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He and Lloyd weren’t exactly…‘close’. They spoke briefly every once in a while but for the most part their interactions were full of either pranks or high pitched squeaks and scurried footsteps.
The kid seemed a little scared of him, honestly. Which he found somewhat funny but mostly confusing since he had never really encountered the kid much before he became a resident here, besides a few times…which usually ended embarrassingly for the boy.
Well…okay, that was fair, except for the fact that he wasn’t scared of anyone else. Why that bothered him, he really didn’t know, or, at least, that’s what he told himself, but for now he was content to disregard it.
He ignored him for the most part, really. The pranks that seemed to only be getting worse were things he had to force himself not to react to since he was just a kid with a shit-load of trauma hanging over his head and hadn’t been raised well in any sense of the word. He had also been told that his own temper was prone to flying off the handle and the last thing he wanted to do was overreact and end up with the kid even more fidgety around him.
So he reined it in, took deep breaths, counted to fifty since ten had stopped working for him months ago, and he would walk away.
Because that’s what mature people do, right?
They walk away.
Except…they don’t. And he knew that very well.
He didn’t exactly like the kid but he felt for him. He saw the grotesque weight ever-pressing down on his small shoulders, mirroring his own child-self and he hated the protective instinct that flared up whenever his mother or father were mentioned. And the kid must have noticed that, by the way he stared at him with wide eyes for the rest of the day after he had accidentally slipped up and snapped out something along the lines of ‘don’t talk about his mother as if she has anything to do with him, he’s his own damn person, don’t tie him down to the likes of them’...or something like that.
Shit, one would think the kid was a duckling he had imprinted on the second he hatched with the way he trailed after him that day, watching him from whatever sorry attempt at a hiding place he could find.
Despite popular belief, Kai was not, in fact, an idiot. He saw the way the boy would look at him whenever he watched him train. He saw the expression on his face whenever he addressed him in some miniscule way, even if it was just asking to pass the damn salt. And he saw that his pranks were desperate attempts at getting his attention.
But it was all such a bad idea.
The reason he had buried all the knowledge he had painstakingly learned over the years in order to raise Nya properly, to put it simply, was because the kid was not good for him. He was the opposite, actually. And he was bad for him right back.
And there were a lot of reasons for it too.
Lloyd was the son of Lord Garmadon, he probably wouldn’t be sticking around them too long and even if he did, what did they expect? He would have to choose between them and his own father which would probably result in resentment towards both sides if he got confused enough.
Lloyd was full of issues, anyone could see it, he was no exception. The problem was, if they did grow close, he would be very attached, more so than most due to his abandonment issues.
And why was that a problem, you may ask?
Well…because Kai was not a life-line.
Kai was a part of a diseased race, a doomed species…
The boy looked up to him already, but if the boy clung to him?
He would have nothing to cling to before long.
This team put their lives on the line every day, but getting attached to the others wasn't necessarily a bad idea, it was fine for the most part, maybe even good, but that was only because Kai would be there to take every blow that would permanently damage them.
He was the protector, always had been, always would be. It was sewn into the very fabric of his being. So if this kid got attached…well…he didn’t want to leave him in the dust like his parents had.
Best course of action? Not to let it get that far.
So he watched his tongue, made sure not to say anything else that the kid would interpret as ‘cool’ or some other bullshit and he ignored him, he brushed past him, tried desperately not to acknowledge him because he knew if he let himself he would dive off the deep end into big-brother mode and his heart would never be able to pull itself back out.
During a fight against the stupid Serpentine, a Venomari had lunged at Lloyd, so, of course, he had grabbed the kid, pulled him behind him, and then threw the snake over the side of the Bounty…he was probably fine.
The problem was that a few days after his having done that, Nya cornered him in his room.
“Kai, you should have seen him!” She threw hands up as she was prone to do when adamantly expressing herself. “He is obsessed with you!”
He scoffed, turning back to his comic. “I highly doubt that.”
“Oh, what do you know? Listen to this and tell me you don’t think he adores you.”
He sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle and he leaned back in his chair, looking up at her and gesturing for her to continue and she took that as an invitation to hop up on his desk, knocking his comic book off the side of it but she interrupted any protesting he may have voiced.
