character wasn’t good, and that he’d need to be punished once he woke up. 

Her father’s attempts to add that Lan-er-gongzi had seemed to care about A-Xian were vehemently denied as impossible, and suggesting otherwise only made her angrier.

Jiang Yanli herself would never suspect anything unsavory from A-Xian. He’d always been a courteous boy, and they’d had enough discussions about presenting between them - because who else would have spoken to him about it, if not her? - that she was sure he knew better. She ached to defend him, but knew there was no point. Nothing would get to her mother and she’d rather use her defiance to be here by his side, caring for the one who was her little brother in all but blood.

What worried her, and that she thought had likely happened, was that the boys hadn’t considered what would happen when they came out of the cave, probably unsure if they’d be rescued in time. She would only be sure when she could ask A-Xian about it, but it seemed to be a reasonable assumption considering the condition in which he’d arrived home.

It broke her heart to think about it, because A-Xian did know what sorts of rumors would follow them. He might be able to disregard the ones aimed at him, having lived with that through most of his life, but he knew that this would follow Lan-er-gongzi too, much like her broken engagement with Jin Zixuan still followed her. Jiang Yanli couldn’t see him choosing to do that with someone, so her only guess was that they hadn’t thought they’d live to see those consequences.

Thankfully, they had been rescued. But now all Jiang Yanli can do is hope Lan-er-gongzi’s family will be understanding, and that A-Xian will stay strong.

Her lack of focus on reading is proven useful when she catches the moment A-Xian starts to stir. For a few seconds, he looks around in a daze, then his eyes focus on her, clear and awake for the first time in days.

“A-Xian!” she cries, barely remembering to put her book down in her haste to lean in his direction.

“Shijie!” he says back, almost yelling in surprise. He sits up unsteadily, still weak from his fever, but he manages to catch himself.  “I’m back? When did I come out of the cave? Did Jiang-shushu take people to rescue me? Where’s Lan Zhan? Where’s Jiang Cheng?”

“Shh, not so loud, A-Xian. Muqin doesn’t know I’m here,” she shushes him hurriedly. 

He blinks, then takes a deep, calming breath and settles back into bed, leaning against the headboard. “Sorry, Shijie.”

Jiang Yanli knows he understands without her needing to explain why. As he was never truly adopted into her family, her being alone with him now that he’d presented as an alpha was improper, no matter that they only saw each other as siblings. 

At any other time, this might not have been a problem. Her mother wouldn’t have been happy, but that’s not that different from how she’d been during Jiang Yanli’s entire relationship with her shidi. However, given all she’d said since A-Xian came back smelling like Lan-er-gongzi… it’s likely that her reaction to them being together would be worse.

“You’ve been back a few days now. Fuqin and a few seniors went back to look for you and A-Cheng showed them the way,” she answers, trying to remember his questions in order. “Lan-er-gongzi went back to Gusu after Fuqin assured him you’d be safe. I think A-Cheng is in his room, he’s been… a little upset lately, but I’m sure he’ll come see you when he hears you woke up.”

She half expects him to be upset at the news that Lan-er-gongzi has left, but A-Xian only has more questions about him. “Do you know if he’s gotten there okay? Did Lan Zhan leave a message? Has his brother been found? How about the situation in his clan?”

“I haven’t heard anything about his return, but with the way things are in Gusu…” she shakes her head, trying not to think about all that could’ve happened with an injured boy traveling there alone – and a newly presented omega at that. “Fuqin didn’t tell me anything about a message, and there has been no news of Lan Xichen.”

“I see,” A-Xian mutters. There’s something in his gaze that she cannot make out, and she wonders again just what happened between him and Lan-er-gongzi in that cave. “What about the clan leader?”

This, at least, Jiang Yanli knows. “Qingheng-jun has passed away.”

“Oh… I hope Lan Zhan is okay,” he says softly, with so much caring that she’s taken aback.

A-Xian has always been a caring boy, and he’d understand the pain of not having any living parents left better than anyone, but even then. He’s displaying way more feelings for Lan-er-gongzi than she’d have expected, it’s clear that he thinks very fondly of him.

There’s a moment of silence while they both gather their thoughts. Jiang Yanli doesn’t know where to begin her questions now that he’s awake to answer them. She had been at the end of many of A-Xian’s anecdotes from his time as a guest in the Cloud Recesses, and while he and Lan-er-gongzi seemed to have been on the path to becoming friends, she hadn’t gotten the impression that they were close. So where did all of these feelings come from?

