Chapter Text
The next day, Kazuma had an odd encounter at the train station on his daily commute. He didn’t know if it was luck, or someone’s prior planning, but he happened to spot a petite female student with medium brown hair and bland brown eyes. But the most eye-catching, quite appropriately, part of her was the fact that one of her eyes was covered by a surgical eye patch.
At first, Kazuma simply assumed it was for medical reasons, as the girl muttered something under her breath while the train arrived at the station. Once it did, the girl suddenly locked eyes with the door and dramatically struck a pose from a shonen anime the moment before the metal doors pulled open. The girl then let out a rather loud cackle as she boarded the train.
Kazuma was aware that she went to the same school as him, in fact he was one year her senior, but never had he interacted with her before, given that they usually were opposite sides of the school for their classes. Well, he knew one thing about the girl now. She was a chuunibyou. And that was enough reason for him to keep her distance.
Chuunibyou, (meaning eighth-grade syndrome in Japanese) is a period in life where one believes themselves to be unique among others in some way or form, usually involving magical powers or occult things. And Kazuma had first-hand experience with the condition.
Kazuma shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was get involved with a girl like that. Never mind that, today he would return to the Tabletop Gaming Club.
Kazuma and Aqua let out hearty laughs before downing another gulp of their evening drinks.
“Man, what a great day at work,” said Kazuma. “At this rate, I bet we’ll be able to afford an inn in no time at all!”
“And the boss gave me such a nice compliment earlier today!” Aqua gave a warm friendly smile, her dazzling blue eyes filled with ecstatic bliss.
“Excuse me?” Kazuma glanced at Akari at her description.
“What? Aqua’s a goddess, so it makes sense that she’s incredibly beautiful. That’s even one of her racial abilities, giving her a bonus when trying to convince NPCs of things.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to point it out every time you- “
“It’s fine, Kazuma, she can describe her actions in any way she deems fit,” Yuzaki said. Kazuma shrugged and continued.
“Anyways, we made a good amount of Eris, so that’s evidence of a job well done!” Kazuma said. “We should probably start, you know, actually adventuring now,”
“Okay…” Yuzaki cleared his throat. “It suddenly dawns upon the two of you that- “
“WAIT GOSH-DARN MINUTE!” Kazuma suddenly stood up from the table.
“Eh? Kazuma, what are you on about?” said Aqua.
“Don’t you remember? You’re the immortal one!” said Kazuma. Aqua blinked until something clicked in her head.
“Gah! You’re right! You need to defeat the Devil King already so I can go home!” she said.
“How the heck does she forget something like that?” Akari said.
“Anyways, are you ready to pick out a quest?” said Yuzaki.
“Definitely!” said Kazuma and Akari at the same time. Eager for adventure, the two of them had a fire in their eyes that no number of weird stat-allocations could extinguish.
The very next morning, Kazuma and Aqua awoke in the room they rented in the stables and then headed over to the Adventurer’s Guild to find a quest.
Yuzaki rolled some dice behind the screen.
The only quest they could find at their level was an odd-looking request to kill giant toad monsters. Specifically, five of them within three days.
“Huh, well that sounds easy enough,” Kazuma’s eyes scanned the paper. “But in any case, we’re gonna need some gear.”
“I think we have enough money for a cheap weapon…” Aqua tapped her chin. “Besides, I don’t need one, since I’m an Archpriest, I can just summon mine at will!”
“Wait, what?” said Kazuma.
“Holy Object,” Akari raised her character sheet. “It’s part of my race. With this, I already have a Staff of Water Lily on hand whenever possible!”
“How many other gimmicks does your character have?” Kazuma raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t worry, when your character dies, you can just make a new one with a better race than reincarnate,” Akari remarked. “I mean, it is kind of meant for noobs,”
“Hey!”
“You two, cut it out,” Yuzaki said, firmly. “Anyways, what weapon do you want to buy, Kazuma?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, I already looked it up, I know what I want,” Kazuma said. “I’m gonna take a short sword,”
“Suit yourself,” Yuzaki said as Kazuma deducted the Eris cost. “Anyways…”
With weapons in hand, you two set off on your grand adventure! Leaving the wide gates of Axel, you enter a vast field with grassy hills far as the eye can see. You set off, walking past and over the grand wave of green, watching the blades gracefully sway in the gentle wind. It’s an hour later when you find some pigs and sheep walking about, grazing on the vast amount of grass. Suddenly, an enormous pink slobbery tongue wraps around a nearby goat, yanking it into the mouth of a hulking, oversized toad. It’s easily three meters tall and even wider.
