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They’ve been trying to find First Lieutenant Havoc’s spouse for years now.
Three to be precise.
The rules are: no stalking, no looking at personal files, and no (especially in Roy’s case) using spies. Havoc can pick and choose which questions he (and Breda) answer.
Roy is so determined to win he’s kept a list of every bit of information he’s gathered on Havoc’s spouse.
— Male.
This one was the easiest. Havoc failed miserably to hide his sexuality crisis several years ago and when he calmed it was clear his partner was male. Good for him.
— Well-known enough that they COULD have heard of him and they aren’t just guessing a random stranger
This had been an important hint. It meant that there was every chance Roy had already seen Havoc’s Husband’s name somewhere and just hadn't got enough pieces of the puzzle to put them together. He keeps a close eye on published articles and papers, making a note of the names and the people associated with them.
So far, he’s found no article that references Havoc as the husband of anyone. Maybe Havoc’s Husband isn’t well-known enough for press…
— Younger than Lt. Havoc (who is currently 38)
— Shorter than Lt. Havoc (by approximately a head)
— Likes White Wine, not Red
All of those courtesy of First Lieutenant Breda, who has been exempt from the contest from the beginning due to him having been the best man in their wedding. He teases pictures and pictures they’ve seen but none that feature Havoc’s Husband. Not even friends or family members that could help point them in the right direction. Just Havoc’s mother, Martha, Havoc himself, and Breda.
All Roy has learned from the pictures is that they look nice all dressed up.
— Highly intelligent
Both Havoc and Breda have made several various comments that all allude to the same thing: Havoc’s Husband is extremely intelligent. This does not mean he is strategic in any way as he has never beaten Breda in a game of chess. Still, while Havoc boasting his husband’s intelligence is to be expected… It's another thing for Breda to sincerely admit that Havoc’s Husband is genuinely one of the most intelligent people he knows, if not the most. That is high praise, indeed.
Also likely indicative of his career. Something mentally challenging. Roy would guess alchemist but somehow he doesn’t see Havoc marrying an alchemist. Maybe he’s wrong.
He can’t be a politician. Roy would’ve heard of him. He’d have been able to guess based solely off of what he knows of his physical appearance. Approximately his size, a young and intelligent man… He surely would’ve caught Roy’s attention.
A doctor is a challenging career. A lawyer. A mechanic. An engineer.
— A Great Cook
Every Sunday, the one guaranteed day off and the day before the work week begins again, Breda goes to Havoc’s house and eats dinner. Every Monday they arrive together—implying that not only do they eat together but Breda stays over at their house—and they sit there and obnoxiously praise the food. They describe it in excruciating detail until all of them take lunch early and every time the food receiving excessive praise was made by Havoc’s Husband.
Roy is a little jealous. It sounds amazing. He wants to try his food.
— Prefers dogs and yet owns two cats. One due to his brother’s influence
— Has a brother
Roy had hoped after the fiasco with Black Hayate, that would be the end of their office providing a safe haven for strays.
He was wrong.
At least it wasn’t Fuery who had brought in the box of kittens. It was Falman. He’d said he’d seen them in the rain and just couldn’t leave them. He looked just as soaking wet and pathetic as the cats in his arms and Roy couldn’t tell him no, especially not in-between his subordinate’s apologies.
They had been bickering over the cats for several minutes when Havoc decided to pick one up. He picked it up by the scruff and stared straight into the eyes of this tiny brown kitten and said, “We’ve got a cat at home. You gonna be nice to her?” When no response came, Havoc snorted and placed the kitten in his lap. “She’ll put ya in your place if not. I’ll take ya home.”
After the kittens had been successfully distributed within Central Command, Hawkeye braved asking Havoc about his first cat. Havoc revealed that she’d been a gag wedding gift from his husband’s younger brother but they ended up taking her anyway. She’s the queen of the house and, despite his husband being more of a dog person, he spoils her relentlessly. His brother is the cat person. (“Think crazy cat lady but he’s a guy and he’s got a wife who isn’t a crazy cat lady.”)
Havoc told a story when he came back the next day. His husband hadn’t been entirely happy he brought home another cat. He tried to say no, at first. Havoc practically begged and his husband gave in.