“A-Xian, just what happened between you two?” 

It’s hard not to smile when her troublemaking shidi looks confused at the question, so she doesn’t try to stop it, chuckling at A-Xian’s puzzled expression.

“One of the last things you’ve told me about Lan-er-gongzi was a complaint about how boring he is because he kept refusing your invitations,” she points out as delicately as she can. “I’m just confused as to how you two got so close.”

“That’s fair,” he nods, looking away from her.

He looks so young like that, slumping into himself and nervously fidgeting with his hands. It’s been a long time since she’s seen him look this shy around her, so she does her best to stay patient while he collects his words. 

“I really like him, Shijie,” A-Xian admits at least, almost in a whisper. “I didn’t know that’s what it was before, but I think I’ve liked him for a long time.”

The revelation is not so surprising considering what she already knows, but it’s relieving to hear regardless. A-Xian has always been a romantic at heart , she thinks, glancing at the array of kissing figures he’d carved on his bed, it’s good to know he’s living up to it.

“And does he like you too?” she prods further, not wanting to leave anything up to assumptions.

“He does!” He finds her eyes again, blushing bright red, but grinning proudly in spite of it. “Ahh I almost can’t believe it, Shijie. Lan Zhan said he likes me, and agreed that we should court properly, and said he wanted to learn how to make all my favorite things to eat, and I think he might have written me a song? That one’s a bit hazy, but-!”

Jiang Yanli can’t help the laughter that escapes her then. She’s just- she’s so happy for him. 

Pursuing a relationship with Lan-er-gongzi - if that’s still the title he holds considering the lack of news about his brother - is bound to be complicated, but it calms her heart that the two of them have at least talked it through, and that they truly want to be together. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so relieved," she excuses, bringing a hand to cover her mouth in hopes to quell her laughter. "We were all worried when you came home as an alpha with Lan-er-gongzi's scent all over you. I'm glad to hear you two want to court."

Her shidi winces, picking up on her meaning. Even without having heard it himself, she's sure that he knows what people have been saying as well as she does.

"It's not like that!" he promises, eyes wide in alarm and cheeks redder than she’s ever seen them. "I'm serious, Shijie, all we did was hug, alright? And we talked about everything, even what we wanted to do after-" 

He’s so embarrassed that she needs to put a lot of effort not to giggle. She does end up smiling as he sputters through his explanation, slipping into the fondest rant she’s ever heard about how they were both perfectly innocent boys, but “If anything this is all Lan Zhan’s fault! I wouldn’t have guessed that either, but he even said his family wouldn’t mind, because apparently we’re far from the most scandalous couple they’ve got. Can you believe this, Shijie? I guess I’ll need to outdo myself-” 

Before he can finish, they're both startled into silence by approaching footsteps. It's their only warning before her father walks through the door, bringing their conversation to a halt. 

He has a warm smile in place even as he gives her a warning look, though that stays as the only reprimand she gets for having come near A-Xian. She knows he worries more about what her mother would say than what the two of them could be doing, aware that they’re nothing more than siblings.

The next thing she registers is that her father looks tired, but that’s to be expected, they’re all tired with how tense Lotus Pier has been recently; and his plans to negotiate with the Wen can’t have been making him sleep any easier.

“Jiang-shushu!” A-Xian exclaims, ready to jump to his feet. 

Thankfully, her father raises a hand to stop him, crossing the distance between them in slow steps. “It's alright if you stay sitting,” he says. "How are you feeling, A-Xian?" 

"I'm alright," he says, radiating so much confidence that anyone seeing him right now wouldn't be able to guess the state he'd been in just a few days ago. "I could use some water, but otherwise I feel as good as new!" 

Her father pats him on the shoulder, though he’s careful to be gentle. "That's good to hear." 

Now that there's someone else to sit with A-Xian, Jiang Yanli feels more at ease to leave for a few minutes, so she gets up and relinquishes her chair to her father, wanting to do whatever she can to help. 

"I had some soup prepared earlier, I'll heat it up and bring you some tea," 

A-Xian smiles like she's just offered him the entire world. "Thank you, Shijie!" 

"Can I have some as well?" her father asks, eyes holding a hint of playfulness. 

"Of course" she agrees easily. "I made enough to share." 

Feeling much better than she did when she'd snuck into A-Xian's room to sit with him in hopes of being there when he woke up, Jiang Yanli leaves them to talk, wondering what her father will have to say about all the surprises her shidi is about to throw at him. 

