Chapter Text
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
All Kyle Broflovski could will himself to do was stare up at the gray ceiling of his room, his eyes trained on the yo gabba gabba sticker Ike put up there during that everlasting phase (Much to their mothers chagrin).
He fucking hated waking up early.
But he probably hated waking up early next to his super-best-friend even more. He was making it hard to focus. Or maybe it was just the stupid clock he needed to get rid of already, or the dripping faucet in the bathroom he’d been wanting to turn off all night. Definitely not his snoring, making Kyle so clearly aware of where he was, and when, and ugh.
Stanley Marsh always found a way to drive him crazy.
Kyle knew that if he even caught a glimpse of Stan’s dyed blonde hair, his roots prominent but what the other male referred to as ‘cool’, he’d stare a little bit longer than necessary. Then suddenly his mind would be going a hundred miles a minute, overwhelmed at the sight of the boy, and there he would be pulling an all nighter wrapped in a blanket of his thoughts.
Kyle swore he got over his crush on Stan back in the sixth grade, but here they were, senior year and Kyle still felt flustered at the sight of his sleeping friend.
It was all stupid, really.
Really, really stupid.
Kyle knew Stan and Wendy were dating and had been since elementary school, and that even the possibility of Stan liking him back was slim. The power couple had stayed strong throughout the years, from elementary school to now. It was impressive, really. The way two people could be with one another for that long. And sure, they had their many, many breakups where Kyle always had to nurse Stan back to recovery, but it was like there was some sort of magnet in the other they couldn’t resist. They always came back to one another, no matter how long the break or how much Kyle wished they broke up for good, just this once.
Kyle let out a sigh as he stared, tracing the stickers outline with his eyes, annoyed at how accepting he was of his predicament. He hated pining, too. And crushes in general. No wonder his mom called him negative all the time.
“Can't sleep either, huh?” The voice made Kyle sit up, startled at the sudden voice as he turned to Stan.
He wasn't asleep after all.
Though Kyle should’ve probably guessed that.
“You scared the shit out of me, I thought you were asleep.” the redhead muttered to the other boy as he sat up, pulling out his phone to check the time, which Kyle guessed was around one or two. He brushed his too-long hair out of his eyes, having tied it up for the night. It really was getting long, but he kind of liked how it looked.
“This isn’t new dude, you know that. Sleep is more of a choice these days.” Stan shrugged, a sleepy grin on his face. He did that a lot, said something the slightest bit concerning and then masked it with a simple smile or laugh. It worried Kyle.
“Don’t you have practice tomorrow?” Kyle turned to face Stan, ignoring the usual butterflies he felt as he took in his best friend's features. Stan really was handsome, even with the bags clear under his eyes. But he had clearly aged drastically, his ever so slightly toned physique almost disorienting.
Stan had joined the football team sometime around sophomore year, bored and looking for something to do, having experience from their old league with chef. They had practice Mondays and Wednesdays every week, in which Kyle would have to find some way to keep himself busy after school, like picking up Ike or hanging out with Kenny or Token. He didn’t mind doing any of these things of course, but sometimes he just missed his super best friend.
“Mmm, yeah. But it’s no big deal, dude. This happens every night.” Stan reassured him, failing at it drastically. Kyle knew his insomnia was hand in hand with his depression, but wished Stan himself could see the effects of it during school, looking as if he would fall asleep in every class in mere seconds. It was really getting more concerning as the days went on.
“Well, don’t do anything to make you look stupid, or Wendy will make you fix it with one of her nice threats.” Since becoming president at the start of the year, Wendy had been making sure everything was perfect in her life, to prepare for applying to colleges to ‘get the hell out of this place’. Which Kyle could relate to.
They had been fighting for the valedictorian spot in class ever since middle school, to the point it reached almost friendly competition. She really was the most successful girl in their class, and the smartest overall. Plus, Kyle always liked her after she beat up Cartman in the fourth grade, even though she was dating his almost decade long crush. She was not a force to be reckoned with, for sure. Kyle remembered just earlier that day, when they were all driving to school (a constant in the threes lives after Stan got a car, the ride from his farm to south park annoyingly long). Kyle was sat in the back playing on his phone as Wendy talked about homecoming.
“It needs to be big, but not so big it overshadows prom at the end of the year, but that probably won't happen since our parents will be there.” Wendy stated, scrolling on her phone while simultaneously talking to Stan as he drove, half paying attention to her as she talked. It seemed like Kyle, who was sitting in the back, was paying more mind to what she was saying than her boyfriend.
