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The air was hot and stuffy, the amount of people in the room making him dizzy as he leaned further into his chair. Jason was not having a good time. He didn’t even know why he agreed, something about.. Family bonding? People getting suspicious? Both?
The gala was loud. He couldn’t even see the bats anymore. How many were there today? Bruce, Dick, Tim.. Steph..? Maybe Duke. He could also remember shoulder long black hair, who wore shoulder long black hair again?
His mind felt fuzzy, the foul taste of the drink in his glass had stopped tasting awful a while ago. Now he couldn’t care less about the taste, downing the last of his drink in one simple gulp.
He tried hard to get back up, engage with people as it was expected of him instead of playing drunken teen, stuck at gala. Yet, wasn’t that what he was? He couldn’t remember his own age but he knew he was probably not even legal to drink yet. Right?
Each time he tried to push himself up, the nausea of even thinking of interacting with any of these Snobs made him sit right back down, instead grabbing another glass. He couldn’t tell how long it’s been since this whole thing started, a few hours maybe.
He remembered at first the bats were with him, gathered around the very same table he was currently sitting at, gossiping about all these high-and-mighty people.
After a while, each of them got up, ready to engage with the very people they had gossiped about just earlier. Of course Bruce wasn’t with them, already gone the minute they opened the gala.
The last person with him left.. Maybe minutes ago? Hours? He couldn’t tell.
With a sigh, he pulled himself up, squinting at the mass of people gathered around the room. When he was younger he gaped at how big the room was, how many people could fit in here.
That didn’t mean he liked them.
Even when he was younger he couldn’t stand it. He was often seen by the snacks table or not at all, preferring to hide underneath the table so people wouldn’t bother him with their rude stares and sharp words they either didn’t know he heard, or simply didn’t care enough to bother hiding them.
Right now, all he needed was to get the hell out of here, Family bonding be damned. It’s not like any of them even bothered enough to stay with them, instead playing the perfect sociable rich guy. Girl for steph, of course.
Finally, he tried to move towards where he thought the exit was. He could just go upstairs, try to rest… No. No, he needed to get out. He needed some fresh air, right about now.
Instead of moving towards the exit, he now moved towards one of the many balconies the manor had. He couldn’t walk straight, instead trying to guide himself by leaning into the wall, taking slow steps towards his destination. It would be worth it in the end, he told himself.
A few people noticed him pass, immediately taking their chance and trying to talk to him. He pushed past them, ignoring the angry shouts or curses thrown his way as he tried to find his way out of there.
—
Dick was exhausted, the constant chattering to the very same people that called him a circus freak, a charity case just a few years ago. How times have changed, huh? He knew they still talked, their attention now split between him and his many other siblings. Why? He couldn’t tell. Sometimes they didn’t even try to hide it, and wasn’t that just rude.
After hours and hours of talking he was finally able to slip away from the crowd of people, standing on the side of the room with a glass of water for his scratchy throat.
He scanned the crowd for his family. Tim and Duke were at the snacks table, he could see them play some kind of game.. They were showing each other food and it looked like they were pretending to introduce it to each other? Little weirdos..
Stephanie was energetically talking to an old lady he recognized from his old days. She always was one of the good ones, offering him sweet candy she might have taken from the snacks table when no one was looking (of course they were allowed to take any snacks they wanted but it was fun to pretend). She loved to listen to his ramblings, offering sweet words when he felt lonely or upset because of the cruel words of the older rich people.
Cassandra was with Bruce, standing by his side almost protectively as she also scanned the crowd. Their eyes met and she gave him a small wave, a warm smile on her face. He returned the wave with a smile of his own.
The last one missing was Jason. He scanned the crowd again when he couldn’t find him the first time, maybe he was simply stuck inside the crowd, ushered to talk. When he couldn’t find him the second time he frowned. Maybe he was just at the restroom for a moment. Yeah, probably.
—
Jason could finally feel the cold air on his face. He slid down the wall, looking out into the polluted skies of gotham. Breathing felt easier without so many people in the same room as him.
He couldn’t remember what he was thinking about before he came out here, all he knew was that he was tired. He wanted to sleep but.. The gala. Bruce. He promised. He promised to stay. He promised.
—
It’s been 20 minutes and he still hasn’t seen Jason. This was getting worrisome.
Dick tried asking his siblings but none of them could tell him where he was.
“I last saw him at our table!” Steph said, “Maybe you should check there.” He did. He checked there at least two times in the last few minutes. The old lady gave him a reassuring smile, telling him it was going to be alright and that maybe his brother just needed a small break.
Duke and Tim weren’t much help either, they haven’t seen him pass, haven’t seen anyone pass really. They were really engrossed in their game, he should try it, they said. He wasn’t in the mood.
It was the most worrying when he spoke to Cassandra. “Saw him leave.” She pointed to the right. “He seemed.. unbalanced. Tired.” She then added, looking at Dick in worry. He reassured her he was going to find out what was going on before he left.
With her information it wasn’t necessary to talk to Bruce, yet he found the need to do so. Bruce told him he’s seen him looking boredly into the crowd just a few minutes ago. He said he was going to keep him some company but he kept getting lured away and told him to apologise to Jason if he found him.