She stumbles into A-Cheng on her way to the kitchen. 

He's clearly waiting for her, likely hoping for news of A-Xian even if he won't admit it. "A-Jie," is all he says in greeting, face scrunched up in something that's trying to be an angry glare, but looks much more like a pout. 

Jiang Yanli won't laugh, she won't, no matter how much she wants to. 

It's just like A-Cheng, though, to have gotten so worked up over their mother's words that he didn't want to come see A-Xian himself, but to still want news if there were any. 

Because she knows these past few days have been hard on him, she cuts him some slack and tells him. "A-Xian woke up." It’s delivered as gently as she can, then she decides to push him a little to see where he’s at. "I'm going to get him something to eat, do you want to come with me?" 

His frown depends, but A-Cheng doesn't hesitate to follow. 

She doesn't think it's fair to A-Xian to place any anger on him for presenting, especially under the circumstances he did so. Thinking that one of her little brothers had come so close to dying still made Jiang Yanli's heart ache with unease, and even though he lived, it was still awful how he'd been robbed of what should have been a good experience. 

But their mother hadn't cared. All her focus had gone to the fact A-Xian had presented as an alpha, like she couldn't bear to have anything in common with him. That, combined with whatever had happened between him and Lan-er-gongzi and their defeat of the Xuanwu of the Slaughter, had been a recipe for disaster. 

Unsurprisingly, she'd vented most of her anger on A-Cheng, lecturing him for not "surpassing" A-Xian in any of this. 

So she understood why her brother had been sulking. In a way, she even thought it was a good thing that he hadn't been there when A-Xian woke up, since the last thing he needed was to get into one of their fights right then. But it still makes her sad that things are like this between them. 

She lets him have his silence as they walk, knowing through years of experience that it’s better to let A-Cheng have a few minutes to initiate these conversations rather than prod him too much, or else he’ll only raise his defenses. 

Right when they arrive at the kitchen, her brother gives in to his curiosity and asks, "So, did that idiot tell you what happened?"

Though he’s trying to be casual, there’s still too much anger in his tone for her comfort. "Don't be like that, A-Cheng," she admonishes.

Sometimes it’s a real challenge to make sure her stubborn little brother understands that, despite their mother’s opinions, there’s no need for the three of them to fight among themselves. Still, Jiang Yanli will keep trying.

"What do you want me to call him when he went and spent his rut with Lan Wangji of all people?” he scowls, lowering his tone just like their mother would have. 

She knows that’s exactly where the words are coming from too, and having heard that speech many times recently, she interrupts before he can continue. “Nothing happened between them, A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli explains patiently. “A-Xian promised me the most they did was hug.”

“And you believe him? A-Jie, Lan Wangji was wearing his undershirt ,” A-Cheng points out with so much genuine incredulity she lets it slide.

Jiang Yanli considers it for a second, then dismisses it. She’d already asked A-Xian about it, and with the way he’d blushed and flailed, there was no way he could’ve been lying. Besides, even though there are good reasons for him to hide it if something happened, she’s confident he wouldn’t have lied to her. 

“Yes, I believe him,” she says firmly, leaving no room for argument. “You should have more faith in your shixiong, A-Cheng. I’m sure there’s an explanation for everything. Now make yourself useful and go heat up some water for me.”

Although he drags his feet, her brother does as she asked and gets started on the tea, leaving her free to go heat up the soup and put in some finishing touches. 

Having gone without food for so many days, A-Xian shouldn’t have his usual level of spice in this first meal, but she adds a mild amount, just so it won’t be too bland, knowing everyone will enjoy the taste.

It’ll be nice for A-Xian to eat with some company. He deserves to have the attention after going through such an ordeal. It would not make up for the awful conditions in which he had presented, but she hopes it can be a comfort. 

Between herself, her dad, and A-Cheng they can make sure he's at ease while he rests. Her shidi might not need any help keeping his spirits up, but that doesn't mean he won't appreciate being cared for.

“What’s he thinking then?” A-Cheng mutters, bringing Jiang Yanli out of her thoughts. Putting him to work seems to have done some good for his temper. His voice is calmer now, steadier, and when she finds his eyes, there’s a glimmer of concern hidden beneath the frustration. “He has to know how this looks. Is he hoping to get in an actual relationship with him? As if something like that would happen, that guy hates him." 