Katze is the name of their first cat. They named the kitten Bean. Havoc often shares pictures of them curled up together. (He hints he has more where they’re curled up with his husband but he dramatically declares they’re for his eyes only. With the way Breda rolled his eyes, that’s likely an exaggeration. He likely meant: you won’t see them until you figure him out. Roy will see those pictures.)
— Long Hair
Havoc had complained one day about how long his husband took to do his hair in the morning. Breda made a comment that if it bothered him so much to convince his husband to cut his hair.
Havoc had reacted like someone had affronted him. Hand on his chest, full-blown gasp. “How dare you,” He had uttered, “His hair is amazing.”
“Then stop complaining or I’ll cut it in his sleep.” Havoc grumbled but dutifully stopped complaining. It made Roy wonder just how often Breda had made threats in the past and how often he’d followed through with them to get such immediate submission.
— Doesn’t like the military.
Despite Havoc being a dutiful soldier, his husband is surprisingly anti-military. Breda described it once as: “He doesn’t really mind what you do as long as you keep it out of his face. It’s the establishment itself that he hates, not the little rats that are forced to run it.” The language was out of character enough for Breda that Roy can only assume he took those words directly from Havoc’s Husband’s mouth.
Roy will admit to once trying to fish for his husband’s career, if only to see if he might ever be available to consult on difficult cases. Havoc was uncharacteristically serious when he said no. He said: “He won’t work with us. The military is a hard line, it’ll probably take the world ending for him to even consider taking a civilian contract with you—he knows I trust you to hell and back and will still hesitate.”
In short… His feelings towards the military and working with the military is ‘not-great’ and he only tolerates Roy’s existence because it keeps Havoc alive.
He must love Havoc a great deal in order to look past the dutiful soldier.
— Works long and sometimes unpredictable hours
This one Roy picked up on over time. During light conversation, Havoc would make some tiny comment about his husband working late or other days he had to go in obnoxiously early. Some days Havoc hadn’t even seen him in-between getting home and coming back into work. Those are the days he smokes an entire pack instead of only half.
(That’s another interesting but useless (in finding him) fact. He’s actually managed to get Havoc cut back on his smoking. Roy wonders if he’ll be able to get him to stop completely? Unlikely but maybe.)
This meant he likely worked in some job either dealing with people or time-sensitive things. Combined with his intelligence, Roy guesses a chemist. Maybe he really is an alchemist. Maybe there was a breakthrough… but Roy has a hard time picturing Havoc’s Husband working for the military labs and Roy isn’t entirely sure of the state of any civilian run labs, if there are any.
Lawyer. Doctor. Engineer. Teacher, even. Professor? No, those last two wouldn’t require too many odd hours… Unless he was a workaholic but with all Roy’s heard about his cooking skills that seems unlikely.
— Studied in Xing
— Is athletically capable/a trained martial artist
Studied what in Xing, he’s not sure. They were never clear on that. But they did make it clear he learned their martial arts in-between what he was there studying, so he likely wasn’t originally there to learn how to fight. Roy learned this one entirely by accident, when he overheard Havoc and Breda speaking Xingese in the office and he questioned them. They admitted that Havoc’s Husband has a habit of rambling on in Xingese and instead of sitting there and politely absorbing it, they learned the language for their friend.
Whatever he was in Xing for, he came out of it as skilled as a Xingan assassin. Which is… horrifying. Roy has heard stories of how dangerously effective they are and, not for the first time, he seriously wonders what kind of skill set Havoc’s Husband has. Havoc looked far too excited to admit his husband could flip him over his shoulder without even breaking a sweat.
They also implied that he has a personal relationship with at least two clans in Xing but wouldn’t tell him which ones—as if he really knows the significance of the different clans. (He’s trying. There’s just so many to keep track of and it seems their status changes every time he looks at a new report.)
His brother, evidently, lives in Xing which must mean his wife is Xingan. Or maybe he is? But the ‘Studied in’ and ‘traveled to’ aspects of the story lead Roy to believe that Havoc’s Husband is definitely not Xingan, which likely means his brother isn’t either.
— IS an alchemist
This bit of information is new. Roy had been consulting with his team over a new rouge alchemist—one using particularly tricky alchemy to terrorize Central. Havoc had made a comment on the alchemy. Even Roy hadn’t been able to completely wrap his head around the alchemy until the comment Havoc made. Then suddenly it made a little more sense.