“Alright guys, it’s time to learn how combat works!” Yuzaki indicated to the large whiteboard that he’d laid flat on top of the table. He reached into a small box and pulled out two chess pieces and laid them on the board.
“These figurines will stand for your characters. Kazuma is the pawn, Aqua is the bishop. And this…” Yuzaki placed a life-sized stuffed frog on the board a couple of inches away. “…is the toad. This is to scale, by the way.”
“Aw, it’s so cute!” Akari said. “Wait, isn’t that from the claw machine at the arcade?”
“Look, miniatures are expensive,” said Yuzaki. “Now, combat works in rounds. Kazuma, you’re going first; what are you going to do?”
Kazuma drew his short sword and took a deep breath. He charged forwards towards the mighty toad, preparing a good strike.
“Okay, now you add your Weapon Skill to the roll, as well as your Dexterity. Well, you don’t have any skills yet, so just add the stat,”
Kazuma threw the dice and rolled an 8. Adding on his modifier, which made for a total of 9.
“The toad rolled a 13,” said Yuzaki. “You miss.”
Kazuma slashed but the toad swiftly hopped out of the way.
“That’s the end of your turn, now the toad goes next,” said Yuzaki.
As soon as it landed, the toad turned around and let out a mighty croak before taking a grand leap in Kazuma’s direction. Panicking, the adventurer turned around and started running away from the massive amphibian. One misstep could get him squished and possibly eaten.
“The toad missed,” Yuzaki said, moving the pieces on the map. “While those two are running, what are you going to do, Akari?” Yuzaki turned to the black-haired girl. “Uh… Akari?”
As of now, Akari was currently reading through her character.
“Uh… give me a second…” she said, as she flipped through the sheets of paper. It was several seconds as her eyes glazed over each sheet.
“...Any day now?” Yuzaki said. “Kazuma’s currently running for his life from a giant toad.”
“Uh… Aqua laughs at him,” Akari waved her hand.
“Seriously?” Kazuma said.
“Look, just skip me while I find the spell!”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Aqua cackled as Kazuma frantically scrambled away from the oversized creature. “Your face looks so funny, all sweaty and red! This is payback for making fun of me you know!”
“AQUA HELP!” Kazuma screamed.
“Okay…” Yuzaki blinked. “Now it’s your turn again, Kazuma,”
“What happens if I stop running?” he asked.
“The toad will land on top of you on your next turn.”
“...Can I attack it?”
“Yes, but with disadvantage since it’s currently in a charge.”
“Is there anything else I can do?” Kazuma said.
“Well, this encounter was designed for two people,” Yuzaki sneered at Akari who was currently still looking through her spells.
“Hey Kazuma!’ Aqua exclaimed. “If you want me to help, start adding “sama” to my name.”
“LADY AQUA!” Kazuma screamed as the toad began to catch up on him.
“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” Yuzaki said. “Okay, while Aqua is telling Kazuma to join the Axis sect, the Toad decides to change directions and…”
“...and if there’s something on your plate that I want, you have to give it to me. Also, you need to pray to me three times a day…” Aqua continued her rant, when she looked up to see the massive toad staring down at her. With a swift motion, it bent down and pulled her into its mouth. Before she knew what was happening, Aqua was enveloped in fleshy putrid folds covered in sticky slippery slime that clung to every inch of her body…
“EWWWW!” Akari recoiled. “That’s not fair! I wasn’t ready!”
“You used your turn to laugh at Kazuma,” Yuzaki said.
“Hmmph!” Akari said. “Fine then! I cast God Blow!”
“You can’t concentrate a spell while inside of a monster’s body,” Yuzaki said. “It says right here on the rulebook.”
Akari sighed and crossed her arms.
“It’s your turn again, Kazuma. The toad is sitting still,” said Yuzaki.
