Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Phew that was a long day of watchign south park for liane cartman because i love her" said terrance very cutely, sitting at their desk in the dark like a lonely fucking nerd. They sat back from their desk and stretched, cracking their knuckles, before leaning back to their crappy computer (I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THEY HAVE A COMPUTER BUT I TOOK SOME CREATIVE LIBERTYS XOXO) and opening spotify. "Hmmm I need something new to listen to" they said out loud because they talk to themself like an idiot. Suddenly they remembered something the amazingly sexy, hot, and gorgeous beetlejizz (Betelgeuse for you LOSERS who are reading this by mistake.) had told them.

In the wise words of beetlejizz : "U should listen to Will Wood terrance xoxox."

so they did. they opened spotify and searched will wood. There were two results. one was just will wood and one was will wood and the tapewroms, which made terrance think "wtf.. who has tapeworms thats so weird and gross😨😨😨". Terrance proceeded to listen to the entire normal album and it was the most angelic amazing stunning perfect delicious music they had ever heard, by the end they were sobbing from how beautiful it was. "Wow beetlejizz was so right (as always)" they said to themself.

Suddenly there was a knock on their window OMG😱😱😱😱

they pulled back the curtains and looked out of the window, and there, standing in front of their house, WAS WILL WOOD!! OH EM GEE!! He had an armful of rocks that he was throwing at terrance's window. he looked up at them with a rizzful face and said "O terrance, o terrance, let down ur hair babycakes." but terrances hair was not long enough so they used their cardboard cutout of liane cartman to pull him in.

Will wood stared into terrances beautiful orbs and said "we should make out lol"

so they did. Now they're totally gay for eachother lmaoaoaoaoaoaoaoa

why did i write this im soprry terrance

Chapter Text

[SEXY LITTLE TIMESKIP FROM THE LAST CHAPTER HERE, WILL WOOD PROPOSED TO TERRANCE AND NOW THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED NO WAY.]

Terrance is standing at the altar (IS THAT HOW YOU SPELL THAT WORD) waiting for Will, terrance is dressed very smartly in a super epic black and white striped suit - wonder who gave them that lol - and beetlejizz (betelgeuse) is terrances best man. Sitting in the audience is Liane Cartman (not the cardboard cutout, the actual woman), terrance's family probably, will's family probably, and 8 mysterious hooded strangers sitting at the back who r all shaped strangely like the critical role cast.

The back doors fly open, and WILL EMERGES!! He's wearing a bEAUTIFUYL GORGEOUS WHITE DRESS! It's sparkly and uh... uh... i dunno, what do wedding dresses look like?? It uh.. also he has a reallky sexy veil on his head, hiding his face. He holds a bouket (I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT, BUT LIKE A FUCKTON OF FLOWERS) in his hairy arms and takes a few steps towards the altar, being walked up there by sans the skeelton. He walks up to the altar, sans sheds a single tear and goes to sit down. Both terrance and will stand infront of eachother, cutely gazing into eachothers orbs

the wedding officiant, who is some ugly little 12 year old (beetles sibling lol) speaks up. "Friends, loved ones, magical skeletons, mysterious hooded strangers, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these 2 gays 🤩🤩 Do u wanna say vows or what lol."

Terrence clears their throat.

"Will,,,, since u first crawled into my house through my bedroom window, i have been waitinfg for this moment.. i lov e you pookiebear, and i promise to never leave you ever xoxoxo"

Will Wood sheds a tear, he starts sobbing so uncontrolably he cant even say his own vows, so the ugly wedding officiant continues speaking

"Okok, stop being gay and let me do my thing.. AHEM.. William Wood, do you take this.. erm.. terrance.. to be your lawfulyl wedded partner, through sickness and health, to have and to hold, 'til death to us part??"

"I do." mumbles will through his tears

"Okay anmd terrance, same question to u"

"I do" terrance sniffles, about to start crying

The officiant rolls their eyes because ur both being fucking dramatic"If anybody has any reasons as to why these two should NOT be leghally gay, speak now or forever hold your peace."

ONE OF THE MYSTERIOUS, CRITICAL ROLE SHAPED FIGURES AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM STANDS UP AND SHOUTS "HOLD IT!"

HE RIPS HIS HOOD DOWN, AND IT'S MATTHEW FUCKING MERCER FROM CRITICAL ROLE.

HE TURNS A CAMERA ON

"Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of crtical role, the show where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors CRASH THIS WEDDING."