Now, Roy doesn’t know everything about his team but he prides himself on the fact that he knows a great deal. He’s friends with every member of his team. Havoc has never been an alchemist and has never even shown a passing interest in it. He’s often with Maes on the sidelines making snarky comments about alchemists, actually.
So, how in the world did Havoc know enough about it to explain it to Roy? He concluded that Havoc’s Husband is an alchemist. At the very least he’s studied it enough that Havoc has learned some through a variety of osmosis and listening to his partner talk about it. Which also means that Havoc’s Husband must be passionate about alchemy—if he’s to talk about it enough that Havoc learns something. Havoc is no idiot, he’s irrevocably intelligent despite what many claim, but he’s never been apt in alchemy.
Is it just a hobby or is it a career? Making an array takes years and years of investment and Havoc never seems to complain too much about his husband never leaving his notes alone. It must be a hobby. He enjoys learning about it but he doesn’t make his own arrays…
Xing. He studied in Xing, he must’ve studied their alchemy, which Roy has heard is fundamentally different from Amestris’ alchemy.
He pauses his notes and brainstorming to make a trip to the library.
A day and a half later he knows more about alkahestry than he ever has before. The focus of it is medicinal. Paired with unpredictable long hours…
Shit. He recognizes those sets of circumstances.
Roy scrambles into a desk drawer to find an old magazine. Alchemist papers published by Central University.
He’d brushed over it. He’s not a medical alchemist—Hell, medical alchemy has only just begun de-stigmatization in Amestris—and so he had recognized it as significant but hadn’t read it wholly. He’d scanned it. He also recognized the name—they’d published papers before.
Dr. Edward Elric.
It’s a slight reach. It’s jumping to some conclusions. But there aren’t many well-known alchemists that have studied in Xing. A tiny bit of research tells Roy that Dr. Elric does have long hair and he’s only 30.
Roy searches through the past magazines to find Dr. Elric’s previously published papers. He hasn’t published any in the last three years but he’s been working at Central Hospital since then. Every paper was published in the seven years before then. Intelligent, indeed.
He’s confident his guess is a good one. There’s a part of him that fears he’s mistaken.
He tries it.
Roy ensures his entire team is present for it, that’s how confident he is. He intends to make a vague but specific reference to Dr. Elric, that’s how not-confident he is.
Havoc’s response will tell him all he needs to know.
“Does your husband have permission from Xing to use those arrays?” Roy asks Lieutenant Havoc in the late morning. It catches the attention of everyone, all except for Havoc’s full attention.
The question is strategic in several ways. One, it implies that Roy does know his identity. Two, it tells him whether he’ll have an international problem on his hands. If Xing isn’t okay with Dr. Elric using these arrays for Amestris’ benefit then Roy might have to have a talk with him.
“Yeah,” Havoc tells him without looking up from his paperwork, “Got permission direct from the Emperor and everything.”
Roy grins triumphantly, something like pride settling in his chest.
Havoc seems to register what he said and his head snaps up, mouth open. “What clued you in?” He asks, eyes narrow.
But then Roy registers what Havoc had said and his grin drops. “Wait, what do you mean ‘direct from the Emperor’?” They may have developed friendly relations with Xing, an alliance, and a railroad… but only Führer Grumman has ever had direct contact with Emperor Yao.
“My question first, Chief.”
Roy has the identity of Havoc’s Husband but now he has more questions than ever. “I figured out he’s an alchemist because of the comment you made about the recent case,” He explains, speaking a little faster than he might’ve normally, “I knew there was no conceivable possibility you were studying alchemy, so I decided it was your husband. Combined with the fact that he’s studied in Xing… I pieced it together from there.” He crosses his arms. “The Emperor?”
Havoc sighs and leans back in his chair. “They were friends before he was Emperor. They’ve stayed friends since. They met when my husband was studying in Xing. You know how wild it is to pick up the phone and the Emperor is on the other side? He insists I call him Ling. He’s still pouting over the fact that he wasn’t at our wedding. Honestly kind of a fun guy, but a little terrifying when he enters ‘Emperor’ mode.”
Roy is well aware that the leaders of countries are actual people when they aren’t being the leader. Still, hearing about Emperor Yao’s personal life and how he may be in a personal setting is—strange. Stranger still that one of his team is personally related to him.
Roy uses his winnings from the pool to take them all to lunch because he’s an Excellent boss like that. He urges Havoc to invite his husband to lunch.
