Work Text:
(Sky pov:)
I was at another party Gun brought me to, at some bar. It was loud, the smell of alcohol and sweat made me nauseous. She was laughing at something with her friends when I told her I was going to go to the bathroom.
“Hey, I’m going to the bathroom for a second.”
She waved me off, not even glancing at me but the way her jaw tensed I could tell I’d upset her. I walked away with my heart in my throat. ‘I hope she gets drunk enough to forget that’. I thought as I walked into the white bathroom, it didn’t smell much better than the rest of the place except there was a noticeable sent of piss and vomit. I took care of my business and was washing my hands when a girl came out of one of the stalls to wash her hands.
Curiosity finally won and I glanced at her in the mirror. She was pretty, half a head taller than me and a kind expression. As my eyes wandered down her figure they halted on what looked to be over a hundred of pink and white scratches all up her arms. I froze and couldn’t help but gawk at them. I glanced up to see if she had caught me staring and our eyes met in the mirror. I tore my eyes away from hers as if her gaze had burnt me, panic clawing up my throat and hooking it’s claws in my chest.
“…”
“I made them.”
A velvety voice said. My head whipped up in shock, the pretty girl was now facing me leaning on the sink, tap turned off.
“..what?” I said, hesitating like an idiot.
“I made them” she repeated, with a soft smile “every night I sat in my bed with razors I took from sharpeners and cried. The blood helped sooth me, the pain was grounding, it helped me get out of my head. The sting was like lighting a cigarette, knowing your craving would be satisfied soon, and the blood was like the addictive drag of smoke filling your lungs, you know it’s bad for you, but you don’t care, you can’t care.”
I stood speechless, this girl who’s name I didn’t even know was spilling her heart to me “why..why are you telling me this?”
“Because, you can have something break your heart over and over again.”
“How many times can something break your heart?” I asked hesitantly.
“As long as you love it.” She replied.
Something in me felt like it had been jarred. Her words stunned me like whiplash. I felt like throwing up, but something in me called out. It screamed in solitary like it was a wild animal caged that had seen light for the first time in years. It rattled the bars of its cage in my chest, clawing desperately to escape, wanting more of that light, needing more of that light.
“Love is a dangerous emotion; you can so easily mistake if for fear. You can say you love something but in reality, you only fear what to do when it leaves.” She continued softly. “I thought I loved pain and suffering, but I was just scared of the other emotions that took a hold of me. Blood distracted me from wanting to scream and cry. I thought crying equalled weakness, when in reality it’s strength. Being able to clearly express your emotions is a strength I haven’t quite mastered, but hopefully I will soon.”
I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Her every word struck me in the stomach as the beast in my chest howled louder, fighting with it’s everything to break free of the treacherous bars it’d been trap behind for so long and spring towards the light that seemed to shine just a little brighter.
Tears welled up in my eye’s as I asked the girl, no the woman, what her name was. “Who- who are you?” My voice cracked from the dam of emotions I was trying to suppress.
“My name’s Porchay, but you can call me Chay.” She replied kindly “what’s yours?”
“S-sky” I said my voice cracking again, I felt pathetic. A couple words from a stranger (no, Chay) and I was crying. 'God I am fucking pathetic.'
“Well sky, is it ok if I touch you?” she asked, “Yes” I replied with no hesitation, closing my eyes as I waited for her to strike me and tell me that everything she just said was fake and that I was nothing but a pathetic fuck toy, but instead she did something that had my eyes flying open, for no pain came but rather two warm arms wrapping around me. She guided my head onto the space between her shoulder and neck, she then whispered in my ear “you can cry, it’s alright I won’t tell anyone, I’m good at keeping secrets.” And just like that the dam cracked and fell. I don’t know why; I’ve only known this girl for ten minutes yet the simplest of words had me breaking down a wall and exposing a thing I had hidden from everyone I ever cared about in my life.
“W-why the f-fuck am I reacting like this!” I sobbed noisily. “I can always fucking hide my emotions why not now!” I screamed in anguish.
“Because” she whispered in my ear “I’m not someone you care about. You think telling people you care about, about your emotions burdens them, I know, I was that girl, but you’re not a burden, not to me, not to anyone.”
Normally I would have politely smiled and said, “I know, you don’t need to tell me” While I internally roll my eyes, but this was in no way a normal situation and her words made that light even brighter and that monster even stronger, I knew the bars were bending and cracking but I still hoped they would hold, I didn’t want to know what hid in that breaking cage.
And so she held me as I sobbed into her shoulder, she didn’t tell me all would be ok or that I’m fine she just held me and told me to let it all out. She didn’t promise me the stars and the moon, she simply did what she could. She helped me because she wanted too, not because she had too, she chose too, she chose me…
...
“My Sky?”
“…Huh? Oh sorry Prapai, I got lost in thought, so you were meaning to ask me something, right?” I startled, addressing my girlfriend of two years. In my unbiased opinion she was the most beautiful girl in the world, she would disagree, she’d say I was. The thought brought a smile to my face.
“Someone’s smiling, what were you thinking about hmmm?” She teased, smirking seductively.
In less than two seconds I was a red as a tomato, Blood rushed to my face as I threw a pillow at her while exclaiming “YOU HORNY GORILLA!” She laughed highly amused after the pillow smacked her in the face.
“Anyways, what did you want to ask me?” I reminded her.
“Oh! Right, so I’ve been thinking, and I feel it’s about time you met my mama Porsche and my ma Kinn. If you are comfortable with meeting them that is! If not I can tell them to wait longer, it’s just when I visit I always talk about you, and they are very curious about who could tame their chaotic daughter but if you don’t want too I can- “She stopped ranting when I interrupted her. “I’d love to meet your mothers.”
“Great!” She exclaimed “Oh, but I must warn you if you’re meeting my parents there’s a good chance you’ll meet my aunts as well.”
“Ok that’s fine. I’m sure your family is lovely.” I reassured her.
'Well it looks like I’m meeting my girlfriend’s family soon… Oh god I hope I make a good impression on the biggest mafia family in Thailand!'
...