“Well,” she says, grinning in a way she knows betrays her mischief. “He tells me they want to start courting.”

Jiang Yanli can’t help but laugh at the face A-Cheng makes. With how much he’s frowning, you’d think she had just told him terrible news. 

While A-Xian had always been romantic, the same couldn’t be said of her A-Cheng at all, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that the thought of his shixiong seriously courting someone feels strange to him, especially since they are still so young.

Having been in an arranged marriage for most of her life, it’s likely much easier for her to understand the position A-Xian is in than it is for A-Cheng, who had probably expected that both of them would only worry about these things in the distant future. 

“Why would Lan Wangji agree to that?" he scowls, but this time it seems to be out of confusion rather than anger. "Do you think he’s trying to save face?"

So much like Muqin, always looking for logical reasons for everything, even matters of the heart.

While she's sure this was on their minds when they made that decision, and it's true that Jiang Yanli had been concerned about the possibility herself, speaking to A-Xian had calmed her worries. Brief as their conversation was, she had no reason to doubt his feelings when he'd looked so happy to tell her about how much he and Lan-er-gongzi liked each other. 

"You shouldn't say such things so carelessly, A-Cheng, especially to A-Xian," she warns, hoping to keep him from picking a fight the moment they see each other. "He doesn't seem to think so."

She knows A-Xian won’t mind reassuring him, he’ll probably still do so in the future, but she wants to buy him some time before having that conversation. He’s just woken up after all, it’s important that he uses this time to relax.

“It’s not like whatever I say will make a difference when mom sees him,” her brother mutters, but she’s glad to notice that by this point, most of the heat has left his tone.

“That’s where you’re wrong, didi.” She ruffles his hair, smiling as he shrinks away like an angry kitten, “This is exactly why we have to be on his side"

A-Cheng nods sullenly, staying silent while they finish preparing everything to be taken to A-Xian’s room.

She lets him have his space, hoping her words will make a difference after he takes some time to think.

The peace doesn't last long. 

A-Xian has barely eaten half his soup when Jiang Yanli's mother shows up, warping her father's words to A-Cheng and undoing any progress they might have inspired. 

"What are you doing here, san-niang?" her father asks tiredly.

It’s a feeling she deeply understands. They haven’t even started arguing and she’s already tired of it as well.

"What am I doing here? What a joke that I am being asked such a thing! Jiang-zongzhu, do you still remember who I am? Do you still remember that every inch of the earth here is my territory? Do you still remember, between the one lying there and the one standing here, which one is your son?” her mother yells.

The words are entirely disproportionate to the actual question he’d asked, but Jiang Yanli isn’t surprised. That’s just how it is with her mother, Yu Ziyuan needs to be right, and more than that, she needs her feelings to be seen by all. It’s not so unmanageable most of the time, but with how it's been since A-Xian came back… Jiang Yanli feels like she’s heard this same discussion a thousand times in the last few days.

Her father gets up to try and placate her, moving physically closer as if to take the discussion away from them. “Of course I do…” 

Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli carefully leans closer to A-Xian. Not so much that her mother will notice and focus on her, but enough that she’s in a position to help if needed.

A-Xian still needs his rest , she thinks defiantly. I'll intervene if Muqin turns her attention here. 

“What use is that if you remember when you’re still overlooking your son in favor of that disgrace!" she continues, raising in volume with every word. "I always knew that Wei Ying was trouble, but you won’t even admit it now that he’s taken advantage of an injured omega the second he presented as an alpha?”

“San-niang, that’s not-”

“Don’t you dare defend him! How can you even deny it? We’ve all seen the way he came back to Lotus Pier, the way he still has that boy’s scent all over him." Even though she knew it'd come to this, Jiang Yanli winces. She's heard this speech, after all, but A-Xian hasn't, so she places a hand on his arm in a sad attempt at comfort. 

Because she knows her mother is far from being done. 

"I bet that’s why he decided to stir up trouble and pick a fight against Wen Chao! That boy couldn’t possibly have dared to do anything against Lan-gongzi and Jin-gongzi," she barges on, barely stopping to breathe. "And who cares if he did! Their lives have nothing to do with our clan, but Wei Ying had to play the hero for the Lan omega and carelessly bring trouble to Lotus Pier!" 

“Let’s talk about this somewhere else," her father tries again, voice smaller and softer in that way he always gets when trying to pacify her. "You do not have all the information.”