Dr. Elric isn’t there when they sit down and hasn’t arrived after several minutes, so Roy takes the opportunity to pry more into their relationship with the Emperor. “Honestly, if he were to ever visit Amestris he’d probably force us to have a whole other ceremony ‘cause he’s so upset he wasn’t a part of the first.”
“Who, Ling?” Roy glances over Havoc’s shoulder and therein stands Dr. Edward Elric. He’s wearing a sweater and jeans, his hair is braided over his shoulder.
“Ya,” Havoc doesn’t even flinch, “Ling.” Dr. Elric slips into the empty chair between Havoc and Breda.
“He probably would,” He agrees, “But I’d force him to pay for the whole thing and then he’d bitch at me for it because he’s a goddamn gold digger but he’d do it. He’d probably be happier than anyone else doing the damn thing all over again.” The words may seem harsh to anyone else but Dr. Elric delivers them with an exasperated fondness and a smile, completely unconvincing of any sort of malice meant in his words. “So,” He leaned onto the table and closer to the rest of the team, “Which one you figured it out?”
His grin isn’t unkind, necessarily, but it’s more teeth than one might expect from someone else. Roy raises a hand to claim, though he gets the feeling it’s akin to volunteering for the gallows.
“General Mustang,” Dr. Elric drawls. The grin almost turns predatory. “Congrats.”
Abruptly, he understands Havoc’s crisis far better. Not a minute into the meeting, Roy can tell that Havoc’s Husband is larger-than-life in a way that draws the attention of everyone in a room. Fiercely intelligent and drop-dead gorgeous. To be on the receiving end of his attention is to play with fire. Hell, Roy is comfortable with his sexuality (and playing with fire) and he’d have a crisis over falling in love with this man.
He spares only a moment of envy.
He nods at Dr. Elric with a polite smile. “Thank you.”
Havoc throws an arm around Dr. Elric’s shoulders. “Hope work isn’t too bad, Gorgeous.” And Havoc’s Husband’s face scrunches up in equal parts fondness and distaste for the display of affection. But he’s quick to start telling Havoc about his day.
What a wonder. What a beaut. Havoc’s a lucky guy.
Work. Dr. Edward Elric is currently head physician at Central Hospital. Far enough away from the military to be comfortable and to reserve the right to refuse assignments but close enough that he’s making a significant impact.
He single-handedly began to refute the idea that healing alchemy is human transmutation and spearheaded changing that stigmatization. He has taken on a gaggle of students all eager to learn his alchemy. He’s taken alkahestry medical arrays and translated them into Amestrian alchemy, allowing alchemists uneducated in alkahestry to use them.
From what Roy understands, alkahestry uses a different power source than alchemy—one that takes significant time and practice to learn. Dr. Elric had wanted to make the arrays accessible and better the medical care here in Amestris. He took the details of the arrays out and changed the fundamentals and then put those details right back. All of which he’d detailed in the papers that Roy had hardly skimmed before.
(Roy read his papers once he was comfortable in saying that he was most likely Havoc’s Husband. Even if he hadn’t ended up being Havoc’s Husband, Roy is kicking himself for passing over such genius so easily.)
Survival rate, possibility of diagnosis, and probably even overall life expectancy has increased since Dr. Elric first published his papers and started making waves in the medical field (though, they’ll have to wait a few decades for that last confirmation).
All before thirty years old.
Roy is, quite literally, sitting across from someone who will go down in the history books. They’ll have hospitals named after him, any hospital would be drowning in grants and sponsorships if he worked there. No one will ever again be able to talk about medicine without talking about Dr. Edward Elric.
Lieutenant Havoc hid this right before their very eyes. Lieutenant Havoc is married to this man and Roy had no idea.
He’s impressed. A little miffed. Mostly impressed.
The smug look on Lieutenant Breda’s face tells Roy that he knows exactly what he’s thinking.
Okay. He’s wholly impressed. Roy is going to go to Maes after this and brag about part of his team deceiving him so effectively like a proud parent.
Fuery finally gets wind of Havoc’s Husband’s name and he and Falman proceed to act like schoolgirls. Evidently, his men have long since heard of Dr. Elric’s exploits and admire him greatly.
Well. Hawkeye can’t be too mad if they stay longer than their lunch break.