“We were telling stories about that time in downtown Ninjago when you guys were fighting robbers or something and whenever anyone drifted from their mentioning of you for a moment too long, he would interrupt and say stuff like ‘what did Kai do’, ‘where was Kai’, ‘what was Kai doing’ and he never stopped.”
He shifted uncomfortably.
“Zane caught on before long and told that story about the gang fight where you pulled that stupid reckless move when wrestling the leader guy with a knife–I haven’t let that go, by the way–” He rolled his eyes. “--And you should have seen the way his eyes lit up. You would think you were some kind of god!”
“I am a god.” He huffed, picking up the fallen comic book only for it to be snatched right out of his hand and he was met with a cold glare.
“What’s with you? He thinks you hung the moon and you’re not even kind of basking in the glory of it.”
He tugged the comic back out of her hands. “That’s because he’s nine. Anyone meets that description for him, even people who don’t exist.”
Her eyes narrowed. “He’s allowed to look up to you.”
His jaw tightened as his stomach twisted. No, he wasn’t. He couldn’t look up to him because that meant he would want to take after him. He was a terrible example, he would never wish the hell of being like himself on anyone else.
“He’s just a kid, he needs this. You have to at least look at him sometimes.”
He forced a smile. “Thanks for the concern, Nya. I appreciate it, you know I do, but I know what I'm doing, and trust me, it's for the best. He’s a tough kid, he’ll manage without me." He shrugged off any rising discomfort at those words. "Besides, if he gets to know me, that’ll take all the magic out of it.”
She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Never meet your heroes, kind of deal?”
He grinned, “Exactly.”
She shook her head and left the room with a huff, slamming the door behind her.
Kai would really have to step up his game and hold him at arm's length even more than before.
No matter what Nya said, no matter what anyone said, he couldn’t let the kid get attached to him. That would be like pulling the rug out from under him after that very thing having been done to him so many times before. He wouldn’t–he couldn’t –be like them. He couldn’t give this boy something to hold onto only for it to be ripped away. He couldn’t be like everyone else in this boy’s life.
So he tried his absolute best to avoid the kid at all costs.
But then Nya had to go and fuck it up.
He woke up and dragged himself over to the kitchen only to find a note from everyone, informing him that they had left for the day to go to town and that he and Lloyd were to stay and man the ship.
Together.
Without anyone else.
The winky face Nya had drawn at the bottom had him cursing and crumpling up the damn paper and throwing it at the wall with far more force than necessary.
He leaned heavily against the counter-top, hanging his head and breathing deeply.
Of fucking course this would happen to him. And it wasn’t like he could leave the kid alone all day, he was still a very active troublemaker.
So, conclusion?
He was screwed.
“Kai?”
He took a deep breath, steeling himself as he turned to look back over his shoulder at the little boy with flushed cheeks and messy hair standing in the doorway, rubbing his eye in a comically adorable fashion. He really was a cute kid.
He lowered his little fist and frowned, looking around the room. “Where–uhh…is everyone?”
“Oh–” Right, yeah, he had to break it to him…and he really hoped the kid wouldn’t freak out. “They, uh, went out. It’s just us today, kiddo.” He tried to smile but it felt far too false to keep up as the boy stared at him wide-eyed.
“Us? Alone? All…all day?”
Damn, this kid made it sound like he was going to kill him.
“Yup...” How to make this easier… “So whatcha want for breakfast?”
The boy hesitantly sat down on a stool at the counter. “Whatever’s good, I guess.” He muttered, unsure and confused, probably still trying to process the fact that he had been left alone with something so close to a complete stranger and he bit back a sigh.
The poor kid was looking at him as if he expected him to skin him alive, and while that shouldn’t bother him, it really did.
The boy swallowed thickly gaze flickering around the room in an attempt to look anywhere but at him. “It had better be sweet though, I won’t eat that green stuff.”
He grimaced at the pathetic attempt at upholding his usual facade as it really did fall flat with the way he tugged anxiously at the bottom of his over-sized shirt that had a loose string he was constantly fiddling with hanging from the sleeve, tone wavering in terribly masked nervousness.
Well…shit. This kid would be the death of him. Maybe one damn day of being nice to the boy wouldn’t hurt…
“That so?” He raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter to smirk maniacally directly in the boy's face who pulled backwards so quickly he nearly tumbled off the stool.
