Work Text:
Another comfortingly dull day at the Agency. Kunikida worked diligently on a report for a case he had worked on recently, nothing too serious. He typed away, even as his fellow coworkers headed home for the day. Well, all except for one.
"If you don't plan to do anything but sit there, I suggest you leave for the day."
Kunikida grumbled, annoyed that the bandaged man sitting across from him was continuously tapping his desk. Over and over, as if he was attempting to tap a song.
"Kunikida, I'm bored."
"Well no shit, if you want to do something interesting, I recommend you finish that pile of work on your desk. You're really starting to get on my nerves, jackass."
The blond was honestly tired of Dazai's endless antics, his eyebrows furrowing even as he continued to work on his report furiously. He felt a migraine coming along, something he had been dreading the entire day.
"Awww, is that a pouty face I see? If you keep straining like that, you're going to give yourself a hernia."
The damn bastard teased, only worsening the growing annoyance in Kunikida's mood.
"And what do you suggest I do to calm down, huh? Got any bright ideas?"
Kunikida's voice dripped with sarcasm, he had even shut his laptop to glare at Dazai.
"Hmmm. Enclosure therapy."
Now, what the hell could that be? Sounds like some sort of training procedure for dogs or something. Against his better judgment, Kunikida took out his notebook, beginning to etch notes about this said "therapy."
"..Go on."
Dazai grinned mischievously, getting up and walking over to stand behind Kunikida, watching as he wrote.
"Well, first off, you need a buddy. And thennnn… you gotta find a dark space. One with an especially handy ceiling beam just in case your buddy decides to kick the bucket."
Kunikida raised his eyebrows, before Dazai shook his hands dismissively.
"That part was a joke. Anyways, I'd better just show you what enclosure therapy is, it works wonders for the mind. Come along now~"
Dazai practically hummed as he dragged Kunikida into the nearest closet, shutting the door and turning off the small ceiling light.
"..Alright, what the hell is next? You're starting to lose me."
This all seems like a huge waste of time, damn it.. Kunikida's ears began ringing slightly in the dark space, he couldn't even continue writing in a place like this. Although, the darkness did seem to help his aching head just a bit.
"Trust me, this is the good part. You have to sit down for it though, like this."
The man did as instructed, the two now sitting cross legged on the floor, Kunikida's left knee brushing against the closet door slightly. It smelled like paper and old business jackets in there, a strange yet comforting scent.
"..Now what?"
He questioned, obviously getting fed up with Dazai's explanation.
"I'm messing with you."
Even through the darkness, Kunikida could clearly tell Dazai was smirking deviously, like a stupid clown. Almost instantly, the pain in Kunikida's head skyrocketed, causing him to snap his pen before reaching over to strangle Dazai in the tight space.
"You—!! You damn idiot, do you have any idea how badly you've wasted my time? I ought to wring your neck out like a damn towel—!"
Kunikida continued cursing out the brunette as he choked him, only a strained laugh emitted from the other man's lips before he spoke again.
"Is it working? You're acting like an animal, so enclosure therapy has to work, right?"
Dazai choked out with a cheeky smile, the idealist only clenching his palm and fingers tighter around his throat.
"Shut your mouth. I don't want to hear another peep from you, got it?? I'm going to get the hell back to work, and you're gonna go home and do whatever the hell you do best. Laze around."
He tightened his grip one last time before letting go, carefully shoving Dazai so his back hit the wall.
"Aww, why'd you stop? I was so close."
Dazai rasped out, his voice gravelly from being choked out. Kunikida's heart ran cold, yet his cheeks warmed up with embarrassment.
"..Close to what, exactly?"
The other man laughed, hitting his fist against Kunikida's shoulder as if they had been joking around with each other this whole time.
"Close to dying, duh. What, did you think I meant something else? I'll have you know, I'm not that quick of a shot. But on a scale from one to ten, I'd have to say I'm actually pretty hard right now."
Kunikida's jaw dropped at the out of pocket statement, suddenly his heartbeat seemed much louder in the tight space than before.
"The hell are you talking about?!"
Dazai leaned closer, whispering loudly to Kunikida.
"I'm h-a-r-d."
"I know what you said, Dazai."
Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing in annoyance. This wasn't a first time thing after all. Quick moments of passion were becoming.. more common for the two. Of course, Kunikida had originally despised one night stands, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that what they had was much more than that.
"This isn't a private place, you idiot. We can't just.. do that here. God, are you even listening to yourself right now?"
Dazai sighed, obviously pouting at Kunikida's words. His hand was trailing up Kunikida's thigh..
"Doesn't it sound fun though? Relieving your stress at work, so you can get right back to writing your mindless reports. Please, Kunikida?"
The man was begging, mostly to piss Kunikida off. But it always seemed to work, no matter how ungenuine the other man may seem.
"I will give you fifteen minutes. You are lucky everyone else is gone, asshole. If we get caught, I'll personally strangle you to death."
Kunikida scoffed, standing up to unbuckle his belt nervously. He was honestly terrified that someone would open the door right now and see them in such a compromising position. Dazai was already kneeling in front of him, trailing his hands along Kunikida's ass and thighs as the blond unzipped his pants.
"You know better than anyone how much I'd enjoy that, don't you, Kunikida?"
Dazai spoke smoothly, his eyes had a glint of serious lust inside of them as he eyed Kunikida down. It almost sent a shiver down his spine, especially as he pulled out his already half hard cock.
"Shut it.. don't talk."
Dazai opened his mouth in submission, as Kunikida sunk his cock down his throat. He let out a low groan before covering his mouth, his other hand bunched up in Dazai's hair.