Jiang Yanli wants to help him, but too much of her attention is on A-Xian right now. Her shidi had tensed up the moment her mother spoke of Lan-er-gongzi, and though he's holding himself back, his scent is sharp and sour with anger in a way she’s never seen before. 

It's bewildering, really. She's so used to him staying level-headed against all odds, clinging to his good spirits even through the worst her mother has done to him, that Jiang Yanli doesn't know what to do now that this isn't the case.

“Talk? You still want to talk? How do you still have the face to protect this boy? He should be punished for this! He’s already going to bring us trouble with the Wen, do you want to deal with the Lan too? Or do you think they’ll take well to your endorsement of his behavior toward their second jade?" her mother scoffs, dripping with disdain. "He’s probably ruined the boy’s marriage prospects, and for what? Does he think someone like Lan Wangji will lower himself to be with him?”

She feels the moment A-Xian hits his limit. 

His fury is visible and cold as ice; the very opposite of her mother, whose screams could probably be heard far outside of this room. 

A-Xian gets up from the bed so silently her mother doesn't even look at him. Jiang Yanli follows, staying a step in front of him, ready to do what she can to keep him safe. 

She might have no idea what he'll do, but she knows that she'll stay on his side no matter what. 

“Lan Zhan won’t need to do anything like that," he says evenly, replying to her question despite it not being truly meant for him. "He belongs in the Cloud Recesses where he won’t have to hear vile things being said about him.”

The room is so silent she could have heard a pin drop. 

Jiang Yanli thinks she might have forgotten how to breathe. Her father shares a look with her of pure shock, and A-Cheng's eyes are going back and forth between their mother and A-Xian with an offended look. She can’t say who it’s directed at, maybe it’s for the both of them.

This is the first time she's ever heard A-Xian insult her mother, and she's sure it's the same for the rest of them. Even Yu Ziyuan is surprised, looking at A-Xian as though he's grown a second head. 

Throughout all these years he'd remained respectful, so for him to call her words vile now… it's undeniable proof how much he cares for Lan-er-gongzi. 

How very like her little brother, to rise in defense of someone he holds dear and not on his own. 

Perhaps she shouldn't be as proud as she is; perhaps she should be scared for him. That's certainly the type of behavior that'd get him in big trouble with her mother, and Jiang Yanli knows very well how much pain that'd mean. But there's an air of finality to his words that she isn't sure anyone else has picked up on. She knows deep in her soul that soon enough Yu Ziyuan won't be able to put her hands on him. 

Her mother clearly hasn't reached the same conclusion, because she twists his words to her liking, then continues her tirade. 

“Finally realized your place?" she mocks. "Or did the Lan boy reject you and open your eyes? I bet he only touched you out of desperation. Did he regret it too much when he learned that he'd have to live with it?”

"Muqin!" Jiang Yanli intervenes, both afraid of what A-Xian's reply would've been, and angry at her mother's words herself. 

Her shidi has been so happy every time he's talked about Lan-er-gongzi, she can't bear to see that innocent joy and hope for the future weaponized against him. 

"Why are you defending him now, Yanli?! So eager to follow your father's footsteps aren't you?" Her tone is harsh, but Yu Ziyuan doesn't quite scream this at Jiang Yanli. That only makes it worse. "Is it that you take after him in this too? Because I'll tell you now that there's no point in throwing yourself at this servant. He's made his intentions clear with the Lan boy, I doubt he'll take you if that's his type–" 

"Shut up!" A-Xian yells, cutting her before she can continue with that disturbing train of thought. 

Jiang Yanli is more grateful than she can put into words. Looking around, her brother and father seem to be as uncomfortable as she is, she's grateful to at least have that much. 

There hasn't been a time in her life where she's seen A-Xian as more than a brother, and she knows it's the same for him. Though things might be more complicated between him and A-Cheng, with her it's always been very simple. They're siblings and that's it, she cares for him just as she does for the brother of her own blood and that's all their bond will ever be. 

For her mother to imply otherwise doesn't surprise her, but it's unsettling nonetheless. 

A-Xian takes a deep, calming breath. “Lan Zhan won't need to come here,” he repeats slowly and clearly, though his tone remains filled with barely contained fury, “because I already agreed that I’d live in the Cloud Recesses with him.”

" You've what ," Yu Ziyuan demands. 

"We decided that I'll be the one to marry into his family," A-Xian grins, proud and cutting all at once. "So there's no need for you to worry about me." 