“Great” Kazuma moved his piece on the map. “I attack it!”
“Roll to hit. You can add a bonus dice since it’s distracted, but you take the total of the highest two.”
“15!”
“That’s a hit, roll damage,” Yuzaki said as Kazuma grabbed another die.
“8,”
Kazuma charged the toad while drawing his weapon. He leaped into the air with grace of a gazelle before plunging his sword into the sticky flesh. The toad yelps but is unable to move.
“It’s focusing all of its energy on eating Aqua, so Kazuma can attack it all he wants,” Yuzaki said. “Aqua, how much HP do you have?”
“Uh… 86?” Akari said.
“Okay, that gives Kazuma about eleven attacks before you’re digested,” Yuzaki said.
“WHAAAAAAT?”
“Here goes nothing!” Kazuma picked up the dice again
Kazuma slashed repeatedly in a mad frenzy, tearing up the toad with each attack. Finally, he exposed the blue hair of Aqua, grabbed her by the shoulders, and yanked her out as the toad let out its last croak.
In the process, the two of them were covered in the toad’s thick and sticky fluids.
“Gross!” Kazuma said. “Why would you describe that?”
“Dunno, for roleplay purposes?” Yuzaki shrugged.
“Oh, I can do that!” Akari said.
“Sniff… WAAAAAAAAAAH!” Aqua wailed as she grasped Kazuma’s shirts. “TANK YOU KAZUMA! I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER! THAT TOAD WAS SO GROSS!”
Yuzaki and Kazuma exchange concerned looks as Akari acted out Aqua’s breakdown.
“What?” she paused to look at them. “This is totally what a goddess would do in this situation.”
“I… guess?” Yuzaki said.
“Anyway, that means I get to take the next turn!” Akari said. “I cast God Blow on the next toad!”
“You insufferable creatures! How dare you mess with the divine! Your kind shall pay for this!” Aqua screamed as she charged to strike another toad. “GOD BLOW! THE POWER OF A GODDESS’ WRATH AND SORROW! WHOMEVER IT STRIKES SHALL PERISH!”
“...Roll to hit?” Yuzaki said, still a little unnerved by Akari’s acting.
“20!” Akari said.
“Roll damage,” said Yuzaki. “It’s uh… 4d6, right?”
“Yup!” Akari grabbed a large handful of dice. Kazuma was actually pretty intimidated by such a high number.
She threw the dice onto the table and added them up for a grand total of…
“12!” Akari exclaimed.
“Anyway, after applying the Toad’s water resistance, which results in… six damage,”
Akari blinked.
Aqua’s glowing fist made contact with the massive toad’s body, but the impact simply rippled slightly before vanishing completely. The pink toad looked down onto Aqua.
“...Uh, after seeing you from up close, you froggies are actually pretty cute!” Aqua said.
The toad was unamused and proceeded to wrap its lips around her.
“Are you serious?” Akari let out a verbal exclamation before she suddenly took in a massive inhale and let it out as a long neutral breath. “It’s okay… it’s okay. Just the dice.”
“So…” Yuzaki turned back to Kazuma. “You wanna smack em silly again?”
“Not that I see any other choice.”
Yuzaki glanced at the clock and his eyes widened.
“Oh, it’s almost over, let’s finish this up quickly.”
Kazuma finished off another toad, and the two of them headed back to the stable you were sleeping at.
“Stable?” said Kazuma. “Oh, that’s right, we’re still broke,”
“Ah, yes,” Yuzaki said. “it’s smells awful, and the ventilation leaves much to be asked for.”
“Ew!” Kazuma said.
“And with that, we can end this session,” Yuzaki said. “I have to be completely honest with you two. Something about this doesn’t seem to be working properly…”
“Maybe cause Akari made her build so needlessly complicated that she doesn’t even know how to use it properly?” said Kazuma.
“Maybe cause Kazuma chose such a weak starting and stats that he can barely do anything competently?” said Akari.
“Look, I’m not gonna judge someone for how they like to play their character. That’s just not the way I roll,” Yuzaki started tidying up. “But the issue is that there’s only two of you, and neither of you have any major damage dealing skills with consistent output. So, I think we should try and get some more club members. Not just because we can technically only have an official club with five members…”
“AH!” Akari suddenly stood up. “I completely forgot about that!”