THE REST OF THEE CRTIICAL ROLE CAST PULL THEIR HOODS DOWN, AND START RUINING THE WEDDING OH EM GEE

TALIESIN JAFFE GRABS BETELGEUSE, LAURA BAILEY SHOVES THE WEDDING OFFICIANT INTO A WALL AND SMASHES THEIR SKULL IN (they died lol), AND TRAVIS WILLINGHAM AND ASHLEY JOHNSON GRAB WILL WOOD AND START PULLING HIM AWAY, TEH AUDIENCE PANICKS

Mister mercer walks over to Terrance, getting down on one knee

"Tetirsances... will you.. marry ME instead??"

Terrance is completely flabbergasted. They look up to Will in shock, before back down to Mercer, after a lot of careful consideration, they speak.

"ERM,,,, WELL,, ERM,,,,,,,,,, LETS ALL BE GAY TOGETHER BABYCAKES."

AND THEN THEY KISS OR SOMETHING LOL THE END, HAPPY ENDING

Chapter Text

It was a bright new day, the morning after terrance, wills and also matthew mercer's wedding (SORRY MARISHA RAY XOXOXOXO BUT TETIRSANCES STOLE UR HUSBAND)
Terrance woke up to find that will wood had made the them breakfast,, which was like,, very shit because will was a terrible cook but its okay cause he's doing his best and i like his music so who cares

Will shifted nerbvously, looking down at the floor like he had something to say, but didn't know how to say it. He touched the tips of his fingers together like a kawaii little boy and asked nervously "U-Um.. terrance.. a-and matt.. baes.." he swallows nervously and cutely "can we adopt a child.."

terrance LOVED THE IDEA cause terrance for some reason wanted kids (i guess?? i dont know, dont question it, it's 4 the plot, dont question meeeeeeeee) so all three of them hopped onto the ryan gosling bus and rode it to the adoption agency (they didn't pay for their bus tickets 😎😎😎😎) to go,, purchase a child i guess?? i don't know how adoption works

they rolled up to the front door and waltzed in like they owned the whole place, terrance strutting in first with Will and Matt flanking them, everyone stopped and starred and clapped at the amazing sight of some random gay with two minor celebrities. They were awestruck, so the adoption people let them select from the vip children because for some reason the adoption centre has a section of children who are reserved from the coolest most radical awesome families ever.

Terrance looked at all of the babies, and decided that they were simply not good enough, and will wood and matthew mercer agreed. they both decided that the person they truly needed to adopt was the one running the adoption agency, who was some kind of... sentient clock. His nametag read tony. terrance pointed at him and said "I want that one." so the rest of the adoption agency staff tackled tony the talking clock and bundled him up like a baby so that the three random gays that just walked in could take him home, now beginning a new, happy chapter in all of their lives (aside from tony's probably because he just got kidnapped by gays)

Chapter Text

It's a bright new day in the Tetirsances-Wood-Mercer household (triple barrel surname) and tony, their recently adopted child.. clock.. thing, went outside to play,,,

the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and OH GOD TONY DONT PLAY IN THE ROAD TONY NO TONY. FUCK HE CANT HEAR ME HE HAS NO EARS BECAUSE HE'S A CLCOKL

TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!

TONY THERES AN EIGHTEEN WHEELER SEMI-TRUCK COMING-

uh oh.

Terrance walks out of the house and finds their son lying on the road, face down, flattened because he got hit by a fucking semi truckm,,

so terrance calls the ambulance 💞💞💞💞💞💞

The ambulance arrives and this is england (cause i said so) so it's completely free to have a ride in the wee woo wagon, and tony gets scraped off the ground with a snow shovel and put inthe back of the ambulance..

the paramedic was some guy in a hawaiian shirt, nametag said "Tim",, he seems really gay.

Terrance decided to ride in the back of the ambulance with tony but not because they care about tony but because they need to see if this paramedic is actually as gay as he looks, because he looks fucking fruity,,

ANYWAY THEY ARRIVE AT THE HOSPITAL AND TONY'S FUCKING MANGLED CLOCK BODY THAT IS SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE IS WHEELED AWAY, TERRANCE ISN'T ALLOWED TO GO WITH SO THEY SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM,,

after like three hours that gay ass doctor paramedic thing named tim comes back out

"erm,,, so he's not dead" tim explains. he then continues to speak but terrance literally does not listen because they're staring intently at tim and trying to work out if this fucker is homosexual or not. the only thing htat terrance really gets from the conversation is that tim is definitely at least queer and that tony has to stay in the hopsital for a bit, so he just,, gets up and leaves to go tell will and matthew the news

erm the end i guess (untill the next chapter probably)