Everything passes her by in a blur after A-Xian says that. 

Her mother screams at him in outrage for a few more minutes, but even Yu Ziyuan doesn’t have much to say to that revelation other than that if he’s so comfortable with leaving, he should go now . 

Jiang Yanli isn’t sure what she’s feeling. Fear, hopelessness, emptiness… it all mixes together in her heart until she can’t recognise what emotion is driving her as she packs whatever she can manage to gather that will help A-Xian on his journey.

In a way, it isn’t a surprise that it’s come to this. It’s never been a secret that her mother didn’t want A-Xian around. She’d disliked him from the moment her father brought him to Lotus Pier, and had made it known to all that resided in Yunmeng Jiang. However, her hatred had become such an ordinary constant that this feels too sudden as well, too much like they should’ve been able to fix it after treating their wounds like they’d always done.

But A-Xian is going away and he isn’t coming back. There’s no fixing this anymore.

Perhaps, Jiang Yanli muses, what she really feels is anger. Quiet, bone-chilling fury, much like A-Xian had felt inside that room when her mother started saying those awful things about Lan-er-gongzi.

It’s not often that she feels like this. Actually, this might be the first time. But it’s infuriating that her mother gets to twist A-Xian’s feelings and accuse him of preying on Lan-er-gongzi while he was vulnerable like… like her brother would ever become an alpha like Yu Ziyuan herself. 

Just for a moment, she’d wanted to say so to her face. To point out that what her mother was accusing A-Xian of doing was exactly what she’d done to her father. Everyone knew it, too. Jiang Fengmian may be a beta instead of an omega, but he’d still been alone, and not in a position to easily refuse a marriage proposal to an alpha of the Yu Clan. Thus, her mother had risen in status, becoming the wife of a clan leader – though, with the way she acted, one would think she’d become the clan leader herself.

Jiang Yanli stops in the middle of packing food that’ll last on the road and shakes her head as if the motion will help her let go of these thoughts. 

It’s not often that she thinks such uncharitable things about her mother – or about anyone at all. But this entire situation just makes her mad. Her mother will see no consequences for throwing A-Xian away right after he’s just woken up, still tired and sick; Yu Ziyuan will be able to spread all these lies about him and no one will care to check; and there’s nothing Jiang Yanli can do to help besides making sure A-Xian will have what he needs to travel. 

She doesn’t want to be bitter, though, regardless of how deserving her mother is of it at the moment, so she focuses on her self appointed task instead.

Jiang Yanli gathers medicine, food, talismans and other cultivation supplies, and fills a pouch with all the money she can afford to give him. It’s enough that both of her parents might object to her giving him these, but she doesn’t care. She packs them neatly so that A-Xian won’t have a hard time carrying them with his other things, then she picks up her sword and rushes back to his room, hoping to still find him there.

When A-Cheng passes by her in the hallway, wearing a stormy expression, he gives a brief nod in her direction. She makes her steps faster, hoping he means to say A-Xian is still there. 

They don’t talk otherwise, there’s no time. Even though she wants to check on him, too, the fact is that her little brother will still be there once the day is over, A-Xian will not.

Her shoulders sink in relief when she finds A-Xian still packing his things.

It’s strange to see his room like this. It isn’t bare, he can’t afford to take everything he owns with him, and some things will need to stay behind, like his Jiang disciple robes. But the most important things, the ones that are distinctively A-Xian, have disappeared.

She crosses the distance between them in slower, but no less determined steps. There’s a lump in her throat when she says, “Here, I got everything I could think of that’d help.” 

“Thank you, Shijie,” A-Xian gives her a shaky smile that does nothing to hide the sadness in his eyes. It’s a good thing, in a way. She doesn’t want him to hide how he feels from her, no matter how much it breaks her heart.

But when he moves to take the supplies, his eyes fall on her sword, stopping him in his tracks. “Shijie? Why did you bring your Fuxiao?”

His confusion is more than understandable. Jiang Yanli hardly ever uses her sword anymore, even for training. It's a beautiful spiritual weapon, but she isn't suited to use it. Which is why despite taking good care of Fuxiao, Jiang Yanli is sure that she won't miss it 

"For you, of course," she says confidently, offering the sword along with the other supplies. "You don't have Suibian with you, and I don't want you defenseless in case you run into danger. Having a spiritual weapon will be better than a practice one." 