“Wait, you mean… we won’t be able to keep the club unless we get more members?” said Kazuma.
“Pretty much,” Yuzaki shrugged nervously. “So… I guess we should probably start looking soon.”
“Well, that’s easier said than done,” Kazuma crossed his arms. “It’s not like we’re a particularly cool-looking club.”
“Only because people can’t see the amazing world that we adventure in!” Akari said. “If only there was some way we could show off the legendary landscapes and monster that which we meet every time we step into this room! If only!”
“You mean like… a drawing?” said Yuzaki.
“Right!” Akari clicked her fingers. “That’s it! I’ll make a club poster and put it on the bulletin board!”
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” said Kazuma.
“Of course I know!” Akari whipped out a sheet of paper. “Let’s see… Come Join the Tabletop Roleplaying Club and enjoy fantastic adventures in a world of magic and monsters, unleash your inner hero, and make new close friends on your quest! Your journey starts today!”
“Sounds a little cheesy, not gonna lie,” said Kazuma.
“Oh, it’ll be fine!” Akari dismissed him with a hand wave. “Besides, Aqua has a +13 in all of her artistic skills, so she’d draw something even better!”
“First of all, that doesn’t apply to you. Second, why would you spend Skill Points on that?” said Yuzaki.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come in handy!” Akari gave him a thumbs-up.
“If you say so…”
Akari put her poster on the club board. Kazuma saw several students pass by and glance at it, but none of them seemed too interested in joining. He was starting to get worried, after all, he definitely wouldn’t want the club he had just joined to disband.
Even though things might not be going as smoothly as he hoped, he genuinely was having a good time with Akari and Yuzaki. Between roleplaying with Aqua’s shenanigans, or enjoying some very bizarre combat sessions, every moment inside the club felt, for lack of a better word, magical.
Still, none of that would continue if they couldn’t find any more members.
Perhaps Akari was right about character skills carrying over to real life, for he couldn’t describe the events that session as anything but an incredibly lucky (or unlucky) break.
Because who could have predicted, that as Kazuma made his way to the club room, he bumped into no one else but the chuunibyou girl walking in the exact same direction? Pretty much anyone, to be honest. He said nothing, for fear of what might happen if he did. She said nothing too, keeping that ominous aura around her, but she kept sneaking sly glances at his face, as if she was trying to judge him.
And, in a rather predictable plot twist, as soon as he entered the club room, she followed behind him. Akari was already there going over her character sheet.
“Oh hi, Kazuma!” Akari smiled when she spotted the newcomer. “Wow, you found a new member already? Way to go, superstar!”
“Huh?” Kazuma glanced behind him. “Oh no, she’s not a new member, this is-”
He froze in place. The girl’s uncovered eye, once a deep brown, was now an unearthly crimson shade. The most unnerving part was that it was glowing like a hot coal.
Kazuma shrieked and jumped back, much to the confusion of the other two club members. The girl simply smirked and stepped forwards.
“Art thou the ones who’s recruitment poster drew me to your humble base of operation, known otherwise as the Tabletop Role-Playing Club?” the girl spoke aloud for the first time Kazuma had seen. “Because if so, then this meeting can only be a fate chosen by the world. I too have anxiously awaited the arrival of those like you!”
Without another word, she whipped off her school uniform’s blazer, which was already unbuttoned, revealing a long red and orange cape tied around her neck that wooshed out in her flourish, from which she seamlessly transitioned into yet another bizarre pose.
“My name is Megumin! I am a legendary archwizard of the Crimson Demons, whom commands the almighty power of Explosion Magic, the greatest spell in all the world!” she recited with one final dramatic whip of her cape.
The four of them stood there in silence for several seconds, not knowing how to respond to this situation. “Megumin” quickly shut the door behind her.
“Umm…” Kazuma said. “As to continue, she followed me here. Wait, are you stalking me?”
“Do you too also desire my forbidden strength?” Megumin covered her face but allowed her eyes to openly peek through her fingers. Every motion she made was as grandiose as possible, like a Shakespearean actor. “The same power that which I have ostracized by the entire world by, and also peer into the abyss within me, but beware! For the one who stares into the abyss, the abyss shall also stare into thee…”
Kazuma was fairly sure her grammar was off.
