Chapter Text
GoalkeepingIrishLad: is anybody here?
Deano🦅: couldn’t sleep and I saw your text, is everything alright?
GoalkeepingIrishLad: yeah, just had...a mixed night
Deano🦅: mixed how?
Yassine: yeah, I’m curious
Yassine: you played well against Portugal, you even saved that arrogant, hypertanned diva’s penalty
GoalkeepingIrishLad: yeah, but...
Edi: ohhhhhhhhhh 😟
Edi: you and Diogo were supposed to meet again in this game, right?
GoalkeepingIrishLad: yeah 💔 and we had plans and everything
GoalkeepingIrishLad: but it’s never going to happen now
Yassine: i’m really sorry, it’s so awful what happened to you and your friends
Deano🦅: same
Yassine: btw, Kweev, i’m sorry if you wanted to keep this private, but Darwin saw the messages and told me that he wishes he could hug you now
GoalkeepingIrishLad: tell Darwin that he’s a precious sunshine and I hope he scores a hat-trick in his next game
Edi: is there anything we can do for you, Kweev? i know we’re far, but still
Ali: sorry for being late, I just woke up
Ali: and Kweev, I want to wrap you up in the biggest hug 😥 i’m really sorry I didn’t wake up earlier
GoalkeepingIrishLad: it’s alright, I’m glad you’re getting some sleep
Ali: thank you guys, for looking after him 🙏
Yassine: no problem
Edi: that’s what friends are for
Deano🦅: exactly!!! 😀
Ali: what do you need, Kweev?
GoalkeepingIrishLad: idk 😕
Ali: okay, do you want to talk about it, or do you want us to distract you?
GoalkeepingIrishLad: the second one, please
GoalkeepingIrishLad: i’ve spent the last hour talking about it with the Portugal lads, and I needed it, but now I feel emotionally drained
Edi: I feel you, man
Edi: so, what do you want to talk about?
Mike: I COME BEARING THE GIFT OF DRAMA!!!!
Edi: WOOOT WOOOT
Bart: SAME
Bart: when I catch Virgil, I’m going to roast him like a bucket of chestnuts
Bart: he nearly made us concede against MALTA 😠
Mike: we spent 45 minutes being 0-0 against Azerbaijan 😳 with all the attacking talent we have, that’s humiliating
Mama: now that’s lame drama compared to Georgia’s game earlier
Mama: i spent THE WHOLE GAME pulling my team’s weight 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 and the morons still conceded 2 goals
Marc-AndreDaGoat: that’s the life of playing for a crap international team 😂
Mama: at least I PLAY for my international team
Bart: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
GoalkeepingIrishLad: there go all the Us in the alphabet 🙄
Edi: anybody want to hear about me living my best life in Turkiye?
Marc-AndreDaGoat: NO.
SweeperKeeper: look who’s jealous that I played games for my national team
Yassine: oh no, here we go again
Mike: look, Manu, we’re talking about keepers who play during the international break
Mike: so get out
Deano🦅: does that mean I leave, too? 🥺
Mike: no, you stay, you’re cool
(ANDRE has joined the chat.)
Andre: I. LOVE. MY. LIFE!
Bart: at least someone does
Bart: i hate my defense
Andre: I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT MAN UNITED ANYMORE
Andre: I PLAY FOR A TEAM THAT WINS FOOTBALL GAMES
Andre: MY NATIONAL TEAM CAN WIN FOOTBALL GAMES
Yassine: didn’t you guys just lose to Cabo Verde last time?
Andre: didn’t you guys lose to-
Andre: oh wait, you didn’t
Yassine: ubeaten with my country 😎
Ali: by now, I swear that the Brazil national team hates me
Ali: the ONE time I miss a game, they suddenly know how to score goals
Bart: can we make a ‘financial compensation needed’ group?
Mama: y’all are NOT ready for how rich I’d be with all that compensation I’d get for saving my team’s butts
Edi: i’m living my best life too
Edi: i’m in a no-judgment zone WOOT WOOT
Edi: and there’s great barbeque here too!
Yassine: holaaaaaa
Ali: darwin? AGAIN?!
Mike: Yassine really needs to put a child-protection password on his phone 🙄
Yassine: I’M TWENTY-SIX!
Yassine: also I wanted to tell you guys some international gossip
Mike: ALL HAIL DARWIN THE GOAT
Mama: 🐐
GoalkeepingIrishLad: ya little troll 😂 i like you
Mama: we should go bowling one of these days!
GoalkeepingIrishLad: never tried bowling 🤔 let’s to it!
Yassine: LUCHO LIKES CODYYYYYY
Ali: oh, i wonder how you’d know that
Yassine: Lucho told me 😁 but he said that he’s afraid that Cody will refuse because they’d be long-distance
GoalkeepingIrishLad: wow, Lucho’s dafter than I thought
Ali: I’ll bet you right now Cody’s writing a poem for Lucho
Bart: HE IS
Bart: he asked Ryan what rhymes with “i can’t wait to see you again” and ryan said “cologne of durian” and now Cody’s chasing Ryan with a Roomba with plastic knives taped to it
Yassine: I’M BACK
Ali: is this Yassine or Darwin???
Yassine: it’s me, Yassine
Yassine: the Moroccan goalkeeper
Yassine: born in 1991
Yassine: moved from Canada to Morocco when I was two years old
Ali: okay, I believe you 😂 I thought Darwin was playing a trick on us
Yassine: I don’t blame you
Yassine: also, I saw Darwin’s texts, and I bet you 25 euros that it’ll take until next year for Lucho and Cody to confess 😂
Andre: I say it’ll be far less than that, a few weeks
GoalkeepingIrishLad: i say this time next week, they’re together 🤣
Ali: i’ll give it two weeks
Mama: I’m going with Yassine’s bet
Edi: I’ll go with Ali
Bart: I’m going with Kweev
Mike: i honestly don’t know them, so I can’t say
Deano🦅: same
Marc-AndreDaGoat: yeah
GoalkeepingIrishLad: I’ve got to go, I’m so tired that the words on the screen are blurring in front of my eyes 🥱
GoalkeepingIrishLad: thank you all for being here and talking with me, it really means a lot 🙏🫶🙏🫶🙏🫶
Ali: Anytime, Kweev 🤗😊 we’re always here if you need us
Edi: no problem bro 👍
Bart: 👍
Mike: 👍
Andre: 👍 glad we could help
Yassine: Now, goodnight, Kweev
Mama: and sleep well!
Ali: Sweet dreams, trevinho
Deano🦅: I’ll come see you in person when international “break” is over, OK?
GoalkeepingIrishLad: okhefoinefkn....................
Ali: i think he’s sleeping 🥰
Mama: good, now I’m going to sleep, too
Mike: let’s ALL go to bed now
Yassine: BUENAS NOCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS