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Reality Checks for the Absurdly Wealthy by Elpie (Horribibble)
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
01 Feb 2025
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Summary
It’s 2 PM on a Tuesday and Jin Zixuan is curled up in the corner of a dingy basement laundry room, tears in his eyes as he struggles to understand why the universe—and this washing machine in particular—hates him.
And then the door squeaks open, and Zixuan’s only reaction is to stuff his face into his stupid quarter-zip like a cashmere fleece turtle.
“Is someone in here, or is the laundry room haunted again?” A man’s voice calls, and it’s almost jarring how friendly it is.“Again?” Zixuan hiccups.
Footsteps on the tile, and then there’s a man frowning down at him with open concern. “Aw, bud. Are you crying? Me too sometimes.” And he pops a squat, right there in front of the sad turtle man, and Zixuan gets a close up of the riot of tattoos on his arms and peeking through the gaping rips in his jeans. “I’m Wei Ying.”
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In which Jin Zixuan gets cut off and is quickly adopted by a pair of heavily-tattooed magpies who teach him how to do things like do laundry, ride the bus, and take control of his own stupid life.
An ode to friendship and emotional support dipshits.