None of them seemed as worried as he did, except Cassandra that is. Jason has never been the most comfortable at Galas. Dick remembered when Jason was younger he liked to hide under one of the many tables, eating in silence and waiting for the gala to end. Dick had joined him when he could, joking around with him about whatever he could think of to make him laugh, picking up his volume whenever they could hear the awful words of the elders. How he wished he could go off on them, speak his mind. It was bad enough they talked about him, but to talk about his brother this way?!
He finally made his way to where Cass had pointed him, apologising to anyone that tried to talk to him, telling them he just needed to do something really quick, he’d be right back!
He found himself on a balcony. He forgot this was here, honestly, but he remembered sneaking out here when he was younger, balancing on the railing or staring out at the view.
Then he noticed Jason, sitting on the ground and staring out into the night sky. Jason hasn’t heard him enter, it seemed, or maybe he just didn’t care. Dick lowered himself to the ground beside him.
—
Jason startled slightly when he felt something brush against his arm, slowly turning his head to see.. His brother. Dick was sitting next to him with that stupid smile of his, pretending to look into the sky before his gaze fixed on his face and his smile widened.
“Jason! Wow, didn’t see you there,” Dick tried to joke, earning a huff from Jason as he looked down to his hands, away from Dick.
Dick frowned, watching Jason in concern. “Hey, you alright wing? I haven’t seen you in there for a while, how long have you been sitting here?” He asked, earning a shrug from Jason.
“What’s going on, hm?” He asked again. Finally, Jason's gaze fixed on him. “Nothin’, ‘m fine.” He answered, his voice slurred. Dick took a good look at Jason, the way his eyes didn’t stay focused on anything too long, his voice slurred or the way he looked just a blink away from sleep.
“Jason, are you drunk?” He asked and Jason didn’t respond, shrugging again. So he was. Dick hummed, “That’s alright, let’s get you inside. You want to go to your room? I can stay with you.” Dick suggested, already thinking of ways to get past the crowd of people waiting inside.
“No.” Jasons’ voice answered and Dick turned his head back to look at him. “Don’t..” He started but cut himself off, earning a questioning look from Dick. “Don’t what, Jason?” He asked.
“Don’t belong. Anymore.”
Dick could simply stare for a moment, processing his brother’s words. He didn’t belong anymore? What was that supposed to mean? Of course he belonged, he was his little brother . His little wing.
“Jay, what..” He started but Jason cut him off, “Not anymore. Not after I came back.” that shut him up again. He knew Jason was struggling to regain his place in the family but he thought they were making progress, these last months have been going wonderfully! Jason has been visiting the manor a lot more often, the two of them have been having a lot more patrols together than expected.
“Jay, no. Of course you belong here! Why would you think you don’t?” He asked. He knew logically it was wrong to question Jason like this, while the boy was drunk out of his mind, vulnerable. Yet he couldn’t help asking. He couldn’t just let this go, ignore it.
“Came back different. Came back wrong.” Jason muttered, finally lifting his gaze off his hands to look at Dick. Dick almost staggered back at the amount of hurt he saw in those eyes, the amount of pain the boy has suffered. He was so young, yet he has seen so much. Too much.
“You did come back different, yes, but you didn’t come back wrong Jason. You’re still my little brother, Bruce’s second oldest. You’re still our Jay.” He wanted to cup Jason’s face, make him look at him. Make him see he was speaking the truth.
He was surprised to say the least when he saw Jason flinch at the mention of their father. Jason and Bruce had their difficulties in the past but he thought they were on better terms now, they didn’t fight as often anymore, actually able to hold decent conversations! Of course he shouldn’t have just wildly assumed everything was good now, that isn’t how it works.
“Then why..” Jason started, going silent almost immediately. Dick waited him out, keeping his eyes on him as he waited. Jason shifted uncomfortably, breaking his gaze off Dicks again and instead looking out into the sky. “Why did he choose him over me ?” Jason asked and Dick could hear waver in his voice.
“What do you mean?” He asked, gently placing his hand on Jason’s shoulder for comfort. He could still see it. Batman, the batarang, blood. So much blood. He couldn’t breathe and there was a bomb, he was going to die by a bomb again, isn’t that ironic? Left behind by his own father in favour of saving the Clown ! His Killer!
Jason took a minute to calm himself before he spoke again.
“My neck, he..” He reached a hand up to his neck, ghosting over the faded scar. “Batman, he chose him over me.” His voice was almost a whisper.
Dick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The implications were there. The scar wasn’t caused by an unlucky patrol, wasn’t an overlooked detail left by the joker before he.. No. The scar, Batman caused this? Batman slit his son's throat as he chose his son's murderer over him?
Jason shifted, catching Dicks attention. He quickly shook himself out of it, he’d think more about this later. Figure out what to do about this. Right now, his brother needed him.
“Come on, let’s get you inside. We can have a sleepover in my room, how’s that sound?” He asked cheerily, ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth at having Jason go back inside that house, back to the man who swore to protect him, keep him safe.
Jason hummed weakly, letting Dick pull him up and leaning heavily on him as Dick guided them inside the Manor. He couldn’t register any of the stares or the whispers, all he felt were his brother's arms, secure around him.
Keeping him safe.