“I–”
A short intake of breath had him fearing the kid would panic more than he already was and so he quickly continued nonchalantly, popping a blueberry in his mouth as he glanced around the room.
“Whaddya think kid, you’re good with pranks. Wanna help me get my sister?”
His eyes grew impossibly wide. And honestly, what did Nya expect? That there would be no retaliation for this stunt? Well he’d have to make sure she never challenged him to a war of this nature ever again.
“You–you wanna prank your sister?” He pointed from him to his own chest. “With me…?”
He shrugged. “I don’t see why not. And hey, why not get every single one of ‘em? We have all day and I don’t know about you but I’ve got nothin scheduled. Besides, they’re the ones that thought it’d be a good idea to leave a mischievous little prankster with the most badass ninja ever. They were asking for it, don’t you think?” He winked and the kid looked as though he had been hit by a lightning bolt, he was so shocked.
“But first,” He held up a finger, interrupting the stuttering nonsense that was about to tumble from the boy’s lips. “Breakfast. I’ve got a pretty wide range, if I do say so myself, so what’re you hungry for?”
The kid only stared at him.
Okay, this was getting ridiculous. Sure, he had been tough and…maybe a little cold in the past, but this kid was treating him as if he had become an entirely different person just because he was being nice.
This was off to a bad start.
“Uhh–” He finally found his voice. “I…don’t know. What’re you hungry for?”
Deflection was not what he expected, especially from a boy who had spent his days stealing a bunch of candy less than a month ago, but if the kid really was as in awe of him as Nya made him out to be he supposed it wasn’t a huge surprise that he was trying to play it 'cool' or something.
“Aw c’mon kid, don’t give me that.” He gave him a cheeky grin, trying his best to lighten the atmosphere. “No one’s here to stop ya. We’ve got flour, sugar, eggs, other ingredients and shit, and a baking book. My cooking skills may not be Zane-tier but I could best Jay or Cole any day. I’m feeling a little edgy at the moment, let’s take it out on the kitchen.” The boy snorted and he counted that as a win as he gestured to him. “Go crazy.”
The kid seemed hesitant at first but soon all sorts of requests were being made, ideas of cake and crepes and french toast and waffles and egg-bacon-cheese burgers all were tossed around. He clearly expected the requests to be ignored for the most part but soon enough the kitchen was a disaster, food set on the table along with all kinds of drinks as the nine-year old’s eyes practically lit up and he didn't even notice the boyishly large grin on his own face at the adoring look he was receiving.
Before they had a chance to sit down, however, Lloyd slipped on an egg he had dropped earlier and ended up on the ground.
Kai reached down to help him up and the kid took his syrup covered hand in his.
The only warning Kai gave for what he was about to do next was the devilish glint in his eye before he plopped down a handful of flour into the boy’s hair.
At first the kid had only gawked at him, but he quickly recovered and let out a noise akin to a war-cry and all hell broke loose.
Flour and sugar and toast and everything they could get their hands on was thrown around the room until Kai was panting like he had just run a marathon, hair dripping with egg-whites and Lloyd was on the floor clutching his stomach as he giggled ceaselessly at Kai’s ‘new and improved’ look.
Breakfast was devoured in record time despite how much there was, Lloyd finally having taken the initiative and started up an eating contest.
As per Lloyd’s request, they did not take showers since, according to him, they would need to put all their time into setting up the pranks.
A long couple hours of working tirelessly on everything, they both sat on the deck, their backs leaning against the railing, Kai with his eyes shut and Lloyd looking up at the reddish-orange sky.
It was sunset now, and Kai absently noted that the whole day had gone far more smoothly than he would have thought…and that terrified him just as much as it made him smile.
“Hey, look!” His arm was jostled and he cracked one eye open to look at the boy’s beaming grin and he found himself smiling despite himself.
“What?”
“The sun!”
He looked over at where the sun was steadily sinking below the horizon. It really was beautiful, but he didn’t take the kid for the ‘taking in the beauty of nature’ type. He could appreciate it, of course, but he was pretty sure the kid had been looking for an excuse to say something to him and that was all he could come up with. He found he really didn't mind.
“Woo,” He grinned. “Now that’s a light show. Think I can make a fireball as big as that?”