“Stanley, I think you should pay attention to what your girlfriends saying.” Kyle piped in from the back in a tone almost similar to his moms, not even needing to look up to see the look of betrayal Stan was giving him in the front mirror.
“Sorry babe, I’m just tired.” Stan said Kyle unsure if his apology was genuine or not. But Wendy seemed to take it, letting out a “Hm”.
“You're always tired,” She said, giving him a pointed look, to which Stan shrugged at.
“The perks of being an Insomniac.” He grinned back at her, Wendy unable not to smile back.
“You're such a dork.” She shook her head in amusement, looking back at her phone.
“Was that supposed to be an insult?” Stan retorted.
And boy did Kyle wish he was taking the bus with Kenny then, knowing how it would turn out everytime he drove with Stan and Wendy and still doing it anyways, despite how his heart would sink and he’d be annoyed for the rest of the morning.
“That's the thing!” Stan said a little too loud, enticing a wince from Kyle, knowing his mother wouldn't be too happy if he woke her up at one in the morning. Stan corrected himself, “That's the thing. I love Wendy, really, but, i dunno man. It just feels like I'm being left behind all the time. I mean, you know why I joined the football team, right?”
Kyle shook his head slowly, unsure. “You were bored and needed something to do? He took a guess, scrunching his eyes a bit. That’s what he thought the reason was at least. Stan did always seem to want something to do, so Kyle figured football was a way to pass time.
“No,” He answered immediately, before backtracking, “Well, yeah dude, but not really. I joined because Wendy had all these activities and important stuff she was gonna do for her future and in school while I was just her boyfriend, cheering for her on the sidelines. I didn’t just want to be Wendy’s boyfriend anymore. I felt like I needed to do football so I’d have something else about me. I dunno.” Stan tucked his head into his knees, looking away from Kyle a second as a silence took over them.
It wasn't like Kyle wanted him and Stan to be on Craig and Tweek or even Butters and Kenny level of intimacy, but it was times like this where he didn’t know if he should give Stan a hug or a pat on the back or something. When they were in elementary school they didn’t even hesitate, the type of friends to hang all over each other, but then Stan and Wendy got more and more serious and Kyle got more and more aware of his crush. But Stan never mentioned the lack of hugs, leading Kyle to assume he didn’t care about them either way. Maybe that was the opposite now. But Kyle couldn’t read Stan’s mind. He couldn’t read him at all.
How shitty of a super best friend he had to be for never noticing this, or asking.
Kyle had no idea Stan felt the need to do football because he thought he was irrelevant. Kyle could list a thousand reasons Stan was one of the coolest-if not the coolest- people he knew. But Kyle didn't get a chance to respond before Stan laid back down on his sleeping bag, making him do the same.
“It's nothing though. You’re right, big day tomorrow.” he muttered and turned on his side to sleep, Kyle doing the same, the two facing away from one another.
There was a period of silence before he decided to speak up, delayed but still thoughtful. “Hey, Stan?” Kyle piped up, in a bold attempt to comfort him. How, even Kyle didn’t know. But he did have a good reputation for making up monologues on the spot. He even got people to pay him before presentations if they didn’t know what to say in middle school. Kyle the brainiac, as always.
“Yeah dude?” He responded, unsure of what Kyle was going to say. Maybe if Kyle turned his head, he would see Stan staring back at him in curiosity, but he really didn’t need to see that. They were too up close for his flushed face to go unnoticed.
“You don’t… have to make yourself believe that you need to have some random hobby to be happy or live up to your girlfriend,” Kyle started, struggling to find the words a bit, “It's just. You’re a lot cooler than you think, man. At least to me. And probably Kenny. Who knows with the fatass though,” Kyle joked, earning a snort from Stan, which made the redhead crack a smile, “And if you wanted to just hang out with me and Kenny after school or something instead we wouldn't mind. It’d be nice to hang out everyday like we did when we were younger.” Kyle could feel Stan sitting up, following suit once again, only to see the shorter male cracking a smile.
“Was that your attempt at comforting me?” He laughed, heat rushing to Kyle’s face for two different reasons. Did he fuck it up? Probably. God, what the hell was going on in Stan’s head?
“I dunno dude! I just wanted you to-” Kyle was cut off by Stan scooting his sleeping bag closer and pulling him into a hug. At first, Kyle was a bit shocked by the sudden physical touch but hugged him back within a few seconds. It was nice. It was almost like he needed it more than Stan. It’d been so long. Maybe Stan missed the hugs after all.
“Love you, man.” Stan mumbled into Kyle’s neck, the feeling of his breath shooting goosebumps down Kyle’s spine, somehow still making him fluster after all these years.
“Yeah. Love you too.”