"F..fuck."
He cursed lowly as Dazai began to suck him off, his mouth and tongue felt especially warm and wet— Kunikida twitched slightly as he felt the man begin to moan beneath him, sending pleasurable vibrations down his shaft. I don't know how much more of this I can take- he's always been so good at this..
His hips began to buck slightly from the feeling, earning an unamused glare from Dazai. He pulled his mouth off with a wet noise, licking his lips as he looked up at Kunikida.
"Don't hold back." Dazai's hand began to gently stroke Kunikida's dick, the tip already beginning to form a small bead of precum. "If you want to fuck my face, I don't see a point in holding back."
He licked a long stripe up Kunikida's cock, placing gentle licks on the edge of his tip. That earned an oversensitive moan from Kunikida, his hand clamping over his mouth tighter to silence his lewd noises. The teasing was far too much by now, he couldn't take it. He pulled Dazai's head back slightly by his brown hair, before fully submerging his cock down the man's throat.
A quiet gag came from Dazai, his own hand beginning to rub himself through the fabric of his pants. The closet felt extremely hot and already smelled of sex, Kunikida gradually beginning to thrust his hips against Dazai's mouth. He was a bit slower than usual, most likely wanting to remain quiet so they didn't get caught.
His cock twitched inside Dazai's mouth, his breathing heavily as his lungs fought to catch his breath. He had to keep his mouth covered- there was no way he was going to remain silent through this entire encounter. Fuck— the way he's..
Wet sounds emitted from Dazai's mouth, his own hips bucking up slightly as he stroked himself through his own pants. It was truly a pathetic sight to see, even through the darkness. Well, they were both pathetic to tell the truth. Ever since he and Dazai decided to start having sex, it's like Kunikida's libido skyrocketed by at least a hundredfold.
His cock felt a familiar jolt of pleasure at one particular thrust, his movements getting messy as he felt the buildup of pressure within his lower stomach. God— I can't even warn the damn bastard—
"I'm gonna— Aah—"
Quicker than he could find his words, he came inside Dazai's mouth, his entire body shuddering with delight as he pulled the other's hair tighter. With quick swallows, Dazai had managed to stay completely quiet, choking slightly before calming down, his hand movements had even stopped as well, but it was obvious he hadn't came yet.
"M.. my apologies."
Kunikida took his dick out of Dazai's warm mouth, letting out a shaky sigh as he tucked it back into his pants and buckled his belt. Dazai shook his head as he looked up at Kunikida, shortly standing up to pull him into a passionate kiss. W-what the hell is this..?? Kunikida moaned softly against Dazai's mouth, he could.. taste himself. Dazai swallowed slightly at the kiss, the two exchanging spit and cum between their mouths. It was oddly arousing to Kunikida, something he had hardly expected.
There was so much of it. He could already feel himself getting riled up again, but there was hardly anymore time left to go another round for himself. As if Dazai could hear Kunikida's thoughts, he carefully shoved the man against the wall, pushing his shoulders down so he sank to the floor.
"Don't get any more ideas, Kunikida~ We only have six minutes left."
Dazai teased, beginning to unbuckle his own belt. His hands trembled slightly even as his long fingers removed his cock from his pants, his sex radiating off a needy heat. Kunikida already felt mortified with embarrassment, yet he couldn't help himself as he began to messily suck and lick Dazai's cock out of desperation.
"Ah-ah. Let me show you what I want you to do to me next time."
Dazai took a handful of Kunikida's hair, most likely ruining his ponytail, before sinking his entire cock down the man's throat. Kunikida clenched his fists together before placing them on the back of Dazai's thighs, fighting the urge to gag at that moment.
It was difficult not to, even as Dazai began to roughly thrust his dick down his throat, leaving no room for him to breath or even speak. All he could feel was the hot need of Dazai's cock in his mouth— something he honestly felt surprised to taste. Slightly salty, with a small tang. Kunikida groaned against Dazai's dick, before the man abruptly stopped, his body freezing.
"Hm. I thought everyone had left."
After his initial moment of surprise, Dazai continued to fuck Kunikida's face, much faster than before. Dear God, if someone's actually out there, they're going to hear everything-
Kunikida stifled a groan, his eyes welling up with tears from the pain. Although, his pleasure certainly outweighed it, his hard cock bulging against his pants as he sucked off the other man. At almost an insanely short amount of time, Dazai's cock began to twitch slightly in Kunikida's mouth.
The other man let out an intentionally loud moan, before cumming down Kunikida's throat. At Kunikida's shock, he swallowed instinctively, fighting the urge to cough and choke in that moment.
"You— asshole-"
Kunikida sputtered out, Dazai happily tucking his cock away and buckling his belt once more. He panted before getting up, fixing up his hair so it didn't look like he had just been face fucked in the Agency's closet.
"I have a suspicion that it may be Atsushi. If he asks, just say you were choking me like usual."
Dazai spoke casually, his voice trembling slightly from his recent orgasm. Kunikida let out a peeved sigh before nodding.
"Fine."
And with that, the two opened the door, revealing that Ranpo had come back to get some leftover snacks that were at his desk. The man gave them a knowing smile, stifling a laugh.
"It doesn't take an all-knowing genius detective like me to figure out what happened. I won't tell anyone on one condition!"
To be fair, buying one month worth of treats for Ranpo was nothing compared to the threat of Kunikida losing his job. Although Kunikida refused to talk to Dazai for an entire week, the two decided to limit their sexual encounters to the backseat of cars and their bedrooms. As for Ranpo, he told Yosano anyway, who then sent the idealist a care package that contained a large stack of condoms. He was never going to live this down.