“You would die.” The kid laughed and he shrugged in response.
Soon the sun had fallen asleep and since everyone had yet to return, they decided to watch a movie. Which, of course, had Lloyd begging to watch a horror movie since, when the others were around, he wasn't allowed.
“You’re gonna have nightmares and Nya will blame me for it!”
“No, I won’t! Please Kai? If you do, I–I–uhh–I won’t prank you for a week!”
His eyes narrowed. “How about you won’t prank me ever ?”
Lloyd scoffed. “That’s not an equal exchange, cheapskate!”
“Hey! I’m saving your butt here, I don’t know how much longer I can take your little pranks before I snap and show everyone the baby pictures I found of you in Wu’s closet.”
His eyes grew wide. “You…you wouldn’t.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh but I would .”
“Where are those accursed things?!”
“I’ll never tell.”
He grabbed a pillow and hit him across the face.
“ Oh you’re gonna pay for that, bud!” He threw an arm around his waist as when he tried to run, pulling him down into his lap and digging his fingers into his sides, grinning cruelly at the pained laughter sounding in response.
“S-s-st– op !”
“You asked for it!”
“Y–ou–you’re evil !”
“I’ll take that as a compliment coming from you, ya little punk.”
“Ahh! I–I will ge–get revenge!”
“I’d like to see you try!”
“Ah–Nooo–I–Hahah–” Tears sparked at the sides of his eyes as he doubled over, hands fumbling around in an attempt to stop him from tickling him but it was no use.
Finally, he let the kid go after his sides and stomach ached and he wiped the tears from his eyes as his laughter simmered down and he swallowed, the red faced smile being replaced by a glare.
“Oh don’t give me that look.” He ruffled his grimy hair. “Ugh, eww, it’s sticky .”
“That’s your fault!”
“You started it!”
“No, I didn’t ! You did!”
“...I did, didn’t I?”
The boy huffed and rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “So…horror movie?”
He looked at him skeptically while the nine-year old’s face changed into one of pleading, hands folding out in front of him as he stuck out his lower lip.
He scowled. “A month.”
“A month?!”
“It’s only fair since that’s probably the amount of time you’ll be having nightmares about this.”
“...Fine…but you’re cheap .”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you’re a sucker.” He flicked his forehead with a smirk and turned to the TV.
With candy and chips strewn about the room, they turned on some horror movie that Kai judged to not be too bad but still bad enough that the kid would allow it.
Before long, the boy was clutching his arm, wide eyes fixed on the screen with his mouth hanging slightly open, form ridged and feet tucked under him as he unconsciously drew closer to him.
A few jump-scares and one cliffhanger ending later, the movie was over and most of the snacks had been devoured, wrappers left in their wake all across the room.
Kai yawned, turning off the TV and fully prepared to hit the sack when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down at the kid who kept glancing into the dark shadows around them and back at him pleadingly.
He bit back a sigh and turned to him fully. “It’s bedtime, kiddo.”
“But–!” He gave a prolonged glance into the dark doorway, squinting his eyes to make sure there was nothing there before looking back at him and continuing as if he hadn’t stopped. “But they’re not back yet and we have to see when they fall into the traps!”
“They’ll probably be back in the morning.” He raised an amused eyebrow at the desperation in his voice and demeanor.
“But–but we don’t know when they’ll be back! Let’s–let’s pull an all-nighter! It’ll be fun!”
He snorted. “C’mon kid, gimme a break, Nya will kill me if she finds out I let you–”
“ Please , Kai?”
He paused, swallowing thickly as he looked at the child. This feeling in his chest and stomach, this warmth and fondness was all too familiar, making him flash back to the old days like this where he had similar conversations with a younger Nya. She never lasted more than an hour trying to stay up all night and he always timed her…
He found himself smiling. “Alright. Just this once.” He settled back down beside him and he pulled a blanket over both of them, brushing off a few crumbs before catching sight of the look he was being given.
His brow furrowed at the expression he found on the other’s face, hesitant and fearful but this time not of the shadowy-mind-conjured figures potentially in the darkness in his imagination. No…this was fear of him .
“What’s wrong?” He found himself asking without meaning to and he mentally cursed himself.