“I’m sorry, this not the kind of club for that sort of-” Kazuma started, by Yuzaki at once rushed over to shake her hand.
“That sounds wonderful! We’d love to have a new member! Now we only need one more,” he said, aggressively greeting her. His enthusiasm seemed to break Megumin’s persona as she seemed to panic when he closed the distance.
“Uh…” she was lost for words. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of index cards, shuffled through them for a moment, before striking yet another pose.
“But of course I am of the Crimson Demon clan, whom possess the finest magic. My ultimate Explosion shatters mountains, ruins cities, and smashes-GYAK!”
As she leaned forward, her cape, which had been caught on the door when she closed it, caused her to topple off her feet. now she was stuck trying to reorient her legs while grasping at the cape around her neck. Akari quickly opened the door, causing Megumin to plummet face-first onto the floor.
“OW!”
“Oh my, are you okay?” said Akari. “Uh… why are you wearing a cape?”
“Does it really look that bad?” Megumin looked up. Now she wasn’t even trying to act, as she looked up at her senior with small tears in her eyes.
“Huh? Oh no, it looks amazing!” Akari quickly said, a little taken aback at how instantly devasted the younger girl was. Megumin then picked herself up.
“Where was I? Oh yeah… uh, something… Crimson Demon… ugh, I forgot,” she let out a disappointed sigh. “Can I join your club? I already have a pretty good idea for the character I want to roleplay but uh… I’m not very experienced now.”
“Hold on, are you two sure we should let her in?” Kazuma cringed as her performance brought painful memories of his own chuunibyou phase. The last thing he wanted was a constant reminder of the reason spent middle school all alone.
“Of course we’ll let her in! The Tabletop Roleplaying Club welcomes all!” Yuzaki smiled brightly“Sounds like you’re already familiar with the world…”
“Well… kinda!” Megumin said, fidgeting with her fingers. “I’ve read every single issue of the mainline series, the Crimson Witch and Dusty Trail spinoffs, both the light novel and the manga, watched the entire anime and the movies in theatres.”
“There’s an anime?” said Kazuma.
“Yeah, Konosuba: God’s Blessing in this Wonderful World is one of the top-rated shows last season!” said Megumin. “Not to mention its inclusion is the crossover: Isekai Quartet- “
“This game is based off a light-novel?” Yuzaki said, taking a closer look at the rulebook. “Huh, I guess I never saw that- “
“Oh,” Megumin said, slightly disappointed sounding. “Uh… anyway, I’m Megami Togashi. I… don’t actually know how the system works, but I know I wanna be a Crimson Demon Archwizard, just like my favorite character, Negumin.”
“Wait… doesn’t that mean your character is- “
“Nevermind that,” Yuzaki stood up. Kazuma could see how happy he was to have a new member. He wasn’t as close to him as he was with Akari, but he did know how much this game meant to Yuzaki. Seeing him interact with Megami, he simply didn’t have the heart to try and stop her further.
“So, do you have a character sheet?” said Yuzaki.
“I sure do!” Megumin handed over a well-written sheet. Yuzaki’s eyes became wider and wider as he looked it over.
“There’s only one spell here, and it’s Explosion,” he said. “Is that even allowed?”
“Of course I can,” Megumin confidently grinned. “Megumin is a master of Explosion magic and only Explosion magic! She is the best Explosion mage in the entire world!”
“It’s against the rules,” said Yuzaki.
“No, it isn’t,” said Megumin. “I took the Arcane Overload Cheat which lets me cast spells beyond my mana limit using my HP. Then I dumped all of my stat points into Intelligence, and I was able to meet the threshold to take Explosion as my starting spell!”
“Well yeah, but if you do that you can’t learn anything else…” said Yuzaki.
“I don’t need anything else; I have Explosion!” Megumin grinned confidently.
“…Okay. Well, let’s get started then.”
Kazuma and Aqua pant as more toads begin approaching them in the field, when a stranger appears from behind the heels. A young girl dressed in red donning a matching eyepatch and wearing a tall witch’s hat with a stitched face. Her one visible eye is glowing a deep red.