A-Xian's eyes widen, looking between her and the sword with visible disbelief. "I… I can't accept this, Shijie," he protests. "Fuxiao is yours." 

"Nonsense, that's exactly why you can accept it," Jaing Yanli insists. She sets the supplies down with his things, then gently holds one of A-Xian's hands and places the sword in it. "You know I've never been able to use this sword, but if you take it with you, Fuxiao will be protecting my beloved didi in my stead. What better use could I have for it?" 

A-Xian closes his hands around the sword's hilt and throws his arms around her neck faster than she can perceive, pulling Jiang Yanli in a tight embrace. 

"Thank you, A-Jie," he whispers, sounding almost afraid to say the words aloud. 

Hearing him call her sister again, something he hadn't done even in private for a few years now, only made her heart ache even more. It isn't fair that they have to part now, her little brother is still too young for her to let him go out alone in the world like this. 

She clings to him just as strongly, doing her best to commit everything about this moment to memory.

"A-Xian… do you truly plan to go to Gusu?" she asks, failing to keep the worry from her voice. 

"I do." He squeezes her once in reassurance, making no indication that he'll get out of the hug anytime soon. "I want to see Lan Zhan again, and I'm sure they could use some help."

"Are you sure it'll be okay?" 

There are so many things about this arrangement that worry her. It's one thing for him and Lan-er-gongzi to start courting, a process that's likely to take years with the current state of the Jianghu, but it's entirely different for A-Xian to need to depend on the Lan boy entirely, without anyone else to care for him. 

Will the Lan take kindly to his presence in Cloud Recesses? Will Lan-er-gongzi receive his sudden visit well? 

It's less that she distrusts him, and more that she doesn't know the Lan past A-Xian and A-Cheng's stories from their time in the Cloud Recesses, and that's not a lot of information. How can any of them know if A-Xian will be alright there then? 

She doesn't want him to end up like her father, unhappy after deciding hastily on a marriage while cornered. Her A-Xian deserves so much better. 

Jiang Yanli realizes now how frustrating it must've been for her brothers to watch her turbulent engagement with Jin Zixuan without being able to do anything about it. Considering that she’s this worried about A-Xian when he’s happy with this boy, she can’t imagine how they would’ve felt for her.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, Shijie.” He pushes her away just enough that she can see his comforting smile. “You know that it’s not like we’ll marry the day I arrive there, right?” A-Xian teases. “I just want to see him, we can figure out the rest afterwards.” 

“Sounds like you know what you’re doing.” She smiles back.

“When do I not?” he boasts playfully, pulling her closer once more before letting her go.

The air is lighter between them when he returns to packing, now with Fuxiao attached securely to his waist. 

Jiang Yanli helps him in companionable silence. There’s not much left to do, and with their joint effort they’re done in no time. 

It’s more than a little sad to be done, but she knows that they can’t stay here for long, her mother is bound to come back if they keep stalling and she doesn’t know if she’d be able to protect A-Xian then.

“I’ll walk you out,” she breaks the silence, not ready to let go of him yet.

“Yu-furen won’t like it,” A-Xian points out, holding onto her sleeve much like he used to do when they were younger. 

“I know.” Jiang Yanli grimaces. She’d known that from the moment she chose to come see him, but it hadn’t deterred her then, and it won’t stop her now. “I’ll be okay. Muqin won’t be the reason I don’t see my didi off.”

It’s a testament to how much this is affecting A-Xian that all he says is “Alright,” and lends her his arm on their way out of the room. No protests, no acting strong for her safety, just her clingy Xianxian, full of trust.

“We’ll see each other again one day, you know? It’s not goodbye forever,” he says soothingly, half for her and half for himself. “While he was here, Jiang Cheng told me I’ll be welcome back once he’s sect leader. You have to make sure he gets there for me, then my future husband and I can visit.”

She pictures it, herself and her two brothers, perhaps in the company of Lan-er-gongzi and other special someones, able to visit Lotus Pier again and play around without fear of reproach from anyone. 

It’s a sweet vision, and the more she thinks about it, Jiang Yanli can’t help but soften. “That seems like a good plan to me.”

Jiang Yanli clings to that hope as she leads her brother out.

She saves her tears for long after she's watched him walk away. She keeps them locked away until after she’s spoken to A-Cheng, and made nice with the rest of her family. 

It's only when she's back in her room, safely out of sight, that she allows herself to cry.

We'll see each other again, she tells herself. Soon, if I have any say in it.