That was a terrible thing to say. The kid should be wary of him, not want to confide in him. If he did tell him, he couldn’t console him because whatever fear he had was surely founded in some amount of truth and he wasn’t supposed to reassure him because then he would think it wasn’t valid, and it was .
Fuck , it was…
“I had fun today…” He spoke in a small voice. Vulnerable, too vulnerable. He shouldn’t trust him like this, why did he trust him like this? He was giving him something to hurt him with, vulnerability always did that, and this kid, with the hellish life he had had, must have known that…so why ?
And he hoped to high heaven he didn’t already know the answer.
“I had fun but…” His lips pursed and head lowered, eyelids drooping as his shoulders hunched. “But was it just this once?” His voice wobbled along with his bottom lip, and he wished he didn’t know that he was about to cry, he wished he couldn’t hear the fear, the resignation…but wishes never did come true for him.
“Kid, I–”
“Tomorrow will you go back to hating me?” He looked up at him, the small amount of light in the room causing his tears to gleam and his heart to seemingly pull to a shuddering stop as he froze.
Oh…
Oh, that…that was not–that was never –he hadn’t meant to make the kid think he hated him. That was uncalled for and cruel and…and…oh fuck , he had really messed up.
He swallowed thickly, the small child in front of him choking back sobs and trying desperately to be strong even though…even though he thought the guy he looked up to so much...hated him...
Fucking shit , Kai would never forgive himself for this.
He couldn’t speak, the tightness of his throat stifling the sound so he did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around the kid and secured the little trouble maker tightly to his chest.
He wasn’t great at hugging, Nya had informed him that he was either too awkward about it or held on too tight. But the kid clung tighter to him than he did, little hands gripping the fabric of his shirt in a desperate grasp and he could feel the tears soaking through.
This was…probably weird. Or, at least, it should be. They weren’t nearly close enough for this to be normal.
But somehow…it just felt right.
When his sobs had died down and he had scrubbed his face until it was beat red, he hesitantly let go and drew back just slightly.
He seemed embarrassed with himself but couldn’t find a plausible excuse for the emotional breakdown he had just had so the awkward silence that followed had them both feeling pretty shitty.
Everything in him was screaming at him for this, comforting the boy and reassuring him, it was idiotic and would only result in the boy becoming more attached to a doomed individual.
His stomach was seemingly permanently coiled in nausea and a cold grip tightened around his heart as his fear skyrocketed.
It was a terrible choice he had to make. He would either become a full-on bastard and destroy every ounce of self-worth this kid had here and now, which, granted, was a choice that the boy had been idiotic to offer to him, but he was still nine …Or he could comfort the boy, save him from such an early disappointment and heart-break but set him up for a far worse one in future years if the kid stuck around.
Neither option was very good, but he knew what he had to do, even if every cell in his body was telling him to run in the other direction because it had a sinking feeling that should he choose to save him now, his self-destructive tendencies would only increase to levels that shouldn’t be humanly possible and he was already having enough trouble as it was keeping them in check.
…But his heart plummeted when he saw the look on the boy’s face, and all other options were thrown to the wind, consequences and future self be damned, he was already attached to this kid and he would just have to anchor down and take the oncoming blows and traps he was setting for himself by doing this.
It had been pointless to try and stop it really, as soon as the boy stepped foot on this ship and amber eyes met green…his heart was just as destined to break as his own already battered body.
They were both similar in that they were doomed in one way or another, but he hoped he could find a way to shelter the child from suffering that, no matter the cost.
He scratched the side of his head, looking at a spot on the wall and refused to remove his gaze from it as he opened his mouth, despite everything in him screaming against it.
“Mega monster amusement park is having a whole grand opening thing for a new ride…”
From the corner of his eye he saw the boy’s form go ridged.
“I was thinking–”
“Yes!”
Little arms were secured around his waist once again and he looked down in surprise before a laugh tumbled from his lips, hand resting on the kid’s sticky main.
He quickly pulled away, cheeks burning and fidgeting but he could tell that this time, he was only embarrassed by having hugged him again so suddenly and that it didn’t have to do with some self-deprecating thoughts.
“Now about that all-nighter…”
He had held on twelve minutes and fifteen seconds longer than Nya had at her best. Though, to be fair, it had been a while since he had timed her.