“Fufufu, are these the beasts that which you struggle with?” she said. “I shall make quick work of them using my Explosion!”
“Alright, roll off everyone,” said Yuzaki. Everybody rolled for initiative. “Megumin, you’re first.”
“Hey, so glad you showed up!” Kazuma shouted at the newcomer. “Can you help us?”
“Of course I can!” Megumin posed dramatically. “I will use the power of my Explosion magic!”
“I cast Explosion on the frogs!” she said.
“Okay, that’ll take about five turns,” Yuzaki said.
“Wait, what?” said Kazuma.
“Her current casting speed is one, and that spell has an incantation level of 5, so it’ll take that many turns to cast the spell.”
“It does not matter!” said Megumin. “Once I finish, those frogs will be obliterated!”
“Guess we just gotta keep them inside the AOE, huh?” said Kazuma.
“Alright, it’s my turn!” said Aqua. “I cast God Requiem on the frog!”
Aqua screams as she charges into battle, bearing her staff.
“GOD REQUIEM! THE FURY OF A GODDESS’S PAIN AND SORROW! WHOMEVER IT STRIKES SHALL PERISH!”
“Wait, wasn’t that the same as the last blow- “
Akari rolled the dice and fist-pumped.
“Nice, I got a nine!”
“The toads are resistant to divine attacks. Take a disadvantage die.”
“Wait, what?”
The blow harmlessly squished into the toad’s wet skin. Aqua looked up in shock, her attack doing nothing.
With another great big gulp, Aqua once again found herself inside of the toad’s mouth.
After several turns of rolling dice while Akari and Kazuma scrambled to keep their miniatures away from the frog while protecting Megami’s character as she charged up her spell, Yuzaki finally declared that the Explosion was going off.
“Yes!” Megami eagerly grabbed the dice. “Behold, the ultimate magical attack! Explosion!”
She threw them all over the gameboard, nearly knocking over her own miniature.
“That’s 42 fire damage!” she confidently crossed her arms and struck a pose. “The almighty flames of my spell incinerates these foul creatures!”
Megumin cackled as the frogs exploded into ash in the heat of the massive fireball. Kazuma and Aqua yelped as they sprinted away, watching the spell in awe.
“Okay… hey, you said you took Arcane Overload, right? How much HP are you paying to cast that spell?”
“All of it!”
“…All of it?”
“Yep. But don’t worry, the cheat says that if I hit zero HP because of it, I just fall unconscious rather than dying.”
“Wait, you mean she just fell over?” said Kazuma. “Does that mean…’
Megumin face planted into the ground. At that moment, another one of the toads began hopping towards her. The smaller girl could barely utter any resistance as the toad snatched her up into its mouth.
Kazuma and Aqua glanced at one another awkwardly before nodding. They charged in to finish off the toad.
Yuzaki discreetly struck off the three other Giant Toads he had planned for this encounter. The last thing he wanted was a TPK on the second session.
“Okay, I think we can end the session there,” Yuzaki cleared his throat and closed the book. “So, uh… what did you guys think?”
Megami glanced around the table as Kazuma and Akari looked away from Yuzaki awkwardly.
“Um…”
“Well…”
They both struggled to say anything. Megami took a deep breath and turned to Yuzaki.
“Yuzaki?”
“…Yes?”
“THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER!”
The other three people at the table looked at her in surprise.
“First, I got to step in and do that cool intro I’ve always wanted to do, then Aqua got eaten by the frog and that was super funny! And Kazuma was cool how he managed to take down those frogs with nothing but a shortsword. And I even got to drop a nuke on some frogs! I absolutely love this game!”
“Oh, that’s good!” Kazuma said when he realized he was smiling. He thought he saw a shimmer in Megami’s eyes as she jumped for joy.
“Oh uh… I mean.” Megami cleared her throat. “Fufufu! This adventure was most prosperous! I shall return, farewell-“
She accidentally stepped on her cape as she stood up, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground.
“Owie…” she said. Kazuma sighed and offered her a hand.
“Hey… sorry I was kinda hostile when you showed up.”
“Oh, it’s fine!” Megami smiled brightly. Kazuma blushed. He hadn’t noticed before but beyond all the theatrics… she was really cute.