He smiled fondly down at the sprawled out form before his expression soured and he turned away.
This poor kid had no idea what he was getting himself into. A relationship with him was the same as a relationship with a dead man, only this one was still walking.
Sure he was good at keeping all that bottled up inside, and he was trying to get better, maybe even escape his ever impending doom that hung just in front of him every waking moment as a constant reminder, like a noose that he had yet to put around his neck.
He had always been standing on this execution stand, not remembering a moment in his life that he wasn’t staring at the instrument of his own destruction. But he had never wanted anyone to witness it, never wanted anyone to be affected by it, least of all a child .
He really wished the little boy had someone else, anyone else, really, so he wouldn’t have to be around him all the time. But the fact that he was here and showed no signs of leaving anytime soon made it all so complicated.
So he would try to keep him at arm’s length for the most part, just enough so that he wouldn’t get too attached, but he would also keep him close enough for him to know he didn’t dislike him.
A chill went down his spine and he resisted the urge to pull at the blanket since it could disturb the boy, and he folded his arms over his chest, hunching in on himself.
He hated the cold.
The boy shifted closer, grasping around until his fingers brushed his side and he unconsciously snuggled up against him, mumbling unintelligible things under his breath.
His muscles tensed as he slowly looked down at the small form.
‘Cold…he must be cold.’
He smiled softly, forgetting his inner panic as he placed his hand on the boys sticky head, making a mental note to get him to take a shower come morning as he changed positions, laying down beside his 'new best bud' who immediately responded by huddling close to him, pressing his rosy cheeks against his ribs and his little hand fumbled around his shirt until he finally held a small bunched up portion in a loose grasp.
He had been told he had abnormally high body heat and he supposed he was glad for it as the kid hummed contently.
Having another little brother wouldn’t be so bad…he just hoped he could be a good enough big brother for such a sweet kid.
He couldn’t help the hatred that burned in his gut when he thought of this kid’s–tch, could you even call them ‘parents’? This kid…he needed someone. The others were alright, hell, they were great, but they had never raised a kid before. He had. He raised Nya and he was proud of it, she was smart and beautiful and confident. He had done a damn good job and that may have been the only thing he was sure of.
This kid…he needed someone like him, didn’t he?
He frowned, but the tension eased when the kid muttered something about candy and ruling the world and he held back a snort of laughter.
Yeah…maybe the kid did need someone like him, as messed up as that was and as broken as he was…he would just have to try to stick around long enough for him to get to at least where Nya was. Hopefully the noose would hold off until then at least.
A whimper interrupted his thoughts and his wide eyes swiveled frantically over to the boy’s shaking form.
He began thrashing about and he bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, quickly wrapping his arms around him and holding him against his chest as soon as he saw the tears start to stream.
“Mmm…” He sniffled, clinging tighter. “Don’t go…m-mom…dad…I…please…”
It felt as though a dagger had just been stabbed repeatedly into his heart.
“Shh…” He whispered, his hand smoothing over his back in a calming up and down motion as he had always done for Nya. “It’s okay…I’m here. Not going anywhere.” He really hoped that wasn’t a lie.
“Mm…Kai?”
He swallowed thickly. “Yeah buddy…” He fought away the familiarity of the situation, how Nya had cried out for their mom and dad and he nearly had an emotional breakdown every time as a child after having to comfort her.
"Not leavin...?"
"Not leaving." He assured, as sincere and strong as he could manage.
The boy had been beaten down and abandoned time and time again by the people that were supposed to care...
So he said the only thing he knew how to say, the only thing that mattered, because yeah, he couldn’t replace what they had lost, but he would always be there…or at least he would try his best to be, as long as they needed him.
At the end of the day it didn’t matter what the future held, because there was a little kid who had lost everything crying and needing something, anything , to fill the void.
“Don’t worry, big shot...” He inhaled deeply, trying to calm his racing heart that told him this kind of promise was something that held a far too familiar weight that he had barely managed to pull through on the last time.
But as the kid settled, seemingly sufficiently reassured, he couldn’t help but make the same promise he had made at five years old to the baby girl sucking her thumb and looking up at him with wide eyes full of unshed tears after the house was found empty.
A sarcastic voice sounded in the back of his head. 'Off the deep end it is...'
“I’ll watch over you from now on.”